Control Negative Thinking
to Rebuild Your Marriage
written by: Coleta Stewart
Control Negative Thinking to Rebuild Your Marriage After Adultery
Control Negative Thinking to Rebuild Your Marriage
Being betrayed by someone you loved and trusted can feel like a train wreck. The feelings
of anger caused by hurt and deception from someone you loved with your whole heart and
soul can become unbearable at times. Emotionally healing after adultery will take super
human effort, time and patience. In order to move forward, you need to start letting go of
the negative thoughts and emotions that consume and dominate your mind on a daily basis.
To start the healing process, you first need to take control of your negative thinking and
emotions. This is easier said than done and there is no magic pill to take that is going to
make it all go away in an instant. For the sake of your own sanity, you will have to
consciously make the effort to reclaim your mind.
Right now your life after adultery maybe filled with thoughts of your cheating spouse and
his paramour. You're thinking all sorts of crazy thoughts like: is the person younger or
better looking than me or can the marriage survive the strain of infidelity? What does he or
she got that I don't have? In order to overcome such thinking, you need to recognize the
triggers, that is, patterns, times or places that trigger your mental anguish and find ways to
break the pattern
Dr. Frank Gunzburg, a noted authority on marriage and infidelity, and creator of the
program: “How to Survive an Affair,” recommends a three step process for dealing with
negative thoughts. The first step is to track your thoughts so as to develop awareness as to
when you are most likely to have more or less negative thoughts. Next is to “uncover
negative thought-loop patterns” and that is to be conscious as to when you experience these
emotions. And lastly he suggests that you find ways to “break negative thought-loop
patterns” by stopping the problem thinking and replacing it with more positive thoughts.
You can learn more about Dr. Gunzburg's program here.
Healing after adultery is not an easy process. But hang in there if you and your spouse are
committed to saving the marriage and he or she continues to reassure you, then the images
and negative thoughts will gradually decrease. Seek help to reclaim your mind and become
master of your thoughts once again.
©Copyright 2010 http://www.EmotionalAffairAdvice.com Page 2