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					2 new hilarious attractiveness
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Editor's Choice
The new younger generation of new life, hot funny debut, the perfect
interpretation of fashion life comedy The Complete Works of new ideas.
Joke of the "promise more than three" were coming, animals
to gab, a child dead of child language Lei, IT elite and the devils
are in animated conversation dark humor ... ... hundreds of fight
broke joke to see who the most powerful!
This book allows you to fashion a new life exposed teeth.
Introduction
????This book is a joke set. Explosion within the belly of the best
funny jokes, including schools, military, IT industry stories, and
mine does not dead, child language made life for a life of children,
animals nonsense, crazy ghost stories, animated conversation, jokes
abound ... ... absolute fashion, the absolute life , absolute exposure
of your teeth and throat, open laugh, life is a need for happiness.
Refuses to laugh at your life for a life ... oh ...
????Note: the appropriate facial muscles to relax!
Extract and illustrations
20 new hilarious essay
1. Difference
Biology class the teacher asked: What is the difference frogs and
toads?
Mr Tan replied: frog is a conservative, sit idle: the toad is the
innovators, wants to eat.
2. Share the pain
The teacher asked the students: "how to explain 'and the people
share the pain, the pain will halve' it?"
Little London said: "If my father beat me, beat me to his
cat!"
3. Looks
Teacher arranged a question: Please use two words summed up his own
appearance. Close up examination paper, the students were the answer
to sub-categories:
Send the answer to a criticism: sometimes the right, terrible, I hate
the heavens, I think the afterlife and so on.
Realism to send the answer are: amphibians, apes his brother, ape
piracy, atavistic and so on.
Modern answers are: Seven Wonders, and asked my wife and so on.
And only a Surrealist answer is - even people.
4. More black president
Freshmen who received military training principals review.
"Good students!"
"Good President!"
"The students are working hard!"
"Serve the People!"
"The students sunburned!"
New students suddenly speechless, I do not know how to answer. After a
brief pause, a boy shouted: "The principal is more black!"
5. Syntax conversion
Teacher: "Please put 'the horse ran away' this sentence into
questions."
Little Ivan: "the horse will run?"
Teacher: "Correct! Good! Now put it into the imperative."
Little Ivan: "Gee up!"
6. No title
Roommate nearsighted, often accounting for the first row of seats,
suffered a high number of teachers to speak Spit flying, it is
difficult to resist. Day she said to me: bow high number of teachers
give lectures, the first row of the table is all wet; high number of
teachers rise of lectures, the second row of the table to all wet. I
fainted.
7. Political prisoners
Zhang angry teacher into the classroom, said sternly: "You called
me the language sheets, I put up: Teachers new to the political old
teacher, why do you call her political prisoners (Fan) it?"
8. Dormitory another name
Ray came to him with a high school students to visit college dorm
room, he pointed to the road on the left of the dormitory buildings,
said: "This is a women's dormitory area, called Weaver
galaxy." Pointing to the right side of the dormitory buildings
Road, said: "That is a male dormitory area, called the Altair
system. "and pointing to the foot of the road said:" This
road is called the Milky Way. "
At this time, female teachers in charge of student hostels by
impassively, Ray said quietly: "This is the Queen Mother."
9. Clock
University has classrooms, a problem inside the wall clock, as long as
things to be moving further and further fast knock, knock once for 5
minutes fast. Professor of class one day and found that students are
taking advantage of his time writing on the blackboard wall clock with
a rubber lost, but the professor is not quiet, it's still the bell on
the class. Not long after, the final exam to the gang is all buried
examination, I saw professors took an eraser and throw practice clock
in there.
10. Change the world
Lian Nigeria geography teacher asked: "Why did not complete the
work depicting the world map?"
Lian Nepal bow replied: "I'm afraid I draw the map will change
the world."
11. Thirst for knowledge
The teacher asked: "Children, the first person you want to know
what's up there?"
Little Ivan from the back row stood up and replied: "President.
In fact, we are more interested in how the world is out of the third
person."
12. Life Insurance
The teacher is teaching economics, talked about the insured and the
beneficiary's relationship to the image of a little more, he cited an
example: "I voted life insurance for example, one day I
unfortunately killed by a car, you wife can get compensation. She is
the beneficiary, then what am I from? "one student replied:"
dead. "
13. Beat
- Professors of intellectual precocity of a little boy said:
"Your birthday is the day?"
Answer: "April 8."
Professor said: "what year."
A: "Every year."
14. Insurance policy
Chemistry just sent down, the students struggle to see the teacher's
comments. Just listen to a pick up B's read together: When
concentrated sulfuric acid dripping onto the skin should be dry with a
cloth, then rinse with plenty of water, then towel dry, then spray on
some perfume, then coated with a layer of corn oil skin care cream.
"
Teacher instructions said: "do you still want a sauna,
massage?"
15. Take notes
Four for the test in English, we are desperate to learn English
quickly, some notes have had to do in other specialized courses. One
day, history teacher, found that the audience extremely busy life, and
wondered, then stepped down from the podium, quietly to his side view.
The student busy for a while, feel the atmosphere right, Meng rise,
see the teacher was smiling and said to him: "Do you think you
are taking notes in English faster than I remember in Chinese?"
6. Mishina
After the exam, three students from the bitter complaints come
together.
A: "I have not test language lesson, the teacher said I was
waste."
B said: "I can not keep up physical education teacher said I was
defective."
C said: "I do not pass the political class, the teacher said I
was dangerous."
17. Miu Solutions
In a language class, the teacher explained to the students,
"panic", "incomprehensible", "relief",
"always" four idioms. Coincidentally, a student is asleep.
Professor pounded his desk, the student suddenly sat up, picked up the
book they read, the teacher said: "This is panic." Then the
teacher let him answer questions, he got up and muttered a long time.
Then the teacher said: "This is incomprehensible, sit down!"
To the students a long sigh of relief and sat down. Teacher said:
"This is a relief." And the other teachers took to the
podium, and that the students and get on the ground to sleep. Meng
teacher turned around, pointed at him, said: "This is, as
always."
18. Homework
After class, the teacher Ivan said: "Let your grandfather come to
the school trip." Ivan asked the teacher: "Teacher, do not
need to call my father to come?" Teacher: "No, Ivan, Grandpa
come to tell you it. I want to tell him that his son got the wrong
answer to your homework in a lot of questions. "
19. A hundred say
Class. Stood with his back to the fire, said to the students:
"Think twice before you speak, count to at least fifty, the
important matters to a hundred." Rush to count the students, and
finally broke out spontaneously, "ninety eight, nine, one
hundred. teacher, your clothes are on fire. "
20. Flowers in full bloom
Zhou Yuan teacher asked: "an increase of angry bees to the garden
What do you mean?"
Yuan Zhou replied: "Bees steal flowers, flowers chanting
angry!"
We heard laughter. Zhou Yuan rebuttal said: "If flowers are not
angry, but where's the 'flower in full bloom' do?"
Super Dialogue
Since the dormitory equipped with telephone, we became a
"gentleman." Gentleman's tongue but not his hands, of
course, too lazy to move the legs, what do you prefer to spend the
telephone, do not want to go walk around. We have a small house Huoer
is Li Lei, a job the summer, a programmer at a web site. Yesterday, he
went to work, people call looking for him, I answered the phone. I
said Li Lei is not in the other party asked him to go home yet? I said
no, the caller said: "You tell him that I was his classmate, you
let him come back to me a call the phone number is ¡Á¡Á¡Á¡Á¡£" I took
notes down (later I learned, in fact, It is diagonally opposite
quarters over the phone, we are not too familiar with.)
Li Lei night back, I told him the phone thing, he said, calling high
school friends about it, so he calls back at the past. Li Lei Shaanxi
people call a pass he asked: "Do you have any Shaanxi it?"
Answered the phone said: "we do not have, we'd have a door, so
you will be My son, I'll give you call ... ... "Now, to hear the
corridor, shouting:" Li Lei, over the phone, you fellow! "
Li Lei froze a moment, with our third child, said housing, I used to
answer the phone, here you are staring at me, if you pass, say I'll be
back. Li Lei passed, the third pick up the phone. Not a few seconds,
which to spread "Come, come," the voice, the third son once
said: "He went out, and you Wait ah!" And then opened the
door and called: "Li Lei, talked over the phone, quickly come
back. "Li Lei was waiting there for a moment, see no reaction
hung up, back to the house took the phone from the youngest, can only
hang up after hearing the" beep "sound. "Strange!"
He said sullenly: "how is no answer it?"
Then he picked up the record number of paper dial that number again:
"do you have any Shaanxi ... ..."
Really miss you
I Liangxiaowucai with his girlfriend from childhood, and now I could
not even her house where did all know each sock, a total of twelve
pairs. During this period, she was very cruel to me, good to be rare.
A few days no, good-bye, when she lovingly looked at me, said:
"cat, I found that I really can not do without you." I'm
embarrassed to ask: "Yes, is it?" She said: " Of
course, I see you found these days, so I need you, I miss you so.
"
I certainly would not give her face, my face so red a bit symbolic.
She continued looking at me lovingly: "I worry when I get angry,
sad time in my ... ... I want to make you a special vent!"
Are the fault of hair
Sun Qing
Looked more and more campuses in the shiny bald head, I was not
tempted to live pan, and tell the truth, from small to large addition
to the full moon seen that if no greater light to his head, so for me
shaved bald very tempting.
Entered university, should be cool as a cool, bitter heart, I walked
toward the barber shop. There are a few people waiting there, the boss
said: "such a short hair, haircuts?" I said: "No, shave
my head." Boss laughed and others said: "The priority now
shave my head in five minutes to get out. "Ten minutes later I
out of the barbershop, the scalp unfettered, touch, a bit difficult to
handle. Feel like a monk, might want their last incarnation was a monk
born. Back to the hostel, dorm mates were astonished After laughing,
everyone can not help but come up a touch, said: "Well, feels
nice!" I anxiously: "go, go! To my head when the cloth a?
Who touched my head I going urgent! "
Good clear discomfort on Monday
Today, the Internet, I could not help shave my head and told my
foreign classmates.
Surprise, he even told me a joke - a girl taking a bath in the
bathroom, the family parrot yelled: see, see! Girls got angry, scolded
the parrot said: then told to pull off all your hair!
The next day, a bald man to the girls homes, the parrot flew to the
guest shoulder and asked: Hey, you see that? After the story, the
students kept on asking me, you, you do something bad?
I nearly fainted with anger ... ...
Wednesday was clear that new ideas are not
Recently flies a little depressed ... ...
Theory class this afternoon did not go on, it is very common, there
are people who go on each lesson, I am not the first time. I did not
expect, about half a lesson, the teacher glanced around and said, as
if someone cut class today, ah, did not come together ah. In the
following we call, came, came, come enough. The teacher said slowly,
baldie? I remember your class has a shaved head, and he has not come
today? Students back to tell me this, my heart ache, it seems not even
think about the future absent the ... ...
Tears ah.
Thursday, please do not be sunny anymore
Due to yesterday, today I have to go to six classes, and may be new
problems have emerged, such as what I just take a nap, and teachers,
"concern" over the eyes to Jishihaoren came immediately: the
bald students, not enough sleep? I had to lift my eyes and looked at
him. Teachers outside the system we do not know how, usually by name
or points are looked at Hua Mingce student number, the same as
winning. Who Shuidao Mei point, it all depends on luck. Now these
days, teachers do not see roster mouth to come, please the students
who head ... ...
Good Bitter.
Give a cloudy day on Thursday before
I decided not to answer the teacher pursued the question. This teacher
is just fine today, at least to be fair, does not directly point
shaved head, the old way, roster, I was relieved. "When Lee,
please answer my question." Walked the Grand Canal, and that can
point me! However, I do not want to answer, said nothing. "When
Lee arrived?" The teacher calling again, I was a little scared.
"He did not come!" I cried a voice, all the students looked
at me, eyes full of admiration. "How did not come?"
"Sick." Matter has now, just bite the bullet and support in
the end. "That's how I did not write written request for leave?
Let him come to my office this afternoon about." "Yes."
My name is brewing in the top about who helped me. "Then you have
the bald students to answer my question about it." Burst Comedy
class, the teacher was laughing a bit baffling. I did not do bad
things ah murder, arson, why make life difficult for everyone and I!
"I will not." I bite the bullet and stand up, simply Si Pin
in the end. "Not so simple? And Lee this afternoon when you come
to my office with me."
I want to live it!
Some rain on Friday to the next bar
They finally succeeded in persuading the other to management of the
bald, bald head in our class there are a total of three. My nightmare
was shared by two thirds.
I am very grateful to them, put them as friends, so today an English
class, I decided to sit with them, see the bald head, light up half
the sky and shone on the teacher's eyes. Three of us listened absently
course, when the English teacher said, please head the second row of
the second student to stand up.
I am taking a closer look, clearly his own position, reluctantly stood
up.
"1:58 I ask how to express in English?" The teacher with a
smile, do not know why though. This simple, I blurted out: "Two
to two (bald bald bald)." Then, laughing the whole class of
people lying! God, they are playing it! Students, remember the lessons
of my blood, ah, do not shave my head!

Directory
????Need funny belly burst
1. First smart
2. Man, BMW has opened it?
3. Repentance
4. Stuttering mess
5. "IP" Card
6. I am also just arrived
7. How such a smelly airplane
8. I TVU
9. Ever yellow jokes
10. Japan
11. Speed
12. Photo
13. Nanjing mayor called "River Bridge"
14. Despised and adored as a matter of fact
15. I do not shell
16. Seven of diamonds
17. Refueling
18. Carriage
19. Hunting bears
20. From memory to play
21. Dream become cows
22. Desire to get rich
23. Are the fault of Microsoft's spelling
24. Smart fight mad mistakes
25. Auto Power On
26. Pig tail
27. Blowout
28. So ashamed
29. Pipette
30. Who says I want to get off?
31. Experience
32. The most promising son
33. Support pregnant
34. Prostitute, prostitute friends
35. San Queyi
36. Narcissism, singing
37. Team coach
38. Once in the subway
39. A fire child it?
40. Fellow and car
41. Another Globe
42. For himself and life extension
43. Tickets
44. Fashionable long hair
45. Bragging home
46. As received
47. Think of youth
48 Cupid
49. Worries
????Campus crazy things
1. A spicy composition of rural young girl!
2. Funny Test
3. Classic slip of the tongue, Xiaofan you! ! !
4. Leave
5. See who is ruthless
6. A strong rules and regulations of the University of explosion
7. Funny a couple of students
8. Reason
9. Honest
10. Jesus to a child inspired
11. New Comedy Essay 20
12. Super Dialogue
13. Really miss you
14. Are the hair mess
Fifteen. Teachers the Comedy classic statement
16. The old history of China out of the exam
17. A funny students signed an agreement with the canteen
18. Report
19. Quip amazing
20. A rare calm
21. Words do not startle the primary composition
22. Embarrassing female students on campus events
23. Five-hole
24. Give change
25. Young female teacher
26. Strongest writing in English
27. School
28. Driving test
29. The eggs back to me
30. Super simple questions
31. Lucky hit
32. A clever way
33. Remember primary school life
34. Sell cattle to pay tuition
35. Understand style, Dr.
36. Hilarious short jokes (18)
????Ray childlike language
1. Encountered difficulties
2. A good way to shame the dog
3. Uncle was a dollar
4. Towel soup? Good?
5. Human Evolution
6. Just missed
7. Bought his brother used
8. Sympathy
9. Commander
10. This addition
11. Thunder
12. Lost wallet
13. Smashes the
14. Learn how to swim
15. I can swim
16. The next train on the big
17 grandchildren questions
18. Mother and Child Dialogue
19. To the adults over there
20. Come and go in the Magical
21. Unexpected answer
New classic 22 small white
23. Hilarious stories in basket
????IT Madman
1. Hackers and white funny dialogue
2. Feng District rogue code
3. Interview
4. If the same car as the development of computer
5. Rural sister in online chat
6. A MM in the forum to speak the truth
720 million Internet users
8. My Computer
9. The oldest profession
10. Proficiency Test
11. Computer Diagnosis
12. Trash
13. Partitioning a hard drive
14.ESC key
15. Wife or mistress
16. Breeding mice
????Little things that the army
1. II soldier fool
2. Herald
3. Parcel
4. Standing there not moving
5. "Is for you to the"
6. "Andie stronger than I"
7. Recruits insomnia
8. Boiled eggs
9. Wiping fingerprints
10. Do not care
11. Did not dare ask
12. Jietouanhao
13. Get too excited
14. Soldier
15. Execution results
16. Kill
17. Forefront
18. Exercise
19. Who is drunk
20. A car boot
21. To his credit
22. Than guts
23. Excuse
24. Who is the most pathetic
????Animal chatter
1. Happy little rabbit
2. The most arrogant, "dog"
3. Breeders
4. Stripped of clothes and with her dry
5. Three Wishes
6. Large dogs and puppies
7. Overtaking
8. Poor raccoon
9. Centipede cigarettes
10. Bears and tortoise
11. Assistant and horses mouth
12. Since that great
13. Thousand good horse
14. Parrot
15. Earthworms suddenly want to play football
16. Caution is the better
17. The result of negotiations
18. Rats self-worth
19. Suspected her husband was having an affair
20.Yes, Wu Nai hackers
21. Animal complaints
22. A very high IQ Parrot
23. Can you hungry
Women cheat too difficult 24
25. Is not a real daughter
26. I drink every day, ah
27. Australian flea
????Ghost crazy things
1, the complaints of three ghosts
2. Ghost Phone
3. Wisps
4. Ghost pregnant
5. Word ghost story, hilarious to attractiveness!
6. Ghost scare ghost
7. Ghost dialogue, cold!
8. Incredible
9. Slacker looking for work
10. Gambler Shangfen
????Chattering
1. Laughable to attractiveness of 25 words
2. What man would not stand the BT female boss
3. Life Quotations
4. Interview
5. Not mad after seeing strange
6. Slip of the tongue, the absolute slip of the tongue!
7. Violence problems and super cow Khan answers
8. The new 2008 on the University BBs wise Ling joke 9
9. Something about potatoes that
10. Can not explain the big misunderstanding
11. Storm fried eggs Khan
12.7 Big metamorphosis topic

				
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posted:9/28/2010
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