Husband and wife joke

							Husband and wife joke
You belongs to me

Each other for husband and wife quarrel, and finally her husband was
furious: "You Get out of here! Put all your things are taken
away!"

Wife tears packed his bags, again a big sack to fling her husband
said: "You get inside!"

Surprised her husband, Ji Wen: "What are you doing?"
"You are mine, quickly get inside!" His wife shouted to her
husband.




Do not touch hand




A child playing in the park, not far from his father sat on a bench,
dedicated to

Reading the newspaper.

"Look, Dad, a plane." His son shouted pointing to the sky.

"Yes ah, yes ah," My father is still immersed reading the
newspaper. "Do not hand touch him."




Life Insurance
Father and son shopping spree in the late Shangwang things go
backwards, the way a robber put young people at gunpoint: "the

Money down. "

Old man who once saved a robber, told his son: "Run."

Robber said: "You do not life the old guy friends."

"Yes, you shoot it, I have life insurance."



Heartless husband

Two women in conversation. "I do not understand how you like your
husband indifference? Said that each time wages, a point he had not
left all over you."

"You are quite right, but you do not know, he always wanted me to
play cards, take money from me minutes were ticking win back."



Between husband and wife

"Heavens! I wallet under the pillow!" "Oh, your servant
is not quite honest?"

, "Yes. But she would purse to my wife Yeah!"




Claimant

Women's car when caught off the right index finger, she sued the
company claims 1 million yuan to the car. Lawyer said to her: "I
am afraid not a one that claims so many?"

Women growled: "Why? I Nazhi finger is used to direct my husband
to!"




Not easy

Husband: "I've worked hard earned cash, how do you easily give it
used up?"
His wife: "I use the money, the mood is very tense."

Husband: "Really? Then I µ¹ÊÇ blame smb. Wrongly you, but you in
the end Naqu ×öɶ out?"

His wife: "playing mahjong."




The mother of Yama

One man, when his wife died, he was sad and asked her: "Wife
Yeah! You died, make me as a bachelor. Now while not expire before
you, ask you one sentence: You death, to remarry after the death of
one's wife told my wife, who did it? you normally have in mind this
woman? "'

His wife heard this, though, when dying, but also struggled from the
whole body, cursed angrily: "You ruthless man, I have not stop
breathing, you want added to marry. Like you ungrateful men, who a
woman willing to marry you? after your wife, must be Yama's mother no
doubt. "

Husband listened, shook his head and said: "It is not! An error
can not be wrong again. I married the daughter of King of Hell in the
first, are still married after Yama's mother do?"



Divorce
A premature end, the couple argue, with her husband to divorce his
wife Naozhao. They are the way to court, to go through a small river,
to the river, her husband will soon take off shoes and jumped into the
water. His wife stood on the shore, watched the cold water, worried
about how the past.

Husband back to the moderate he said: "I carry you over!"
The husband on his wife over the River. They had not gone far, his
wife said: "Well, let's go back!" Husband surprised and
asked: "Why?"

Head down, embarrassed his wife, said: "The divorce came back,
quasi-back I cross the river?"




The speaker has no intention
Rich brave young wife, said: "After I die you can get
married." "Do not say that." His wife replied.
"You can let him wear my clothes. These are the good material,
and exquisite workmanship." "Do not say this is
impossible." His wife explained, "at least the size of his
clothes than you The bigger size. "




From worry

A station platform, both inside and outside the train window, a
gentleman and a woman in the farewell. Start ringing, two people burst
into tears. The bus started. Gentlemen sitting around an old woman saw
that earlier scene, it ended on the tears still unknown Gentleman
wrote: "This I knew how. And the most beloved wife, is only one
second, that feeling is also the ... ... "" Yes ah, I have a
wife that is going around. "




Do not superstition

Handsome and charming ladies invited the salesperson to sit her
apartment, but soon she heard the familiar halls of her husband's
footsteps: "There is only one apartment door," she whispered
to the clerk, "you only from the window to go out. "She
pushed him to the bedroom window, ordered him:" Jump!
"" But, madam, "salesman voice hoarse," we are in
the first 13 floors upstairs. "" Jump! "his wife, under
the command again , "no time to talk superstitious!"




Fashionable reasons
"Do you know why men like lately, like keep his wife's
hair?," "Because, if your lover or his wife found a hair on
their clothes, he laughed and said: 'This is my hair!' "



Since the white
Delivery room, about to give birth to her husband, the wife said:
"I want to tell you, my double eyelid is cut, and nose Silom up,
chin is doing, so baby born like me, you do not surprised."
comfort her husband, said: "I knew it does not matter. I tell
you: My right eye is a fake tooth is loaded, the left leg is
prosthetic!"




I am sorry
Her husband is a night not returned, his wife could no longer put up
with. Early in the morning, her husband pushed open the door, the wife
with the door already prepared a stick and beat him unconscious in the
past. When he woke up an hour later, he said sorry to his wife:
"Honey, sorry, I forgot you work night shifts."