Riddles and Jokes for lateral thinking, vocabulary development, cultural knowledge …. and fun! Hopefully this will be accessible to every student in the school if you read it slowly. Hope you and they enjoy! Investigating a terrible accident There is a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survives the accident except a monkey. There are no witnesses, so the police chief decides to try and question the monkey. The police chief says, "Mr Monkey. Can you understand me? If I speak slowly to you, can you understand what I am saying?” The monkey nods. “Good….. [pause] Can you show me what the people were doing on the bus?" The monkey frowns, wags his finger very seriously, and then takes his hand to his mouth as if he is holding a bottle. "Oh!” the chief says, “They were drinking alcohol, were they?" The monkey nods. “Right. Were they doing anything else? [pause] They were!!?? [pause] Can you show me what else were they doing?" The monkey nods again and then starts chattering and dancing around. “I see,” says the chief. “So, they were drinking and talking and dancing! [pause] So, ….. what was the bus driver doing? [pause – then speaking angrily and incredulously] …….Dancing?!!!! He was dancing??!!!!!!!” The monkey nods again. “Well, ….if he was ……dancing, [pause] …….who was ….driving the bus?” The monkey looks back at him. Then he slowly lowers his head. Riddles – for lateral thinking, language, knowledge, and fun! I am full of holes, but I still hold water. What am I? (A sponge) Usually, the person who buys me doesn’t need me. The person who needs me doesn’t know it. What am I? (A coffin) I have a tongue but cannot speak. I wait for you to fill me each morning. I see another like me all day long. What am I? (One of your shoes) Write this one on board: It‟s lovely - it rhymes! First teach the meaning of „weeps‟ What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps? (A river) Then you could draw a picture and label it, to show these parts of a river! They might like to learn this one, then they can ask other people to work it out. Q: What button won't you find in a tailors shop? Ans: A belly-button ! Q: What stays in a corner but travels all around the world? Ans: A postage stamp Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil till I get there. Why is this a joke? What do we think the doctor will say? .. because we think swallowing the pen is the problem. What does this joke say the problem is? Etc! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell! Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring! So the word-play (pun) is on „ring‟. Get students to explain to you Who is taller, Mr Bigger or his baby son? Ans: His baby son – because he’s a little Bigger Explain so they all get it, what makes it a joke? Which word has two meanings? Bigger= his name , and also bigger=size This one will need pre-teaching: Who has had sunburn? What happens? Skin goes red peels. Which fruit needs to wear sunscreen? Ans: A banana, because ….. it peels easily! (When we take the skin off a banana, we peel it.) What’s black and white and red all over? A newspaper. Word play is on the two meanings of red/read. Why do we straight away think of red the colour? Why did the boy take a ladder to school? Because he went to a high school. Q: What has 4 wheels and flys? A: A garbage truck. Show spelling of flies/flys Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? A: He didn't have anyBODY to go with. 3. Which side of the chicken has the most feathers? The outside. What do we think of? Left side or right side! 4. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper. They have to explain why it‟s a joke!! 1. You cut me – but then you cry! Q: What am I? A: An onion Q Why did everyone run out of Hungry Jack’s? Because someone dropped a Whopper! Why is it a joke? (B/c there‟s a play on words) Which words? (Dropped a Whopper) What are the two meanings of „dropped a whopper?‟ ( 1. Dropped a kind of burger which HJ‟s sells, (a Whopper) onto the floor, and 2. „Dropped a whopper‟ is slang for doing a fart! Q: What gets wetter as it dries? A: A towel! : Why did the child study in the aeroplane? He wanted a higher education! If necessary pre- or post teach: “ What‟s a dog‟s foot called?” How did the dog stop the video? (Think! Who can get it?) He used the paws button? It‟s a play on the words pause and paws. They sound the same, but they‟re spelled differently. (Show both spellings) What does pause mean? If necessary: Teach jammed as in stuck, and jam as something we spread on toast. Why wouldn’t the toast pop out of the toaster? Because it was jammed! If necessary: This riddle is about a wildcat – like eg a tiger. Do you know the names of other wildcats?(Leopard, cheetah…) Why was the wildcat thrown out of the card game? Can anyone work it out??? Because he was a cheet-ah. (Show both spellings)(cheater) What can you catch but not throw? Ans: A cold (but also, a bus, train or tram) Two alternatives for these: [The (b) version is for students with more language] 2a) For beginners: I can run but not walk. What am I? Ans: Your nose (also a creek/river) 2b) For kids with more language: I can run but not walk. Wherever I go, thought follows close behind. What am I? Ans: Your nose 3a) Speak and it breaks. What is it? 3b) No sooner spoken than broken. What is it? Ans: Silence Q: I'm the part of the bird that's not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain/stay dry. What am I? A: A shadow Q: I got it climbing over a fence. I sat down to look for it. I took it home with me because I couldn't find it. What was it? A: A splinter (You get a splinter from wood. Often need a needle to get it out.) Riddle: Why wouldn’t the cat leave the computer? Because it wanted the mouse. Four Ant jokes: What do you call an ant who skips school? A tru-ant. What do you call a greedy ant? An ant-eater. What medicine would you give a sick ant? Ant –i- biotics Where do ants go for their holidays? Fr-ants Q: Why don't sharks eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny. Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts. Decoding and transition teachers: you will need to do some pre-teaching for this riddle: What is a flea? A small insect (show how small) which lives on dogs and cats. It has a very hard body. Fleas jump.(Show). Sometimes they jump off the dog or cat. They bite people to get their blood. Small itchy bites. (This may also lead you into a mosquito discussion. Just give the noise a mosquito makes and they‟ll understand. You could show spelling for both and how to sound out.) So, when a flea wants to move to another place, it can just jump onto a dog. If we want to get somewhere quickly, and we don‟t have a car, we can pay money and ….. take a taxi. So, what do you think this riddle will be? (Give them the first line) Can you guess what the flea says? Q: What did one flea say to the other flea? A: Should we walk or take a dog? Joke= a dog is a taxi for a flea! (Phew!!) Q: What goes up and down stairs without moving? A: Carpet Q: Why do birds fly South? A: Because it's too far to walk.
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