Incredible life

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					Incredible life
"Life's incredible," a book is the result of a dream after
Hu exploration and stumbled half, hand written autobiography. Her
contemplation of the words naked and opened a process of self-growth.
As detailed in the book, the narrative bit, you will find a very deep
and very courageous of the face himself, is a view of self, presenting
a wealth of human nature within "spiritual map." The authors
believe - "Only a distinct observation and thinking, completely
the opposite of a past way of education to awaken the human, resulting
in changes in consciousness. This difficult task can only start from
its own transformation.
Published Oriental Publishing Center
Introduction and Directory
Mainland version of the sequence
This book had "Dance of Death and the Virgin" in the name of
the Taiwan issue seven years ago, after the publication of the
Mainland companies continue to offer, we hope to publish the book in
China, but I still can not decide. Until met Mr. Huang Mingyu, Li
Xinhua products that the company has translated books Krishnamurti
more books, and gradually produced the Enlightenment in effect upon
the reader before the reader have decided to share this with the
mainland by the Clinton of the prequel.
In the past seven years, my life experiences continue to intensify and
the subtle of. Through the development of gender and parent-child
relationship, and I further realize that human life childhood
experiences have a significant impact on how much. Also with the
workshop's participants to grow the seven years, to observe more
subtle physical and spiritual relationship between the joint and
several. I found the relationship between the quality is indeed
directly related to human health, and healthy and decided whether the
smooth conduct of the maturity of the soul towards a higher level of
consciousness dimension. Early family life, values and beliefs in
monasteries, will determine a person's ingrained perception of life;
cognitive distortions if the whole community will follow the reverse.
Seven years after the fall of Taiwan's society is still in the
"right or wrong," the contest, still does not care about the
welfare of the individual inner world and the truth that, through
various forms of media can be easily learned. Therefore, the
integration of all aspects of physical and spiritual observation and
research in Chinese society there are many development and may even be
the next most urgent attention needs to be there for.
If this biography direction in life to help the reader to seek
guidance from outside the internal evidence, it Buwang Fei experienced
in my life during those non-verbal can be a hard road to make.
Taiwan version sequence
"Kuoran no saint" is the true essence of the book. If you
want to pre-book to find the ideal or standard, you might again fall
into despair, as the process of my writing is not perfect on their own
from the short Jiongpo born general. However, if you can have no
preconceived ideas along with the course of my life with me, pilgrims,
deconstruction, faded layers of coat, swimming naked in the waves in
conscious Tao, perhaps we all recognize each other from the
"zero" in the the birth of ancient creatures.
Taiwan Edition Preface Preface ... ... ... ... 21 mainland version of
Chapter 23 of the first turbulent times, the suffering of parents ...
... 33 Chapter refuge in life ... ... 65 Chapter III of Vanity Fair,
New York! New York! ... ... 97 Chapter career actor and star of
Chapter 111 of the truth ... ... ... ... 123 trials of love?
Chapter VI 143 Chapter VII seek ... ... ... ... 149 Fifty-three
participants of Chapter VIII of ecological and environmental awareness
... ... ... ... 167 Chapter 171 Chapter death of his father retreat
with the other hand, according to ... ... within the first 177 Chapter
XI through the trials of love and mother mourning ... ... 189 CHAPTER
XII cause a repeat - a single mother and only child ... ... 213
Chapter XIII, "the dark night of the soul" and the physical
and spiritual self-treatment ... ... 225 XIV single Mother's
Reflection ... ... 235 Chapter XV of grace and courage ... ... 239
CHAPTER XVI virgin dance of death and Postscript ... ... ... 249 ...
Chapter IV
Career as an actor and star of the truth (1)
From New York back to Taiwan, I found "Yunshen I do not know
at" the audience and the media leave the impression of still
sweltering, get to know some of the press a year ago, a friend came to
see me back again, I would like to know all in New York experience. I
had long hair cut into a China doll head, amount of bangs in front of
children hanging on the eyelid seems quite natural, the media
industry, Big Brother Yu Ying told me very directly, he preferred the
single fold of the I In addition, some of the arts community of
friends also miss my former Eastern classical beauty. I found all of
my friends to tell the truth most of to maintain relatively long
friendship. Through media reports in Taiwan that year I seem to
encourage the Chinese fashion industry hot, as she grew older and
deepening self-awareness, I become increasingly clear that the best
Chinese style my style, do not need to follow the poor have skills
quarter to quarter, Western designers to follow around, the valuable
energy and low self-esteem in the physical and chemical requirements
of outward relaxation.
Also popular is but blow away the cobwebs on a state of mind fills
mind if the old and worn, fashionable dress and then also nothing new.
Film companies from the reaction of the people smell my potential, and
I decided to enter into the basic actor contract. To be honest I still
do not know what was really acting, I think the other actors are not
very clear, even the directors, writers are semi-intuitive to run a
half to explore their creativity. And the emphasis on methods of
everything compared to the Western world of technology, Taiwan's film
industry professionals can be regarded as a genius, because in such a
humble condition, even locally produced movie can occupy the entire
Southeast Asian market. For creative writers of all skills of
employees in terms of the real creative people, actors and directors,
strictly speaking up are interpreters. However, in very short time,
emotion, except in the case of Chang Yung-Qiong Yao's works outside of
the most marketable, and its consequences are much the same each film
looks, the dramatis personae of the dialogue and monologue always
sounds familiar, even behind the scenes Dubbing is the same two or
three individuals.
In addition to the older group director Li Han-hsiang, King Hu, Bai
Jingrui, Lee, Song Shou kept outside, should yield the most number of
Lau Ka Cheong Fung, when everyone called him "Liu crazy."
Liu madman walk fast, move fast, think fast, the speed of curse came
out fast; as a typhoon-like, he put the whole team has been blown to
pieces. He asked himself to be a time-saving, money and manpower of
the director, thus setting a three-day film shoot amazing record. His
film actor from the show ran into the living room the dining room,
another theater, then they are squeezed into the coffee shop. He
usually ending montage to male and female walking on the beach rolling
white horses, accompanied by his own writing pop songs, and an end to
a "three-room movie."
Liu crazy all my friends to this day, he really is worthwhile to study
humans. Others uttered obscenities total gives a negative feeling, but
his "six words quatrains" even spit a hundred back, you
still feel break up with somebody. Cynical his character, his life ups
and downs, but no matter how frustrating, and always maintain the live
show and scary. He seems to prove ungrateful, can every critical
moment, but that ended up "patriotic party loyalty." His
mood is always written on his face, his plan is always hanging in his
mouth, but you do not think he was naive, because even the most astute
businessmen also succumbed to his charms. Of course, these conclusions
are simple spectators, the complexity of human nature that only you
know very well face.
There are many actors in the high-energy group, and not afraid to show
themselves who really caught my attention is usually reserved type of
person, which can cause Langxiong talk to me the most interest. Suiran
opportunities for cooperation much, but I always feel some spiritual
direction is similar. Although not all cast members is the key of ink,
very few dull person. Work in this circle, and perhaps intellectual
gain is not much, but the exchange of feelings and emotions are often
open with, and visual enjoyment are also sufficient. There were many
stars are "preferred camera actors" - their bone structure,
facial muscles, body proportion, color and texture, emotion and body
language showing off, can bring the audience a sense of beauty and
attraction force. Many of these individuals abroad charismatic actors,
most of them can become superstars, although they show the play in
each of the dramatis personae are their own and not.
An objective comparison, I have already understand that he is
"the camera does not love the actors" - my face is not
"palm-sized little face" (This is a very critical condition
on the mirror), weight must be maintained at forty-five kg, on the
face to the camera showing a sense of beauty. In addition, I sort of
temperament with ice, but not tall woman, but I am not satisfied with
the extent of their abundant buttocks augmentation is not the point of
need, so the show is full of some of the embarrassment of non-teen
idol roles of non-porn stars , for example, "Plum Blossom"
jumped into the sea to commit suicide in the female teacher,
"majority of the bridge martyrs Biography" Gao Hang
committed suicide in the good wife, "Claustrophobia" the
maverick dancer, "Tell me you love me" in the rebellious
painter, "cardinal vices," the wife of the veterans in Tou
Hanzi, "reincarnated" in the ghost, "Six blame on"
sex with white girls and so on.
I'm ready when these roles, usually before or the day before a week to
get the script, the script did not even have to start shooting
situations. The role of the historical background and psychology
portray only a simple explanation to the way the director camera work
editing mostly rely on short-lens series, the actor mood at the show
was cut off at every turn. Usually walk a few steps reach the point,
back to the turn into the top forty-five degree angle mirror, make
contemplation, meditation or inner monologue play. When actors perform
scenes needs and partners, often by the assistant director to replace
his fist as he or she went to the toilet or rest. So, whether you cry
is the laughter, is, or hears is silence in the face of often is a
At that time the popular patriotic war movies, fantasy films and
martial arts films are often applied to the special effects, actors in
the indigenous steel blasting technology and high to high to the
hanging wire in the careworn. I have the "ghost in July,"
this movie houses during blasting adventure written essays published
in the newspaper column. The technician is then responsible for an
ex-soldier down and I heard this man actor pinnacle in the
"Babaizhuangshi" being filmed in the killing of several
soldiers as extras, so with the powder in each relevant lens before
the shooting, will exhort each other to help each other some feelings.
Career as an actor and star of the truth (2)
I saw the director the order, I started working like mad to Lianpao
pinnacle with jumps, we leap off the mound in the moment, really
explosive was detonated, the power is greater than we thought. Wise
used to say: you're afraid of what will surely be what will happen,
but the dart is not me but an attempt to protect my pinnacle. I saw
his suit pants were covered with small holes, when he found the pants
leg off at least a dozen wounds, are dynamite Boom was scurrying
around the stones hit. At that time the actors have this problem is
often difficult to obtain compensation, Tao's wife Zhang Hailun in
Thailand filming the whole hand had been blown up, and later committed
suicide out. The tragic events like these and work in this field are
Also once in the Penghu Wangan Island shooting "Six
Unbelievable," the location, the film's director Wang Ju Kim
convinced several friends in the arts community cameo. The concept of
the film is not bad, a combination of staff and actors are also
impressive, with the exception limited funds, must be the most
economical way to shoot. Drama adapted from the legendary Wei, a total
of three parts, the tone pattern of Japan Unbelievable, I am
responsible for performing the first part of the heroine. Actress Xiao
Yin and her unusual pet feelings between the White Horse, actually
favors the point of arrival. White Horse is not a beast but the
original thing has a soul, the night it is transformed into an
accomplished scholar and Xiaoyin men and women events. Elders feel at
home seems to be differences between men and beasts, he was given a
free hand score, dead white. White skin is stripped down to dry in the
yard, shop, then to be married to see it one last look before Xiaoyin,
did not think it will be Xiaoyin horsehide flying heavy even wrapped,
suspended in a cocoon of the treetops Results . This story is
described in the cocoon of the origin.
Like other video recording process, "Six Unbelievable" also
need to overcome a variety of personnel issues, technical issues and
communication issues, staff and directors do not get along happily. I
remember flying to shooting horse skin wrapped Xiaoyin picture,
director racked his brain, and finally decided that the actress
wrapped in horse hide their own circles, and then to high-speed camera
showed rapid rotation of the lens effect. My whole body wrapped in
horse hide, the two arms can not move, both feet on the ground in
uneven rotation, but also sustain the stability of the body, really
not what I expected, turned out not long after the accident. I did not
stand a whole people straight down the ground, his head just hit a
stone on the spot in a faint. Even when I fainted into the near-death
experience - a series of mind of life emerge quickly rewind the lens,
every shot seems to have quarrels with people, I think if that moment
I really swallowed air, a certain soul will betake inner dimension of
the Shura Road. Result, that a "sacrifice for art," the lens
only appears on the screen a few seconds.
"Reincarnated" is described in a Taiwan folk ghost thing and
then add some director's imagination, my role is occupied by the ghost
of the heroine of the flesh. I remember shooting this movie around
November time, I was a bad cold and fever to thirty-nine degrees and
more, but to meet deadlines, still have to stay up late into the
morning. This movie has many pictures need to kill. Director in order
to create the bloody scene, the framework in addition to the original
script and added a lot of chickens to kill ducks, geese and kill the
snake to kill the lens, even for a feminist. I made the thirty-nine
degree fever, wearing translucent white gauze gown, standing on the
cold stream, the hand holding a kitchen knife, followed behind a group
of white goose, dog eat dog makes expression. I was recently divorced
and Li Ao, is the stage of litigation, and my heart is already a fire
in my belly, and then performed so meaningless, so disgusting scene,
it is fueled. No longer contain himself took a few days later, I told
the director said, although I do not have to personally kill, but
there are many tricks of film technology does not require Caojian any
creature, if I have to continue making such lenses announced strike.
Was mostly one-sided contracts to employers, I called the strike in
fact sacrificing a lot of money, but I really is the last straw - a
big bad movie released in theaters a few days at most showings, and is
worth Shasha cut this cut it? On balance then, after the director
decided not to add the killing of the lens, so keep a few pigs of
life, although a few pigs that will eventually become the temple of
human sacrifice the five internal organs. When this play staged
sincere brother went to see the tree, years later, he told me that I
put in this film is full of grievances that were ghost act very
penetrating. I told him I was not acting, is really resentment.
A few years later a group of baby eggs in Hong Kong and show the
"big ±¿Ôô" this movie, the hero is Michael Hui, the female
lead is me. There was a scene where Michael Hui fancies himself a
prince riding a white horse, I was sitting behind him princess. We are
talking and laughing when they rode, the horse suddenly shy raised a
forepaw. Michael Hui unable to control it, and I followed the horse
ass legs toward the world falling to the ground, Michael Hui
eighty-seven kg body coupled with the acceleration of gravity
throughout the fall on me, I could not move the spot, even the
stations are stand up. Staff rushed to call in a bone-famous doctor,
who roasted a quote Guangdong woman sticking plaster attached to the
caudal part of me, an hour after that I can stand up and walk around,
the next day by plane back to Taiwan, the third day and rushed to
Hsinchu stage. Hsinchu, a young bone-master massage a week for the
pain I have improved, but from then on the right side of the body
often aches, until his thirties met a qigong an expert - Tang Master,
he sucked out of hand I caudal parts of the sludge, the pain was
healed. The results of the re "Art for sacrifice" of the
lens, a second not appear, the original director of the whole had been
cut off.
Course of fifteen years I shot the film for nearly forty dumbfounding
video (actually very close to life), as I started watching old films
from the West out of the appreciation of the training point of view,
these films, only "beach day" excellent. Directed by Edward
Yang is the intellectual of our generation, more able to grasp the
subject of existentialism and individualism generation, with the
subject and the materialized view with the conflict between the older
generation, but also more capable of dealing with modern women's
reflection and growth. He gave me enough time for me to brewing
pianist I have played the role, while also cramming for my playing
techniques and asked two teachers, one is yet to debut in the Kay
Huang, another is "The Fat Man "Fan Zongpei (now a division
of the outstanding film soundtrack.) They assist me in over a month
repeat over and over again to simulate the Chopin Etudes "Winter
Wind" in the paragraph. Almost entirely not for me to play the
piano, this is really a challenge of incomprehensible, but the skill
of the two high school teacher, and later presented on the screen the
picture persuasive. In addition to simultaneous recordings of film
this is also to spend my "Snow White" level of German. I
have always been regarded as the standard pronunciation, shooting
another instructor, the final screen presentation of the German
dialogue is also quite convincing. Overall, this movie I finally
tasted the taste of professional and self-respect.
Career as an actor and star of the truth (3)
At that time Taiwan's film industry in the efforts of several new
directors, new wave trend has gradually become clear. I remember when
we Kanmao Pian Xiao Xian Film editing is the "wind cabinet to the
people," Old Yang Xiao Xian used to see a super long shot
picture, could not help but excitedly shouted: "Do you dare to do
so ah! Then I so also do! "I admired them for boldly stood by the
outpouring of loyalty to their own pleasure, since a wave of raw heart
throbbing, wet mold flowing in the air seems to play a pleasant
Xunfeng.ÄÇ moment I began to deep self reflection, in fact, a decade
performing my own work has never had a real sense of dignity while I
often performed out of Juqing laughed to myself at the side of the
absurd and superficial dialogue; it is a not created force response. I
share in this area a place for ten years, but I contributed what in
the end? I can for my acting partners do? I begin to address these
Stage performers of the Bible
Soon the "Information Bureau" a dinner, I met "on June
6 when heartbroken," the British actress Dana Wynter (Dana
Wynter), the intellectual and quite attractive demeanor gentlewomen my
attention. Washington dinner that gave me a long enough time to
exchange ideas with her. We talked very congenial conversation, I
expressed to her own work with actors, frustration and expectations,
she seems to understand; she was very concerned to suggest that I can
go to New York's HB Studio courses. She said that the small acting
school are distinguished by German actress Wu Taha root (Uta Hagen)
and her husband have founded, it combines "from the inside
out" and "outside-in" two mainstream performance kinds
of methods and unique.
So-called "from the inside out" performance method, its
heritage is the founder of Stanislavsky (Stanislavsky), carried
forward to modern times is the Lee Berger and Stella Adler Manchester
Lao Si ( Stella Adler). Strauss studied under Lee Berger of the large
number of Western actors, of which there were famous Marlon Brando
(Marlon Brando), James Dean (James Dean), Paul Newman (Paul Newman),
Jane Fang up to (Jane Fonda,), Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman (Dustin
Hoffman), Jack Nicholson (Jack Nicholson) and so on, through their
long-term training (usually five years or so), continue to explore
personal experience in the specific emotional and sensory memory, when
they performed when they try to evoke the memory and imagination, in
order to interpret the role of the state of mind. Although this
approach successfully cultivated many outstanding actors and
superstars, but unfortunately it is less emphasis on physical training
or external skills, so some of the "method acting," the
actor is always performed his own, and classroom performance is
variable became the center of psychoanalytic treatment.
"From the outside in" approach of the performance tradition
of the British stage of training. Actors must be familiar with
pronunciation skills, body movement, make-up technique and the use of
costumes, through this channel also cultivate a number of talented
British actors, such as my favorite ÍßÄÝɯÀ׵ Graves (Vanessa Redgrave),
Peter O'Toole (Peter O. Toole), Albert Finney (Albert Finney), Jeremy
Irons (Jeremy Irons), Alec Guinness (Alec Gennis) and so on. This
approach has been criticized because of its mechanical and flow in
appearance, but the truly outstanding natural integration of these
actors always in its performance in two ways. HB Studio provides
acting training is to combine the two, as a complete way.
Dana Wynter returned to Ireland soon after the Wu Taha root send me a
book of "respect for the performing arts", I still have her
sincere gratitude and care. This book is known as "American actor
of the Bible", the book is divided into three parts, the first
mainly to clarify our concept of actors and acting, and the
replacement of the methodology, emotional memory, sense memory,
improvisation, rehearsal, etc. and so on. The second part is the
stated goal of training, that is, when actors use in private life
alone two minutes of the time, by the trivial things around and
psychological truth to be self-acting training. In this section, Uttar
also made stage debut of three ways, the face of the fourth wall (the
audience) the psychological suggestions, monologue, and try to figure
out such acts of dramatis personae. The third part is the script and
explore the role of research and discovery. Uttar emphasis is from the
"fundamental" to create a character without adding
artificial or false pretense. Uttar great actor that a similar
subconscious reserve the essence of this book, but we still have to
learn one of the skills as a blueprint for the work.
I read in detail from start to finish of the Bible this actor, that
was a really enlightening experience, I was "Being a head to the
theater" of Taiwan's movie industry to shame, but also for their
own inaction and not feel duty-bound to professionalism. Oriental
visual blurring of national general of all things style and excellence
in the Western rationality test under the mapping methodology, however
rough and sloppy look, so I decided to "respect" book
translated into Chinese, for your domestic partner and aspiring
performing arts actor backward as a reference. Today, it still is the
acting can find a few of the works. Some directors such as Ang Lee,
and even asked him to play the actor to "respect" the book
as homework before the show.
"Respect" was published the year before I go alone into the
HB Studio in New York for further studies. I Niuyuesuohuo the most
popular West Broadway district bought a small steerage square meters
floor area. I have this lovely studio room painted blue, black, red,
white four kinds of bright colors, combined into a contemporary space;
this is I have the most attractive of the home. The help of friends to
DIY way to the house laid out, they start to review each school day a
student acting skills honed sense. My instructor was William Hickey
(William Hicky), he later participated in the "godfather of
modern" (Prizzi Wang Honor) and "Name of the Rose" (The
Name of the Rose) This two movies. In his "Name of the Rose"
plays a monastery in the old prophets, the vision to help Sean Connery
played Franciscan monk detective, and finally the detection of the
monastery in the bizarre murder. I really like this drama, the plot
subject to disclosure through the murder mystery of the traditional
religious organizations deliberately concealed esoteric plot, but also
criticism of the ascetic abstinence techniques twisted and
pathological. HB studio for the students, said William Hickey, Bill
(Bill), his age was already Sixty succeed, coupled with alcoholism for
years, looking skinny, poor and slightly neurotic. However, he is
really full of wisdom, a good teacher, the students performed if there
is any pretense or imitation ingredients, after the performance he
must be exposed and corrected. I remember when my partner is
performing a Greek youth, we use the English pronunciation co-star of
"Othello" and "thief Carnival" quite well received
by the teacher.
Profound meaning of the actors
During this period I began to think about the depth of the definition
of an actor in the end is. Either East or West, actor and human image
in the community within the heart are complex and carry a variety of
human projection. He is the envy of the fame model and over to be the
focus of attention, but also easily be the object of contempt and
ridicule, even the most outstanding actor could not escape this fate.
He stood naked in the media, the composition of black and white,
sometimes too black and blue by a hail of bullets bombers, sometimes
flattered to board a day; he seems to have the most powerful person in
the masses, it seems there is no power or importance of the outsider.
He always party politicians and tycoons playing organized fundraising
licorice role, even in the big screen or small screen, he is only a
medium to convey to others the life of a tool, then the significance
of actor job and the importance of what is in the end? I later found
out the answer to this question is answered anthropologists and
psychologists, the most depth.
Society actors in the original is in the form of shaman or witch show,
and then his function but Chongdang intermediary between God and man.
He is the earliest singers, wise men, dancers, cultural transmitters,
soothsayers, healers and life consultant. He and transfer through the
ritual to treat people the fear and confusion, or even directly into
invisible channels of energy, showing the god; such as Japanese Noh
drama, the ritual dances of Indonesia and Tibet, there was such a
mystery. In other words, in primitive society, an actor who has not
had the right of God and the lofty status of East and West were to be
so. However, since the rise of the Western Orthodox Christian Church,
the traditional witch was gradually dismissed as heresy, who started
the role of intermediary of God replaced by the priest, the actor from
the lofty status of craftsmen become entertainment of others. In the
Eastern world, the actor also gradually become actors, Comedians, and
prostitution, relentless and a symbol of hypocrisy.
But truly outstanding actor with a rich inner world, there is also no
shortage of mystical experience. They seem to meet the mental and
emotional integration and balance between, so they can show that
higher forms of understanding the emotional expression and smooth
unimpeded. When I carefully I myself, I found fifteen years of
performing work, I did not focus on the expression of emotions and
feelings, but to intellectual activity. I almost always have on hand
filming a book accompanied by, the content is nothing more than
philosophy, psychology, metaphysics or religion. Drama performance
does not seem to focus my mind, is my intellectual activities, but
keen. Wu Taha roots once said: "A real intellectual actor's
performance may be over-rational impulses." Obviously I belong to
this type of actor. No matter how hard I found myself performing on
the screen or the screen I was light as water, and I am concerned
about the theoretical and metaphysical thinking, far more than
theatrical performance. When I began to know their qualities and
potential, the mind becomes clear and the deepest calls could be
heard, and I know I must be fully engaged in the exploration of wisdom
can no longer deceive ourselves. So I told the mother since then, I no
longer work for money, I do what I really want to do things. I just
turned thirty years old that year.
Chapter V
Love trial
"Plum Blossom" and "majority of the bridge martyrs
Biography" My reputation has been performed after the high, walk
on the road even a child would call me "plum" or asked me to
sign. One day in the home of four-dimensional way Sylvia received a
phone call, she said that Don appeared last night in Yi Diya, has been
asking my phone number, but no one is willing to tell him; friends
secretly do to protect my decision. Don was when she read the American
school teacher, she said if I wanted to see him in the restaurant her
mother met Xinglin. On one hand I feel Xie Yijia enthusiastic, joys
and sorrows of the heart With one hand, agreed to the appointment.
Xinglin into the restaurant, Don has been here, he seemed more gaunt
cheeks narrower. I was seated down, the two-phase, as the silent,
after an absence of one year experience though has not changed, but
the staff had all wrong. We listened to the music inside the
restaurant, the tears of the mood in the multitude of things not stop
flowing. Don told me that since my last letter received, his life
began to disorder, not from the beer, cigarettes, hands, often at
night insomnia. He later from Laos

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