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FROSH OFF THE BOAT Powered By Docstoc
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                     Frosh off
                     the boat

Volume 71, Issue 2
 Sept. 2–15, 2010

      gs éd
 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Amanda Shendruk | | (613) 562 5261

Disapproval and disgust

I WOULD LIKE to be the irst to express
my abject disapproval and disgust at the
                                                       have that large of an impact considering
                                                       the $30,000 salaries, free tuition, and free
                                                       cell phone services provided to them by
                                                       Federation members.
                                                                                                               tion written and printed in the Fulcrum’s
                                                                                                               following issue, noting an apology to the
                                                                                                               readers of the newspaper for printing
                                                                                                               nicknames that are inappropriate and
                                                                                                                                                             for whom? he easy answer might be for
                                                                                                                                                             students, and Mr. Rock did highlight
                                                                                                                                                             several objectives to which his admin-
                                                                                                                                                             istration was committed for the sake of
blatant misuse of student funds that was                                              Nicolas Fleet            disrespectful. Finally, should you choose     such enhancement, including the main-
perpetrated by the Student Federation of                          Fourth-year economics student                to maintain the tradition of nicknaming       tenance of current levels of payouts to
the University of Ottawa (SFUO). When                                                                          your staf and contributors, we hope that      scholarships and/or i nancial assistance.
I picked up my Ottawa Citizen today, it                Words can stigmatize                                    you will guarantee a refrain from using          Yet, such measures are hardly a com-
was made public that our “trustworthy”                 Re: Perpetuating madness since 1942                     any language which proves to stigmatize       mitment to enhancing student experi-
elected body used OUR money to hire a                  (Masthead, July 22)                                     any group of people.                          ence. hey simply disguise a commit-
bus to take some student activists to To-                                                                                                Peer Help Centre    ment to the status quo as some sort of
ronto. here is no way that this thievery
can be justiied. hey are the largest ad-
vocates on campus for cheaper tuition,
                                                       IN THE SUMMER edition of the Ful-
                                                       crum, the editors followed the newspa-
                                                       per’s long-standing tradition of nick-
                                                                                                                    Centre for Students with Disabilities
                                                                                                                                    Sustainability Centre
                                                                                                                                              Foot Patrol
                                                                                                                                                             “achievement” while raising the cost of
                                                                                                                                                             said experience to boot. What this be-
                                                                                                                                                             trays is not a commitment to students,
and they then proceed to use some of the               naming its staf and contributors. For                                         Bilingualism Centre     but to a certain type of student—namely,
money they steal from us to send a hand-               those of you who missed this edition, or                                            he Bike Coop      paying students (i.e., clients) who give
ful of students on a lovely little civil dis-          did not make it to page 19, the services of                                           Pride Centre    money to the university, demand little                       Collect them all,
obedience ield trip. It may be a relatively            the Student Federation of the University                                      International House     in return, and, hence, deserve what the
small amount, but even a dollar is too                 of Ottawa (SFUO) believe that the Ful-                                  Women’s Resource Centre       university has been ofering for years                        then trade!       6–7
much for me. he entire body, especially                crum’s thematic use of terms, which can                             he Mental Health Campaign         anyhow (though at inlated cost).
Tyler Steeves and the treasurer, should be             and have been used to describe individu-                                                                 In short, student workers at this uni-
ashamed of themselves.                                 als with mental health issues, was both                 Allan Rock’s austerity                        versity have become what the middle
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          he Fulcrum presents
                               James Wood              inappropriate and ofensive.                                                                           class are nationally and internationally—                    your SFUO and GSAED
              Fourth-year history student                 For example, the use of adjectives such              LABOUR DISPUTES ARE messy busi-               a relatively stable and easy-going sec-                      student reps as handy
                                                       as “mental,” “demented,” and “psycho”                   ness, especially for working students.        tion of the populace whose wages can be
Polite larceny                                         stigmatizes individuals dealing with very               Contracts with professors are short and       systematically gouged through a series
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          playing cards
Re: SFUO sends bus to G20 (News, July 22)              real mental health issues. By using poten-              departments are small, so why cause a         of cherry-picking “austerity measures.”
                                                       tially discriminatory language such as                  fuss? Better to play the hand you’re dealt    h is is what the ROP really is—a set of
THE ABUSE OF funds allocated to stu-                   this, you delegitimize the quality of your              and hope for glowing letters of recom-        policies designed to put money back
dent services that were instead used to                newspaper while also illustrating a dis-                mendation when you hit the job market.        in the hands of the iscal leaders whose                      State of the Gee-
transport 50 people to protest in Toronto              regard for your audience. Since students                    h is is precisely the sort of rationale   failed leadership has elicited conditions
is appalling.                                          on our campus face a variety of mental                  the Allan Rock administration is bank-        for recession in the i rst place. Student                    Gee nation 14–15
    he Student Federation of the Univer-               health concerns, the theme you have cho-                ing on from its student workers. Looking      workers, so the Rock administration’s
sity of Ottawa’s (SFUO) President Tyler                sen may be interpreted as a trivialization              to i nance its 2010–11 budget deicit, the     reasoning goes, just want to get their de-                   Jaehoon Kim analyzes the
Steeves has been unapologetic through-                 of mental health issues.                                Rock administration has decided to pass       grees and get out; many are even grate-
out this polite larceny—one founded on                    As writers and editors, we hope you                  its shortfall on to working students. he      ful for any i nancial help, and therefore                    upcoming varsity sports
the faith that Federation bill-payers will             would understand that language houses                   math is simple: a 4.3 per cent tuition hike   unlikely to cause a fuss. Who better to                      season
eventually beneit from the presence of                 a signiicant degree of power. While we                  and a 0 per cent increase in wages means      gouge, then, when times get tough?
those mystery 50 at the G20 and G8 pro-                do not know the context in which this                   that the university is taking more and                                       Amir Khan
tests in Toronto.                                      theme was chosen, using loaded vocabu-                  paying out less, thus reducing its deicit        Department of English PhD Candidate
    When his attention has returned to                 lary and labels such as “deranged” or                   by dipping into the real wages and sav-                                                                    Burlesque circus 17
tangibly improving student life, I look                “senile” can generally be interpreted as                ings of its student workers.
forward to his answering these four                    not only an insult, but as a way of isolat-                 Student workers at the University of               Got something to say?
questions. Since the budgets for the Foot              ing individuals. Furthermore, by using                  Ottawa, however, are represented by the                          Send your letters to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          101 Week gets new sexy
Patrol, Women’s Resource Centre, Pride                 language like this in a casual setting you              Canadian Union of Public Employees                                           and artistic event on the
Centre, and Student Appeals Centre were                are perpetuating a cycle that associates a              (CUPE) 2626. Yet, Allan Rock has man-                    Letters deadline: Sunday at 1 p.m.                program
raided:                                                negative perception with mental health                  aged to convince himself that because          Letters must be under 400 words unless discussed with
    1) How many students will go without               issues and individuals who have mental                  the collective agreement between stu-                            the editor-in-chief.
safe walks to their homes this year?                   health concerns. While it is common to                  dent workers and the university expires               Drop of letters at 631 King Edward Ave.
    2) How many women will go without                  say something such as “I have had a crazy               this year, student workers represented by                or email
self-defence workshops and peer listen-                day,” which is considered appropriate                   CUPE 2626 are no longer “unionized,”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          New Shaap              19
                                                                                                                                                             Letters must include your name, telephone number, year,
ing/referral for crises?                               in most contexts, it crosses a line when                even though they continue to pay union          and program of study. Pseudonyms may be used ater
    3) How many hours of outreach, advo-               these terms are used to describe people.                dues. How else can he justify unilaterally    consultation with the editor-in-chief. We correct spelling
                                                                                                                                                              and grammar to some extent. he Fulcrum will exercise
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Ottawa record store tries
cacy, and equity work will have to be cut                  Another point to consider is that this              imposing a wage freeze on student sala-
from the Pride Centre?                                 use of vocabulary is counter-productive                 ries before agreeing to a new collective
                                                                                                                                                                discretion in printing letters that are deemed racist,
                                                                                                                                                                               homophobic, or sexist.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          to avoid curse
    4) How many students sufering aca-                 to the Mental Health Campaign, which is                 agreement?
                                                                                                                                                              We will not even consider hate literature or libellous
demic injustices will be turned away                   being promoted both by multiple SFUO                        he usual bargaining etiquette in the       material. he editor-in-chief reserves the authority on
from the Student Appeals Centre due to                 services and the University of Ottawa.                  time between agreements is to honour                        everything printed herein.
lack of staf ?                                         With that, one of the ongoing mandates                  the commitments of the previous agree-                                                                     Meaningful
    Students will not cease to be out-                 of this campaign is to work towards de-                 ment until a new settlement is reached.
raged until the money is back where it                 stigmatizing mental health issues and                   Certainly Allan Rock, by imposing his                                                                      connection             23
belongs—serving students’ needs on our                 this section of the Fulcrum does the exact              Resource Optimization Plan (ROP) on
campus. I suggest the bill for the bus ride            opposite.                                               students before sitting down with them
be footed by the SFUO execs themselves,                   As a means of acknowledging how this                 at the bargaining table, has little regard
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Hisham Kelati takes a trip
who could in turn collect it from those                choice of language has been interpreted                 for such etiquette.                                                                                        into the dark and dirty
who were on the bus. $1,000 divided                    as ofensive, we request this issue be                       h is is odd because the irst stated ob-                                                                world of Chatroulette
among them works out to approximately                  discussed among your editors. Further-                  jective of the ROP is to “enhance the Uni-
$167 per exec, which surely wouldn’t                   more, we look forward to seeing a retrac-               versity experience,” though one wonders,
 Advertising Department                                        Board of Directors                                                                                                                                         characters             25
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5 MINUTES a day is all it takes!                     24th - 28th
 NEWS EDITOR Katherine DeClerq | | (613) 562 5260

U of O alumna
rises to stardom
Lisa Laflamme takes over for icon-
ic Lloyd Robertson as the face of
Canadian news
Katherine DeClerq | Fulcrum Staff              ever was happening internationally. hen
                                               I got another job in radio ... on a Saturday
THE COUNTRY WATCHED in awe                     night the TV reporter called in sick. I had
as Lloyd Robertson, CTV’s lead news            just done the radio shit from 4 a.m. to
anchor of 35 years, announced his plan         noon and the assignment editor looked
to step down from the news desk. In re-        at me and said “Lalamme, you’ve got to
sponse, on July 9, Lisa Lalamme, long-         work tonight.” I had never done a televi-
time ield reporter and regular i ll-in         sion story in my life. he very i rst story I
anchor, was appointed the new persona          covered was a psychic fair.
of Canada’s national news. A University
of Ottawa alumnus, Lalamme’s passion           How do you feel about taking over for
                                                                                                                                                                   I learned a lot
for journalism has led her through war         Lloyd Robertson?                                                                                                  by the freedom
zones, elections, natural disasters, and       hat is the most daunting thing. I mean,
the world Olympics. Having worked for          35 years—I have watched this man since                                                                          [the University of
CTV since 1988, Lalamme was an ideal           I was in grade 6. And it is at times sur-
candidate to replace Robertson. he Ful-        real because it is [Robertson], and he is an                                                                   Ottawa] gave me.
crum was given an opportunity to speak
with Lalamme about her experience and
                                               icon in this country. I know this is cliché,
                                               but I feel honoured ... he has been here for
                                                                                                                                                              And I carried that
the series of events that took her from a
university radio station to the news an-
                                               so many years and he is CTV news to a
                                               large degree.
                                                                                                                                                               with me through
chor of CTV National.                                                                                                                                             the work force
                                               Where do you think journalism, specifi-
The Fulcrum: What did you study                cally broadcasting, will be in the future?                                                                        —the notion of
at the University of Ottawa?                   Especially with this hype over social me-
Lisa Lalamme: I studied communica-             dia and the “dying industries”?                                                                                  “well sure, if you
tion. I knew I wanted to be a journalist,
but I wanted to go to a school that was
                                               I think there will always be a use for it,
                                               particularly here in Canada. We are a
                                                                                                                                                              think you can dig
bilingual. hat is why I chose the Univer-
sity of Ottawa.
                                               country of news junkies. When people
                                               say that television is a dying industry, I
                                                                                                                                                              something up, go
                                               kind of laugh because we get 1.5 million                                                                                      do it.
Were you involved in campus life at all?       viewers every night ... he real question
Were you involved with any student             is what can the last news cast of the day
newspapers?                                    bring to the table, to give you another
I did write a few things for the Fulcrum,      layer that you wouldn’t have found in a
but mostly I worked for CFUO [now              headline on Google News. I think that is
called CHUO]. hat was where I seemed           what we do ... we provide context and I
to really tap into something. I used to        think that will never die.
love ... going to the National Arts Centre
whenever someone I liked or was a fan of       Is it important for students to listen/
was coming and just interview people. I        watch/read the news?
had a show called “Culture Bunker” and         Absolutely! First of all, I can’t even re-
another called “Stop Praying.” It was a lot    member a time in my own life when
of fun.                                        I wasn’t reading the newspaper or in
                                               touch with what was happening. I think
Why did you choose to go into journal-         it makes us rounded [people]—knowing
ism?                                           not just what is happening on campus,
I don’t ever remember a time where I           but in the city where the school is ... It is
thought [journalism] wasn’t what I want-       critical, critically important for people to
ed to do. I was writing my entire life. I      broaden their horizons and not just look
remember writing stories as a kid, and I       at their own tiny little piece of earth.
know for sure that in grade 9, when you
had to tell your guidance counsellor what      What advice would you give young com-
you wanted to be when you grew up, I           munication students at the U of O?
said I wanted to be a journalist. I have al-   he best advice I could give is stick with
ways loved telling people stories.             it, because in 1988 when I graduated there
                                               were mass layofs in the industry and it
How did you start your career?                 looked like you were crazy if you went
I started when I graduated. he only            into [journalism] ... his is a weird busi-
experience I had was the university ra-        ness and... if you love it, you stick with it.
dio stations, and I thought I ... would        he advice is: Don’t be discouraged too
get a job right away. But it doesn’t work      quickly. It is worth it. It is an important
that way. he only job I could get when         business to relect honestly the world
I graduated was four hours on a Sunday         around us. Stick with it and don’t give up. f    Posing for the Camera
and Saturday taking time codes out of a                                                         U of O alumna Lisa Lalamme is CTV’s newly appointed anchor.
TV station in Kitchener-Waterloo and           For more of Lalamme’s interview with the
writing 15-second copy stories on what-        Fulcrum, check out                                                                                          photo courtesy CTV

   | Sept. 2–15, 2010                                                | Sept. 2–15, 2010

  Presenting                                                                                                      Position: Student Life Commissioner,
                                                                                                                  Graduate Student Association

                                                                                                                  Name one thing you want to accomplish

                                                                                                                  this year: he biggest project I want to
                                                                                                                  get done is the student referendum for
                                                                                                                  the new student centre. I was part of that
                                                                                                                  in my irst mandate, and I came back for
                                                                                                                  my second mandate to see the project

trading cards                                                                                                     If you could teach your own university
                                                                                                                  class, what would you teach: Event Plan-
                                                                                                                  ning 101.

Trade with your friends
                                                                                                                  What cartoon character would you com-
                                                                                                                  pare yourself to, and why: Wile E. Coyote.
                                                                                                                  He’s always got these plans that are really
                                                                                                                  out there and sometimes it seems like it’s

and collect them all!
                                                                                                                  going to work, sometimes it doesn’t. But
                                                                                                                  he’s very creative—and he keeps coming

Briana Hill | Fulcrum Staff

                                                   Position: External Afairs Commissioner,                        Position: University Afairs Commis-
                                                   Graduate Student Association                                   sioner, Graduate Student Association

                                                   Name one thing you want to accomplish                          Name one thing you want to accomplish
                                                   this year: Graduate issues such as “open ac-                   this year: To ensure the rights of the stu-
                                                   cess,” “commercialization,” and “intellectual                  dents at the university are protected.
                                                   property” need to be made sexier to draw
                                                   students in and increase engagement.                           If you could teach your own university
                                                                                                                  class, what would you teach: I think that
                                                   If you could teach your own university                         one of my biggest dreams would be to
                                                   class, what would you teach: A class on so-                    have a university class based on environ-
                                                   cial movements and education. Looking at                       mental philosophy.
                                                   how these things came to be, why they ex-
                                                   ist, and what their results have been as [they]                What cartoon character would you
                                                   vary from one province or country to an-                       compare yourself to, and why: I’d say
                                                   other.                                                         Brain [from Pinky and the Brain]. Not
                                                                                                                  necessarily on the Machiavelli side, but I
                                                   What cartoon character would you com-                          think that having projects that are huge
                                                   pare yourself to, and why: To take a recent                    and over the top—wanting to devote
                                                   example, I’d say I’m like Scott Pilgrim ... in                 myself 100 per cent to one project ... that
                                                   that, even in the face of incredible adversity,                would be the one.
                                                   I am ready to ight for our rights—although
                                                   probably without the cool sword.

                                                   Position: Finance Commissioner, Graduate                       Position: Internal Commissioner, Grad-
                                                   Student Association                                            uate Student Association

                                                   Name one thing you want to accomplish                          Name one thing you want to accom-
                                                   this year: Transparent practices with struc-                   plish this year: Increase participation
                                                   tured accountability. Also, break-even of the                  of graduate students in GSAÉD. hat
                                                   Café.                                                          means people at a general assembly, peo-
                                                                                                                  ple at councils, increasing the number of
                                                   If you could teach your own university                         people who attend, increasing the num-
                                                   class, what would you teach: Accounting or                     ber of observers.
                                                   statistics. Having facilitated and TAed in the
                                                   past, [I] i nd numbers very grounding and                      If you could teach your own university
                                                   irm.                                                           class, what would you teach: As a joke,
                                                                                                                  organizational management. he irony
                                                   What cartoon character would you com-                          of me, who I’d say is not very well or-
                                                   pare yourself to, and why: Scrooge. Just a                     ganized, more of a procrastinator ... it
                                                   little too focused on the budget line. Tough                   would be like the shoemaker’s son who’s
                                                   for me to get outside the numbers.                             poorly shod.

                                                                                                                  What cartoon character would you
                                                                                                                  compare yourself to, and why: Eeyore.
                                                                                                                  I can be really melancholic, but I do dei-
                                                                                                                  nitely have a joking, teasing side. Either
                                                                                                                  that or Wolverine, for reasons related to
photos and card design by Alex Martin                                                                             build and hair.

                                        Find the rare Allan Rock card! Hint: check out the sports section.
      6 news | Month ##–Month. ##, 2010                             | Sept. 2–15, 2010

                             Position: President, Student Federation of               Position: VP University Afairs, Student Fed-
                             the University of Ottawa                                 eration of the University of Ottawa

                             Name one thing you want to accomplish                    Name one thing you want to accomplish this
                             this year: Create an online calendar that                year: Improving the Rabaska system to in-
                             is fantastic. All events, academic dates,                clude features like a waiting list and easier
                             information pertinent to students, all in                scheduling.
                             one place, accurate, and up to date.
                                                                                      If you could teach your own university class,
                             If you could teach your own university                   what would you teach: POL4300: City politics
                             class, what would you teach: I’m torn be-                in Canada.
                             tween Finding Your Passion 101 and Fol-
                             lowing Your Passion 102.                                 What cartoon character would you compare
                                                                                      yourself to, and why: Rupert Bear. He’s ad-
                             What cartoon character would you com-                    venturous, honorable, and inquisitive—
                             pare yourself to, and why: Curious George,               three traits that should be admired. What’s
                             because we both have brown hair.                         more, he has fantastical adventures and still
                                                                                      gets home in time for tea.

                             Position: VP Social, Student Federation of               Position: VP Student Afairs, Student Fed-
                             the University of Ottawa                                 eration of the University of Ottawa

                             Name one thing you want to accomplish                    Name one thing you want to accomplish this
                             this year: I would like to double the                    year: Provide more resources to clubs.
                             amount of participation for Winter Chal-
                             lenge.                                                   If you could teach your own university class,
                                                                                      what would you teach: Defence against the
                             If you could teach your own univer-                      Dark Arts.
                             sity class, what would you teach: I would
                             teach a class called “How to take over the               What cartoon character would you compare
                             world.”                                                  yourself to, and why: I would say Pikachu
                                                                                      because I like adventures, am a loyal friend,
                             What cartoon character would you com-                    and aspire to one day shoot lightning from
                             pare yourself to, and why: he Brain                      my cheeks.
                             (From Pinky and he Brain), so I could
                             teach my class!

                             Position: VP Communications, Student Fed-
                             eration of the University of Ottawa                      Position: VP Finance, Student Federation of
                                                                                      the University of Ottawa
                             Name one thing you want to accomplish this
                             year: I strive to create a student experience,           Name one thing you want to accomplish this
                             where whether you study on the north side,               year: Create free income tax clinics led by
                             south side, Lees, or RGN, you are aware and              students, for students.
                             have access to all the services the SFUO pro-
                             vides.                                                   If you could teach your own university class,
                                                                                      what would you teach: Sustainable transpor-
                             If you could teach your own university class,            tation.
                             what would you teach: I would teach public
                             speaking.                                                What cartoon character would you compare
                                                                                      yourself to, and why: Alice in Wonderland.
                             What cartoon character would you compare                 She is a strong, determined, female warrior
                             yourself to, and why: I would be the original            who is curious and believes a better world is
                             Rogue of X-Men. Not only do I adore her                  possible.
                             southern accent, [but] Rogue always looks
                             out for her X-Mates.

                                                                                                                  news 7
  | Sept. 2–15, 2010

Campus candidate
competes in mayoral race
                                                                                                                                                                between the lines
                                                                                                                                                                Katherine DeClerq
                                                                                                                                                                News Editor
U of O student hopes to win on a fund-less campaign

                                                                                               Carleton student also                     Taking risks
                                                                                                                                         won’t kill you
                                                                                               participates in
                                                                                               municipal election
                                                                                               CHARLIE TAYLOR, AN Ottawa
                                                                                               native from Westboro, is running
                                                                                               for his i rst elected position in the     GREETINGS FROSHIES! IT is the                 Ater the i rst few weeks of volun-
                                                                                               municipal government. A fourth-           beginning of a new academic year,          teering, I decided that I really liked
                                                                                               year journalism student at Carleton       and I would like to welcome you            journalism. In fact, I liked it so much
                                                                                               University, Taylor decided to run for     all to the University of Ottawa. he        that I went on to become news edi-
                                                                                               mayor in order to bring fresh ideas       transition between high school and         tor two years later. Since then, I have
                                                                                               to the table—ideas that he believes       university is a daunting one, but have     had the opportunity to talk with
                                                                                               would not be presented otherwise.         no doubt—it will be the best year of       some great Canadians—Rick Mercer
                                                                                               As his candidacy slogan states, he        your life.                                 and Lisa Lalamme being just two of
                                                                                               wants to bring a “breath of fresh air”       If I could ofer you a single piece of   them—and have met some incred-
                                                                                               to politics.                              advice, it would be to take risks. Your    ible people who are now my closest
                                                                                                   “here’s no candidate that I would     irst year is all about experimenta-        friends.
                                                                                               throw my own support behind,” ex-         tion—and no, I’m not talking about            I am not saying this to encourage
                                                                                               plained Taylor. “Obviously I do not       drugs and sex. High school was all         you to join our distinguished student
                                                                                               have the recognition that the four        about sticking with your friends and       paper—unless you feel so inclined—
                                                                                               major candidates have and, as such,       getting good grades. You were expect-      but rather to prove that taking a few
                                                                                               I might be a long shot to win, but I      ed to act a certain way and believe in     chances can be life-altering. If you
                                                                                               think it’s possible to play a valuable    similar ideals.                            decide to just go to class and return
                                                                                               role in an election campaign even if         Well, in university, you have an        home at the end of every day, you will
                                                                                               you don’t end up winning.”                amazing opportunity to grow out-           i nd that you have missed out on a
                                                                                                   Taylor feels there are many issues    side the realm of academia and break       world of possibilities.
                                                                                               that need to be addressed during his      away from that high school brainwash.         I encourage you all to take charge
                                                                                               campaign, an example being the U-         here are no parents or teachers scold-     of your own life and be true to your-
Potential mayor of Ottawa                                       photo courtesy Eric Romolock   Pass—an initiative adopted at Car-        ing you for your choices. You can do       self. Oppose a professor if you believe
U of O student and mayoral candidate Eric Romolock is pictured above with his cat.             leton this year.                          whatever you want, and try things you      him/her to be wrong, walk over to
                                                                                                   “[he U-Pass is] one that I have       have never had the chance to do.           the Student Federation of the Uni-
                                                                                               been working on a lot. Students are          hat, my irst-years, is how you will     versity of Ottawa oices to talk about
Dani-Elle Dube | Fulcrum Contributor             “I don’t like waste … All the overtime        coming back to school and realizing       discover who you are, and who you          your concerns, or attend a protest
                                              that the city pays in [working] staf could       they have to buy a rather expensive       want to be.                                for a cause you believe in. Don’t just
A UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa student                be going towards giving someone a new            bus pass as a condition of gradua-           I realize this all sounds cliché. In    follow the herd like you did in high
may make his mark in municipal politics       job, even if it is just a part-time job.”        tion. A lot of students who don’t take    my i rst year, everyone kept telling       school. University is all about mak-
on Oct. 25. Eric Romolock, a third-year          Romolock’s vision for Ottawa’s future         transit … they’re shocked that they’re    me I had to get more involved. I was       ing your own decisions and breaking
political science student at the U of O, is   also includes an art-friendly atmosphere.        forced to pay the $290 fee,” said Tay-    skeptical of this advice, as I am sure     the mould of immaturity. It is time to
one of the youngest mayoral candidates        He hopes to provide more space for street        lor.                                      you are now. How can being more            get a life—a real one!
to enter the election this year. As a stu-    artists, high school theatre programs,               “hey feel like they’re being          involved on campus make any dif-              And with that, I challenge you all
dent, he is holding a unique fund-free        and local festivals.                             robbed by the university.”                ference in my life?                        to try something new this year. Take
campaign geared towards young citizens           “As a city, you can only really provide           An active member of the commu-           Well, let me tell you a short story:    a risk… you never know where it will
invested in social change.                    the tools. I want to provide more space          nity, Taylor has participated in Camp     ater much consideration in my irst         take you.
   “I want to bring new ideas to the ta-      for artists. here are all these sports           Day for Tim Hortons, and has played       year, I decided to walk through the
ble, get votes, and hopefully have people     centres, but nothing for arts,” explained        a role in organizing student protests     Fulcrum doors and ill out a volunteer      
looking at the city diferently by the end     Romolock. “Festival-wise, it’s up to the         against the U-Pass. His next initia-      application—just for the hell of it.                    (613) 562 5260
[of the] election,” said Romolock.            people to decide what they want. It would        tive is “Cycle for South March,” a ral-
   Although Romolock stated that he has       be nice if they’d want to start new [festi-      ly taking place Aug. 22 from 1 p.m.–4
no previous leadership experience, he be-     vals] and have them be successful.”              p.m. to support the conservation of
lieves he can compete with the rest of the       In addition, Romolock wants to be-            the South March Highlands.            f
candidates through his platform, which        gin a series of green initiatives that will
strongly promotes the issue of transit af-    address the city’s environmental con-
fordability and accessibility.                cerns.
   “he cost [of the U-Pass] is quite a bit       “I would like to work with the [Na-
for the services given … I’m all for en-      tional Capital Commission], perhaps
couraging the use of city transportation,     having incentives for people to keep trees
but the fact that it’s forced upon every-     on their property through taxes.”
body is something I don’t really agree           Romolock has refused to pay for any
with.”                                        advertising, nor is he accepting mon-
   Romolock also believes that promot-        etary donations. He hopes to get himself
ing alternative modes of transportation,      and his ideas to voters in more creative
such as bicycling, will encourage a more      ways by using social media and word of
environmentally friendly city. In order to    mouth.
do so, Romolock would create more bike           “here is a lot of money spent on cam-
lanes and buttons for bicycles at traic       paigns that could be better used than be-
lights.                                       ing spent on polls, phone calls, and one-
   Repairing the iscal responsibility of      time use signs,” explained Romolock. “I
the city is another issue addressed by        think that all that money could be used
Romolock’s campaign; he wants to create       more wisely by being given to charity, it
new jobs.                                     would have a longer impact.               f

    8 news
SPORTS EDITOR Jaehoon Kim | | (613) 562 5231

Showing promise
                                                                                                                                               The Fulcrum’s must-see game of the week

Star transfer Jenna Gilbert ineligible to play at season’s start
Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff
                                                                                                                                             Men’s football, against Western
                                                                                                                                             Sept. 6 at 1 p.m.
ON AUG. 18, the University of Ottawa
women’s basketball team was dealt a
devastating blow to its starting lineup.                                                                                                     Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff                the results of the game should serve as
h ird-year transfer forward Jenna Gil-                                                                                                                                                  an accurate sign of how good the Gee-
bert’s application for immediate playing                                                                                                     IN THE LAST few years, the Gee-            Gees can be in 2010.
eligibility was rejected. As a result, Gil-                                                                                                  Gees and the University of Western            “I think there’s dei nitely a bit of
bert will not be allowed to oicially suit                                                                                                    Ontario (UWO) Mustangs have en-            a rivalry between [Western and Ot-
up for the Gee-Gees until Nov. 23.                                                                                                           gaged in more than a few epic battles,     tawa]. Western is always a competitive
    Later in the day, the University of Ten-                                                                                                 especially in the post-season.             team and it’s going to give us a better
nessee at Martin (UTM) Skyhawks and                                                                                                             Unfortunately for Gee-Gee fans,         indication where we stand ater we
the Gees were scheduled to engage in a                                                                                                       too many games ended with Western          play them,” Asselin explained.
formal exhibition match at Montpetit                                                                                                         beating Ottawa in a heartbreaking             When asked for the keys to a Gees’
Hall. Instead, four organized scrimmages                                                                                                     fashion. Most memorably, the Gees’         victory against Western, Asselin men-
of 10 minutes were played ater an agree-                                                                                                     perfect regular season in 2007 was ru-     tioned that his team has to win the
ment was struck between Ottawa and                                                                                                           ined by a shocking 23-16 home playof       turnover battle and stay disciplined.
their National Collegiate Athletic Asso-                                                                                                     loss to the Mustangs, and in the fol-         In last year’s home opener—inci-
ciation (NCAA) opponent.                                                                                                                     lowing year, Ottawa was on the losing      dentally, a loss against Western—the
    “Before the game started, [Skyhawks]                                                                                                     side of a 31-17 result in the Yates Cup.   Gees were penalized 18 times for an
coach [Kevin] McMillan told me that                                                                                                             h is season marks a new chapter         astounding 151 yards, and a repeat
he’d rather play us in a scrimmage game                                                                                                      in Western’s football program his-         of that performance will likely lead
than to play a group of girls not at [full                                                                                                   tory—for the i rst time in ive years,      to defeat once again. By reducing the
strength],” explained Gees head coach                                                                                                        the Mustangs’ ofence will be led by        amount of penalties, the Gee-Gees
Andy Sparks.                                                                                                                                 someone other than Michael Faulds,         should have a better chance to unleash
    Despite the setback, Gilbert domi-                                                                                                       the all-time Canadian Interuniversity      their proliic ofensive weapons, both
nated early in the i rst scrimmage, even                                                                                                     Sport (CIS) career passing leader.         on the ground and through the air.
displaying her outside range by drilling a                                                                                                      With the Gee-Gees returning all            “Well, we can’t be worse than last
couple of three-pointers. hanks to Gil-                                                                                                      but three of their starting players,       year. We’re going [to] be better in the
bert’s all-around play, the Gees outscored                                                                                                   a loss in the home opener on Sept. 6       disciplinary issue, and that’s the bot-
the Skyhawks 23-20 in the i rst frame of                                                                                                     would be highly disappointing. Still,      tom line,” declared Asselin.
scrimmage action.                                                                                                                            UWO has one of the most respected             Attendance at men’s football home
    Another highlight for Ottawa was                                                                                                         head coaches in the business, Greg         openers is traditionally strong, with
the level of composure demonstrated by                                                                                                       Marshall, and they will attempt to         last season’s match against Western
the rookies who played together for the                                                                                                      make another run at the Yates Cup          drawing 5,120 fans. Once again, the
irst time. hough some of the returning                                                                                                       this year.                                 Gee-Gees are hoping for a vocal fan
veterans were rusty, the Gee-Gees’ new                                                                                                          “I think [Western] has proven, in       base to show up to Frank Clair Sta-
recruiting class certainly held their own                                                                                                    the past, to be one of the best teams      dium on Labour Day at 1 p.m.
against the NCAA-calibre opponents.                                                                                                          in the Ontario University Athletics           “I think for the last three years
    “I think the young kids did a good job                                                                                                   (OUA). I know they’re losing their         we’ve had a nice crowd at the home
for us. I liked what [Cyr, Nolette, and                                                                                                      quarterback and a couple of their          openers and for us, that’s huge. I’m
Kaneda] did in their i rst game tonight.                                                                                                     key veterans, but they’re going to be      looking forward to another big crowd
here were a lot of girls that stepped up                                                                                                     a good team. hey’re dei nitely well-       this year against Western. It’ll be a
and that was certainly positive,” said                                                                                                       coached and we’re going to have to         good game to watch, for sure.”
Sparks.                                                                                                                                      be ready,” said Gee-Gees head coach
    Of all the i rst-years, point guard Em-                                                                                                  Jean-Philippe Asselin.                     Final Verdict:
ilie Cyr impressed the most during the                                                                                                          Due to the teams’ past history, the        Gee-Gees overcome a feisty Mus-
night, with her crisp passing and ability                                                                                                    upcoming matchup represents an op-         tangs squad and win by a touchdown,
to score when given the chance. Cyr i n-                                                                                                     portunity for Ottawa to exact revenge      rewarding the home crowd for their
ished with nine points, four assists, and                                                                                                    on its opponents. More importantly,        loyal support.                    f
four rebounds in 16 minutes of play in
the four scrimmages. She showed her
enthusiasm for the Gee-Gees program                                                                                                            All-time record against Western
in a post-game interview with the Ful-                                                                                photo by Alex Martin
crum.                                          Gees battle hard against NCAA foe                                                               (including regular season and playoffs): 4-8
    “It was very exciting to play tonight.     Ottawa guard Awo Farah faces a tough UTM defender
It’s an honour for me to play for [Ottawa].                                                                                                    Last five regular season games            Last three playoff games
I love the Gee-Gees, I love coach Sparks,      did. We had a group out there that played    starts and for those girls to get some ac-         against Western                          against Western
and the teammates are great, too,” said        well together in the third quarter, but I    tion. As for our goals, we think that we’re
                                                                                                                                               Sept. 6, 2009: Western wins, 32-         2008 OUA Yates Cup: Western
Cyr with a smile.                              thought Ottawa outplayed us in every         going to have a chance to be in the NCAA
                                                                                                                                               17 @ Ottawa (Home opener)                wins, 31-17 @ Western
    Overall, the Gees outscored UTM in         other [scrimmage set],” said McMillan.       tournament [this season],” McMillan                Sept. 1, 2008: Western wins, 35-         2007 OUA Semi-final: Western
three of the four scrimmage periods—but           For the Skyhawks, a team that i nished    said.                                              31 @ Western (Season opener)             wins, 23-16 @ Ottawa
the Skyhawks would have been victorious        11-19 last year in the Ohio Valley Confer-      Sparks remained upbeat about the sea-           Sept. 15, 2007: Ottawa wins, 35-         2005 OUA Semi-final: Western
70-65 had it been an actual match.             ence, the Gee-Gees ofered a tough test       son despite the disappointing news con-            30 @ Western                             wins, 18-10 @ Western
    McMillan had many compliments for          for their extremely young squad. Both        cerning Gilbert.                                   Sept. 3, 2006: Ottawa wins, 17-3
the Canadian hosts, but was unhappy            teams are hoping that this unique experi-       “It was a good opportunity for our              @ Ottawa (Home opener)
with his team’s efort—a night ater they        ence will help them earn a berth in their    girls to play together against a very              Oct. 15, 2005: Ottawa wins in
destroyed the Carleton Ravens 96-57 in a       respective national tournaments.             good team. For a controlled scrimmage,             overtime, 27-24 @ Ottawa
separate exhibition game.                         “We’ve got 12 rookies that have never     I think it showed us where we could be
    “I thought we weren’t as physical as       played before. It’s phenomenal for us to     later on in the year. I think we’re going to
Ottawa was. hey played harder than we          have this experience before the season       be fun to watch.”                          f
   | Sept. 2–15, 2010

Life of a rookie student-athlete
First-year guard Johnny Berhane eager to start university life
Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff                      It was tough because I had to make ev-                                                                                                   know what my priorities [are] and also
                                                 erything it with nine basketball prac-                                                                                                   know when to relax and have fun. Obvi-
FACED WITH THE challenge of replac-              tices a week. Next year, I’m going to do                                                                                                 ously my academics come i rst but bas-
ing a pair of graduated star players—Josh        it earlier so I can have better courses in                                                                                               ketball is important as well, so I have to
Gibson-Bascombe and Donnie Gibson—               better slots.                                                                                                                            make sure I manage all that. I’m going to
the University of Ottawa men’s basketball                                                                                                                                                 try to not stress out and not leave things
team has added seven solid recruits for          What are you looking forward to in                                                                                                       to the last minute.
the new season. Shooting guard Johnny            terms of the academic side of attending
Berhane—a local product from Lester B.           university?                                                                                                                              Name one thing you want to accom-
Pearson high school—is an important              I’m interested in my courses so I’ll be                                                                                                  plish in the next four or five years of
component of the Gees’ recruiting class.         looking forward to going to my classes                                                                                                   university?
Berhane, who led his high school team to         everyday. Meeting new people will be a                                                                                                   I want to maintain a high grade point av-
a city championship this past February,          nice experience too. It’s deinitely going                                                                                                erage, for myself and for my family—to
is striving to become an ideal student-          to be a diferent environment since I’m                                                                                                   make them proud. I eventually [want]
athlete: excelling both on the court and         going to go to class and see 200 people,                                                                                                 to win a Canadian Interuniversity Sport
in the classroom. he Fulcrum recently            as opposed to going to class and seeing                                                                                                  (CIS) championship; it’s a big goal.
sat down with the economics major to             30 students [in high school].
discuss frosh-related issues.                                                                                                                                                             How excited are you for the CIS season to
                                                 What other aspects of university life                                                                                                    get underway?
The Fulcrum: Why did you choose the              are you looking forward to?                                                                                                              I’m excited. I know I’m a young guy com-
University of Ottawa as your post-sec-           he basketball aspect will be fun [espe-                                                                                                  ing in and there are a lot of things that I
ondary destination?                              cially] going out of town for games and                                                                                                  have to work on. Whenever I get my op-
Johnny Berhane: I was being recruited by         playing in tournaments. I’m actually                                                                                                     portunity, I’m willing to give it my all and
the [Gee-Gees] for about two years. It was a     looking forward to everything because                                                                                                    hopefully do what’s best for the team.
welcoming environment as opposed to leav-        it is all going to be new around me.
ing town and not knowing anything. I’m in a                                                                                                                                               What are your future aspirations after
good comfort zone and I think it’s a good it.    How are you preparing to balance your                                                                                                    you graduate from here?
                                                 academic university career with your                                                                                                     I’m not too sure yet. I’m going to see what
Did you end up with a good timetable for         life as a varsity athlete?                                                                                        photo by Alex Martin
                                                                                              New face on campus                                                                          happens in the four or ive years of uni-
your courses?                                    Time management is huge. I have to           Berhane’s interests: basketball and the world of economics                                  versity and go from there, I guess.       f

Scientist by day,
ighter by night
U of O ‘Ninja of Love’ Nick Denis juggles
action-packed lifestyle
Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff                     recognized by his coaches who recom-
                                                mended him to compete in professional
MIXED MARTIAL ARTS (MMA) is rel-                MMA ights. A promoter was contacted,
atively new to the combat sports scene;         and so began Denis’ life as a martial art-
the term MMA itself was only coined in          ist in October 2006. He is currently the
1995. he matches involve two athletes           Canadian bantamweight champion of
who ight using diferent styles—such             the King of the Cage MMA circuit, with a
as boxing, wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and kick-      career record of 9-2—with eight victories
boxing. MMA’s popularity has soared in          by knockout. Denis has also successfully
                                                                                                                                                                                                                photo from
recent years, even with many health ex-         acquired an unique ighting moniker:
                                                                                              Not just an ordinary scientist
perts condemning the sport for its vio-         he Ninja of Love.
                                                                                              Denis, pictured above knocking out his opponent, is an expert at ighting heart disease as well as people.
lent nature.                                       “[MMA athletes] have an image that
   On the other hand, biochemistry              [portrays] them as being hardcore, vio-
research involves little danger for the         lent, and aggressive. I’m really not like     the ‘mecca’ of mixed martial arts.          tems Biology and a professor at the U           could [balance both]. Now he’s pretty
people involved, but requires similar           that in real life, except when it comes to       “My irst ight in Japan was dei nitely    of O. he third-year graduate student            cool with it.”
amounts of sweat and efort. Amazingly,          ighting—and that’s why people call me         the most memorable. It was a dream          studies PCSK9 proteins, which is in-                Not surprisingly, Denis is masterful at
PhD student Nick Denis at the Univer-           the Ninja of Love,” Denis said of his nick-   come true and a big honour. It was also     volved in the breakdown of cholesterol          managing time, and his analytical nature
sity of Ottawa is an expert at both dis-        name.                                         the irst time the Grand Prix [featured]     in humans. Figeys is accepting of his           aids him in the lab and in the ighting
ciplines.                                          he PhD candidate has had many im-          my weight class,” Denis recalled. “I was    protégé’s ighting profession now, but           ring. Denis certainly has an interesting
   “When I was in second year of my un-         pressive ights throughout his four-year       supposed to lose against [Seiya Kawaha-     Denis explained that his advisor did not        future ahead of him—even if he is not
dergrad, I started going to the gym,” said      career. One was his win over Dave Schol-      ra] who was the favourite. I knocked him    approve at i rst.                               sure which profession it will entail.
Denis of his humble athletic beginning.         ten in October 2007, when he oicially         out in the i rst round.”                       “At i rst, [Figeys] was against it. I            “I’ll eventually have to pick [academia
“I wanted to do something fun to get in         became the Canadian bantamweight                 hough Denis trains for competitions      guess he didn’t really understand what          or ighting]. At this point, I really don’t
shape, so I started doing jiu-jitsu and         champion. Denis was particularly fond         by night, his day work involves research    [MMA] was. One time, he sat down with           know. I love ighting, it’s my passion and
grappling competitions.”                        of his i rst MMA Grand Prix match in          under the supervision of Daniel Figeys,     me and told me that I’d have to choose          I’ll see where it takes me.”              f
   Soon ater, Denis’ talents were quickly       March 2009, which took place in Japan,        director of the Ottawa Institute of Sys-    one or the other, but I told him that I                   —with iles from Amanda Daniels

                                                            More sports than you can handle:

    12 sports
                                                                                                                                                      | Sept. 2–15, 2010

Remembering                                                                                                                                 From the press box

Peter Suen
                                                                                                                                            Jaehoon Kim
                                                                                                                                            Sports Editor

Gee-Gees community shocked by varsity                                                                                                     Just don’t get
swimmer’s sudden passing                                                                                                                  involved
                                                                                                                                          THE UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa ath-              15”, but won’t take advantage of the
Anton Ninkov | Fulcrum Contributor                                                         the Gee-Gees varsity swim team. [Suen]         letics department is currently at a        university’s athletic facilities. Soon
                                                                                           was not only one of our top performers,        crossroads. Firstly, a youth move-         enough, a clever new term will have
THIS PAST MAY, the University of Ot-                                                       but [he was] also a team leader,” Schoof       ment is rocking the varsity sports         to be coined for the phenomenon—
tawa’s varsity swim team dealt with the                                                    said. “He was charismatic, support-            scene, with a trio of new head coaches     the “Freshman 45” has a nice ring to
tragic loss of Peter Suen, who had re-                                                     ive, kind-hearted, and well-liked by his       being hired in the last ive months—        it, doesn’t it?
cently completed his third year of studies                                                 teammates. He represented the Gee-             all under the age of 35. hough inex-           Intramurals and recreational drop-
in biology. Suen was spending the sum-                                                     Gees incredibly well and will be remem-        perienced, the three coaches bring         in activities will be completely devoid
mer in Montreal, Que., enjoying time                                                       bered fondly.”                                 fresh ideas to the table, and their        of irst years. he number of frosh who
of school with his family, when he died                                                        Suen had many interests in his life        teams could have immediate success         try-out for competitive sport clubs will
unexpectedly of natural causes. Suen was                                                   aside from his main passion, swimming.         if things go according to plan.            be smaller than the number of total
22 years old.                                                                              Like many of his peers at the U of O, Suen         here is also a second imminent         clubs itself (there are 18 of them). As
   Born in Hong Kong, Suen immigrated                                                      loved playing video games, was a devoted       youth movement on campus: the ar-          for the $197 of incidental fees included
to Canada at a young age. He began his                                                     fan of the Montreal Canadiens, and cher-       rival of the frosh during 101 Week;        in students’ tuition to pay for the ben-
swimming career with the Samak Swim                                                        ished the company of his friends.              however, it remains to be seen if the      eits ofered by Sports Services, I call
Club, located just outside of Montreal.                        photo courtesy       “Peter was truly a one of a kind person.   class of 2014 will move much, if at all.   that chump change.
Suen’s talents were quickly identiied by     A tragic loss                                 He loved to have fun and make people               For years, the university commu-           Before you know it, four years will
his coaches—he was a versatile swimmer       Suen, pictured here before the 2009–10        laugh. His loss is personally devastat-        nity has been plagued with apathy          pass by and you will begin to feel the
who excelled at many events, including       season, passed away this past May             ing, and my thoughts are with his fam-         towards campus athletics. It is a tra-     pressure to i nd a job in the real world
the backstroke, the butterly, and the in-                                                  ily,” said Rob Irvine, Suen’s roommate at      dition which will likely be continued      instead of worrying about how many
dividual medley events.                                                                    away competitions and one of his closest       by the incoming class of students.         times you should party each week.
   Suen was part of the Gee-Gees re-         situations. His raw talents—he had a          friends on the swim team.                          Free irst-year season passes will      Feel proud at your graduation cer-
cruiting class of 2007 and was the only      powerful underwater kick—combined                 Although Suen’s passing came as a          go unused once again, and the Sports       emony; not just for passing all your
member from that class to qualify for        with his competitive nature, made Suen a      shock to the entire Gee-Gees communi-          Complex will be full of empty seats        courses with lying colours, but also
the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS)     rising star in his sport of choice.           ty, his memories at the university will live   for another year. So what if the foot-     for maintaining the tradition of indif-
swimming championships three years in           “[Suen’s] passion for swimming was         on forever. His charm, wit, and friendly       ball team and the women’s soccer           ference towards university sports.
a row. Most recently, he competed in four    immense and he was a true competi-            personality touched everyone that knew         team are contenders for the Canadian           Of course, you will have missed
events at the 2010 CIS championships         tor,” said Gee-Gees head coach Derrick        him. As for the grieving swim team             Interuniversity Sport (CIS) champi-        out on one of the most entertaining
held in Toronto and posted a commend-        Schoof. Though Schoof only became             members, they will dedicate the 2010–11        onship. No one will be there to watch      and exciting aspects of school life, but
able 13th place i nish in the 200-metre      Ottawa’s coach in July 2009, Suen had         CIS season to their former teammate,           them lit their trophies.                   at least you didn’t have to memorize
backstroke.                                  already made an exceptionally posi-           promised Schoof.                                   he women’s basketball team             the name of Ontario’s top women’s
   hough Suen was one of the smallest        tive impression on his coach in the past          “He will be in our thoughts and we         should earn a berth in the CIS i-          basketball player (Hannah Sunley-
members of the Gees swim team, he was        year.                                         will compete hard this season in honour        nals for the third straight year; yet      Paisley) or the star Brazilian hitter on
well-known for coming up huge in clutch         “His passing is a tremendous loss to       of his memory.”                            f   the only thing heard at their games        the women’s volleyball team (Karina
                                                                                                                                          will be the squeaking of the players’      Krueger Schwanke).
                                                                                                                                          sneakers and the referees’ whistles.           Still, if you think you will be i lled
                                                                                                                                          And when one of the other promising        with even a tinge of regret because
                                                                                                                                          Gee-Gee squads makes a surprising          you never engaged yourself in the
                                                                                                                                          post-season run, you can be certain        world of Gee-Gees sports, don’t say
                                                                      Congratulations! You’ve found                                       that there won’t even be a bandwagon       that you weren’t warned.
                                                                                                                                          for people to jump on.
                                                                      the rare Allan Rock card!                                               If that isn’t enough, students         
                                                                                                                                          will complain about the “Freshman                       (613) 562 5931
                                                                      Position: President and Vice-Chancellor of the Univer-
                                                                      sity of Ottawa

                                                                      Name one thing you want to accomplish this year: My
                                                                      top priority ever since I started as president has been to
                                                                      enrich our students’ experience during their time at the
                                                                      university. It continues to be my number one goal this

                                                                      If you could teach your own university class, what
                                                                      would you teach: As a former Canadian ambassador to
                                                                      the U.N. and as an alumnus of uOttawa’s law school, I
                                                                      would relish the opportunity to teach human rights law.
                                                                      Maybe Professor Penelope Simons from the University’s
                                                                      Human Rights Research and Education Centre could let
                                                                      me sit in on one of her CML3399 Human Rights (Interna-
                                                                      tional Protection) classes this fall.

                                                                      What cartoon character would you compare yourself
                                                                      to, and why: Given our similar roles, I’d probably say
                                                                      Principal Skinner from he Simpsons. Luckily, we don’t
                                                                      have any students like Bart here, or a wild groundskeeper
                                                                      like Willy.

                                                                                                                                                                    Answers from puzzles on p. 21        sports 13
  | Sept. 2–15, 2010

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Taking the next step
VARSITY PREVIEW                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Veteran-laden women’s rugby hungry for success

Great expectations
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff                                                                    er,” Dingwall said.                            a national championship berth, they

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                FIVE YEARS HAVE passed since the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Before the start of last season, the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               team went on a special retreat designed
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              must beat Concordia and Laval, a truly
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              daunting task. Both teams are tough op-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               THE RUNDOWN
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                University of Ottawa women’s rugby                                                             to foster trust amongst the players and        ponents, but the team needs to believe         Conference:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                team last posted a winning season. Af-                                                         to improve the team’s communication.           in their chances to win before they can        Quebec Student Sports
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ter losing to McGill in the 2005 Quebec                                                        Ater reaping the rewards, the team has         dominate on the ield.                          Federation (QSSF)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Student Sports Federation (QSSF) i nals,                                                       planned another outing at the end of Au-
Men’s football team legitimate contenders for Vanier Cup                                                                                                                                                                        a barrage of two-win seasons followed—
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                until last year. Behind a three-game win-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               gust. he retreats have built up a sense of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               team unity—one of the team’s strengths
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “he returning players on our team
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              have to stop [thinking] that [Concordia
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              and Laval] are so diicult to beat,” said
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Head coach:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Suzanne Chaulk (her 19th
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ning streak to start the season, the Gees                                                      according to Dingwall.                         Dingwall. “I’m very optimistic that we’ll      year as Gees’ head coach)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                looked to be i nally turning the corner,                                                           “We’re a strong, united team. When it      be able to beat them.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                but the end result was too similar: Con-                                                       comes down to the last 10 minutes of the           When the Gee-Gees do emerge victo-         Stadium:
                                                                                                                                                                                                    THE RUN-                    cordia beat Ottawa 18-7 in the Quebec                                                          game, when we’re all tired, we’re not just     rious against their QSSF foes, Dingwall        Matt Anthony Field at
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                semi-i nals.                                                                                   playing for ourselves but we’re playing for    is hoping for just one thing: that the fans    the Sports Complex
                                                                                                                                                                                                     DOWN                          With these painful memories behind                                                          the girls around us.”                          will be there to watch them.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                them, the Gees are prepared to return to                                                           Another change that occurred at the            “It would be great to have more fans       2009 Season:
                                                                                                                                                                                              Conference:                       national prominence.                                                                           beginning of last season was the difer-        come out and support us because we feed        Regular season: 3-3,
                                                                                                                                                                                              Ontario University Athletics         “Mentally, in the past, I don’t think                                                       ence in coaching philosophy. A new,            of [their] energy. he fans give you the        third in QSSF; lost to Concordia
                                                                                                                                                                                              (OUA)                             we’ve been prepared to go to nationals.                                                        non-structured system of play was in-          little push that keeps you going.”             in QSSF semi-i nals
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It wasn’t something that we’ve thought                                                         troduced, which meant that players
                                                                                                                                                                                              Head Coach:                       of as a serious option. But ater last year,                                                    would no longer be bound by their po-                                                         Key players:
                                                                                                                                                                                              Jean-Philippe Asselin (his irst   the girls are realizing that we can actual-                                                    sitional roles. hough implementation           Schedule analysis:                             Fullback Sarah Meng
                                                                                                                                                                                              year as Gees’ head coach)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ly win our conference,” said fourth-year                                                       of the strategy was diicult, the players       With only six teams in the entire              Flanker Jenny-Lynn Crawford
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                wing Lana Dingwall in an interview with                                                        responded well and now have a year of          QSSF for women’s rugby, there isn’t            Wing Lana Dingwall
                                                                                                                                                                                              Frank Clair Stadium (1015 Bank    the Fulcrum.                                                                                   experience under their belts.                  a huge discrepancy in the schedul-             Second Row Alison McKittrick
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   For the i rst time in recent years, the                              photo by Alex Martin       “It’s a lowing system of play where        ing from one season to the next.
                                                                                                                                                                                              St.)                                                                             Is this their year?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                women’s rugby team is full of veteran          Women’s rugby has the potential for a           we don’t really have set positions. It’s       The Gees do avoid a long road trip             Schedule:
                                                                                                                                                                                              2009 Season:                      players. Last year’s QSSF all-stars Ding-      winning season                                  good because we get to see the girls’          to Quebec City by facing Laval at              Sept. 12 at Concordia
                                                                                                                                                                                              Regular season: 6-2, fourth in    wall and fourth-year second row Ali-                                                           skills outside of what they’re expect-         home—a must-see game for Ottawa                Sept. 19 vs. McGill
                                                                                                                                                                                              OUA; lost to McMaster in OUA      son McKittrick both return, along with                                                         ed to do in their position. I think it’s       fans. Otherwise, facing McGill twice           Sept. 26 at Sherbrooke
                                                                                                                                                                                              quarter-i nals                    third-year captain Sarah Meng.                                                                 opened up an opportunity for our play-         is slightly favourable compared to             Oct. 2 vs. Laval
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   “[Meng] leads by example. She’s very                                                        ers to excel to their [fullest] potential,”    last season when the Gee-Gees                  Oct. 7 at McGill
                                                                                                                                                                                              Key players:                      approachable, yet she’s vocal and she tells                                                    said Dingwall.                                 met Concordia twice, the defending             Oct. 16 vs. Bishop’s
                                                                                                                                                                                              Ofence:                           you what she wants. She’s a strong lead-                                                           In order for the Gee-Gees to earn          provincial champions.             f
                                                                                                                                                                                              QB Brad Sinopoli
                                                                                                                                                                                              WR Cyril Adjeitey
                                                                                                                                                                                              OL Philippe David
                                                                                                                                                                                              DT Sébastien Tétreault
                                                                                                                                                                                              DE Youcef Lekadir
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hoping for a happier ending
                                                                                                                                                                                              CB Chayce Elliott
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Women’s soccer strives for excellence despite key losses
                                                                                                                                                                                              Aug. 31 at Windsor                Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff                                                                        “I like an attacking team, and I like
                                                                                                                                                                                              Sept. 6 vs. Western                                                                                                              a team that’s aggressive. We’re going
                                                                                                                                                                                              Sept. 11 at York                  THE GEE-GEES HAVE lost 57 per cent                                                             to try and bring out those qualities in                                   THE RUNDOWN
                                                                                                                                                                                              Sept. 18 vs. McMaster             of their last year’s scorers due to gradu-                                                     this team really early. We’re going to
                                                                                                                                                                                              Sept. 25 at Queen’s               ation and injuries. Still, the future of the                                                   have some young people contribute this             Conference:
                                                                                                                                                                                              Oct. 2 at Toronto                 women’s soccer team is anything but                                                            year. hose young [players] need to have            Ontario University Athletics (OUA)        Schedule:
                                                                                                                                                                                              Oct. 9 vs. Laurier                bleak with esteemed head coach Steve                                                           an aggressive mentality,” Johnson ex-                                                        Sept. 5 vs. RMC
                                                                                                                                                                                              Oct. 23 vs. Guelph
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Johnson leading the charge.                                                                    plained.                                           Head coach:                               Sept. 11 vs. Carleton
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Last season, Ottawa came within one                                                             On the injury front, the Gee-Gees              Steve Johnson (his 17th year as Gees’     Sept. 15 at Queen’s
Ready for liftoff                                                                                                                                                                                                               victory of reaching the Canadian Inter-                                                        will likely be without the services of a           head coach)                               Sept. 18 at Nipissing
Gee-Gees set to make noise on the national stage                                                                                                                                                                                university Sport (CIS) championships                                                           pair of OUA all-stars for a signiicant                                                       Sept. 19 at Laurentian
                                                                                                                                                                     photo by Alex Smyth                                        for the i t h consecutive year. h is year’s                                                    portion of the season. h ird-year mid-             Stadium:                                  Sept. 25 at Trent
Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff                  pact players in all positions, including      Stampeders. However, plenty of experi-          of the Gee-Gees—an experienced squad            Schedule analysis:                   version of the women’s soccer team may                                                         ielder Brittany Harrison is still recover-         Matt Anthony Field at the Sports          Sept. 26 at Ryerson
                                             OUA’s top quarterback in fourth-year          enced players are returning, especially         that enjoys a bit of adversity.                                                      not look as good on paper, but should                                                          ing from knee surgery, while third-year            Complex                                   Oct. 2 vs. Ryerson
AFTER A DISAPPOINTING home                   pivot Brad Sinopoli. Sinopoli, who had a      on the defensive line, highlighted by All-         “I think our guys have been waiting to       The first part of the schedule        once again compete for a provincial title                                                      defender Nikki Moreau is recovering                                                          Oct. 3 vs. Toronto
playof loss to McMaster University           chance to intern with the Canadian Foot-      Canadian defensive tackle Sébastien Té-         feel that pressure, and I think they like       will be difficult—not due to          and beyond.                                                                                    from brain surgery. While this is unfor-           2009 Season:                              Oct. 6 vs. Queen’s
ending last season, the University of Ot-    ball League’s (CFL) Hamilton Tiger-Cats       treault. he iercest training camp battle        the extra bit of [it]. Our guys put pressure    the quality of their opponents,         he biggest void is let at the strik-                                                        tunate news, it also means that oppor-             Regular season: 11-2-3, third in          Oct. 9 at RMC
tawa men’s football team is hungry for       in the summer, has numerous weapons at        will take place in the secondary, as the        on themselves [already]. To do well in the      but because the Gee-Gees             er position, where the graduation of                                                           tunity exists for players to earn places           OUA East; playofs: 3-1, OUA               Oct. 10 vs. Trent
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        photo by Alex Smyth
success. Led by a new head coach, Jean-      his disposal as Ottawa is blessed with tal-   only defensive back who is a lock to start      football season, we need to work well un-       have to play three games in          Courtney Luscombe and Sara Bullock             Kick it                                         in the starting lineup during training             bronze medallists                         Oct. 16 vs. Nipissing
Philippe Asselin, the Gee-Gees are aim-      ented running backs and receivers.            every game is shut-down cornerback              der pressure.”                                  11 days with two long road           could hurt the team. Luscombe scored           he U of O women’s soccer team is ready          camp.                                                                                        Oct. 17 vs. Laurentian
ing for a berth in the Vanier Cup, also         “In terms of positions, all of our skill   Chayce Elliott, a i t h-year veteran.              In the end, all of Ottawa’s potential        trips to Windsor and Toronto.        a team-high nine goals last year for the       to prove themselves                                 “I don’t think the starting 11 is set at       Key players:                              Oct. 20 at Carleton
known as the Canadian Interuniversity        positions have a lot of depth. Receivers,        “Defensive back will be the position         will go to waste if the coaches and play-       Otherwise, the schedule looks        Gees, who i nished i rst in scoring in the                                                     all. he fact that we lost some players             DF Dominique Falardeau                    Oct. 24 at Toronto
Sport (CIS) championship game. With          running backs, and quarterbacks are our       where there will be the biggest battle [in      ers cannot fuli l it. he Gee-Gees have          perfect as the Gees face four        OUA in 2009.                                   summer. I think she’s got some quali-           creates an opportunity for veterans and            DF Gillian Baggott
the Gees returning almost all of their       strengths,” explained Asselin.                training camp]. We had a really good re-        all the components needed for a special         of the top five OUA opponents            “We have to i nd new strikers. I think      ties that are going to be beneicial to our      new players to come in and earn starting           MF Élise Desjardins
veteran players, Ottawa’s chances look          he star quarterback should also be         cruiting class and our vets realize that it’s   post-season run; anything less than a Va-       at home, and the late bye week       that will be our biggest challenge [this       team,” said Johnson.                            spots,” said Johnson.                              MF Tara Condos
bright already.                              well-protected behind a pair of i t h-year    going to be competitive,” said Asselin.         nier Cup title will be a let-down, admit-       gives them a chance to rest          year],” said Johnson.                             he strength of the team lies in its              Similar to years past, Ottawa will be
   “Considering the fact that we only lost   linemen, Philippe David and Patrick              With Western and Queen’s losing              ted Asselin.                                    before the playoffs begin. Only         Christine Hardie, a transfer from           back line. he Gees return both of their         in a dogight with Toronto and Queen’s
three starters, I would say that we are a    D’Amico, with both deciding to return         their star quarterbacks to graduations,            “I think with the kind of team we have,      complaint: none of Ottawa’s          Dalhousie University, should aid the           starting central defenders in i t h-year        for supremacy in the OUA East division.
better team on paper with more poten-        for a i nal season. If things go according    many preseason prognosticators are              we feel like we can be the top team and         games are currently scheduled        team’s prospects, and more will be ex-         Dominique Falardeau and fourth-year             If the Gee-Gees are able to jell as a team     Schedule analysis:
tial,” said Asselin. “Some of the other      to plan, the Gees ofence should be the        banking on the Gees to challenge for the        anything short of that will be disappoint-      to be nationally televised—a         pected from young players like second-         Gillian Baggott. he Gees’ midield also          early on, the fans could see them at a fa-     Ottawa has an early five-game road trip, which will test the mettle of the
teams lost [around] 10 players, and with     most proliic in the OUA.                      Yates Cup, the OUA championship game,           ing. I can tell you some nice things, but if    travesty for a team expected to      year striker Krista Draycott. A rookie         remains solid with i t h-year captain           miliar place at the season’s end—at the        young Gee-Gees squad. The Gees also face Toronto and Queen’s at home
the young guys having another year un-          On the defensive side, the Gee-Gees        and more. hough the team is facing a            we don’t win it all it’s going to be disap-     contend for the national title.      that could play a huge role is Lili Wong,      Élise Desjardins and third-year Tara            top of the standings.                          in early October; if they are to be true contenders, they need to at least split
der their belt, we should be better.”        lost a key player in linebacker Mike Cor-     tremendous amount of pressure to win,           pointing for me and a lot of those play-                                             a local recruit.                               Condos providing a veteran presence.                “I want this team to be best it can be     the games. The schedule softens a little at the back end, with the final road
   On ofence, the Gee-Gees boast im-         nell, now playing for the CFL’s Calgary       Asselin noted that it may work in favour        ers.”                                      f                                            “I think [Wong] is going to have a          heir steady inluence should allow the           whether that means winning our divi-           game at Toronto likely to decide Ottawa’s playoff position. If Ottawa does
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                really great season. She’s let-footed,         young strikers to attack with aggres-           sion, conference, or the national cham-        win its division, they will host the OUA Final Four.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                blessed with good pace, and she’s been         sion, which is a crucial part of Johnson’s      pionship. I don’t think any of those goals
    14 sports                                                                                                                                                                                                                   developing a scoring touch this past           coaching philosophy.                            are beyond this team.”                     f
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             sports 15
     | Sept. 2–15, 2010

              Screw your well-
              meaning advice
                                                                                                                                                               this little birdie tweets.
                      Everyone thinks they knoww                                                                                                                        

                        what’s best for you, but
                            do they really?
                                                                                                                                                                               What’s the first step you can
                                                                                                                                                                                 take to make a difference
                                                                                                             illustrations by Maria Rondon                                             in a young girl’s life?
                                              essay writing, motivation, study habits,    relationships around you. he study                                                                 All you need is a desire to see
 Amanda Shendruk | Fulcrum Staff                                                                                                                                                         young girls and women experience
                                              and class attendance.                       followed 300 college i rst-years who did
                                                                                                                                                                                    and develop the best within themselves.
                                                                                          not know the roommate to which they

          UIDANCE,        SUGGESTIONS,        Your Best Friend: “You’d better find some    were assigned. hey found that those                                               Units in the Glebe, Centretown, Sandy Hill, and
          ADVICE—are you tired of it all
                                              chick to get it on with tonight! Everyone   students who were concerned about pro-                                                 Old Ottawa South are looking for leaders!
          yet? No doubt all the major play-
                                              hooks up in first year.”                     tecting their self-images were less likely
 ers in your life have ofered you nuggets
 of wisdom about what to expect and how
                                                                                          to report improved relationships with                                                                   Volunteer today!
                                              Bad advice                                  their roommates over a period of a few                                                                        1-800-565-8111
 to behave during your i rst foray into                                                                                                                                               
 college life. With warnings, instructions,                                               months than those who were motivated
 and assumptions lying at you from all        Don’t tell Di Daniels—not only are stu-     to support their bunkmate. Basically, if
 corners of your world, whose counsel         dents not hooking up, but many i rst        you treat your roommate with care and
 can you legitimately trust?                  years remain virgins, says Bob Alte-        compassion, and ofer support when he
                                              meyer, retired University of Manitoba       or she needs it, you are more likely to
    Well, kid, you’re in university now,
                                              psychology professor. For 24 years, Alte-   i nd yourself in a reciprocally supportive
                                                                                                                                              Tomorrow’s Professionals Apply Today!
 where nothing is true unless it has been
 hypothesized, dei ned, operationalized,      meyer surveyed his i rst-year students      relationship.
 tested, controlled, retested, analyzed,
 and, i nally, published in a peer reviewed
                                              anonymously about their sex lives, and
                                              in 2009 published a book, Sex and Youth,    Your 101 Week Guide: “Don’t be worry
                                                                                                                                                              Apply Online!
 periodical. So, instead of throwing in       documenting his i ndings. Altemeyer         about it, man. The ‘Freshman 15’ is just
 our own two cents, the Fulcrum has de-       says that almost half the men and one-      a myth.”
 cided to give you the data straight up—      quarter of i rst-year women admitted in
 research on the rocks. Pound those pos-      a 2007 survey to being virgins, and those   Good advice
 tulates, Freshie!                            that do engage in intercourse are forego-                                                      Ontario Medical School Application Service
                                              ing the more diicult arrangements like      A 2008 study conducted by researchers              September 15, 2010: Last day to create an account
 Your 101 Week Guide: “If you don’t put       69 in favour of the more standard mis-      at the University of Guelph suggests that          for the online application
 in effort, your long distance relationship   sionary position. h roughout years of       the dreaded i rst-year weight gain should          October 1, 2010: Application deadline
 probably won’t last.”                        research he discovered that, for the most   be renamed the ‘Freshman 5.29.’ In a
                                              part, the majority of respondents pre-      sample of 116 i rst-year female students,
 Good advice                                  ferred long-term relationships to ‘one-     over a period of six to seven months, av-
                                              night stands.’                              erage weight gain was nowhere near 15
 Everyone knows that long distance re-                                                    pounds—and was in fact closer to ive.                                           OLSAS  
 lationships aren’t easy, but a 2002 study    Your high-school teacher: “Facebook                                                                                                     Ontario Law School Application Service
 of 438 undergraduates published in Col-      has been linked to lower grades, so let     Your best friend: “You have a major exam                                                       November 1, 2010: Application deadline
 lege Student Journal coni rms what many      your Farmville crops die and don’t up-      tomorrow morning? No worries, you can                                                                   for first-year English programs
 long-distances lovers fear—one in ive        date your profile 20 times a day.”           just pull an all-nighter and ace the test.”                                                      May 1, 2011: Application deadline for
 relationships ended, and 20 per cent of      Good advice                                                                                                                                                   upper-year programs
 respondents reported their relationships                                                 Bad advice
 worsened due to the separation.              Apparently college students who use
                                              Facebook don’t spend enough time            A St. Lawrence University study has
 Your parents: “Don’t you dare go out         studying, and on average have lower         found that students who pull all-night-
 binge drinking the night before your         GPAs than those who don’t use the so-       ers generally have lower GPAs than
 exam. You’ll fail your courses!”             cial networking website. he study,          those who don’t. Associate professor               Teacher Education Application Service
                                              conducted at Ohio Dominican Univer-         of psychology Pamela hacher studied                December 1, 2010: Application deadline for English programs
 Bad advice                                   sity, involved 219 students—102 under-      the sleeping patterns and transcripts of           March 1, 2011: Application deadline for French programs
                                              graduates and 117 graduates—148 of          111 students to determine if there was
 Surprisingly, intoxication the evening       which said they had a Facebook account.     a signiicant correlation between sleep
 before an exam does not afect your           Eighty-ive per cent of undergraduates       and grade-point averages. At least two-
 score, according to a study published in     used Facebook, while only 52 per cent of    thirds of participants admitted to pull-
 the April edition of the journal Addic-      graduate students had proi les. he study    ing at least one all-nighter per semester,
 tion. he research, which consisted of a      determined that Facebook users spent        which compromises sleep and results                                           ORPAS   
 controlled experiment on 193 university      an average of one to ive hours per week     in delayed reactions and a tendency to                                                   Ontario Rehabilitation Sciences Programs
 students ages 21 to 24, found that grades    studying, while those who were not fans     make more mistakes. A similar study                                                                            Application Service
 were not signiicantly diferent between       of the website studied between 11 and 15    performed on 824 undergraduates at the                                      (Audiology, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy/Physiotherapy,
 those students that consumed alco-           hours per week.                             University of North Texas found that                                                                            Speech-Language Pathology)
 hol and those that did not. h is proved                                                  college students who were night owls had                                                          January 7, 2011: Application deadline
 true for exams that required informa-        Your Best Friend: “If you and your room-    lower GPAs than those who considered
 tion stored in both long-term memory         mate don’t get along, move out—stat!”       themselves early birds.
 and short-term memory. Researchers                                                          Not only does sleep afect your grades,
 from Boston University School of Pub-        Bad advice                                  but it also impacts athletic performance,                                                                              170 Research Lane
 lic Health and Brown University noted,                                                   according to a study performed by a                                                                                  Guelph ON N1G 5E2
 however, that alcohol consumption did        In a classic case of research telling us    Stanford University graduate researcher                                                                        
 afect mood, attention, and reaction          what we already knew, psychologists at      Cheri Mah. Mah watched the moves of
 times. hey also mentioned that test-tak-     the University of Michigan Institute for    six college basketball players and noted
 ing is only one measure of success, and      Social Research recently published an       that they ran faster and completed more
 that binge drinking might afect other        article stating that if you change your     successful shots during a period when
                                                                                                                                                                                                           illustrations by Maria Rondon
 types of academic performance, such as       attitude, you can positively afect the      they slept at least 10 hours a night.    f

16 features
 ARTS & CULTURE Charlotte Bailey | | (613) 562 5931

Mother Mother, mazes, and mayhem
101 Week brings new attractions to the U of O

Burlesque Acrobatics
Lucent Dossier Experience is just one of many exciting acts coming to Luminata.
                                                                                                                                                                                                             photo by Phill Holland

Dani-Elle Dube | Fulcrum Contributor           Luminata will ofer various forms of       and the Pride Centre. Dancers from In-        artwork on the University Centre and          the Faculty of Arts (SAFA), and GSAÉD.
                                            entertainment to students. One of the        ternational House will also be perform-       Café Nostalgica, displayed with exhibi-       In addition to sponsorship provided

            AMED ROCKERS, DRAG              week’s must-see attractions is the Lucent    ing during the day. Musical acts such         tion spotlights. he sky across University     by the student associations, the event
            queens, burlesque acrobats,     Dossier Experience, a performance by         as modern rock band Mother Mother,            Private will be covered with illuminated      is sponsored by the Centre for Students
            graitti mazes, and lit-up       an interactive circus group. Best known      whose original approach to the indie-         helium balloons, creating a stunning at-      with Disabilities, which donated $2,000
            balloon skies will invade the   for their vintage feel, their performance    rock genre has gained them wide recog-        traction.                                     worth of unused funds that have accu-
            University of Ottawa’s 101      at the Coachella Music and Arts Festival     nition, will also be performing.                  “We spent a lot of time on how it’s go-   mulated over the past few years.
Week. h is Sept. 9 students will get a      earlier this year was well-received.            he idea for a splashy array of perfor-     ing to look,” explains Lemieux. “We are          “h is event is targeted towards more
chance to experience Luminata, a day-          Another featured act is House of Paint    mances during 101 Week was inspired by        bringing in 300 balloons with LED lights      mature students who would be interested
long event designed to welcome new and      (HoP), a group of graiti artists expected    Lemieux’s recent experiences on the west      in them … creating a ceiling over the         in something diferent than just a party
returning students to the university.       to quite literally make their mark at the    coast.                                        street with archways of balloons. During      to get drunk,” says Lemieux.          f
   “Luminata was built to create this       university by combining live entertain-         “I went to Coachella [music festival] in   the day it’s going to look like a bunch of
sexy, appealing place for young adults to   ment and art. HoP will turn a series of      April and I was completely blown away         balloons in the air, but at night … [there    Luminata takes place Sept. 9, running
gather, have a good time, and be stimu-     removable walls—painted before the au-       by this adult playground,” says Lemieux.      will] be a bunch of l ickering lights over    through the day and into the night. Two
lated in a diferent way than just a rock    dience’s eyes—into a graiti maze on the      “My intention was to recreate this sort of    the street, creating this very unique roof-   areas will be roped of for students ages 19
[concert], or a bar.” says Guillaume        Morisett terrace.                            playground on campus.”                        top.”                                         and over, and there is need to sign up for
Lemieux, student life comissioner for the      hose looking for live performances           he extravagant atmosphere created             Luminata is being sponsored by the         the event. Admission is free for students.
Graduate Students Association (GSAÉD)       can attend a drag show put on by Jer’s Vi-   for Luminata is a key part of the 101 Week    Student Federation of the University of
and architect of the event.                 sion, Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative,   experience. Expect to see large pieces of     Ottawa (SFUO), Student Association of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                17 | Sept. 2–15, 2010

 movie reviews

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                                                                    Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
                                                                    GAMERS, INDIE LOVERS, and nerds alike: you just might orgasm over Scott Pilgrim vs. he World. he
                                                                    movie, which takes place in the world of Toronto indie subculture, follows Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera)
                                                                    battling the seven evil exes of his new girlfriend Ramona (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) to win her heart. Oh, and
                                                                    it’s inside a video game. his fact is never mentioned, or questioned by any of the characters in the movie, so
                                                                    it’s best just to accept this, move on, and enjoy the bad guys exploding into coins. he world that the characters
                                                                    live in, based on the comic book that the story orginated from, is fantastic—you just might walk out wishing
                                                                    our world was that cool. he movie cuts rapidly and doesn’t waste time explaining its diferences from the real
                                                                    world, so some might have trouble following it. But if you can accept it and go with the low, it’s one hilarious
                                                                                                                                                                      —Allan Johnson


     The Switch                                                         The Kids Are Alright                                               Harold and Maude
     B-                                                                 C+                                                                 A+
     JASON BATEMAN AND Jennifer Aniston ofer star clout                 SINCE IT WASN’T the most widely talked about movie                 IF YOU FEEL like you’re at a crossroads in your life, that you
     to he Switch, a typical romantic comedy with some unique           this summer—the chatter over Inception has drowned out             don’t want to grow any older, or really just want your degree
     twists. When Kassie (Anistion) decides to conceive through         everything else—this review should begin with a short              to be completed already, try this classic ilm. Harold and
     artiicial insemination and overlooks her best friend, Wally        overview: he Kids Are Alright is about two teenaged children       Maude centres around the unlikely relationship between young
     (Bateman), as a potential sperm donor, he drunkenly washes         of a lesbian couple who decide to i nd their biological father     20-year-old Harold and 79-year-old Maude. Harold, obsessed
     her donor’s sperm down the drain. Forced to choose between         for the i rst time. he movie is disorganized, which made it        with the idea of death, lives without afection in his parent’s
     replacing the sperm and losing the friendship, Wally decides       diicult to see on which characters the story was focused.  As      mansion, driving a hearse and scaring away any dates that his
     to—yup, you guessed it. Seven years later, they reunite with       a result, none of the characters were very developed, and it was   mother arranges for him. Maude, on the other hand, vibrant
     each other, joined by the child they don’t know they share.        hard to feel any real connection to them. If you did manage        and hell-bent on living a full life, and has a habit of showing
     Neurotic characters are the only thing that derail this            to develop a liking to a character, it would not last—even the     those around her how little they can control in their lives. When
     otherwise cliché plotline; all the standbys of the male lead       most likeable character was made to look like a villain by the     these two meet, it’s a love story like no other. Yes, it’s a love
     being stuck in the “friend zone,” the kooky female not being       end. Despite these problems, when the movie ended I was            story—an unconventional, satirical, completely unique take
     aware of how awesome her friend is, and the competition from       let thinking that, for all its diferences, this family seemed      on the boy-meets-girl scenario, which will have you laughing,
     the hunky guy are all present. he kid has his moments of           like any other, with problems and challenges of raising two        crying, and marvelling at its unapologetic irony.
     cuteness, but also extreme annoyingness: he’s way too mature       children.  Check this movie out if you’re in the mood to be                                                      —Charlotte Bailey
     for someone whose mother is obviously lacking the maternal         reminded of how normal your family really is.
     gene. Despite its predictable ending and underdeveloped                                                             —Joshua Flear
     characters, he Switch has many laugh-out-loud moments and
     allows Bateman and Aniston to play unique characters, which
     they do well.
                                                  —Sarah Duguay

18 arts&culture
                                                                                                                                                          | Sept. 2–15, 2010

365 days, 52 jobs, one goal                                                                                                                     Snapshot
Unconventional project helps students find their passion
                                                                                                                                                Charlotte Bailey
Julie Bortolotti | Fulcrum Contributor
                                                                                                                                                Arts & Culture Editor

                                                                                                                                            It’s what you
lorist, tattoo artist, astronomer, and NHL
mascot are not on the typical resumé of
a new university graduate—but, Sean
Aiken, the “one-week-job guy,” isn’t your
typical graduate.
   Here’s how it happened: ater gradu-

                                                                                                                                            make of it
ating in 2005 with a business adminis-
tration degree and a 4.0 average, Aiken
began struggling with an issue university
grads oten face: what now?
   Instead of jumping into a career, he
decided to work a diferent job every
week for a year in order to ind a career
he could be passionate about—not one he                                                                                                     SEPTEMBER: THE MONTH of new                       How about volunteering? Resumé
simply liked.                                                                                                                               beginnings. Other than the fabulous            beautiication aside, it feels good to help
   Aiken created his blog (oneweekjob.                                                                                                      fashions fall brings, it always seems like     others, and dozens of campus causes
com) to inform potential employers of his                                                                                                   a time of change. And since our grounds        need your hands. What cause or service
project and to advertise his availability.                                                                                                  are once again populated by fresh-faced        that’s in need would turn your crank?
He decided everything he earned would                                                                                                       university students, it’s clear that a sense   Have you checked out the clubs on cam-
be donated to the Make Poverty History                                                                                                      of renewal is upon us all.                     pus? If you can’t i nd that speciic club
campaign, which eventually received over                                                                                                        Life is what you make of it. Yes, that     you’d like, are you starting one?
                                                                                                               photo courtesy Sean Aiken
$20,000 from his year of work. Aiken         Week 42                                                                                        phrase is cheesy—you may have seen it             If you have a problem with how some-
avoided having to pay for accommoda-         Aiken trys his hand at i reighting.                                                            on a dorky high school poster, or written      thing’s being run, or how someone’s be-
tions that year by staying with his em-                                                                                                     it in the yearbook to someone you didn’t       ing treated—can you do something about
ployers and blog followers.                  the right opportunities to experience a           “I tried to relate my experience as          know well. Even so, it’s true. Our experi-     it? Rather than sulk in silence, is your
   Over the 52 weeks, Aiken experienced      career, and this oten leads to some confu-    genuinely as I could at that stage of my         ences are only as good as we make them.        voice being heard?
many interesting jobs, including working     sion ater graduation.                         life, making the transition from school to           So for goodness sake, newbies, enjoy          Are you seeking out experiences, or
in Hollywood alongside the producer of            “Many people will graduate from          working world, and [to] share the lessons        the University of Ottawa. Better than          just waiting for them to fall out of the sky
Rambo and he Righteous Kill. Aiken also      school with a degree and will end up          that I learned.”                                 that, appreciate the University of Ottawa.     and into your lap?
dared to try risky jobs like bungee jump-    working at a job in a completely unrelated        Aiken wants to ofer guidance and help        It’s got some kick-ass stuf to ofer, and if       he point being: we’re all here, prob-
ing instructor, and rock climbing instruc-   ield,” says Aiken. “[It’s] because we don’t   students ind their passion.                      you don’t pay attention it will pass you by.   ably for four years, to earn a degree. If
tor, which challenged him mentally and       know what we want to do. Many people              “Do something!” he encourages. “Get          hat, or you’ll become someone no one           you’re in it just to land a good job later on,
physically. He inished his last week as      are paralyzed by that.”                       out of your comfort zone. [It’s] important       can stand: a serial complainer who does        that’s your prerogative. But take a look
mayor of his own town of Port Moody,            What started as a blog turned into a       to focus on ourselves, and develop our           nothing to i x his or her situation.           around, rather than complain that the U
BC.                                          book, then a ilm, and ultimately took on      own self-knowledge to learn about the                Instead of wandering down that road,       of O’s not a big, or cool, or mind-blowing
   Aiken feels that when students decide     a life of its own by becoming a practical     things we like to do and things that we are      ask yourself: do you know all the amaz-        university. Go out and i nd whatever it is
on their career paths, they tend to focus    work program. Aiken’s model for inding        good at.”                                        ing things that go on at the U of O? Let’s     you’re ater. Volunteer, have an experi-
too much on job titles rather than on        one’s passion was applied to new students         Curiously, what Aiken seems to have          start small. Do you know the bars on           ence you can write to Dear Di about, or
the profession’s day-to-day activities. He   who qualiied for the One-Week Job Pro-        a real love for is helping others bysharing      campus? Do you know which ones have            i nd out what your student fees support
maintains that students should actively      gram, which he launched this summer.          his experiences. More than four years af-        live bands?                                    to enrich your life as a student.
pursue opportunities ater graduating         he irst session lasted one semester, and      ter starting the One-Week Job project, it is         Did you know that the U of O has its          he U of O has lots to ofer its students.
from university and gain practical work      the three candidates chosen for the pro-      continually growing. Aiken continues to          own art gallery? An orchestra? A theatre       Life’s what you make of it—and if you just
experience and career knowledge.             gram received a $3,000 grant to work a        inspire people to ind their passion, and         department, even? Or that our sports           put your time here on cruise control, let
     “[Students] will say, I want to be a    total of eight jobs during the summer. he     although he sympathizes with students            program includes dance classes? Are            get ready for a loooong, dull ride.
teacher, or a doctor, or a lawyer, and go    grant is given for travel purposes.           who feel lost ater graduating from uni-          you aware of the many ways that the U
to school,” explains Aiken. “But we don’t       Aiken hopes that the One-Week Job          versity, he airms that action is necessary.      of O brings arts and entertainment to             
have a good grasp about what the profes-     project will help those who are struggling         “It’s okay that you don’t know what you     students?                                                      (613) 562 5931
sion is like.”                               for answers ater university, as it did for    want to do,” says Aiken, but he adds that:
   A formal education seldom provides        him.                                          “It’s not okay to do nothing about it.” f

New Shaap on the block
Ottawa record store tries to avoid foreclosure curse
Natasha Chaykowski | Fulcrum Contributor     most recently, End Hits, he’s seen numer-     work, however, through his passion for          Dave about it,” says McGovern. “He                 “here’s still the appeal to go to an
                                             ous record stores close irst-hand. He isn’t   music and by keeping his costs low. He ar-      thought that I could dei nitely succeed.        actual record store. It’s refreshing to be
IN THE PAST four years, Ottawa has           shying away from a history of failed re-      gues that there isn’t one common reason         [He said] you just needed to make sure          able to look though the music, especially
witnessed the closure of seven indepen-      cord shop endeavours in the city—in fact,     that these businesses have closed, nor is       that you’re still really passionate about       when the Internet bombards audiences
dently-owned music stores. So when a         McGovern chose the name “he Record            there a reason why all are destined to fail.    it—and that your overhead isn’t out of          with so many options,” says McGovern.
new store opened, he Record Shaap,           Shaap” to embrace these unlucky experi-          “Each record store I’ve worked at has        control.” McGovern took this advice,            “It can be overwhelming. It’s in the store
many were skeptical about its potential      ences.                                        closed for [a] drastically diferent rea-        and decided to use a smaller space for his      that you can i nd the hidden gems.”
success—with the exception of its owner,        “Shaap is the Hindi word for ‘curse,’      son,” explains McGovern. Record Run-            business in order to keep his costs of rent        he Record Shaap stocks a variety of
Matty McGovern.                              which I igured was appropriate be-            ner, for example, couldn’t i nd another         and utilities low.                              musical genres, including indie, metal,
   McGovern recently opened he Re-           cause I’ve worked at four diferent record     suitable location when its Rideau Street           Because the Internet provides such           folk, rock, and electronic, all of which
cord Shaap because of his passion for        stores, all of which have closed,” laughs     space was converted into apartments.            easy and inexpensive access to music,           are available on CD, cassette, and vinyl.
music, which he credits his parents for.     McGovern. “I’d rather have fun and ac-        End Hits cited the sale of underground          the heyday of the CD, cassette, or vinyl        he store will also sell tickets for various
   “Most people have ‘hockey parents’ or     knowledge it, as opposed to avoiding the      music in commercial stores for its loss of      record might be in the past. McGov-             Ottawa shows, and support local artists
‘soccer parents,’” jokes McGovern. “I had    fact.”                                        revenue.                                        ern maintains that the traditional way          by allowing their work to be sold on con-
‘music parents.’ Music has always been a        h is “curse” is not something that Mc-        Former End Hits owner, Dave Ward,            of buying and selling music isn’t a dead        signment.                                 f
part of my life.”                            Govern’s critics have ignored either.         sat down with McGovern before he start-         practice.
   McGovern is no stranger to indepen-           “People will ask, ‘Well, why are you      ed on his own music store endeavour, and           “People will always i nd something           he Record Shaap opened its doors on July
dently-owned music stores. Having been       bothering to open another record store        gave him advice in order to prevent his         special in the physical possession of           24th, and can be found at 209 Gilmore St.,
a previous employee of Record Runner,        when [others] have all failed?’” says Mc-     business from failing.                          things, [and] music isn’t an exception to       in the basement of Aunt Olive’s vintage
Organised Sound, CD Exchange, and,           Govern. He believes that his business can        “When End Hits closed, I talked to           this,” he says.                                 clothing store.

                                                                                                                                                                                                         arts&culture 19
  | Sept. 2–15, 2010

Rooies and romance
Ottawa filmmaker explores dark
topic of date rape
Jane Lytvynenko | Fulcrum Contributor
DRUGS, DATE RAPE, alcohol, and male
                                                                                                 spotlight on
domination: these topics dominate Ot-                                                            Charlotte Bailey and Keira Obbard |
tawa native Cody Campanale’s irst short                                                          Fulcrum Contributors
i lm, Rooies and Romance. he 12-min-
ute work captures a night in the life of a                                                       ACID OVERDOSE                                                      JEAN JEWER
date rapist, while he seduces and drugs a
young woman.                                                                                     A FOUR-PIECE PUNK band hailing from the nation’s capital,          IMAGINE ABSTRACT PAINTINGS in various shades of
   “I wanted to create an accurate por-                                                          Acid Overdose is a welcome addition to Ottawa’s hard-core          grey, black, blue, and red. Without outlining anything in
trayal of a sociopathic date rapist,” says                                                       local music scene.                                                 particular, these works evoke the images of trees, winds, and
Campanale. “When you’re doing some-                                                                 Although street punk to the core, Acid Overdose incorpo-        storms. his is what you can expect from Jean Jewer’s work;
thing as controversial as this, and it’s                                                         rates artistic variations in their music, showing how far from     her painting style leaves details—and in some cases subject—
explored in a very blunt and dark way,                                                           an average punk garage band they really are. he band’s lead        to the beholder’s imagination. Now living in Ottawa, she
you automatically can get negative reac-                                                                                                    guitar is distorted     cites her childhood on Canada’s east coast as her inspiration.
tions.”                                                                                                                                     to create a buzz saw    Ater witnessing irst-hand how nature can turn suddenly
   h is isn’t Campanale’s irst work with                                                          Sounds like: Raw sewage; if efect similar to that                 from peaceful to volatile, Jewer drew from these memories
controversial subjects. His i lm compa-                                                                                                     of he Casualties.       to create her art. Juxtaposing ideas of the fragile state of na-
                                                                                                  Leftover Crack had a baby
ny, Lesser Men Productions, began as a                                                                                                      Bypassing the typical   ture and the horriic disturbances that occur within this state,
                                                                                                  with Fleas and Lice.
theatre company devoted to the themes                                                                                                       chord progressions      Jewer creates the scenes of storms in many of her oil paint-
of sexuality, drugs, alcohol, and domi-                                                                                                     featured in most        ings. Jewer feels her art evolves organically, as her paintbrush
nance. He gravitates towards these topics        “Cody’s i lm is short and very well              Check it out: Tracks can                  punk bands, Acid        “lows, gushes, drips, and pours” like the elements she recre-
precisely because they evoke discomfort.      done,” says Siegel. “I see too many female          be found on MySpace at                    Overdose’s aggres-      ates. hese paintings
   “When people shy away from some-           students drunk on the streets of the mar-  and on sive sound is more                      are created on large
thing, it always intrigues me,” he says.      ket late Saturday nights. he incident in            YouTube.                                  reminiscent of post-    canvases, most likely Looks like: The background
Campanale insists that talking about is-      the i lm could easily happen to them.”                                                        grunge street punk.     to draw one into the of a dream you only half-
sues is the irst step to their resolution—       Not all of the reactions to the movie           he band’s singer has a voice that straddles the line between       atmosphere of havoc remember after you’ve
Rooies and Romance is an example of           have been this positive—its mature sub-            singing and screaming, distinguishing Acid Overdose from           she creates. If you woken up.
that.                                         ject matter has caused some to regard it           other screamo bands.                                               love hearing the wind
   Currently working out of Toronto, his      not as a cautionary tale, but as an unjust            Tracks like “Stay Free” and “Demon Eyes” strike a perfect       howl, or enjoy violent Check it out: Jewer’s work
work is gaining recognition—he has cur-       portrayal of masculinity.                          balance between fast and slow tempos. One of the band’s most       thunderstorms, check
                                                                                                                                                                                              can be found online, at
rently shown Rooies and Romance in               “he subject matter doesn’t shout ‘au-           popular tracks, “Insomnia”, features the crowd, both on and        out Jewer’s dark, ab-
three ilm festivals, including the Ottawa     dience-friendly material,’” admits Cam-            of stage, screaming the lyrics back to the band. he track          stract style.
International Film Festival. His work is      panale, who received negative feedback             “Crack Stalker” begins with a disturbing introductory skit
also receiving attention from various         primarily from male audiences.                     that gives meaning to the name “Acid Overdose.”
professors, including ones from the Uni-         “I thought my criticism would come
versity of Ottawa. U of O part-time video     from women not liking that I was doing
production professor Lois Siegel, Campa-      this story, or that I’m a male exploring
nale’s mentor and long-time supporter,        a female story,” says Campanale. “I was
plans to include Rooies and Romance in        surprised that it was completely the op-
her curriculum as an inspiring and edu-       posite ... [Men] thought that I was mak-            Come to the Fulcrum’s
cational ilm.                                 ing them look like villains.”
   “I asked the library to purchase a            His current projects include another              first staff meeting!
copy,” explains Siegel. “It’s perfect for     short movie called Teacher and a full-
my class because it’s a short i lm, and my    length feature called MILF, which he
students make two-minute documentary          hopes to start shooting next summer. f
portraits.” She believes that it has poten-                                                      Thursday, Sept. 9 at 1 p.m.
tial to teach students about ethics and       To check out Rooies and Romance, visit
human rights.                                 Campanale’s website at                     631 King Edward Ave.

We Fled Cairo rocks Ottawa
New album released from U of O math rock musicians
Allan Johnson | Fulcrum Contributor                                                           paper story Mandia read, which told the           “We don’t necessarily sit down and          genre of math rock might not be well-
                                                                                              story of a couple who had led Cairo in         compositionally map out each song,”            recognized, but, according to Mandia, its
OTTAWA ISN’T KNOWN for its post-                                                              order to get married. Because they met at      writes Mandia. “We really want to go for       following in Ottawa is growing.
rock music scene, but, in the heart of the                                                    so many unconventional shows, Monette          a diferent tone with each record and, so           “A lot of great [post-rock] bands in Ot-
capital, there are a few bands unobtru-                                                       and Mandia choose their genre of music         far, with the baritone [guitar], it’s going    tawa … have a massive following because
sively making this type of music. Dave                                                        as math rock.                                  well.” We Fled Cairo’s i rst album, Adult      it’s the sort of the subcultural melting pot
Mandia and Richard Monette are such                                                               “Strictly speaking, the math rock          Braces, was a much anticipated release.        here these days—everyone is starting a
few; they make up the University of Ot-                                                       genre is a subgenre of indie rock that we         “We prefer playing more basement            garage/folky/bluesy rock band,” writes
tawa math rock group We Fled Cairo.                                                           thought decidedly makes sense,” says           shows/unconventional venues than any-          Mandia. “I like the tight-knit little scene
   “We Fled Cairo started roughly four                                                        Mandia, “Because of the number of times        where else,” writes Mandia. “hat being         we have here in Ottawa for people look-
years ago as a more cinematic ambi-                                                           the song may break down into swing             said, we basically just played shows for       ing to exercise a little more objectivity
ent/post-rock project with me doing                                                           time, or just by virtue of how disjunctive     three years without a record to our name,      in the music they’re tuning into, so if the
live drumming and some guitar loops,”                                                         it can end up sounding.”                       so that needed to be taken care of.” Man-      ‘math/post-rock’ scene idles where it is
writes Mandia via an email to the Ful-                                                            Rather than singing about the joys of      dia realizes that math rock isn’t for every-   now, I think that it’s already in a decent
crum. “Around one and a half years ago                                                        parabolas or long division, those who          one, saying their album can shock those        place.”
… the approach [became] markedly                                photo courtesy We Are Cairo   create math rock music write in unusual        who aren’t used to their genre.                                                          f
more rock ‘n’ roll.”                          gan to recognize each other as regulars,        time signatures, paying special attention         “Either you know exactly what to ex-        To check out We Fled Cairo,
   he duo became friends ater meeting         and ater discovering similar interests in       to complex rhythms. We Fled Cairo is           pect in terms of the record aesthetic or       visit
at shows in Ottawa. In the small com-         music and math, they formed We Fled             breaking this norm by experimenting            motif, or you’re caught way of-guard by
munity of indie concert-goers, they be-       Cairo. he name was inspired by a news-          within this genre.                             the way it sounds,” says Mandia. he sub-

20 arts&culutre
FEATURES Jaclyn Lytle | | (613) 562 5258

Dear Di...
Dear Di,                                     to just ask your lusty lover nicely to get a   etiquette is concerned. When can I
So I’m with this guy and I deinitely         little more naughty.                           add him on Facebook? Should I take
like our sexual relationship, but now            Keep in mind COQ, you’re probably          her MSN name personally? What do I
I’m also secretly pining for some            not the only one in your relationship          do if he’s tweeting touchy stuf about
kinky fun. I’ve been dropping some           who has some secret sexy servicing in          our time alone? Her Gmail password is
hints, but he’s not really getting           mind, nor is it likely you’re alone in your    her ex’s name: should I say something?
it. Any suggestions for how to let           apprehension. Chances are he’ll think          hese are all very normal and novel
him know I might like it rough?              there’s nothing sexier than a woman who        concerns that the age of Internet has
                  —Catching On Quickly       knows what she wants—especially when           ushered unexpectedly into our lives.
                                             what she wants is to get kinky with him.           Now CC, I’d be lying if I said there
Dear COQ,                                                                           Love,   wasn’t a vague set of conventions
If I’ve said it once then I’ve said it 100                                            Di    dictating how to conduct yourself in
times: dropping subtle suggestions in the    Dear Di,                                       your online endeavours. For instance,
sack is no way to get what you want. And,    I’ve been living and loving the single         changing your relationship status ater
like most queries and questions that         life for a while now. I meet great guys        the irst date—or ater the i rst ight—is
are sent my way, the key to your coital      all the time, but I ind myself running         dei nitely a futuristic faux pas, but you’d
conundrum is clear-cut communication.        into the same little problem over and          still be hard-pressed to come up with
    Obviously you’re open to talking         over again. Here’s my question: at what        a concrete list of the dos and don’ts of
about your wanton wants and needs with       point is it okay to add a new prospect         computer comportment. Most hi-tech
your partner, but if your approach large-    to Facebook? I like to have that extra         heroes have trouble remembering the                                                         Sudoku and crossword answers on p. 13.
ly consists of reading out snippets from     option to see what’s going on with each        real-world words for their viral vocabu-
Cosmopolitan articles or half-heartedly      other and keep in touch, but I don’t           lary, let alone establishing an in-depth
hoping he’ll suddenly switch his sex         want to come of like I need to check out       standard of online dating decorum.
style to suit your debuting desires, then    every post and photo right of the bat.             Basically CC, this is the kind of situ-
you need to rethink how you’re handling      Is it okay to add straight away? If not,       ation you need to feel out. Wait until
this. You need to be plain about what        how long exactly should I hold of ?            you feel familiar enough with your
you prefer. Exactly how and when you                               —Could-Be Creeper        hoped-for honey that you don’t need
bring the issue up is up to your own dis-                                                   to worry about it being weird, then go
cretion, but the bottom line is: you need    Dear CC,                                       ahead and add. Trust your instincts,
                                             here are no hard and fast rules for            and if you i nd you’ve moved tooto
                                             stepping into social network seduction.                                       fact
                                                                                            soon then take solace in the fac that
                                             Our generation is riding a technologi-         at least it was only a Facebook lub.
                                             cal tidal wave into relatively uncharted                                              Love,
                                             waters—at least as far as Internet                                                       Di

                                                                                               Sexy Sidenote

                                                                                               It is entirely possible for
                                                                                               women to achieve orgasmorga
                                                                                               solely from sensual
                                                                                               stimulation of their nippl
                                                                                               In a group of 213 women
                                                                                               studied, 29 per cent ha  had
                                                                                               experienced at least one on
                                                                                                 “breast orgasm.”
                                                                                                                                           1. Split radially; 6. Small blemish; 10. ___ majesté; 14. ___ Gay; 15. So-
                                                                                                                                           prano Te Kanawa; 16. Affirm solemnly; 17. Dress with care; 18. Frozen
                                                                                                                                           treats; 19. Capital of Switzerland; 20. Brief instant; 21. Gillette razors;
                                                                                                                                           23. One who favors warlike policies; 24. Acclaim; 26. It’s often taken
                                                                                                                                           after exercise; 27. Blazing; 29. Lying flat; 31. Capital of Calvados, in NW
                                                                                                                                           France; 32. Hot-dog topping; 33. Tax pro; 36. One recording the past;
Orphaned projects | XKCD
                                                                                                                                           40. Hesitant sounds; 41. Wash lightly; 42. After the bell; 43. Flat shelf;
                                                                                                                                           44. Short essays; 46. AKA; 48. Inexpensive; 49. Headband; 50. Facial
                                                                                                                                           expression used by Elvis Presley; 52. Turkish title; 55. Collar type; 56.
                                                                                                                                           Emotional state; 57. Impressionist Edgar; 59. “___ quam videri” (North
                                                                                                                                           Carolina’s motto); 60. Annapolis sch.; 61. Affectation of sophisticates;
                                                                                                                                           62. Russian no; 63. Entrance; 64. Orchestra section

                                                                                                                                           1. Workout count; 2. Memo heading; 3. Mute; 4. “Slippery” tree; 5. In-
                                                                                                                                           cendiary fuel; 6. Garment worn by women; 7. Size of type; 8. Minerals;
                                                                                                                                           9. ___ the season...; 10. Likely to change; 11. 2, 4, 6, 8, etc.; 12. Suit
                                                                                                                                           fabric; 13. Cube creator Rubik; 22. ___ kwon do; 23. Small group ruling a
                                                                                                                                           country; 25. Pious platitudes; 26. Rain cats and dogs; 27. Dull pain; 28.
                                                                                                                                           Free from bias; 29. Plain writing; 30. Anger; 32. Monarch; 33. Sparkling
                                                                                                                                           dry white wine; 34. Sneaky guy?; 35. Ancient Athens’s Temple of ___;
                                                                                                                                           37. Mountain nymph; 38. Frees (of); 39. Entreaty; 43. Young roarer; 44.
                                                                                                                                           Common article; 45. Guy who tends goats; 46. Restless; 47. Unfettered;
                                                                                                                                           48. Aromatic wood; 49. Observed; 50. Indifferent; 51. Taboo; 53. Showy
                                                                                                                                           trinket; 54. Warts and all; 56. Mire; 58. Chemical ending
   thethryllabus                                                                              want your event listed on the thryllabus? Email

   Music                                  Sept. 29: A Piano Celebration         Visual Art                             Film                                  Comedy
                                          plays at the National Arts Centre
   Sept. 1, 8, 15, 22, 29: PopScene       (53 Elgin St.). Show is at 8 p.m.     Sept. 3: Tony Fouhse’s month-          Sept. 1: The American released to     Sept. 1, 8, 15, 22, 29: Absolute
   with DJ Emmett at Zaphod                                                     long exhibition User Men opens at      theatres                              Comedy Pros and Amateurs night
   Beeblebrox (27 York St.)               Sept. 30: Mozart’s Triple Crown       La Petite Mort (306 Cumberland                                               at Tailgators (1642 Merivale Rd.),
                                          plays at the National Arts Centre     St.), 7–10 p.m.                        Sept. 1, 2: Babies plays at 7 p.m.    8:30 p.m.
   Sept. 2, 9, 16, 23, 30: Full Flavour   (53 Elgin St.). Show is at 8 p.m.                                            at the Mayfair Theatre (1074 Bank
   with DJ’s Matty and The Retardi-                                             Sept. 4: La Petite Mort (306           St.)                                  Sept. 2–5: Matt Davis, Jeff
   nator at Zaphod Beeblebrox (27         Theatre                               Cumberland St.) hosts the video                                              Tanguay, and Kevin Gasior at Ab-
   York St.)                                                                    release of Jessica Bortutski’s The     Sept. 3, 4, 5, 7, 8: Agora plays at   solute Comedy (412 Preston St.),
                                            Sept. 7: Alt 101 Week               Good Little Bunny With The Big         the Mayfair Theatre (1074 Bank        Thursday at 8:30 p.m., Friday at
   Sept. 4: Nummies, Hands of the FROSH! Burlesque Show at                      Bad Teeth, 7–10 p.m.                   St.), 7 p.m showtime, every night     8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m., Saturday
   Few, Sketchy Poutine, Winslow,           Agora, 8 p.m.                                                              except the fifth, which plays at       at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m., and
   Knives and Forks for Freedom,                                                Sept. 5: Katherine Mcenly’s Solo       6:30 p.m.                             Sunday at 8 p.m.
   The Krapskraps, and Haywired all  Sept. 28– Oct. 2: Les Justes runs          Exhibition of Contemporary Real-
   play Maverick’s (221 Rideau St.)  at the National Arts Centre (53            ist Paintings runs at Cube Gallery        Sept. 6: Outdoor show-             Sept. 4, 11, 18, 25: Improv Night
                                     Elgin St.), 7:30 p.m. showtimes.           (1285 Wellington St.) from 2–5     FROSH! ing of Date Night on               with comedy troupe Insensitivity
   Sept. 5, 12, 19, 26: Trailer Park                                            p.m.                                      Tabaret lawn at 9 p.m.             Training at Yuk Yuk’s (292 Elgin
   Bingo at Zaphod Beeblebrox (27    Workshops                                                                                                               St.). Shows start at 9 p.m.
   York St.), 9 p.m.                                                            Sept. 10: Philippe Jusforgues two-     Sept. 7: Outdoor showing of
                                         Sept. 5: Venus Envy “Go-               week long exhibition Collages and      Iron Man 2 on Tabaret lawn at         Sept. 6, 13, 20, 27: Open Mic
        Sept. 6: Annual Fedstock FROSH! ing Down” workshop in                   Manipulated Works opens at La          9 p.m.                                Monday at Absolute Comedy (412
FROSH! concert featuring 30 Sec-         Marion Auditorium, 5                   Petite Mort (306 Cumberland St.)                                             Preston St.), 8:30 p.m.
        onds to Mars, Les Trois     p.m.                                                                               Sept. 10: Resident Evil: Afterlife
   Accords, The Balconies, Songs                                                Now–Sept. 12: Without A                released to theatres                  Sept. 8–12: Mike Paterson,
   from a Room, and Lucky Uke      Now–Sept. 19: “Pop Talks”, a daily           Camera… Photograms from the                                                  Deanne Smith, and Dred Lee at
                                          in-depth discussion of one of the     National Gallery of Canada ends        Sept. 10: Hugh Hefner: Playboy,       Absolute Comedy (412 Preston
   Sept. 9: SFUO presents the             works in the Pop Life exhibition at   its run at the National Gallery (380   Activist and Rebel plays at the       St.), Thursday at 8:30 p.m., Friday
   first ever Luminata urban arts          the National Gallery (380 Sussex      Sussex Dr.).                           Bytowne Cinema (325 Rideau St.),      at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m., Satur-
   and music festival                     Dr.). 1 p.m. daily.                                                          9:15 p.m showtime.                    day at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m., and
                                                                                Now–Sept. 19: PopLife: Art in a                                              Sunday at 8 p.m.
   Sept. 10: Hatebreed, Dead and          Now–Sept. 15: “Where Do You           Material World exhibition closes at    Sept. 11: The Rocky Horror
   Divine, and Emmure play Capital        Draw the Line?” drop-in drawing       the National Gallery (380 Sussex       Picture Show plays at the Mayfair     Sept. 15–19: Slim Bloodworth and
   Music Hall (151 George St.). 19+       workshops at the National Gallery     Dr.)—this is your last chance to       Theatre (1074 Bank St.), 11 p.m       Fraser Youngat Absolute Comedy
   show, starts at 7 p.m.                 (380 Sussex Dr.). 2 p.m. every        see the exhibition that rocked the     showtime.                             (412 Preston St.), Thursday at
                                          Wednesday.                            city all summer long.                                                        8:30 p.m., Friday at 8 p.m. and
   Sept. 10: Grace Over Diamonds                                                                                       Sept. 22: You Will Meet a Tall        10:30 p.m., Saturday at 8 p.m.
   plays Maverick’s (221 Rideau St.)                                            Sept. 24: At Land’s End confer-        Dark Stranger released to theatres    and 10:30 p.m., and Sunday at 8
                                          Miscellaneous Happenings              ence and photographic presen-                                                p.m.
          Sept. 11: 101 Week                                                    tation hosted by David Trattles,       Sept. 21: Mad Max plays at the
                                                 Sept. 5: 101 Week Camp
    SH! closing ceremonies             FROSH! Fortune excursion                 12:30 p.m. at Arts Court (2 Daly       Bytowne Cinema (325 Rideau St.),      Sept. 22–26: Fraser Young, Monty
           and concert on Tabaret                                               Ave.)                                  9:10 p.m. showtime.                   Scott, and Jordan Chyzkowsi at
        lawn. Concert features                                                                                                                               Absolute Comedy (412 Preston
                                          Sept. 6: Alt 101 Vegan Break-
   Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker,                                                   Now–Sept. 26: Angela Grauer-           Sept. 24: Legend of the Guard-        St.), Thursday at 8:30 p.m., Friday
                                          fast at Cafe Alt., 8:30 a.m.
   Radio Radio, Whale Tooth, and                                                holz: The Inexhaustible Image          ians: The Owl of Ga’Hoole             at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m., Satur-
   Hot Shot Casino.                                                             exhibition reaches its end at the      released to theatres                  day at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m., and
                                          Sept. 6: OPIRG Free Store and
                                                                                National Gallery (380 Sussex                                                 Sunday at 8 p.m.
                                          Freedom Painters event at 10
   Sept. 22: Emanuel Ax & Mozart                                                Dr.)—another awesome exhibition        Sept. 28: Teenage Paparazzo
                                          a.m. outside the Unicentre.
   plays at the National Arts Centre                                            with only limited viewing time left.   plays at the Bytowne Cinema (325
   (53 Elgin St.). Show is at 8 p.m.                                                                                   Rideau St.), 9:20 p.m. showtime.
                                          Sept. 7: Shinerama takes over
                                                                                Now–Sept. 26: Louis Helbig’s
   Sept. 22: French bands Arctic and                                            Beautiful Destruction exhibition
   Bruxelles play Zaphod Beeblebrox                                             of aerial photographs taken above
                                          Sept. 8: 101 Week Iftar Dinner
   (27 York St.).                                                               the Alberta tar sands runs at the
                                          on Tabaret Lawn celebrating
                                                                                City Hall Art Gallery (110 Laurier
                                          the end of Ramadan
   Sept. 23, 24: The Escher Quartet                                             Ave. W.)
   plays at National Arts Centre (53
                                          Sept. 9: Feminist Self-Defence
   Elgin St.). 12 p.m. shows.
                                          Workshop, 10 a.m. at the Uni-
                                          centre Terminus
   Sept. 24: Galaxy plays Maverick’s
   (221 Rideau St.)
                                          Sept. 9: Gather on Morisset
                                          Terrace at 7:45 p.m. for Take
   Sept. 24: Mozart’s Serenade plays
                                          Back the Night rally and march
   at the National Arts Centre (53
   Elgin St.). Show is at 8 p.m.
                                          Now–Sept. 12: Mosaika Sound
                                          and Light Show on Parliament Hill,
   Sept. 25: The Concerto Accord-
                                          9:30 p.m. nightly.
   ing to Pinchas, Live! plays at the
   National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.).
                                          Sept. 25: Walk for Smiles Ot-
   Show is at 8 p.m.
                                          tawa in support of the Starlight
                                          Children’s Foundation Canada,

                                                                                   sept. 2–oct.2
   Sept. 25: Band Madison and Fifth
                                          10 a.m at Dow’s Lake Pavillion.
   plays Zaphod Beeblebrox (27 York
                                          Online registration forms available

 EXECUTIVE EDITOR Mercedes Mueller | | (613) 562 5261          | Sept. 2–Sept.16, 2010

Inglorious masturbators
One man’s search for a meaningful Chatroulette connection
Hisham Kelati | Fulcrum Contributor            tion were either guys in the midst of get-
                                               ting themselves of or guys who wanted
TEN SECONDS INTO watching some                 me to show them my dick. he toll of
guy beat his dick like it owed him money,      pervs was building in me a growing re-
a thought popped into my head: “I won-         sentment of Chatroulette—one that was
der if his microphone is turned on.”           quickly replacing the faint hope of a ce-
    Out of context, the above scenario is      lebrity sighting and the need to i nd a
quite disturbing; in context, well, it’s not   meaningful connection capable of justi-
much more comforting. But such is the          fying watching more male masturbation
life of a Chatroulette user. Launched in       than any one person should ever see in a
November 2009, Chatroulette is a website       lifetime.
that randomly pairs up users for a web-            My assessment of Chatroulette users
cam-based conversation, complete with          can be summed up by these four cat-
audio and text components.                     egories: brand-new users exceedingly
    And it’s addictive, oh-so-magniicent-      excited about Chatroulette; young creeps
ly addictive. he novelty, the mystery, the     trolling for jailbait; 50-plus dirty old men
pure excitement that, at the next push of      trolling for jailbait; and, i nally, the mas-
the F9 button, you could be talking with       turbators.
a stranger from any corner of the globe—           Although through the website I met
be it a surprisingly polite skinhead from      briely, and exchanged very quick helloes
Louisiana or a man who looks suspi-            with, people from places like Portugal
ciously like a 75-year-old Elvis.              and New Zealand, Chatroulette is noth-
    For my irst foray onto Chatroulette,       ing more than a domain dedicated to fat
my goal was simple: make a meaningful          guys touching themselves.
connection with someone. It didn’t mat-            I’ll tell those who are on the fence about
ter who that person was, or where he/          Chatroulette to hold out until the end of
she came from—I just wanted some con-          the year when the site goes mainstream
versation. Unfortunately, the process of       and the playground culture has appro-
making this happen proved harder than
I imagined.
                                               priated the term “nexted;” meanwhile,
                                               CSI Las Vegas will have aired an episode
                                                                                                                   Chatroulette is
    My i rst connection was with a love-
ly hipster-looking couple who waved
                                               about a crime that centres around a live
                                               murder on a Chatroulette-like site called                             nothing more
excitedly and asked how I was doing,           “Revolver-Talk.” Reason being, the site
but before I could answer my browser
crashed. An update to Firefox 3.6 later,
                                               going mainstream may bring in a higher
                                               number of normal people and weed out
                                                                                                                   than a website
I was faced with a guy masturbating. I
nexted—a verb here which means “to hit
                                               the perverts.
                                                   If you can’t wait to check it out, go for                      dedicated to fat
the ‘next’ button, thus terminating an         it, but don’t expect to make a connec-
undesirable meeting and bringing about
a new one”—to a couple of German guys
                                               tion early in the process. It will take time
                                               (three hours over a two-day span, in my
                                                                                                                    guys touching
in a basement dancing to techno music
with a large rubber duck. I nexted to a
                                               case), an indomitable spirit, and a high-
                                               tolerance for male full-frontal nudity.
pair of older gentlemen in drag who                Which brings me back in full circle
nexted me to another masturbating guy.         to the beginning of this article—back to
One courteous skinhead and an old El-          the masturbating guy. I could hear rus-
vis later, I found myself with another         tling noises coming from his end and, if
guy lying solo. I nexted to i nd a young       he was an exhibitionist as he seemed, his
couple in the throes of passion, and           mic probably was on.
20 minutes later I nexted to a creepy-             I cleared my throat and got no reac-
looking man from the country of Geor-          tion. I said “hello,” but still no reaction.
gia who played the piano for me. A few         I began to get annoyed by his unabashed
drunk German soldiers later, I ended up        wanking and decided to let him know.
with yet another guy touching himself,             “Hey buddy, you gonna light that
followed by three more, and then several       child-sized cigarette or what?”
blank screens.                                     No reaction.
    For all potential Chatroulette users,          “I bet you have a huge ‘peeing on your
some friendly advice: for starters, leave      balls’ problem.”
your self-esteem at the door. For most             A slight decrease in fervour, but still
encounters, within the irst two seconds,       no reaction.
you will be immediately nexted. As with            “You have an incredibly tiny dick.
any given chance interaction, some peo-        Why is God punishing you?”
ple may choose to not engage.                      he guy stops. He grabs hold of the
    Also, this site is not for the faint of    camera and angles it to his face. He’s a
heart. As expected, there’s a dark side to     chubby, greasy-looking 20-something.
this online world: in this case, it’s in the   He sneers at me and spits out in anger,
form of a legion of men—never girls—           “Fuck you, asshole!” before nexting me to
who furiously jerk of on camera.               a black screen.
    At this point in my quest, it seemed           Success.
that the only people who were going to             Meaningful Chatroulette connection
bother to follow through with a connec-        made.                                        f
    | Sept. 2–15, 2010

  WWSD?                                                                                 heckles                                                            ntributors
                                                                                                                    Peter Flynn and Aaron Hunt | Fulcrum Contributors

  (What would Schumter do? )                                                                                                         campaign. Abusing the money received
                                                                                                                                     from referendums to fund the mandates
  Mercedes Mueller
                                                                                        buses, and
                                                                                                                                     of these services is simply another exam-
  Executive Editor                                                                                                                   ple of the contempt shown by the SFUO
                                                                                                                                     for the source of their funds—our wal-

How to… start the semester off right                                                                                                    It appears as though a pattern
                                                                                                                                     exists at our student federation that
YOU KNOW THE drill. One warm                before they’re due; don’t buy and open                                                   indicating a complete lack of regard
September day you are learning what         a textbook the day before a midterm or      HAVE SOME RESPECT for students’              for who really funds these expenditures.
a demand curve is and then faster           i nal exam; and, for the love of God, go    money.                                       At the end of the day, the funds are com-                    can’t even practice what it
than you can say “An Inquiry into the       to class.                                      It has recently come to our attention     ing from students through the fees we                        preaches? If that isn’t “drop
Nature and Causes of the Wealth of                                                      that the campaigns department for the        pay every year. h is year alone, full-time                 fees hypocrisy,” then what is.
Nations,” you are deriving a Marshal-       Make a friend in every class                Student Federation of the University of      students may be paying over $635 in vari-         It’s time for students at the University
lian demand curve using Sheppard’s          Class friends are the best friends you’ll   Ottawa (SFUO) has decided to acquire “I      ous fees and costs to the SFUO.                of Ottawa to move on from the “tax and
lemma—or something like that. Ever          ever have in university. Not only will      <3 U-PASS” buttons. Yeah, ater the U-           hese events leave us wondering if           spend” mentality of the current ilk who
wondered what a semester without            you always have someone to grab a beer      Pass has already been implemented, they      anyone at the SFUO really cares about          have run the SFUO executive over the
all-nighters, mental breakdowns, end-       with ater a rough exam, but these are       got buttons that state how much they love    how much student money they’re using           past couple of years. If the SFUO and the
less excuses, and bad grades would feel     the people from whom you can borrow         their pass.                                  every year. And if, perhaps, they could        Board of Administration can’t i nd a way
like? Check out these six steps and I       notes if you miss a class or work with         We hope there are other individuals       try to show some respect for our wallets       to slash student fees, then perhaps it’s
can guarantee you a successful semes-       on assignments. You should have one         out there who i nd this kind of wasteful     for a change.                                  time to take a look at doing it by way of
ter. And if they don’t work, well, I’ll     friend in every class that you can rely     spending as disrespectful as we do. Re-         All this brings us back to a more im-       referendum. Students could knock $300
write your fake doctor’s note for you.      on—ideally someone who takes school         gardless of one’s feelings over the SFUO’s   portant point: while the SFUO seems to         of their student fees simply by voting to
                                            somewhat seriously.                         new U-Pass, to acquire buttons that re-      have no problem raising student fees for       do so.
Buy a calendar… and use it                                                              lect their lovely-dovey feelings regard-     their own purposes, they continue to ex-          So what’s stopping us? Nothing but the
Believe it or not, calendars serve a pur-   Use the resources available to you          ing their accomplishment ater the refer-     plicitly endorse a campaign called “Drop       apathy of the “silent majority” of students
pose beyond i lling grey wall space in      And no, I don’t just mean the Academic      endum has already passed is excessive to     Fees,” calling on governments to reduce        who are turned of student politics by the
a doctor’s oice. Buy a four-month,          Writing Help Centre. I’m talking about      say the least.                               student tuition. Indeed, in the last few       nepotism practiced by the SFUO—a si-
dry-erase calendar at the University of     your teaching assistants and profes-           Speaking of waste, a major expendi-       years student fees have increased by over      lence that has allowed them to steadily
Ottawa Bookstore and i ll in all the im-    sors—you know, those people at the          ture earlier this summer by some of the      $300 due in no small part to the policies      increase our student fees in the last cou-
portant dates: midterms, assignments,       front of your class getting paid obscene    SFUO’s services, including Foot Patrol,      of the SFUO.                                   ple years alone.
essays, and exams. hese calendars are       amounts of money to teach. Sure, they       was to rent a bus to send people to Toron-      And so, the question we are let ask-            We think it’s about time for the aver-
laid out in a way that lets you see your    may be intimidating with their mul-         to. Why? To protest the G20, of course,      ing is: why would a government of any          age student to take a stand by rallying
semester—and when you need to be            tiple degrees and use of big words, but     even though it wasn’t an oicial SFUO         political stripe take seriously a group that   to—you guessed it—drop fees.               f
busting ass—all at once.                    these people live and breathe your ield
                                            of study—and can probably explain it
Find a study space                          to you better than a Wikipedia article.

                                                                                         USED SAVES
In my experiences, where you study
impacts the quality of studying you ac-     Find time to chill
complish. For example, I have a friend      Part of being a good student is hav-
that insists he gets his best studying      ing the ability to optimize your utility
done smoking a joint with his friends       subject to work and leisure constraints.
while blaring Bonobo amidst a “study        Basically, you need time to study in
barbeque.” He was also almost kicked        order to get good grades because this
out of university. Twice. You should        will make you happy; however, you
i nd a quiet, clean, and distraction-free   also need time to chill out in order
workspace—be it at home or on cam-          to avoid a breakdown because good
pus.                                        mental health will make you happy. It
                                            all comes down to balance. Take time
Be a good student                           out of your day to do something you
If you want good grades in university,      enjoy—be it watching YouTube videos
there is only one way to get them—          or performing yoga—because it is this
well, short of performing illegal acts.     time that will keep you sane.
Seriously though, you’ll get the most
out of your pricey university career by     Mercedes and her associates are experts
being a good student. h is means com-       on everything under the sun, from 18th
plete your assigned readings before         century agrarian business policies to the
class; review your notes ater each lec-     art of getting laid. Send your “how to”
ture; don’t start assignments the night     requests to

Q: What kind of
relationships do
typophiles prefer?

A: The open type.
                                                                                                                    Used textbooks save up to
Be open.                                                                                                         25% over the price of new books.
Volunteer at the
Fulcrum.                                                                                               The University of Ottawa Bookstore
                                                                                                             85 University          

 24 opinion
                                                                                                                                                           | Sept. 2–15, 2010

HELLO. My name is...
Meet the characters gracing your classroom this fall
Mercedes Mueller | Fulcrum Staff

               EET YOUR FELLOW
               classmates. You sit next
               to them everyday, attempt
               to copy of them during
exams, and, sometimes, even befriend a
couple of them. But, for the most part,
you spend your lecture looking around
wondering what the hell is the deal with
these people. Here’s just several of the
kids you can expect to see in each course,
every semester, until you graduate.

The teacher’s pet
Just like in elementary school, each uni-
versity class has a teacher’s pet. You’ll see
her walking your professor to class, talk-
ing to him or her at break, and hanging
back ater the lecture i nishes so she can
rattle of more useless facts meant to im-
press your prof.
Best known for: Monopolizing the pro-
fessor’s time.
You’ll hate her because: Of the hour-
long wait outside your prof’s oice every
time she’s in there—which is every oice

The ridiculously over-dressed kids
For these students, being in class is like
being at a job—and with their blouses
and blazers, they dress like they work on
Wall Street.
Best known for: Pencil skirts, stilettos,
silk ties, and Italian leather laptop bags.
You’ll hate them because: hey will
make you feel so homely you’ll feel com-
pelled to trade in your oh-so-comfortable
sweats for something from Banana Re-

The tardy kid
As if he can’t igure out how to set his
                                                                                                                                                                                                        illustration by Alex Martin
alarm clock 15 minutes earlier, the tardy
kid shows up for class late every day. Ater
loudly shutting the classroom door, nois-       tion per lecture has anything to do with    ginning of the State of the Union?            The class couple                                 The Internet junkie
ily making his way to the back of class,        the topic at hand.                          You’ll hate him because: You’re the only      You actually get to watch their romance          hese kids—there are at least 20 in every
selecting the creakiest chair, and open-        Best known for: His freakishly fast arm-    person he doesn’t seem to know.               unfold: one day they’re sitting on oppo-         course—always come to class, laptop in
ing his notebook, he’s i nally ready… to        raising abilities.                                                                        site sides of the classroom, a week later        hand. hey’ll open a word document,
go back to sleep.                               You’ll hate him because: Your professor     The gossip girls                              they’re sitting beside each other, and the       name it “Lecture 10,” and then embark
Best known for: Complete obliviousness.         can’t get through a lecture with this kid   Apparently unaware the couches in the         next day they’re holding hands before,           on a 80-minute journey through the
You’ll hate him because: He always              in class. You may also love him for this    University Centre or Second Cup are           ater, and during lectures. How adorably          World Wide Web. h ree thousand Face-
looks well-rested.                              reason.                                     more comfortable and conducive to             revolting.                                       book pictures, 15 blogs, 13 tweets, nine
                                                                                            conversation, these girls come to the lec-    Best known for: Completely inappropri-           MSN conversations, four visits to BBC
The daydreamer                                  The serial texter                           tures just to i ll each other in on what’s    ate displays of afection.                        News, and an episode of Mad Men later,
Spending most of the lecture doodling           Seconds into your lecture, she whips out    happened since last class. But don’t you      You’ll hate them because: How are you            class is over and Lecture 10 appears to be
in her notebook or looking outside the          her Blackberry and begins texting. You      dare turn around and give them the “I’m       supposed to solve the prisoner’s dilemma         about “essay due next week.”
window, the daydreamer always comes to          have a hunch most of these texts are un-    a serious student and you’re driving me       when the class couple is going to second         Best known for: heir ridiculous multi-
class and never learns a thing. he only         necessary—“Hey girl, are we still getting   crazy” stare or you’ll become the next        base beside you? hat, and you’re totally         tasking skills.
time she acknowledges her surroundings          shithammered at Tila later?”—and you        topic of conversation.                        jealous you aren’t getting rubbed down           You’ll hate them because: You’ll wish
is when the professor attacks her with a        know they are annoying as fuck.             Best known for: Not-so-quiet whisper-         every class.                                     you would have brought your laptop to
surprise question—professors can pick           Best known for: he time she forgot to       ing and giggling. Oh, the giggling.                                                            class.
out these kids like a bro can spot a kegger     put her phone on silent during the mid-     You’ll hate them because: ...Did I men-       The smart ass
i lled with drunk girls.                        term… and the i nal exam.                   tion they giggle?                             h is student divides her time between            The eye candy
Best known for: hat glazed-over, stoned         You’ll hate her because: he sound of a                                                    correcting the professor and engaging in         Genetically blessed with a smoking body
look in her eyes.                               vibrating phone on a hard surface every     The I’ve-got-better-things-to-do kid          a dialogue with the prof on an advanced          and face made for Vogue, it’s hard to
You’ll hate her because: While you’re           30 seconds makes nails on a chalkboard      h is student feels the need to leave class    topic no one else understands (or cares          understand why these students bother
trying to understand Marx’s circuit of          sound like Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.      10 to 15 minutes early. You will spend ev-    about). She believes she should be teach-        coming to class when they could be
capital, you just know she’s writing a Pu-                                                  ery class wondering if this guy is a secret   ing the course—and launches a mini               gracing the runways of Paris or Milan.
litzer Prize-winning book.                      The popular kid                             government agent always running of to         coup every class.                                Either way, they make 8:30 a.m. classes
                                                It seems as though this student is best     impromptu government meetings. Sweet          Best known for: Starting sentences with,         worth waking up for.
The hand raiser                                 friends with everyone in your class—he      job or not, each class he will noisily pack   “Well, last night when I was reading [in-        Best known for: heir sweet asses.
Remember when Socrates kept ask-                even plays a weekly squash game with the    up his books, give the professor a nod,       sert book not on the syllabus that your          You’ll hate them because: hey will
ing questions, and then was sentenced           awkward daydreamer.                         and strut out the door.                       prof hasn’t even read]…”                         never sleep with you.                 f
to death (more or less)? Apparently the         Best known for: hat conident, drawn         Best known for: All the jokes the prof        You’ll hate her because: She makes you feel
hand raiser skipped that class. On aver-        out walk to his chair, stopping to shake    cracks at his expense ater he leaves.         stupid. hen again, she reminds you what
age, he will ask the professor one ques-        hands and exchange greetings with every     You’ll hate him because: You wish you         your life would be like if you stayed up until
tion per 10 minutes—and only one ques-          student. What is this—the freakin’ be-      had the balls to leave class early, too.      5 a.m. reading the Economist every night.
                                                                                                                                                                                                             opinion 25

Global knowledge.                                                    Professor David J. Smith
    Local learning.                                                  Faculty of Education
Expand your horizons and                                             A World Without Bullying:
challenge your assumptions – join
                                                                     Roles for Adults
us for the University of Ottawa’s
free public lecture series!                                          University of Ottawa Faculty of Education Professor J. David Smith
                                                                     will examine the problem of bullying and explore ways adults can
The University of Ottawa is proud to present                         contribute efectively to eliminating bullying among the children
the President’s Lecture Series — a series of                         and youth in their care in his lecture A World Without Bullying:
stimulating public lectures on a variety of                          Roles for Adults, on September 15.
topics, from some of uOttawa’s leading thinkers
on current events and global trends.                                 The lecture will take place at 7 p.m. in room
                                                                     4101, Desmarais Building.

                                                                                                                           Media partners:
                                                  All lectures are free and open to the public. Check
                                                  listings and reserve your spot today online at
EDITOR–IN–CHIEF Amanda Shendruk | | (613) 562 5261

 Volume 71, Issue 2, Sept. 2–15

 Enjoying 101 Week since 1942.

 Phone: (613) 562 5261 | Fax: (613) 562 5259
 631 King Edward Ave. Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5

 Recycle this please.

 Amanda ‘sleep all day’ Shendruk

 Jessie ‘what happened?’ Willms
 Production Manager

 Mercedes ‘party thrower’ Mueller
 Executive Editor

 Alex ‘cruise captain’ Martin
 Art Director

 Katherine ‘drunk dialer’ DeClerq
 News Editor

 Charlotte ‘concert going’ Bailey
 Arts & Culture Editor

 Jaclyn ‘food ighting’ Lytle
 Features Editor

 Jaehoon ‘cheer-of champ’ Kim
 Sports Editor

 Briana ‘hold my hair’ Hill
 Associate News Editor                                                                                                                                                                              photo illustration by Alex Martin

 Katarina ‘relay race’ Lukich

                                               Need a cause? We can help
 Volunteer & Visibility Coordinator

 David ‘campus guide’ McClelland
 General Manager

 Andrew ‘out all night’ Wing
 Advertising Representative

                                                        IKE SPRING, SEPTEMBER and             to process another payment in January.        order to access the lobby and secretary      lacking in nutritious options, the many
 contributors                                           the start of the school year has      It’s a tough battle, because if even only     of administrators on the second loor of      U of O cafeterias make eating on cam-
                                                        an air of new beginnings. here        a third of undergraduate students were        Tabaret, as well as the Dean of Science in   pus a chore. he ring of pubs around
 Devin Beauregard
                                                        are fresh faces on campus and         unable to pay their tuition in full, the U    Marion, you must get past a locked door.     the university perimeter are no help
 Julie Bortolotti
 Natasha Chaykowski                            new lectures to attend. You get a haircut,     of O rakes in approximately $350,000.         h is sends the message that students are     either. None ofer exceptional quality,
 Amanda Daniels                                buy a snazzy sweater vest, arrange your        First introduced in 2000, the fee was $40;    not welcome, and a dialogue is not want-     and while they are great for a night out,
 Dani-Elle Dube                                shiny laptop neatly in your brand-new          however, protestations from the Gradu-        ed. Students: stop scaring the personnel!    they’re frustrating if you’re looking for a
 Sarah Duguay                                  messenger bag, and, if you’re like many of     ate Students’ Association managed to          Administrators: stop being scared of a       grease-free lunch.
 Joshua Flear                                  the students at the U of O, you i nd your      drop the charge to $20. Now almost back       bunch of students!
 Peter Flynn
                                               cause du jour. If activism is your thing—      up to it’s original sum, it’s worth another                                                Late exam schedule
 Sarah Gisèle
 Andrew Hawley                                 or if you happen to be an administrator        ight.                                         Food FAIL                                    Forget about getting seat-sale tickets
 Laurel Hogan                                  who reads our humble publication—the                                                         It may not be diicult to i nd beer or fast   home for the holidays; the University of
 Aaron Hunt                                    Fulcrum editorial board has compiled a         Paranoid personnel                            food around campus, but it certainly         Ottawa doesn’t release your course exam
 Bryan Jarvis                                  list of what we think are the four things      It’s no secret that an unfortunate divide     is diicult to i nd good, healthy eats at     schedule until at least a month and a half
 Allan Johnson
                                               most in need of change at the U of O.          exists on the U of O campus. For many         an afordable price. It’s not a secret that   into the semester—the sales are over
 Hisham Kelati
 Serge Lafontaine                                                                             years, student unions and individual          students are dissatisied with campus         and exorbitant prices are all that’s let.
 Jane Lytvynenko                               $35 administrative fee                         students alike have antagonized the           cooking; there’s even a Facebook dis-        If other universities can put out an ear-
 Anton Ninkov                                  Students unable to pay both semesters of       university      administration—claiming       cussion board called “How much does          lier exam schedule, or even publish exam
 Kiera Obbard                                  tuition in a single transaction are slapped    lack of transparency, alleging systemic       Chartwells blow balls?” Earlier this         dates along with the course calendar, why
 Maria Rondon
                                               with a $35 fee. It may not seem like a lot,    racism, and, on occasion, calling for the     year, students organized an “Anything        can’t the U of O? It would save us all some
 Tyler Shendruk
 Ryan Smeeton                                  but it’s the principle that’s bothersome—      resignation of President Allan Rock. Ad-      but Chartwells Day” in an attempt to         money, and our parents a lot of grief.
 Alex Smyth                                    it’s a tax on the poor. It’s hard to believe   ministrative personnel have responded         express their concerns over campus
                                               that it really requires $35 worth of work      by quite literally locking students out. In   cuisine. Expensive, poor quality, and        

 Cover art by Alex Martin

   | Sept. 2-15.

Six res dos and don’ts
Keeping keys handy and quiet sex just two things
to remember when living with others
Sarah Gisèle | Fulcrum Contributor               you like White Russians.
                                                                                                 DON’T borrow stuff from your room-
NEWCOMERS TO RESIDENCE are                       DO keep the sex quiet                           mates without asking first and specify-
all equipped with the same list of dos           If your roommate is staying in to study         ing a purpose
and don’ts: do get involved, don’t eat           on St. Patrick’s Day, perhaps it would be       Last year, my roommate was getting
junk food, do introduce yourself to new          a good idea to refrain from having (loud)       ready to go on a date, and he popped his
people, and so on. hese pieces of advice         sex on the kitchen table outside her            head in my room to see if I had a pair of
are all well and good, but they certainly        room. he last thing she wants to hear           scissors he could borrow. I passed him
don’t prepare anyone to handle real-             while trying to digest the idea of syllo-       the scissors I was using for a project,
life situations in res. For example, what        gisms is “Oh yeah, spank me harder!”            only to i nd them perched on the side of
should you do if your roommate calls at          Not speaking from personal experience,          the bathtub later that night—covered in
3 a.m. to tell you that he met Cuba Good-        of course.                                      pubes. All I can say is, I hope that date
ing Jr. at a club and wants to bring the                                                         went well.
Oscar-award winning actor home for an            DO keep your keys handy at all times
ater-party. hat being one of many situ-          Don’t be the person who makes drunk-            DON’T invite randoms over without
ations I tackled while living in residence,      en, incoherent calls to their roommates         permission from your roommates
I only wish I had this list at the time.         pleading for them to let you back into res      I can guarantee that your roommates
                                                 at four a.m. You will end up sleeping in        will not be impressed if they step into
DO stock up on mix                               the University Centre, and those couches        the living room in the wee hours of the
Follow the Boy Scouts’ motto and always          aren’t as comfy as they look.                   morning to see a dozen new faces passed
be prepared; however, this does not mean                                                         out on the loor. No amount of expla-
carrying a Swiss Army knife and i re             DON’T break shit                                nation will rectify this situation, even
starters. It means surveying your fridge         Contrary to popular belief, indulging in        by saying “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you:
contents before pre-drinking. here’s             your destructive side and kicking a hole        I met these guys in the parking lot of
nothing worse than spending your last            through drywall is NOT a good way to            Metro when we were headed home from
20 bucks on a bottle of vodka only to dis-       make friends. If you break shit, other          the club and they seem totally chill! And
cover that your mix choices are limited          people in res will have to pay for the          they all have matching electronic ankle
to milk and Crystal Light—unless you’re          damage, and they will be likely to inl ict      bracelets!”                             f
going through a Big Lebowski phase and           the same damage on your face.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            illustration by Devin Beauregard

Student card secrets
Discounts and deals for U of O students

Amanda Shendruk | Fulcrum Staff                            Student Price Card (
                                                           his card is easily worth the $9 for all the money
FROSH, YOU NOW possess the Holy Grail of perks,            you will save on cofee alone. he most student-
savings, and discounts—your student card. It is            friendly feature of this card is the ofer of a free up-
your ticket to a more afordable life away from your        size of any beverage at Second Cup. If cafeine isn’t
parents’ pocket. Treat this little piece of plastic like   your cult of choice, there are loads of other great
your new best friend; take it everywhere and lash          SPC ofers, including a 10–15 per cent discount at
it liberally. Imagine yourself as a badge-happy, self-     American Eagle Outitters, Aldo, Payless Shoes,
important investigator on a bad crime-scene drama.         French Connection, Levi’s Store, Mexx, and Esprit.
Your student identiication may not get you across
yellow tape, but it will get you a better cell-phone       Bluesfest (
plan, a dirt-cheap haircut, a magazine subscription        Ottawa’s own popular, but expensive, summer music
for laundry change, and a symphony concert that is         festival ofers students 25 or younger the option of
easy on the wallet.                                        purchasing two rush tickets per day at the discount-
    he Fulcrum has done a bit of homework for              ed price of $20 each.
you—don’t expect this all year—and found some of
the best savings your card can deliver. Get out there      Ottawa Little Theatre (
and take advantage of your student status!                 If you’re fond of the dramatic, head just down the
                                                           street to Ottawa Little heatre and witness ine act-
Student Saver Card (                       ing at an afordable rate. Students need only pay $10
he Student Saver Card is fabulously free and ofers         (instead of $24) for a great night of theatre. Keep in
you discounts around the city, the province, and the       mind: most theatres in the city ofer some form of
country. Some of the deals in Ottawa include: 20 per       student discount, so wherever your thespian travels
cent of food at Avant-Garde, a 15 per cent discount        take you, make sure to ask about their student dis-
at clothing boutique Milk, two for one appetizers at       counts.
the Honest Lawyer, and a 10 per cent discount at Ot-
tawa’s erotic emporium Venus Envy.                         The National Arts Centre (
                                                           he NAC ofers great deals for students, including
International Student Identity Card (             season subscriptions at 50 per cent of, a limited
                                                                                                                                                                                                              MY PICTURE
As members of the Canadian Federation of Students,         number of half-price student tickets for most shows,                                                                                               PERFECT CARD
U of O card-holders can pick up the $20 card for free      and the opportunity to join the popular Live Rush                                                                                                  CREATE YOUR OWN FREE, PERSONALIZED CARD1 AT

at the student federation oice. he ISIC card, which        program. Live Rush afords students the chance to                                                                                         
ofers discounts on travel around the world, ofers 30       purchase specially discounted tickets—only $11—to
per cent of regular economy fare travel with VIA           the majority of performances. Go to for
rail and a 25 per cent discount on adult Greyhound         more information and to register to become a free
tickets. hese are just two of the perks of this plastic.   Live Rush member.                                  f
                                                                                                                            * VISA Int. / Fédération des caisses Desjardins du Québec, authorized user. 1 Certain conditions and restrictions apply.

    2 frosh
                                                                                                                                                          | Sept. 2-15

Orgasmic Ottawa
                                                                                                                                                A word to the wise from the
                                                                                                                                                U of O’s resident racy columnist
Dear Di introduces you to a very sexy city
Di Daniels | Fulcrum Staff                       fun classes in a variety of sensual subjects.   one-on-one counseling, but also can com-
                                                 Stripping, bondage, fellatio, cunnilingus,      municate with you over phone or Skype.             DEAR FRESHMEN,                             of you is that you have smart sex. hat
                                                 and getting into sex toys are just some of      Whether you need her help or not, Mc-          It’s that time of year again.                  means feeling comfortable enough with
                                                 the topics the staf will walk you through,      Garvie’s website, articles, and e-books of-        September irst has i nally rolled          yourself to do anything you want to do,
GREETINGS ALL YOU irst-year irst-                                                                                                                                                              but also being strong and smart enough
timers, and welcome to the big “O.” While        with hilariously ill-drawn charts and           fer a wealth of sexual knowledge that is       around and, like clockwork, the
                                                 equally entertaining demonstrations—            deinitely worth tapping in to.                 cramped quarters of residence buildings        to walk away from anything you don’t
you’re working up a sweat lugging boxes up                                                                                                                                                     want to do. It means embracing every
and down stairs and trying to put together       anything to get you conident and in com-                                                       are i lling up with fresh meat—I mean
                                                 mand of the topic.                              Parliament Hill                                faces. Classes are just around the corner,     experience that excites you, and eschew-
that seemingly simple Swedish-made bed                                                                                                                                                         ing every experience that irks you.
of yours, you may ind yourself feeling           Sexapalooza                                     Living in the nation’s capital does have its   but lucky for you i rst-years the faculty
                                                                                                                                                here on campus has been kind enough to             Listen up ladies and gents, getting
frisky—the sight of all those greased-up,        Held only in Ottawa, Toronto, and Ham-          advantages, especially when it comes to                                                       yourself into tons of trouble is part of
rippling muscles or long, svelte legs and                                                        outdoor sex. At least, that’s according to     give you a whole week to get unpacked
                                                 ilton, Sexapalooza is the mother of all sex                                                                                                   the freshman experience and, frankly,
booty shorts would be enough to kick any-                                                        the 2005 Ottawa Xpress Best of Ottawa          and settled or, as frosh tradition dictates,
                                                 shows. Workshops, new product debuts,                                                                                                         I’ll be completely disappointed in
one’s libido into high-gear. Alas, if you’re                                                     Reader’s Poll, which named Parliament          get shitfaced and laid. hough I could
                                                 music, performers, contests, and even a                                                                                                       each and every one of you if you don’t
new to the game in bodacious Bytown and                                                          Hill as the best place to get it on outside.   give you some excellent tips on low-
                                                 sex museum—this exhibition is a raging                                                                                                        end this week with at least one regret
at a loss for inding the hot spots you need                                                      Honourable mentions were also granted          budget buying for your new dorm room,
                                                 four-day all-sex event. Only $25 for a full                                                                                                   or absurd and outrageous story.
to hit, you’re really relying on word of                                                         to Major’s Hill park and the ill-supervised    it’s really the latter area of the fresh-
                                                 weekend pass, this January afair is dei-                                                                                                          I hope you all get drunk, I hope you
mouth to take you where you want to go.                                                          garden at the top of the Rideau Centre.        man experience that interests me, and
                                                 nitely the cure for any winter doldrums or                                                                                                    all hook up with a total stranger, and
Well, never fear—Dear Di is here to open                                                                                                        necessitates my writing to you today.
                                                 cabin fever from which you may be suf-                                                                                                        I hope you all reunite with that total
your eyes to what this seriously sexy city                                                       Open for business                                  I’ll bet that I know exactly what
                                                 fering. It only cums once a year, and you                                                                                                     stranger when they sit next to you in
has to ofer.                                                                                                                                    you’re thinking. Something along the
                                                 don’t want to miss out.                         Ottawa is home to about twenty special-                                                       class. But, that being said, I hope you
                                                                                                                                                lines of “Not another safe sex talk! Good
                                                                                                 ty sex shops and naughty video stores.                                                        all have the strength to say no if you
                                                                                                                                                grief!” Well, you can rest easy fresh-
                                                                                                 hough most are situated in the down-                                                          i nd yourself in a situation—sexual or
Venus Envy                                       Sue McGarvie                                                                                   men irst-timers: I’m not here to educate
                                                                                                 town core, the city’s sprawling suburbs                                                       not—that you’re not comfortable with
Venus Envy is hands-down the best sex            Many Ottawa residents have no idea that                                                        you about taking your pill on time
                                                                                                 are no strangers to raunch—major Ottawa                                                       and, above all, I hope that of all the
shop I have ever seen. hat said, it’s not        in this fair city we host our very own,                                                        or how to properly put on a condom.
                                                                                                 sex stores like Aren’t We Naughty and he                                                      lusty letters I receive from you this year,
their great variety of sex toys (which line      nationally syndicated “Sex with Sue.” Sue                                                      I’ve been at this a long time, my new
                                                                                                 Adult Fun Superstore are just a hop, skip,                                                    none of them are because you can’t cope
the walls of the spacious store, carefully       McGarvie is a sex and relationship thera-                                                      friends, and at this point I can say with
                                                                                                 and a hump from two of the city’s most                                                        with any sins you commit this week.
labelled and reviewed for an easy buying         pist, talk show host, and author, based                                                        certainty that virtually nothing I tell
                                                                                                 suburban areas. What this all amounts to
experience), nor is it their sizable selection   right here in Ottawa. She is also the win-                                                     you will afect the decisions you make
                                                                                                 is not just amazing sex toy accessibility,                                                    Best of luck my brand new buddies.
of sexual literature that earns them this        ner of I. H. Asper Broadcast Entrepreneur                                                      when you’re getting hot and heavy on
                                                                                                 but also an awesomely open attitude to
distinction. No, what impresses me most          of the Year Award for 1998 and Business                                                        your uncomfortably small, stif beds.
                                                                                                 sex of all kinds. his may be a government                                                                                        Love,
about Venus Envy is their workshops. For         and Professional Women’s Association                                                               While I’d undoubtedly prefer that you
                                                                                                 town, but sooner or later the suits come of                                                                                        Di
a small fee, the store ofers exciting and        Woman of the Year for 1994. She ofers                                                          all engage in safe sex, all I’m going to ask
                                                                                                 and the lavoured lube comes out.          f

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   frosh 3
                  New this fall: e-billing
                          Easy, secure and green!
                             Log on to uoZone portal
                              and select “My finances”.

                      Register for your chance to win a Dell or Apple laptop 

Purchase a Dell or Apple computer
Also available at the Bookstore, University Centre

                                                                                                                                                 | Sept. 2-15.

Gee-Gees rivalry 101
A look at Ottawa’s toughest sports adversaries

                                                                                                                                                                                                     illustraion by Devin Beauregard

             HEN ASKED TO name the greatest rivalry in                                   season clashes in the last ive years. Dur-   tion (QSSF) more than the Concordia           close to the animosity between the Gees
             professional sports, even the casual fan will                               ing that time span, the Gees have also       University Stingers. In 2009, Ottawa’s        men’s basketball team and the Carleton
             be able to cite great examples. Though the                                  butted heads in the playofs twice with the   three-game winning streak to begin            Ravens. he cross-town rivals have a long
             rivalries that exist in Canadian Interuniversity                            Queen’s Golden Gaels. he most memor-         the year came to came to an end at the        history, which evokes comparisons to the
                                                                                         able match took place in 2008, when Ot-      hands of Concordia in an 18-0 loss. he        North Carolina Tar Heels and the Duke
Sport (CIS) are not as highly publicized, they are just as
                                                                                         tawa upset then-undefeated Queen’s in        Stingers then defeated the Gees 8-0 later     Blue Devils of the National Collegiate
fierce and steeped in tradition. For all the first years that
                                                                                         Kingston. he win pushed the Gee-Gees         in the season, and eventually eliminated      Athletic Association. Both teams have
are unfamiliar with the Gee-Gees’ biggest competitors,                                   to the Yates Cup i nal, where they lost to   them in the playofs with an 18-7 victory.     been contenders for the CIS title in
the Fulcrum has compiled a list for each varsity team.                                   their other rival, the Mustangs.             Concordia went on to capture the prov-        recent years, though the Ravens have
                                                                                                                 —Andrew Hawley       incial championship in 2009, a title they     always had the upper hand—they are
                                                                                                                                      will begin defending this season in their     unbeaten against the Gee-Gees in their
Men’s hockey: Concordia Stingers,           which every game went into double-           Women’s basketball: Carleton Ravens,         home opener on Sept. 12 against Ottawa.       last 11 meetings. he Gees almost broke
Carleton Ravens                             overtime) and air-tight regular season       Windsor Lancers                                                     —Andrew Hawley         the streak last season, losing the regular
he Gee-Gees men’s hockey team holds         games (a 4-3 Ottawa win in 2010 with         Last year, rivalries between the Gee-                                                      season i nale by a mere point in overtime.
a ierce rivalry with two of their closest   three seconds to go) have coni rmed the      Gees women’s basketball team and both        Women’s soccer: Queen’s Golden Gaels,         However, Ottawa will always have the
geographical competitors: the Con-          Carleton Ravens as the biggest rival for     the Windsor Lancers and the Carleton         Toronto Varsity Blues, Wilfrid Laurier        distinction of beating the Ravens in the
cordia Stingers and the Carleton Ravens.    the Gee-Gees women’s hockey team.            Ravens were greatly intensiied. Having       Golden Hawks                                  inaugural Capital Hoops Classic in 2007.
Last season, Ottawa and Concordia           The intensity of the rivalry cranked up      lost two regular season games against        No less than three teams can be con-                                    —Anton Ninkov
were embroiled in a battle for the i nal    before the 2009–10 season due to a stun-     the Ravens, the Gee-Gees travelled to        sidered as rivals for the University of Ot-
playof spot in the OUA East. In the         ning personnel move: Shelley Coolidge,       Carleton to play in the Ontario University   tawa women’s soccer team. Since their         Women’s volleyball: Queen’s Golden
end, Concordia won the season series        the former Ottawa head coach for six         Athletics (OUA) East Final. Ater an          2006 OUA championship victory against         Gaels, Toronto Varsity Blues
against the Gees—three games to one—        years, bolted for Carleton and became        intense battle, the Gee-Gees pulled out      Queen’s University, the Gee-Gees have         A dei nitive rival for the University of
and claimed the post-season berth.          the Ravens’ new coach. he end result:        an upset against the top-seeded Ravens       long had a ierce rivalry with the Golden      Ottawa women’s volleyball team has
Since 2007, when Carleton brought           Ottawa’s 2-1 win over Carleton in the last   and claimed their spot in the CIS cham-      Gaels. While Ottawa won the most re-          been somewhat lacking in recent years,
back its men’s hockey program ater a        season’s i nale gave the Gees third place    pionship for the second straight year.       cent playof game in 2008, Queen’s took        but a couple of opponents have provided
long absence, the Gees and Ravens have      in Quebec ahead of their rivals.             However, against their strong rivals in      both contests in 2009. he Gees’ rivalry       Ottawa with strenuous competition. he
quickly become rivals as well. On Feb.                              —Andrew Hawley       Windsor, the Gee-Gees struggled once         with Toronto heated up last season when       Gee-Gees have always staged entertain-
9 this past year, the Ravens beat Ottawa                                                 again. The Lancers blewout the Gee-          Ottawa beat the Varsity Blues in the play-    ing games against their closest neighbour
in overtime at the Sports Complex,          Men’s football: Western Mustangs,            Gees in the OUA i nal, 83-55. he two         ofs to qualify for the OUA Final Four.        in the OUA, the Gaels. Ottawa has won a
eliminating the Gee-Gees from playof        Queen’s Golden Gaels                         teams met again at the irst round of the     Finally, no provincial i nals appearance      pair of ive-set matches against Queen’s
contention—a crushing loss which will       In recent years, the U of O men’s football   national championships, where Ottawa         for Ottawa would be complete without          in the last two years, with all other con-
have Ottawa salivating for revenge this     team has managed to foster not one, but      hung tough until halt ime, but eventually    the Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks, a           tests requiring at least four sets to be
season.                                     two, great rivalries on the gridiron. Ot-    lost 64-46.                                  team they’ve met in the playofs for three     played. On the l ip side, all six of Ottawa’s
                         —Anton Ninkov      tawa’s bellwether opponent in the regular                              —Anton Ninkov      years running.                                most recent games against Toronto have
                                            season has been the perennially-talented                                                                           —Andrew Hawley       ended in three sets, with Toronto win-
                                            University of Western Ontario Mustangs.      Women’s rugby: Concordia Stingers                                                          ning ive of the matches. he Varsity
Women’s hockey: Carleton Ravens             he squads typically open their seasons       Entering 2010, the Gee-Gees women’s          Men’s basketball: Carleton Ravens             Blues have eliminated the Gees in two
Memorable playof matches (a three-          against each other and then duel again in    rugby team won’t loathe a single team        When it comes to sports rivalries at the      straight post-seasons.
game series won by Ottawa in 2009 in        the playofs, as evidenced by three post-     in the Quebec Student Sports Federa-         University of Ottawa, nothing comes                                    —Andrew Hawley

                                                                                                                                                                                                         frosh 5
  | Sept. 2-15.

  Capital Consumption Challenge
Discover downtown
one pint (or photo-
op) at a time                                                                                               6. The Aulde Dubliner
                                                                                                            (62 William St.)                          geois, “Maman”, is the pride and joy the
                                                                                                                                                      gallery’s modern art collection. Take a
Jaclyn Lytle | Fulcrum Staff
                                                                                                                                                      photo underneath the sculpture before
THERE ARE A multitude of ways to get to know a new city.                                                     All this running around has              you move along.
Audio visitor’s guides, printed guidebooks, escorted walking                                                 probably gotten you pretty
tours, and sightseeing bus trips are all available and affordable                                            thirsty! he Aulde Dubliner is            11. Fairmont Château Laurier
options—but they’re also alarmingly boring. Here at the Ful-                                                 one of the best pubs in the down-        (1 Rideau St.)
crum, we feel there’s no better way to familiarize yourself with                                             town core in terms of both food
our fun and fabulous capital than to grab a couple of pals and hit                                           quality and beer selection. Pop          h is grand hotel is one of Ottawa’s most
the streets. That’s why we’ve come up with the ultimate Ottawa                                                into this pub to wet your whistle.      beautiful buildings. It is also supposedly
board game, a unique way to introduce you to this fair city and                                                                                       haunted by the ghost of Charles Melville
give you a chance to win some excellent prizes. Designed with                                                 7. Beaver Tails (69 George St.)         Hays, the railway tycoon that perished
students in mind, it’s the Capital Consumption Challenge.                                                                                             in the Titanic disaster only three years
                                                                                                              he seemingly insigniicant hut           ater commissioning the building of the
You will need:                                                                                                you are now standing before             Château. Take a photo out front before
                                                                                                              is not just the only Beaver Tail        advancing to the next location.
   •     A minimum two-person team                                                                            stand open year-round in Otta-
   •     A camera                                                                                              wa, but also the i rst stand ever      12. Parliament Hill (33 Metcalfe St.)
   •     Your wallet                                                                                           opened by Beaver Tail Canada
   •     This playing board                                                                                    Inc. founders. Nobody’s time           he capital pride of the capital city, the
   •     A pen or marker to record your progress                                                               in Ottawa is complete without          Parliament buildings provide the perfect
                                                                                                               a taste of this local delicacy.        backdrop for the city’s skyline—and for
How to play:                                                                                                   Order whichever pastry strikes         your next picture. Take a shot of your-
                                                                                                                your fancy and take a photo           selves with the Peace Tower in the back-
The concept of the game is very simple: as author Lewis Car-
                                                                                                                outside the hut with it. Ater         ground, then walk toward Elgin Street.
roll so plainly wrote, “Begin at the beginning… and go on till you
                                                                                                                you’re done, duck across the
come to the end: then stop.” Basically, follow the sequence of
                                                                                                                street into the ByWard Market         13. D’Arcy McGee’s (44 Sparks St.)
locations as they are set out on the playing board, and perform
each task as outlined on the directions. If you’re more of a dry                                                building.
dude than a big-time boozer feel free to skip any alcohol-related                                                                                     Another one of downtown’s best pubs,
steps and focus your energy on capturing highly hilarious photos.                                                8. Le Moulin de Provence             D’Arcy McGee’s is the perfect place to
Keep track of your progress with a marker or pen to ensure you                                                   (55 ByWard Market Sq.)               pause for another pint. While you’re
don’t skip any steps.                                                                                                                                 enjoying your drink, take a look outside
                                                                                                                 h is sunny café exempli-             the front window toward Confederation

On your mark, get set, go!
                                                                                                                 ies the joining of the Fran-         Square. Besides its tributary signiicance,
                                                                                                                 cophone and Anglophone               the square also happens to be built on the
                                                                                                                 cultures in our brilliantly          same land where the Stanley Cup was
1. Home base (Your starting point)            Ottawa’s most popular shopping                                     bilingual city. Surprisingly,        originally thought up by Lord Stanley
                                              area, this bustling bus station is                                  it also brings together booze       himself.
First things irst, you’re going to need a     packed with passengers every day                                    and beautiful pastries. Grab
drink to start things of properly. Mix a      of the week. Take a photo of your-                                  a bottle of your favourite beer     14. National Arts Centre (53 Elgin St.)
tall glass of your favourite drink or crack   selves with one of the patient pa-                                  or a tasty treat to top of that
open a bottle of beer. Count the amount       trons waiting here, then backtrack                                  Beaver Tail.                        You’re almost there, but before your trek
of letters in the name of your program        down to Nicholas Street.                                                                                reaches an end, there’s one more stop.
and take one drink for each letter. For                                                                              9. Zaphod Beeblebrox             Dubbed “Oscar’s Corner” by Ottawa
example, music majors take ive drinks,        4. HI Ottawa Jail Hostel                                               (27 York St.)                    Citizen columnist Peter Simpson, at the
marketing majors take nine drinks, and        (75 Nicholas St.)                                                                                       intersection of Albert and Elgin Streets
those of you aspiring to complete bio-                                                                               h is Hitchhiker’s Guide to the   sits the brilliant bronze sculpture of jazz
chemical engineering degrees… well,           Easily the eeriest of the capital’s                                    Galaxy themed bar is among       pianist Oscar Peterson. Take a photo
you should probably choose your drink         creepy buildings, the HI Ottawa                                        the most popular clubs in the    with the Quebec-born musician’s like-
carefully.                                    Jail Hostel is housed in the former                                    city. “he original nightclub     ness, then head back to Laurier Avenue.
                                              Carleton County Jail, which was                                        on the edge of the universe,”
2. Tabaret Lawn (550 Cumberland St.)          actively used as a prison until 1972.                                  as the website boasts, is also   15. Royal Oak (161 Laurier Ave. E)
                                              hough you won’t be allowed into                                         on the edge of the best mu-
Tabaret Hall is not only the architectural    this little piece of haunted Ottawa                                     sical talent around. Pop in-    Finally, your journey has come to an end.
face of the U of O, but also one of the ma-   history, you can take a photo un-                                       side and order a Pangalactic    Celebrate with a pitcher or two at the
jor hubs of student life throughout the       derneath the grand stone archway                                        Gargle Blaster—and don’t        “Campus Oak” before you head home
academic year. Get in the fun frosh mood      that marks the entrance. When                                           forget to bring your towel.     and send your pictures and contact in-
by taking a photo of yourselves doing a       you’re i nished here, bolt for the By-                                                                  formation to to
cartwheel on Tabaret Lawn, then head          Ward Market.                                                            10. National Gallery of         win fabulous prizes.                    f
for Mackenzie King Bridge.                                                                                            Canada (380 Sussex Dr.)
                                              5. Sugar Mountain (71 William St.)
3. Mackenzie King Bridge                                                                                              You’ll know the gallery is      Contest closes on Monday, Sept.
(Between the Rideau Centre and the            h is shop has a one-of-kind con-                                        dead ahead when a mas-          13. All photo submissions will be
National Defence office building)              fectionery collection. Pop inside for                                   sive spider looms in the        posted in a gallery at thefulcrum.
                                              your favourite sugary treat and take                                    distance. One of 11 bronze      ca. Once judged, first- and sec-
Ah, the pleasures of public transport.        a photo outside with their ice cream                                    casts of the original 1999      ond-place winners will be con-
Due to its close proximity to downtown        cone statue.                                                            work by artist Louis Bour-      tacted and awarded prizes.

                                                                                       illustration by Alex Martin

        6 frosh                                                                                                                                                          frosh 7
   | Sept. 2-15.

Campus cycling
Two services at U of O serve bike-loving students
Jaehoon Kim | Fulcrum Staff                    ply for a bike-share membership at the          “he re-Cycles bike co-op used to be
                                               Parking and Sustainable Transporta-          on Nelson Street, in our community, but
THE UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa is                    tion Oice (139 Louis-Pasteur Pr.), and       it moved to 477 Bronson Ave. It let a va-
currently the third-largest university in      pay a refundable $10 deposit. A student      cancy as students now had a need that
Ontario in terms of student population—        identiication card is needed to apply for    wasn’t being met,” said Tegler.
almost 38,000 students were enrolled           the membership. As a bike-share mem-            A laboratory at Lees campus was ret-
in 2009. However, only 2,885 spots are         ber, students can visit Montpetit Hall or    roitted with the purpose of creating the
available for students to live at one of the   Protection Services and sign out a bi-       co-op. It is being funded partially by the
seven on-campus residences. As a result,       cycle for the day.                           U of O, and also through the green refer-
over 90 per cent of the student population
                                                  If you already own a cycle and require    endum levy. here is no additional charge
commutes to school, and a signiicant
                                               mechanical assistance, or if you want to     for students to use the centre, which is set
portion choose to bike.
                                               attend a workshop on biking-related is-      to open the i rst week of September.
   For all the cycling aicionados, there       sues, your best bet would be to visit the       At irst, the co-op will provide techni-
are services at the university designed to     new SFUO bike co-op, located just of the     cal help and various seminars, with the
encourage biking on campus: the bike-          main campus.                                 goal of expanding to ofer more assis-
share program run by Protection Ser-              According to Taiva Tegler, the SFUO       tance to cyclists, said Tegler.
vices and the newly founded bike co-op,        bike co-op coordinator, the proposal for        “We’ll have basic services like having
a Student Federation of the University of      the service was completed three years        tools available and a mechanic to help
Ottawa (SFUO) initiative.                      ago ater research on similar programs at     with i xing bikes. We’d like to sell used
   he concept of bike-sharing was born         other Canadian universities.                 bikes and bike parts as soon as possible. It
in the Netherlands in the 1960s—ive               Sarah Jayne King, current SFUO vp         will also be open to students with [limit-
decades later, the idea has spread to the      i nance, began working on the proposal       ed] biking experience to take workshops
U of O. he theory behind the program           in 2009 which culminated in the green        on how to i x a bike, or even how to ride
is simple: 10 bicycles are available to be     campus referendum that passed in Feb-        a bike.”                                   f
rented, free of charge, to members of          ruary.                                       For more information, visit protection.
the university community. he only re-             Tegler emphasized that the service was and the
                                                                                                                                           Student cyclists beware:
                                                                                                                                           Watch out for walk-yout-bike signs on campus.
quirement is that a student must i rst ap-     created as a response to student requests.   SFUO co-op at 200 Lees Ave.
                                                                                                                                                                                                             h t b M i R d
                                                                                                                                                                                                            photo by Maria Rondon

A beginner’s guide to                                                                                                                          Frosh survival tip #64: beverages
                                                                                                                                               NOW THAT YOU’RE at the U of O, you’ll have to become accus-

U of O athletic centres
                                                                                                                                               tomed to the culture of sleepless nights partying or studying—the
                                                                                                                                               effects of which can only be cured by a foreign substance: coffee.
                                                                                                                                               There are many sanctuaries where one can receive this blessing,
                                                                                                                                               which include:

                                                                                                                                               Starbucks: hey won’t accept git cards, but will still make your decaf

Access to first-rate facilities possible                                                                                                        grande non-fat latte perfectly in Demarais.
                                                                                                                                               Tim Hortons: If you’re willing to brave the line, then check out the second
                                                                                                                                               loor of the University Centre or their location in SITE.

with the power of a student card                                                                                                               Second Cup: Two locations: one at 153 Laurier Ave., and the other on the
                                                                                                                                               irst loor of Morisset library.

                                                                                                                                               Mac’s: If you want a super-cheap knockof latte, try the 24 hour Mac’s at
Amanda Daniels | Fulcrum Contributor           arts room. All basketball, swimming, and     U of O football team being one of the pre-         120 Osgoode St. or 210 Laurier Ave. Warning: you get what you pay for.
                                               volleyball varsity squads call Montpetit     season favourites to win the Yates Cup.
SEPTEMBER IS FINALLY here and the              Hall their home, with a maximum capac-                                                          Café Alt: he SFUO-run café is a great place to study—it’s located in the
University of Ottawa will soon be i lled       ity of 1,000 for basketball and volleyball   Sports Complex                                     basement of Simard Hall.
with wide-eyed frosh trying to i nd their      games.                                       (801 King Edward Ave.)
way around campus. hough it may be
important to know where the best study         Lees Gym (200 Lees Ave.)                     he newest of the on-campus facilities is           Tip #11: slanguage
spots are, it is just as important to locate                                                the Sports Complex, which cost a stag-
the sports facilities at the university,       he third sports facility is just a short     gering $24 million to build. It includes a
                                                                                                                                               It helps to know the language when
many of which are underused. Whether           shuttle ride away from the main campus.      modern itness centre (with 39 cardiovas-
                                                                                                                                               staying in a foreign place. Here are two
you want to attend a varsity game and          Its main attraction is a 7,000-square-foot   cular machines and 26 weight machines),
                                                                                                                                               simple rules of speech to remember
cheer the Gee-Gees to victory or to ex-        gymnasium with a Taralex synthetic sur-      a multi-purpose sports room, two squash
                                                                                                                                               when speaking to other students:
ercise the night away, it’s always a good      face. he Lees gym is used by the com-        courts, two National Hockey League-
idea to check out the three main athletic      petitive fencing club and some intramural    sized rinks, and a state-of-the-art outdoor        1) Everyday words, such as “definitely” and
buildings on campus. hey include the           programs. It is also available for recre-    sports pitch—named Matt Anthony Field.             “obviously,” should always be used in their
Sports Complex, Montpetit Hall, and the        ational badminton and volleyball drop-in     Access to the Sports Complex is free for all       abbreviated form: “def” and “obv.”
Lees gym—in addition to Frank Clair            activities.                                  students—simply by presenting their stu-           For example: “I def wanna go to the mall in-
Stadium, where the football team com-                                                       dent card at the door—as is the case with          stead of class. Obv!”
petes.                                         Frank Clair Stadium (1015 Bank St.)          other athletic facilities.
                                               Frank Clair Stadium, located at historic        Of the U of O varsity teams, four play          2) Terms related to the activities of a univer-
                                               Lansdowne Park, is home to the Gee-Gees      home games at the Sports Complex: both             sity student must be expressed in their ob-
Montpetit Hall (125 University St.)            football team and can hold an approxi-       men’s and women’s hockey, women’s rug-             noxiously extended form.
                                               mate 8,000 screaming fans. he stadium,       by, and women’s soccer. he men’s football          For example, the sentence: “Do you want to
Built in 1972, Montpetit Hall houses three     which opened in 1909, had its maximum        team also practises at Matt Anthony Field.         get drunk tonight?” will be understood by
gymnasiums, a 50-metre pool equipped           capacity reduced in recent years due to      According to Jacinthe Neron, Sports Ser-           your fellow students, but is not as efective as
with diving boards and a 10-metre diving       structural concerns. he average atten-       vices communications coordinator, the              saying: “Let’s get shitwreckhammercrunked
tower, three squash courts, a dance studio,    dance per game in 2009 was 2,151, but is     main arena seats about 800 fans and Matt           up tonight!”—which will receive a def an
a itness centre, and the Tae E. Lee martial    expected to increase this season with the    Anthony Field 600 people.                  f       “obv!”

    8 frosh
                                                                                                                                                                | Sept. 2-15

Help wanted
Where to go when you’re in need at the U of O
Charlotte Bailey | Fulcrum Staff               delicious meals with limited ingredients.      study habits, attend the workshops that
                                                                                              SASS ofers—times and dates are posted
                                                                                                                                                       Oh, so that’s where it’s at:
            HETHER YOU’RE GETTING              ...not sure how to turn your paper into        regularly on their website.
            used to living away from           an A+. In most faculties, papers account
            home, struggling to teach          for a large percentage of your grade. he       ...having trouble coping. he U of O pro-
yourself cooking skills beyond grilled         Student Academic Success Service (SASS)        vides counselling to stressed-out students.              Financial Aid & Awards Service             Peer Support Phone Line:
cheese sandwiches, or are just inding          ofers an array of writing services, one        his service is free, and anyone taking at                University Centre, Room 102                (613) 562-5604
the workload overwhelming, everyone            of which is the Academic Writing Help          least one course can take advantage of it.               (613) 562 5734
has some trouble coping during their           Centre (AWHC). he AWHC organizes               Whether you’re having a bad day, week,                           Protection Services
irst year of university. To make your four     workshops, career fairs, and works one         or year, professional counsellors will de-                                                          141 Louis-Pasteur
years at the U of O meltdown-free, the         on one with students to ensure that they       termine what your needs are and see that                 SFUO Food Bank                             (613) 562 5499
school provides services to students in
                                               learn how to identify and correct errors in    they’re fulilled. If you are in need of im-              University Centre, Room 0015               (613) 562 5411 (for emergencies)
need of some extra help. Here’s what to
                                               their academic writing.                        mediate help, contact the Peer Support                   (613) 562 5800 ext. 2752         
do when you’re…
                                                                                              Phone Line at (613) 562 5604.                  
...drowning in debt. Between your stu-         ...sick. Part of your student fees pay for                                                                                                         Foot Patrol
dent loans, credit cards, and loans from       a health plan. Everyone is entitled to the     ...feeling unsafe. Foot Patrol volunteers will           Health Services                            University Centre, Room 08A
your parents, one thing is certain: you        student health plan, although you’re free      walk you from campus to anywhere within                  100 Marie Curie Street                     (613) 562 5800 ext. 4517 (day)
need cash—NOW. he best way to get              to opt out if you’re covered by your par-      a 45 minutes radius, in order to ensure that             (613) 564 3950                             (613) 562 5800 ext. 7433 (night)
money is to keep your grades high and          ent’s insurance. Services include routine      students get home safely. You can give them                    
get scholarships. he inancial aid oice         appointments, lu shots, and doctor’s           a call, or ind a campus pay phone—each
is a great place to obtain information on      notes for sick students.                       one is equipped with a designated free Foot              Peer Help Centre
loans and scholarships available. he U of                                                     Patrol call button.                                      University Centre, Room 211D
O will also help you with your scholarship     ...lunking a class. First of, you should           Protection Services keeps our cam-                   (613) 562 5249
search online, under the “Finances” sec-       contact your class’s teaching assistant        pus safe, and they can be contacted via        
tion on your Infoweb account. Identify-        (TA). he names of the TAs should be on         payphones or by hitting a “panic button”
ing your year of study and program will        your course syllabus, along with their of-     found in most female washrooms. Other                    Student Academic Success Service
connect you to the scholarships available      ice location and hours. If your class has      security measures include the blue lamp-                 100 Marie-Curie Street, fourth loor
exclusively to U of O students.                no TA, contact the professor directly. Your    posts or telephones on campus. If you’re                 (613) 562 5101
                                               next step would be to visit your student as-   ever feeling at risk, go to one to get con-    
...turning your last ketchup packet into a     sociation—found under “Student Groups”         nected with an oicer.
meal. If your cupboards are bare, it might     on the SFUO’s website (—many                                                                    SASS’s Counselling Service
be time to visit the Food Bank. he Stu-        of which ofer tutoring programs. Or you        ...lost. It’s a big campus out there—it takes            100 Marie-Curie, fourth loor
dent Federation of the University of Ot-       can always drop in to the SFUO Peer Help       about 10 minutes to walk from one end                    (613) 562 5200
tawa (SFUO) runs a chapter of the Food         Centre; they’ll be able to refer you to tu-    of the university to the other. If you need    
Bank for students. his year, the Food          tors, improve your class presentations, or     a map, check out his
Bank plans to run workshops for students       help you by reviewing your work.               site will show the fastest—and warmest—
on budgeting for groceries and cooking             Finally, if you want to improve your       routes to class.                            f
                                                                                                                                                                                                        illustration by Ryan Smeeton

Where to volunteer at the U of O
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Frosh survival
                                                                                                                                                                                                  tip #47: cuisine
                                                                                                                                                                                                  When in a foreign place,
Charlotte Bailey | Fulcrum Staff                                                                                                                                                                  it is necessary to sample
                                                                                                                                                   be a very rewarding experience. Student
                                                                                                                                                                                                  delicacies it has to offer.
                                                                                                                                                   mentors help new students get situated
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Be sure to indulge in
VOLUNTEERS MAKE THE world go                                                                                                                       at the U of O, and lend support to them
                                                                                                                                                                                                  the following gourmet
‘round—or at least, they make most of                                                                                                              throughout the year. To become a student       dishes on a weeklykly
the services on campus work to serve you                                                                                                           mentor, visit the Student Academic Sup-        basis:
better. Volunteering not only improves a                                                                                                           port Services at
resumé, but it is a great way to meet peo-                                                                                                                                                        • Instant noodles
ple. If you’re interested in volunteering at                                                                                                       7. Foot Patrol he service that ensures         • Kraft Dinner
the University of Ottawa, check out:                                                                                                               students get home safely needs you—            • Caf food
                                                                                                                                                   you’ll get to know campus like the back        • Shwarma
1. he Fulcrum Celebrate student jour-                                                                                                              of your hand, and meet people while you        • Anything take-out
nalism by working at the U of O’s inde-                                                                                                            do it. Visit to i nd out    • Leftover take-out
pendent English language newspaper.                                                                                                                how you can make campus a safer place!         • Any dish that makes
Drop by our hursday staf meetings to                                                                                                                                                                 your stomach sad
learn about opportunities to write for                                                                                                             8. he Peer Help Centre Help your fel-
news, arts, features, sports, and opin-
ions—or get involved with our Board
                                                                                                                                                   low students avoid crises, whether it’s
                                                                                                                                                   something as small as a tutor referral or
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Tip #11:
of Directors, who handle the Fulcrum’s
business afairs.
                                                                                                                                                   as large as a mental health problem, vol-
                                                                                                                                                   unteers at the Peer Help Centre make a
                                                                                                                    illustration by Maria Rondon   big impacts on students’ lives. To become
                                                                                                                                                                                                  It helps to know the language when
2. United Way he United Way’s mission                                                                                                              a volunteer, see             staying in a foreign place. Here
is “To improve lives and build commu-          organizes many student-run initiatives         sociation in April.                                                                                 are two simple rules of speech to
nity by engaging individuals and mobi-         at the U of O. hey are always in need of                                                            9. Women’s Resource Centre Ofers sup-          remember when speaking to other
lizing collective action”. All funds raised    people to help out with their countless        5. CHUO 89.1 fm he U of O’s radio sta-               port and resources to students who are         students: Terms related to the ac-
by the United Way stay within the com-         projects. he SFUO also hosts an annual         tion hosts a variety of shows in multiple            concerned about gender issues on cam-          tivities of a university student must
munity they come from, so it’s a great         Volunteer Gala to give back to volunteers      languages all year long. Volunteers can              pus. You don’t have to be a woman to help      be expressed in their obnoxiously
way to give back. he U of O chapter has        at the end of each year; check out their       swing by for orientation sessions to get             with their initiatives, participate in their   extended form.
even created a speciic Student Aid Fund        opportunities at                      started, and then choose to work either              discussion of gender roles, or take ac-           For example, the sentence: “Do
to support our students. To get involved                                                      behind the scenes or behind a micro-                 tion within the campus and community.          you want to get drunk tonight?”
with their campaign, visit unitedway.          4. 101 Week Remember all the awesome           phone. Find them online at                  Check out for information on       will be understood by your fellow                                    times you had in your i rst week at the                                                             volunteer training.                            students, but is not as effective as
                                               U of O? Make someone else’s irst week          6. Student mentors Although not a pos-                                                              saying: “Let’s get shitwreckham-
3. he Student Federation of the Univer-        awesome next September; volunteer to           sibility for those in their irst year of uni-        10. he Fulcrum Oh, did we mention that         mercrunked up tonight!”—which
sity of Ottawa (SFUO) Oice he SFUO             be a 101 guide through your student as-        versity, mentoring another student can               one already?                         f         will receive a “def” and “obv!”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                               frosh 9
  | Sept. 2-15.

40 things I wish I knew in irst year
Mercedes Mueller | Fulcrum Staff
40 First year sucks. Deal              unconventional way—use              24 Know when the drop dates       you don’t like or if you get a bad   18 Speak up in class if you         up with your roommate—not
with it.                               Facebook or Amazon to find           are for your courses each         grade on the first assignment.        have something to say.              just once, not even just a
                                       your books at, oftentimes,          semester—both for when you        Sometimes it’s best to suck it                                           little.
39 First year will suck less if you    cheaper prices.                     can drop a course and get a       up and finish what you started.       17 Shut up in class if you have
do something about it.                                                     refund, and the last date you                                          nothing to say, particularly if     9 University is the most
                                       30 For every hour spent in          can drop a course without         20 There are places to               you just want to impress your       freedom you will ever have
38 Don’t schedule morning              class, you should spend             getting an F.                     study on campus besides              prof. That’s what office hours       in your entire life. Make the
classes if you aren’t a                two hours outside class                                               the Morriset Library—in the          are for.                            most of it—life only gets more
morning person.                        studying. Well, if you want an      23 Government-funded student      evenings, SITE, Desmarais,                                               complicated from this point on.
                                       A, anyway.                          loans, bank loans, and credit     and the computer labs are            16 Filling out the required
37 If you’re from out of town,                                             cards are not free money—you      near-empty and quiet.                forms and showing up the            8 Register for classes as
don’t spend every weekend              29 Work. Try to get into CO-OP      actually have to pay them                                              morning of registration day         soon as you can, especially in
going home to hang out with            if your field of study offers        back… with interest.              19 Bitching about how much           is not enough to guarantee          third and fourth year.
your high school friends. You’ll       it. Apply to the Work-Study                                           homework you have to do on           your team a place in some
miss out on the opportunity to         Program if you are eligible. Find   22 Learn how to calculate         Facebook and/or Twitter won’t        intramural leagues on               7 Don’t be afraid to make
make new, potentially better,          out if McDonalds on Rideau          interest.                         help you get your work done          campus. Sleeping over               mistakes. Don’t be afraid to
ones here.                             Street is hiring. But work if you                                     any faster. Neither will YouTube     outside Sports Services may         make the same mistake two
                                       have the time—and almost all        21 You can’t drop a class every   videos, a visit to your favourite    be necessary.                       nights in a row.
36 University profs are much           students do.                        time you have a                      blog, or an episode of a TV
more resistant to bullshit                                                 professor                                             show.            15 There is an entire city          6 Class is what you make of
excuses and elaborate sob              28 Get to know your profs.                                                                                 outside of campus and Sandy         it. Sometimes it is boring, and
stories about work not being           Not only will it make your                                                                                 Hill. Explore it.                   some profs just read off their
completed on time than your            academic life easier, but they                                                                                                                 slides or from the textbook.
high school teachers were.             will be much more inclined                                                                                 14 Get familiar with the U of       But you will learn more with
                                       to write you a letter of                                                                                   O website, and that of your         your ass in class than you
35 If you came to university in a      reference in the future if                                                                                 faculty and department. They        could have taught yourself
long distance relationship that        they actually know who                                                                                     contain all the information         out of a textbook. Seriously.
was already on the rocks, don’t        you are.                                                                                                   you’ll ever need to know
fight a losing battle.                                                                                                                             about anything related to this      5 Your parents are the best
                                       27 Sometimes, student                                                                                      campus.                             friends you will ever have. Be
34 Your faculty and                    politics will seem like a                                                                                                                      nice to them.
department, as well as other           bunch of political students                                                                                13 Volunteer. Join an
organizations on campus, put           pretending the Unicentre                                                                                   organization. Get involved in       4 The 24-hour computer labs
on seminars on interesting             is the Oval Office and it                                                                                   student politics. It will change    in Montpetit Hall are the best
topics all the time. Check             will annoy you. Or, you                                                                                    your life.                          kept secret of this university.
them out. You’ll learn                 might not give a fuck what
something new, and maybe               these students do. Give                                                                                    12 Don’t wait until the             3 Don’t kill yourself trying
you’ll get to meet someone             one. Everything they do                                                                                    afternoon to visit the main         to keep your admission
semi-famous in the world of            affects you.                                                                                               services on campus—your             scholarship.
academia.                                                                                                                                         faculty, the Financial
                                       26 French. It’s a                                                                                          Aid & Awards Office, or              2 It is entirely possible to
33 Budgeting is important.             bilingual university, so if                                                                                InfoService—especially              read a textbook the night
Sure, those $250 boots look            you don’t already know                                                                                      at the beginning of each           before an exam and get an
amazing and, yes, that $150 bar        it, learn it now. You’ll                                                                                    semester.                          A. Do that every exam for the
tab night was legendary… until         thank yourself later                                                                                                                           next four years and you will
you can’t afford to eat for three      when you apply for jobs                                                                                     11 You will get sick of Kraft      graduate university with a
weeks.                                 on campus or want a                                                                                         Dinner, so enjoy it now—by         degree—and absolutely no
                                       job in the government.                                                                                      fourth year you will have          idea what you learned.
32 The line at Second Cup                                                                                                                           sworn it off for life.
in the library moves slower            25 Unless you wake up                                                                                                                          1 Almost everything you think
than a lesson on the Oxford            at 6 a.m., or are down to                                                                                    10 No matter how hot he or        you know about yourself and
comma.                                 work out late at night,                                                                                      she looks strutting around        life after high school will seem
                                       there is never a good                                                                                        the kitchen half-dressed          completely wrong after the next
31 Buy your textbooks the              time to go to the gyms                                                                                       every morning, never hook         four years.
                                       on campus.

Frosh survival tip #24: budgeting                                                                                                                      Frosh survival tip #62: customs
                       When living away from home, the
                              li                                                                                                                       When travelling to a new land, it is important to
                       art of budgeting becomes crucial
                              bu                                                                                                                       learn the culture’s customary practices. These
                       to survi
                          survival. University students                                                                                                are a handful of university student traditions:
                       tend to prioritize their day-to-day                                                                                                                        re
                                                                                                                                                       • Pulling all-nighters before a midterm or i nal exam
                       expenses in the following way:
                       expense                                                                                                                         • Starting essays 32 hours before they are due
                                                                                                                                                       • Going for an epic breakfast at
                                   •Beer and/or hard liquor                                                                                                                         ht
                                                                                                                                                         Father & Sons ater a night of
                                   •Cute clothes                                                                                                         heavy drinking
                                   •Ridiculously priced cell                                                                                                                      e
                                                                                                                                                       • Procrastinating with the aid
                                   phones and laptops with                                                                                                                         ,
                                                                                                                                                         of Facebook, roommates, and
                                   thousands of unnecessary,                                                                                             sun-i lled patios
                                   and unused, applications                                                                                                                       n
                                                                                                                                                       • Blowing student loans on un-
                                   •Cool accessories for                                                                                                 necessary purchases—typi- typi-
                                   living space                                                                                                          cally alcoholic beverages

   10 frosh
                                                                                                                                                        | Sept. 2-15.

Ottawa Nightlife
Best downtown hangouts for a rocking weekend

                                                                                                                                                                                                             illustration by Maria Rondon

Charlotte Bailey | Fulcrum Staff             your clubbing needs, check out the two         caters almost exclusively to students. he      the night goes on.                            and 90s-themed hursdays. Parliament
                                             clubs closest to campus: Addiction or Le       same can be said for he Royal Oak—their                                                      Ultra Club sometimes features celebrity

     T’S FRIDAY NIGHT, and you have          Volt. If you’re not in the mood to dance, Le   delicious eats make it a campus favourite.     Or, if you’re looking to be the live en-      guests, and Tila Tequila is a must-see for
     no clue where to go. If you’re just     Bop or Le Petit Chicago are must-see bars.     At the corner of King Edward and Os-           tertainment, there’s always karaoke! he       dance music. Mansion is known for their
     discovering Ottawa’s attractions,                                                      goode, you’ll ind Father & Sons, a restau-     SFUO hosted two karaoke nights at 1848        sophisticated nature: however, they’ve
     look no further—we’ve outlined          If you want to drink on campus, check          rant and bar which is known not only for       last year, where a live band accompanied      been known to turn away party goers who
everything that you’ll want to check out     out 1848—many events are hosted in this        its food and alcoholic drinks, but also for    singers. More of these events have been       don’t comply with their dress code.
on a Friday night, whatever you’re in the    Student Federation of the University of        its hangover-helping breakfasts, which in-     promised for the upcoming year, but if
mood for!                                    Ottawa (SFUO)-run bar. he Drat, lo-            cludes bottomless cofee reills.                you can’t wait check out he Cajun Attic       If you’re in the mood for something dif-
                                             cated on the second loor of the Sports                                                        or Shanghai in Chinatown. Bars close to       ferent, why not try out a comedy club?
If you’re underage, take advantage of the    Centre, and Café Nostalgica, run by the        If you’re seeking live entertainment, it’s     campus host karoke on select nights: La       Ottawa has two downtown: Absolute
fact that you are now in a city where a      Graduate Students Association (GSAÉD),         always a good idea to check out bar web-       Maison on hursdays, Father & Sons on          Comedy and Yuk Yuk’s.
short bus ride takes you to another prov-    are other favourites for drinking locally.     sites before going out. Most venues post       Wednesdays.
ince—a province with a lower legal drink-                                                   their scheduled acts online. Good places                                                     If you want to know what’s going on
ing age. Although sometimes sketchy, Hull    If you’re looking for cheap beer and mul-      to hear live music include Mavericks, the      If you want to dance all night, you’ve got    weekly, the Fulcrum prints a calendar of
ofers clubs and bars that cater to an 18-    tiple kinds of poutine, try La Maison on       Heart and Crown, and Zaphod Beeble-            a lot of options in the downtown core. Bar-   events called the hryllabus (see p. 22).It’s
plus crowd, as well as multiple SAQs (the    the corner of Somerset and King Edward. It     brox. Zaphod’s has live bands early in the     rymore’s Music Hall oten ofers themed         the best place to ind out what events are
Quebec equivalent of the LCBO). For all      boasts a very chilled out atmosphere which     evening, and switches to dance music as        music nights, with 80s-themed Sundays         happening on or near campus.               f

Calling all sports fans and athletes
Sports Services have much to offer to first-year students
Serge Lafontaine | Fulcrum Contributor       volleyball activities or possibly decide to    except the men’s basketball [game] versus
                                             “dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge” in the     Carleton,” explained Jess Damery, the pro-
TO THE ENTERING class of 2014, wel-          intramural dodgeball league. Other popu-       motions supervisor for Sports Services, in      Gee-Gees pass information
come to the world of athletics at the Uni-   lar choices include co-ed ultimate fris-       an email to the Fulcrum.
                                                                                                                                            Free first-year passes available at:
versity of Ottawa. Whether you are aiming    bee and lag football. If organized sports         If you are an upper year undergradu-
to become the next star quarterback of the   aren’t your thing, students can also enrol     ate student or a graduate student, there is     1. Tabaret Hall, Sept. 4 and 5 (10 a.m.–3:30 p.m.)
football team (watch out, Brad Sinopoli)     in pilates classes, outdoor adventures, and    no reason to feel neglected. For the irst       2. Tabaret lawn during President’s Brunch, Sept. 5
or if you just want to play an entertain-    swimming lessons.                              time ever, Sport Services is ofering a new      3. All varsity home games
ing match of intramural volleyball, Sports       Of course, there is nothing that quite     promotion. According to Damery, all U of
Services at the U of O ofers you the op-     compares to suiting up for the Gee-Gees        O students will have the chance to sit in       Excludes playoff games, exhibition games, and all games played at
portunity to participate at all levels of    as a member of a varsity team or a com-        the “uOttawa student zone” for free at all      Scotiabank Place.
competition.                                 petitive club, but going to a Gees game as a   regular season Gee-Gees games played on
   Sports Services organizes numerous        fan comes close. Here’s the good news for      campus (football not included). he sec-         Upper year students:
intramural leagues throughout the year,      all the frosh out there: irst-year students    tion will have limited capacity so students
                                                                                                                                            Free access to “uOttawa student zone” at any varsity regular season home
which all students can register to join.     have the privilege of attending any Gee-       will have to ensure they arrive early to        game. This offer does not extend to men’s football games and only a limited
Most of them are divided into two sections   Gees home game for free with the Gee-          snag a seat.                              f     number of seats will be available at each game.
based on skill and previous training—the     Gees irst-year season pass.
Garnet league is perfect for the ultimate        “Every irst-year undergraduate stu-        For more information, visit or       Also excludes playoff games, exhibition games, and all games played at
competitors, while the Grey league is more   dent at the U of O is entitled to a irst-      pick up a Sports Services brochure available    Scotiabank Place.
recreational in nature. Students can sign    year pass which gives them free access to      on the irst loor of Montpetit Hall and at
up for the traditional hockey, soccer, and   all Gee-Gees regular season home games,        the Sports Complex.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     frosh 11
                                                                           on campus!
                                                Ecumenical prayers with the songs of Taizé are held each month
                                                  at Sacré-Cœur Church, 591 Cumberland, corner of Laurier
                                                                   The next one :
                                                        Thursday, September 16, 7:15 p.m.
                                                                Info : 613-241-7515

As an undergraduate student, you have access to FREE legal advice and representation!!!

                    LEGAL CLINIC
  We deal with matters related to:                           Come see us…
         Criminal Offences
         Tenant Rights                                             University of Ottawa Community Legal Clinic
         Employment issues                                                    17 Copernicus K1N 6N5
                                                                             Telephone: (613) 562-5600
         Consumer Problems
         Small Claims Court
         Serious Highway Traffic Act Offences                      Walk-In Hours (No appointment necessary):
         Application to the Criminal Injuries                             Monday 7 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
         Compensation Board                                             Wednesday 7 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
         Human Rights                                                      Thursday 2 p.m. - 4 p.m.
  We also:
         Notarize documents                                   Walk-in hours change in April, May, September and December so
         Make true copies                                                     please call before you come in.
         Give Legal Education Workshops

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