Censored Legion of Christ sect personal exams File by jxx13797

VIEWS: 26 PAGES: 338

									    Introduction                                 ...     page   I

6
    1.   Interfor l i f e                   ...                 1
    2.                             y
         O r i e n t a t i o n of m l i f e
         t o w a r d s God                  ...                 7

         J e s u s c h r i k t i n my l i f e . .
         G r a c e o f God i n my l i f e . ,
         Delicacy o f c o n s c i e n c e     . .
         P r a y el-                             . . .
         Mass                                    . . .
         Eucharist                               ...
         Zxamination o f            Con-
         science                                 . . .
         F a i t h and s u p e r n a t u r a l
         spi1.i-t                         ...
                             I

         P u r i t y of I n t e n t i o n ...
         Dzvotion t o t h e Sacred
         Heart                            ...
         Blessed V i r g i n i n my
         life
         Vows a n d R u l e s
           Poverty                              ...         Page
           Chastity                             ...
           Obedience                            ...
           F i r s t P r i v a t e Vow          ...
           S e c o n d P r i v a t e Vow        ...
           Confidence i n
           eriors
                                   SUE
                                                ...
           Confession                           ...
           Spiritual Direction.                 .. .
           Sincerity                            ...
           Charity                              ...
           Complaining and
           fault-finding
                                                ...
           Humility                             ...
           P u r p o s e o f Amendment          ...
    28.    Sin                                  ...                109
    29.    S p i r i t o f M o r t i f i c a-
                                            t
           i o n and penance
                                                ...                11 3

.   3i).
    31.
           Self-denial
           S,pirit of Perfection
                                                .
                                                .
                                                    .
                                                    .
                                                        .
                                                        .
                                                                   117
                                                                   127
                                                                          I
    32.    Man o f t h e Kingdom                .   .   .          125
                                                                          7




    33.    Love f o r t h e L e g i o n         .   .   .          1 4.
                                                                    3      .
                                                                          ,.
 "Sensus Legionis"                       .. .    page 136
Vocation                                 . . .       147
Priesthood                               ...         151
Zeal f o r souls                         . ..        1 57
Love f o r t h e C h u r c h
a n d t h e Pope                     ... .           161

Proselytism
E s p r i t de Corps
Fighting Sprrit                      . . .
SpiritofInitiative                   ,..
Sense of R e s p o n s i b i l i t y .    . .
S p i r i t of Conviction            . . .
Sense of duty                        . . .
Discretion                           ...
Prudence          .   .              s      *
Fidelity                             .. .
S p i r i t o f work                 . . .
Realism                              . . .
Ideal                                ...
Love f o r t h e C r u c i f i x     ...
Way o f t h e C r o s s              . . .
F o u r t h Vow                      . . .
Human f o r m a t i o n              ...     page 218
Formation o f t h e w i l l          ...          220
                                 s
F o r m a t i o n o f t h e p a s-
ions                                 ...          224

Manliness and v i r i l i t y        ...          227
Sense o f order                      ...          23C
Distinction                          ...          233
Study                                ...          235
Gratitude                            . . .        239
Simplicity                           ...          243
Silence                              ...          246
Conversation                    ...               248
Reading                         ...              255
Happiness                       ...              259
Human R e s p e c t            ...               2.6 2
Mediocrity and         Tepidity. . .             265
Sentimentality                 ...               273
Relations with         the
family                         ...               276

R u l e s f o r S o c i a l be-
haviour
                                     ...         281

Constancy                            ...         284
     Spiritual Progress                    ...      p a g e 288
     Temptation                    -   -   . . .-          293
     Understanding                         ...             295
     F a i n t h e a r t e d n e s s and
     I n f e r i o r i t y complex         ...             297
     Meekness                              ...
     Apostolate Practice                  ...
     Foresight                            ...
     Use o f t i m e                      ...
     D e s i r e t o be d i f f e r e n t . . .
     F e a r o f God                      ...
     Time o f C r i s i s                 ...
     Integration                          ...
     F a i t h and the p r e s e n t
     s i t u a t i o n i n t h e Church     ..
Alphabetical Index




     Through the Kingdom of Christ to the Glory of God
                                                               I . INTERIOR LIFE




            1.         How s e n s i t i v e i s niy c o n s c i e n c e in  my
I                r e l a t i o n s w i t h God? Has H e t h e         principal
                 p l a c e i n 'my l i f e ?
            2.      .Do I c a . r e f u l l y f o s t c r t h e p r e s e n c e o f
                 God a n d w a t c h o v e r my t h o u g h t s , w o r d s a n d
                 actions?
            3.        Am I g o v e r n e d b y G o d ' s  inspirations -
,
air
       :
      ,.j   4.
                 a n d l i g h t s , o r by my e g o i s m a n d p a s s i o n s ?
                       Can I c a s i l y d i s c o v e r t h e v o i c e o f God,
                 o r have I           s i l e n c e d H i m by my unfaithful
                 n e s s a n d l e v i t y , a n d m y l a c k of g e n e r o s i t y ,
      3     5.
                 s e l f - d e n i a l and g r ~ a t i t u d e ?
                      Am I c o n s i s t e n t l y s i m p l e w i t h God, or

,     I     6.
                 a r e my r e l a t i o n s w i t h H i m     characterised
                 by c a l c u l a t i o n and f a l s e h o o d ?
                       Do I z e a l o u s l y k e e p my h c a r t a s a     b
                                                                          T a-

,     I          e r n a c l c whcrc t h e Holy S p i r i t d w e l l s ?
                 I realisc t h a t only t h c pure o f h c a r t can
                 p o s s e s s God?
                                                                            Do


            7.        Do I p o s s e s s H i m s o i n t i m ~ t t * i y t 5 ~ ;
                                                                                ..
                 c o n t e m p l a t i n g H i m n o t h i n g seerns i i ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ; . s s ; : ~ ~ c
                 t o me?
8.         Do I a t t a c h a n y i m p o r t a n c e t o g r a c e i n            '-1  f
      my e f f o r t s t o a t t a i n p c r f e c t i o n , o r , p r a c -
                                                                           t
      i c a l l y s p e a k i n g , d o I r e l y s o l e l y o n my               .-       \


      own q u a l i t i e s a n d human t a l e n t s ?
                                                                                   k
                                                                                   8
                                                                                    b
9.          Do I b e l i e v e t h a t God c a n t r a n s f o r m m e
      w i t h H i s g r a c e ? Do I t r u s t i n i t ?
10.     '       What d o I d o t o o b t a i n ' t h i s g r a c e ?
1               Do I g i v e G o d ' s g r a . c e i t s t r u e v a l u e ?
      Do I t h a n k Him for it?                                                   p)
                                                                                   L.       >
12.         Am I f a i t h f u l t o H i s c a l l i n g s ? W h a t mot
            .
      i v e s prompt t h i s f i d e l i t y         --  love, faith,
      t h e p r e s e r v a , t i o n o f my v o c a t i o n , or    the
      r e s p o n s i b i l i t y of having l o s t a g r a c e          --
      which w i l l never r e t u r n ?                                            r-3

13.         Why a m I n o t m o r e f a i t h f u l t o g r a c e --
      because of cowardice, egoism, o r d i s t r a c t
      i c n s caused by o t h e r a f f e c t i o n s and con-
                                                                               -    T           I

      cerns?                                                                        if
                                                                                    ik
14.       What g r a c e s h a s God g i v e n me w i t h most
      insistence i n the recent past : humility,
      self-denial, s p i r i t of faith,         dedication
      t o others?
15.        How have I responded t o t h e s e g r a c e s ?
      Why h a v e I r e j e c t e d t h e m ? Why h a v e t h e y
      n o t h a d g r e a t e r r e s u l t s i n me?
16.         Do I r e a l i s e t h a t e i t h e r my s a l v a t i o n
      o r m e t e r n a l damnation can depend on the
              y
      a c c e p t a n c e o r r e j e c t i o n o f a single g r a c e ?
                                                                                    n
17.             DGCS   e v e r y s a c r i f i c e w h i c h God a s k s o f
      xe seem t o o m u c h , o r d o 1 g i v e a l l                with
      joy,, w a n t i n g t o b e f a i t h f u l t o H i m ,         and
           .
      t h u s t o co-operate           i n H i s work?
18.         Convinced t h a t g r a c e i s a f r e e g i f t
      f r o m God, d o I a s k . f o r i t w i t h f e e l i n g s
                                                                           --
      o f profound and s i n c e r e h u m i l i t y ? o r , do
      I demand i t o f God?
19.        Consequently, s o a s n o t t o l o s e i t , do
      I w a t c h o v e r my w h o l e way of         l i v i n g and
      w o r k i n g , my t h o u g h t s a n d w o r d s ?
20.         Do I r e c o g n i s e a n d v a l u e t h o s e g r a c e s
      w h i c h God s e n d s me b y means o f ' m e d i t a t i o n ,
      t h e H o l y S a c r i f i c e o f t h e M a s s , H o l y Comm
      u n i o n , w e e k l y c o n f e s s i o n , t h e d a i l y exam
      i n a t i o n o f c o n s c i e n c e and t h e p r a c t i c a l . -
      e x a m i n a t i o n s ? Do I t a k e a d v a n t a g e o f t h i s
      g r a c e , o r do I allow myself t o be c a r r i e d .
      b y r o u t i n e , o r by l a c k o f f a i t h ?
21.     Have I y e t c e n t r e d my l i f e                on   these
      moments of i n t i m a c y w i t h God?
22.         Do I o f t e n g o t o Communion w i t h t h e
      c e r t a i n t y t h a t t h e L o r d h a s many i n s p i r -
      a t i o n s and g r a c e s i n s t o r e f o r m e t h e r e
      t o make me more h o l y ?
23.        I n d i f f i c u l t m o m e n t s , am I        convinced
      t h a t God i s w i t h m e , a l t h o u g h      f     do n o t
      f e e l Him sensibly?
24.         Am I p r e p a r e d t o r e c e i v e a n y i n s p i r a t -
      i o n s w h i c h God may s e n d me b y means o f a
      r e a d i n g , a c o n v e r s a t i o n o r a good e x a m p l e ?
25.          Do 1. g e t d e l i b e r a t e l y d i s t r a c t e d i n   -
       t h e c h a p e l , o r d o I a t l e a s t ma'ke v e r y           -
      . l i t t l e e f f o r t t o a v o i d them?
26.       Which a c t of p i e t y d o I v a l u e m o s t ? I s
    t h i s b e c a u s e i t c o s t s me l e a s t , b e c a u s e i t
    n o u r i s h e s m s e n t i m e n t a l i t y more,
                        y                                      o r b-  e
    c a u s e i t b r i n g s me n e a r e r t o C h r i s t ?
27.                  a
          ~ 1 , i c h c t o f p i e t y c o s t s m e m o s t ? Why?
28.        Do I g i v e my f u l l a t t e n t i o n t o p r a y i n g
      w e l l ? Do I make t h i s e f f o r t e v e n when c i r                   '

      c u m s t a n c e s a r e a d v e r s e ? D o e s t h i s act h e l p
      me p o s i t i v e l y t o a p p r o a c h God?
29.         Do my c o n s c i e n c e e x a m i n a t i o n s g i v e me
      p r a c t i c a l r e s u l t s ? Do I a l w a y s f i n d o u t
      t h e c a u s e s o f my f a u l t s o r o f my r e s i s t -
      a n c e t o g r a c e ? Do I f i r m l y r e s o l v e i n -
      God''s p r e s e n c e t o e r a d i c a t e my s i n s ?        -       -

30.      Where d o my t h o u g h t s m o s t f r e q u e n t l y
      tend     --
              t o w a r d s God, t o w a r d s o t h e r s , o r
      towards myself?
31.        To w h a t d o I g i v e m o s t f r e q u e n t a n d -
      p r a c t i c a l importance: t h e i n t e r i o r l i f e ,
      my p e r s o n a l c o m f o r t , my s t u d i e s ?
32.         What c o n c e r n i s m o s t o f t e n i n my h e a r t
      --    d o I g i v e i t t o C h r i s t , t o Mary, t o -
      s o u l s , or t o m y s e l f a n d my p r o b l e m s ' ,  to
      t h o s e a r o u n d me, o r t o some u n c o n t r o l l e d
      affection?
33.     "  Which m o t i v e s o r c r i t e r i a g o v e r n my -
      actions       =-     t h o s e o f r e a s o n , o f w i l l and
      duty, love for Christ,or those of passing
      s e n t i m e n t a l i t y o r personal comfort?
34.         Do s o u - l s , e s p e c i a l l y t h e o n e s I h a v e t o
      s a v e , o c c u p y a p l a c e i n my t h o u g h t s a n d i n
      my h e a r t ? Are t h e s e s o u l s my way o f t h i n -          k       '
                                 - 4 -
                                                                  .
                      i n g of a o d l o v i n g t h e Kingdom o f C h r i s t 7
                      Do I remember t h e m i n my p r a y e r s ? Do I
                      m a k e s ~ c r i f i c e sfor t h e i r s a l v a t i o n ?
               35.         How i s my p u r i t y o f i n t e n t i o n ? H a v e 1 a
                      s u p e r n a t u r a l s p i r i t when w o r k i n g ? Do a l l
                      my a c t i o n s show my d e p e n d e n c e o n God ,              -
                      which I acknowledge and a c c e p t ?
               36.         Do I g i v e t o e v e r y t h i n g t h e v a l u e      it
                      h a s i n t h e e y e s o f God?
               37.       Do I a l l o w v a n i t y , s e n t i m e n t a l i t y , laz
                   i n e s s o r s u p e r f i c i a l i t y t o i n f i l t r a t e my
                                                                                          -
                   l i f e of p i e t y ?
               38.       What d o I d o when I s e e m y w e a k n e s s              --
                   do I g e t discouraged? D o I s t r i v e t o r e -
                   new my programme? Do I a l l o w m y s e l f t o b e
                   c a r r i e d away by a n x i e t y , . f e a r i n g f o r t h e
                   f u t u r e of my v o c a t i o n a n d my s o u l ?

:
! .

il-
    'q   a..
               39.          Have I a d e f i n i t e , s o l i d programme o f .
                      work? 'why d o I n o t f o l . 1 0 ~ i t         --   through
                      c o n f u s i o n , t h r o u g h levity a n d s u p e r f i c i a l .
                      i t y , or from l a c k o f w i l l - p o w e r     and lazy      -
                      ness?
               40.       Have I any s p i r i t u a l i d e a l ? Which i s
                      it   --
                            J e s u s C h r i s t , s o u l s , t h e L e g i o n , my         ,
                      vocation?
               41..        Do I a p p r e c i a t e my v o c a t i o n a s God's
                      g r e a t e s t g i f t t o my s o u l ? Would I a b a n d o n
                                                  m
                      i t e a s i l y ? What a I d o i n g t o p r e s e r v e i t ?
               4.
                2         Do I s e e Mary a s t h e a l l - p o w e r f u l moth
                      er who o b t a i n s all graces f o r h e r sons ?
                                                                                    -
                      Am I u s e d t o t r e a t i n g my B l e s s e d M o t h e r
                      i n a f a m i l i a r a n d t e n d e r way? Do I come
      t o h e r in a l l m o m e n t s of difficulty, and
      in t h e t r i u m p h s and h a p p i n e s s .as.well.?
43.         In short, is my l n t e r i o r l i f e the'.en-
      t h u s i a s t i c l i v i n g o f t h e Kingdom of   --
      Christ in m y s o u l ?
44.      Is m y w h o l e l i f e p e r m e a t e d by t h e L e g
      ionary m o t t o : P E R R E G N U M C H R I S T 1 AD
      GLORIAM D E I      ?
                               2 ORIENTATIOiY OF MY LIFE
                               .
                                   TOWARDS GOD




1.        What i s my n o r m a l a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s God
     --   one of unconsciousness,of s h a l l o w n e s s
     o r of s e l f - s u f f i c i e n c y , o r o f h u m i l i t y-
     a n d s i m p l i c i t y ? H a v e 1 complete c o n f i d e n c e
.    i n Him?
2.         Is my i n t e r i o r l i f e f u l l o f t h e c o n -
     v i c t i o n t h a t s i n c e I have r e c e i v e d a l l        -
     f r o m God, a l l m u s t b e r e t u r n e d t o H i m ?
3.         Has a n o b s e s s i o n f o r G o d ' s g l o r y  --
     t h r o u g h t h e Kingdom o f C h r i s t become t h e
                                        y
     r u i i n g p r i n c i p l e o f m life?
4.       Do I c o n s o l i d a t e t h i s t e n d e n c y g i v e n ;
     my l i f e h y t r y i n g t o d e e p e n my a w a . r e n e s s
     o f God's g i f t s t o m e ?
5.         Does t h e a w a r e n e s s o f m L e g i o n a r y v o-
                                             y                     c
     a t i o n h e l p me on t o w a r d s t h i s c o m p l e t e -
     surrender?
6.       Do I s i n c e r e l y seek t h e g l o r y of          God
     i n e v e r y t h i n g I d o , o r d o I o f t e n s e e k my
     own i n t e r e s t s ? Is t h i s a l w a y s t h e c a s e ?
7.         D o selfish i n t e n t i o n s o f t e n s l i p u n n o-
                                                                    t
,    i c e d i n t o my l i f e ?
    8.         Has t h e i d e a o f g i v i c g g l o r y t o God                     I
          e v e r made me a v o i d m o r t a l s i n ? What
          venial sin?
                                                                of
                                                                         .             I
                                                                                       1I
                                                                         -
I
    9.          Has my c o n s c i e n c e e v e r b e e n t r o u b l e d
          b e c a u s e o f my b e i n g a l w a y s e a g e r t o d o
          w h a t p l e a s e s me anci t o f l e e f r o m w h a t b o t          .
i         h e r s me? I s t h i s a v o l u n t a r y a t t i t u d e ? 1  s
          i t my n o r m a l o n e ?
    10.         Does much t i n e p a s s b y w i t h o u t my e v e r
          t h i n k i n g o f God's ~ l o r y ?
    11.    What i s t h e u s u a l m o t i v e o f my a c t i o n s ,
       God's w i l l , s o m e t h i n g m a r g i n a l t o i t , o r
        something c o n t r a r y t o it?

                                                                      ---
    12.        Do I l o v e a n d d e s i r e t h i n g s o n l y i n s o
          f a r a s God c a r e s a b o u t t h e m a n d l o v e s
          them? I s t h i s f o r H i s sake?
    1.3,   Does t h e f a c t o f k n o w i n g t h a t a t e a c h
        moment I am d o i n g G o d ' s w i l l s u s t a i n my
        good h u n o u r and h a p p i n e s s ?
    14.       Do I l i v e a n d a c t u n i t e d t o s o m e t h i n g ,     '


          o r s o m e o n e , o t h e r t h a n God?
    15.        I n s h o r t , do I l i v e f u l l y submitted t o
          t h e m o s t h o l y W i l l o f God?
    16.        Can I s e e my C o n s t i t u t i o n s , n o r m s  and
          a d v i c e s i n t h e l i g h t o f God's w i l l , s o a s
          t o f u l f i l l t h e m w i t h more f i d e l i t y a n d
          love?                                       I
                                                                         -
    17.       Do I t h e r e f o r e f o s t e r c o n s t a n t , com-
        p l e t e a n d ~ u p e r n a t ~ r a e p e n d e n c e o n my
                                              dl
        superiors?
    18.      Have I t h e h a b i t o f d e p e n d i n g o n God

                                  - 8 -
                                                                                            t
                                                                                            I
      f o r everything?
19.      Do I avoid a l l deviation by controlling
      my thoughts, my a f f e c t i o n s and desires?l).o
      I discipline my actions s o a s not t o s t r a y
      from t h e path o f God's w i l l ?
20.      D o I often find m y s e l f l o o k i n g f o r t h e '
      esteem o f o t h e r s ?
21.         Do I l i v e my i n t e ~ i o rl i f e w i t h t h e de
      s i r e of uniting m y s e l f t o God,and k e e p i n g .
      my dependence on Him a l w a y s a l i v e ?
                               3. JESUS     CHRIST IN M Y .LIFE




1.       Does Jesus C h r i s t o c c u p y a n y p l a c e         in
      my l i f . e ? I s i t t h e f i r s t p l a c e ?
2.         Do I know H i m i n t i m a t e l y ?
3.       What i s t h i s k n o w l e d g e l i k e    --
                                                      i s it
      course, s u p e r f i c i a l , formal, intense or
      stemming from p e r s o n a l u n i o n w i t h C h r i s t ?
4.          A m I e a g e r t o know C h r i s t m o r e  each       -
      d a y ? What m e a n s d o I u s e t o know H i m m o r e
      a n d m o r e ? Do I a s k i n s i s t e n t l y for the
      g r a c e of knowing H i m d e e p l y ?
5.         Does t h e s t u d y o f t h e G o s p e l a p p e a l t o
      me? I s t h i s a s u p e r n a t u r a l s t u d y ? D o I t r y
      t o r e a d b o o k s w h i c h h e l p me t o know J e s u s
      C h r i s t ? Why  --    because of v a n i t y ,        desire
      f o r l e a r n i n g , o r b e c a u s e I w a n t t o know
      Him better?
.6.         Do I o f t e n m e d i t a t e o n my H o l y R u l e s ,
      C o n s t i t u t i o n s , norms and a d v i c e s , con-
      s c i o u s t h a t t h e y w i l l h e l p me t o know t h e
      s p j . r i t o f C h r i s t more t h o r o u g h l y ?
7.       Who i s J e s u s C h r i s t f o r me -- a m e r e
      historical personality, or the              intimate
--I
             f r i e n d o f my s o u l , my Father a n d my B r o t h                 -
-I           er?
          8.        Can I s a y t h a t I l o v e J e s u s C h r i s t ?
             What i s t h i s l o v e l i k e ? Is i t d c e p ? I s i t
             s u p e r f i c i a l , d e p e n d i n g o n my i m m e d i a t e e n
I            v i r o n m e n t , o r p u r e l y s e n t i m e n t a l ? Is it i
             t e n s e and e n d u r i n g , r u l e d by t h e w i l 1 , p e ~
                                                                                 ;     -
             s o n a l , v i r i l e o r passionate? Is it merely
R            v e r b a l o r i s i t a l s o shown i n d e e d s ?
L1
 ;
          9.          Have I g r a s p e d t h e r e a s o n s why           I.   -
                s h o u l d l o v e Him? Do I m e d i t a t e    on          them
                frequently?
          10.         P r a c t i c a l l y s p e a k i n g , how f a r h a s t h e
      .         l o v e o f C h r i s t b r o u g h t me    --    t o the stage
                of not offending Him? C r , of f u l f i l l i n g                     -
                H i s W i l l j o y f u l l y , of d e s i r i n g t o d o        -
                g r e a t t h i n g s f o r Him,of p r e p a r i n g m y s e l f

3               i n t h e b e s t p o s s i b l e way t o . s a v e many
                souls for Him?
          1 .
           1       Do I l o o k upon t h e p e r f e c t l i v i n g o f
I            my r e l i g i o u s l i f e a s my g r e a t e s t o f f e r i n g
             t o J e s u s C h r i s t and t h e s u r e s t s i g n o f m     y
             l o v e f o r Him?

I         12.         Am I f i l l e d w i t h l o v e f o r C h r i s t ? Do I
                l o o k f o r o t h e r l o v e s t o make u p f o r i t ?
          13.      Do I b e l i e v e t h a t i f I fail i n my l o v e
                for Jesus Christ,           I s t r a y from t h e true
                path?

3         14.        Which . a s p e c t s o f C h r i s t ' s p e r s o n a l i t y
                m o s t a t t r a c t me? Why am I e n t h u s i a s t i c
                about Jesus Christ?
15.          Do I t h i n k a l o t a b o u t C h r i s t o r a b o u t
       H i s i n t e r e s t s ? I n d i f f i c u l t moments, do I
       f o r g e t H i m e a s i l y ? I n moments.of h a p p i n e s s
       d o I e v e r remember Him?
16.         Go I s e e f a m e , f r i e n d s h i p , c o m f o r t , e s
      t e e m , h u m i l i a t i o n , s i c k n e s s , p u b l i c and-
      p r i v a t e e v e n t s from C h r i s t ' s       point      of
      view?
17.       Are my c r i t e r i a s u p e r n a t u r a l , or are
       they f a t a l i s t i c , rationalistic, or too                 -
       human?
18.      Do I a l w a y s s e e e v e r y t h i n g       as     Christ
      would s e e i t ?
19.        Am I h a p p y t o t h i n k t h a t I s u f f e r      for
      H i s s a k e , t h a t I e n j o y m y s e l f , t h a t I work
      a n d d o e v e r y t h i n g f o r Him?
20.        Is J e s u s C h r i s t my a l l ? I s He t h e s o l e
      a i m o f my m i n d , h e a r t a n d w i l l ?
21.        Can I s a y t h a t I love J e s u s C h r i s t ? .
22,         Am I e a g e r t o b e o n e w i t h H i m ?   Do I
      b e l i e v e t h a t t h i s w i l l b e t h e most p e r -
      f e c t f o r m o f my l o v e f o r Him?.
23.         Are my l o v e s t h o s e o f C h r i s t ? Do I
      l o v e t h e F a t h e r a s He d o e s ? Do I l o v e
      Mary, t h e C h u r c h ,      t h e Pope,         t h e Legion
      my s u p e r i o r s a n d b r o t h e r s , a n d a l l m e n , i n
      t h e s a m e way?
2Y.      Do I s p e a k a l o t a b o u t C h r i s t o r a b o u t
      dis interests?
25.       Have I a l i v e l y i n t e r e s t i n s e e i n g H i m
      known a n d l o v e d ?
26.         Does my p r i e s t l y a n d L e g i o n a r y Ideal,


      d r a w me i r r e s i s t i b l y towards J e s u s Christ?
                                                                ,   .
                   4. THE GRACE OF GOD IN                 A4Y LIFE




1.         Do I c o n s i d e r t h e s t a t e o f g r a c e a s t h c
     f u n d a m e n t a l and immediate r e a l i s a t i o n    of
     t h e Kingdom o f C h r i s t i n my s o u l s a n d         in
     the scdls of others?
2.        Is t h e s t a t e o f . g r a c e t h e b e g i n n i n g o f
     a l i s a n c t i f i c a t i o n , e s p e c i a l l y mine ?
3.      Do I a p p r e c i a t e g r a c e ? Do I l o v e      it?
     Do I p o n d e r a n d r e f l e c t o n i t o f t e n ? Does
     it happen t h a t I n e v e r do t h i s ?
4.         D o I g i v e g r a c e a p l a c e i n my     efforts
     t o reach p e r f e c t i o n ? O r do I almost          ex-
     c l u s i v l y d e p e n d o n my own a b i l i t i e s  and
     human t a l e n t s ?
5.         Am I c o n v i n c e d o f t h e n e c e s s i t y  of       -
     g r a c e ? Do I b e g a n d s e e k i t w i t h . i n t e n s e
     p l e a s f o r h e l p ? Are t h e y b o t h s i n c e r e and
     and humble?
6.       Do I a l w a y s f e a r my own w e a k n e s s e s ? Do
     1 t r u s t c o m p l z t e T y a n d s o l e l y i n God ?
7.      D o I Lecoxe d i s c o u r a g e d w i t h     my d e -
     fects and f a i l i n g s , o r d o I c a r r y on w i t h
     new r e s o l u t i o n s ? A m I w e i g h e d down w i t h
1           with fear o r with d e s p a i r ?
      8.        P r a c t i c a l l y s p e a k i n g , d o I b e l i e v e "at
            God i s i n c a p a b l e o f c h a n g i n g m y w a y s , o r a m
            I c o n f i d e n t t h a t H e can save m e and t r a n s -
            form m e i n t o a s a i n t ?
I     9.         On t h e c o n t r a r y , over c o n f i d e n t in t h e
            g r a c e o f God, d o I r e f u s e          t o co-operate     -
            with -it?
      10.         Have I g o t t h e s p i r i t o f
            i s h i n g myself i n o r d e r t o
                                                            reparation,pun   -
                                                            o b t a i n more -

I    11.
            g r a c e f r o m God?
              Am I a t t e n t i v e t o God? Do H i s i n s p i r -
        a t i o n s and l i g h t s r u l e my l i f e , o r does my
        egoisa o r levity,             routine o r superficial-
        i t y , m y p r i d e o r lack of g e n e r o s i t y ?
     ,12.                                                                         -
                  ~ h : a tp r e v e n t s t h e H o l y S p i r i t f r o m w o r k
            i n g o n my s o u l     --      my own p r i d e a n d s e l f -
            s u f f i c i e n c y , my s e n s u a l i t y , egoi'sm o r d i s s
            ipation?
                                                                                  -
     13.         Do I o f t e n t h a n k God f o r t h e g r a c e s H e
            h a s g i v e n m e ? A m I s i n c e r e e n o u g h t o show
                        y
            it i n m a c t i o n s ?
     14.          D O ' I . e a s i l y f i n d God's i n f l u e n c e i n . my
       '    s u c c e s s e s ? Do I a t t r i b u t e t h e m e r i t t o H i m
            o r t o myself?                                                            . .
     15.         Can I r e m e h b e r p r e c i s e l y . t h e m o s t    re-
            c e n t g r a c e s w i t h God h a s g . i v e n me?
     16.      Have I r e s p o n d e d t o t h e m w i t h g e n e r o s -
         i t y a n d f a i t h , w i t h a half-hearted         effort
         or with a blank refusal?

-1
i.
     ,17.     Why d i d I r e j e c t t h e s e g r a c e s ? Why d i d
          I not put them to better use -- from lack
          of self-denial, generosity or reflection,
          from lack of love or faith?
    18.      Do I believe that I reject God when I
          fail to respond to His graces? Does this
          upset me at all? Do I try to make amends     .
          afterwards?
    19.      Do I realise that my eterna.l.salvation
          or condemnation could depend on one grace
          used or rejected? Do I always keep the
          words of St. Augustine in mind:"Fear God,
          who passes by and does not return" ?
             Have I made a special resolution nev-
          er to refuse God anything?Have I resolved
          to please Him always?


''
'
             Do I louk upon the advices and.correct
          ions of the superiors, the demands of.the
          Holy Rule,the good example of my brothers
          as graces from God for my soul?
    22.      Do I joyfully give God whatever He  -
          asks of me? Does any sacrifice seem .too
          much?
23.          Do I see Mary as my Mother who obtains
          all the graces her sons need?
                           5.   DELICACY      OF CON.SC/ElVCE




1.         Have I d e l i c a c y o f c o n s c i e n c e i n my r e
     l a t i o n s w i t h God a t p r e s e n t ?
                                                                      -
2.         What i s t h e a t t i t u d e o f my w i l l a s r e -
     g a r d s s i n ? Is it u n y i e l d i n g o r e a s y g o i n g ?
     Does i t d e b a t e t h e p r o s a n d c o n s o f t e m p t
     a t i o n when i t c o m e s , o r y i e l d    up t o t h e
     p o i n t where mortal s i n begins?              Is t h i s
     habitual?
3.         Does my s e n s i t i v i t y r e g i s t e r   .venial
     s i n s , o r do I o v e r l o o k them?
4.         A m I t r u c l y s o r r y when I r c a l i s e     I     -
     h a v e f a l l e n , o r am I a l r e a d y u s e d t o t h i s ?
5,         Do I r o a l i s e t h a t I i n s u l t God when I
     i g n o r e H i s g r a c e s ? Am I s o r r y f o r t h i s ?
     Do I i m m e d i a t e l y t r y t o make up f o r t h i s
     f a u l t a g a i n s t God's f r i e n d e h i p ?   ,

6.      Have I a g r e a t e r o r l e s s e r d e l i c a c y of
     conscience than before?
7.      Do I a c c o m p l i s h my d u t y , my i u l e s , t h e
     norms and a d v i c e s I r e c e i v e ,  with minute
     care?
8.        Do I f a i t h f u l l y c o m p l y w i t h t h e demand:
      o f my vows?
9.          Do I z e a l o u s l y g u a r d my h e a r t a s a t a -
                                                                    b
      e r n a c l e where o n l y t h e B l e s s e d T r i n i t y             -
      dwells?
10.         I f God a s k s s o m e t h i n g w h i c h c o s t s m e a
      l o t , d o I l o o k f o r many e x c u s e s i n o r d e r
      t o r e f u s e i t ? Do I r e p l y w i t h a g e n e r o u s
      and e n e r g e t i c ' y e s ' ? Wave I a f i r m r e s o l
      u t i o n n e v e r t o r e f u s e God a n y t h i n g , o r d o e s
      a n y s a c r i f i c e w h i c h God a s k s o f me s e e m
      t o much?
11.      I n my i n t i m a t e d e a l i n g s w i t h God, d o I
                  y
      give H i m m f u l l attention?
12.         Am I g u i d e d by H i s i n s p i r a t i o n s     and           -     \,
      g r a c e s , o r b y my e g o i s m , p r i d e , s e n s u a l i t y
      or laziness?
13.         Do I h a b i t u a l l y r e s p o n d t o t h e v o i c e          -
      o f God w i t h i n me, o r h a v e I f o r c e d H i m t o
      k e e p s i l e n t b e c a u s e o f my i n f i d e l i t y ,            -
      p r i d e , l e v i t y and d i s s i p a t i o r l , s u p e r ~ f i c i a l
      ity, routine,             l a c k o f g e n e r o s i t y o r of-
      gratitude?
1 4        Do I a l w a y s t h a n k God f o r H i s g r a c e s ?
15.         Do I e a s i l y s e e H i s h a n d i n my s u c c e s s
      e s , o r d o I a t t r i b u t e t h e m e r i t t o myselfT
16.         Do I a p p r e c i a t e t h e g r a c e s w h i c h           God
      s e n d s me b y m e a n s o f t h e s a c r a m e n t s ,           or
      t h e a c t s of p i e t y ?

17.         Why am I n o t m o r e f a i t h f u l t o t h e               --
      g r a c e o f God?
1
.    18.         What h i n d e r s t h e a c t i o n o f t h e
            S p i r i t i n me?
                                                                      Holy    -
     19.       Do I a l w a y s k n o w - t h e w i l l o f God t h r o
            my s u p e r i o r s , w h o e v e r t h e y may b e ?
            quently,
                                                                   Conse
                            do I obey w i t h s u p e r n a t u r a l
                                                                              -
                                                                              -
            spirit?
     20.          Do I p r a c t i c e h a b i t u a l d e p e n d e n c e on
            my s u p e r i o r s ? Do I b e l i e v e t h a t        i n any
            d i f f i c u l t n o m e n t I c a n s u b s t i t u t e my own
            criteria for theirs?
     21.          Do I o b e y t h e i r commands f a i t h f u l l y , o r
            am I c a r e l e s s o r s l u g g i s h ? A r e t h e i r d e
            s i r e s a m a t t e r o f o b e d i e n c e f o r me? ~ h a F
            o f t h e norms and weekly a d v i c e s ?
m

     22.          A m I c o m p l i c a t e d o r c u n n i n g i n Z o n f e s-
                                                                               s
            i o n a n d s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n ? Do I u s e zn
            b i g u o u s words?
                                                                              -
n
     23.          Do I f u l f i l l t h e d u t y o f c h a r i t y t o -
            t h e e x t e n t o f n o t o f f e n d i n g God i n my
            n e i g h b o u r ? I n what $ o i n t a m I most incili
            n e d t o s l i p u p - - m a k i n g smart r e m a r k s
                                                                              -
1           a b o u t my B r o t h e r s , j u d g i n g t h e i r a c t i o n s
            o r i d e a s i n a t w i s t e d way, o r g i v i n g h a d
            example and h i n d e r i n g t h e i r s a n c t i t y ?
     2'1.      Do I t r e a t o t h e r s h a r s h l y , s e l f i s h l y o r
            rudely?
P1
J    25.         Do I l e t m y s e l f b e c a r r i e d a w a y b y        -
                                                                            re
           s e n t m e n t , by l i k e s o r d i s l i k e s ?
                 Have I a c h a r i t a b l e a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s
           my b r o t h e r s ? Do I l o v e t h e m a s much a s I
           t h i n k I l o v e God?
27.         Am I c o n c e r n e d a b o u t my b r o t h e r s ' h o l i
      n e s s , o r i s i t o f n o i m p o p t a n c e t o me. ?
                                                                           -        I
                                                                                   -1
T8.         Is my f r i e n d s h i p w i t h t h e m g e n u i n e    ,            I
      p r o m p t e d by s u p e r n a t u r a l m o t i v e s ?
29.      Have T a n i n n e r t e n d e n c y t o l o o k down                     --
      on o t h e r s ? Have I shown t h i s o u t w a r d l y ?                '   -I
30.      Do I s a c r i f i c e m y s e l f b y      helping
                                                          -           my
      brothers?
31.         Have I r e a c h e d s u c h d e l i c a c y o f    cons-
      c i e n c e a s t o b e a l m o s t s c r u p u l o u s on t h i s
      point?
1.        What i s my i d e a o f p r a y e r          --
                                                       just a ser
     ies of petitions, o r a constant,intrinsic-
     d e d i c a t i o n o f my w h o l e s e l f t o God ?
2.         Do I g i v e i t i t s d u e i m p o r t a n c e ?        Am I
     c o n v i n c e d of t h e n e e d f o r i t ?
                                               I

3.         What l i n e s d o e s my p r a y e r u s u a l l y f o l-
                                                                    l
     O W ? I s i t a heavy d u t y , n necessity o r a n
     i n t i m a t e , p e r s o n a l demand?
4.        H a v e I o f t e n m e d i t a t e d on t h e A p o s t l e ' s
     words : "Pray w i t h o u t c e a s i n g n ?           Have         I
     a p p r e c i a t e d t h i s from p e r s o n a l e x p e r i e n c e ?
           I s my p r a y e r p e n e t r a t e d b y  l i v i n g --
     f a i t h ? Do I ask with t h e g r e a t e s t           confi- d
     ence, k n o w i n g t h a t I s p e a k w i . t h a F a t h e r
     who l o v e s me? A m I s i . n c e r e i n t h a t I t a k e
     t h e s a m e a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s God a,s w i t h p e n ?
     Am I h u m b l e ? A m I a w a r e t h a t I a m          speak-
     i n g t o s o m e o n e whom I h a v e o f f e n d e d g r e a t
     l y ? Is my p r a y e r s u p e r n a t u r a l : d o I f e e i
     God's p r e s e n c e ? Is i t i n t i m a t e a n d s i m p l e ?
        -How d o I 2 0 m y m e d i t a t i o n ?            D0-s      it
     u s u a 1 , l y c o s t me a lot?Is i t m e r e l y a n o t h e r
         community a c t i o n , o r . d o I e a g e r l y l o o k     -
         f o r t ~ a r dt o i t d u r i n g t h e d a y ?
7.            Do I t r y t o e n t e r i n t o d i r e c t , s i m p l e ,
         c o n f i u e n t c o n t a c t w i t h God?
8.        D u r i n g i t , am I a l w a y s c o n s c i o u s o f my
       sinfulness?
9.           What a r e my f a v o u r i t e t h e m e s    --    those
       w h i c h c o s t me l e a s t e f f o r t ,    o r t h e ones
       m o s t h e l p f u l f o p my s p i r i t u a l l i f e ? Do I
       o f t e n c h a n g e t h e t h e m e ? Do I k e e p my SUE
       e r i o r up t o d a t e on t h i s ?
10.       Do I ' o f t e n m e d i t a t e o n t h e p e r s o n      of
       Christ?
     .       Do I t r y t o p r e p a r e t h e i d e a s f o r med    -
       i t a t i o n w i t h t h e same i n t e r e s t     and    care
       which I i n t e n d t o d e v o t e t o t h e m e d i t a t -
       i o n n e x t d a y ? Do I u s u a l l y t h i n k      o f them
       while going t o bed? I n t h e morning, do I
       remember them o n l y a f e w m i n u t e s b e f o r e
       t h e meditation, o r do I l i v e t h e s e n t i -
       m e n t s o f i t s i n i t i a l p r a y e r f r o m t h e m c -.
                                                                       m
       e n t I g e t up?
12,          Do I s t a r t t h e m e d i t a t i o n w i t h d e c i s
       i o n a n d enepgy, o r w i t h d i s t a s t e a n d l a z y
       n e s s ? Do I b e g i n p r o m p t l y a n d e n t h u s i a s t -
                                                                          T
       tally?
'13.      When s t a r t i n g , d o I a l w a y s u n i t e my
       prayer with Christfs,thus offering the -
       meditation t o t h e Father f o r a precis'e           -
       Intentiou?
14.         Do 1 a s k G o d f o r t h e g r a c e o f b e i n g as
       w o r t h y a s p o s s i b l e i,n H i s p r e s e n c e ?
          Do I stress my p o s i t i o n as a c r e a t u r e a n d
          s i n n e r i n a s p e c i a l way d u r i n g t h e i n i t i a l
          prayer? United t o Christ,do I believe,hope
a         a n d l o v e f o r t h o s e ' who n e i t h e r b e l i e v e ,
          hope n o r l o v e ?
    15.         I n developing t h e ideas,do I s t a y c l o s e
          t o God a n d c o n v e r s e w i t h H i m , o r i s i t --               ,
          j u s t a b o r i n g monologue?
    16.                                                    e
               What t h o u g h t s g o b e s t f o r m d u r i n g med
          itation        -- t h o s e of h u m i l i t y , , s i m p l i c i t y -
          a n d t r u s t i n God, f a i t h . . . ?
    17,        Do I make c o l l o q u i e s e v e r y d a y ?         Does
          r o u t i n e d o m i n a t e them?
8             Do .I v o l u n t a r i l y l o s e a       s i n g l e second
          t o distractions?
    19.         Do I c a r e f u l l y e x a m i n e t h e m e d i t a t i o n ?
          D o I l e t r o u t i n e c r e e p i n ? D o I j o t down
          t h e f a i l i n g s I had o r t h e i n s p i r a t i o n s        I
          r e c e i v e d ? Do I n e v e r f a i l t o c o m p o s e a
          p r a c t i c a l prayer o r p e t i t i o n , nor t o s e t
          myself a p r a c t i c a l f r u i t ?
20.             What k i n d o f r e s u l t s h a s my m e d i t a t i o n
          d u r i n g t h e d a y ? Does t h e t h o u g h t    of    it
          h e l p me t o c o r r e c t t h e p u r p o s e   o f my a c t
          i o n s ? Does i t make me r e n e w t h e d i r e c t i o n
          o f my 1 i f e : t h e G l o r y o f God a n d t h e d o i n g
          of H i s will?
21.           D u r i n g t h e d a y d o I remember t h e f r u i t
          I s e t myself? Do I p u t i t i n t o p r a c t i c e ?
22.           What p l a c e h a s t h e B l e s s e d        Virgin       i n
          my l i f e ?
                                                         #




    23.       Do I g i v e a c c o u n t t o a n y o n e a b o u t how         -1
          I d o t h e m e d i t a t i o n ? Do I u s u a l l y c o n n e c t
          i t w i t h my p a r t i c u l a r e x a m i n a t i o n ?
i                                                                               1
    24.         Has my v o c a l p r a y e r a n y m e a n i n g ? Do I
          t r y t o g r a s p t h e t h o u g h t s I e x p r e s s o r a-
                                                                         l
          l y ? Do I a i w a y s t r y t o g a i n m o t i v a t i o n -
          f r o m i t ? Do I m a k e t h i s p r a y e r t h e o b j e c t
          o f my mental p r a y e r ?
                                                   7.   THE I~IAS!~'




    1.      Do I f i n d t h e Mass j u s t a n o t h e r l o n g         -     .
         and boring a f f a i r ?
    2.         H a v e I come t o f i n d i n i t t h e p o w e r of
         C h r i s t ' s s a c r i f i c e ? Do I s e e i t   as    the
         l i n k b e t w e e n my l i f e a n d G o d ' s ? Do I k e e p
         i n t e r i o r s i l e n c e d u r i n g it  s o as    t o be
         a b l e t o p e n e t r a t e t h e meaning o f       what     I
         l e a r n by f a i t h ?
    3.      Do I d i r e c t my p e r s o n a 1 p r a y e r t o w z r d s
         union with Christ?
    4.                                       y
               What t h o u g h t s f i l l m m i n d    before and
         d u r i n g H o l y Mass? Is t h e r e o n l y b o r e d o m
         o r t i r e d n e s s , o r d o I remembcr t h a t         here
         I f i n d t h e c e n t r e o f my s u p o r n a t u f a l l i f e ?
    -
    ..
    I
    .
               Do I Lry t o g r a s p t h e s e n t i m e n t s    of -
         J e s u s C h r i s t ? Do I m a k e t h e m my own? Do I
         d o s o n a r r o w l y a n d s e l f i s h l y , 01- am I o n e
         w i t h t h e w h o l e M y s t i c a l Body?
    6.         Does t h e s a c r i f i c e o f C h r i s t   reawaken
3        my s o r r o w f o r sin? D o e s i t e n l i v e n a n d i -
         c r e a s e my p u r p o s e o f a m e n d m e n t ?
                                                                     n

    7.       Is t h e Mass my j o y , b e c a u s e      I find in       -
      it t h c f u l l e s t thanksgiving t h a t I could
      p o s s i b l y o f f e r t o God f o r H i s      infinite          -
      k i n d n e s s ? Do I f o l l o w C h r i s t ' s  sacrifice
      o n my k n e e s b e f o r e t h e F a t h e r , a s a c r e a t
      ure who a d o r e s H i m ? D o e s t h e e x a m p l e o f -
      t h e dying Christ help m e t o take t h i s a t t
      i t u d e ? Do I come t o Mass, t h e t a b l e                of-
      d i v i n e b l e s s i n g s , a w a r e of my p o v e r t y ? Do
      I o f f e r t h e s a c r i f i c e o f C h r i s t t o make
      s a t i s f a c t i o n f o r my s i n s ? Do I p r e p a r e my
      l i f e during t h e day through s a c r i f i c e ,                 -
      l o v e and t h a n k s g i v i n g s o a s t o o f f e r t h e
      Mass n e x t d a y t o t h e F a t h e r i n u n i o n w i t h
      Christ? .
8.    :   ~ a v 'eI g o t t h e h a b i t o f u n i t i n g m y s e l f
      a t a n y moment o f t h e d a y t o          the      'Mass
      which i s b e i n g c e l e b r a t e d somewhere e l s e
      i n t h e world? -          ,



9.          Do I f o l l o w t h e M a s s w i t h a . m i s s ' a l , o r
      n o t ? Do I' g e t d i s t r a c t e d s e v e n w h i l e d o i n g
      this?
10.          Do t h e I n t r o d u c t o r y R i t e s s e r v e t o :In
      ' i t e m e more c l o s e l y t o Our Lo2d?               Do t h e y
      i n s p i r e me w i t h f e e l i n g s o f h u m i l i t y ,  --
      t r u s t and s u p p l i c a t i o n ?
11.      Do I f i n d i n t h e o p e n i n g p r a y e r , the
   R e a d i n g s and t h e G o s p e l ,    the doctrine
   w h i c h w i l l b u i l d u p t h e Kingdom a n d w h i c h
   p r o m p t e d C h r i s t t o d i e f o r me?
12.         What d o t h e f e a s t s a n d      commemoration
      o f t h e s a i n t s mean f o r me -- s o m e t h i n g -
      w h i c h h a s n o personal s i g n i f i c a n c e , o r t h e
      triumph of C h r i s t ' s      d b c t r i n e , a n i n v i t a-
                                                                       t
          i&   to holiness?
    13.    Does the Profession.of Faith give my
I   - my hopes?
       faith new life? Does the 'Gloriat lift up

    14.    At the Offering of gifts,do I offer my
       whole life with the Host which is going
       t o be sacrificed?
    15.      Do I also try t o share Christ's senti-
          ments in the intimacy of the Eucharistic
          Prayer:do I share His deepest-sufferings?
          Do I simply get bored?
    16.      Am I distracted during the consecrat-
          ion, or do I live the sublimity .of that
          moment?
    17.      Do I try to be truely one with Christ
          in these monents of immolation, of glori-
          fication of the Father, of redemption of
          souls, before He, is received in Communion?
.   18.     Do I .pray the Lord's Prayer with Him
         as a summary of ail His interests.and of
         all our needs?
        . .
    19.     Do the petitions for.help remind me o f
        my wretchedness? Do I come to.Holy Commun
         ion with feelings of humility?
                                                 -
    20.    Do I try to learn the lesson Christ
                                                 -
       .teaches a s He is fully consumed in Commun
        ion?
    21.      Am I one with Christ's intentions dur-
          ing thanksgiving, or is this no more than
          a miserable a c c o u n t of my own worries and
          needs?
22.        Is t h e Mass j u s t a n i s o l a t e d c o m p a r t -
      m e n t o f my d a y , o r i s i t t h e c e n t r e o f         -
      everything?
23.        Do I r e c a l l t h e c o n s e c r a t i o n w h i c h I
      m a d e d u r i n g Mass, my p r o m i s e        t o die with
      C h r i s t t o a l l t h a t does n o t concern t h e
      Kingdom? Do I g i v e i t n o v a l u e o r f o r g e t
      about it completely?
                                             8. THE EUCHAXIS'




           Do I l o o k f o r w a r d t o H o l y Communion?Am
        1 eager t o receive Christ?
              Is t h i s s o m e t h i n g i s o l a t e d , w i t h o u t a n y
        greater s i g n i f i c a n c e i n my l i f e ?               Is    it
        g o v e r n e d by r o u t i n e , o r d o I u s e i t t o u-          n
        i t e m y s e l f m o r e t o C h r i s t , t o i n c r c a s e ny
        s t o r e of g r a c e o r t o g a i n t h e s t r c n g t h t o
        f u l f i l l my d a i l y d u t y ?
3.            Do I b e l i e v e i n t h e R e a l P r e s e n c e        of
        C h , r i s t i n the E u c h a r i s t ?
4.           Do 1 u n i t e m y s e l f t o H i m       throughout             -
        t h e d a y by f r e q u e n t s p i r i t u a l c o a m u n i o n s ?
5.            Is t h o T a b e r n a c l e a p l a c e of r a c r e a t -
        i o n f o r m e , o r d o I f i n d o n l y boredom,
        w i t h s i l e n c e m a t c h i n g my own    lack    of -
        communication?
'6   . t h e I n e myt
               s
                   x
                     day a constant preparation
                     d a y ' s Communion,
                                                    for
                                          o r do I never
        t h i n k of i t ?
7
:             Do I s e e k o u t s a c r i f i c e a t all  times
        s o that my o f f e r i n g w i t h ~ h r i i t t o t h e
        F a t h e r will b e g e n u i n e ?
     8.       Do I look on the perfect fulfillment             -
           of my duty as the best possible preparat            -
           ion for Communion?
     9.         When do I begin my .immediate preparat-
           ion    --   on getting up, during meditation
           d u r i n g Mass o r -just as I approach the al-
           %ar?
     10.   Does my inner recollectiol: match              my
        outward devotion at these times.?
     11,    ' Do I direct the whole Mass       towarlds    -
        t h i s coming of Christ to m e ?
     12.      1 s my thanksgiving a dull monologue,or
           a tender, loving dialogue with Christ? Do
           I reduce it to a series of more or less
           selfish requests?
     13.      Do I listen to Christ's voice? What d o                '

           I speak t o Him about -- myself and my pro
                                                    -
           blems , o r is Kingdom, His Church, the
           Legion, the apostolate or my superiors          -
           and brothers?
     14.     Do I get distracted during .thanksgiv-
.   .     ing? Do I 'think of other t h i r i g s ?
                      . .

      15.    Do I appreciate the greatness of the
          gift I have received? How do I show my
          thanks?
     16.       Do I say the vocal prayers with rout-
           h e , cr do I use them t o carry on my dia-
          logue with Christ?
                                                               I .

     17.   Have I ever come to Communion unsure
        of whether I was in the state o f grace?
        Have I done everything possible to    be
      q u i t e s u r e a b o u t t h i s ? Have I s e i z e d o n
      e x c u s e s t o r e a s s u r e m y s e l f f o r t h e moment?
;     Have I g o n e o n . w i t h o u t              carin- ?g
18.         Do I r e g u l a r l y r e c e i v e Communion w h i l e
      b e i n g "more o r l e s s " a t p e a c e o n t h i s -         -
      point?
19.         Do I come ' a n d v i s i t C h r i s t ? Do I come
      o f t e n : a s o f t e n as I can o r o n l y from              -
      t i m e t o time?
20.         Why d o I come -- b e c a u s e I l o v e C h r i s t ,
      because I feel i n need.of H i s help, o r be
      c a u s e e v e p y o n e e l s e c o m e s ? Do I d o s o   in
      o r d e r t o be noticed?
21.      Do I f e e 1 , m o r e o f a L e g i o n a r y    in     the
      presence of Christ?
22.        What s p i r i t d o I p u t i n t o t h e E u c h a r i-
                                                                   s
      t i c H o u r ? Do I d o a l l I c a n t o a v o i d
      getting distracted o r f a l l i n g aslee- ?      p
23.        D I make i t a l o v i n g
             o                                dialogue          with
      C h r i s t ? Is it i n t i m a t e ?
24.        What d o I t h i n k o f o n g e n u f l e c t i n g i n
      Christ's presence          --d o e s it r e m i n d m e t o
      a d o r e H i m , t o be humble,     o r i s i t a mere
      automatic gesture?
                                9. EXAMINATION           OF CONSCI!:NCE




    1.        What i s my i d e a o f t h e e x a m i n a t i o n of
         c.onscience : an annoying d i s t r i b u t i o n ,       a
         s i m p l e l i s t o f my f a u l t s , o r a means o f
         knowing m y s e l f and o f knowing God's w i l l
         f o r me?
    2.         H o w d o I make i t : i s i t j u s t a s u p e r -
         f i c i a l g l a n c e ? Do I do i t c a r e f u l l y , s e r                      -
         i o u s l y , c o n s t a n t l y , s i n c e r e l y , g e t t i n g down            '/
         t o t h e r o o t s o f my f a u l t s ?                                             L-1
    3.         Does i t c o s t me a l o t t o d o t h e e x a m i n
         a t i o n ? Do I u s e a l l t h e t i m e ? A m I cage';;
         t o make amends i f I d o it b a d l y ? Do I n o t
                                                                                              i]
                                                                                              ."




         i c e a n y p r o g r e s s ? I n w h i c h a s p e c t s i s it
         m o s t e v i d e n t , a n d i n w h i c h i s it a b s e n t ?
    4.         How d o I r e a c t when I s e e my f a u l t s ? D o
         I r e m a i n i n d i f f e r e n t ? Do I become discour
         a g e d ? Does m y s e l f - l o v e r e b e l ? Do I s i x
         c e r e l y r e p e n t ? Does my s p i r i t o f h u m i l i t y
         increase?
                                                                                      '   r   7
                                                                                              '1
I   5.

    6.
            Do I make my e x a v i n a t i o n a l o v i n g
         versation with Christ?
            D o I t r u s t o n l y i n G o d ' s g r a c e i n mak-
                                                                             c o-
                                                                                n             -



         ing t h e p r o p o s a l o f amendment?
I   I   7.                                                                    u
                  Has m e x a m i n a t i o n a n y p r a c t i c a l i n f l -
                           y
             e n c e d u r i n g my d a y ? I s i t f r u i t f u l ?
                                                                         --
    1   8.

        9.
                         y
                What is m p a r t i c u l a r e x a m i n a t i o n
             about?
                                      y
                   How d o I d o m w e e k l y p r a c t i c a l e x a m i n
             a t i o n ? Do I t h i n k t o o m u c h t i m e i s g i v e F
             t o i t ? Do I make a n e f f o r t t o g r a s p i t s
             importance?

    I
                          10. FAITH AND         SUPERNATURAL SPIRIT



         ..
-
    1.      Has f a i t h t h e p r i m a r y r o l e i n my l i f e ?
         Has it any r o l e ?
    2.      How i s my f a i t h ? Is i t a l i v e a n d a c t -
         ive,simple o r only emotional, o r routine?
    3.         Am I aware o f t h i s g r e a t g i f t    which           -
         God h a s b e s t o w e d o n me?Am I t h a n k f u l f o r
         i t ? How:merely i n w o r d s , o r b y h a p p i l y f u l      -
         f i l l i n g t h e demands o f t h i s f a i t h ?
    4:      Are my c r i ' t e r i a t h o s e o f a t r u e C h r i s-
                                                                      t
         ian?
    5.        A r e my l i k e s a n d d i s l i k e s b a s e d on SUE
         e r n a t u r a l p r i n c i p l e s ? What c o n t r o l s my -
         w i l l :my e g o i s m a n d d e s i r e f o r c o m f o r t , o r
         my p r i n c i p l e s ?
    6.         Arc  my    d e e d s a l w a y s C h r i s t i a n ? What i s
         t h e m o t i v e f o r a l l my deeds?My v a n i t y , e g o
         i s m , o r s e n s u a l i t y ? My'love f o r ~ e s u s -
                                                                             .
         Christ?                                                                 ..



    7.        D o I always a c t with p u r i t y of i n t e n t -
         ion?
    8.        Do I b e l i e v e t h a t my d u t y a n d t h e H o l y
              Rules a r e t h e e x p r e s s e d w i l l o f God f o r     --
              me?
    '   9.       Do I believe i n
              red Eucharist with            a l i v i n - and a c t i v e -
                                                                           -
                                            t h e m y s t e r y of t h e Sac
                                                        g
              faith?
I       10.         I s t h e dogma o f t h e p r e s e n c e o f t h e
              Blessed Trinity within t h e soul a v i t a l
                                                                            -
                                                                                -
              b e l i e f f o r me?-0r is it j u s t a pious i d e a ,
              a s o u r c e o f j o y and g r a t i t u d e ? Is my r e s -
              p e c t and v e n e r a t i o n towards s o p e r i o r s ,   -
              e q u a l s a n d o t h e r s b a s e d o n t h i s dogma?        -
P             Does it i n c l u d e r e s p e c t a n d m o d e s t y f o r
              myself?
        11.      Do I b e l i e v e i n t h e wovk o f t h e H o l y
           S p i r i t within s o u l s ? D I keep i n t e r n a l
                                                o                               -
           s i l e n c e i n o r d e r t o hear his i n s p i r a t i 3 n s ?
           A m I o b e d i e n t t o t h e m ? Has t h i s dogma a n y
           p r a c t i c a l b e a r i n g o n my l i f e ?
        12.         Do I b e l i e v e i n G o d ' s p o w e r t o m a k e m e
              h o l y ? Do I i n s i s t e n t l y a s k f o r h i s h e l p ?
              W i t h h u m i l i t y , o r d o I t h i n k t h a t my hum-
              a n c a p a b i l i t i e s are s u f f i c i e n t ?
        13.         Does t h e d o c t r i n e o f t h e M y s t i c a l Body
              h a v e a n y p r a c t i c a l e f f e c t s o n m l i f e ? Do
                                                                  y
              I t h e r e f o r e b e l i e v e i n t h e v a l u e o f my  -
              sacrifice united t o Christ's?
        14.         Do I b e l i e v e i n t h e L e g i o n ? I n h e r c z * i t
              e r i a ? I n h e r m e t h o d s ? Do I b e l i e v e t h a t
              God h a s s u p p o r t e d h e r ? I s t h i s f a i t h o f
                                                                                -
              m i n e p u t into a c t i o n ?
        15.         Do I b e l i e v e t h a t my r u l e s a n d c o n s t i-
                                                                             t
              u t i o n s , l i v e d w i t h l o v e , h a v e t h e power
      t o s a n c t i f y me?
16.        Do I h a v e f a i t h . i n my s u p e r i o r s ?         Am I
      d o c i l e t o t h e i r w i s h e s ? A r e my l o v e , r e s -
      p e c t a n d v e n e r a t i o n f o r t h e m b a s e d on    - -
                                                                        -.
      s u p e r n a t u r a l p r i n c i p l e s , o r o n p u r e l y hum
      a n ones?
17.         Do I u s u a l l y e l e v a t e my moat o r d i n a r y
      a c t i o n s t o the s u p e r n a t u r a l plane?
18.         Do I b e l i e v e i n t h e C h u r c h ? I n h e r m i s
      s i o n ? Co h e r t r i u m p h s make me h a p p y a n d
                                                                         -
                                                                         -     '

      h e r w o r r i e s t r o u b l e me? Do h e r s u f f e r i n g s
      make me s a d ?
19.         Do I b e l i e v e i n e t e r n a l l i f e ? Does      --
      t h i s b e l i e f m a n i f e s t i t s e l f i n any p r a c t -
      i c a l way? Does i t b r i n g me t o l i v e my               -
      r e l i g i o u s l i f e with greater perfection?
20.        Do I b e l i e v e i n s o u l s , a n d i n my p o s i t
      i v e o r h a r m f u l effect on t h e m ?
                                                                        -
21.         Do I e a s i l y s e e God i n e v e r y t h i n g t h a t
      h a p p e n s ? I n w h a t h a p p e n s t o me p e r s o n a l l y ?
      Does n a t u r e s p e a k t o me o f God?             ,



22.         Do I t h a n k God f o r a l l t h e s e gifts o f
      n a t u r e a n d g r a c e , seeing t h e m a s h a v i n g
      come f r o m H i m ?
                                       11. PURITY      OF INirr'NTrON




1.         Am I c o n v i n c e d of t h e n e e d f o r p u r i t y
      of   interation?
2.. . , . A m I p r e p a r e d t o put i t i n t o p r a c t i s e ?
3.          Do I l i v e s o l e l y i n a c c o r d w i t h t h e       -
      d e m a n d s o f l o v e ? Do I c o n t r o l my m i n d ,        -
      w i l l , r e a s o n , way o f b e h ' a v i n g a n d s p e a k -
      i n g , a n d my i n c l i n a t i o n s a n d t e n d e n c i e s ,
      s o t h a t t h e i r only reason for being a s                    -
      they a r e is love?
4.          W h a t is u s u a l l y t h e s u b j e c t o f my -        -
      t h o u g h t s , dreams, c o n v e r s a t i o n s , t h e ob-
                       y
      j e c t o f m a f f e c t i o n s a n d t h e c a u s e o f my
      Sears?
5'.      Do I d o e v e r y t h i n g w i t h p u r i t y o f i n -
      tention?
6.       Do I d o e v e r y t h i n g b e t t e r a s a r e s u l t
      of this?
7.          Have I some h i d d e n i n t e n t i o n w h i c h        --
                                  y
      c h e c k s o? cancels m p u r i t y o f i r t e n t i o n ?
      Do I m a k e s n y e f f o r t t o d i s c e r n a n 2 e l i m -
      i n a t e it?
8   :    Do I t h i n k t h a t i s o l a t e d a c t s o f p u r i t y
      of intention a r e s u f f i c i e n t ?
9.         Why are my a c t i o n s n o t more p e r f e c t ?
10.         D o I t r y t o deceive myself i n o r d e r                    t o
      s a t i s f y my e a s y - g o i n g s p i r i t ?
11,      Do I l o o k f o r a f f e c t i o n , a n d a c t i n o r -
      der t o attract attention? .
12.        A m I s u b j e c t t o human r e s p e c t , n e g l e c t -
      i n 3 t o do good a n d b e i n g u n f a i t h f u l t o my
      rule?
13,        Has e g o i s m i n i t s v a r i o u s d i s g u i s e s a n
      i m p l i c i t a n d e x p l i c i t i n f l u e n c e on my b e -
      haviour?
14.         What iq my u s u a l m o t i v e f o r f u l f i l l i n g
      t h e r e l i g i o u s vows    - routine? O r is the
      r e a s o n b a s e d on s u p e r n a t u r a l p r i n c i p l e s ?
15.      Do I a l w a y s t r y t o e x c u s e m y s e l f ? Why
      do I j u s t i f y m y s e l f ? Am I i n d i f f e r e n t t o -
      wards t h a t r u l e of g e t t i n g p e r m i s s i o n s ?
16.        A s r e g a r d s the o t h e r s , have I y e t g o t
      t h e ' e s p r i t de c o r p s ' and concern f o r             --
      t h e i r h a p p i n e s s ? F o r l o v e o f God d o I t r y
      t o h e l p and s e r v e them i n word, i n d e e d ,
      a n d by my p r a y e r s ? A m I h a p p y when o t h e r
      L e g i o n a r i e s s u c c e e d , s a d when t h e y f a i l ?
17.        A m I d i s c o u r a g e d on s e e i n g my own f a i l -
      i n g s , my s l o w p r o g r e s s , e s p e c i a l l y i n com-

                                                                               -
      parison with others?
18.        What t r ~ u b l e sc a n d i s t u r b my p e a c e o f
      mind   : f e a r s , f a i l u r e s , h u m i l i a t i o n s ? Am I
   .
always 'in crisis1 ? Why?
                   12. DEVOTION TO THE SACRED HEART




1.          What d o e s d e v o t i o n t o t h e H e a r t o f  - -
     J e s u s C h r i s t mean t o m e : t h e s u r e s t m e a n s
     o f s a n c t i t y w h i c h God o f f e r s me? T h e e a s -
     i e s t means t o know, l o v e a n d i m i t a t e          --
     Jesus C h r i s t ? O r i s it j u s t a s e r i e s o f         -
     monthly communions, which a r e more o r less
     f e r v e r l t , o r a s o p h i s m t o s i l e n c e my c o n - -
     s - i e n c e w h i l e l a c k i n g some o f t h e e s s e n t -
     i a l s o f t h i s d e v o t i o n , s u c h as t h e most     -
     d e l i c a t e charity, s i n c e r e humility etc. ?
           Do I know t h e h e a r t o f J e s u s C h r i s t i n   -
                                                                     -
     t i m a t e l y ? Do I r e a l i s e t h a t ' t h i s b r i n g s
     m e t o t h e v e r y n u c l e u s of t h e m y s t e r y o f
     C h r i s t , b e c a u s e God i s l o v e a n d t h e S a c r e d
     H e a r t i s t h e s y m b o l o f t h i s l o v e ? Have I
     become a c c u s t o m e d t o s e e i n g i n t h e S a c r e d
     Heart o f J e s u s t h e e t e r n a l l o v e o f God,        -
     which h a s c r e a t e d and redeemed m e and               - -
     c a l l e d me t o t h e C a t h o l i c F a i t h a n d t h e  -
     Legionary priesthood?
3.        Have I t r i e d t o r e a l i s e t h e      fact t h a t
     t h e r e v e l a t i o n o f t h e h e a r t o f Jesus      --
     C h r i s t i s God's d e s i r e t o show His l o v e        -
          f o r m a n k i n d i n t h e p r e s e n t t i m e s ? Have I
          t r i e d t o p e n e t r a t e the motive which b r o u g h t
                                                                                 -
          C h r i s t t o show H i m s e l f t o u s a s t h e p e r -
          p e t u a l v i c t i m f o r t h e s i n s o f men?
     4.         Is t h i s k n o w l e d g e o f t h e h e a r t o f  ---
                                                                        -
 I
-L
          C h r i s t a r d e n t a n d d e e p e n o u g h t o make m z
          l o v e H i m z e a l o u s l y ? Do I r e a l i s e t h a t i f
          t h e S a c r e d H e a r t i s l o v e , o n l y love c a n r e
                                                                                 -
                                                                                 -
          s p o n d t o i t ? Have I c o n s e c r a t e d m y s e l f   --
I         fully t o t h e most S a c r e d H e a r t o f J e s u s ,
          a c c o r d i n g t o t h e s p i r i t o f C3non 8 4 o f o u r
          constitutions?
     5.         V h a t i s I P ~ o v e f o r J e s u s ' ~ h r i s tl i k e ?
                                 l
          Is i t g e n u i n e , p r o f o u n d , b a s e d on     faith
          a n d r e a s o n ? Is it v i r i l e ? O r i s i t s h a l l o w
          a n d p r o m p t e d by my f e e l i n g s ? R a t h e r , i s i t
          passionate, leading me t o accept t h e s a c r i
          f i c e of the religious l i f e joyfully?
                                                                                 -
     6.         D o e s my l o v e f o r J e s u s C h r i s t p r o m o t e
          w i t h i n mc a g r e a t l o n g i n g f o r t h e a p o s t o -
          l a t e ? D o e s i t make me e n t h u s i a s t i c i n      -
--
          w a n t i n g t o show t h e w o r l d Ch17ist's lovc
          f o r m a n k i n d ? Docs i t k e e p t h e m e a n i n g o f
                                                                             -
          t h e c r y l l A d v e n i a t Regnum Tuum! l1 a l w a y s        -
          f o r e m o s t o n my m i n d , o n   t h e t i p o f my
          t o n g u e a n d e m b e d d e d i n my h e a r t ?
                                                                         --
                                                        I

     7.         H a v e I come t o u n i t c m y s e l f s o dcep1.y
          with t h i s love of Christ t h a t a l l the'               --
          l o v e s o f t h i s w o r l d n o l o n g c r mean a n y     -
          t h i n g t o m e ? Have I l e a r n e d , i n C h r l s t , t o

3         l o v e m o r e t h a n I l o v e d i n t h i s wo- l d " t o
          l o v e creaturaes more, as t h o u g h I h a d n o t
          y e t loved anything..          .. . I t ? Do I f e e l f r e e
      o f a l l commitments f o r H i s s a k e ?
8.          Can I s a y i n a l l s i n c e r i t y t h a t J e s u s
      C h r i s t i s . : m y g r e a t e s t l o v e ? Do my a c t i o n s
      p r o v e t h i s ? Do my w o r r i e s , t h o u g h t s     and
      ideals belie this?
9.          D o e s my l o v e f o r J e s u s C h r i s t b r i n g me
      t o i m i t a t e Him? I s t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f t h e
      F a t h e r ' s w i l l t h e most important t h i n g i n
      my lift, a s i t w a s i n C h r i s t ' s ? Do 1. w o r k
      t o identify myself with Christ i n const-
      a n t z e a l f o r God's g l o r y i n e v e r y t h i n g ?
      From m e d i t a t i n g o n C h r i s t , h a v e I l e a r n e d
      s e l f - f o r g e t f u l n e s s and s u r r e n d e r t o o t h e r s
      nnd d o I t r y t o p u t i t i n t o p r a c t i s e ? ,
10.           Do I think I can be a follower of t h e
      Sacred Heart without deep, p r a c t i c a l - b n d
      s i n c e r e s e l f - d e n i a l ? Does t h e t h o u g h t ' o f
                              e
      C h r i s t move m t o h a p p y , p r o m p t a n d h e r :
      o i c obedience? To minute and p e r f e c t f u l -
      f i l l m e n t of t h e Legion's c a l l t o l o v e            of
      o t h e r s ? Does i t f o s t e r i m i t a t i o n o f H i s
      m e e k n e s s a n d h u m i l i t y , a n d b r i n g me t o
      union with H l m through s t r i c t c o n t r o l o f
                                                                         --
      my a f f e c t i o n s a n d p u r i t y o f b o d y a n d m i n d ?
11.        Do I know how t o f i n d i n t h e H e a r t o f
      C h r i s t t h e most f a i t h f u l and p e r f e c t model
      of a l l t h e L e g T o n a r y v i r t u e s ?
12.         Have 1 b e c o m e u s e d t o u n i t i n g my l i f e
                          y
      of prayer, m Rule and t h e f u l f i l l m e n t of
      my d u t y w i t h t h e c o n s t a n t a d o r a t i o n w h i c h
      t h e H e a r t o f C h r i s t o f f e r s t o H i s Heaven-
      l y F a t h e r ? Can I s a y t h a t I h a v e t h e s a m e
      t h i r s t f o r s a v i n g s o u l s w h i c h f i l l e d Him?

                                 -   42   -
.. I
       13.      'when s e e n i n t - h e l i g h t ' o f t h e S a c r e d
           Heart, d o s i n , t e p i d i t y and m e d i o c r i t y a c -
                                                                              -
:I.
W
       I   q u i r e a new m e a n i n g ?
       14.       D o e s s e e i n g t h e H e a r t o f C h r i s t wounded
           by s o many i n g r a t i t u d e s , i n s u l t s a n d b y s o
I          much c o n t e m p t b u i l d u p a new h a t r e d o f s i n
           w i t h i n me?
       15.         T h e r e f o r e , a s f a r a s r e p a r a t i o n i s con-
             c e r n e d , i s t h e f i r s t s i g n the r e m o v a l o f
             whatever v e s t i g e o f s i n o r w i l f u l imper-
             f e c t i o n a f f e c t i n g my l i f e ?
       16.         To w h a t e x t e n t d o I p r a c t i s e t h e f o u r t h
             r u l e o f p e r f e c t i o n , which t e a c h e s u s t o        -
             f i n d a way o f m a k i n g r e p a r a t i o n t o t h e Sac
             r e d Heart i n everything?
                                                                                  -
       17.        Does t h i s d e v o t i o n h e l p m e t o f o s t e r    -
                                              y
             h a b i t u a l sorrow f o r m s i n s ?
       18.         Do I t r y t o make r e p a r a t i o n t o Him b y a
             h o l y l i f e s p e n t i n l i v i n g my r u l e s ?
       19.         J u s t as t h e world i s c o n s t a n t l y offend-
             i n g God, i s my l i f e o n e o f c o n s t a n t a n d        -
             m a n i f e s t e d s e l f - d e n i a l ? I n w h a t way : b y -

                                                                              --
             putting the rules of self-denial into prac
             t i s e , t h e r u l e s o f m o d e s t y , o r by s m a l l
             mortifications?
       20.         How f o r c e f u l l y d o I l i v e t h e a c t s o f r e
             paration      -                                                   -
                                l i t a n y o f t h e Sacred ~ e a r t , ~ u c K
                                                                    -
             a r i s t i c H o u r , p e n a n c e s of t h e r u l e laid -
             down by t h e p r o g r a m m e ?
       21.      When I h a v e g o t t o s u f f e r s o m e t h i n g , d o
             I remember t o o f f e r it up t o t h e S a c r e d             -
      H e a r t a s r e p a r a t i o n f o r my s i n s .
22.         Do I u s u a l l y g i v e my r e l a t i o n s w i t h t h e
      S a c r e d Heart p r a c t i c a l e x p r e s s i o n i n t h e   -
      E u c h a r i s t ? Have I made Communion a v i t a l
      e l e m e n t of my d e v o t i o n t o t h e S a c r e d H e a r t ?
      Is i t d u r i n g t h e s e moments t h a t I s e e k          -
      g r e a t e s t i n t i m a c y w i t h t h e L o r d ? Do I t h e n
      make s u r e t o p r a i s e H i m , l o v e H ' i m , a n d    -
      thank H i m f o r t h e o f f e r i n g t o t h e Father
                                                                      -
      w h i c h He c o n t i n u o u s l y m a k e s t h r o u g h H i s
      m o s t S a c r e d H e a r t , f o r a l l t h o s e who n e i t h -
      e r ? r a i s e H i m , t h a n k . H i m n o r l o v e Him?
23.         Do I a s k t h e B l e s s e d Virgin t o make m e
      grow i n t h e knowledge a n d l o v e o f C h r i s t ,
      r e a l i s i n g t h a t n o o n e was c l o s e r t o His
      S a c r e d H e a r t t h a n s h e was?
                                                                      -
                                                                      L
                            13. THE BLESSED         VIRGIN IN      M Y LIFE




I   1.           What does t h e B l e s s e d V i r g i n mean t o n e ?
             Do I s e e ? e r a s t h e M o t h e r o f J e s u s a c d m y
B        '
             own M o t h e r , who, f r o m H e a v e n , r e a l l y c o n -
             s i d e r s m e as h e r s o n ? O r i s s h e j u s t a       -
             h i s t o r i c a l p e r s o n a g e w i t h whom I h a v e s o m e
             purely incidental connections, because o f
             t h e e n v i r o n m e n t in w h i c h I l i v e ?
    2.             Has s h e a n y r e a l i n f l u e n c e i n my l i f e ?
             Is she t h e p r i n c i p a l i n s t r u m e n t which     ---
             s h a p e s J e s u s i n my s o u l b y h e r p r a y e r ,   -
             exampbe a n d m a t e r n a l a i d ? I n t h e p r o c e s s
             o f my s a n c t i f i c a t i o n , d o e s M a r y a c t a s -
             t h e l i n k u n i t i n g me w i t h C h r i s t ?
    3.          Have I p l a c e d t h e r e a l i s a t i o n of my        -
             pl3iestly and Legionary v o c a t i o n i n h e r              -
             hands?
    4.             I n t i m e s o f d i f f i c u l t y , d o c s i t coqfort
I            me t o t h i n k t h a t I h a v e a m o t h e r i n h c a ' v e n
             who t h i n k s o f me, a n d l o v e s m e a s n o o t h e r
             human p e r s o n ? Do I t h i n k a b o u t t h i s f r e q -

3            u e n t l y ? Do I b e l i e v e i t ? O v e r a n d a b o v e     -
             t h i s belief and t h e o r i c a l knowledge, a r c
             a l l my r e l a t i o n s w i t h Kary p e n e t r a t e d w i t h
      t h i s f e e l i n g of f i l i a l love and confid           -        -- 7

      e n c e ? When I a s k h e r h e l p , d o I b e l i e v e         -          i
      t h a t I am a s k i n g i t f r o m t h e m o s t l o v i n g
      o f m o t h e r s and t h e most p o w e r f u l o f q u e e n s ?             i
5,         Do I m a k e m m o s t h o l y M o t h e r a f r e q u -
                         y                                                    k. 1
      e n t theme f o r m e d i t a t i o n ?
6.      .  Do I l o v e Mary? Can I s a y t h a t I l o v e
      h e r a t l e a s t a s much a s I . l o v e my e a r t h l y
      m o t h e r ? Do I show t h i s l o v e i n a c t i o n ?
7.          What i s my l o v e f o r Mary l i k e ? I s i t
      f i l i a l , a product o f f a i t h ; i s it s e n s i b l e
                                                                         -
      profound, s u p e r f i c i a l , s a c r i f i c i a l ?
8.          What m o t i v e s b r i n g me t o l o v e h e r is  - -
      t h i s a d u t y b e c a u s e o f who s h e i s , my m o t h
      e r a n d t h e H o t h e r o f God?                                    .--\
                                                                             .' ;
9.          Do I make t h e h a b i t o f t e l l i n g Mary a l l            h!
      a b o u t my a f f a i r s , j u s t a s I w o u l d t e l l my
      e a r t h l y m o t h e r ? On t h e c o n t r a r y , a r e a i l
      my r e l a t i o n s w i t h h e r r e d u c e d t o i n v o k i n g
                                                                              -'1
      h e r h e l p i n moments o f d i f f i c u l t y a n d          -             I
      t e m p t a t i o n ? I s my t o t a l c o n t a c t w i t h Mary
      t h e mere r e c i t a l o f t h e v o c a l p r a y e r s
      w h i c h a c c o r d i n g t o t h e regulations I m u s t
                                                                     -
      s a y d u r i n g t h e d a y ? Do I e v e r r e m e m b e r   -
      Mary i n t h e t i m e s o f j o y a n d s u c c e s s ?
10.        How d o I c a r r y o u t my a c t s o f d e v o t i o n
      t o h e r ? ::ith r o u t i n e ? o r do I do them
      c o n s c i o u s l y , a s one p e r s o n s p e a k i n g t o
                                                                     -
                                                                     -
      a n c t h e r , l o v i n g l y a n d as a s o n who s p e a k s        L,
      t o h i s mother?                                                              3


11.       Am I u s e d t o p r a y i n g t h e A n g e l u s w i t h
      a s p i r i t of devotion?
    12.         What m e n t a l i t y d o I a d o p t w h i ' l e p r a y i n g
          t h e H o l y R o s a r y ? Do I t r y t o p r a i s e O u r
          L a d y , a s k h e r t o . h e l p my b r o t h e r s i n t h e i r
                                                                               -
    i     n e e d s ? Do I d o i t w i t h o u t a n y m e a n i n g ,         -
          through pure routine?
    13.        Which m e t h o d d o I u s e f o r p r a y i n g t h e
          R o s a r y ? Do I m e d i t a t e on t h e m y s t e r i e s , o n

i
          t h e i n d i v i d u a l p r a y e r s o r on n o t h i n g a t
          all?
                                                                               -
    14.         Have I c o m e t o r e g a r d Mary a s t h e corn-,
1
          p l e t e a n d p e r f e c t s c h o o l o f a l l v i r t u e ? Do
          I t a k e n a r y a s a n e x a m p l e i n f u l f i l l i n g my
          d u t y a n d my r u l e , i m i t a t i n g h e r s u b m i s s i o n
          t o t h e w i l l o f God?
    15.        Do I t a k e p r i d e i n h a v i n g a M o t h e r l i k e
          Mary, t h e m o s t b e a u t i f u l a n d h o l i e s t o f
          a l l c r e a t u r e s ? Am I t h a n k f u l f o r t h i s     -
                                                                               -
          grace?
                                            14. VOWS A N D        RULES'




    &.i t
    1         What d o e s t h e H o l y R u l e m e a c t o me? I s
              a'strait-jacket',                            s
                                              a s e r i ~ ,of r e q u i r e -
         m = n t s wkich I must o b s e r v e s o a s t o f u l f i l
         my " p r o f e s s i o n " s i n c e r e l y ? On t h e o t h e r     -
         h3nd, a r e t h e y t h e c l e a r e s t m a n i f e s t a t i o n
         o f G o d ' s w i l l f o r me, o n e o f my m o s t c e r t -
         a i n means t o p e r s o n a l s a n c t i f i c a t i o n , a n d
         a d e l i c a t e p r o o f o f G o d ' s l o v e f o r me?
    2.         Do I c l e a r t l y s e e t h e r u l e a s c o n t a i n i n g
         many g r a c e s f o r m e , a n d a s p r o j e c t i n g t h e
         i m a g e o f t h e t r u e man of t h e K i n g d o m , o f
         t h e Legionary?
    3.        Do I t a k e p r i d e i n my rule? Do I t h a n k
             f
         G G ~or .it?
    4w      Do I l o v e i t ? Is t h i s l o v e e x p r e s s e d i n
    '    word, o r do I p u t it i n t o p r a c t i s e ?
.   5.        Do I s t u d y i t , m a k i n g i t t h e s u b j e c . t o f
         f r % e q u e n t m e d i t a t i o n ? Do I k n o w i t b y   --
         heart?
    6.         Do I l i v e my r u l e , o r h a v e . I l e f t i t           -
         a s i d e ? H o w d o I l i v e i t : by n o t g o i n g          -
         f u r t h e r t h a n t h e l e t t e r , o r b y trying t o
.: : ; .     .l i v e t h c s p i r i t w l ; i c h a n i m a t e s i t ? Or --
        .   . a g a i n , d o 3: h i d e 5chi;ld       the " s p i r i t of the
              r u 3 . e " i n order t o m a k c my own i n c e r p y e t a t -
              i o n of it?
   7.               Which r u l e s d o I o b s e r v e w i t h l e a s t              --
                 perfection?
   8.                A m I one of r h o s e who t h i n k r h a t t h e -
               r u l e d o e s not h i n d under p a i n o f s i n ? G o
               I a c t a c c ~ r d i n gt o t h i s p r i n c i p l e ? OT, ars
            -- ny r u l e s a m a t t e r o f obedience f o r me?
   9.                Is i t my i d e a l t-o a d v a n c e more e a c h d a y
                                                  .
                 i n its p e r f e c t . f u l : - ~ l l r n e n t ?
   10.                 I n t h e c o u r s e o f my o r d i n a r y l i f c , is'
                   y
                 m c o n c e p t of t h e v o w s something p o s i t i v e ?
                 I s i t my b e s t m e a n s o f draw in^ c l o s e r t o
                 G o d , or i s i t s o m e t h i n g n e g a t i v e , a p e n - -
                 alty?
                                                                                       4
  11.                 Am I us2aliy c o n s c i o u s o f t h c r e a l i t y
                 of my profession, a n d of t h e r c r l e w s l of
                 v o w s I m a k e each n o r n i n g ?
  12.                 H a v e I t h e h a b i t o f t h i . n k i n g that t h e
                 v o w w h i c h I m a d e tc follow a c a l l i n g t o
                 s a n c t i t y o b l i g e s me t o a l w a y s seek p e y - -
                 f e c t i o n i n t h o u s h t , word, a n d d e e d ?
  13.                 W h a t vow c o s t s me m o s t ? !-Thy?
  14.                    Nave I r ' e d u c e d n:y v o w of p o t - c l r l t v t o a
                 s e r i e s o f x - c ? s t r i c t i o n s , more         ? . c s s in--
                                                                       . .
                                                                   '-,*%



                 p r t a c t i c a l , la m a t t s r s o f ownersi::j??           Ha.vn- I
                 y e t m a s t e r e d t h e s p i r i t o f p o v c r 4 ; y ? fiow i i m
                 I p r 0 g r e s s j . n ~ i n p o v e r l t y o f s p :.~ :.~ ~ . : . am I
                                                                                   -
 ....
                                                                           A   -




                 d e . t a c n h e d from e v e r y t h i . n g forei_r:! t o C o d ?
15.         What i s my m o t i v e f o r k e e p i n g t h i s vow?
      Is it r o u t i n e ? Am I s i m p l y a f r a i d of b r e a k
      i n g i t ? Do I l o v e p o v e r t y a s p r a c t i s e d by'-
      C h r i s t ? Does t h i s vow make m e r e d o u b l e m     y
      d e p e n d e r c e on s u p e r i o r s ' ?
16.           D o I t a k e p r i d e i n ,ny vow o f c h a s t i t y ,
      o r . . d o e s i t u n c o n s c i o u s l y make m e u n u s u a l ,
      i s o l a t e d f r o m t h e r e s t of t h e w o r l d ? How
                                          -
,


      d o I o b s e r v e t h i s VGW              minutely, joyfully
      A m I i n s e n s i t i v e ? I n w h a t p a r t i c u l a r as-
      pect?
17.         What m o t i v e s e n c o u r a g e me i n my o b s e r -
      v a n c e of t h i s vow : Love f o r C h r i s t , fear
      o f f a l l i n g i n t o sib, t h e d e t e r m i n a t i o n and
      c o u r a g e which i t s f u l f i l l m e n t demands, o r
        y
      m l o v e f o r s o u l s , . s e e n i n t h e l i g h t of my
      f u t u r e a p o s t o l a t e ? Am I a l s o p u r e i n       -
      heart?
18.         I n d i f f i c u l t moments, h a v e I e v e r b e e n
      s o r r y I t o o k t h e vow o f o b e d i e n c e ? Do- I
      o b e y in a. p u r e l y m e c h a n i c a l way? Can I say
      t h a t I am p r e c i s e i n t h e o b s e r ~ v a n c eo f        -
      t h i s vow?
19.         What d o I s e e m o s t c l e a r l y when         I deal
      with a superior           -
                                God? O r d o I s e e            a per-
      s o n who i s a l w a y s a g a i n s t me? Do I          see a
      f a t h e r wfo i s always r e a d y t o h e l p          me in
      time of danger?
20.        What i s m p r i n c i p l e m o t i v e f o r o b e d -
                        y
      ience    -  t o a v o i d c o m p l i c a t i o n s i n my l i f e ?
      2 r , on t h e o t h e r h a n d , t o become i n t e g r a t -
      e d w i t h t n c m y s t i q u e a n d s p i r i t o f t h e Leg
      i o n on t h i s i m p o r t a n t p o i n t , o r t o l o v e     -
C h r i s t , who was o b e d i e n t f o r m y s a k e ? Do I
have m e r e l y natural a n d r a t i o n a l i s t i c .-
motives?
                                 15. POVERTY




1.         What is my usual attitude towards the         -
        vow of Poverty? Am I indifferent or aware
        of my vow, responsible in its practise? Do
        I love it?
2.         D.0 I often meditate on the meaning of
        this vow, on detachment from all created
        things in order to love Christ wholeheart-
        edly?                         . .


3.         Does Christ, who was poor, teach me any
        thing by His example? Does His poverty   -
        strike me as the most natural thing, some-
        thing completely necessary?
4.         A m 1-completely poor, or is there some-
        thing which holds my attention, for exam-
        ple stamps, notes, my uniform, memories      -
        of my family?
5.         With what intention do I use what I
        have - for my own well-being, to foster
                                                 --
        vanity or sensuality, or.for the Kingdom
        of Christ?
6   .      Can I say that I am poor in spirit?
 5.
 b.
 F': .
 I'
 5           .
 j_



 b,,
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  b.
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  5..

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  t2.


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  ,

  t .
. I:.
  b,
  g,
  i. i
  f,
  L,             7.        A m I r e a l l y p o o r ? Have I g o t o n l y w h a t
     C'
     ,I.
                       i s s t r i c t l y necessary?
     ij
     r~
     5?          8.          Do I a l w a y s l o o k f o r w h a t i s l e a s t a t t
     y                 r a c t i v e , t h e p o o r e s t a n d m o s t - z b j e c t ? DO--
                       I o f t e n m e d i t a t e on t h e r u l e o f p e r f e c t i o n
      7.
      8. '


      9 :
                 ,     w h i c h t e a c h e s me t h i s ?
                                                                                        -
      $!

      I
      F.         9.         When I h a v e not g o t s o m e t h i n g , d o I
       :.              m o r t i f y ny d e s i r e f o r c o m f o r t a n d s e n s u a l
                       i t y by t r y i n g t o feel t h e e f f e c t s o f r e l -
       gR              igious poverty?
                 10.         Do I know how t o c o m b i n e p o v e r t y of           -
                       s p i r i t w i t h a s e n s e o f d i s t i n c t i o n ? Do I
                       t a k e a d v a n t a g e o f t h i s c r i t e r i o n o f dis-
                       t i n c t i o n t o l o o k f o r w h a t i s a o s t c o n f o r- t
                                                                                        ~
                       a b l e , most l u x u r i o u s , and t o f o s t e r m y , -
                       s p i r i t o f v a n i t y and s e n s u a l i t y ?
                 11.      A r e t h e r e a n y s u p e r f l o u s t h i n g s i n my
                    r o o m ? D o e s t h i s n o t w o r r y me?
                 12.          Do I u s e p e r m i s s i o n s a s a means o f e x -
                        c u s i n g m y s e l f , t o h a v e m o r e i h s n i s s t r i c-
                                                                                           t
                       ly n e c e s s a r y ? A m I l a x i n i n t e r p r e t i n g  -
                       p e r m i s s i o n s ? Do I a s k f o r t h e n w i t h c l a r -
                        i t y a n d r e c t i t u d a , o r d o I h i d e some c i r -
                       c u m s t a n c e s i n o r 2 e r t o have them g r a n t e d ?
                       Do I r e ~ l i s et h e n e c e s s i t y o f a s k i n g f o r
                       p e r n ~ i s s i o n s 01ily i n g r a v e m a t t e r s ? What -
                       a b o u t t h e s m a l l t h i n g s ? Do I t e l l t h e S U E
                       e r i o r s . w h e n e v e r f presume a p e r m i s s i o n ? I s
                       t h i s often?
                 13.      Am I i r ~ r e s p o n s i b l ci n t h e u s e o f t i m e ?
                                                                                       --
                       Do I w a s t e t i m e d e l i b e r a t e l y ? Do I c o n s i d
                       er t h e loss o f t i m e as a f o r m a l f a u l t
      a g a i n s t poverty?
14.        Do I l i v e c o n s c i o u s o f t h e f a c t t h a t          -
      w h a t I u s e i s o n l y on l o a n ?
15.         A m I u s u a l l y t h r i f t y ? Do I t r e a t t h i n g s
      c a r e f u l l y ? Am I n e g l i g e n t a n d c a r e l e s s i n
      t h e i r u s e ? Do I damage t h e m ? Do I a s k f o r
      a p e n a n c e when I damage s o m e t h i n g , n o ma't-
      t e r how s m a l l ? O r d o I c o n s i d e r t h i s a s            -
      s o m e t h i n g for n o v i c e s o n l y ? Do I i n f o r m         -
      t h e s u p e r i o r when I f i n d s o m e t h i n g damag-
      ed?       D o I t r e a t t h e community p r o p e r t y          -
      with care?
16.         Have I u s e d a n y t h i n g as my o w l ' w i t h o u t
      p e r m i s s i o n ? Haae I k e p t a n y t h i n g w i t h o u t
      p e r m i s s i o n ? When I am g i v e n s o m e t h i n g , d o
      I always b r i n g it t o t h e s u p e r i o r ?
17.         Have I a s k e d f o r a n y t h i n g w i t h o u t p e r - . ,
      m i s s i o n ? Have I g i v e n a n y t h i n g , l e n t a n y -
      t h i n g , s o l d a n y t h i n g , changed o r bought               -
      a n y t h i n g w i t h o u t p e r m i s s i o n ? Have I t o l d
      t h e s u p e r i o r immediately?
18.         How d o I r e h c t w h e n , s o m e t h i n g t h a t I    -
      u s e i s t a k e n f r o m me? A m I s a d , a n x i o u s , , -
      rebellious, dissatisfied or indifferent?
      I f , on t h e o t h e r h a n d , I am g i v e n some-
      t h i n g , a m I o v e r j o y e d , s e c r e t l y and i n t i m-
      a t e l y pleased o r indiffekent?
19.         Have I y e t become d e t a c h e d from e v ' e r y -
      t h i n g , whether b i g o r s m a l l , o r i s t h e r e
      s o m e t h i n g s m a l l t o w h i c h I am s t i l l      --
      attached?
      .1. Is my purity the most delicate express-
        ion of my love for Jesus Christ?
       2.         Do I    realise that since sin is the re-
               sult of    an inborn tendency, only self-den
               ial and    sacrifice, together with the grace
               of God,    can save me from falling in this?
       3.         Do I by any chance have a basic princie
          ..
               le of never denying myself? Qf never giv-
               ing up anything, of knowing everything? Of
               enjoying everything pleasing and advantag-
               eous to me, avoiding complications through
               thinking of its influence in my future    -
               Life?
     .LC.         Do I reject all bodily concessions,
               because from past experience I have learz
                                                         -
      .        ed that this attracts temptations and     -
'.             weakens my will-power? Do I systematically
               combat against anything easy or dissipat-
               ing, and against any comfort-loving spirit
                                                     -
      5,          A m I so lacking in mortification that
               the least mishap draws bitter complaints
               from me?
                                                                 .   .
      6    .        Do I o b s e r v e t h e r u l e s o f m o d e s t y t o
               t h e l a s t d e t a i l ? Which o n e s d o I b r e a k           -
                                                                                       -       1
               most o f t e n ?
      7:           Do I a l w a y s t r y t o k e e p m y s e l f b u s y ?            -   --' I
               Have I g o t t h e h a b i t of w o r k , o r d o I h a v e
               t o b e p u s h e d , f o r c e d o u t o f my l a z i n e s s ?
      8.            Do 1 . w o r k w i t h t h e ' i n t e n t i o n o f d e n y -
               i n g m y s e l f ? Do I a l w a y s h a v e s o m e t h i n g t o
               offer t o Jesus Christ?
      9.            What i s m a t t i t u d e when f u l f i l l i n g
                                    y                                              -
               t h e p e n a n c e s w h i c h t h e s u p e r i o r s g i v e me?
               Do I s e e t h e m a s s o m e t h L n g f r o m w h i c h       it
               would h e i n c o n v e n i e n t t o a b s t a i n , o r a s a
               valuable a i d i n forming v i r t u e ?
      10.           F i n a l l y , d o I know how t o d o m i n a t e my
               tendency towards pleasure, a t l e a s t inso-
I              f a r as I d o n o t v i o l a t e m c h a s t i t y w h i c h
                                                   y
I .            I h a v e o f f e r e d t o God?
      11.      Do I n a t u r a l l y t e n d t o w a r d s c a r n a l
         p l e a s u r e , p l e a s u r e o f t h e e y e s , of t a s t e ,
                                                                                  -
          o f t h e s e n s e o f s m e l l ? I s t h i s v e r y mark-
               ed?            *
      12.            A r e - t h e r e p l a c e s i n w h i c h my c h a s t i t y
               c o u l d b e r u i n e d ? Do I a v o i d t h e s e a u t o m a t
               i c a l l y , w i t h o u t a n y h e s i t a t i o n ? Do I h a v e
               t o t h i n k a l o t b e f o r e d o i n g s o ? Do I t h i n
               k t h a t t h e r e i s n o n e e d f o r f l i g h t ? Do I
                                                                                    -
               a c t a s i f I was g o i n g away f r o m s o m e t h i n g
               from which I s h o u l d have f l e d i m m e d i a t e l y ,
               a f t e r h ~ v i n gs e e n - i t ? A m I o v e r - c o n f i d e n t ,
               t h i n k i n g t h a t I am'immune t o t h i s sin?
               Why '- b e c a u s e i t i s a l o n g t i m e s i n c e I
                                                                                  -
                                         -   56   -
                                                                         C
      f e l l , o r s i m p i y b e c a u s e I am a r e l i g i o u s ?
      O r , o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , m i s t r u s t i n g my own
      w e a k n e s s , d o I t r y t o c u l t i v a t e a holy         -
      f e a r of God?
13.         Do I e n e r g z t i c a l l y r e j e c t a n y t h i n g   -
      w h i c h c o u l d o n l y i n c r e a s e my s e n s u a l i t y ?
      Do I a t t a c h n o i m p o r t a n c e t o i t i n           order
      t o d e r i v e p l e a s u r e f r o m it? With t h e ex-
      c u s e t h a t it i s n o t a s i n , o r t h a t it              is
      o f good i n t e n t i o n , do I a c c e p t any s t i m -
      u l u s w h i c h e x c i t e s my p a s s i o n s ?
4           Have X e n o u g h s e l f - c o n t r o l a n d r c l i g -
      i o u s modesty t o r e a l i s e i m m e d i a t e l y what
      are d a n g e r o u s o c c a s i o n s f o r my i m a g i n -
      a t i o n ? D o I overcome t h o s e t h o u g h t s a b o u t
      s u b j e c t s which a r e 'our't a s f a r a s I am                 -
      concerned?
15.         How d o I g u a r d      my e x t e r n a l s s n s e s ? A s
      r e g a r d s s i g h t , do   I look a t everything I
      h a p p e n t o s e e ? Am     I modest o n l y w h i l e i n
      t h e h o u s e ? When I       go o u t , am I c a r e l e s s        -
      w i t h my g l a n c e s ?
16.          Have I y e t r e a c h e d t h a t g r a d c o f m o r t -
      i f i c a t i o n r e q u i r e d o f me w h e r c b y I d o . n o t
      l o o k a t everything a n d e v e r y o n a ? By n o t
      r e a d i n g e v s r y t h i n g I w a n t t o ? Not y . i c l d -
      i n g t o my s e n s u a l i t y a n d d e s i r e f o r . c o r r i -
      f o r l t i n posture a n d t o u c h ? Do I d o all              -
      t h i s n o t s o l e l y t o deny myself buthecause
      l o v e of J e s u s C h r i s t demands i t ?
17.'  H a v e 1 a h a b i t u a i r e s p e c t for my b c d y ?
   Do I u s e t h e s e n s e o f t o u c h with d e l i c a c y ?
       Does t h e s a m e a p p l y f o r t h e s e n s e of               --
       sight?
18.          D o I u s u a l l y p a y a t t e n t i o n t o t h e phy-
       s i c a l q u a l i t i e s o f my n e i g h b o u r ( f a c e ,    -
       figure ctc,) ?
19,          Do I u s u a l l y d e n y m y s e l f b y n o t l o o k -
       i n g ' - a t l i c i t t h i n g s which I 1-ilte, s o a s
       t o avoid looking a t unsuitable things                             --
                                                                               -
       more . e a s i l y ?
20.          Do I u s u a l l y c a l m my c o n s c i e n c e w i t h
       s o p h i s m s when i t p r o t e s t s , d i s m i s s i n g i t s
                                                                               -
       o b j e c t i o n s a s c h i l d i s h s c r u p l . e s ? Do I com
       p r o m i s e w i t h s i n s o a s t o know p r e s e n t d a y
       problems of t h e w o r l d , a n d t o e x p e r i e n c e
       t h e 2 r o b l e m s w h i c h w i l l be m e t w i t h o n        -
       the apostolate?
21.         I s my h e a r t d e f i n i t e l y i n c l i n e d t o w a r d s
       C h r i s t , o r does it s u f f e r g r e a t c r i s e s , .         -
                      by companions, memories o r . : i m -
       ages?
22.        Do I r e a l i s e t h a t t h e r e i s ' n o o t h e r        -
       way o f g a i n i n g t h e t r u e L o v e w h i c h w a n t s
       t o know n o t h i n g b a s e o r e a r t h l y , a n d t h a t
       my h e a r t w o u l d a l w a y s be f u l l o f ' a n g u i s h
       i f I l e f t God, t o Whom I h a v e c o n s e c r a t e d
       myself?                                            ,  -

23.          By n o w , am I c o n v i n c e d t h a t , e v e n       -
       t h o u g h human l o v e i s s o m e t h i n g n o b l e , i t
       i s a great b e t r a y a l f o r s o m e o n e who h a s
       c o n s e c r a . t t . d h i m s e l f . t o God?
21:.       Am L convinced t h e t having                chosen
           t h e l o v e of Jesus, I h a v e c h o s e n t h e                 -
       o n l y l a s t i n g l o v e i n this l 2 f e ? Do I s u r r -
       e n d e r myself c o m p l e t e l y t o H i m , w i t h o u t    -
       f e a r s f o r the f u t u r e o r r e s e r v e s f o r t h e       -
       p r e s e n t ? Are t h e r ' e many s m a l l , d a l i c a t e  -
       d e t a i l s o f t h i s l o v e ? Do T r e m e m b e r    Him
       o f t e n ? Do I a c c o m p a n y H i m i n t h e B l e s s e d
                                                                             -
       S a c r a m e n t ? Do I s p e a k o f H i m ? Do I w i l l i n g
       l y make s a c r i f i c e s f o r H i m ?
- 5.
2           Does my w i l l c o n t i n u e its       surrender t o
       H i m e v e n when o v e r - s e n s i t i v e friendships            -
       grow w i t h i n m e , and s e n s i b l e     love of        God,
       of Christ, i s l e s s e n e d ? Have          I t h e n got      -
       t h e courage t o break off t h e s e f r i e n d s h i p s
       o r d o I t r y t o p l a y down o r s i m p l y d e n y         -
       t h i s a f f c c t i o n ? Do I h i d e i t f r o m t h o s e t a
       whom it s h o u l d b e r e v e a l e d ? Hav-e I g o n e s o
       f a r a s t o s h o w e x t e r n a l s i g n s of a f f e r t i o n ?
26.          H o w d o I t r e a t t h o s e whom I f i n d a t t r a c
       t i v e ? Do I avoid all s e a r c h i n g words, t e n -
       d e r g l a n c e s , f l a t t e r y a n d p r a i s e ? Do I con-
       t r o l w o r r i e s a n d c o n c e r n for t h o s e t o w a r d s
       whom I feel i n c l i n e d ?
27.          Do I a s s u m e false a t t i t u d e s s o a s t o - .
       gain t h e l o v e o f others? Do I u s e p r a i s e                -
       o r e x t e r n a l v a n i t y for t h e same p u r p o s e ?
       H a v e I not y e t o v e r c o m e anxiety a b o u t my
       a p p e a r a n c e , l e a v i n g a s i d e over-stressed      -
       and a f f e c t e d n e a t n e s s i n m d r e s s ?
                                                     y
                                                                                 .   .
28.        Can I s a y t h a t I come t o J e s u s e a c h d a y
       ir! C o n ~ m u n i o n w i t h a c l e a n e r h e a r t which-
       i s more f u l l y d i r e c t e d t o w a r d s H i m ? I s     -
       Holy C o m n ~ u n i o n a .necessary r e q u i r e m e n t for
       me a n d a h e l p i n k e e p i n g p u r i r y of s o u l      -
      and body?
29.      3 o 1 . c o n s i d e r my Most H o l y M o t h e r a s               -   -1
      my m o s t p o w e r f u l h e l p e r i n s a f e g u a r d i n g   -
      my p u r i t y ?
30.         F i n a l l y , am I s a t i s f i e d w i t h k e e p i n g
      a s o r t of coclrnon c h a s t i t y o r d o I live i t
      w i t h a s t r o n g d e s i r e f o r p e r f e c t i o n beca-
                                                                           -       I
                                                                                   L



      u s e it i s a v i r t u e which c o n c e r n s l o v e ?
      Does t h e e x a m p l e o f Mary, t h e i d e a l o f my
      p r i e s t h o o d , u r g e me i r r e s t i s t a b l y t o l i v e
      c h a s t i t y with more e f f o r t a n d e n e r g y ?
                                                                                   n
1.          W h a t ' d o e s t h e vow o f d b e d l e n c e m e a z t o -
     m e : t h e r e n u t l c i a t i o n , f o r a l l ti.rnc, o f my
     w i l l - , t h e m o s t n o b l e p a r t o f n:y b c i n g , p l z -
                                                                           e
     i n g i t ic t h e har,ds .of G o d , o r , o n t h e                  -
     5.the.r h a n d , a t o n s t a n t a n n o y a n c e ar:d wc::.-ry?
2.         Do        I s u b s c r j . D e t o t h e b e l i e f : h a t c..!>-
     e d i e n c s d e s t r o y s personality, o r b , o n ~ h :
     c o n t r a r y , d o I s e e i n i t the o n l y w ~ y > 1        ~       -
     d e v e l o p i n g my p e r s o n a l i t y a s a O h t 7 i s r i c i ~   -
     a n d a s a Legionary?
3.         Am I c o n s o l e d by t h e t h o u g h t t h . z t t h - o t
     o b e d i e n c e I a m a b . l e .to l i v e , co~:scioi.isl:,:        -
     a n d f u l l y , t h e r e 3 l . i . t ~ o f my t o t s 1 d e p e a 0 -
     e n c e o n God? Do I t h a n k H i i n f o r i r ?
4.         D o e s J e s u s C h r i s t , who wets t o t a l l y c o n m    -
     i r t e d t o t h e w i l l o f His F z t h c r , i n s p l r c :       -
     my o b e d i e n c e 3
5.        Do I a g r e e w i t h t h ; s ~ p e r i a r > c ~ i t e r i a
                                                               ~s
     e a s i l y , i n ; s u p e r n a t u r a l way, OF i s t h c ~ e
                         i
     c o n s t a n t d i s c o r d ? I s i t v e r y n a r k e d ? Hz.ve
     I done a l l i n m power t o -atrc;in t h a t un-
                                 y
     ity o f c r i t e r i a d e m a n d e d o f me b y L e g i o n -
      ary obedience?
6.       Does renunciation of my own judgement
      seem impossible to me? Have I some opin
      ions which I consider infallible? Do I -.
                                                 --      ,



      thcrefoer live a continuous martyrdom be       -
      cause of the 'incompetenceTof the person
      over me? A m I one of those who are always
                                                     -
      offended by the superior's attitude, what-
      ever it may be?
7.     When the superior gives me an order,do
   I usually think whether or not it pleases
   me, if it hurts me or not, if it seems
   f3i.r to me or not, or if I am bound to
                                                 -
                                                 -
   obey just as he wants me to?
8.     Do I yet rejoice at seeing myself treat   --
   e d somewhat harshly by the superior, , b e -
   cause I can offer God a real and costly       -
   living of my vow? Am I also pleased when I
   am ignored, or when I find the superior's
   orders repugnant?
9.       Or, on the contrary, do I keep a sullen
      silence in the superior's presence? Do 1
      try to evade him by always standing to one
      side or behind him? Do I mask my feelings
      by complete seriousness, by empty laughter
      or by terse, cold answers? Do I ask for    -
      the least possible number of permissions,
      and always when the superior is most dis-
      tracted? If I can, do I send someone else
      to ask on my behalf?
10.      Do I ask permissions in an ambiguous    -
                                             -
      way so that t h e superior will agree to
      them without exactly realising what they
               e n t a i 1 , t h u s e n a b l i n g m e t o i n t e r p r e t them
               l o o s e l y a f t e r w a r d s and w i t h o u t t r o u b l e ?
        11.      A r e a l l my d e a l i n g s with t h e s u p e r i o r
           v e r y s u p e r f i c i a l , l a c k i n g f u l l u n d e l - s t a n-
                                                                                    d
           i n g and f i l i a l confidence?
        12.       Do I c l e v e r l y t w i s t o b e d i e n c e t o s u i t
            m y s e l f , f i x i n g t h i n g s i n s u c h a way t h a t             '

            t h e s u p e r i o r has t o t e l l me           t o d o wha.t
            p l e a s e s me m o s t ?
e       13.       Have I f o r c e d h i m t o s t o p . g i v i n g m e
            a n y o r d e r s b e c a u s e o f my o p e n d i s r e s p e c t ,
            my p r o t e s t s ,     long'faces o r dishonesty i n
,   B   14.
            f u l f i l l i n g h i s commands?
                    Do I o b e y b e c a u s e      I have no o t h e r
              c h o i c e , o r has t h e r e a l i s a t i o n t h a t      d
                                                                        o b e-
    J         i e n c e wzthout meaning i s               a miserable -
              w a s t e of t i m e e v e r dawned on m e ? I f n o t , a m
              I t r y i n g t o l i v e a s a p a r a s i t e i n t h e L e- g
    1
    -
        15.
              ion with purely s e l f i s h motives ?
                     Have I r e a l i s e d t h a t t h o s e o f s t r o n g
              c h a r a c t e r who a r g u e w i t h t h e i r   superior
              a r e v i c t i m s o f t h e i r own w h i m s ? A m I c o n -
              v i n c e d t h a t total s u r r e n d e r t o my s u p e r -
              i o r ' s w i l l i s my o n l y way t o b e a         true
    I   16.
              r e l i g i o u s i n t h e e y e s o f God?
                    Do I r e a l i s e t h a t a n y a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s
              t h e s u p e r i o r which i s n o t f i l i a l and con-
    1         f i d e n t w i l l p e r m a n t e n t l y s e p a r a t e m e from
              G o d , a n d t h a t God c o n s i d e r s a n y d i s r e s p e c t
              o r lack o f r e s p e c t t o w a r d s t h e s u p e r i o r -
    I
    4
              a s a n o f f e n c e a g a i n s t H i s own p e r s o n ?
        17.        I n o r d e r t o make m e a h a p p y r e l i g i o u s ,
      would t h e s u p e r i o r f i r s t h a v e t o s t u d y my
      l i k e s a n d whims?     Do I c o n s i d e r m y s e l f
      deserving of t h i s ?
18.      Am I o n e o f t h o s e who o b e y o n l y when
      treated kindly,          who l o s e t h e i r v o c a t i o n
      when t h e y a r e t r e a t e d u n f a i r l y , a s they              .
      see i t ?
19.        Do I o n l y o b e y God i n my s u p e r i o r , o r
      d o I o b e y a f r i e n d , a k i n d i n t e l l i g e n t man
      who c a n e i t h e r p l e a s e me o r a n n o y me?When
      I o b e y , i s t h e r e s t i l l some d o u b t         i n my
      mind a s t o w h e t h e r I am f u l f i l l i n g t h e
      w i l l o f God o r n o t ?
20.         Does o b e d i e n c e g i v e s t a b l e a n d h a p p y
      s e c u r i t y t o my l i f e , b e c a u s e I a c t a c c o r    -
      d i n g t o t h e p r o v i d e n c e o f God?
21.         D o I know how t o u s e              obedience t o -
      p a i s e a l l my a c t i o n s t o t h e h i g h p l a n e o f
      f u l f i l l m e n t o f G o d ' s w i l l ? Does t h i s c o n -
      c e p t k e e p m e u n c o n c e r n e d a b o u t e v e n my      -
      most a d m i r a b l e p l a n s u n t i l t h e y a r e con-
      f i r m e d by t h e stamp o f o b e d i e n c e ? C a n I a 1
      s o k e e p t h i s u n c a r i n g a t t i t u d e when t h e -
      p l a n s 1'hold d e a r e s t a r e n o t approved ?
22.         Do I o v e r c o m e my t e n d e n c y t o w a r d s com
      f o r t and egoism t o t h e e x t e n t o f a n t i c i p z
      a t i n g t h e commands of t h e s u p e r i o r when-
      ever possible?
23,         Do I a u t o m a r i c a l l y t r y t o j u s t i f y ,my-
      s e l f by r e p l y i n g t o . t h e s u p e r i o r ' s o r d e r s
      w i t h c l a r i f i c a t i o n s a n d o b j e c t i o n s ? If I
      h a v e t o clarify a n y t h i n g ,           a r e my r e a s o n s
         c l e a r , b r i e f , c h a r i t a b l e , r e s p e c t f u l and
         w e l l t h o u g h t - o u t ? DG I a l w a y s f i n d e x c u s e s
         f o r n o t d o i n g w h a t t h e s u p e r i o r o r d e r s ? Do
         t h e r e excuses actu.ally a r i s e , o r d o I have
         t o i n v e n t them?
24.            When o b e y i n g m e a n s s o m e t h i n g I f i n d      -
         h a r d , d o I make u p f o r t h i s b. d o i n g
                                                        :               it       -
 -       a n y way I l i k e ?
     .o b e Dioeens c ea n ay tt h ti h g
            d
                                  s e e m morn i m p o r t a n t t h a n
                                      n
                                  moment when I m u s t s t o p -
                                        e
      d o i n g o n e t h i n g a n d s t a r t a n o t h e r , sr d o I
      c a r r y O U L t h e norm o f l e a v i n g e v e n t h e l e t         -
      t e r I have begun w r i t i n g , a s a r e v e a l i n g               -
      s i g n of ay r e s p e c t f o r t h e w i l l o f God? Do
      I o n l y o b e y t h e b e l l when I f i n d t h e p r o -
      gramme b o r i n g , o r d o I a l s o o b e y w l ~ o r l I -
      l i k e i t , a n d when s e l f - l o v e comes i n t o         -
      play?
     .      Do I u s u a l l y s e e m d u t y a s t h e m o s t -
                                           y
      p e r f e c t i n d i c a t i o n o f G o d ' s w i l l f o r ne?Do
      I accomplish it with a c a n s t a n t a t t i t u d e
      o f l o v e a n d s u r r e n d e r , or d o I o b e y i n a
      r o u t i n e w a y , w i t h o u t a n y t h o u g h t o f God,
      m o t i v a t e d by r e a s o n s s u c h a s human r e s p e c t
      or desire for attention?
27.      Do I d o e v e r y t h i n g i n t h e s p i r i t a i my
      pules, w h i c h I r e s p e c t and l o v e a s t h e               -
      most d i r e c t and permanent e x p r e s s i o n of
      t h e Divine w i l l ?
28.       Havs I g o t t h e h a b i t ' y c t o f s c ~ i n g     God
      i n my d u t y a n d i n t h e m o s t i n s i g n i f i c a n t
      and t r i v i a l e v e n t s i n life?


                                        -   65   -
29.      Do I express all my love for the Legion     -*!

      in perfect fulfillment of obedience, con-
      scious that obedience is her armour, her
      inner strength and her most abundant  --        -;I
      pledge of divine blessings?
                                                     ,I
30.      Do I realise that complete submission
      to the superiors in all matters is the -
      first step towards understanding the
                                     -      --
      spirit of the Legion fully?
31.      Is my life characterised by complete    -
      submission and docility, following the -
                                              -
      example of Christ's surrender to His Fath
      er's will, or does this service of God -
      still exist only in terms of affection   -
      and sentiment, with no application to my
      daily life?
                                          18. THE FIRST' PRIVATE          VOW




                 Have I g i v e n my p r i v a t e vows d u e i n p o r t
            anoe s i n c e          t h e day o f my p ~ o f e ~ s i o n 7 H a v e
            f t h o u g h t o f them o n l y a l i t t l e , o r h a v e I
            c o m p l e t e l y f o r g o t t e n them?
       2.         Have I t ~ i e d t p go- d e e p i n t o t h e i r
                                          -                                --
            s p i r i - t b y p u t t i n g them i n t ~ - ~ r a c t i s e ?
       3.       Do I i n t e r p r e t t h e f i r s t p r i v a t e vow a s
            i t s u i t s me? O r h a v e I t r i e d t o g i v e i t -
            its f u l l supernatural value?
                  D o I t h i n k t h a t t h i s vow i s j u s t a s i n ) -
            p l e p r o m i s e made h a s t i l y i n t h e s e c r e c y o f
            t h e s a c r i s t y , o r , on t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I
            r e a l l y understand t h e s i g n i f i c a n c e of such
            a s t e p i n t h e development of t h e Legion?
                 Have I a t a n y t i m e c r i t i c i s e d t h e way
            i n w h i c h L e g i o n a r y s u p e r i o r s g o v e r n ? Why-
              - because of l e v i t y , lack o f supernatural
            s p i r i t , l a c k o f f a i t h i n t h e Legion ; be-
            cause of a d e s i r e t o c r i t i c i s e everything,
            o r b e c a u s e of s e l f - s u f f i c i e n c y ?
1,     6       Have I a t t a i n e d c o m p l e t e s e l f - d o n i n i o n
            on t h i s p o i n t , t o t h e d e g r e e o f p r a c t i s i n g

 .&.                    ,             -   67   -
      complete d e l i c a c y of conscience?
7.          Do I u s u a l l y q u e s t i o n t h e s u p e r i o r ' s      -
      o r d e r s ? Do T d e n y m y s e l f a n y f r e e d o n on
      t h i s p o i n t , b o t h i n t e r n a l l y and e x t e r n a l l y ?
8.          Do I n o t i c e s e c r e t l e a n i n g s t o w a r d s corn-
      f o r t i n my l i f e , w h i c h a r e n o m o r e t h a n        -
      s i g n s of i n t e r n a l c o n f l i c t ? j u s t u n d e r   --
      t h e s u r f a c e , have I h i d d e n c r i t i c i s m s o f
      t h e government of t h e Legion which I                          --
      s c r e e n b e h i n d h a l f - t r u t h s and ambiguous             -
      p h r a s e s ? Does t h i s r e s e n t m e n t t a k e t h e - '
      form o f c o n s t a n t q u e s t i o n i n g a n d b e l i t t -
      l i n g of everything t h e s u p e r i o r does? .
9.         Have 1 e v e r s l i p p e d u p i n t h i s a l l - i n
      p o r t a n t aspect,?
10.         Have I , a t a n y t i n e , s e e n s o m e p a r t i c -
      u l a r command o f t h e s u p e r i o r o r norm            of
      t h e I n s t i t u t e a s a m e r e whim o f a u t h o r i t y ?
      Under t h e p r e t e n c e o f d o i n g g o o d , d o I - .
      c o r r u p t t h e c o n s c i e n c e s o f o t h e r s by c r i t    -
      icising      -    a l w a y s i n a s u b t l e way      -  any
      p o s i t i v e step t a k e n by t h e superior?
11.         Do I o f t e n e x a m i n e m y s e l f o n m p o s s -
                                                          y
      i b l e f a u l t s a g a i n s t t h i s vow? Do I t e l l             -
      them i n c o n f e s s i o n ?
12,        Why h a v e I not b e e n f a i t h f u l t o this                 -
      vow    -    t h r o u g h w e a k n e s s o f c h ? r a c t e r , hy-
      p o c r i s y , o r u n c o n t r o l l e d p a s s i o n due t o
      wounded s e l f - l o v e ?
13.         Have I l e a r n e d how t o c o n t r o l m y s e l f            -
      a f t e r a n y s t r o n g t r i a l w h i c h my L e g i o n a r y
      v o c a t i o n e n t a i l s ? Have I s e e n i t a s a           -
                                                                         -
      w i s e p r e p a r a t i o n f o r my s p i r i t u a l w e l l - b e
      i n g a n d advancement on t h e apostolc:te,                        or
      a s s o m e t h i n g i n s i g n i f i c a n t , a mere whim o f
      the superior?
14.         Whenever I s e e a r e a l f a u l t a g a i n s t t h e
      vow, d o I i m m e d i a t e l y t e l l t h e s u p e r i o r , o r
      so as t o avoid complications, do I r e f r a i n
      f r o m d o i n g t h i s ? Have I e v e r t a k e n p a r t i n
      t h i s grumbling and c r i t i c i s m a g a i n s t s u p e r
      iors?                                                                -
15.         Have I a n i n t e r n a l a t t i t u d e    o f c o n s t a n-
                                                                           t
      l y r e n e w i n g t h i s vow a s a m e r e       formula, o r
      am I r e a d y t o d s n y m y s e l f , m a k i n g t h i s vow
      t h e f u n d a m e n t a l a n d t r u e b a s i s o f ay L e g -
      i o n a r y s p i r i t and f o r m a t i o n ?
16.        Have I t h e r e f o r e f i r m . l y r e s o l v e d n e v e r
      t o d e f a m ? my s u p e r i o r s ? Does t h i s a p p l y -
      e s p e c i a l l y t o my s u p e r i o r s i n t h e L e g i o n ?
      A m I s p e c i a l l y c a r c f u l a b o u t t h i s when       -
      outsiders are present?
17.        Do I p ~ o r n i s o t o b e f a i t h f u l t o my vow            -
      u n t i l d e a t h , n o matter what h a p p e n s , a 1          -
      ways f o r C h r i s t a n d f o r t h e s e c u r i t y       and
      p r o g r e s s of t h e Legion?
                                  19. T H E SECOND PRIVATl?
                                                        '
                                                                     VOW




    1.      Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h e great i m p o r t a n c e o f
         my s e c o n d P r i v a t e V o w , o r was i t a l s o j u s t
         a Lifaloss f o r m u l a r e n d in t h s a c r i s t y
         after the profession?
                                                        ~               -
i   2.         Da I t h a n k God s i n c e r e l y f o r t h i s vow,
         w h i c h h a s s a v e d m e f r o m s o much w o r r y a n d
         u n p l e a s a n t n e s s i n my r e l i g i o u s l i f e ?
    3.         What p r e v e n t s me f r o m b r e a k i n g t h i s vow
         -   l o v e f o r Jesus C h r i s t o r f o r t h e Legion,
         o r the f e a r of i n c u r r i n g a c e n s u r e which
         c o u l d p r e v e n t me f r o m a c c e p t i n g some r e s -
         p o n s i b i l i t y a t a f u t u r e d a t e ? O r , on t h c
         o t h e r hand, do I f u l l y r e a l i s e i t s v a l u e       -
         t o the        Legion?
    4.   . Why d o I n o t k i l l , o n c e a n d f o r a l 1 , t h e
         d e s i ~ ? e o g e t some p o s i t i o n i n t h e L e g i o n ,
                      t
         a s demandzd by t h e v e r y c o m p l e t e f o r m u l a
                                        ......
         "I p r t o m i s e n e v e r t o         II


    5.       Up t o now, h a v e I c o v e t e d a n y p o s i t i o n
         i n t h e g o v e r n m e n t o f t h e L e g i o n ? Does t h i s
         ambition c r o p up o n l y o c c a s i c n a l l y , o r i s
         i t part o f my way o f b e i n g ? H a v e I c u l t i v -
         ated t h i s tendency t o obtain positions i n
                          any p a r t i c u l a r a s p e c t o r w i t h any degree              -
                          of c o n s t a n c y ? Am I a l w a y s t h i n k i n g of show
                          i n g o f f t h o f a c t t h a t I have l e a d e r s h i p -
                                                                                                  -
I--                       c a p a b i l i t i e s , a n d t h a t I c o u l d d o it b e t t -

'-1
I
                          e r t h a n t h e s u p e r i o r s ? Have I g i v e n way t o
                          these thoughts?
                                Do I f p e q u e n t l y t h i n k o f my t a l e n t f o r
                          o r d e r i n g a n d g o v e r n i n g o t h e r s ? Do I e n j o y
                          s e e i n g t h a t I c o u n t f o r s o m e t h i n g among       -
                          t h e c o m m u n i t y ? Do I f i n d m y s e l f o r d e r i n g      -
                          my f e l l o w B r o t h e r s w i t h a n a i r o f a u t h o r i t y
                          When t h e s u p e r i o r i s n o t p r e s e c t i n a
                          g r o u p , d o I n a t u r a l l y a s s u m e t h e command-
                                                                                         -    -
                          ing position?
            -7.                 H a v e I t o l d my s u p e r i o r y e t o f t h e s e      -
                                                                                              -
                          p e r s i s t e n t a t t i t u d e s which c a u s e m e t o

    Ll
    ,..
    I . .
            i1



              -
               8;
                  3   '
                          f a u l t a g a i n s t my V o w i n t e r n a l l y ?
                                Do I m a k e a n y e f f o r t t o u n d e r s t a n d a ~ i d
                          carry out the principle of being a private

            - .
               ..         s o l d i e r ' o f the Legion and a l e a d e r o f
                          souls?
                                                                                             --
              9.       H a v e i s h o w n my d e s i r e o f b e i n g s u p e r -
              -
            :,.I:
                  i o r o f s u c h and such a community t o m y f e l
                  low B r o t h e r s , even i f o n l y jokingly?
                                                                                              -
              .
            ... . .
               10.               D o I r e a l i s e how d a n g e r o u s t h i s f r u s t -
                          r a t e d a m b i t i o n f o r p o s i t i o n and r e s p e c t is
                          f o r t h e Legion?
              11.      Do I e x a m i n e my f a u l t s a g a i n s t t h i s               -
      3          p o i n t ? Do I c o n f e s s t h e m a s f o r m a l f a u l t s
                 against an already-existing                  vow?
       --
              12.               Have I d e s i r e d a n y p o s i t i o n f o r a n y     --
                          b r o t h e r , without r e a l i s i n g t h a t t h i s is a
           deformation of t h e Legionary sgpirit?
     13.          Do I t r y t o e x c e l i n my s t u d i e s s o a s
           t o be v a l u e d by t h e s u p e r i o r s , and t h u s         -
           w i n n i n g some d i g n i t y ? hn I l o n g i n g t o o b -
           t z i n some p o s t i n t h e L e g i o n u n d e r t h e -
           p r e t e n c e of promoting t h e well-being                of
           o t h e r s ? Have I e v e n t r i e d t o p r o g r e s s i n
           the spiritual field i n order t o gain the .
           e s t e e m o f t h e s u p e r i o r s a n d o b t a i n some      -
           position?
     14.        A r e my f e e l i n g s o n t h i s p o i n t a l w a y s     -
           t h e s a m e ? Have I t o l d t h e s u p e r i o r s a b o u t
           them y e t ? If n o t , w h a t p r e t e n s i o n s    have
           I t o t h a t apparent blamelessness sought                         -
           i n t h o s e e x t e r n a l , ready-made f o r m u l a s ?

I    15.         H a s human r e s p e c t f o r c e d me t o c o n c e a l
           a n o t h e r b r o t h e r ' s e v i d e n t and r e a l f a u l t
           i n t h i s matter, f o r t h e simple reason                    -.
           t h a t I d i d n o t want t o go t o t h e t r o u b l e
           of informing t h e s u p e r i o r s , something -
           w h i c h I p r o m i s e d t o d o i n t h e vow i t s e l f ?
     16.         Have I e v e r t o l d t h e s u p e r i o r t h a t I        -
           h a d n o t i c e d a t t i t u d e s w h i c h I t h o u g h t were
           s e r i o u s a n d grave f a u l t s a g a i n s t t h i s vow
           p u r e l y from motives o f envy o r g o s s i p ,             -
           without t h i n k i n g of t h e consequences?




i,
                                          20. CONFIDENCE      IN SUPERIORS



       1.                                  -
                  Do I c o n f i d e i n my s u - e r i o r s ? A m I s u r e
                                                p
            t h e y know m e d e e p l y ?
       2.         H h a t a r e my m o t i v e s f o r t h i s c o n f i d e n c e
L.-I
            -   f a i t h , t h e f a c t t h a t it i s n e c e s s a r y i n
            o r d e r t o know God's w i l l , or, o n t h e c o n -

1      3.
            t r a r y , m e r e s e n t i m e n t 0.r human a f f e c t i o n ?
                 How d o I o p e n u p m c o n s c i c n c c t o my -
                                              y

n
n
            s u p e r i o r s - do I do i t f u l l y , t r u s t f u l l . y ,
            constantly, with a supernatural s p i r i t ,
            o r p a r t i a l l y , w i t h a twisted a n d c a l c u l a t
            ing attitude?
                                                                              -
,-I              Do I s p e a k t o my s u p e r i o r s f r a n k l y ,     --
       4.
            simply and c l e a r l y , o r a m I complicate6                  -
sn          a n d fo r m u l i s t i c ?
I      5.        Do I l i m i t my c o n f i d e n c e a c c o r d i n g t o
            t h e d e m a n d s o f my s e l f - l o v e , t o my own i n
            terests, t o my s e n s u a l i t y o r v a n i t y ? O r ,
                                                                              -
I           on t h e o t h e r h a n d a c c o r d i n g t o t h e d e m a n d s
            o f my love f o r C h r i s t , f o r t h e L e g i o n a n d
            f o r my v o c a t i o n ?
r"l
-J     6.      Do I g o t o my s u p e r i o r s w i t h t h e f i r m
            belief t h a t t h e y c a n h e l p me? D o I g o ---

                                      -   73   -
      w i t h h u m i l i t y , w i t h f i l i a l confidence, sir          -
      p l i c i t y , o r o n l y f o r t h e sake o f g o i n g ?
8.        D o e s i t c o s t m e a l o t t o g o t o my s u p -
    e r i o r s ? k!hy - b e c a u s e o f s e l f - l o v e a n d - .
    v a n i t y ? B e c a u s e o f f e a r t h a t t h e y may g e t
         .kn                               la
:.,:...;too \ * .me.,?.i:.R&~2itse??.of z i n e s s , s e n s u a l -
    i t y , rationalism? O r t h e b e l i e f t h a t I can
   , m a n a g e o n my own? Do I a c t a c c o r d i n g l y ?
9.           Am I c o n v i n c e d of t h e n e e d f o r t h i s      --
       c o n f i d e n c e w i t h superiors i n my r e l i g i o u s
       l i f e ? Do I g.i.ve i t a p r i m a r y r o l e n o t o n l y
       i n s a n c t i f y i n g m y s e l f , b u t a l s o f o r sav--
       i n g my s o u l ? Do I c o n s i d e r i t t h e g u a r e n -
       t e e o f my v o c a t i o n , a n d a s o n e o f t h e         --
       s u r e s t s i g n s o f my l o v e f o r t h e L e g i o n ?
10.        !%That i s my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s t h e a d v i c e s
      I r e c e i v e ? Do I t r y t o w e i g h t h e i r m e r i t s ?
      Do I makc s u r e t o c a r r y t h e m o u t ? Do I              --
      o n l y c a r r y t h e m o u t p a r t i a l - l y ? Do I f o l l -
      ow t h e m s i m p l y a n d t r u s t f u l l y ?
11.      A m I t h a n k f u l f o r t h i s a d v i c e ? Do I p u t
      it i n t o p r a c t i s e ?
12.         D o I l e t much t i m e g o b y w i t h o u t m a k i n g
      c o n t a c t w i t h my s u p e r i o r ? When I c a n n o t do
      t h i s by word, do I t r y t o k e e p up w r i t t e n
      c o m m u n i c a t i o n w i t h h i m ? Do I r e d u c e t h i s  -
      c o n t a c t t~ a m e r e f o r m a l n e c e s s i t y , w i t h - -
      out saying anything about t h e a c t u a l state
      o f my s o u l ?
         What does the Sacrament of Penance mean
      to me? Is it a troublesome obligation, an-
      other disciplinary norm, a way to silence
      my conscience for a moment, or on the con
      trary, a magnificent opportunity for drawz
      ing closer to Cod, of being reconciled        -
      with Him, and receiving an increase of            -
      sanctifying grace?
'2   . fession? comply with
          Do I                the rule of weekly con    -
         How do I actually make my confession,-
      with faith and supernatural spirit, with
      sincere repentence, or with routine and           -
      in a mechanical way?
         Does confession help me t o enliven and
      promote my compunction of heart?
         Is my examination before confession a
      superficial glance at the faults of the       -
      past week? Do I look for the cause of my
      faults? Do I examine the previous confess-
      ion to see if my r e p e n t e n c e and proposal
      of amendment were sincere?
      Have I a l i v e l y a n d s u p e r n a t u r a l s o r r -
ow f o r my s i n s ? I s i t s i n c e r e ? I s i t 'a
t r u e o z f e r i n g o f my w i l l t o God? O r d o I
r e n e w it j u s t f o r a moment, t o make t h e                -
S a c r a m e n t v a l i d , t h e r e b y r e d u c i n g it t o 2
mere s u p e r $ i c i a l a c t ?
      Does t h i s s o r r o w a f f e c t my a t t i t u d e o f
s i n c e r e c o n t r i t i o n and h u m i l i t y w h i l e con-
f e s s i n g my s i n s ? Does it i n f l u e n c e my u s -
u a l s p i r i t o f p e n a n c e ? What a r e t h e r e a -    s
ons f o r m sorrow
                 y            --    shame and d e s p a i r       -
        y
a t m own p e r s o n a l a b a s e m e n t , o r t h e p a i n
t h a t it gives 'me'to s e e t h a t I have been
u n f a i t h f u l t o God, n o t r e s p o n d i n g t o t h e
p a r d o n s o g e n e r o s l y o f f e r e d i n my l a s t    -
confession?
      Are my p r o p o s a l s o f amendment n o t h i n g
m o r e t h a n w h a t i s r e q u i r e d t o make t h e c o n
f e s s i o n v a l i d ? Is t h i s j u s t a measure o f -
r e l i e f , d e m a n d i n g n o t h i n g f r o m m i n my
                                                          e       -
d a i l y l i f e ? Do I r e a l i s e t h a t t h i s a t t i -
t u d e c a n make a l l my c o n f e s s i o n s u s e l e s s ?
Therefore, have I ever worried about t h e
v a l u e o f my p r o p o s a i s o f a m e n d m e n t ? When
I h a v e Some d o u b t s , how d o I r e a s s u r e my-
self    -     do I s h r u g m s h o u l d e r s , e v e n i n
                                 y                                -
d e l i c a t e m a t t e r s ( c h a s t i t y , p r i v a t e vows
e t c . ) , o r do I examine myself i n d e p t h ?
Do I l o o k f o r a d v i c e o n t h e m a t t e r ?
      Have I c o n s i d e r e d t h e f a c t t h a t God,
w i t h a l l H i s g r a c e ; i s on;y a b l e t o s a n -
c + i f y m e a c c o r d i n g ' t o t h e s i n c e r i t y o f my
resolutions?
    10.         After c o n f e s s i o n , dc 1 o f t e n remexbcl>
          t h e p r o p o s a l s o f ainendmcnt m a d e d a i > i.-e i t ?
                                                                  l-
          P C I n a k e rhtam t h e c c n t r e o f my p e r s o n c l
          e f f o r t s d u r i z g t h e week, s o a s t o a c t i v a t e
          t h e m w i t h a new m o t i v e f o r m a k i n g r e p a r -
          ation?
    11.        W h i l e c o n f e s s i n g my s i n s , d o 1 , a s a    -
          r u l e , r e m e m b e r t h a t I am m a k i n g my c o n f e s-
                                                                           s
          i o n t o God,?
    12.                           y
              Do I c o n f e s s m f a u l t s c l e a r l y ? Haqe.
          I e v e r hidden t h e n b e h i n d ambiguous p h r a s
          2s? Have I e v e r c o n c e a l e d a g r a v e s i n ?
                                                                            -
    13.         A m I a n x i o u s a n d s c r u p u l o u s when c o z -
          f e s s i n g my s i n s ? Do I c a u s e m y s e l f u n d u e
          worry by a d d i n g i n u n z e c e s s a r y d e t a i l s ?
          Why?    --        t o convince t h e confessor t h a t I
          have d e l i c a c y o f c o n s c i e n c e , becacse o f -
.         s c r u p l c s and l a c k of m a t u r i t y i n t h i s a s -
          p e c t , b e c a u s e o f l a c k of p r e c i s i . c n i n p r e
          paring the confession?                   Is i t b e c a u s e of-
          n e r v o u s n e s s o r t h r o u g h negligence?
14.          Do I c o n f e s s t h e s a m e s i n s e v e r y w e e k ?
          Do I t r y t o f i n d o u t t h e r e a s o n f o r t h i s ?
15.          Do I a l w a y s t r y t o g o t o t h e s a m e c o n -
          fessor?
16.            D o I l o o k f o r a c o n f e s s o r who h e l p s m e
          a l o t i n m y Legionary formation, o r d o I
          g o t o o n e who d e m a n d s v e r y l i t t l e f r o m m e ,
          o n e w h o d o e s n o t b o t h e r m e t o o much?
17.            Have I c h o s e n my s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t o r a s
          my c o n f e s s o r i n o r d e r t o r e c e i v e m o r e i n -
          t e g r a l a n d e f f e c t i v e g u i d a n c e i n a l l my -
      e f f o r t s towards h o l i n e s s ?
18.         Have I e v e r n o t i c e d a t e n d e n c y t o h i d e
        y
      m p e r s o n a l l i f e f r o m t h e c o n f e s s o r ? Why?
      - - B e c a u s e I am a f r a i d o f h i m ?   Does'this           -
      make m e l o s e s i g h t o f t h e m o s t m e r c i f u l         -
      presence of Jesus Christ?
19.        What s p i r i t d o I p u t i n t o t h e f u l f i l l -
      ment o f t h e p e n a n c e       I h a v e r e c e i v e d ? Do    -
      I rush t h r o u g h i t , o r do I u n i t e i t w i t h            -
      t h e s u f f e r i n g s o f C h r i s t , o f f e r e d f o r my   -
      sins?
20.       Do I t r y t o r e p r o d u c e t h e same s e n t i -
      ments of s o r r o w and repugnance f o r s i n , a n d
      o f g r a t i t u d e t o God f o r f o r g i v i n g me?
22.      Does t h i s s i n c e r e s o r r o w p r o m p t me t o
      make r e p a r a t i o n t h r o u g h s a c r i f i c e ? When I
      have t o s u f f e r something, does it o c c u r t o
      me t c o f f e r i t u p b e c a u s e I h a v e o f f e n d e d
      God i n t h e f i r s t p l a c e ? Do I w e l c o m e i t a s
      a voluntary a d d i t i o n t o t h e penance r e c e i ~
      ed i n confession?
                                                                           -
22.       Do I h e e d t 3 e a d v i c e o f t h e c o n f e s s b r ?
      Do I w i l l i n g l y t r y t o p u t i t i n t o p r a c t i s e
      o r do I t a k e it c a s u a l l y , a s s o m e t h i n g I
      have t o l i s t e n t o b e f o r e being absolved?
23.         What a r e my f e e l i n g s on b e i n g a b s o l v e d ?
      Do I f e e l n o t h i n g a t a l l ? Do I e x e r c i s e my
      f a i t h i n o r d e r t o understand t h a t t h e blood
                                                                               1'
                                                                               L..

      o f C h r i s t h a s o n c e a g a i n f l o o d e d my s o u l ,
      t o purify its guilt?
24.         T h e r e f o r e do I s e e c o n f e s s i o n a s a - -
      g r a c e g i v e n t o me b y C h r i s t b y t h e s h e d d -
      i n g of h i s b l o o d ?
25-         Is t h e Sacrament o f P e n a n c e o n e o f m y
      m a i n sources of s a n c t i f y i n g g r a c e ?
                                                                              1
                                    22. SPIRITUAL DIRECTION
                                                                              4



1.         What d o e s s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n mean t o
     me? I s i t a d i s c i p l i n a r y norm l i k e a l l         -
     t h e r e s t , an annoying and unavoidable                      ob
     l i g a t i o n , o r on t h e o t h e r h a n d , i s i t an-
     e s s e n t i a l h e l p i n my own f o r m a t i o n ? Do I
     think that s p i r i t u a l direction is a thing
     for b e g i n n e r s w h i c h may b e d i s p e n s e d w i t h
     a f t e r w a r d s , a s I p r o g r e s s i n my f o r m a t i o n 3
2.         What i s my u s u a l r e a c t i o n o n f i n i s h i n g
     spiritual direction              --        satisfaction a t -
     t h e f a c t t h a t someone e l s e i n t h e w o r l d            -
     knows me down t o t h e l a s t d e t a i l ; s u p e r -
     n a t u r a l p e a c e , a f i r m r e s o l u t i o n t o work?
     O r , o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , am I d e p r e s s e d , -
     d i s c o u r a g e d , i n d i f f e r e n t , o r d o I immed-.
     i a t e l y forget the advices i n order t o re-
     t u r n t o my l i f e o f r o u t i n e ? Go I b r e a t h a
     s i g h of r e l i e f b e c a u s e t h e "ordeal1' .is             -
     over?
3.         Do I go r e g u l a r l y t o s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t -
     i o n ? Do I go ever!/- f i f t e e n ' d a y s ? E v e n       if
     n o - o n e t o l d me t o , . w o u l d I b e a b l e t o f o l
     low God's w i l l a n d t h e demands o f t h e                  -
     R u l e on t h i s p o i n t ?
1            4.         Do I e a s i l y a c c e p t r c a s o n s f o r p o s t n o n -
                   i n g o p e n i n g my c o n s c i e n c e t o t h e s u p e r i o r ?
                   A r e t h e y j u s t e x c u s e s ? Which o n e i s t h e -
1                  most c o ~ r n c n ?
     I
             5.          Do I o p e n l y a v o i d g o i n g t c s p i r i t u a l      -
                   d i r e c t i o n ? Do I s h u n i t a s a n i n t o l e r a b l e
3                  h u m i l i a t i o n , o r do I b e l i e v e t h a t it i s         -'


                   p r e c i s e l y b e c a u s e of t h i s h u m i l i a t i o n t h a t
                   I o b t a i n m o r e g r a c e f r o m God?

I                     Do I b e l i e v e t h a t a n y c o n t a c t o f a
             6. s p i r i t u a l n a t u r e w h i c h I h a v e w i t h t h e
                                                                                       -
                                                                                      s 4
                e r i o r r e p l a c e s s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n , and    -
A
<x
u
 :

             7.
                t h a t I c a n a c c o m p l i s h t h e R u l e i n t h i s way?
                         D o e s 1r:y s p i r i t o f f a i t h u r g c R e t o e n e r
                   g e t i c a . 1 1 ~ e s s e n a n y p r o b l e m s I have with-
                                      l
I            8
                   e m o t i o n s , temperament e'tc.?
                         If I f a i l t o g o t o s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n ,
                   do I p u t t h i s down t o t h e s u p e r i o r ' s c h a r -
d        -
                   a c t e r a n d way o f b e i n g , r a t h e r t h a n t o my
                   own n e g l i g e n c e ?
             9.          I n s p i r e i t u a l d i r e c t i o n , am I u s u a l l y  -
                   s a t i s f i e d with p u r e l y r a t i o n a l arguments?
                   Do I a g r e e w i t h w h a t i s s a i d t o me w i t h o u t
                   b e i n g c o n v i n c e d of i t , s o a s n o t t o c o n t r-    a
I            10.
                   diet t h e s u p e r i o r ?
                         D u r i n g s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n , when I r e m -
                   ember s o m e t h i n g which I f i n d h a r d t o t e l l
I                  t h e s u p e r i o r , do I l e a v e it o u t s o a s t o
                   t h i n k more a b o u t i t ? O r do I t e l l it               --
                                                                                              -
                   clearly?
1
 J           11.   Do I s h a r e t h e o p i n i o n t h a t I am s o i m -
                portant, or a t l e a s t s o complicated, t h a t
     1
        t h e r e i s no s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t o r i n t h e     --   '
                                                                                             I
        w o r l d who h a s e n o u g h e x p e r i e n c e ' t o g u i d e 7
        me? D o I s o l v e a l l my p r o b l e m s w i t h o u t o u +
        side advice?                                                         I
                                                                               -        '-   f
                                                                                             I
  12.         Do I d e r i v e t h e g r e a t e s t s a t i s f a c t i o n
        f r o m w o r r y i n g my s u p e r i o r s w i t h m y ' p r o   -
                                                                             -
                                                                                        -1
        b l e m s ' ? Do I t r y t o make m y s e l f i m p o r t a n t
        by d o i n g t h i s ?                                                          C    I
  13.         If I a m i n s i n c e r e , w h a t a r e t h e r e a s o n s
        f o r t h i s blindness of conscience                  -  f e a r of
        b e i n g w e l l - k n o w n b y my s u p e r i o r s , o r of
        changing t h e o p i n i o n t h e y a l r e a d y have o f
        me?
  14.         Have I e v e r f a i l e d t o t e l l my d e f e c t s          -'


        i n s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n ? Which o n e s    -those
        concerning p u r i t y , unlawful a f f e c t i o n s ,
        self-love, a t t i t u d e s towards t h e s u p e r i o r ;
                                                                          -             B
        t h o s e c o n c e r n i n g t h e p r i v a t e vows, wrong          -    .
        c r i t e r i a ; t h o s e t o d o w i t h k e e p i n g my own
        criteria?
                                                                           -
 15.


 16.
             A m I t e r r i f i e d a t t h e t h o u g h t of r e v e a l
        i n g a p a s t i n s i n c e r i t y ? Do I c a m o u f l a g e
        t h e t r u t h f o r t h i s reason?
              Why am I a f r a i d o f d i s c l o s i n g my o r d i n -
                                                                          -             n
        ary defects        -i n c a s e t h e s u p e r i o r s become
        t i r e d o f me, o r f o r m a b a d o p i n i o n o f me?
. 17.         Do I f i r m l y b e l i e v e t h a t t h e o n l y e f f e c
        t i v e a n d c e r t a i n way t o p r o g r e s s i s t o -
                                                                            -
        l i v e t o t a l l y u n i t e d t o my s u p e r i o r s i n a l l
        things?
 18.        Do human l i k e s o r d i s l i k e s e n t e r i n t o
        m d e a l i n g s with my s u p e r i o r s , i n a n y way?
         y

                                 -   82   -
      .      Do I c o n t i n u e t o h a v e d o u b t s a f t e r my
      s p i r i t u a l director has given me t h e solut
      ion t o a s p e c i f i c problem?Is t h i s because
      o f stubborness, s e n s u a l i t y and l a z i n e i g
      o r l a c k o f s e l f - d e n i a l ? On t h e o t h e r hand,
      d o I h a v e b l i n d c o n f i d e n c e i.n t h e s p i r i t -
      u a l d i r e c t o r ' s solutions?Do          I consider
      t h e m t h e m o s t a u t h e n t i c s i g n o f God's w i l l ?
      Has i t e v e r o c c u r e d t o m t o d i s c u s s t h e s e
                                              e
      s . o l u t i o n s w i t h someone e l s e ? D o I p u t o f f
      the applicatibn of the solutions already
      given?
20.         Do I t h i n k t h a t a l l I h a v e        to tell in
      s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n a r e my f a u l t s   and d e
      f e c t s ? Do I e v e r s p e a k o f iny t e m p t a t i o n s ;
      d o u b t s a n d w o r r i e s , o f my g o o d i n t e n t i o n s ,
      inspirations? _ .
                  .  -
                                          .    -


21.       Why d o I n o t t e l l t h e s u p e r i o r o f my
      progress       --  f o r f e a r of appearing vain,
      o r b e c a u s e he would n o t b e l i e v e m e ?
22.       Have I a l r e a d y f o r m e d t h e h a b i t o f
   s t u d y i n g and discovering t h e r o o t causes
    o f my f a u l t s a n d a f t e r w a r d s l e t t i n g t h e
    s u p e r i o r know a b o u t t h e n ? A m I a f r a i d t h a t
    he may n o t i c e t h a t I have l i t t l e o r no
    a p p r e c i a t i o n f o r t h e a d v i c e s w h i c h were
    given t o me i n t h e l a s t              spiritual ,direc         -
    tion?
23.         Do I l i v e a l i f e of t o t a l d e p e n d e n c e       -
              y
      on m s u p e r i o r , i n b o t h i n t e r n a l a n d    ex-
      t e r n a l m a t t e r s ? If n o t ,  what    are the
      r e a s o n s f o r h o l d i n g m e back?
          Do I c o n f i d e i n my s u p e r i o r s        with t h e
      c e r t a i n knowledge t h a t t h e y can and want
      t o h e l p me? Do I b l i n d l y b e l i e v e      i n what
      e v e r a d v i c e t h e y g i v e me, k n o w i n g t h a t it
      i s g i v e n f o r my own g o o d a n d p r o g r e s s ?       .
                                                                                       I
25.         Do I t h i n k t h a t t h e s u p e r i o r l i k e s e x
      a g g e r a t i n g when t e l l i n g my d e f e c t s ? Do I
      t a k e n o n o t i c e o f him?       Do I n o t * b e l i e v e .
      him?                                                                         >A




26.                                y
            What f o r m d o e s m c o n f i d e n c e w i t h him
      t a k e ? I s i t b a s e d on a f f e c t i o n s , o r r e a s o n ,
      o r on f a i t h ?
27.         I n t h i s c o n t e x t , i s my c o n f i d e n c e i n t h e
      superiors total,blind,constant; or,on t h e
      o t h e r hand, u n e n t h u s i a s t i c ,   half-hearted,
      sporadic?
28.        Can my s u p e r n a t u r a l s p i r i t b e m e a s u r e d
      by t h e c o n f i d e n c e I h a v e i n my s u p e r i o r s ?
      O r b y my s i n c e r i t y i n t h e s e r v i c e o f     --              ,-


      C h r i s t , my l o y a l t y t o t h e L e g i o n ?                   -   LJ

29.        Doesthe f a c t o f b e i n g a p r i v a t e s o l d i e r             --,
      i n f l u e n c e me e n o u g h t o b r i n g me t o s u r r e f !
      d e r m y s e l f f u l l y t o my s u p e r i o r s , and        -          1
                                                                                   .       -I
      t r u s t a b s o l u t e l y i n them?
                                                                                   r- 7
                                                        2 . SINCERITY
                                                         3




1.         H a v e I y e t b a s e d my s i n c e r i t y o n a       - -
     c l e a r i d e a o f t h e v i e w w h i c h God h a s o f my
     l i f e , o r have I e a s e d my c o n s c i e n c e b y        --
     l i e s a n d s o p h i s m s , s a t i s f y i n g my p e r s o n a l
     l i k e s w h i l e b e l i e v i n g t h a t I am a c t i n g a s
     I s h o u l d t o w a r d s God a n d men?
2.         Am I c o n s t a n t a n d f a i t h f u l i n f o l l o w i n i
     t h e t r e n d g i v e n my l i f e b y m o r r e n t s o f d e e p
     thought and i n s p i r a t i o n , o r , d e s p i t e          the
     f a c t t h a t I have a l r e a d y adopted a                final
     a n d d e f i n i t i v e p e r s o n a l a t t i t ~ d e ,d o I --
     s t i l l w a v e r b e t w e e n God a n d my e g o i s m ?       In
     t h i s w a y , d o I s t i l l g i v e f r e e r e i n t o il.1
     u s i o n s , a n d i m p r o p e r p l a n s and d e s i r e s ?
                                                                         -
3.        Do my c o n v i c t i o n s a n d r e s o l u t i o n s eas-
     i l y g ' i v e way b e f o r e my c h a n g i n g m o o d s ,  or
     before the rebellions of self-love? .
4.         Am I o n e o f t h o s e who f r a n k l y i n t e n d ' t o
     b e "good", w i t h o u t s t u d y i n g t h e n e c e s s a r y
     means a n d w i t h o u t b e i n g p r e p a r e d t o u n d e r -
     g o t h e h a r d e s t t e s t o f my f i d e l i t y : c h a n g -
     i n g moods, t h e r e b e l l i o n s o f nature,           the
     p a s s a g e o f t i m e ? Does t h i s a t t i t u d e h a v e
      a s i t s s o u r c e a d e s i r e t o r e a c h God w h i l e
      still living as I please?
5.          Have t h e s i n c e r i t y a n d f i r m n e s s o f my
      r e s o l u t i o n s i n t h e s p i r i t u a l l i f e worried
      me a t a n y t i m e ?
6.            A m I h a s t y ? Do I a l l o w m y s e l f t o be i n
      f l ' u e n c e d by my s e n t i m e n t s when m a k i n g i m -
                                                                           -
                              -
      p o r t a n t d e c i s i o n s ? Why d o I n o t r e f l e c t
      befara a c t i n g            i a it b e c a u s e I am a f r a i d
      t o s u r + ~ e r i d e myself fully ,OF becauseof l o v e
                              i~
      of comfort o r l a c k of e f f o r t t o c o n t r o l              -
      ny s u p e r f i c i a l i t y ?
7.       . A r e my d e c i s i o n s t o g i v e m y s e l f f u l l y
                                                                           -
      g o v e r n e d by l ' c i r c u m s t a n c e s " w h i c h I i n t r o
      d u c e ? Do I d o t h i s i n o r d e r n o t t o seem              -
      openly stubborn i n t h e f a c e of grace, o r                          .
      t o g i v e a good i m p r e s s i o n t o my s u p e r i o r s ?
8.         Do I a c t a c c o r d i n g t o my h i g h c a l l i n g ,
      o r , when f a c e d w i t h t h e l t n e z e s s i t y l l o f l i v
      i n g i t , d o I become i n w a r d l y d i s c o u r a g e d -
                                                                                   I-     '

      and c u t . m y s e l f o f f from t h i s o b l i g a t i o n ?
9.          Do I f o s t e r i n t e r n a l "escapLsml' t o s o-      f
      t e n a l i f e o f a n g u i s h a n d s o r r o w which        I
      h a v e b r o u g h t upon m y s e l f t l i r o u g h l a c k o f
      t o t a l s u r r e n d e r ? Do I l o o k f o r t h e t h i n g s
      w h i c h a r e i m p o s s i b l e i n my s t a t e o f l i f e
                                                                                   I
      as a k i n d of u n f a i r compensation?
                                                                                   r"
10.       I s t h e r e c o n f l i c t b e t w e e n t h e demands                1..
                                       y
      o f my v o c a t i o n a n d m p e r s o n a l p l a n s ,  m y

11.
      dreams, i d e a l s and l o v e s ?
        . When I d e c i d e on a g r e a t e r s u r r e n d e r ,
                                                                                   I
                                                                                   L...
      i s my w i l l t o t a l l y c o m m i t t e d ? C o n s i d e r i n g .

                                  -   86   -
                           t h a t I h a v e c o m m i t t e d ' i t t o t a l l y t o God,-
                           d o I k e e p a n y t h i n g b a c k f o r m y s e l f ? As r e -
                  -        g a r d s . t h e , p a s s a g e of t i m e , do I s t i l l en-
                           . - $ e r t a i n t h e h o p e t h a t my s u r r e n d e r t o           --
                           C h r i s t will n o t b e f o r e v e r ?           .
             1 2 .,,,, .Is my l o v e f o r - .C h..r i s .t .j o i ' n e d . : t o a l ' i f e
                                                                 .
                  '
                   . o.f. ... s a c r i f i c e w h i c h I e a r n e s t l y ' s e e k ? , I s i t
                      I.
             .: .. . : . ,.n , i t e d t o m a k i n g r e p a r a t i o n . t o J e s u s , . a n d
                     .u . .
                       t o a s i n c e r e communion,of.int~rests?-
                      , .
              1 3 ....:, .. .. O_. , . t h e . o t h e r hand,; d o I s h o w , g r e a f :
                                 n                                                                    --
             . --cleverness                      i n s e a r c h . i n g o u i ., a n y t h i n g w h i c h
                     w i 1 i : f i t t h e f o r m a l i t i k s i i t h o u t obliging
                     me t o . l i v e a .. .t o t a l surrender? :
                      '
                               . .                                                        . ,
                                                                                            :
                                                                                            ,



              14.              B e c a u s e o f t h i s ' , 'arii' I                   ahead i n       -
     .       .            ! t h e r e l i g i o u s l i £ e , , , p ~ i e s t l y . ; l i f e ,w i t h a u t
..
.        .   .-            any f u . n d a m e. n t b l . . t r u t h . o $ u s f a i n me? , A m I
                                                     . . -              t
                           moved o n i y ' by o.. t. h e .r human i n t e r e s t s . a p a r t
                                     '                      ..
                           f r o m , .t h o s e : o f ~ ; . ~ o a n d ' s o u l s ? A + & t h e s e p u r
                                                               .d
                           e l y ' human c o n d i d e r a t i o n s e n o u g h . ; t d ' c o n s o l e
                           me i n my t r o u b l e s ? Am I oftsn s a d a n d d e -
                          .jetted?           '
                                             .                           ..
                                                                                       ..       . .
                                         .
                                         .   .                      .         .   .
             15.             '   Have I e v e r f o u n d m y s e l f t r $ i n g t o h i d e
                          a n y t h i n g f r o m ~ o d ?Is t h i s a t t i t u d e o f i n -
         . ..             s i n c e r i t y . ; t d w a r d s God-'and t o w a r d s m y - c o n s . -
                          c i e r i c e by 'any d k a n c e t h e ' u S u a 1 ,orie I a d o v t ?
                           . ... .           . ..
                                                .       :.:.       ' .
                                                                                  .   .     .  -.
             16.                  DO'.'^ e v e r . f i n 4 mysc1.f ';making d n e f f o r t
                                 a p p e a r b e f o r e " o t h e r s i n a d i f f e r e n t --
                             '
                                                    .    , .   .
                         to
                       : l i ' g h t . t h a n t K e . . o n &. i ~ w h i c h . I s e e m y s e l f ?
                                                                      i
                        Have I e v e r g o n e a g a i n s t my n a t u r a l t e n d -
                        e n c i e . s .;in o r d e r . t o a p p e a r a s a f e r v e n t . - -
- .                   . ' r e l i g i o , u s . i n . t h % s i g h t o f o t h e r s ? Have        I
                        t r i e d a t a n y t i m e , . b y m e r e . .o u t.w a r d f o r m a l -
          i t i e s , t o h i d e my moments o f u n f a i t h f u l - , ,
          n e s s f r o m God o r f r o m t h e L e g i o n ?
    17.        Am I s i n c e r e i n my d e a l i n g s w i t h my           -
          s u p e r i o r s ? Am I a m i a b l e a n d p l e a s a n t w i t h
          them, o r h a r s h and dominating?
    18.        Is t h e r e much c o n f l i c t b e t w e e n w h a t I
          s a y a b o u t t h e s u p e r i o r when d e a l i n g w i t h
          him o r when t a l k i n g w i t h o t h e r s , a n d w h a t
                                                                                           B
                                                                                          $; ,


          I r e a l l y t h i n k o f him?
    19.       A m I s i n c e r e i n o p e n i n g my c o n s c i e n c e
          t o him? Why n o t            -  f o r shame o f b e i n g         --            I
          known, o r f o r f e a r t h a t h e may f o r m extr:                      -
          me o p i n i o n s o f ' m e ' o r c h a n g e t h e o n e s h e
          already has?
    20.         Do my c o n v e r s a t i o n s a b o u t t h e t h i n g s - '
          o f God g i v e t h e i m p r e s s i o n t h a t t h e y come
          o n l y from t h e l i p s o u t w a r d s , n e v e r from             -
          t h e h e a r t , o r do t h e y s p r i n g f r o m i n t i m a t .
          l i v i n g of t h o s e d i v i n e t h i n g s ?
    21.         Under t h e g u i s e o f h u m i l i t y , h a v e I         -
          s e c r e t l y formed a t t i t u d e s d i f f e r e n t from
          t h o s e of t r u e s e l f - a b a s e m e n t ?                                I
.   22.         Do I p r , e f e r w o r d s   of humility t o a t t i t
          udes o f - h u m i l i t y and       s e l f - w i t h d r a w a l ? DO-
          I prefer t o say t h a t             I am n o t h i n g t h a n t o
          h a v e o t h e r s t r e a t me     as. such?
    23.      Have I f o u n d h u m i l i t y t h e b e s t way f o r
          showing-of f ?                                                                    I
     4,      Does it c o s t me a l o t t o b e c h a r i t a b l e
          when o n l y God a h d my own c o n s c i e n c e c a n
          take t h i s i n t o account?
                                                                                -           1:
                                                                                                  .
                                                                                                 -q




                                    -   88     -                       .                    I_
    25.      Have I reached the stage of showing --
          piety and learning so as to impose myself
          on others through arrogance and thirst for
          command and importance? Have I done this
          in a practical and openly rebellious way?
    26.      Have I ambitions of making a name for
          myself by my iqtelligence, originality -
          etc. ? Does this ambition lead me to ad-
          opt attitudes which are morally suspect?
    27.      When I defend an opinion in an argument
          do I really seek the truth, or is this --
          only of secondary interest to me? Am I --
          only interested in forcing my point or in
          appearing as the best debater? On the oth-
          er hand, do I recognise my mistakes when
          they are pointed out t o , m e ?
    28.      Why do I study     -
                              out of v a n i t y , or S e -
          cause of some subtle spirit of independ -
          ence : in crder to show-up- otheps - l a t e r
          on? On the contrary, have I a sincere de-
          sire to acquire knowledge and form myself
          for the benefit of the Kingdom?
    29,   Have I ever found myself telling a lie?
       Was this because of surprise or nervous-
       ness, because of pride a n d sclf-love, or             '


       because of a previously-formed habit of in
       sincerity? How do I behave afterwards? Do
                                                          -
       I rectify my mistake, or tell more lj-es'to
       cover it up?
    30.       Am I a noble soul, finding it impossib-
          l e to hide my mistakes? Do I know how to .
          tell and confess my failings to anyone,-        -
          rather than harbour insincerity and false-

3                           -   89   -
      hood?
31.         Am I s i n c e r e i n t h e s u p p r e s s i o n of a n y
      u n l a w f u l a f f e c t i o n s which I f e e l t o w a r d s       -
      o t h e r s ? Do I        c o n t r o l myself from the' out-.
      s e t a n d a v o i d o c c a s i o n s o f s i n ? Have I c o n
      v i n c e d m y s e l f t h a t t h e s e f a u l t s d o n o t ex-
      i s t , i n o r d e r t o g o on d e v e l o ~ i n gt h e m ? 3 0
      I c a m o u f l a g e t h e m by g i v i n g t h e m s t r a n g e      -
      names ( a p o s t o l a t e , s p i r i t u a l i n t i m a c y ,   -
      c h a r i t y and c o n s o l a t i o n o f t h e a f f l i c t e d ,
      e t c . ) ? Do I o v e r c o m e m y s e l f i n t h i s f o r a
      while, only t o give i n afterwards?
32.         Am I s i n c e r e i n d e d i c a t i n g a l    l my s e n t -
      i m e n t s and a f f e c t i o n s t o C h r i s t ,    o r do I
      p r e t e n d t h a t o t h e r s don-'t s c e m   y     hearing
      and s e e i n g c e r t a i n things, w h i l e          i n real-
      i t y I do s e e and h e a r them             ...?
33.       I n s p i t e o f what I s a y , do I d i . r e c t l y
                                   y
      o r indirectly foster m sensuality?
34.       Do I t r y t o b e n o b l e , w i t h a n a t t i t u d e
      o f c o m p l e t e s i n c e r i t y , t o w a r d s God, t o w a r d
.     myself and t o w a r d s o t h e r s ?
35.       A m I n o b l e i n my t h o u g h t s ? Do I r e f u s e
      t o p e r m i t m y s e l f a n y t h i n g I would n o t . d a r e
      t o e x p r e s s i n words?
36.         A r e m y . m o t i v a t i o n s n o b l e ? Do my a c t i o n s
      c o r r e s p o n d t o my g o o d i n t e n t i o n s , w i t h o u t
      need o f b i g e x p l a n a t i o n s ?                       . .
37,     Do I B e l i e v e t h a t i n t h i s way I w i l l b e
    a n i n t e g r a l a n d u p r i g h t man?
              *
.I   35.          When I commit a f a u l t , h a v e I t h e cot1.r-
           age t o s h o u l d e r t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r i t ?
     39.         Do I e v e r t h i n k . t h a t my l a c k o f s i n c e r -
           i t y , a s w e l l as d e g r a d i n g m y s e l f , i s an      -
           o f f e n c e a g a i n s t God a n d my f e 1 J . o ~ - m e n ?
                                                   24.   CHARITY




1.         Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h e i m p o r t a n c e w h i c h     -
     t h i s v i r t u e has a s regards t h e s p i r i t of                -
     t h e Gospel and t h e m y s t i q u e o f t h e Legion?
2.         Is t h e i m i t a t i o n o f C h r i s t i n h i s t o t a l
     s u r r e n d e r t o o t h e r s t h e g r e a t i d e a l and        -
     r u l e of my w h o l e l i f e ?
3.        Do I h a b i t u a l l y m e a s u r e my l o v e f o r       --
     C h r i s t a c c o r d i n g t o my s u p e r n a t u r a l l o v e   -
              y
     for m brothers?
4.         I n my o p i n i o n , i s c h a r i t y t h e s u r e s t       -
     i n d i c a t i o n o f m i d e n t i f i c a t i o n with the
                              y                                             -
     Legionary s p i r i t ?
5.         Have I l e a r n e d t o s u r r e n d e r m y s e l f t o       -
     m neighbour w i t h o u t l o o k i n g f o r any r e -
       y
     w a r d ? Can I say t h a t I h a v e o v e r c o m e s e l f -
     i n t e r e s t f r o m t h e way I d e a l w i t h my broth-
     e r s ? Is making o t h e r s h a p p y t h e o n e i d e a l
     o f my l i f e ?
6.         I s my b a s i c c o n c e p t o f c h a r i t y o n e o f       -
     constant sacrifice so t h a t others w i l l not
     h a v e t o make s a c r i f i c e s ?
7.       D o I pray f o r my'brothers., e s p e c i a l l y                 -
        f ~ t r o s e who s u f f e r most from t e n g t a i i o n s
                   h
     . a n d t r i d l s ? A n I r e n l l y interested i n t h e i y t
                                                                   fiiy b p o : - L a r ; '
        g l . e a n r ! i c ~ l i : l e c s ? 30 I ] ~ i n d , - , ~                        -
        s a n c t i f i c a t i o n b y x ~ y o w nb a d e r a m p l a ?
8.         Am I J . a ~ v i n g l yc h a r i t a b l e t o w a r d s t h e m ?
       Do I w a n t t o l o v e t h e m t o t h e s a m e d e g r e e
       a s I t h i n k I l o v e God?
9.           Have I a s u p e r n a t u r a l a t t i t u d e t o w a - d s
       t h e m , o r a m e r e n a t u r a l i s t i c a n d human -                        -
       one?
      .c e r eI s  my f r i e n d s h i p w i t h my O r o t h e r s s i n -
                ?  Is c h i s f r i e n d s h i p b a s a d on s u p e r n a t
       u r a l m o t i v e s ? Do I g o o v e r t h i s a s p s c t i n
                                                                                            -
       d e t a i l w i t h my s u p e r i o r s s o os t o a v o i d -
       any p o s s i b l e mistakes?,Do I follow t h e i r                                  -
       i n s t r u c t i o n s , o r am I c a l c u l a t j n g , m a n i f a s
       t i n g my a f f e c t i o n s a n d g i v i n . ~ y s e l f s r n a l i
                                                           m
       concessions?
11.          Do I o b g e r v e c h a r i t y i n my i n n o s t                    - -
       t h o u g h t s and f e e l i n g s ?
12.          On w h a t d o I b a s e my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s -
       the brothers              -
                                 on s p i r i t u a l , i n t e l l e c t u a l
       or p h y s i c a l q u a l i t i e s , o r o n t h e e x t e n t t o
       w h i c h t h e y a g r e e w i t h me i n e v c r y t h i x g ?
13.                                  y
             Do I c r i t i c i s e m b r o t h e r s i n ay    own
       m i n d ? Have I d e v e l o p e d t h e h a h i t o f e x c u s -
       i n g t h e i r fault:: i n t h e l:ght        o f r;y own -
       conscience?
4           Do I u s u a l l y j u d g e t h e a c t i o n s of o - t h e. - a -
      i n a c r i t i c a l i h y , i f s o t a l l o f t h e m , at
      l e a s t some o f t h e m ? H a v e I a c q u i r e d t h - e                    -
      h a b i t o f j u d g i n g e v e ~ y t h i n gw i t h c h a . r i t v ?
        15.         I n my d a i l y l i f e , h a v e I p u t a s i d e a l l
              b i t t e r n e s s , e n v y a n d j e a l o u s y ? Do I r e s -
                                                                                       C
                                                                                       i   ,


                          y
              p c c t m s u p e r i o r s ? Does t h i s r e s p e c t a l s o
              e x t e n d t o my e q u a l s , t o t h o s e i n       lower       -
              p o s i t i o n s , and t o o u t s i d e r s ?
        16.          When t h i n k i n g o f t h e m a f t e r w a r d s , h a v e
              I a j u s t a p p r e c i a t i o n o f t h e successesand
              t > i u m p h s o f o t h e r s ? Under t h e p r e t e x t
              b e i n g o b j e c t i v e , do I t r y t o m i n i m i s e
                                                                                of
                                                                             -- -
                                                                                       I
              t h e m ? Do I d o t h i s o p e n l y ? Do I g e t some
              c o n s o l a t i o n f r o m t h i s way o f a c t i n g ?
        17.         A m I d i s h e a r t e n e d b y my n e i g h b o u r ' s -
              s u c c e s s ? Does i t b e l i t t l e me? Do I l o o k            -
              f o r other' compensations              -     greater sanct-
              t i t y , a deeper and l i v l i e r intelligence                    ,
              g r e a t c r p r a c t i c a l t a l e n t , a g r e a t e r con-
              s i d e r a t i o n f r o m t h e s u p e r i o r s , o r more i   n
              f l u e n c e o v e r my f e l l o w b r o t h e r s ?
        18.        ' ~ o e . t h e s u c c e s s o f o t h e r s make m e f e e l
                           s
              h a p p y ? Do I t h i n k o f t h e s e s u c c e s s e s a s my
         "    own? Do I t h a n k G o d f o r t h e m ?
        19.      I s 'my i n n e r f e e l i n g t o w a r d s t h e f a i l x r
              es o f o t h e r s one of joy and s i t i s f a c t i o n :
              of i n d i f f e r e n c e , o r of h e a l t h y concern?
                                                                                       P
        20.         Do .I a l l o w m y s e l f t o b e i n f l u e n c e d by
              my p e r s o n a l l i k e s a n d d i s l i k e s ? Do I' ' t r e a t
              some b r c t h s r s d i f f e r e n t l y f r o m o t h e r s b e -
-   .
              c a u s e o f t h e s e l i k e s and d i s l i k e s ? O r , on
              t h e o t h e r h a n d , do I t r e a t - t h e m a l l w i t h -
              aqua1 r e s p e c t , with the.same d e l i c a t e            --
              c a r e , w i t h t h e same c o n c c l - n ? Do I r e a l l y
              fulfil t h e r a l e o f u n i v e r s a l i t y f a i t h f u l 1 3
      21.          What i s my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s t h o s e who
             n a t u r a l l y d i s a g r e e w i t h me? D c  I avoid            -
             t h e m ? Do I f i n d i t h a r d t o h a v e a n y t h i n g
             t o do w i t h them, and do I s a c k a l l possib-
             l e w a y s o f l e t t i n g ' t h e m know t h i s ? Do I g o
             o u t o f my way t o t r e a t t h e m w i t h g r e a t e r         -
             delicacy?
      22.         What am I n o r m a l l y l i k e ? A m I h a r s h a n d
            r u d e , haughty, independent, d i s t a n t , impat                 -
            i e n t , d i s t r u s t f u l and c a u t i o u s , r e s e r v e d ,
            a r t i f i c i a l ? Or am I h a p p y a n d a m i a b l e , r e -     s
            pectful, delicate?
      23.        A m I o n e o f t h o s e who l i k e t o l i v e n        up
            t h e conversation a t t h e expense o f o t h e r s ?
            Do I l i k e t o c o n t r a s t my i n t e l l i g e n c e w i t h
            t h e d e f e c t s o f o t h e r s ? A m I systematically
r:
L
      24.
            ironic o r sarcastic?
                  Do I e n g a g e i n h e a t e d a r g u m e n t s ? Do I
            b e l i e v e I am t h e o n l y o n e who i s r i g h t ? A m
            I c a p a b l e o f c h a n g i n g my o p i n i o n w i t h    sim
            p l i c i t y ? Why n o t : b e c a u s e o f s e l f - l o v e , o r
            f r o m t h e w i s h t o s h o w o f f a n d t o show my
            k n o w l e d g e a t a l l c o s t s ? D o I a d m i t my
            takes?
                                                                            mis   -
      '25.        Am I r e s t r i c t i v e and d o g m a t i c , o r s i m -

I           ple,     humble, f l e x i b l e and condescending i n
            t h e s e arguments?
      26.         A m I h e l p f u l ? D I t r y t o h e l p my b r o t h
                                            o
:
I           e r s w h e n e v e r p o s s i b l e ? Does t h i s a t t i t u d e -
            e x t e n d t o a l l my b r o t h e r s ? Do I d o t h i s t o
            b e n o t i c e d , o r d o I d o it i n a h i d d e n way?
I
I-.   27.        Do I know how t o t h a n k my b r o t h e r s
            t h e i r s m a l l e s t a c t s o f k i n d n e s s t o me,
                                                                          f o
                                                                           or
                                                                                        ~
                             y
      do I t a k e them a s m d u e ? .
28.         Do I a s k f o r p a r d o n f r o m my b r o t h e r s
      when I h a v e o f f e n d e d t h e m , e v e n i f I h a v e
                                                                            -
      d o n e s o u n i n t e n t i o n a l l y ? Do I make a n e f f
      a r t n o t t o o f f e n d them i n t h e f i r s t p l . a c e ?
29.       Above a l l , d o I know how t o e n c o u r a g e                     -       .
      my b r o t h e r s by word a n d e x a m p l e ? D o I know.
      how t o p u t on a h a p p y f a c e , e v e n when            it              '

      costs m e a lot? Do I make e v p r y o n e s h a r e
      i n my p r i v a t e s u f f e r i n g s ? Don1 'f i n d e x c u s -
      e s f o r t h e d e f e c t s of o t h e r s ?
30.         Do I know how t o r e s p e c t t h e a c t i o n s o f
      o t h e r s , t h e i r i n t e n t i o n s and t h e i r belong-
      ings?
31.        Whenever I t e l l t h e s u p e r i o r s o m e t h i n g
      a b o u t a n o t h e r b r o t h e r , am I moved o n l y by
      pure i n t e n t i o n s , o r do a l i e n i n t e r e s t s con
      t a m i n a t e my a c t i o n ?
32.         On p r i n c i p l e , do I b e l i e v e a l l t h e good
      I h e a r a n d o n l y t h e b a d ' I s e e ? Do I d e t e s t
      s l a n d e r as o n e o f t h e g r e a t e s t e v i l s ?
33.        Have I y e t t r a i n e d m y s e l f i n t h e             - -
      s p i r i t of s o l ' i d a r i t y , o r h a s t h i s p r i n c i p -
      l e r e m a i n e d j u s t p u r e t h e o r y f o r ma?
34.         Can I s t a n d u p f o r t h e c h a r a c t e r a n d
      good name o f my b r o t h e r s , o r d o e s i t a n n o y
      m - t o h a v e t o s p e a k w e l l o f t h e m ? Do I d o
      ..- e
      t h i s a s often a s possible?
35.        Do I know how t o j o i n i n t h e i r i n i t i a t -
      i
      -v e s .o r d o I a l w a y s t r y t o s p o i l them?
36.        Do I w r i t e t o t h e o t h e r f r o n t s a s o f t e n
    a s I can?
37.       I s t h e d o c t r i n e o f t h e Mystical Body -
 , a n i m p o r t a n t e l e m e n t i n my l i v i n g o f char
    i t y , o r is i t only a n i c e s u b j e c t f o r me2
    itation?
                                                                 -
38.       Do I t r y t o b e m o r e c a r e f u l e a c h    day
      i n matters o f c h a r i t y , a l m o s t t o t h e   --
      point o f b e i n g s c r u p u l o u s ?
                     25. . COMPLAINING A N D         FA ULT-FINDING




                                                                              L    1
1.         Have I r e a l i s e d t h a t c o m p l a i n i n g i s a
     s i n , a n d t h a t it d o e s s e r i o u s damage t o           -
     t h e s p i r i t o f t h e G o s p e l ? Do I r e a l i s e        -    B
     how o p p o s e d i t i s t o t h e way a L e g i o n a r y
     should l i v e ?
2.        Have    I reali-sed t h a t t h i s a t t i t u d e        --       \SF]
                                                                              "L
     makes a      r e l i g i o u s loatliesome i n t h e s i g h t
     o f God,     because, j u s t a s t h e physical n a t
     ure of       man i s i m p o r t a n t , s o i s h i s m o r a y             '1
     nature,      and t h i s I s d e s t r o y e d by g r u m b l       -        -f
     i n g and    fault-finding?
3.        Does t h e c r i t e r i o n l a i d down b y t h e          --
     a p o s t l e S t . James     about t h e pe2fect           use
     o f t h e t o n g u e m a k e me r e a l i s e t h e g r a v i t y
     and s u b t l e d a n g e r o f g r u m b l i n g : " S i q u i s
     i n v e r b o non o f f e n d i t , h i c p c r f e c t u s e s t
     vir" (3,2)          ?
4.          Do I o f t e n r e m e m b e r t h e e v i l t h i s v i c e
     b r i n g s , a n d how e n e r g e t i c a l l y i t i s       com-
     batted i n t h e Legion? D o I b e l i e v e t h a t ,
     s c c o r s d i n g t o t h e R u l e o f p e r f e c t i o n , c r i-
     .    .
     ~ c i s ni s o n e o f t h e w o r s t e v i l s , b e c a u s e
     I t o p e n l y o p p o s e s c h a r i t y , vihich i s t h e      -
                                                                          t
                                                                              -    I
      c h a r a c t e r i s t i c of e v e r y C h r i s t i a n and     --
      every Legionary?               .
5.        D o e s my s t a t e a s a man, a s a C h r i s t i a n
      a s a L e g i o n a r y , a s a f u t u r e p r i e s t , move
      m e t o hate a l l kinds of criticism?
6.          Am I h o r r i f i e d b y t h e t h o u g h t t h a t , b y
      g r u m b l i n g , I t u r n my B r o t h e r i n t o a w a l k -
      ing corpse?
7.          Have I m e d i t a t e d o f t e n o n t h e f a c t        --
      t h a t t h e f a u l t - f i n d e r d o e s n o t h i n g more -
      t h a n c a s t h i s p e r s o n a l e v i l on t h e l i v e s
      of the others?
8.          Have I e v e r c o m p l a i n e d o r d o I f r e q u - -
      e n t l y d o t h i s ? Do I f i n d f a u l t - b y f o r c e         -
      of habit?
9.          Why d o I d o t h i s       -
                                    t h r o u g h l a c k of r e -
      f l e c t i o n , through envy, i l l - w i l l , d i s g u s t
      o r f o r t h e sake o f " g e t t i n g evenn ? '
10.        Am I i n t h e h a b i t of n o t i c i n g t h e            --
      f a u l t s of      o t h e r s ? If t h e r e i s s o m e t h i n g
      a b o u t my b r o t h e r s w h i c h a n n o y s m e , d o I     -
      u s u a l l y k e e p t u b n i n g i t o v e r i n my m i n d ?
11.         If I h e a r c o m p l a i n i n g , d o I g e n t l y b u t
      f i r m l y o p p o s e i t ? Do I r e f r a i n f r o m d o i n g
      s o b e c a u s e o f human r e s p e c t ?     Cn t h e o t h -
      e r hand, do I d e r i v e g r e a t p l e a s u r e from
      hearing others voicing t h e i r criticisms?
12.     .   B e f o r e s p e a k i n g , d o I t h i n k how e a s y        -
      i t i s t o take only t h e negative aspects                           -
      i n t o account? D o I f i g h t with a l l m           y         --
      might a g a i n s t t h i s n e g a t i v e tendency?
13.         Do I k e e p a w a y f r o m t h o s e who l i k e t o
      spend t h e i r c o n v e r s a t i o n s speaking about
      t h e f a u l t s o f o t h e r s ? Have I s t a r t e d c o n -
      v e r s a t i o n s which n a t u r a l l y l e a d t o t h i s ?
14.        Do I j o k e a n d make w i t t y r e m a r k s a b o u t
      t h e d e f e c t s o f my b r o t h e r s when t h e y  are
      not present?
15.         Do I a v o i d s p e a k i n g a b o u t t h o s e who        -
      h a v e p r e v i o u s l y a n n o y e d me, o r t h o s e o f
      whom I h a v e n o t g o t a g o o d o p i n i o n , s o a s
      n o t t o r u n t h e r i s k o f s l a n d e r i n g them?
16.      Do I t r y t o p r a i s e o t h e r s a n d g i v e             --
      them c r e d i t on a l l t h e i r good p o i n t s ? D o I
      find excuses f o r t h e i r f a u l t s , both i n m y
      own m i n d a n d i n my o u t w a r d r e a c t i o n s ?
17.         Can I s a y t h a t I h a v e a l r e a d y d e v e l o p - -
      ed t h a t " i n s t i n c t i v e h a t r e d o f c r i t i c i s m "
      w h i c h N u e s t r o P a d r e speaks a b o u t ?
18.         Have I y e t l e a r n e d t o l o o k a t e v e r y - -
      t h i n g f r o m a n u n b i a s e d v i e w p o i n t ? When      --
      some j o b a p p e a r s t o me t o b e b a d l y d o n e ,
      have I l e a r n e d t o r e s p e c t a t l e a s t t h e
      good i n t e n t i o n which i n s p i r e d i t ?
19.        Do I s t r i v e t o g a i n t h e h a b i t o f s e e -
      ing C h r i s t i n e v e r y o n e , as t h e b e s t ba-
      s i s f o r f i g h t i n g a g a i n s t t h e h a b i t of        -
      c o m p l a i n i n g a n d f a u l t - f i n d i n g ? Do I t r y t o
      do t h i s w i t h i n t e r e s t ?
                                                   2 . HUMILITY
                                                    6




    1.         Have I a d e e p u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f my c o n -
         d i t i o n a~ a c r e a t u r e a n d a s i n n e r ?
    2.   .  Do I o f t e n ' t h i n k a b o u t my s p i r i t u a l     -
         and c o r p o r a l i n s i g n i f i c a n c e ?
    3.         If I e x a m i n e m y s e l f w i t h c o m p l e t e s i n -
         c e r i t y , do I s e e t h a t t h e o p i n i o n I h a v e
         o f myself i s t o o g o o d ? Have I grasged t h e
         c o n c e p t t h a t I a m n o t h i n g i n God's s i g h t
         and i n t h e s i g h t o f o t h e r s , w i t h o u t Div-
         i n e grace?
    4.        Moved by t h e s e c o n v i c t i o n s , a m I a l -
         ways r e a d y f o r a n y t h i n g ?
    5.         Do I b e l i e v e t h a t I c a n s a n c t i f y my-           ,

         s e l f b y my own e f f o r t s ?
    6.       Do I s e e k g r a c e ,     and do I p r a y f e r v e n t
         l y for i t ? D o I know         how t o t h a n k God. f o r -
         the              He g i v e s    m e ? Do I s e e g r a c e a s
         a f r e e g i f t which I        have done n o t h i n g t o
         merit?
    7.         Do I b e c o m e d i s c o u r a g e d when I f i n d m y
         s e l f c o m m i t i n g t h e same f a u l t ; w h i c h I -

I
      have been fighting against for so long?
      Do I humble myself before God and ask Him
     '.for !{is grace?
8.       Do I thank Him when Ha saves me from
      sinning?
                                                    -
9.       Vhy am I upset when I   h a v e . offended.-
                    I have hurt Him, or because
      H i m : because
      I have fallen.from my lofty position?
10.   Do I always go to my superiors when
   necessary? A m I confident that they can
                                                  -
   help me, or do I think that my own solut-
   ions and criteria are enough? Do I carry
   out their advices with sincerity and con-
   stancy?
11.   When told to do something, do I adjust
   my inward and outward attitude to agree         -
   with that of the superior?
12.    Am I self-sufficient? Do I think that
    I can d o everything well by myself?
13.    Does this self-sufficiency cxtend even
    to ambitions for superiority? D G I think
    that I c'arry out the Holy Rule better       - -
    than others? In which aspect do I think --
    myself superior     --
                        mental ability, person     d


    a1 tslent, artistic bent, physical prow-
    ess etc..,.?
14.      Does this overestimation of my worth -
      gi-re rise to disdain and contempt for - -
      everyone else, he they superiors or fel-
      low brothers?
15.      An   I independent? Do I carry out tasks
          k e e p i n g b a r e l y w i t h i n the L i m i t s o f obed
          ience,        and calm myself w i t h            groplndless-
          excuses?
    16.        Do I e n g a g e i n h e a t e d  arguments, even
          on t o p i c s a b o u t w h i c h I know n o t h i n g ? D o I
          e x a l t my own o p i n i o n s a n d v i e w s ?
    17.        Am I a d a p t a b l e and a g r e e a b l e , o r s t y b b
          o r n l y e n t r e n c h e d i n my o p i n i o n s ? Do 1 . e a s
          ily a c c e p t t h e s u g g e s t i o n s o f my b r o t h e r z ?
    18.         Do I s o m e t i m e s l i e i n o r d e r ' t o s u p p o r t
          my a r g u m e n t s ? Do I f i n d i n t e r n a l s a t i s f a c t
          i o n i n my own c r i t e r i a ? Do I d e s p i s e . a l l -
          o t h e r c r i t e r i a , n o t even regardi.ng them -
          a s b e i n g worthy o f consideration'?
    19.      -Do I - t r y t o b e d i f f e r e n t f r o m o t h e r s
          s o a s t o draw a t t e n t i o n t o m y s e l f ?
    20.        Am I a n x i o u s      t o know t h e o p i n i o n       my
          s u p e r i o r s a n d b r o t h e r s h a v e o f me.?
    21.         Do I l o o k        f o r t h e p r a i s e and         good   -
          w i s h e s o f o t h e r s ? Do I s p e a k a l o t             about
          m y s e l f a n d my own a f f a i r s ? Do I l o o k              for
          a t t e n t i o n , e x c e p t i o n a n d p r e f e r e n c e ? Do I
          s u f f e r v e r y much when I g o u n n o t i c e d ?             Do
          I p l a y down my own m e r i t s s o t h a t t h o s e -
          o f o t h e r s may b e r e c o g n i s e d ? . D o I . e n j o y
          remembering t h e i n c i d e n t s which b r o u g h t -
          me m o s t p r a i s e ?
    22,         Am I v e r y r e s e r v e d and s i l e n t , inward-
          l o o k i n g , t i m i d , moody o r s u s p i c i o u s ?
    23.         n o e s i t h u m i l i a t e me t o h a v e t o ask           -
-         p a r d o n f r o m my b F o t h e r s when I h a v e   off-
      ended them c o n s c i o u s l y o r u n c o n s c i o u s l y ?
      Do I f a i l t o d o s o ?
24.        Have I a m b i t i o n s i n l i f e ?
25.        Have I n o t i c e d a n y i n n e r t e n d e n c y t o -
      wards e x c e s s i v e s e l f - a p p r e c i a t i o n ? Which
      q u a l i t i e s , r e a l o r imaginary, give r i s e             -
      t o t h i s ? Are t h e y p h y s i c a l , i n t e l l e c t u a l ,
      talent i n sports activities,                        of a s p i r i- t
      ual nature?
26.         Do I a s s e s s p e o p l e s ' w o r t h according
      t o t h e way t h e y r e a c t t o my " e g o " ? D o I
      value t h i n g s according t o t h e i r r e l a t i o-   n
      s h i p w i t h t h e ' sa'me e g o ?
27.         D o 1 o f t e n i n d u l g e i n f a n t a s i e s and      -
      d a y - d r e a m s , i n w h i c h I am a l w a y s t h e hero?
      Do I a l w a y s t h i n k a b o u t my' t a l e n t s    and -
      qualities?
28.         What a t t i t u d e d o I t a k e when I am h u ~
      i l i a t e d ? Do I a c c e p t i t h u m b l y a n d s i n c e r -
      e l y ? D o I j u s t i f y m y s e l f i n my own mind ?
      Do I a c t a c c o r d i n g l y ? D o I g e t d i s c o u r a g -
      e d , o r do I s e e t h i n g s from a s u p e r n a t u r -
      a l v i e w p o i n t ? Does my f a c i a l e x p r e s s i o n
      betray-sadness, suppressed rage o r a f e e l                      -
      i a g of b e i n g m i s u n d e r s t o o d ?
29,        Do I a c c e p t c o r r e c t i o n s w i t h h u m i l i t y
      a n d s i m p l i c i t y , o r d o I t h i n k t h a t I am
      being treated unjustly?
30.         Am I a f r a i d o f b e i n g c r i t i c i s e d o r o f
      b e i n g a - d v i s e d ? Have I a n e x a g g e r a t e d f e a r
      of b e i n g m i s i n t e r p r e t e d , of    being         mis
      understood, humiliated, o r possibly c a l u z
      niated?
31.      Do I t h i n k o f m y s e l f a s t h e p o i n t          -
      round which t h e whole world r e v o l v e s ?
32.        Do I s e e k t o a f f i r m s u p e r i o r i t y a s o f -
      t e n a s I c a n ? Do I d o t h i s i n t e r n a l l y o r
      externally?
33.         Do I d o t h i n g s s o l e l y t o k e e p o t h ~ r s     -
      s a t i s f i e d , o r do I d i r e c t everything t o
      God down t o t h e l a s t d e t a i l , p r z c t i c i n g       -
      g r e a t p u r i t y o f i n t e n t i o n ? Because o f       -
      t h i s , d o e s t h e o p i n i o n o f my f e l l o w - m e n -
      m e a n n o t h i n g t o me, n e i t h e r p r o m p t i n g m e
      t o d o g o o d , n o r p r e v e n t i n g mc?
34.         H a s w a n t i n g t o k e e p my r e p u t a t i o n made
      me s u b j e c t t o human r e s p e c t , h y p o c r i s y , o r
      e m p t y p r e t e n c e s ? Have I a c o n s t a n t f e a r -
      of l o s i n g f a c e w i t h o t h e r s ? D o e s t h i s  -
      f e a r f o r c e m e t o t a k e n o .initiative a n d -
      remain dormant?
35.         Do I s u f f e r when o t h e r s    are preferred
      t o me o r when s o m e o n e e l s e i s p r a i s e d , -
      g e t s on w e l l , o r r e a c h e s a h i g h d e g r e e o f
      holiness?
36.      A l t h o u g h I f i n d it h a r d , d o I p r a i s e       -
      everything t h e others do? D o I f i n d f a u l t
      with everyonz e l s e because I think I                   am
      superior?
37.         Do I i n s t i n c t i v l y t r y t o a v o i d h a v i n g
      a w t h i n g t o do w i t h t h e h u m i l i a t i o n s and
      f a u l t s of e v e r y o n e e l s e ? D o I f c e l more       -
      a t home w i t h p e o p l e who a r e p o w e r f u l , f a m
      o u s , a n d r i c h i n t h c t h i n g s of t h i s w o r l z ?
36.         Am I t u n e d t o t h e m i s e r y which e x i s t s
      t h r o u g h o u t t h e w o r l d ? Do I t h a n k God f o r
      h a v i n g g j v e n me a l l I h a v e ? D o e s t h e u s e
      a n d possession o f m a t e r i a l g o o d s f o s t e r -
      a s e n s i o f s e r i o u s r e s p o n s i S i l i t y o n my  -
      p a r t , s i n c c t h e y d o n c t b e l o n g t o me b u t
      a r e p l a c e d i n my k e e p i n g i n o r d e r t o b e      -
      d e v e l o p e d and p u t t o good u s e ?
39.         When d e a l i n g w i t h p o o r a n d h u m b l e p e o p
      le, h a v e I e v e r d o n e a n y t h i n g w h i c h m i g h t
      confirm t h e i ~ uspicions of being victim-
                              s
      i s e d or e x p l o i t e d , o r t h e i r p r e j u d i c e t o -
      w a r d s o t h e r s ? Do I s h o w t h e m r e a l b r o t h e.-  r
      l y love?
40.        Do I g i v e t h e v i r t u e o f h u m i l i t y i t s -
      due importance i n t h e c o n t e x t of C h r i s t -
      i a n a s c e t i c i s m and t h e Legionary mystique?
                                                         27. PURPOSE        OF AMENDMENT




'   I             .       .
                         1:             I n my e y e s , d o e s " p u r p o s e o f a m e n d m e n t "
                  . ,.
                  -
                         , .a   : s i g n i f y a mere f o r m u l a , o r h a s it t h e
                                p r a c t i c a l m e a n i n g , t h a t of b e i n g ' f u l l y
                                                                                                   --
    !         -                   a w a r e o f my b a s i c p o w & r l e s s n e s s a n d m i s -
                      :.. .
                      .'
                                  e r y i n G o d f s e y e s , and of t h e i n f i n i t e       -
            - .                  d e b t ..w h i s h I h a v e i - n c ~ u r r e dw i t h H-im?
                         2.                                       y
                                       W h a t , f o r m d o e s m p u r p o s e o f amendment
    i   .                        t a k e ? Is i t a g o a d i n g s e n s a t i o n o f s o r r o w
                                 f o r s i n , a feeling of gratitude because                          -
                                 God h a s p a r d o n e d m e , o r a s e r i o u s r e s p o n -
                                 s i b i l i t y o f responding t o t h e grace
                                 forgiveness?.
                                                                                            of         -
                         3.           T h e r e f o r e , e a c h t i m e I r a i s e u p my       -
                                m i n d t o God, d o 1 make a n a c t o f h u m i l i t y
        I                       b e f o r e h a n d ? Do I a l w a y s d o t h i s , o r o n l y
                                during spiritual exercises?
                       4.             Do I c o n f i n e t h i s g r a t i t u d e s o l e l y t o
                                m o m e n t s o f i n t i m a c y w i t h God, o r d o I e x
                                t e n d i t t o a l l t h e a s p e c t s o f my l i f e ?
                                                                                                    -
                       5.             D o e s my p u r p o s e o f a m e n d m e n t c a u s e t h e
                                t r u s t i n g a n d c o n f i d e n t p r a y e r :"amplius          -
                                l a v p Re" t o s p r i n g t o my l i p s w i t h t h e
                                p e t l t l c n t h a t He n e v e r a l l o w m e t o f a l l
                                                                                                   --
                                                             -   107   -
                                                         -
     a g a i n ? Does i t l e a d me t o d e t e s t s i n , o r
                                                                                     I
     t o work f o r t h e e l i m i n a t i o n o f a l l i m p e r -
     fection?
                                                                                     i
6.       .Does i t c a u s e me t o d e p e n d o n t h e g r a -
     c e o f God : " e t n e n o s i n d u c a s i n t e n t a t -
     ionem" , o r am I r e c k l e s s , e x p o s i n g m y -                  .
     self t o frequent temptations, confident                               -
     i n my a b i l i t y t o o v e r c o m e t h e m ?
7.         Does i t l e a d t o a m o r e d e l i c a t e c h a r -
     i t y o n my p a r t ? Does i t k e e p me f r o m those
     j u d g e m e n t s o f my b r o t h e r s w h i c h o f f e n d   -
     against charit.y t o t h e l e a s t degree?                           -
8.        Is t h e j o y f u l a c c e p t a n c e of a d v e r s i t y
     and t r o u b l e o n e o f t h e r e s u l t s      --
                                                           accord-
     i n g t o t h e second r u l e of s e l f - d e n i a l -
     o f my p u r p o s e o f a m e n d m e n t ?
                                                                    -
                                                                                    !
                                                                                    !
9.         Have I a d e s i r e t o r e a c h g r e a t h e i g h t s                --I
     i n my p e r s o n a l h o l i n e s s - a n d f u t u r e a p o s t -
     o l a t e , s o a s t o pay back a l i t t l e o f t h e
                                                                                    il
     d e b t I owe t o God a n d            t o t h e Legion?
10,       D o e s my c o m p u n c t i o n l e a d me      t o ' b e gen -          L- J 1
   . e r o u s a n d d e l i c a t e w i t h God?
                                              28.   SIN




           What d o e s s i n mean t o me? Is i t t h e -
     g r e a t e s t m i s f o r t u n e which could happen t o
     me in t h i s l i f e , a betrayal of the love                       -
     w h i c h God has had f o r me from a l l e t e r                -
     nity?        Do I s e e i t a s a v i o l a t i o n o f      the
     r i g h t s w h i c h G o d has o v e r m e a s my       C r e a-
                                                                     t
     or, Lord a n d F a t h e r ? O n t h e c o n t r a r y , i s
     i t s o m e t h i n g t o be a v o i d e d s i n c c I h a v e       -
     been t r a i n e d l i k e t h a t , and s i n c e it           -
     w o u l d be o u t o f t u n e w i t h t-he a t m o s p h e r e
     i n which I live?
2.        What i s my u s u a l a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s      my
     own s i n s    -    orie o f s h a m e a t s e e i n g c ~ y s e l f
     s o vile a n d h u m i l i a t e d , o f s o r r o w f o r h a v
     i n g o f f e n d e d God, o f t h a n k f u l n e s s f o r hay
     i n g b e ~ a o r g i v e n and savcd from f a l l i n g
                     f
                                                                       -
     a g a i n , op of r e s o l u t i o n and c a r e i n o r d e r
     never t o s i n again?
3.      Do I o f t e n t h i n k o f m y s i x i s ? Do I l o o k
     on t h e m with h o r r o r , o r w i t h a c e r t a i n       -
     indifference?
4.                                                      y
        What i s t h e n o r m a l a t t i t u d e o f m will
     towards s i n      -
                      sheer weakness, t o t h e                      -
                                                                                         ''    I
          p o i n t o f a c c e p t i n g t h i n g s which l e a d l o g -
           i c a l l y t o '-t? O r , h a v e I a d o u b t i n g , h e s -
                                                                                         ,--I
           i t a t i n g a t t i t u d e which p r e v e n t s m e from         -
          breaking free of temptation?
          find sin attractive               -
                                                               Do I s t i l l
                                                 would I commit i t             -        Fl
                                                                                          L



          i f i t d i d n o t o f f e n d God? Do I r e s i s t s i n
          with a strong w i l l which nevertheless                           - .
          makes c e r t a i n c o n c e s s i o n s t o s e n s u a l i t y -
          which do n o t immediately endapger t h e                         -
          l i f e of g r a c e ?        On t h e o t h e r h h n d , i s my
          w i l l a b s o l u t e l y and f i r m l y opposed t o a n y                   4
                                                                                          1-
                                                                                           ,
          t h i n g w h i c h c o u l d o f f e n d God i n a n y way ?
          T h e r e f o r e d o I r e j e c t t e m p t a t i o n i m m e d i a-
                                                                               t
          e l y a n d e n e r g e t i c a l l y ? Do I c o n f i d e n t l y    -.
          t a k e refuge i n t h e Blessed Virgin,or do I
          l o s e confidence and g e t confused and                        up-

     5,
          set?                                   . .


                Up t o now, h a s t h e g e n e r a l a t t i t u d e o f            .
                                                                                         4L -
                                                                                           .       ,



          my l i f e b e e n t o a v o i d s i n ? What i s my              -                 7
          c h i e f motive f o r         doing s o      -l o v e f o r God                :j
          h i s g r e a t e r g l o r y , l o v e f o r my v o c a t i o n ,
                                                                                           .
                                                                                          L.


          o r t h e f e a r of h a v i n g t o t e l l t h e s u p e r -
          i o r afterwards, s certain natural reserve
          o r t h e f e a r o f God's punishment?
     6.         On t h e o t h e r h a n d , h a v e I s i n n e d o f t e n
          i n my p a s t l i f e ? Was t h i s t h r o u g h h a b i t ,
"C        after a l o n g s t r u g g l e , o r was I t a k e n            by
          s u r p r i s e ? W h a t was my a t t i t u d e a f t e r w a r d s
          --    anguish, s i n c e r e sorrow, confidence i n                                 r-]
          God, o r s e l f - j u s t i f i c a t i o n i n o r d e r   to    -
          s i l e n c e my c o n s c i e n c e ?
     7.         Do I s t i l l f a l l i n t o s i n ? A r e t h e s e - .
          f a l l s i s o l a t c d i n c i d e n t s due t o f r a i l t y - -
      o r s u r p r i s e , o r have I abandoned               myself        -
      t o sin, b e l i e v i n g i t i m p o s s i b l e t     o overco
      me it? Do I make r e a l e f f o r t s t o               f r e e myz
      s e l f , o r d o I l i v e a l w a y s on t h e         brink of
      sin?
8.        By my w h o l e a t t i t u d e o n l i f e c o u l d I            -
      b e c a l l e d t h e " a n t i - s i n manf1? Am I r e a d y
      t o pray f o r death r a t h e r than f a l l i n t o                  -
      sin?
9.          Can I j u d g e w h e t h e r m y d e l i c a c y o f c o -n
      s c i e n c e has i m p r o v e d o f l a t e a s r e g a r d s -
      s i n ? Has i t d i m i n i s h e d ?   Do I now h a v e -
      more s o r r o w i n my c o n f e s s i o n t h a n b e f o r e ,
      o r l e s s ? Do I a l w a y s c o n f e s s t h e same            --
      s i n s ? Do I now t a k e more care w i t h m              y      -
      s e n s e s , o r l e s s ? Do I g i ' v e g r e a t - . r o r -
      l e s s e r importance t o s i n ?
10.         I s t h e r e some d e l i b e r a t e f a u l t , h o w e v e r
      s m a l l , t h a t I u s u a l l y commit : - l a c k o f             -
      f l e x i b i l i t y , hardness o f judgement,                or      -
      lack of responsibility?
11.     Do I e a s i l y s e e t h e f a u l t s o f my n e i g h
   b o u r , w h i l e i g n o r i n g my own? D c I h a v e
                                                                             -
                                                                             -
   t o check myself o f t e n f o r thrs?
12.         Do I c o n s i d e r v e n i a l s i n a s a d e v i a t - , . *
      i o n f r o m m g o a l ? Do I b e l i e v e t h a t i t i s
                        y
      a n o f f e n c e a g a i n s t God, a d e f o r m a t i o n o f
      my s o c l ? Do I n e v e r t h i n k a b o u t i t ? Do I
      j u s t i f y m v e n i a l s i n s by s a y i n g t h a t
                      y                                                  -
      t h e y a r e n o t i n c l u d e d i n t h e demands of -
      my L e g i o n a r y i d e a l ? Would I commit o n e -
      to avoid death, o r i n o r d e r t o a c q u i r e
      some g r e a t b e n e f i t s ? Do I m a n i f e s t t h e s e
      nistaker? points        o f view t o t h e s u p e r i o r ?
13.       What i s my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s t h e s i n s
      o f o t h e r s ? D o e s i t m e a n a n y t h i n g t o me?
      Do I d e p l o r e i t ?     Do I , b y a n y c h a n c e ,
      e x c u s e i t ? Do I t h i n k i t i s i n e v i t a b l e ?
      Do I f e e l d e e p l y i n v o l v e d i n i t i n t h e
      s e n s e o f m a k i n g u p f o r i t now o r c o m b a- t
      ting it a f t e r w a r d s ? Does it h u r t m e        t o
      s e e God s o o u t r a g e d a n d o f f e n d e d ?
14.         Do I m a k e r e p a r a t i o n f o r ny s i n s , a n d
      a l s o f o r t h o s e o f o t h e r s ? Do I s i n c e r e l y
      r e c a l l my s i n s t o n i n d i n t h e p r e s e n c e
      o f God? Do I f i n d i t easy t o u n i t e my -
      s e l f w i t h t h e redemptive sac.r:fice o f
      C h r i s t ? Go I s h a r e C h r i s t ' s s e n t i n e n t s
                                                               --
      of r e p a r a t i o n a n d e x p i a t i o n , a s t h e
      f o u r t h R u l e of P e r f e c t i o n d e m a n d s ?
-1   .
                                      29. SPIRIT OF MORTIFICATION
                                            AND    FBN.4h;C'E



         1.         Does t h e m o t t o "The l i f e of a L e g i o n
              a r y i s a life o f s o r r o w " h a v e a n y p r a c t -
                                                                                 -
              i c a l c o n s e q , u e n c e s i n my l i f e ? Docs it         -
              g i v e me a n i d e a l , b u t o n l y i n w o r d ,  and
              n o t h i n g m o r e ? D o e s i t make me d r a w h a c k
              a n d d o u b t my v o c a t i o n ?
         2.         Do I o n l y t h i n k o f m o r t i f i c a t i o n a s --
              t h e n e g a T i v e p a r t o f my p r i e s t l y v o c a t i o n
              o r a s one o f t h e most e f f e c t i v e m e a n s           of
              s h o w i n g my l o v e f o r C h r i s t , f o r t h e L e g -
              i o n a n d f o r a l l men?
         3.         Why d o I m o r t i f y m y s e l f    --  f o r f u n ? Do
              I d o it b e c a u s e i t h a s b e e n i m p r e s s e d up-
              o n m e o f t e n i n my f o r m a t i o n , b e c a x s e     it
              i s one o f t h o p r i n c i p l e r e q u i r e m c : ~ t s o f
              my surrender t o G o d , o r b e c a u s e I am c a n -
              vinced o f i t s n e c e s s i t y ? Through i t , d o I
              t r y t o a l w a y s k e e p a s e n s i t i v e s p i r i t ? Do
              I deny myself b e c a u s e I want t o form my-
              self a s a s u i t a b l e instrument for t h e -
              c a u s e o f t h e Kingdom?
         4.        Have I a n e x c e s s i v e t e n d e n c y t o w a r d s
              c o m f o r t b r p l e a s u r e ? Do I c o u n t c r z c t t h i s
      i n a n y way?
5.          Rave I a g r e a t f e a r o f s a c r i f i c e ? D o I
      i n s t i n c t i v e l y f l e e f r o m w h a t e v e r h u r t s my
      own w e l - 1 - b e i n g b n a n y way?
6.         Do I l o o k f o r e v e r y k i n d o f c o m f o r t a n d
      t r y t o make s u r e t h a t I l a c k n o t h i n g , w i t . h
      t h e excuse t h a t I have permission?
7.        90 I m o r t i f y m y s e l f , s u b m i t t i n g m y s e l f
      t o c o m m u n i t y l i f e w i t h t h e g r e a t e e t f i d e-l
      ity?
8.          Do I e v e r w o r r y a b o u t p r a c t i s i n g t h e    -
      vow o f p o v e r t y , w h i c h o b 1 , i g e s me a l w a y s    -
      t o s e e k t h e p o o r e s t and lowest i n cvery-
      t h i n g ? Do I make s m a l l , b u t l o v i n g a n d           -
      c o s t l y s a c r i f i c e s t h r o u g h o u t thc day?
9.         Do I m o r t i f y my m e n t a l f a c u l t i e s , k e e p       '


      i n g s t r i c t c o n t r o l of my i m a g i n a t i o n , of-
      my memory, o f my s e n t i m e n t s a n d a f f e c t i o n ?
10.        Can I s a y t h a t a s far a s I am c o n c e r n -
      e d , t h e r e a r e n o f r i e n d s h i p s or p e r s o n a l
      enmities?
11.         Do I c o n t r o l my c u r i o s i t y ? D o I rest-
      r i c t my g l a n c e s , s o a s n o t t o s e e u s e l e s s
      t h i n g s and t h u s g a i n s e l f - c o n t r o l when        -
      faced w i t h danger?
12.       Do I make a n y m o r t i f i c a t i o n a t meals,
      a s t h e norm s a y s ?
13.        Do I p r a c t i s e p a t i e n c e b e c a u s e I w a n t
      t o l e a ~ n h e sweetness of Jesus, s o t h a t ,
                    t
      $?hen my t i m e o f a p o s t o l a t e c o m e s , n o t e v e n
                                                                                    f
                                                                                    _
                                                                                   i l


      o n e s o u l w i l l b e l o s t a s a r e s u l t of       my
1
I
     14.
            impatience and hardness?
                  Do I a l l o w m y s e l f t o h e c a r r i e d a w a y
            by i m p a t i e n c e when f a c e d w i t h d i f f i c u l t -
3           i e s , o r by d i s c o u r a g e m e n t when- c o n f r o n t e d
            by t r i a l s , o r b y p h y s i c a l a n d m o r a l s z f f -
            erinas?-
     15.         Do I g e t a n n o y e d w i t h myseif, w i t h my
            f a u l t s , temptations, i n c l i n a t i o n s and -
            tendencies?
     16..     Do I b e a r t h e w e a k n e s s e s a n d f r a i l t i e s
        o f my n e i g h b o u r p a t i e n t l y ?  Do I p u t        up
        w i t h his r u d e n e s s a n d c a r e l e s s n e s s , h i s     -
        temperament which c l a s h e s w i t h mine, h i s
        scorn o r disrespect, or.even h i s possible
        hatred?
     17.       Am I a l s o c h a r i t a b l e - w h e n e v e r I h a p ~ e n
           t o be i n b a d I ~ u m o u r ?
    18.          Do I o v e r c o m e my l a z i n e s s a n d w e a k n e s s
                                                                             -
           a l w a y s k c e p i n g a n e n e r g e t i c a n d a l e r t att
           i t u d e t o w a r d s e v e r y t h i n g which c o u l d h e l p
           my i n t e g r a l f o r m a t i o n ? .
    19.        What d o I t h i n k o f t h e p e n a n c e o r d e r -
          e d b y t h e R u l e s ? Have I e v e r c o n s i d e r e d       -
          it as s o m e t h i n g s u p e r f l u o u s , a s s o m e t h i n g
          t h a t t h e constitutions suggest but do not
        . e x p l i c i t l y o r d e r ? Have I t h o u g h t o f i t -
         y e t a n o t h e r d u t y , w h i c h i s i m p o s e d on m e
         b y my p o s i t i o n a s a r e l i g i o u s c o n s e c r a t e d
         t o making r e p a r a t i o n t o t h e Sacred H e a r t
         of Jesus?
    ?O,.       I n w h a t s p i r i t d o I c a r r y out' p e n a n c e s
           --the   s p i r i t of t h e . f o u r t h r u l e . o f p e r -
      f e c t i o n , t h a t is r e p a r a t i o n and g l o r i f i c -
      a t i o n o f t h e S a c r e d H e z r t ? Do I d o i t t o
      o b t a i n g r a c e s o f h o l i n e s s f o r m y s e l f and
      f o r my L e g i o n a r y b r o t h e r s , so t h a t God may
      g i v e me H i s grace i n t e m p t a t i o n ,         for sin
      n e r s , f o r no o t h e r r e a s o n t h a n t o a t t r a c - i
      t h e a t t e n t i o n a n d n o t i c e of t h e s u p e r i o r s ? .
21.      Is t h e s a n c t i f i c a t i o n and p r o g r e s s    of
      my M o t h e r , t h e L e g i o n , ' t h e p r i n c i p l e i -
                                                                       n
      tention of my sacrifices, penances and                          -
      mortification?           ,
                                             30. SELF     DENIAL




1.         As f a r a s I am c o n c e r n e d ,      i s s e l f den-
      ial    n o t ,-nly t h e k e y t o f e r v c u r , h u t a l s o
      the    o n l y way t o b e a C h r i s t i a n a c c o r d i n g
      to t   h e G o s p e l ? Have I r e a l i s e d t h a t I c a-   n
      not    be a L e g i o n a r y w i t h o u t i t ?
2.           Have I y e t b e e n b r a v e e n o u g h t o r e a l l y
       f a c e t h e p r o b l e m o f t o t a l s e l f - d e n i a l ? Am
       I a f r a i d -that t o t a k e t h i s s t e p , t h u s - l i v
       i n g w i t h o u t c o m i n g t o a d e c i s i o n a b o u t it?
       !-iave I d e c i d e d t o make a n a l l - o u t e f f o r t
     ' l a t e r on1 ?
3.          Is t h e r e a n y t h i n g p a r t i c u l a r which I
      h a v e n o t g i v e n up y e t , and which I d o n o t
      want t o g i v e u p ? What i s it?
4.         Khen I g i v e m y s e l f e n e r g e t i c a l l y t o -
     t h e p r a c t i s e of self-denial, docs i t help
       e
     m t o t h i n k t h a t t h r o u g h it I t r a n s f o r m
     m y s e l f i n t o C h r i s t a n d c a n m e r i t t h e name
     o f C h r i s t i a n a n d c o - r e d e e m e r ? Do I r e m e m -
     b e r t h a t i t i s t h e o n l y way I c a n p r o p e r -
     l y f u l f i l l t h e p r o m i s e I mzdc when I t o o k
     my v o w s ? I s t h i s only a m e n t a l c o n ~ z p t , o r
     h a v e I already p u t i t i;:to p r a c t i s e ?
5.         Do 1 b r a v e l y l o o k f o r t h i n g s t h a t a n n -
      o y me? Do I d o t h i s f o r l o v e o f C h r i s t ?
      On t h e c o n t r a r y , d o I s h o w a n n o y a n c e a n d
      i m p a t i e n c e when t h i n g s g o w r o n g f o r me?         -
      Is d o i n g what I l i k e b e s t , and s h u n n i n g            -
      w h a t e v e r d i s a g r e e s w i t h me, my r u l e o f     -
      life?
6.          Am I a w a r e t h a t t h e p r i m a r y m e a n s o f     -
      d e n y i n g m y s e l f i s t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f my   -
      duty, o r , not taking t h i s i n t o account,do
      1 look f o r s a c r i f i c e s i n various other               --
      fields?
7.          Do I o v e r c o m e m y s e l f i n w h a t I s e e ,     -
      keeping f i r m c o n t r o l and t a k i n g minute               -
      c a r e ? Do I k e e p t h e s a m e w a t c h o v e r my        -
      t h o u g h t s and o v e r t h e s e n s e o f t o u c h , - o r
      a n I c u r i o u s , t h u s p u t t i n g p u r i t y i n dan
                                                                      -
      g e r ? I n t h i s c o n t e x t , do I c o n t r o l d a n g e r
      o u s memories and m e n t a l images?
8.          If t h e s u p e r i o r s s h o u l d s l a c k e n t h e i r
      c a r e a n d v i g i l a n c e o v e r my l i f e , w o u l d   -
      t h i s h a v e n o o t h e r e f f e c t t h a n t o m a k e me
      i n c r e a s e my p e r s o n a l e f f o r t ? On t h e o t h e r
      hand, would I l o s e a l l I had g a i n e d , o w i n g
      t o t h e f a c t t h a t it had been gained n o t
      f r o m my own e f f o r t , b u t a s a r e s u l t o f         -
      p r e s s u r e from o t h e r s ?
9.       H o w d o I g e t o n d u r i n g o u t i n g s ? Am          I
      modest? Am I a l s o c h a r i t a b l e ?
10.        Do I f o r g e t c h a r i t y d u r i n g g e m e s ? Do I
      disregard respect for superiors o r purity
      o f i n t e n t i o n ? Do I r e m e m b e r t o c o n t r o l my
      d e s i r e t o always be t h e winner?
        11.   Have I t h e h a b i t o f m a k i n g s a c r i f i c e s
           during meals?
        12.         Do I make t h e s a c r i f i c e o f h a v i n g          --
              e v e r y t h i n g i n o r d e r ? Do I a p p l y t h i s to
              my r o o m , t o t h e u s e o f t i m e , t o my i n t e r -
              nal faculties?
        13.         Do I k e e p a s t r o n g a f f e c t i o n t o w a r d s      -
              a n y m a t e r i a l t h i n g ? What i s my r e a c t i o n         -
              when s o m e t h i n g i s t a k e n from m e         --   o n e of
              humble c o n f o r m i t y , o f a n n o y a n c e , o r o f      -
              c o m p l e t e d e p r e s s i o n ? What h a p p e n s when        I
              a given something I l i k e
               m                                          --      do I brim ov
              e r w i t h e n t h u s i a s m ? Am I i n t h e h a b i t o f -
                c l o s e l y a n d h o n e s t l y e x a m i n i n g my f e e l -
              ings towards what I use?
        14.         D o - I v e r y o f t e n n e e d a word o f encc:r-
          . a g e m e n t t o k e e p me g o i n g a h e a d ,    o r is the
              v o i c e o f my c o n s c i e n c e e n o u g h f o r a e , c o u p
              l e d w i t h t h e power of a w i l l c o m p l e t e l y -
              s u r e o f i t s commitment?
        15.         Do I s u f f e r f r o m b i g e m o t i o n a l d e p ~ e s s
              i o n s ? Do I a l l o w m y s e l f t o b e l e a d w i t -        x
              o u t a s t r u g g l e i n w h a t e v e r d i r e c t i o n my    -
              s e n t i m e n t a l i t y c a r r i e s me? A m I i n c a p a b l e
    I   16.
              o f overcoming melancholy?
                    When I am s u c c e s s f u l , d o I r e a l l y    l e t
I             m y s e l f g o ? When t h i n g s g o w e l l , d o e s t h e
!3
I
I
              w h o l e w o r l d s e e m t o b e l o n g t o m e ? I n mor-
              e n t s l i k e t h i s , do I t r y t o t a k e a v e r y
              supernatural a t t i t u d e , crushing any sent-
              iments which t e n d towards p r i d e o r v a n i t y ?
        17.       When I f a i l , when t h i n g s g o b a d l y , d o e s
I   I
          my whole world collapse? Do I conclude -
          that I an good for nothing, that I am a
          complete.failure, or that I have no voc-
          3tion? On the contrary, do I suppress my
          sorrow and disappointment, my sadness and
          self-love by a new effort for victory? Is
          the fact of renewing my purity of intent-
          ion enough to restore my peace of mind?
          All in all, does my life follow the firm
          and straight course of the will, or the
          constantly-changing motion of thc senti-
          ments?
    18.    Do I usually'tell my troubles to my
        fellow brother.^, or am I the only one who
        knows about my problems? Is this because
        I am naturally shy, or do I want to deny
        myself in this aspect? Do I see any pro-
/       gress in ray efforts to control my chang-
        ing sentiments?
                   -   .

    19.    Do I think that all the trials and dis-
        couragement I feel are simply "trials          -
        from God" , or dc I carefully analyse          -
        them to see whether in fact they come          -
        from my own infidelity? In any case,can I
        withstand- them energetically, not reduc-
        ing my Legionary life to a constant ser-
        ies of complaints and regrets?
    20.   Do I wil'lingly offer God my troubles?
       Does the fact that my sufferings console
       Christ comfort me? Do I practise the        -
       fourth rule of perfection in all these          -
      .trials? -
    21.      Do I make the effort to carry out the
          orders which are naturally pleasing t o me
                                               C
      with s u p e ~ n a t u r a ls p i r i t ? W h e n I d o n ' t
      u n d e r s t a n d a3 o r d e r , d o I g o o n t h i n k i n g
                                                                         -
      t h e o p p o s i t e t o > ? h a t . t h e s u p e r i o r mezns ?
      Do 1 m a k e a n e f f o r t t o g e t o b e d i e n c e c f
      u n d e r s t a n d i n g ? When a n o r d e r t h w a r t s my
 '    p l a n s , my p e r s o n a l l i k e s o r my s e l f - l o v e ,
      d o I r a i s e o b j e c t i o n s , b e c o m e a n g r y 3r -
      r e u e l o u t w a r d l y o r i n w a r d l y ? Do I q u e s t -
      i o n and c r i t i c i s c t h e o r d e r b e f o r e obey           -
      i n g i t ? Do I o b e y p r o m p t l y , h u t o n l y o u t -
      w a r d l y , s h o w i n g my d i s a g r e e m e n t w i t h t h e
      s u p e r i o r o n l y i n t h e d e p t h s o f my s o u l ?
      On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I w e l c o m e t h e b e a u-      t
      i f u l sacrifice of disregarding a l l                        my
      f e e l i n g s s o a s t o o f f e r t h e m t o God a s a
      really costly sacrifice?
22.         Does t h e u s u a l c z l m a n d p e a c e o f   soul
      I enjoy c h a n g e s u d d e n l y i f I a r e m o v e d -
                                                    m
      f r o m a n o f f i c e I h o l d ? Do I f e e l c o m p l e t -
      e l y d i s i n t e r e s t e d about t h i s as long a s
      t h e r e i s n o d a n g e r o f my l o s i n g i t , y e t ,
      a t t h e same time, d o I d o e v e r y t h i n g i n
      my power t o ensure t h a t t h i s d o e s n o t
      happen?
                                                                        -
23,         Do I l i v e t h e s a c r i f i c e o f w o r k i n g      -
      o n l y f o r God, w i t h o u t c l a i m i n g m c n s '   es-
      teem as p a y m e n t f o r my e f f o r t s ? .
24.         Do I n a t u r a l l y r e j e c t a l l j u d g e m e n t s
      w h i c h n e i t h e r come f r o m God (i.e. f r o m m             y
                                                     y
      r i g h t c o n s c i e n c e ) n o r from m s u p e r i o r s ?
      Does t h i s s t e m from t h e knowledge I h a v e
      o f m y s e l f , which i s s o i m p a r t i a l t h a t t h e
      v e r y i d e a o f p r a i s e c o n f u s e s me, s i n c e      I
      s e e i t a s t o t a l l : u n m e r i t e d o n my p a r t ?
25.      When I see that others look up to me,
      do I think of my real limitations a.nd.my
      inability to cope with the many aspects
      in which I am, at most, a hindrence to        -
      God?
26.      Has all this permeated my entire. being
      to such an extent that, with Christ, I        -
      prefer humiliation and insignificance in
      mens1 eyes?
27.      To obtain this, do I try to keep my
      affairs in the background? Do I speak         -
      much about myself? Do I do this t d i m a k e
      a good impression? Do I take advantage of
      every opportunity to show off whenever I
      can attract attention or congratul'ati.nns,
      though this may be a mere formality?
28.    Have I already learned to taka a n . u n -
    merited.correction or accusation~without
    trying to justify myself, or wouli.!i.it    -
    simply kill me to hold my tongue'in'such
                                                -
    a situation? Have I an i n e x h a u s t i b l e
    store of e x c u s e s , so,that I'm always the
                        ,
    "innocent partyv1 always the one m$s        -
    understood by the superiors? D o . 1 take..
    the liberty of telling them that their
    rebukes o f . m y conduct are not'realistic'.
    indirectly accusing them of ill-will t.0-
    wards me, or of being unable to judg6.-
    "the complexity of my personality1' 3
25,    Has envy ever crept into my life,        -
    without completely dominating it? Have I
    fostered it and helped it on? Have I G
    completely twisted vision of the actions
      of any particul2.r Brother, which, accord-
      i n g l y , i n t c : r p r e t s a l l ha d o c s a s m a l i c       -
      i o u s , i n t e n d e d p u r s l y t o a n n o y me?
30.          When I s e e s o m e o n e d o i n g L e t t e r t h a n            -
      myself, have I s u f f i c i e n t g e n e r o s i t y t o
      b e h a p p y a b o u t i t ? When I s e e thc? p o s s i b - ,
      i l i t y o f my b e i n g p l a c e d i n a l o w e r p o s i-  t
      i o n t h a n someone e l s e , d o I o p p o s e and
      b e l i t t : % e h i m i n f r o n t o f o t h e r s ? Do I d o
 .    t h i s openly,, o r i n a s u b t l e and t r e a c h e r -
      o u s way? Do I a t l e a s t h e a p s c o r n o n h i m
      i n my own m i n d i n o r d e r t o g e t s a t i s f a c t -
      i o n ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , am I t h e f i r s t t o
      p r a i s e a n d e n c o u r a g e him?
31.         A m T s t r o n g e n o u g h to, d i s m j - s s my own
      i n t e r e s t s i n t h e c a s e of something which
      i s p l e a s i n g t o m e b u t u n p l e a s a n t t o --
      others?          A m I t o o weak t o d o t h i s ?
3.
 2.         Am I c o n s c i o u s o f t h e n e e d f o r m a k i n g
      t h o s e a r o u n d me h a p p y , e v e n when t h i s          -
      m e a n s g i v i n g s e c o n d p l a c e t o nly own l i k -
      i n g s and i n t e r e s t s ?
33.         How d o I g o a b o u t d o i n g f a v o u r s      for
      others      --   d o I work i n a r e a l l y h i d d e n              -
      w a y , o r I n s u c h a way t h a t t h e s e " h i d d e n f f
      good d c e d s a r e s e e n by o t h e r s and t h u s -
      a t t r a c t d o u b l e p r a i s e ? Am I u n a b l e t o -
      k e e p my g o o d a c t i o n s s e c r e t ?
34.         D o I l i k e a n n o y i n g o t h e r s ? When         any
      a f my f e l l o w - b r o t h e r s ' a t t i t u d e s d i s a g r e e
      w i t h mine, d o I g e t a n g r y a n d u p s e t ? Does
      s o m e t h i n g l i k e t h i s b o t h e r me f o r d a y s
                                  e
      on e n d , making m b e a r a g r u d g e ?
35.         Have I a l r e a d y f o r m e d o p i n i o n s o f my
      b r o t h e r s according t o whether o r n o t they
      a g r e e w i t h me a n d d o w h a t s u i t s me?
36.         A m I p r e p a r e d t o a d j u s t my c r i t e r i a t o
      s u i t o t h e r s , o r do I t h i n k t h a t t o y i e l d
      i n t h i s a s p e c t would b e t o " b e t r a y t h e          -
      t r u t h " ? Do I r e g a r d m y s e l f a s i n f a l l -
      i b l e t o some e x t e n t ?
37.         Am I s t u b b o r n i n a r g u m e n t s i n s u c h a
      way t h a t I c a n s t a n d up t o a n y o n e whose
      o p i n i o n s d i f f e r f r o m m i n e , u s i n g t h e pow
      e r o f e m o t i o n r a t h e r t h a n r e a s o n ? Does ?t
      o f t e n h a p p e n t h a t my o p i n i o n s a r e a t v a r -
      i e n c e w i t h t h e unanimous o p i n i o n o f a l l
      t h e o t h e r s ? Do I g o a g a i n s t t h e o p i n i o n s
      o f o t h e r s as a m a t t e r o f c o u r s e , p u r e l y
      out of habit?
38.        Have I e n o u g h c o n t r o l o f my t h o u g h t s
      and b e h a v i o u r t c overcome t h e s e t e n d e n c -
      i e s and g i v e i n q u i c k l y and amiably?
39.        When c e r t a i n t o p i c s a p p e a l t o o t h e r s
      a t a p a r t i c u l a r moment b u t n o t t o me, d o
      I c o n t r o l m y s e l f ? Do I a l s o s u r p r e s s my
      human r e s p e c t t o s p e a k o p e n l y a b o u t C h r i s t
      t h e L e g i o n a n d s o u l s ? Have I e n o u g h c o u r -
      a g e t o d o t h i s a l w a y s a n d i n a n y company?
40.         Am I constantly i n t h e company o f                    -
      t h o s e I g e t on w e l l w i t h , t h u s f o r m i n g a n
                                                                         -
      e x c l u s i v e l i t t l e ' c l i q u e ' w i t h i n t h e comm
      unity?
41.         Do I o f f e r t h e a n n o y a n c e I f e e l t o w a r d
      t h o s e who a r e n a t u r a l l y d i s a g r e e a b l e t o

                                -   124
      m e a s a s a c r i f i c e t o C h r i s t , o r i s it i m -
      p o s s i b l e t o p e r s u a d e me t o s p e n d e v e n t e n
      m i n u t e s w i t h p e o p l e who a r e l i k e t h a t ? I f
      I f e e l o b l i g e d t o s p e n d some t i m e i n        -
      t h e i r c o m p a n y , d o my b e a r i n g , a i m l e s s    -
      w o r d s o r g e n e r a l s i l e n c e b e t r a y my b a d    -
      f e e l i n g ? Do I t r y t o h e l p t h o s e who a n n o y
      me?
42.         How d o I m a n a g e i n t h e f i g h t t o o v e r -
      come i m p a t i e n c e  --    d o e s i t come a n d g o ,           .
      w i t h o u t a n y e f f o r t on my p a r t t o bring i t
      u n d e r c o n t r o l ? Does t h i s l a c k o f p a t i e n c e
      f o r c e m e t o g o a g a i n s t my d u t i e s a n d r e -
      s o l u t i o n s , s i n c e I a m unable t o , o v e r c o m e
      i t w i t h e n e r g y ? Do I w a s t e t h e b e s t p a r t
      o f my t i m e and e f f o r t s g ' e t t i n g a n n o y e d a t
      s t u p i d details a n d t h e n t r y i n g t o r e g a i n
      my c o m p o s u r e ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I e x -
      t i n g u i s h even t h e mental o u t b u r s t s o f           -
      i m p a t i e n c e a n d -an-ger b y - a f i r m d e c i s i o n
      o f d e d i c a t i o n t o my w o r k a n d h a r m o n y in      -
      my f a c u l t i e s ?
43.         D u r i n g g a m e s , d o I o v e r c o m e t h e weak -
      p o i n t s o f my t e m p e r a m e n t : if I a m t h e do&]
      inciting type,do I supress c r i t i c i s m , f a u l ~
      f i n d i n g 'lnd a n n o y a n c e ; i f I a m t i m i d , d o
      I s u p r e s s i r o n i c j o k e s , s a d n e s s and de-
      sire f o r r e v e n g e ?
44.         Do I know how t o t a k e v i c t o r y w i t h d i g
      n i t y , o r am I a n u n d i s c i p l i n e d b o o r when=
      e v e r I w i n ? Do I know how t o t a k e d e f e a t
      i n a n o b l e way, o r d o I g e t a n g r y , a g r e s s
      i v e o r s a d a s a r e s u l t ? D o e s i t c o s t me        a
      l o t t o play i n an unimportant p o s i t i o n ?
      When I ' m n o t g i v e n f u l l a t t e n t i o n , d o I -
      l o s e i n t e r e s t a n d d o s o m e t h i n g e l s e ? Do I
      s t a r t c o m p l a i n i n g ? How d o I c o n t r o l my -
      s p e e c h d u r i n g t h e game -- a r e my w o r d s         -
      a i m e d a t e n c o u r a g i n g t h e o t h e r s o r a t mak
      i n g f u n o f t h e m a n d c r i t i c i s i n g t h e m ? 1f-
      t h i n g s d o n ' t go w e l l f o r m e , do I p l a y        -
      r o u g h l y and c a r e l e s s l y ?
45.         When I n o t i c e s o m e t h i n g w h i c h i n t e r e s t s
      me a n d a r o u s e s my c u r i o s i t y , d o I c o n t r o l
      m y s e l f , o r d o I l e t m y s e l f be c a r r i e d a w -
      a y ? Do I t a k e a c a l m a n d s e r i o u s a t t i t u d e
      towards a l l t r i f l i n g c u r i o s i t y , o r do I
      g i v e myself concessions o f t h i s kind,know                   -
      i n g t h e i r p o s s i b l e e f f e c t s on t h e i n t e g -
      r i t y o f my w i l l a n d i n t e r i o r l i f e ?
46.         Am I m a s t e r o f m y s e l f a t t a b l e , i n a
      n a t u r a l a n d d i g n i f i e d way? Do I a l l o w my-
      s e l f t o b e r u l e d by my s e n s e s , t o t h e -
      p o i n t o f b e i n g u n m a n n e r l y ? Do I a l w a y s
      make some s a c r i f i c e , a t l e a s t i n s o f a r a s
      I observe the r u l e s of politeness perfect
      l y ? I f I d e c i d e t o make some s a c r i f i c e a 7
      t a b l e , am I c a p a b l e o f c a r r y i n g i t o u t
      afterwards?
      1.         Am I a l w a y s a w a r e t h a t t h e i n e s c a p a b l e
           o b l i g a t i o n of my s t a t e a s a L e g i o n a r y     is
           t h e d u t y o f s t r i v i n g f o r p e r f e c t i o n ? Am I
           fully c o n v i n c e d t h a t I h a v e e m b r a c e d      the
           v o c a t i o n of b e i n g a s a i n t , a s a i n t       form-
I          e d by many s m a l l t h i n g s a c c o m p l i s h e d w i t h
           p e r f e c t i o n ? Has t h i s r e a l o b l i g l t i o n t h e
           f o r c e o f l a w i n my r e l i g i o u s l i f e , o r d o
           I n o t f o l l o w my v o c a t i o n - i n t h i s a s p e c t ?
      2.      1 s my w o r k f o r p e r f e c t i o n b a s e d o n          a
           burning d e s i r e t o imitate Christ?
r1
:Lf   3.         Do I r e v i s e t h e R u l e s o f . ~ e r f e c t i o n-
           o f t e n ? Do I m e d i t a t e o n t h e m ?
      4.       Do I u s u a l l y d o t h i n g s w i t h p e r f e c t i o n
           o r d o , J . k e e p t o t h e s t a n d a r d o f l1 n ~ o r eo r
           less" 3          .
      5.         Does t h i s L e g i o n a r y p r i n c i p l e s e e n      t o
           me " p r a c t i c a l l y l a c k i n g i n i n p o r t a n c c " ,
           s u p e r f l u o ~ s ,o r o n l y f o r s c r u p u l o u s s o u l s ?
           On t h e c o n t r a r y , i s i t , i n my o p i n i o n , a
           m a n i f e s t a t i o n of my t e n d e r l o v e f o r         -
           C h r i s t , o f my d e s i r e t o p l e a s e a n d i m i -
           t a t e H i m , t h e One who " d i d e v e r y t h i n g          -
          well" ?
    6.        Why d o t h i n g s g o b a d l y f o r m e       -- be         -
          cause o f l a c k o f a t t e n t i o n , s e l f - d e n i a l ,
          o r s a c r i f i c e ? 'Because o f l a z i n e s s ?
    7.       Do I d o t h i n g s i n a n y way a t a l l , w i t -
                                                                  h               .
          out worrying myself about i t ?
    6.       Do .I d o t h e b i g t h i n g s w i t h p e r f e c t i o n
          Do I a l s o d o t h e s m a l l t h i n g s w e l l ?
    9.       On t h i s p o i n t , i s my l i f e c o n t r o l l e d        -
          by what I l i k e b e s t ?
    10.      Am I o n l y i n t e r e s t e d i n w h a t p l e a s e s       -
          me, o r i n t h i n g s f r o m w h i c h I c a n d e r i v e


I
    11.
          some p r o f i t , a n d n o t h i n g e l s e ?
                ~ v e n f I d o n o t d o t h i n g s b a d l y , i s my
                       i
          love n o t a r d e n t o r d e l i c a t e enough t o          --
                                                                                      R
    12.
          d r a w me o n t o w h a t i s m o r e p e r f e c t ?
                H3ve I formed a h a b i t o f p e r f e c t i o n i n
                                                                                      I-1
                                                                                      L.- d

          t h e d e t a i l s -- c l o s i n g a b o o k , s t a m p i n g a
          l e t t e r , s h u t t i n g a door e t c . ?
    13.         Am I aware t h a t t h e s e o r d i n a r y l i t t l e
          t h i n g s , done f o r l o v e o f C h r i s t , a r e t h e
          o n e s w h i c h b u i l d up my r e l i g i o u s p e r f e c t -
     s    i o n a n d g i v e me t h e L e g i o n ' s f a m i l y      -
          spirit?
                                         3 . MAN
                                          2           OF THE KlhrGDO,%f




          1.         I s my b a s i c , p r i m a r y c o n c e p t o f t h e     -
               Kingdom o f C h r i s t t h a t o f a l l men l i v i n g
!              t h e l i f e o f g r a c e , o r h a v e I come t o a             -
               c l e a r r e a l i s a t i o n o f what t h e s e words           -
               mean?
    I     2.         D o e s J e s u s C h r i s t r e i g n i n me t h r o u g h
               s a n c t i f y i n g grace? Dc I u n d e r s t a n d         that
               t h i s i s t h e e s s e n t i a l c o n d i t i -o n- o f m y
                                                             -
                                                                              -
               fight for the            Kingdom?
          3.         D o e s i t i m p r e s s m e t o t h i r k o f t h e num
               b e r o f p l a c e s in which C h r i s t d o e s n o t -
                                                                                  -
    3          y e t r e i g n , of the a l m o s t i n f i n i t e number
               o f t h o s e who d o n ' t know H i m , a n d h a t e q i m ?
               D o e s t h i s move me t o s u r r e n d e r my l i f e -
               w i t h e n - l r g y a n d c o n s t a n c y , o r am I i n c o n -
               s t a n t and s h a l l o w , o n l y r o u s e d t o c n t h u s -
               i a s m frcm t i m e t o t i m e , w i t h o u t t h i s h a v -
    I     4.
               i n g a n y p r a c t i c a l r e s u l t s i n my l i f e ?
                     Do a t h e r t h i n g s i n t e r e s t m e b e s i d e s -.
               p r o m o t i n g t h e Kingdon of C h r i s t -- a r t ,
               l i t e r a t u r e , philosophy, o r even theology?
          5.       Do I f e e l a n g u i s h w h e n I t h i n k . o f      the
    --I
       uselessness o f many o f C h r i s t ' s            suffer                               -
       i n g s ? D o e s t h i s move m e t o a p e r s o n a l                                 -
       and a b s o l u t e s u r r e n d e r , t o a s i n c e r e e f f -
       o r t t o make r e p a r a t i o n , o r t o c o m p l e t e                             -
       read'iness f o r action?
6.            Have I s i n c e r e l y c o n s e c r a t e d my w h o l e
        l i f e t o b u i l d t h i s Kingdom i n myse!-f a n d
       i n t h e r e s t o f m a n k i n d by m e a n s o f t o t a l
       dedication?
7   .. c o r rHaveo nI d p te o s tohn ea l i n nt et er e es st st s o w hCchhr i hs at ?r d Dl d
               esp
                              r               i          r
                                                                        f
                                                                           i                     y

       I b e l i e v e t h a t I w i l l be a b l e t o k e e p                             -
       t h e m a l l my l i f e ?
8.           Has t h e o f t - r e p e a t e d m o t t o " Y o u r King-
       d o m Come!" a n y m e a n i n g o n my l i p s and' i n
       my h e a r t , o r h a s i t s m e a n i n g b e e n O ~ S C U P - .
       ?d b y r o u t i n e o r i n s i n c e r i t y ? Does i t -
       s c r v c a s a c o n s t a n t impetus and encourag-
       e m e n t f o r me?
3.           D o e s i t e n c o u r a g e me t o t h i n k t h a t m y
       b a t t l e ' s a n d my s a c r i f i c e s h a s t e n t h e . c o m -
       i n g o f t h e Kingdom o f C h r i s t ?                         ..

10.         Do I I o v e t h e Kingdom s o much t h a t , . n o
       s a c r i f i c e demanded b y i t s e s t a b l i s h m e n t                            -
       seems great o r u n b e a r n B l e ?                                            I


11.      I f , a t t h e p r e s e n t m o m e n t , I a m not                               -
   making a t o t a l e f f o r t i n s t u d y , i n i n t e r -
    i o r l i f e and i n t h e p r a c t i s e of v i r t u e , d o
    I l i v e with t h e i l l u s i o n t h a t I w i l l do
    s o a t some f u t u r e d a t e ? Do I c u l t i v a t e                                    -
   c h a r i t y a s t h e weapon i n t h e f i g h t f o r t h e
   Kingdom, a s C h r i s t d e m a n d s ?
12.         A m I a c o n s t a n t f i g h t e r i n all c i r c u m -
      s t a n c e s , always s e e k i n g p r a y e r and s a c r i -
      f i c e s o as t o f i g h t e f f e c t i v e l y f o r t h e
      Kingdom?
13.         Do I l e a r n t h e c o m p l e t e s u r r e n d e r    -
      w h i c h t h e a p o s t o l a t e w i l l derna..d b y      s u r-r
      e n d e r i n g m y s e l f now w i t h u n l i m i t e d s e l f -
      denial?
14.        Do I f o r m m y h e a r t l i k e t h e h e a r t o f
      an a p o s t l e , with t h e l o v e and g e n t l e n e s s
      of C h r i s t - s h e a r t , o r i s mine dominating
      a n d s e l f - c e n t r e d ? Do I s h a r e t h e   ideals
      of C h r ' i s t ' s h e a r t , as r e d e e m e r and c o n - .
      queror?
15.        Do I t a k e a n i n t e r e s t i n t h e m e t h o d s
      a n d s p i p i t o f t h e L e g i o n , a s my h e s t          -
      w e a p o n s j n t h e f i g h t for- t h e ! < i n g d o r ; ~ ?Do
      I l i v e them w i t h complete f i d e l i t y ?
16.      Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t t h e c a u s e o f t h e
      Kingdom d o e s n o t a d v a n c e f r o n t h e moment
      my s u r r e n d e r i s n o t t o t a l ?
17.         I s my w o r k p u r e L y n a t u r a l ? I s i t mere
      action, without i n t e r i o r l i f e , without                 -
      i n t i n a t a u n T o n w i t h C h r i s t ? Do I u n d e r -
      s t a n d t h e a b s o l u t e uselessness o f t h i s                -
      mode o f p r . o c e d u r e i n e s t a h l i s h i . n g t h e ' -
      K i n g d o m ? Do I n o t i c e t h a t I h a v e a r e a l l y
      g r e a t d e s i r e t o s h o w o f f a n d j u s t i f y my-
      s e l f i n my w o r k ?
18.      A m I a n e n t h u s i a s t i c b e g i n n e r , o r am I
      always p e s s i m i s t i c and u n h e l p f u l ?
19-       Have I t h o u g h t o v e r t h e f a c t t h a t          an
      a t t i t u d e o f indolence and l a z i n e s s , e v e n
      now, b u t much m o r e s o t o m o r r o w , i s a b e -
      t r a y a l of C h r i s t , a scandel f o r t h e f a i t- h
      f u l and one o f t h e enemy's b e s t weapons?
2C.         Do I n e v e r t h i n k o f my r e s p o n s i b i l i t y
      w i t h i n t h e M y s t i c a l Body, o r , a t b e s t , d o
      I t h i n k o f i t i n a " p o e t i c 1 ' way? D o e s t h e
      t h o u g h t t h a t s o many s o u l s a r e l o s t make
      me f e e l t o t a l l y c o m m i t t e d ? Do I t h i n k    -
      t h a t t h e e s t a b l i s h m e n t o f t h e Kingdom i s
      something s t r i c t l y p e r s o n a l and p r i v a t e ,
      o r d o I f e e l c l o s e l y b o u n d t o my b r o t h e r s ?
21.        G o e s human r e s p e c t s t o p m e f r o m w o r k -
      i n g h a r d ? Does i t h i n d e r t h e p e r f e c t i o n
      o f my work, o r m a k e me w o r k b a d l y ?
22.         Do I t h i n k I c a n b e f a i t h f u l t o C h r i s t
      In    t h e c o m i n g f i g h t f o r t h e Kingdom a n d
      i n my a p o s t o l a t e ? Have I g o f t h e h a b i t s
      cf u n i o n w i t h H i m a n d f i d e l i t y t o H i s .
      -o v e , a n d t h a t o f h a t r e d a n d a v o i d a n c e o f
      l
      sin, t o s u c h a n e x t e n t t h a t w i t h H i s        -
      g r a c e I c a n overcome even t h e most h o s t -
      i l e atmospheres?
23.         Have I e n t h u s i a s m f o r t h e Kingdom, f o r

                                                                    --
      t h e p e r s o n of C h r i s t , f o r H i s d o c t r i n e ,
      for t h e C h u r c h , f o r t h e . s a l v a t i o n , o f
      s o u l s , f o r t h e advance and h a l i n e s s o f
      t h e L e g i o n ? Have I g a i n e d t h e s e i d e a l s t o
      s u c h a n e x t e n t t h a t I c a n communicate           -
      t h e m a n d make a p o s t 1 e . s o f all t h o s e who
      come t o m e i n t h e f u t u r e ?
24.         A m I a n i d e a l i s t a s r e g a r d s my a p o s t -
      o l a t e : d o I hope t o g e t e v e r y t h i n g d o n e
      w i t h a l i t t l e o f my r h e t o r i c ? D o I b e l i e v e
      i n t h e p o s s i b i l i t y o f b e i n g a great a p o s t
      l e w i t h o u t p e r s o n a l h o i i . n e s s ? Do 1 make-
      t h i s b e l i e f a r e a l i t y by l e a d i n g a n e a s y
      l i f e , without complications?
25.          I n my l o n g i n g t o b e g i n w o r k i n g f o r t h e
      Kingdom, a         m I s p u r r e d o n b y ai>y m o t i v e o f
      v a n i t y , b y a n i m m o d e r a t e d e s i r e f o r free-
      dom o r f o r t h e g r a t i - f i c a t i o n o f my      own
      s e n s u a l i t y ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , h a v e I r e -
      a l i s e d t h a t now, i n t h e t i m e o f f a r m a t i o n
      I can be an e f f e c t i v e a p o s t l e o f t h e King
      dom w i t h o u t a n y n e e d o f g o i n g o u t s i d e ?
26.       I s t h e Kingdom o f C h r i s t t h e g r e a t e s r
            y
      b f m l o n g i n g s , my m o s t c h e r i s h e d d e s i r e
      as a L e g i o n a r y ?
                           33. LOVE FOR THE LEGION                         1
                                                                           '

                                                                           L




1.        Do I l o v e t h e L e g i o n a s t h e M o t h e r who
     h a s g i v e n me e v e r y t h i n g ?
2.         F o r t h i s r e i s o n , i s my l o v e f o r t h e -
     Legion g r a t e f u l and p r a c t i c a l ? Is it             -.
     shown i n a c o n s t a n t e f f o r t t o f o r m m y s e l f
     b e t t e r , o r do I n e v e r t h i n k a b o u t any o f
     t h e s e t h i n g s ? Am I c o n t e n t w i t h " g e t t i n g
     along1' more o r l e s s ?
3.
,
        Do I t r y t o g e t t o know o u r s p i r i t
     even i n t h e s m a l l e s t d e t a i l s ?
                                                                     -
4.         A m I e n t h u s i a s t i c a b o u t t h e Legion's
     m e t h o d s o f f o r m a t i o n a n d a p o s t o l a t e ? Do
     I t h i n k - t h e y a r e t h e most s u i t a b l e f o r    -
     me? Do 1 t h i n k t h e y a n s w e r t h e n e e d s o f
     s o u l s , and t h e Church's needs and c r i t e r -
     ia?
5.         Have I i d e n t i f i e d m y s e l f w i t h t h i s   --
     s p i r i t ? Have I a s s i m i l a t e d i t s M y s t i q u e ?
     Can I s a y t h a t I t h i n k l i k e t h e L e g i o n ,
     l o v e a s s h e d o e s , f e e l a s S h e d o e s ? Do I
     f e e l Y e s p o n s i b l e f o r t h e p l a n s God h a s
     f o r her?
6.      Do I d e s p i s e o r u n d e r r a t e a n y a s p e c t o f
     her spirituality?
7.         D o e s my p r o g r e s s i n f o r m a t i o n m a k e me
     r e g a r d m y s e l f a s exempt from s t u d y i n g h e r
     c r i t e r i a and p r a c t i s i n g h e r r u l e s ?
8.         D O I make t h e L e g i o n known a s o f t e n a s
     I c a n ? Do I make h e r r e s p e c t e d a n d e s t e e m
     e d by my c o n d u c t ? D o e s i t h u r t me t o s e e -
     h e r d e f a m e d ? Do I p r a y f o r t h o s e who p e r -
     s e c u t e h e r ? Do I d o a s much a s T c a n t o            -
     a v o i d t h i s ? Do I t h a n k G o d , who m a r k s u s
     w i t h t h e -ign o f H i s p r e d i l e c t i o n , t h a t o f
     p e r s e c u t i o n and calumny?
9.          Am I i n t e r e s t e d i n s e e i n g h e r s u p p l e -   .
     m e n t e d by many a n d h o l y . v o c a t i o n s ,     and
     g a i n i n g t h e r e s p e c t and s u p p o r t of t h e e n
     v i r o n m e n t s i n which s h e must p e r f o r m her-
     apostolate?
                                              34. SENSUS LEOIONIS




1.           Have I become a n i n t e g r a l p a r t o f t h e
       L e g i o n , a d o p t i n g i t s t h o u g h t and i t s       -
       p o i n t o f viex.r? Does t h i s a p p l y t o d e t a i l s ?
       6r i s i t v a g u e a n d g e n e r a l ?
2.           3 o e s t h i s s e e m t o me t o b e v e r y i m p o r t
       ant i n o r d e r t o a c c o m p l i s h G n d t s w i l l f o r
       me? Do I h o l d m y s e l f r e s p o n s i b l e f o r t h e
       - e a l s p i r i t of t h e Legion, even i n t h e                   -
       smallest details?
3.          Because of a 1 1 t h i s , do I t r y t o g e t
       t o know e v e r y a s p e c t o f t h e L e g i o n a r y         -
       M y s t i q u e , down t o t h e l a s t d e t a i l ? Do I
       t r y t o p u t them a l l i n t o p r a c t i s e ?
!+   . in    Have I t h e L e g i o n l s . l i t u r g i c a l " s e n s u s "
             t h e w a y I a s s i s t a t X a s s , i n t h e way I
       celebrate it, i n the decoration of the                            -
       a l t a r a n d c h a p e l , i n t h e hymns a n d m u s i c ,
       i n t h e v a r i o u s ceremonies?
5.          Have I t h e same E u c h a r i s t i c l l s e n s u s l l
      a s t h e L e g i o n ? Do I mak'e s u r e o f r e c e i v -
      i n g Holy Communion e v e r y d a y ? Do I d o i t
      w i t h g r e a t e r c o n s c i o u s n e s s o f my m o t i v e s ,
      a n d w i t h more f e r v o u r e v e r y d a y ? I s my



Sensus Legionis i.e.: thinking and acting as the legion does
         s o u l p u r e r e a c h d a y ? Do I p r e p a r e m y s c l f
         w i t h f e r v o u r ? Do I t h a n k God d u r i n g t h e       -
         d a y f o r l l i s v i s i t t o my s o u l ? I s my Comc-
         u n i o n j u s t a n o t h e r r o u t i n e a c t among a l l
         t h e o t h e r s t h a t f i l l my d a y ?
6.             When I h a v e s o m e f r e e t i m e i s my f i r s t
         t h o u g h t t o g o a n d v i s i t C h r i s t ? How m a n y
         times do I normally go t o H i m during t h e
         day? D o I r e a l l y believe t h a t , H e i s p r e -
         sent? Has t h e T a b e r n a c l e b e c o m e a \ l a c e of
         s p i r i t u a l r e c r e a t i o n f o r me? D o I m s k e t h e
         E u c h a r i s t i c Hour w i t h t h a t s e n s e o f r e p a r -
         a t i o n , c o ~ 2 s o l a t i o na n d i n t i m a c y w h l c h I -
         have been            taught?
7.   '     Have I a t r u e d e v o t i o n t o t h e B l e s s e d
     V i r g i n ? Is i t f e r v e n t , t k n d e r and f i i i a l ,
     o r merely r o u t i n e ? I s i t a n o u t l e t f o r m y
     s e n s i b l e a f f e c t i o n s ? Is s h e a r e a l n o t h e r
     in my d a l l y l i f e ? W h e n p r a y i n g - my ~ o s a r y ,
     am I c o n s c i o u s o f w h a t I a m d o i n g ? I s i t
     a mere r e p e t i t i o n o f w o r d s ? Do I h a v e t h e
     I n t e n t i o n o f p p a i s i n g my rnokho)??
8.                 y
            I s m l i f e g o v e r n e d b y t h e i d e a that I
     m u s t d o t h e w i l l o f God? Is t h i s my o n e
     c r i t e r f o n , t h e m o t i v e o f a l l my a c t i o n s ?
     Does t h e a c t o f p u t t i n g i t i n t o p r a c t i s e
     i n f l a m e me w i t h z e a l ? Does t h e k n o w l e d g e
     t h a t E am doing t h e w i l l of God g i v e * m e
     c o n f i d e n c e a n d s t r e n g t h ? Can I s a y t h a t
     i t i s r e a l l y f o o d f o r my s o u l , a s i t was
     for Christ?
9.           H a v e I a n a p o s t o l i c s p i r i t ? Uo s o u l s
     m e a n a n y t h i n g t o me? Do I p r e p a r e m y s e l f
       a s w e l l as p o s s i b l e , s p i r i t u a l l y , i n t e l l -
       e c t u a l l y and s o c i a l l y , i n o r d e r t o i n c r e a a
       my p o t e n t i a l f o r s a v i n g s o u l s ? Do I De-
       l i e v e t h a t my l i f e o f p r a y e r a n d s a c r i f i c e
       i s o f b e n e f i t t o t h e m ? Am I a n x i o u s t h a t
       they be saved?            Is t h i s a n o b s e s s i o n i n       -
       my l i f e ?
10.          Do I s h a r e t h e L e g i o n ' s o u t l o o k o n o b -
       e d i e n c e ? I s t h e r e a n y i n t e l l e c t u a l imped-
       i m e n t w h i c h p r e v e n t s me f r o m b e c o m i n g o n e
       w i t h t h e L e g i o n on t h i s p o i n t ?
1.1.         Do' I r e g a r d t h e w i s h e s o f my s u p e r i o r
       a s commands? D o I e t r y t o u n i t e my c r i t e r -
       i a w i t h t h o s e of       my s u p e r i o r ? Do I o b e y
       t h e l e s s e r s u p e r i o r s w i t h t h e same d e l i c -       -

       a c y as i f t h e y w e r e m a j o r s u p e r i o r s ? D o s s
       t h i s a p p l y t o t h o s e p l a c e d i n c h a r g e of
       v a r i o u s t a s k s , t o t h e programme and t o                -
       t h e n o r m s a n d- r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s w h i c h I
                                 .
       receive?                                            . .



12.          Do I c o n s i d e r t h a t my d e p e n d e n c e on my
       s u p e r i o r s i n s p i r i t u a l and e x t e r n a l    -
       m a t t e r s i s e x a g g e r a t e d ? Is i t a s'ource o f
                                                                   y
       s p i r i t u a l c o n t e n t m e n t t o know t h a t m SUE
       e r i o r s khow w h a t I t h i n k , w h a t I f e e 1 , a n d
       what I do?
13.          H a v e I a s s i m i l a t e d t h e s p i r i t o f Leg-
       i o n a r y p o v e r t y ? Do I e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y -
       look f o r t h e p o o r e s t and most a b j e c t , a s
       t h e r u l e d e m a n d s ? Do I r e s e n t h a v i n g . t o
       s u f f e r t h e l a c k o f w h a t i s n e c e s s a r y ? Do
       I u s e t h e c r i t e r i o n 'of d i s t i n c t i o n a s a n
       e x c u s e t o a l w a y s s e e k w h a t i s b e s t ? How
       d o I r e a c t when I am r e f u s e d s o m e t h i n g ?
      Do I a s k f o r a F c n a n c e w h e n e v e r I b r e a k       -
      anything?
14.          Do I a l w a y s r e m e m b e r t h e s p i r i t o f t h e
      P r i v a t e Vows a n d t h e o b l i g a t i o n s t h e y c n -
      t a i l ? Do I u n d e r e s t i m a t e t h e i r i m p o r t a n c e
      because t h e y a r e " P r i v a i e " ?           Is t h i s an
      i n t e r n a l a t t i t u d e ? Do I i n t e r p r e t t h e m -
      loosely, a c c o r d i n g t o my own way o f s e e i n g
      t h i n g s ? D o e s t h e i r s p i r i t i n c l u d e my m o s t
      intimate thoughts?
15.         Have I t h e r i g h t o u t l o o k o n p e r m i s s i o n s
      --before asking f o r something, do I s t o p
      t o t h i n k w h e t h e r it i s n e c e s s a r y , w h e t h e r
           m
      I a i n d i f f e r e n t t o i t s outcome, o r wheth-
      e r it i s s u p e r f l u o u s ? Do. I a s k f o r p e r n i s -   s
      i o n s w i t h c l a r i t y ? Do I a s k o n l y f o r w h a t
      i s n e c e s s a r y ? Do I g o t o t h e s u p Q i . i . o r who
      i s m o s t l i k e l y t o g i v e me t h e p e r m i s s i o n ?
16.         Have I a s p i r i t o f f a i t h ? What c r i t e r i a
      d i r e c t my l i f e  --     rationalism, purely nat-
      u r a l i s t i c a n d human s t a n d a r d s , o r s u p e r -
      n a t u r a l v a l u e s ? Do I f i n d God i n my p r a y e r ,
      i n t h e H o l y Rule, i n t h e p r o g r a m m e , i n my
      s u p e r i o r s , i n my b r o t h e r s , i n p u b l i c    -
      e v e n t s , i-n p r i v a t e o n e s , i n n a t u r e ?
17,         Have I a z e n s c o f d u t y t o w a r d s C h r i s t ?
      Up t o w h a t p o i n t d o I l o v e H i m       --  up t o     -
      n o t o f f e n d i n g Him g r a v e l y , t o n o t even -
      committing v e n i a l s i n s , o r t o n o t h u r t i n g
      H i m by a n y i m p e r f e c t i o n ? I s my d a i l y d u t y
      b r o u g h t t o l i f e by t h i s l o v e f o r C h r i s t ,
      o r i s i t just a s e r i e s o f r o u t i n e acts? D o
      I e v e r c o n s e n t t o f a u l t a g a i n s t i t w h e n my
      human r e s p e c t , s e n s u a l i t y a n d s e l f - l o v e
      come i n t o p l a y ?
18.         Have I t h e s p i r i t o f L e g i o n a r y c h a r i t y
      t o w a r d s s u p e r i o r s : am I m a n n e r l y i n my       -
      c o n d u c t t o w a r d s t h e m ? Am I a t t e n t i v e when
      t h e y a r e i n conversation - do I t a k e p a r t ?
      Do I f e e l i l l a t e a s e when w i t h t h e m ? Do
      I h a v e a h i g h r e g a r d f o r t h e m ? Do I a p p r e -
      c i a t e t h e m ? Do I e x c u s e t h e i r f a u l t s i n      -
      my own m i n d ? Do I s e e t o i t t h a t t h e i r               -
      g o o d name i s r e s p e c t e d among o t h e r s ? Do I
      conform t o t h e i r d e s i r e s a s if t h e y were
      commands? Do I h e l p t h e m a s much a s I c a n ?
      Do I love t h e m a s I t h i n k I l o v e J e s u s               -
      Christ?
19.          I n d e a l i n g w i t h my b r o t h e r s , i s m a k i n g
      o t h e r s h a p p y my g r e a t e s t j o y ? Do I e n c o u r
      a g e t h e m ? Do I h e l p t h e n ? Do I s e r v e t h e m ?
      Do I c o n t r a d i c t o r b o t h e r t h e m ? Do I s h o w .
      respect f o r t h e i r ideas, plans, actions                       -
      a n d i n t e n t i o n s ? Do I s u p p o r t t h e m ? Do I       -
      a l w a y s s p e a k w e l l o f t h e m ? Do I c a r e f u l l y
      a v o i d a l l g o s s i p , i r o n y a n d j o k e s a t my
      n e i g h b o u r ' s e x p e n s e ? Am I f r i e n d l y a n d    -
                                                                          -
      k i n d w i t h my brothers? Am I g a n t i a snd
      p a t i e n t , even a t t h e c o s t o f >self-love?
      When I h a v e t o s a y n o , d o I d o s o g e n t l y ?
      Do I g i v e t h e m g o o d e x a m p l e ? Have I w i d e n
      ed t h e scope o f t h i s s p i r i t t o i n c l u d e
                                                                          --
      e v e r y o n e , members o f t h e C o n g r e g a t i o n a n d
      o u t s i d e r s ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I make         -
      I i s t i n c t i o n s , c h a n g i n g my a t t i t u d e t o f i t
      d i f f e r e n t s i t u a t i o n s ? Do I l a u g h a t t h e    -
      p h y s i c a l a n d i n t e l l e c t u a l d e f e c t s of t h e
            others, as w e l l a s the defects of their
            character?
          .      Have I a s e n s e o f d i l i g e n c e a n d r e s p o n
           s i b i l i t y ? Am I a w a r e when g r a c e c a l l s ? D      ;
            1 respond q u i c k l y and i n d e t a i l , o r a m               I
            i n d i f f e r e n t ? Do I t h w a r t i t s e f f e c t s     -
           t h r o u g h l a z i n e s s o r l e v i t y ? Do I g i v e         -
           e v e r y t h i n g i t s p r o p e r i m p o r t a n c e ? Have I
           f o r m e d d e e p i n n e r c o n v i c t i o n s ? Do I f i g h t
           i r r e s o l u t e and s c e p t i c a l a t t i t u d e s , and
           t h o s e o f l a c k o f i n t e r e s t i n what is going
           o n ? Am I p r a c t i c a l ? Have I a s s u m e d r e s p o n
           s i b i l i t y f o r my v o c a t i o n , f o r t h e s p i r i t -
           o f t h e Logion, f o r e v e r y t h i n g t h e super-
           i o r s g i v c m e t o d c ? Do I a l w a y s r e m a i n o n
                                                   .
           t h e a l e r t , s t r i v i n g continually f o r pro-
           grzss i n my s p i r i t u a l l i f e ?
          .n e s H?a v Ie s I myh ter as ienn is ne g o af
                 s
                               t                  v i r i l i t y and nlanli-
                                                    .
                                                  s t r o n g o n e ? I s it-
           based on r e a s o n and w i l l , o r on s e n t i m e n t
           a l i t y ? Do I p u t a f f o r t i n t o e v e r y t h i n g 1-
           do, and work h a r d a t e v e r y t h i n g ? Am I              -
           l a z y ? Am I a n e m i c , s p i r i t u a l l y s p e a k i n g ?
           Do I l i k e f i g h t i n g a n d m a k i n g a n e f f o r t ?
           D o e s my p e r s o n a l d i s t i n c t i o n t e n d t o b e -
           come v a n i t y ? I s my s p e e c h a f f e c t e d . ? H a v e
           I a high o p i n i o n o f myself? Am I always
           looking f o r t h e p r a i s e and f l a t t e r y o f
           others?

3   22.       Have I t h e s e n s e o f m o d e s t y ? P o . 1 -
        o f t e n c a l l t h e r u l e s o f modesty t o mind?
      . Do I o b s e r v e t h e m , o r d o I t h i n k t h e y a r e
        u n i m p o r t a n t ? Do I p r e f e r b e i n g " n a t u r a l
I       a n d s p o n t a n e o u s " ? Do I l i v e a s t h e r u l e s
      l a y down? A r e t h e way I l a u g h , t h e way I
      c o n t r o l my s e n s e s , i n a c c o r d w i t h t h e       -
      r u l e ? Have I g a i n e d i n n e r h a r m o n y t h r o u f h
      s a c r i f i c e , a s t h e r u l e s demand, o r d o A
      g e t c a r r i e d away by i m p a t i e n c e o r b y bad
      humour?
23.         Am I c a p a b l e o f b e i n g s i n c e r e i n t h e
      way r e p e a t e d l y m a r k e d o u t f o r m e b y t h e
      L e g i o n ? Is t h e r e a marked d i f f e r e n c e be-
      t w e e n t h e s p i r i t o f my " p r o f e s s i o n " a n d
      t h e s p i r i t o f my e v e r y d a y l i f e ? Do I j u s t     -
      i f y t h i s a t t i t u d e i n my own m i n d ? Does            -
      t h i s a t t i t u d e show i n my a c t i o n s ? Do I           -
      try t o d e c e i v e o t h e r s ?
24.         Have I a s p i r i t o f c o n f i d e n c e i n my
      s u p e r i o r s ? D o I know how t o c d n f i d q i n           -
      t h e m ? I n my e y e s , d o t h e y f i l l t h e r o l e
      c f f a t h e r s more t h a n a n y o t h e r ? Am I s u r e
                                                                     -
.

      t h e y know m e ? Do I a v o i d t h e n ? I s my
      t r u s t i n them v e r y c a l c u l a t i n g ? D o I f c l -
      low t h e r u l e o f o p e n i n g m y s e l f t o them           -
      o n l y i n s o f a r a s t h e y l e t me h a v e w h a t I
      want?
25.         Have I t h e s p i r i t o f r e s e r v e a n d d i s -
      c r e t i o n ? A m I d i s c r e e t i n my c o n v e r s a t i o n s
      w i t h o u t s i d e r s , e s p e c i a l l y w i t h women? D o
      I p r a c t i s e t h i s towards employees, and -
      t h e i r a f f a i r s ? Do I i n t r u d e i n d i s c r e e t l y     1
                                                                               &>
      i n t h e i r l i v e s , o r d o I know how t o r e s -
      p e c t t h e m i n t h i s m a t t e r ? Am I v e r y c a r e -         ,--
      f u l a b o u t s i g n i n g m y . name t o a n y t h i n g ? Do
      I t a k e c a r e i n my letters? Do I w r i t e                   -     -
      and speak o n l y what I t h i n k and b e l i e v e ?
      Do I t a k e t h e l i b e r t y of r e p e a t i n g w h a t
      the superior has told m e more or less in
      private, without his consent? Do I resort
      to the e x c u s e t h a t "if they were t h e r e -
      they would have heard it anyway", in order
      to l e t i t out? Is the real reason for                  -
      these iadiscretions by any chance the de-
      sire of being c o n s i d e r e d well-informed?
      Do I know how to weigh my words? Do I                     -
      also weigh up the circumstances and the                       -
      persons involved? Do I foresee the con-
      sequences that any word or leakage of in
      formation could have?
                                                                    -
25.      Have I a sense of distinction and pol-
      iteness? A m I distinguished in my bearing,
      my manners and my tone of voice? Do I care-
      fully put my rules of social formation                        -
      into practise? Do I give' this point of our
      mystique all the importacce it d e s e r v e s , c r
      an I lazy or indole.nt? Have I no interest
      in all this?. Do I think -that anything -                 -
      which is not 'spontaneous' is inhuman con-
      straint?
27.         H a v e I a sense of order? Which of my -
      faculties dominates my l i F e           --   T T . ~ reason,
      my will, or m y h e a r t ? Do T strive to c s l -
      ablish a h i e r a r c h y o f v a l u e s ? Is t h e r e     -
      order in my intelligence, in my sequence
      of thought, in my imagination, in m y sent
      i m e n t s or in my motivation? Does the ' e x a i
      ination of prevision help me to achieve
                                                                  - -
      t h i s ? Do I carry out its resolutions' Are
      my belongings, my notes, my room, in ord-
      er? Do I keep those things which are not
      going to be seen by others tidy?
     28.          Do I p r a c t i s e t h e L e g i o n ' s s p i r i t i n my
           c o n v e r s a t i o n s ? Do t h e y r a d i a t e t h e ' s w e e t
           f r a g r a n c e ' o f C h r i s t ? Do I a r g u e ? Do I           -
           know how t o g i v e i n , e v e n t h o u g h i t h u r t s
           me? Am I h u m b l e i n t h i s a s p e c t ? A r e n y -
           c o n v e r s a t i o n s f r i v i l o u s ? Are t h e y a s h o w
           o f k n o w l e d g e ? Do I make a n e f f o r t t o s p e a k
           a b o u t L e g i o n a r y t h e m e s ? When I s p e a k a b o u t
           C h r i s t a n d t h e L e g i o n , a r e my c o n v e r s a t -
           i o n s f r e e f r o m human r e s p e c t ? Am I a g o o d
           l i s t e n e r ? Do I a s k p a r d o n when I i n t e r r u p t
           i n t e n t i o n a l l y ? Have I g o t t h e h a b i t o f          -
           m a k i n g r e m a r k s on w h a t i s s a i d , w i t h o u t      -
           r e a l l y t a k i n g part i n the conversation?                     -
    .29.      Have I t h e p r o p e r a p p r e c i a t i o n o f s m a l l
I
        d e t a i l s ? Are t h e y t h e e x p r e s s i o n o f my
        s p i r i t u a l f e r v o u r , of my d e l i c a c y o f c o n -
                                                                                 -
1       s c i e n c e , o f t h e s i n c e r i t y o f my l o v e f o r
        C h r i s t ? Do I d o t h e m w e l l ? Do I g e t c a r r -
        i e d av,7a-y b y r o u t i n e , b y l a z i n e s s o r a n a t
        u r a l i s t i c o u t l o o k , o r am I a b l e t o d e m a n x
        a l o t f r o m m y s e l f i n t h i s m a t t e r ? Do        I
        r e a l i s e how i m p o r t a n t t h e s e s m a l l t h i n g s
        r e a l l y are i n the supernatural sense?
     30.         Do I .know how t o d e n y m y s e l f a s t h e                -
                                   e
           L e g i o n a s k s m t o ? Do I r e g a r d s e l f - d e n i a l
           a s t h e o n l y way o f f o l l o w i n g C h r i s t ? Do I
           d e n y m y s e l f by p u t t i n g a s i d e my own c r i t -
           e r i a , b y o v e r c o m i n g my d e s i r e s a n d a f f e c t
           i o n s ? Do X d e n y m y s e l f t o t h e same d e g r e e
           in external things, or a m I drifting                             -
           t h r o u g h ? * . f e w i t h o u t making any g r e a t e f f
           o r t , d o i n g n o t h i n g more t h a n i s n e c e s s a r y
           t o a v o i d c o m p l i c a t i o n s a n d k e e p my c o n    -
           science quiet?
31.         - H a v e I t h e s p i r i t o f s i l e n c e ? Do I c u l-t
       i v a t e b o t h i n t e r n a l a n d e x t e r n a l silent??
       Am I a b l e t o k e e p my i m a g i n a t i o n u n d e r          -
       c o n t r o l and b e . r e c o l l e c t e d a t any g i v c n -
       moment? D o c s t h i s h e l p m e t o b e m o r e c l o s -
       e l y u n i t e d t o God? Am I c a r e f u l t o a v o i h
      .a11 k i n d s o f n o i s e ?
32.         Have I t h e s p i r i t o f c o n s t a n c y a n d p e r -
      s e v e r a n c e ? Have I t h e s t r e n g t h o f c h a r a c t -
      er t o f i n i s h whatever I begin                 --      in the    -
      s p i r i t u a l f i e l d , t h e i n t e l l e c t u a l field,
      a n d a l s o i n f o r m i n g my w i l l ? On t h e c o n -
      t r a r y , d o I w o r k o n l y a s l o n g a s I meet n o
      o b s t a c l e s ? Have I g o t s t r o n g w i l l - p o w e r ,
      o r am I j u s t a p l a y t h i n g o f i n t e r n a l a n 3
      e x t e r n a l c i r c u m s t a n c e s ? ~ ' ~ I s t i c k a t w h a-
                                                        o                    t
      e v e r I t a k e on?
33.         Have 1 t h e s p i r i t of c o m b a t ? 3 0 I t h i n k
      my f o r m a t i o n i s c o m p l e t e i n a n y a s p e c t ?
      Have I a n i n s a t i a b l e t h i r s t f o r f u r t h e r -
      p r o g r e s s ? D o e s my l o v e f o r C h r i s t p r e v e n t
      me f r o m s l a c k e n i n g my e f f o r t s ? Has my l o v e
      f o r t h e Legion and f o r s o u l s t h e sdmc e f f -
      e c t ? Am I humble enough t o a l w a y s a d m i t 1
      am n o t p c r v f c c t a n d t h a t I h a v e d c f c c t s ?
      Because o f t h i s , d o I f i g h t w i t h morz en-
      e r g y a n d f e r v o u r e a c h d a y ? Do I g e t b o r e d
      with t h i s constant e f f o r t ?
34.        H a v e I t h e s p i r i t o f gratitude? Do                 I
      c u l t i v a t e t h i s v i r t u e ? D o I feel. u n w o r t h y
      o f any k i n d o f h e l p from o t h e r s , s o t h a t I
      a m t h a n k f u l when I r e c e i v e i t ? A m I g r a t e -
      f u l i n t h e f i r s t p l a c e t o God? Do I t h a n k
      my s c p e r i . o r s f o r t h e i r a d v i c e a n d g u i d a n c e ?
      Do I t h a n k t h e m f o r t h e i r c o r r e c t i o n s ?
                                                                                     I
      When t r a v e l l i n g , d o I t h a n k a l l t h o s e who

35.
      h e l p m e by s e n d i n g t h e m a c a r d a f t e r w a r d s ?
            Is t h e r e any a s p e c t o f t h e L e g i o n a r y    -
                                                                             '
                                                                                     1
      Mystique i n which I f e e l I have been                      de-              '\
                                                                                      I
      c e i v e d ? Is t h e r e a n y a s p e c t I a p p r e c i a t e         '
                                                                                     W
      L e s s t h a n o t h e r s ? I s t h e r e some p o i n t I
      d o n ' t v a l u e e n o u g h , o r i n w h i c h my o w n --

      e l y a t one with t h e s p i r i t o f t h e Legion?.'
                                                                         -
      c r i t e r i a h o l d s w a y ? C a n . 1 s a y I am c o m p l e t           0
      I s my l o v e f o r t h e L e g i o n s t r o n g e n o u g h    -
      n o t t o omit even t h e m o s t i z i v i a l d e t a i l ?                  F
                                                                                     -1
                                                                                          1

36.       D o e s my d e b t o f g r a t i t u d e t o C h r i s t f o r .:'
      my v o c a t i o n h e l p me t o a c c e p t i t g e n e r o u s
      l y and ..happily, w i t h a l l i t s c o n s e q u e n c e s ?
                                                   33.   VOCATION




1.         Do I a p p r e c i a t e my v o c a t i o n a s t h e m o s t
     p r e c i o u s , p e r s o n a l g i f t w h i c h God h a s g i v
     e n me? Do I t h a n k H i m f o r i t e v e r y day?F!;s
     t h i s a n y p r a c t i c a l r e s u l t s i n my l i f e ?
2.         Do I t , a k e p r i d e i n b e l o n g i n g t o G o d , a n d   .- -
     g l o r y i n t h i s p r i v e l e g e ? Do I r e d i t a t e o n
     t h e g r e a t n e s s o f my v o c a t i o n , a n d   its       -
     far-reaching implicati-ons?
3.         Am I s a t i s f i e d w i t h t h e v o c a t i o n t o      -
     w h i c h God h a s c a l l e d me? Do I ' f e e l a t home
     h e r e , o r would I r a t h e r be somewhere e l s e ?
4.         Do I a s k God e a g e r l y a n d c o n f i d e n t l y -
     e v e r y d a y t o k e e p me i n H i s s e r v i c e     till
     death?
           Have I d e d i c a t e d m y s e l f w i t h j o y a n d      -
                                                                         -
     i d e a l i s m t o t h e f u l l r e a l i s a t i o n o f my
     v o c a t i o n ? Have I d o n e s o w i t h r e s p o n s i b i-    l
     i t y , o r d o I come d a n g e r o u s l y c l o s e         to
     l o s i n g it through constant i n f i d e l i t y ,                -
     s u p e r f i c i a l i t y and l e v i t y , l a c k o f s a c r i -
     f i c e , s e n s u a l i t y , attachment t o t h e world
     a n d i t s a f f a i r s , O F c o r r u p t i o n o f my        -
                                                                        -
     h e a r t t h r o u g h i m p u r i t y ? Do t e p i d i t y , b o r e
      dom, l a c k o f a p p r e c i a t i o n f o r p r a y e r a n d
      t h e i n t e r i o r l i f e , o r d i s r e g a r d f o r p u n c-
                                                                         t
                                                                                   1
      u a l i t y and r e l i g i o u s d i s c i p l i n e a l s o en-
      danger     my     vocation?
6.      . Deep d.ovn i n s i d e , d o I t h i n k o f my v o c
      a t i o n as s o m e t h i n g w h i c h I w i l l o n e d a y       -       r..   .
                                                                                         I
      b r i n g t o c o m p l e t i o n , o r a s s o m e t h i n g be-            L!
      y o n d my c a p a c i t y ? What a r e t h e r e a s o n s f o r
      t h e n e g a t i v e a t t i t u d e , i f I have i t ?
7.       Have I e v e r s e r i o u s d o u b t s a b o u t my
   v o c a t i o n ? Are t h e y f r e q u e n t ? I n t h e s e m o m
                                                                       -           P
   e n t s , have I spmetimes t h o u g h t t h a t I h a x
                                     I
   no v o c a t i o n ? ~ a v e g i v e n i n t o t h i s              -
           g
   thou- ht?
8.       I f I b e l i e v e I c h n f o l l o w my v o c a t i o n ,
   do 1 want t o f o l l o w it t o t h e end?                  Why
   do I want t o p e r s e v e r e            --
                                               through f e a r of
   t h e w o r l d , o f p o s s i b l e e t e r n a l condemnat-
   i o n if I g i v e u p , o f b e i n g l e f t w i t h o u t            -
   e a t e r i a l r e s o u r c e s , o r o f c h e a t i n g my s i p
   e r i o r s a n d f a m i l y ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , h a v e
   I motives such a s g r a t i t u d e t o t h e Legion,
   l o v e f o r C h r i s t , d e s i r e t o s a v e s o u l s , or
   z e a l f o r t h e g l o r y o f God?
9.          Do my a c t i o n s c o r r e s p o n d t o t h e g r e a t
      n e s s o f my v o c a t i o n , o r , when f a c e d wi.th
      t h e s t a r k r e a l i t y of h a v i n g t o l i v e i t , d o
      I a l l o w i n s i n c e r e and u n t e n a b l e a t t i t u d e s    '
      t o develope?
10.         So as t o p r e s e r v e a n d d e v e l o p e my v o c -
      a t i o n , d o I t r y t o .be v e r y f a i t h f u l t o          -
      g r a c e ? Do I t r y t o l i v e my H o l y R u l e with
                                                               .
      m o r e p e r f e c t i o n e a c h d a y ? Do I t r y h a r d       -
                                -   148   -
                         to acquire t h e necessary moral, s p i r i t u a l
                        and p s y c h o l o g i c a l a p t i t u d e s t o f o l l o w my
                                                  .
                        v o c a t i o n , i . ~ VOWS and v i r t u e s , s p i r i t u a l
                        l i f e a n d h a b i t of p r a y e r , a n d f o r m a t i o n      -
                        o f c h a r a c t e r and w i l l , r e s p e c t i v e l y ?
                  11.      Is C h r i s t t h e t a n g i b l e aim o f a l l my
                     a c t i o n s ? I s He m c r i t e r i o n , t h e c e n t r e
                                               y                                              -
                     of a l l my v i e w s , a n d i n t e r e s t s , o f a l l m  y
                     p l a n s and i d e a l s ?
                  12.         Do my e u c h a r i s t i c a n d i n t e r i o r l i v e s     -
                        h a v e a n y r e l a t i o n t o m v o c a t i o n ? Do
                                                            y                             I
                        t r y t o b e v e r y f a i t h f u l by d o i n g a l l m     y
                        a c t s of p i e t y w i t h p e r f e c t i o n ?
i '               13.         Am I d e e p l y c o n v i n c e d t h a t T w i l l o n l y
                        be a b l e t o keep m v o c a t i o n i f I combine
                                                   y
                        d a i l y l i f e w i t h a l i f e of s a c r i f i c e ?
                  14.        Above a l l , do I t r y t o k e e p my h e a r t
                               y
                        a n d m body p u r e f o r t h e s a k e o f C h r i s t ?
                                .   -
          .   -

i                 15.         D O I t r y t o b e e x t r e m e l y d e l i c a t e when
                        o p e n i n g my c o n s c i e n c e t o m s u p e r i o r 7 s , -
                                                                  y
                        t e l l i n g them a l l t h e d i f f i c u l t i e s    I ex-
                        perience about m vocation?y
                  16.         Does i t u s u a l l y c o s t me a l o t t o p r a c -
                        t i s e o b e d i e n c e a s t h e Legion dsmands?
                  17.        Have I got u s e d t o           seeing t h e g i f t of
                        my v o c a t i o n i n r e l a t i o n t o God, t o t h e -
                        L e g i o n , and t o s o u l s , o r do I a l w a y s    see
                        i t from t h e a n g l e o f mere s e l f i s h n e s s and
                        personal profit?
    F1
    1-I           18.         Does my m i s s i o n o f s p r e a d i n g C h r i s t ' s
                                                  y
                        m e s s a g e whip up m e n t h u s i a s m f o r " s t o c k -
!   , (
                                                     /




      piling" graces by a l i f e of prayer, sacri-
      f i c e and f i d e l i t y ?                                       'I
19.                                                                  -
            H a v e I p l a c e d m y v o c a t i o n under t h e p r o    t
      t e c t i o n o f t h e Blessed Virgin?                             -,
     I.                                y
                 Do I t h i n k o f m v o c a t i o n t o t h e p r i e s t
           hood a s a s u b l i m e a n d u n m e r i t e d g r a c e -
           w h i c h God h a s g i v e n m e , o r a s j u s t a s t r a y
           coincidence          --n I c o u l d j u s t a s w e l l be -
           anywhere e l s e a s here" ?
     2.          Do I o f t e n r e m e m b e r t h e d i f f e r e n t   -
           s t a g e s a n d c i r c u m s t a n c e s i n w h i c h my v o c -
     +
           a t i o n d e v e l o p e d , s o a s t o t h a n k God f o r -
           H i s kindness and-immeasurable goodness?
     3.          Does t h e t h o u g h t of t h e o b ' i g a t i o n I       -
           h a v e o f p e a c h i n g t h e p r i e s t h o o d h e l p me
           t o o v e r c o m e a l l d i f f i c u l t i e s 2nd p r o b l e m s ?
           D o e s c h a s t i t y s t r i k e me a s s o m e t h i n g i n n o
           way e x t r a o r d i n a r y f o r a man w h o h a s t o -
           t o u c h C h - i s t ? D o e s t h e love o f C h r i s t , t h e
           H i g h P r i e s t , whom I h a v e g r o w n t o r e s s e m -
           b l e , make up f o r a l l t h e l o v e s I have l e f t
           behind?
     4 .         H a v e I :such a n . e l e v a t e d a n d s u p e r n a t -
           u r a l concept of t h e p r i e s t l y vocation t h a t
           I am p r e p a r e d t o f o r e g o a l l o t h e r l o v e s -
           a n d p r i v i l e g e s ? Do I know how t o p ~ a c t i s e
           s e l f - r e n u n c i a t i o n w i t h noble g e n e r o s i t y ,
-1
'
     k n o w i n g how t o s a c r i f i c e a l e s s e r g o o d f o r
     a n i n f i n i t e l y g r e a t e r o n e ? Does t h i s         -
     t h o u g h t . s p u r me on i r r e s t i b l y t o a n i n -
     tense inner preparation f o r the priesthbgd?
     Do I work t o p r e p a r e m y s e l f ?
5.         D o I g i v e my f u l l a t t e n t i o n t o c o n s e r -
     v i n g a n d s t r e n g t h e n i n g m y v o c a t i o n ? Do I
     do e v e r y t h i n g j o y f u l l y f o r t h i s motive?
6.         Do I o f t e n m e d i t a t e o n t h e s u p r e m e r o l e
     o f J e s u s C h r i s t as H i g h - P r i e e t , l i n k i n g     -
     God a n d man? Do I t h i n k o f i t , n o n e t h e l e s s ,
     as s o m e t h i n g p u r e Z y p e r s o n a l , s o m e t h i n g -
     w h i c h w i l l e v e n t u a l l y b e g i v e n me? Does
     my l o v e f o r C h r i s t make me a s s u m e H i s t a s k
     of g l o r i f y i n g and r e d e e m i n g ?
7.        Taking a l l t h i s i n t o a c c o u n t , do I              -
     u n d e r s t a n d t h a t my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s C h r i s t
     cannot-.be i n d i f f e r e n t o r 'more o r l e s s 1 ?
8.         Do i t h i n k o f t h e p r i e s t h o o d a s ' e l l         -
     a c t i o n and p e r s o n a l g l o r y , o r do I g i v e
     p r i g e importance t o personal s a n c t i t y ,                    -
     c o u p l e d w i t h work f o r t h e s a n c t i f i c a t i o n
     o f o t h e r s ? Am I c o n v i n c e d t h a t t h e s u c c e s s
     o f t h e p r i e s t h o o d d e p e n d s on t h e p r i e s t ' s
     degree of personal s a c r i f i c e ?
9.        Do I c o n s i d e r p r i e s t l y o r d i n a t i o n t h e
     end of a p e r i o d of r e s t r i c t i o n a f t e r which
     I w i l l b e a b l e t o e s t a b l i s h my s e l f h o o d
     a n d d e v e l o p e my own p e r s o n a l i t y ? D o I s e e
     i t a s t h e - t i m e when - t h e n u m b e r o f p e o p l e
     who demand my a t t e n t i o n a n d s e r v i c e w i l l
     increase?
                                                                  -
                              -   152    -
10.      Have I y e t r e a l i s e d t h e f a r - r e a c h i ~ g
      impl.icati.ons s f my d e a l . i n g s w i t h s o u l s ?
11.          Do I m a k e an a l l - o u t e f F o r t i n e a c h -
       a s p e c t o r ~y t r a i n i n g , b e c a u s e s o much i s
      demanded o f t h e p r i e s t i n t h e w o r l d o f -
       t o d a y ? I n f o r m i n g my b o d i l y f a c u l t i e s , d o
       I t r y t o be b a l a n c e d ,        noble, distinguis-          h
      e d , r e s p e c t f u l a n d m o d e s t ? I n f o r m i n g my
      m e n t a l f a c u l t i e s , do I aim f o r o r d e r and
      e f f i c a c y , w i t h t h o n o u g h k n o w l e d g e o f c u r-
                                                                           r
      cnt d e v e l o p m e n t s , t a k i n g t h e n e c e s s a r y -
      precautions according t o t h e stage of                           -
      formation I have reached? I n s p i r i t u a l                   -
      m a t t e r s , am I e a g e r t o r e a c h h o l i n e s s a n d
      t o c l e a n s e a n d p u r i f y my s o u l s when I            -
      t h i n k my p r i e s t h o o d w i l l ' p u t me i n d i r e c t
      c o n t a c t w i t h God a n d s o u l s ?
12.         A m I t r y i n g t o m o u l d my h e a p t o n t h e
      p a t t e r n which must typify a p r i e s t ? Am I
      mcek l i k e C h r i s t ? Do I i m i t a t e H i s p u r i t y
      a n d d e t z c h m e n t ? Do I s y m p a t h i s . w i t h      -
      t h o s e who s u f f e r a n d r e j o i c e w i t h t h o s e
      who a r e h a p p y , o r d o I a l w a y s p r e s e n t a
      d i s t a n t , h a r d a n d b i t t e r fro?:t t o t h e -
      world?
i3.         A m I learning t o p u t m y s e l f a t c v c r y -
      o n e ' s d i s p o s d l ? Do I know h o w t o g i * ? e u ?
        y
      m own i n k c r e s t s , t a s t e s a n d p r e f e r e n c e s
      t o l o o k a f t e r t h e i n t e r e s t s and d e s i r e s       -
      o f o t h e r s ? Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t t h i s i s
      t h e o n e way I h a v e of m e a s u r i n g t h e e f f -
                      y
      e c t s of m p r i e s t h o o d ?
14.       In my v i e w , c a n t h e f e r v o u r . o f my f u t -
      u r e p r i e s t h o o d b e m e a s u r e d b y my p r e s e n t
      r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h Jesus i n t h e E u c h a r i s t ?
      Do I f o r g e t C h r i s t i n my d a i l y l i f e ? Do I
      remember H i m a n d v i s i t H i m o f t e n ? Do I a l -
      ways l i v e c l o s e t o H i m , making m y s e l f one
      with H i s Eucharistic s p i r i t , a s p i r i t ex-
      p r e s s e d by o f f e r i n g c o n s o l a t i o n a n d g l o r y
      t o t h e Father?
15.          C o I t r y t o d e v e l o p e my p r i e s t l y s p i r i t
      by being a f e r v e n t and e f f e c t i v e c o n q u e r o r
      o f souls, o r , b e c a u s e o f l a z i n e s s and l a c k
      of g e n e r o s i t y , d o I c o n f i n e m y s e l f t o        -
      f o l l o w i n g C h r i s t .in t h e r e a r g u a r d o f H i s
      army?
16.         Do I u s e a l l my e n e r g y t o f o r m my c h a-
                                                                r
      a c t e r , s o t h a t my l i f e , when t o t a l l y -
      g i v e n t o God a n d s o u l s , may n o t h e a h i n -
                                                                d
      ranee t o G o d l s p l a n s
17.        Have I a n y s i n o r i m p e r f e c t i o n w h i c h          -
      c o u l d impede o r o b s t r u c t t h i s d i v i n e werk?
18.         I s my v i e w o f l i f e s o s u p e r n a t u r a l       -
      t h a t i n t h e f u t u r e I w i l l be a b l e t o i m -
      p a r t i t t o e v e r y o n e who comes t o me? W i l l
      I h a v e t o t r y a n d p i c k i t up a s I g o              -
      a l o n g ? \.rould a n y o n e w h o s e e s me a s a            -
      p r i e s t b a c o n v i n c e d t h a t man b e l o n g s t o
      God a n d t h a t a l l o u r human l i f e m u s t           be
      r u l e d b y H i s w i l l f o r His g r e a t e r g l o r y ?
19.         Is my f u t u r e l i f e a s a p r i e s t , w o u l d
      I l i k e t o have t o b e a r confessions l i k e                     -
      t h e o n e I sake n o w , . a s r e g a r d s t h e i r con-
      t e n t of s i n c e r i t y , c o n t r i t i o n , p u r p o s e o f
      amendment and p r a c t i c a l r e s u l t s ?

                                 -         -
                                                                 L

                                     154
 20.         Do I h a v e s u c h c o n f i d e n c e i n God t h a t
       w i t h t h e h e l p o f H i s g r a c e I cou12d s h a r e
       my t r u s t e v e n w i t h a s o u l s u n k i n t h e f i - n
       a 1 agony o f ' d e s p a i r ?
 21.         What i s my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s s i n ,     con-
       s i d e r i n g my m i s s i o n i s t o f i g h t a g a i n s t       .
       i t a n d t o s a n c t i f y s o u l s ? Am I t o t a l l y      -
       opposed t o i t ?
 22.         Do I o f f e r s a c r i f i c e s f o r my f a i l i n g s
        i n a s p i r i t o f r e p a r a t i o n which a l r e a d y -       '
       h a s a p r i e s t l y q u a l i t y ? Do S a l s o t r y       to
       make s a t i s f a c t i o n f o r a l l t h e s i n s o f       -
       others      --    f o r both t h e present ones                and
       t h e o n e s I w i l l m e e t i n t h e f u t u r e ? Do         I
       b e l i e v e t h a t my h a t r e d a n d o p p o s i t i o n   -
       towards s i n w i l l one day i n s p i r e o t h e r s
       t o f5ght a g a i n s t i t ?
23..         h-hat a t t i t u d e d o I t a k e tow-ards g r e a t
       p u b l i c s c ~ n d a l s : d o t h e y z r o u s e my  cur-
       i o s i t y ? Do I t r y t o f i n d e x c u s z s f o r t h e m ?
       Would I t a k e p a r t i n t h e m i f c e r t a i n c i r -
       c i m s t a n c e s d i d n o t p r e v c n t m e ? Am I  sad
       b e c a u s e of t h e o f f e n c e c o m m i t t e d by the
       Poor s i n n e r ?       Do 3 p r a y i f o r h i m ?
4            Have i m e d i t a t e d d e e p l y on t h e v a l u e . o f
       one s o u l and t h c s i g n i f i c a n c e o f i t s s a l -
       v a t i o n o r c o n d e m n a t i o n ? Do I b e l i e v e I c a n
       do s o m e t h i n g f o r them?
'25.         Am I v e r y s i n c e r e , b o t h w i t h m y s e l f a n d
                                                                         -
         '



       w i t h o t h e r s , s o a s t o keep t h e sublime
       q u a l i t y o f my v o c a t i o n u n i m p a i r e d ? .
26..         Do I s t u d y e v e r y d e t a i l o f t h e M a s s ,
      following it with t h e g r e a t e s t i n t e r e s t               -
      a n d s u p e r n a t u r a l s p i r i t , l i k e s o m e o n e who
      w i l l one day t a k e a v i t a l p a r t i n i t ?
27.        Do I f e e l a l i t t l e n e a r e r t o C h r i s t       -
      because I s h a r e His l o n g i n g f o r r e d e m p t -
      i o n a n d for t h e F a t h e r ' s g l o r y ?
28.         Would i t s u r p r i s e me t o h a v e t o e n d my
      l i f e on a c r o s s , i n t h e m o s t u t t e r f a i l -
      u r e f r o m a human p o i n t o f v i e w ?
                                        3 . ZEAL FOR SOULS
                                         7




1.         Do I f c e l r e a l p a s s i o n a n d a n x i e t y f o r
     t h e s a l v a C i o n o f s o u l s ? Was t h i s by      any
     chance t h e r e a s a n which prompted m e                 t o -
                     y
     t a k e up m vocation?
2.         Does it s a d d e n m e t o t h i n k t h a t s o -
     many s o u l s a r e b e i n g l o s t ? Nave I come t o
     f u l l y r e a l i s e t h a t it is worth s u f f e r i n g
     a hundred C a l v a r i e s f o r t h e s a k e o f one
     s o u l ? Would I - b e p r e p a r e d t o g i v e i17i> my
     l i f e r i g h t now f o r t h e s a k e o f or!c s o u l ?
3.         Am I c o n v i n c e d t h a t t h c r c a r e souls        -
     wh!ch God h a s g i v e n ma t o s a v c ? Do I l o v e
     t h e m ? Do I d e n y m y s e l f a n d p r a y a l o t f o r
     t h e m ? Do T d e v o t e my w h o l e l i f e t o t h c r n ?
     H a v e t h e y a p r o m i n e n t p l a c e i n my t h o u g h t s ,
     c o n v e r s a t i o n s a n d d a i l y c o n c e r n s ? Docs -
     t h e t h o u g l l t o f t h e i r s a l v a t i o n u r g e rn:2 t o
     a t t a i n h o l i n e s s ? Do I m a k e s p e c i a l r e p a r -
     ation for the sins of the souls cntrusted
     t o me?
4.        Is t h e p o s i t i v e a n d p r a c t i c a l i d , ? a l o f
     moulding m h e a r t on t h e p a t t e r n o f a n -
                     y
     a p o s t l e of C h r i s t a v i t a l f e a t u r e o f       my
     e v e r y d a y l i f e ? For t h i s v e r y r e a s o n , do I
     t r y t o g a i n a deep f a i t h i n a l l t h e t h i n g s
     I w i l l haye t o t e a c h o t h e r s a f t c r w a r d s ? D o
     7 also t r y t o live these truths?
5.        Whar k i n d o f d e a l i n g s d o I h a v e w i t h         -
     t h a t p e r s o n a l enemy o f e v e r y a p o s t l e , s i n ?
     Do I c o n c e d e some a s p e c t o f l i f e t o i t ?
     Do I h a t e i t d e e p l y ? Do I u s e a l l t h e           -
     means a t m y d i s p o s a l t o f i g h t e n e r g e t i -
     cally against it?
6.         Do I n e g l e c t a n y m e a n s o f p r e p a r i n g  - -
     myself f o r t h e apos.tolate, thereby                    join-
     i n g t h e r a n k s o f t h o s e who e x t i n g u i s h     -
     r a t h e r than enkindle t h e flame of t h e                  -
     S p i r i t i n s o u l s ? When d e a l i n g w i t h o t h e r .
     p e o p l e , what do I s e e f i r s t , - - t h e i r s o u l s
     o r t h e i r human q u a l i t i e s ?
7.         Do I t r y t o b u i l d u p t h e Kingdom o f            -       -
     C h r i s t i n s o u , l s , g i v i n g good e x a m p l e a n d
     i n t r o d u c i n g s p i r i t u a l themes i n c o n v e r s a t
     ions etc. ?
8.         Do I s t r i v e t o come f a c e t o f a c e w i t h
     C h r i s t i n my p e r s o n a l . l . i f a , s i n c e I h a v e
     t h e m i s s i b n o f l e a d i n g o t h e r s o u l s t o Him?
     Have I e v e r t r i e d t o b e a n a p o s t l e w i t h -
     o u t u n i t i n g m y s e l f t o C h r i s t , t h e One who
     c a l l e d no and w i l l        " s e n d me o u t t o t h e -
     whole w o r l d w ?
9.         Do I t r y t o i m i t a t e C h r i s t ' s g o o d n e s s ,
     p a t i e n c e and meekness, H i s i n t i m a c y and
     t r u s t t o w i r d s His F a t h e r , a n d H i s l o v e f o r
     s o u l s , o r , e v e n now, Do I l i m i t m y s e l f t o
     being a cold functionary, applying only                    r        -
                               -   158   -
      o n l y t h e p u n i t i v e a n d n e g a t i v e a s p e c t s of
      Christ's spirit?
10,         Do I s e t n o l i m i t s t o my s u r r c n d c i - t o
      C h r i s t and t o o t h c r s , s i n c e h a l f - h e a r t e d
      g e n e r o s i t y cannot a t t r a c t o r i n f l u e n c e any
      o n e ? E v e n now, d o I t r y t o m a s t e r t h e a r t -
      o f s e r v i n g o t h e r s ? Do I s h a r e t h a t m i s t a k -
      e n idea o f a n a p o s t l e w h i c h c o n f i n e s t h a t
      t i t l e t o o r d a i n e d p r i e s t s and E o r c e t s t h a t
      i t is determined by the individual's i n t e r-                    n
      a1 a t t i t u d e ?
11.         W h e n J t h i n k o f my a p o s t o l a t e , h a v e 1
      n o o t h e r w i s h t h a n t c b 2 holy, t c m a k e -
      o t h e r s h o l y a n d t o sppead t h i s h o l i n e s s by
      f o r m i n g o t h e r a p o s t l e s ? On t h e o t h e r h 3 n d
      d o I c h e r i s h p e r s o n a l p l a n s and a m b i t i o n s
      f o r this p e r i o d o f m y l i f e ?
12.       Do I r e a l i s e t h ' a t t h e b a s i c r e q u i r e m e ~ ~ t
      o f e v e r y a p o s t l e i s s e l f - s a c r i f i c e ? lizvo 1 .
      begun t o p r a c t i s e i t on . t h i s a c c o u n t ?
13.         Do I u s e a l l t h e m e a n s a t my d i s p o s a l
      t o avoid imperfection because I r e a l i s e                       -
                                                                               -
      t h a t my h o l i n e s s , o r t h e l a c k o f i t , c o u l d
      r e s u l t i n t h e s a l v a t i o n o r c o n d e m n a t i o n cf
      a particular soul?
it&.       S i n c e :he S a c r a m e n t s a r e m e a n s " p a r e x -
      cellence" o f saving s o u l s , do I g i v e then
      t h e i r due value?
15.       Do I f o s t e r c h a r i t y a n d u n d e r s t a n d i n g       -
      i n a s p e c i a l w a y , w i t h a v i e w t o my a p o s t
      o l a t e ? Does t h e t h o u g h t o f t h e s o u l s w h i c F
      a r e w a i t i n g f o r m e h e l p m e t o u s e my t i m e
          well?
    16.      Have I thought about the huge responsib
          jlity God has given ma inasmuch as H e will
          soon entrust the souls of men to my care? .
    17.      Am I pessimistic about my apostolate,or
          do I optimistically trust in Christ's      -
          words : "It is to the glory of my Father..         %




          that you should bear much fruit" ?
1   18.      Rave I entrusted my own salvation and       -
          that of souls which her Son has given me
          to the Blessed Virgin, who is Mother and
          co-Redenptrice of all souls?
                                                         -
                      . 38. LOVE FOR THE CHUACH A N D THE POPE
J

                Do I r e a l l y f e e l t h a t I a m a s o n o f t h e
         C h u r c h , a p a r t t o f h e r ? A m I e n c e u r a g e d i.n
         b a t t l e by t h e t h o u g h t t h a t t h e Church
         l i v e s i n m e and is h o l y i n t h e measure t h a
         I a n h o l y and t r y t o l i v e a c c o r d i n g t 0
         i t s d e m a n d s ? D o e s t h e t h o u g h t a l s o e n c oU P -
         a g e me t o a v o i d s i n a n d i m p e r f e c t i o n 5n I? y
         l i f e ? Is i t a c o n s t a n t r e m i n d e r w h i c h       --
         s. p u r s m e o s ? _
              -                                  -    -  - -

    2.         Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t t h e C h u r c h n e e d s
         men who a r e i n f u l l r e a d i n e s s f o r b a t t l ~?
         D o e s t h i s f a c t b r i n g me t o t a k e a d v a n t a g e
         of o p p o r t u n i t i e s o f f o r m i n g m y s e l f b e t t e r ,
         and t o p r a c t i s e o b e d i e n c e w i t h more r e a l -
         i s m znd a t t e n t i o n t o d e t a i l ?
               Do I t a k e a n i. n t e r e s t i n s t u d y i n g    , the
         C h u r c h ' s t h e o l o g i c a l s t r u c t u r e ? Do I u n d e r
         s t a n d and l o v e it w i t h C h r i s t ' s l o v i n g i n r
         s i g h t ? Do I b e l i e v e i n a l l h e r c r i t e r i a       -
         a n d dogmas w i t h a l i v e l y , a r d e n t a n d l a s t -
         i n g f a i t h ? Does t h e i d e a o f t h e Church
         urge me o n , a s i t d i d C h r i s t , t o s a c r i f i c e
         m y s e l f c o m p l e t e l y t o make h e r p u r e a n d        -
         beautiful?
4.         Do I s t r i v e t o f o r m m y s e l f i n s u c h a        -
     way t h a t t h e C h u r c h w i l l n e v e r b e c r i t i -
     c i s e d b e c a u s e o f me? I s t h i s f o r m a t i o n -
     s p i r i t u a l , m o r a l a n d i n t e l l e c t u a l ? Do my
     c h a r a c t e r , manners and s o c i a l conduct            --
     come u p t o t h e s t a n d a r d d e m a n d e d b y t h e
     C h u r c h a n d c r i t e r i a cf t h e L e g i o n ?
5.        When I v i s u a l i s e t h e g r e a t p e r s o n a g e s
     o f t h e Church, what do I s e e               --only t h e i r
     human q u a l i t i e s a n d d e f e c t s , o r t h e i r -
     function as r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s of C h r i s t and
     t h e i r compl-ete and u n s e l f i s h s u r r e n d e r t o
     t h e Church's f i n a l v i c t o r y ?
6.         Have I a p o o r o p i n i o n o f a n y i n s t i t u t -
     i o n i n t h e C h u r c h ? Does e c c l e s i a s t i c a l -
     a u t h o r i t y b o t h e r m e o r r o u s e my r e s i s t a n c e
     e v e n t h o u g h I h a v e n o t come t o u n d e r s t a n d
     i t s p u r p o s e ? On t h e c o n t r a r y , d o I       joy-
     f u l l y accept a l l it implies?
7.         Do t h e p r o b l e m s o f t h e C h u r c h i n t e r e s t
     me a s much a s my own? A s r e g a r d s t h e p r o -           b
     l e o f expansion, do T s a c r i f i c e myself -
              ~
     f o r t h e m i s s i o n s , do I p r a y f o r them?          Do
     I p r a y $ o r s i n n e r s ? Do I o f f e r p r a y e r s      -
     and s a c r i f i c e s s o t h a t t h e Church w i l l          -
     p r o s p e r among h e r s o n s ? Do I t a k e a n . i n -
     t e r e s t i n l a y a p o s t o l a t e s , communications
     media and t h e f o r m a t i o n o f C h r i s t i a n en-
     vironments?
8.         Do a t t a c k s o n t h e C h u r c h c a u s e m e p a i n
     a n d w o r r y ? Do I s u f f e r w i t h h e r when          she
     i s p e r s e c u t e d a n d when h e r a c t i o n i s r e s -
     tricted?
9.       Am I a l w a y s F i r n l y b e h i n d t h e C h u r c h       ,
      defending her rights?
10.         Do I p r a i s e t h e C h u r c h ' s h e r i t a g e ? Do I
      t r y t o w i d e n my k n o w l e d g e o f i t ? A m I u s -
      u a l l y more i n t e r e s t e d i n t r i f l i n g t h i n g s ?
      Do I l e t o t h e r s know a b o u t w h a t g o e s o n i n
      t h e Church?
11.        Do I b e c o m e v e r y a n n o y e d w h e n I s e e e r r
      o r s a r i s i n g i n v a r i . o u s c i r c l e s ? Do I fa.c.c.
      them myself?
12.         Do I l o v i n g l y a c c e p t what t h e    Church -
      l a y s down i.n t h e i n t e l l e c t u a l a n d a p o s t     -
      o l i c f i e l d s ? Do I a l s o a c c e p t a l l t h e c o n -
      sequences of t h i s fide15ty?
13.         Do I t a k e a n a c t i v e i n t e r e s t i n t 5 e m a -   g
      i s t e r i u m o f thc: C h u r c h : encyclical.^,             --
      s p e e c h e s o f t h e t!oly F a t h e r , t h e i n s - t r u c t -
     i o n s i - s s u e d b y t h e Roman C o n g r e g a t i o n s , t h e
      L i t u r g y , C h u r c h dogma e t c . ?
4           Do I b e l i e y e i n t h e t r i u m p h o f t h e       --
      Church, h e r f i n a l triumnh w i t h C h r i s t , and
      a l s o her t r u e i n t e r n a l triumph, t h e triumph
      o f t r u t h ? A m I c e r t a i n o f my p e r s o n a l       --
      triumph r,ince I f i g h t f o r C h r i s t                r-iithin
                                                                       --
      t h e C h u r c l ? ? Do I f e e l t h e s ~ l p e r n a t u r a l
      s p i r i t o f t h c Church, t h e p e r e n n i a l p r e s -
      e n c e o f C h r i s t , summed u p i n t h c          words :
      " E c c e e g o v o h i s c u m sum" ? On t h e o t h e r --
      hand, do T look f o r success i n t h i s l i f e -
      i n o t h e r s p h e r e s ? Do I t r y , l i k e s o m e o n e       -
      w i t h o u t f a i t h , t o f i n d it i n worldly            hon-
      ours, i n top positions, in comfort o r                               n
                                                                        s e --
      s u a l i t y o r i n h o a r d i n g possessions?
15.          I n t h e d e p t h o f my s o u l , d o I s e e t h e
         C h u r c h a s my m o t h e r , a s i n f a c t i t i s ?
       S i n c e i t i s my m o t h e r , d o e s i t t a k e f i r s t
       p l a c e i n my p e r s o n a l i n t e r e s t s ?
113.         How s t r o n g i s my l o v e f o r t h e P o p e s t h e
       r e p r e s e n t a t i v e o f C h r i s t o n e a r t h ? Is it
       a n i n t i m a t e l o v e , imbued w i t h a p r o f o u n d
       f a i t h , f a i t h f u l i n s p i t e . o f everything?
17.          Am I a l w a y s r e a d y t o f o l l o w h i s d i r e c t
       i v c s , c o n f i d e n t t h a t I a m s u p p o r t e d b y an
       i n f a l l i b l e and i n v i n c i b l e r o c k ?
18.         Is m y p e r s o n a l c r i t e r i o n s u b j e c t t o       -
       t h e d i r e c t i v e s o f t h e Pope?
19.        D o I c o n s i d e r i t a g r a c e f r o m God             t o
       b e a b l e t o s e e him a n d l i s t e n t o h i s             -
       words?
20.          Am I a l w a y s p r e p a r e d t o - d e f e n d t h e    -
       Pope a g a i n s t i g n o r a n t , u n b e l i e v i n g o r    -
       h o s t i l e p e o p l e ? Do I t r y t o b e w e l l - i n -
       f o r m e d , t o prepare m y s e l f ~ f o rt h i s ? Do             I
       f i l l myself with s u p e r n a t u r a l s p i r i t ?
         o
       D I s t r i v e t o form myself w e l l ?
21,         no I c o n s i d e r mysa1.f d i r o e t l y u n d a ~- =
       t h e Pope's o r d e r s , a s an immediate e x e c u t
       o r o f h i s p l a n s ? How d o I go a b o u t carry1
       ing out h i s wishes i n t h e t h i n g s I d e a l
       with    --  the liturgy, prayers f o r his           in-
       tentions etc. ?
22.         D o e s my l o v e f o r t h e P o p e l e a d me t o
       a l w a y s t r y t o d o b e t t e r a n d t o work t o b e
       a s u i t a b l e means i n h i s h a n d s ?
23.         Do I d e v o t ' e a s p e c i a l ,   intimate place
in my p r a y e r s a n d s a c r i f i c e s to t h e wel-
fare of h i s soul, his h o l i n e s s a n d h a p p i -
ness?
                                                  . 39. PROSELYTISM        8   ,




1.
-
        Can I s a y t h a t I h a v e a s p i r i t o f p r o-
                                                             s
     elvtism?
2.        Do I l o o k upon p r o s e l y t i s m        as forming        1   ,
     a personal,           e x c l u s i v e g r o u p when I b e g i n
     my a p o s t o l a t e ,   o r a s s h a r i n g a l i t t l e of

3.
     t h e f i r e of l o v e which            I h a v e w i t h i n me?
          Do I b e l i e v e i n t h e L e g i o n ? Do I l o v e
                                                                           W
     t h e Legion w i t h deep c o n v i c t i o n and s t r o n g
     motivation,         without allowing sentimental
     ity t o c r e e p i n ?
4.      E e c a u s e o f t h i s , am I i n t e r e s t e d i n t h e
     Legion's growth and             spread       o f i t s good
     nase?     Do I r e a l l y c a r e n o t h i n g a b o u t a l l
     this?       -
50,       Do I r e a l i s e t h a t t h e p r o g r e s s o f t h e
  . L e g i o n d e p e n d s on my p e r s o n a l e f f o r t ? Do
    I? t h e r e f o r e make a n e f f o r t t o h e l p t h e
    Legion advance?
6.        Do t h e a c h i e v e m e n t s of t h e Legion en-
     c o u r a g e me,   o r d o I o n l y t a k e my own acf?
     ievements i n t o account?
7.       Do I p l a n t o make t h e L e g i o n g r e a t b y
!             means o f m a p o s t o l a t e ? I s t h i s o n e o f my
                                y
i
              m o s t f r e q u e n t i n c e n t i v e s f o r m a k i n g s a c r-
                                                                                   i
II      8.
              f i c e s and f o r m i n g m y s e l f ?
                 Do I p r a y f o r L e g i o n a r y v o c a t i o n s ? Do
              I make s a c r i f i c e s f o p t h e m ?
!   d   9.         A m I e n c o u r a g e d by t h e k n o w i e d g o    that         '


              by p r a y e r and s a c r i f i c e s f o r v o c a t i o n s I
              am c o l l a b o r a t i n g i n t h e m o u l d i n g o f a        --
              L e g i o n nf men who g l o r i f y t h e F a t h e r a n d
              save souls?
        10.         O n t h e c o n t r a r y , am I d i s i l l u s i o n e d wi
                y
              m L e g i o n a r y v o c a t i o n ? Would I w i l l i n g l y
              change          f o r a n o t h e r ? Hould I by a n y            --
              c h a n c e ~ r e f n or t o ~ c t ~ v o c a t i o n s i n -
                                     ~ t
              case others w i l l have t o share mynplight"
        11.   D O I do a n y t h i n g p r a c t i c a l f o r L ~ g i o n -
           dry v o c a t i o n s ?
        12.     - b o I t r y t o m a k e t h e L e g i o n known        as
              b e s t I c a n , o r am I p r e v e n t e d f r o m d o i n g
              S O by human r . e s p e c t ?

        13.       Do T t r y t o win h o n o u r f o r t h e       Legion
                   y
              b y m e x t o ~ n a lb e a r i n g and my b e k - a v i o - r -?
                                                                        u
        4           P r a c t i c a l l y s p e a k i n g , d o 1 makc t h c - -
              L e g i o n l o v e d , r e s p e c t e d a n d p r a i s e d by --
              l i v i n g i t s m y s t i q u e and d e d i c a t i n g n i y s e l f
              t o o u r common I d e a l ?
        15.        Dons t h e g r o w t h o f t h e C h u r c h i n t e r e s t
              me? Do I m a k e s a c r i f i c e s w i t h t h i s i n t e n t
             i o n ? Do I t r y t o k e e p w e l l - i n f o r m e d e b o u t
              h e r n e e d s , h e r p r o g r e s s and t h e d a n g e r s -
              she faces?
    I
16.        Do t h e i n t e n t i o n s o f t h s r o s a r i e s o n    -
      t h e first S a t u r d a y o f t h e month - . " f o r           --
      the cqnversion o f s i n n e r s and i n f i d e l s 1 '           ,
      have any meaning f o r m e ?
                                             -43. ESPRIT     DE CORPS




1.        Am I c o n s c i o u s o f b e i n g p a r t o f a body
     o f w h i c h 311 L e g i o n a r i e s f o r m p a r t ? ~ st h i s
     something p u r e l y s p e c u l a t i . v e o r h a s it any
     p r a c t i c a l consequences?
2.          I s my l o v e f o r t h e L e g i o n g r e a t e r t h a n
     my s e l f - l o v e ?    Does my l o v e f o r h e r i n c e n t -
      ives, criteria, instructions, directives,
     , t a c t i c s e t c . p r e v a i l o v e r w h a t e v e r I my-
     s e l f may t h i n k ?
3.           o
           D I consider my p o s i t i o n a s a p r i v a t e
     s o l d i e r a s an e x e r c i s e i n " e s p r i t dc c o r p s ?
     B e c a u s e o f t h i s , d o I know how t o g i v e u p
     my p e r s o n a l i n t e r e s t s a n d r i g h t s f o r t h e
     common g o o d ? Do I d o t h i s j o y f u l l y , p r o m p t -
     ly, d i s i n t e r e s t e d l y ? A m I s o d i s i n t e r e s t e d
.    t h a t p o s s i b l e changes o f p o s t i n t h e Legion
     d o n o t e v e n d i s t u r b me?
4.         Do I b e l i e v e f h c t t h e s p i r i t o f o b e d -
     i e n c e i s an Lndispensable element of                    the
     t r u e "esprit de corps"            ?
5.         A m I sure t h a t I h a v e carefully t a k e n
     a d v a n t a g e o f a l l t h e m e a n s w h i c h my s u p -
                                                       i
                                                                                 ..-
      e r i o r s h a v e p l a c e d a t my d i s p o s a l t o f o r m
      myself, t a k i n g i n t o a c c o u n t t h e o b j e c t i v e s
      of t h e Legion?
6.       Do I a c t i v e l y h e l p t h e s u p e r i o r s t o      --             1
                                                                                       !
      carry out t h e i r plans?                                                     --

7.         Does t h e c o n v i c t i o n t h a t I b e l o n g t o      -       i
                                                                         -
                                                                             \


      t h e M y s t i c a l Body o f t h e L e g i o n , w i t h i n             C1

      t h e M y s t i c a l Body o f C h r i s t , e n c o u r a g e m e
      t o b e h e l p f u l t o w a r d s o t h e r s ? Do I p r a y     -
      f o r t h e m ? A m I a w a r e o f t h e i r n e e d s ? Does
      my d e c i s i o n t o d o w h a t e v e r h e l p s o t h e r s
      most have any p r a c t i c a l c o n s e q u e n c e s i n
                                                                         -
      my o r d i n a r y l i f e ? '
8.        Do I a l w a y s h e l p my b r o t h e r s w h e n e v e r
      I c a n ? Do I d o s o i n a h i d d e n way?
9.          Have I a l r e a d y p u t a s i d e a l l l i k e s a n d
      d i s l i k e s , a l l envy, r i v a l r y , s p i t e and        -
                                                                                 E
      indifference, since " e s p r i t de corps" i s
      impossible otherwise?
10.                                        y
          Do t h e s u c c e s s e s o f m b r o t h e r s make          -       r
      me t r u e l y h a p p y ? Do t h e i r f a i l u r e s s a d d e n        t
      me?                                                                        .     i


11.      Do I - c o - o p e r a t e a s much a s p o s s i b l e i n
   t h e i n i t i a t i v e s a n d p l a n s o f my b r o t h e r s ?
   Do I s h y away f r o m t h i s for l a c k o f s e l f -
   d e n i a l ? If I d o n o t h e l p t h e m ,       do I a t
   l e a s t a v o i d h i n d e r i n g t h e m ? Do I c o r r e c t
   t h e m d i r e c t l y o r i n d i r e c t l y ? Do I b o y c o t t
   them, o r t r y t o wreck t h e i r p l a n s by                 --
   underhand t a c t i c s ? '                                                   -.
12.         Do I d e v o t e m y s e l f i n a s p e c i a l way,        -       s     .
      w i t h a s p i r i t o f c o l l a b o r a t i o n , t o t::e                  -
                                                              -
                                                                                 c




                                     170   -                                     C
        I --I
           I
                    13.
                            t o t h e ideas a n d w i s h e s o f t h e s u p e r i o r s ?
                               Do I know how t o s e e t h t n g s f r o m t h e -
                         b r i g h t s i d e ? Do I p r a i s e w h a t I s e e ? An I
           .l            s i l e n t about the defects I see, excusing
                         t h e d e f e c t s I f i n d i n t h e p r o c e d u r e o f my
                                                                                                    -
                      -- b o tphe riinotres r o r l b y- oatnhde r e ? t D ro n I l ey ? u s e t h e m
                      ' su                            l            s                 xc
         7                                    na l                   x e        a l
         kl
                    14.          Can I s a y t h a t my n a t i o n a l i t y e x i s t s           -
                           o n l y as a l e g a l t e c h n i c a l i t y , o r is i t ,
         I                 whether consciously o r otherwise a cause
                           of d i v i s i o n ?
    I           \
                    15.          Do I s t r i v e t o g e t r i d of everything                     -
                           which c o u l d i n t r o d u c e o r promote d i v i s i o n ?
                           Do I e n c o u r a g e e v e r y t h i n g w h i c h u n i t e s me
                           m o r e t o my b r o t h e r s ?
                    16.           Am I i n t e r e s t e d i n t h e i r a f f a i r s , t h e . i r
                            w e l l - b e i n g ' a n d t h e i r p r o g r e s s ? Does t h e i r
                            p e r s o n a l n e w s r o u s e m e t o j o y 01- s o r r o w , o r
-   I
                          . a m I o n l y i n t e r e s t e d i n the impersonal
                            r u n n i n g o f "my c o l l e g e " o r "my c o m m u n i t y " ?
                                                                                                 --
                    17.         D o I o f t e n write t o t h o s e i n t h e o t h e r                  -
     3              18.
                           houses o f t h e Legion?
                                Have c o l l e c t i v e d i s a g r e e m e n t s l i k e       --
    Il              19.
                          j e a l o u s y , r i v a l r y , envy and d i s u n i t y re-
                                          y
                          p l a c e d m own i n n e r t e n s i o n s ?
                              C a n I truely. s a y t h a t I h a v e s u r r e n d e r -
                                                                                               --
     I                    e d m y s e l f t o my b r o t h e r s f o r ' love o f
                          Christ?
                    20.        Eas c u l t i v a t i n g t h i s " e s p r i t d e c o r p s "
                          made m e f o r g e t t h e f a c t t h a t I b e l o n g         to
                          t h e M y s t i c a l Body o f t h e C h u r c h ? Do I s e e
                                                      I




      other?
                                                                  --
      t h e s e two r e a l i t i e s a s o p p o s e d t o e a c h             1
                                                            spirit -
21.        To a . v o i d t h i s , d o I e x t e n d my
      o f c o l l a b o r a t i o n and c h a r i t y t o a l l o t h e r
      u n d e r t z k i n g s which do n o t stem from t h e           -    -   I
      L e g i o n , b u t w h i c h work i n t h e same way            -
      f o r t h e glory of God a n d t h e Kingdom
      Christ?
                                                            of              .,
                                                                            1   I
                                                                          .   .



                                                 41.   FIGHTING. SPIRlT




1.         Do I ~ e a l i s et h a t I a m p a r t o f a n a r m y
     i n b a t t l e a r r a y ? D o e s t h i s make me       always
     l i v e my s p i r i t u a l l i f e a n d p u r s u e my i n -
 -   t e l l e c t u a l a n d human f o r m a t i o n w i t h  a        -
     s p i r i t o f f i g h t and vigour?
2.        Am I s t i m u l a t e d t o a c t i o n by t h e   Ideal
     f o r which I f i g h t ' s i d e by s i d e w i t h     sy -
     b r o t h e r s i n t h e L e g i o n ? Does i t m a k e  me             -
     enthusiastjc to-know t h a t I a m a soldie?
     i n C h r i s t ' s foremost b a t t a l i o n ?
           D o I l o v e t h e Cause t o which I have                   --
     s u r r e n d e r e d m y s e l f , a b o v e all t h i n g s ?      Am
     I ready t o g i v e my l i f e f o r it a t any                    --
     t i m e ? O r i s t h i s n o t h i n g more t h a n a             porn-
     a n t i c e x ? r e s s i o n ? Is it a l i . v i c g a n d        vib-
     r a n t r e a l i t y , m a n i f e s t e d ic c o n s t a n t e f f -
                                                                        -
     o r t t o f 1 1 l f i l l my o b l i g a t i o n s p e r f e c t l v ?
          I s my d r e a m o f b e i n g a h e r o t i n g e d with
     d e s i r e s f o r p e r s o n a l g l o r y , o r do I      dream
     o f this e x c l u s i v e l y f o r l o v e o f C 5 r i s . c ?
               y
     Are m a s p i r a t i o n s f e e b l e a n d s e l f i s h ? D o e s
     my w h o l e a t t i t u d e a t p r e s e n t i n d i c a t e t h a t
     I w i l l have t o s t a y i n t h e r e a r ellard, o r
     be a u s e l e s s o f f i c i a l o r a " f r e e pension"?             -I
5.          Do I ' b e l i e v e t h a t , a s a L e g i o n a r y , my
      whole l i f e and m i s s i o n i s one g r e a t b a t t l e ? '
                                                 y
      Does t h e t h o u g h t t h a t a l l m e f f o r t s a r e
                                                                              A   1
                                                                                  t


      s o l e l y f o r t h e Kingdom o f H e a v e n h e l p my                      1
                                                                          -
                                                                              "


     .work, o r d o e s t h e n e c e s s i t y o f f i g h t i n g     ,
                                                                              L.1
                                                                                      i
      f r i g h t e n and t e r r i f y m e ?
6.         Do I g i v e m y s e l f c o n c e s c i o n s i n my       --
     s p i r i t u a l l i f e , o r , l i k e every soldier,
     d o I d e c i d e on o b j e c t i v e s F o r f u r t h e r con-
     q u e s t ? Has t h e f i r s t of t h e s e b e e n         to      -
     conquer myself and t h e n t o a c q u i r e Legion                -
     a r y h o l i n e s s and p e r f e c t i o n ?    Following       -
     t h i s , do I s t r i v e f o r knowledge and c u l -
     t u r e t o i m p l a n t t h e Kingdom, a n d , f i n a l l y ,
     t o make i t a r e a l i t y i n t h e m o s t u r g e n t
     a3d strate'gic n e c e s s i t i e s of t h e Churchrs
                                                                       .  -   F
     i d e a l s ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I f i g h t           -
     and' e x e r t m y s e l f w i t h o u t a n y d e f i n i t e  --           -I
     goal?
        Do 1 u p h ~ l dt h o primary d e m a n d o f t h e
7,
     spirit o f c o m b a t      --
                               blind f a i t h   i n my
     Cause and i n i t s e v e n t u a l t r i u m p h , a s w e l l
                                                                              --   3
     a s a b u r n i n g l o v e f o r my s p i r i t a n d my          -
     fellow-combatants?
8.         Do I v i g o u r o u s l y c u l t i v a t e m a n l i n e s s ,
     o r d o I c o m p l a i n bitterly when t h i n g s g o                  !
                                                                              @
     w r o n g a n d g e t d i s c o u r a g e d when f a c e d w i t h       9
     failure?
                                                                              ....-
9.        Do I s e r i o u s l y o p p o s e a n y t h i n g w h i c h
     c o u l d t a k e f r o m t h e ' s p i r i t o f c o m b a t ? Am       --
     I lazy, i d l e a n d c o m f o r t - l . o v i n . g ? A m    I   -
                                                                        -
     s u p e r f i c i a l a n d i m p r u d e n t ? Do I l o s e c o u r
      a g e when d i f f i c u l t i e s come?
10.          H a v e I t h e s e n s e o f s p i r i t a n d d u t y ? Do
      I a 3 w a y s m a i n t a i n a s p i r i t e d a t t i t u d e --
      d u r i n g t h e Tiiore i m p o r t a n t i t e m s o f t h e --
      p r o g r a m m e ? Do I l e t my p r a y e r b z g o v e r n e d
      b y mood and a r i d i t y , o r d o I f i g h t b r a v e l y
      a g a i n s t l a z i n e s s , d i s t r a c t i o n and   sleepi-
      ness?
11.      Can I e x p r e s s t h i s f i g h t i n g s p i r i t      in
   an a t t i t u d e o f p a t i e n c e whenever t h e             --
   o c c a s i o n arises? Do I c o u n t e r a c t t h e r a s h -
   n e s s of c t h e r s o r t h e i r l a c k o f t a c t w i t h
   g e n t l e n e s s a n d s u p e r n a e u r a l s p i r i t ? Do I
   e x c u s e t h e m i n my own m i n d ? Do I w a n t t o
                    y
   s u r p a s s m b r o t h e r s i n p r a c t i c a l and pos-
   i t i v e love, giving myself generously t o                           -
   t h e m ? As a r e s u l t o f t h i s f i g h t i n g s p i r i t ,
   am I g e t t i n g t h c h a b i t o f c o - o p e r a r i n g    -
   w i t h a l l my b r o t h e r s w i t h o u t s e e k i n g my
   own i n t e r e s t ?
12.       Am I a t r u e p r i v a t e s o l d i e r , a l w a y s   --
      r e a d y to f i g h t wherever o b e d i e n c e d e m a n d s ,
      o r have I e v e r n o t i c e d p e r s o n a l ambitions
      f o r authority a n d p r o m o t i o n c r e e p i n g i n ?
13.        I s i t my g r e a t e s t d ~ e a mt o d i e i n t h e
      Z i r s t r a n k 0 2 t h e L e g i o n f o r C h r i s t my
      leader?
                                                                         --
                                      42.   SPIRIT OF INITIATIVE
                                                                                                I
                                                                                                ilr
                                                                                                li




                                                                                                -
1.           Can I s a y t h a t I h a v e a s p i r i t o f i n i t        - -
                                                                            -
       i a t i v e ? Do I l i k e t o h e e e c i s i v e i n my
       w o r k , o r am I t i m i d a n d c o w a r d l y ?
     . l i k e everything t o be running smoothly
       b e f o r e I assume r e s p o n s i b i l i t y ?   Am
                                                               Do I

                                                                 I
                                                                        -
                                                                        --
                                                                                                n
                                                                        --
       always h e s i t a n t ?   Am I u s e d t o l e a v i n g
       everything u n t i l l a t e r ?                                                    '    I
2.     - B e f o r e a c t i n g , do I r e f l e c t c a r e f u l l y ; "         --   . ..
     weighing up t h e a d v a n t a g e s and d i s a d v a n t -
     ages?
                                                                                                -I
                                                                                                .
                                                                                                &   -1


                                                                        -
3:         I n mySmind, does t h e s p i r i t o f i n i t
     i a t i v e c o n t r a d i c t t h e s p i r i t o f depend--
     e n c e ? A m I g l a d t o p o s t p o n e my p l a n s when
     t h e y a r e n o t , i n accordance with obedience
                                                                                '

                                                                                                :i
     o r d o e s s e l f - l o v e m a k e me c l i n g t o t h e m         -
     regardless?
4,      Tn w h a t f i e l d s d o e s my i n i t i a t i v e          --
     thrive     --the spiritual, intellectual,                          or
     practical?
5.        I n my i n i t i a t i v e s ,e s p e c i a l l y t h o s e of
     ; h e p r a c t i c a l o r d e r , .what i s my a i m       --   to
     p l e a s e G c d , t o b e o f h e l p t o my s u p e r i o r s
     a n d b r o t h e r s , o r t o win r e s p e c t a n d        to      -
1
.
-
    6.
          come o u t o n t o p ?
               I n t h e c o u r s e o f community l i f e , d o e s
          t h e s p i r i t pf i n i t i a t i v e make me l o o k f o r
1         w h a t e v e r I c a n d o t o make t h e o t h e r s h a p p y ?
                Why d o I n o t h a v e m o r e i n i t i a. t i v e ; i f I
          d o h a v e i t , why d o I n o t l e t my s u p e r i o r s
          know? C o u l d huma.n r e s p e c t , o r t h e e a s y         -
          g o i n g d e s i r e of n o t w a n t i n g t o b e b u r d e n e d
          w i t h e i t h e r h a r d work o r r e s p o n s i b i 1 i t . y ,
          have a n y t h i n g , t o do w i t h t h i s ?
    8.          Am I o n e o f t h o s e p e o p l e f o r whoa e v e r -
                                                                        y
          t h i n g has t o be s p e l l e d o u t ?
    9.          Am I p r e p a r i n g myself i n t h e s m a l l          --
          t h i n g s f o p t h e f u t u r e w o r k o f my a p o s t o l i c
          life?
I   10.         Have I a t any t i m e w o r k e d o n my own -
          i n i t i a t i v e i n a way a t v a r i a n c e w i t h t r u e
          obedience?            Do I r e a l i s e t h a t e v e r y t h i n g
          done o u t s i d e t h i s s t a n d a r d is wasted e f f -
          o r t a n d i s d i s p l e a s i n g t o God?
                             43. SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY




1.      Can I s a y t h a t I am a r e s p o n s i b l e p e r -
     son?
2.          What d o e s r e s p o n s i b i l i t y mean t o me?
     Is it t h e uneasy a t t i t u d e o f a p e r s o n             --
     u n d e r a s t e r n and p r e s s i n g o b l i g a t i o n , o r
     r a t h e r t h e awareness o f having t o respond
     t o t h e demands o f t h e w i l l a f God,                thus
     \ r i n g i n g me t o f u l f i l l my d u t y w i t h f e r -
     vour and p r e c i s i o n ?
3.         Do I b e l i e v e t h a t r e s p o n s i b i l i t y m u s t
     o n l y b e e x e r c i s e d on g r e a t o c c a s i o n s , o r
     r a t h e r i n . e v e r y t h i n g w h i c h my s u p e r i o r s   -
     e n t r u s t t o me?
4.         Do I r - e a l i s e t h a t my e t e r n a l s a l v a t i o n
     i s c l o s e l y c o n n e c t e d w i t h t h e way I r e -
     s p o n d t o t h e w i l l o f God? Do I a l s o b e l i -          e
     ve t h a t t h e f u t u r e p r o s p e r i t y , . t h e h o l i -
     n e s s and e f f e c t i v e n e s s o f t h e Legion, de-
     p e n d on my c o r r e s p o n d e n c e t o i t s s p i r i t ?
5.        Has t h e t h o u g h t e v e r s t r u c k me t h a t      --
     t h e l o v e o f God h a s b e e n a f f e c t i n g my           -
     d e s t i n y f r o m a l l e t e r n i t y ? Has t h i s       --
     m e r e l y i m p r e s s e d me, o r h a s i t become o n e
             o f t h e g u i d i n g p r i n c i p l e s o f my f i g h t        for
             holiness?
      6.           Do I o f t e n m e d i t a t e o n t h e l o v e w h i c h         -
             God h a s s h o w n b y g i v i n g m e H i s S o n ,       my -
             f a i t h , my p r i e s t l y v o c a t i o n , a n d a s h a r e
             i n t h e innumerable g r a c e s bestowed on t h e
             Legion's period of foundation?
      7.           Do I t r y t o b e c o n s c i o u s o f my v o c a t i o n ?
             Do I b e l i e v e many L e g i o n a r y v o c a t i o n s d e -

      8.
             p e n d o n how 1 l i v e m i n e ?
                                                                    .
                   Do I o f t e n t h i n k o f t h e i n c a l c u l a b l e         -
I,           s u p e r n a t u r a l s i g n i f i c a n c e o f my p r i v i l e g e d
             s t a t e i n l i f e , which c a r r i e s w i t h i t , w h e t h
             e r I l i k e it o r n o t , a g r e a t r e s p o n s i b i l -
                                                                                      -
             ity?
J     9.          Do I f i r m l y b e l i e v e t h a t God h a s e n t r u s
            t e d many s o u l s t o m e w h i c h c a n e i t h e r be-

l
i
L..

      10.
            s a v e d o r damned d e p e n d i n g w h e t h e r I become
            holy o r not?
                  C o n s i d e r i n g t h e g r e a t s i g n i f i c a n c e of
            my v o c a t i o n , d o I u s e t h e s m a l l e s t g r a c e s
            w h i c h God g r a n t s m e w i t h d u e r e s p o n s i b i l        -
            itv?
           .w i l Rl eparloi cs li an igm t ha a gt r mya t l mfees saang de
                                                      e
                                                              iway o f a c t i n g
                                                               t o future           -
             generations, do I s t r i v e t o drink i n t h e -
            ' s p i r i t o f t h e L e g i o n a.t i t s v e r y s o u r c e ,
             t o m o d e l my l i f e i n p e r f e c t h a r m o n y w i t h       -
             t h e L e g i o n a r y I d e a l , and t o a c q u i r e   the        -
             v i r t u e s w h i c h t h e L e g i o n l a y s down f o r i t s
             members?
      12.         Do I a l l o w my way o f a c t i n g t o b e                gov-
:I
      e r n e d by t h e r u l e o f "more o r l e s s f t , o r
      do I t r y t o p e r f e c t it t o t h e p o i n t o f com       -
      p l e t e f i d e l i t y o u t of l o v e f o r C h r i s t , f o r
      t h e L e g i o n , a n d f o v my v o c a t i o n ?
13.        Do I f a i l t o a c c o m p l i s h a n y o f my d u t -
      i e s s i m p l y b e c a u s e I f i n d i t h a r d ? Do I d o
      it b a d l y , o r o n l y h a l f - h e a r t e d l y ?
14.         Do I make a s p e c i a l e f f o r t t o f u l f i l l
      my e v e r y d a y d u t i e s i n a d v e r s e c i r c u m s t a n -
      ces    --   t r a v e l , i l l n e s s e t c . , o r do I use
      t h i s e x c u s e t o do them b a d l y o r t o l e a v e .
      them o u t ?
1:.                y
         Does m e f f o r t . i n p r a y e r , e x a m i n a t i o n
   of conscience, p r a c t i c a l examination, r e -
   t r e a t s , s p i r i t u a l e x e r c i s e s and s t u d i e s ,
   correspond t o t h e g r e a t importance which
   t h e y h a v e i n my l i f e ?
16.         What a r e my m o t i v e s f o r d e v e l o p i n g my
      n a t u r a l q u a l i t i e s -- p r i d e , n a t u r a l p l e a s
      ure, o r greater service f o r the cause of
      t h e Kingdom? Does t h e              same a p p l y t o       --
      s t u d i e s ? Am I moved b y c u r i o s i t y , o r t h e
      desire t o surpass others?
17.         Does my s p i r i t o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y p r o m p t
      me t o w o r k o u t t h e m o s t p r o f i t a b l e way o f
      d o i n g t h i n g s , a l w a y s w i t h d e p e n d e n c e o n my
      s u p e r i o r s , o r am I c o n t e n t t o p a s s t h e      --
      time with t h e l e a s t possible e f f o r t ?
18.      When      a n y j o b i s e n t r u s t e d t o me,       do I
      realise      t h a t t h e s u p e r i o r wants it t o be
      done a s     w e l l a s p o s s i b l e ? Does t h i s c o n -
      viction      i n f l u e n c e t h e . way I c a r r y . i t o u t ,
      or.do I      make e v e r y t h i n g a s h a r d a s p o s s i b l e
                                   -    180  -
          allowing imperfection or routine t o creep
          in?

I   19.         Do I f i n d , o n e x a m i n i n g m y c o n s c i e n c e ,
          t h a t t h e r e i s a l o t o f s e l f - l o v e deep       --
          down i n my s p i r i t o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y ?      Do

3         I t r y t o show o f f t o my s u p e r i o r s a n d          --
          b r o t h e r s ? Am I a f r a i d t h a t a c h a i n o f         -
          i m p e r f e c t i o n s w i l l a p p e a r if I f a i l t o  --
I         a c c o m p l i s h my d u t y ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , i s
          my s p i r i t o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y n o t h i n g m o r e
          t h a n a n o t h e r e x a m p l e of my s u r r e n d e r t o
          the w i L l cCGod?
1
1.      Do I realise that I must take ful1,res'
     ponsibility for my own formation? Do I-
     practise this responsibility in every as-
     pect -- my spiritual life, my moral per-
     fection, my intellectual development,the
     formation-of my character and my s-ocial   -
     behaviour?
2.    Do I make a genuine effort to form my-
   self, or is this a sophism to enable me
   to do whatever I like? Do I use it as an
   excuse to work outside the superiors' --
   authority?
3.    Am I a man of <&inciples, or a m . I at
   the mercy either of outward happenings or
   the fluctuation5 of my feelings?
4.    Have I y e t formed my character and '--
   will with enough determination and vigour
   to realise the Ideal for which I fight ?
5.      Am I controlled by my will or by my -
     feelings? Can I fulfill the Rule equally
     well in favocrable or unfavourable cir-
     cumstances?
      6.           What s t o p s m e f r o m b e c o m i n g a man o f .-
             duty    --     f e a r o f what o t h e r s s a y , l a c k  or
             sell?-denial, a l a z y 'and comfort-loving                    -
             o u t l o o k , a s u p e r f i c i a l vlctr o f L i f e , 02
             t h a a b s e n c e o f r r i l l i n g n s s s t o work?
      7.   .   Do I a l w a y s loolc t h e w o r l d s t r a i g h t i n
                                                                               -
I        t h e f a c e ? Do I c a r r y o u t my d u t y f a i t h
         f u l l y , b o t h i n f r o : .L- o f o t h e r s . a n d i n p r-i-
         v a t e , o r am I a h y p o c r i - ~ ' e .?D o e s my       cons-
         c i e n c e a l w a y s s e e t h a t I work s i n c e r e l y ?
W
L.J   3.       A r e my c o n v i c t i o n s s t r o n g e n o u g h   t o
         e n a b l e m e t o work i r r e s p e c t i v e o f         every-
         t h i n g and everyone?
I     9.         I s my s p i r i t u a l , i n t e l i e c t u a l a n d
            p h y s i c a l l i f e regulated by constancy ?
                                                                          --
                                                                             ..

1
;
I     10.         Do I s u p e r i o r s n e v e r h a v e t o w o r r y     --
            a b o a t me? Do I ltlske t h e i p a d v i c e ar?d ---
            t h e i r r e c o n m e n d a t L c n s my r u l e o f l i f e ?
.n
 .
i.1   11.         Do I s t u d y o u t ' o f - c o n v i c t i o n :' i n t h i s
              ,;pect,      i s my v o r k q u s l i f i e d h y p e r s o n z l
            e f f o r t ? Is it o r d e r e d , meth.odica1, i n t e n -
I     12.
            sive 'or' tenacious?
                                                       y
               Do I f a i t h f u l 1 . y k e e p t o m p l a n          for         '


                             y
            developing m s p i r i t u a l l i f e ?
I     13.          Do I .:2y t o make u s e o f e a c h moment t o
            g e t a b e t t e r t r a i n i n g ? . D o I w a s t e time       --
                                                                               --.
7           t h r o u g h l a z i n e s s and s u p e r f i c i a l i t y ,
            th-ough s l u g g i s h .     -;a:   shallow thinking, o r
            - 2 h ~ o u g hm a k i n g d o w i t h t h e v e r y n i n i r n u n -
            o f p - : i q f e c t i o n ? D o I scc t h i s a s a n a c t o f
-1
L
            t r e a c h e r y toxal3ds t h c L e g i o n ?
                                                                           7
                                                                               I!
14.         What m o t i v e s s p u r m e o n t o p e r f e c t i o n :
      l o v e f o r C h r i s t , rhe f u l f i l l m e n t o f God's
                                                                 --
      will, z e a l f o r s o u l s , o r l o v e f o r t h e
      Church a n d t h e L e g i o n ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d ,
      d o I c a r r y on b e c a u s e I want t o b e a g r e a t
                                                                           I
      r e l i g i o u s f i g u r e ? I f s o , why : s i m p l y--'
                                                                           -7
      b e c a u s e I happen t o b e i n t h i s s t a t e of              k
      l i f e , or p e r h a p s because I want t o a v o i d
      problems?'
                                                                  45.   S W S E OF DUTY
J

    I              I.
                              30 I b e l i e v e t h a t d u t y i s t h e b e s t a n d
I
                        s u r e s t way I c a n b e c o m e h o l y ? N h a t p r a c t -
                        i c a l a p p r e c i a t i o n d o I h a v e f o r i t ? Do I
                                                                                            -
        I

                        give t h e impression of not caring,                         of
                        being lazy about carrying it o u t , o r o f
                        b e i n g e n t h u s i a s t i c a n d c o n s t a n t ? Do I a c c
                        o m p l i s h i t o n l y now a n d t h e n ?
                                                                                             -
                   2.        I s my d u t y my c h i e f j o y , s i n c e i t           i s --
3                       t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f G o d ' s w i l l ? Does t h i s
                        make u p f o r a l l s a c r i f i c e i t c o s t s me?
            .- .   3.         D o I r e g a r d my d u t y a s a n " a c t of s e r -
                        v i c e " , t h e b e s t way o f f i g h t i n g a s a Lea
                        ionary?
                   4.         Why d o I f u l f i l l my d u t y -- j u s t               to - '
I .
 l
                        k e e p nar c i l 1 > e r i o r s h a p p y , p u r e l y f r o m r o u t
                        i n e , o r f o r l o v e o f C h r i s t and s o u l s ?

 I  .              5          I s t h e r e much c o n f l i c t b e t w e e n m y re-
                        s o l u t i o n s a c d good i n t e n t i o n s , and t h e    --
I                       p r a c t i c a l f u l f i l l m e n t o f my d u t y ?
                                                                                  points -
3
I
                   6.         How am I a s r e g a r d s t h e f i n e r
                        o f a c c o m p l i s h i n g my d u t y ? Do I d o i t            --
                        p r o m p t l y , w i t h g r e a t p e r f e c t i o n ? From t h e
i
I
      m o a e n t t h e p r o g r a m m e a s i g n s .me s o m e t a s k p o I .
      give myseif t o it e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y , with a
      s p i r i t o f f a i t h ? Do I d o t h i s a l w a y s , o r
      o n l y u h e n i t p l e a s e s m e ? Do I w a s t e t i m e
      d u r i n g t h e i t e m s o f programme I d o n ' t l i k c ?
      D o I do s o o u t s o f h a b i t ?
7.         Is t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f m d u t y a c o n s t -
                                                  y
      a n t c o n c e r n o f m i n e ? ~b I s t r i v e t o c a r r y
      it o u t w i t h r e s p o n s i b i l i t y and p e r f e c t i o n ,
      o r do I o n l y do t h e l e a s t p o s s i b l e amount?
8.          D o ' I a p p l y e a c h o f my r u l e s d u r i n g t h e
 -    day, a s t h e n e e d a r i s e s       --    s e l f - d e n i a l , mod
      e s t y , p o l i t e n e s s , f o r e s i g h t , e t c . ? Do 1-
      o f t e n b r i n g t h z m t o mind?
9.          Do t h e v a r i o u s c h a n g e s o f p r o g r a m m e     --
 -    s e r v e t o u n i t e me w i t h - G o d t h r o u g h o u t   the
      d a y ? Do I c a r r y t h e m o u t w i t h a l o t o f s u p
      ernatural spirit?
10.         When I am l o o k l n g f o r w a r d t o a p a r t i c u l
      a r i t e m o f programme a n d i t i s r e p l a c e d b y
      a t o t a l l y d i f f e r e n t o n e , w h a t i s my r e a c t -
      ion    --   d i s p l e a s u r e a n d a n n o y a n c e ? Do I dom
                  y
      i n a t e m s e n t i n o n t s and p u t t > i s s a c r i f i c e
      on t h e s u p e r n a t u r a l l e v e l ? I n a c c , ? p t i n g -
      t h i s , d o I r c a l i s e how much I owe t o God?
11.      Do I c a r r y o u t my d u t y f a i t h f u l l y a s -
   r e g a r d s t h e p r a y e r s I am b o u n d t o s a y ? Do
    I r e a l i c e t h c i r importance?
12.         Do I s t u d y w i t h t h e k n o w l e d g e t h a t  my
      f u t u r e a p o s t o l a t c w i l l demand t h a t I h a v e
      a v a i l e d of e v c r y ininute o f m p e r i o d
                                                   y               of ' -
      format ion?           .
      tell lies?
5.      Has excessive curiosity driven me to   -
      make mistakes?
6.      Am I discreet enough nat to inflict my
      states of soul on others? Am I discreet  -
      when passing on personal or fanily news?
7.      Are my dealings with my brothers marked
      by respect and discretion, or do I often
      damage their interests b y my levity, ir-
      reflection or lack of tact?
8.   Do I know how to respect the affairs of
   others    --
             notes, letters, papers etc, or .
   do I take advantage of them so as to be     -
   more or less informed about everything?
9.   Do I keep extra special watch over what
   I say or hear when the good name of the     -
   Legion, or of my superiors, brothers or
   fellow-men comes into question?
10.     Can I say that I am prudent or do I con
      fuse discretion with distrust, timidity
                                               -
                                               -
      or narrowness of outlook? With the excuse
      of being discreet, do I try to give my-
      self importance?
                                                    46. DISCRETION




1.          Have 1 . f o r m q d t h e h a b i t o f d i s c r e t i o n
      y e t ? Do I g i v e t h i s p r i n c i p l e a l l t h e i m - .
      p o r t a n c e it h o l d s i n t h e mystique of t h e
      Legion?
2.         Do I a l w a y s t r y t o know i n a d v a n c e        -    -
      what t o s a y a n d w h a t n o t t o s a y a s r e g a r d s
      p e o p l e , c i r c u m s t a n c e s , t i m e s and p l a c e s ?
3.           Do I know how t o k e e p t h e p r o p e r r e s e r -
       ve about any s e c r e t , o r about t h e L e g i o n ' s
     . p r i v a t e a f f a i r s ? Do I r e v e a l t h e s e c r e t s
       e n t r u s t e d t o m e by u s i n g h i n t s o r i n s i n -
       uat ions?
4.          Before s p e a k i n g , do I weigh t h e p o s s            -
      i b l e e f f e c t s o f my w o r d s ? Do I f a i l t o         --
      c o n t r o l my s p e e c h , a n d , a s a r e s u l t , d o I
      o f t e n . h a v e t o take b a c k what I say? ~ a v e
      I e v e r s a i d a n y t h i n g which I s h o u l d h a v e
      k e p t t o m y s e l f ? Am I i r r e s p o n s i b l e i n  --
      t h i s a s p e c t ? I s t h i s b e c a u s e o f my l e v i t y ,
      l a c k o f a t t e n t i o n , i r r e f l e c t i o n o r wound-
      e d s e l f - l o v e ? Has t h e d e s i r e o f a p p e a r i n g
     'well-informed1 about t h e a f f a i r s of t h e                  -
      L e g i o n l e d m e tomake m i s t a k e s , o r -even t o

                                 -   188   -
13.       Do I a l r e a d y r e d e e m s o u l s o n a s m a l l      --
                                                                      --
      s c a l e by t h e o f f e r i n g o f my d u t y , p e r f e ' c t l y
      l y performed, united t o C h r i s t ' s s a c r i
      fice?
4         Am I a l w a y s d i s s a t i s f i e d w i t h w h a t t h e -
      programme l a y s down? Do I j u d g e i t s o l e l y
      on w h e t h e r i t p l e a . s e s m e o r n o t ? Do I show
      t h i s ? Do I s p r e a d t h i s a t t i t u d e among        --
      others?
15.       Is it always necessary f o r m y s u p e r i o r s
      t o w a t c h o v e r me t o e n s u r e t h a t I accomp-
      l i s h my d u t y , o r aFe m p r i n c i p l e s a n d
                                              y                       --
      L e g i o n a r y e n t h u s i d s m e n o u g h f o r me?  How
      much p e r f e c t i o n d o I p u t i n t o 'my d u t y w h e n
      I am b y m y s e l f ? U n l e s s p u n i s h m e n t s o r    --
      t r i a l s a r e l a i d down, d o I r e f u s e t o d o my
      best?
16.       What i m p o r t a n c e d o I g i v e t o d u t y i n m    y
      conscience examination               --    am I u n a w a r e o f
      i t ? Does i t o c c u p y a p r o m i n e n t p o s i t i o n as
      t h e p r i n c i p l e e l e m e n t i n my e f f o r t f o r --
      h o l i n e s s ? Do I u s u a l l y s t u d y t h e c h i e f  --
      r e a s o n s f o r t h e f a i l u r e s I have i n t h i s
      p o i n t ? Do I r e m e d y t h e m e f f i c i e n t l y ?
17.       Do I c o n s i d e r my d u t y as t h e w i l l o f       --
      G o d ? Does i t sum up mywwhole l i f e ?
                                                                .>   ..
                                                       47. PRUDENCE




1.         Have I t h e m o d e r a t e a n d t h o u g h t f u l a i r
     o f a w e l f - b a l a n c e d a n d p r u d e n t p e r s o n ? .Do
     I c o n s i d e r t h e r e a s o n f o r my a c t i o n s ,         --
     t h e i r outcome and p o s s i b l e i m p l i c a t i o n s ?
     Do I a c t i m p u l s i v e l y , f o r b e t t e r o r w o r s e ?
     B e f o r e d o i n g s o m e t h i n g , d o I work o u t t h e
     b e s t way 05 d o i n g i t ? Does i t o f t e n h a p p -
     en t h a t , a f t e r doing something, I . n o t i c e
     t h a t it p r o d u c e s u n s a t i s f a c t o r y r e s u l t s -
                          y
     b e c a u s e of m l a c k o f c a r e a n d f o r e s i g h t ?
2.        Do I know how t o c a l m l y a n d f u l l y e x -
     a m i n e t h e p r o b l e m s I m e e t ? Do I s o l v e t h e m
     hastily?
3.     Do I f o s t e r p r u d e n c e as t h e b e s t way               -
   o f g i v i n g good e x a m p l e t o o t h e r s ?
4.     Do I p r a c t i s e p r u d e n c e . a n 6 f o r e s i g h t      -
   i n t h e way I u s e my t i m e , e . g . f r a e t i m e s ,
   study, p u n c t u a l i t y , appointments e t c . ?
5.        Am I p r u d e n t when i t c o m e s t o m a k i n g            -
     s u g g e s t i o n s ? Have I t h e h a b i t o f w e i g h i n g
     up m r e s o u r c e s
            y                  --  o f m e a s u r i n g my c o n f i d
     e n c e i n God, my p a s t e x p e r i e n c e , t h e d i f ?  -
     i c u l t i e s I have encountered. e t c . ?

                                -   190   -
6.          I n my d e a l i n g s w i t h o t h e r s , e s p e c i a l l y
      w i t h women, a m I p r u d e n t ? A m I c h i l d i s h ?
      Do I s a y t h e f i r s t t h i n g t h a t c o m e s i n t o
      my h e a d ? U n d e r t h e p r e t e x t o f s e e m i n g     --
      s y m p a t h e t i c and good-natured, do I d i s r e -
      g a r d my L e g i o n a r y t r a i n i n g ?
7.         Before f a c i n g unfamiliar circumstances
      d o I t r y t o f i n d o u t t h e m i n d o f my S u p e r
      i o r a n d t h e l i n e o f . c o n d u c t t o f o l l o w ? 0;;
      o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , h a v e I made m i s t a k e s         -
      a t t i m e s through c a r e l e s s n e s s o r overcon-
      fidence?
8.          Do I a v o i d s p d i k i n g t o o u t s i d e r s a b o u t
      c e r t a i n s u b j e c t s which c o u l d e a s i l y c a u s e
      me t o b e i m p r u d e n t , o r w h i c h c o u l d incul-•
      c a t e my s u p e r i o r s ? Do 1 - t r y t o b e d i s c r e e t
      a b o u t e v e r y t h i n g I t e l l o t h e r s ? Have a n y
      r a s h w o r d s o f m i n e r e a c h e d t h e s t a g e o f -.
      h a r m i n g o r a n n o y i n g s o m e o n e e l s e ? Have 1
      i n j u r e d m y s e l f i n t h i s way? E v e n i n unim-
      p o r t a n t m a t t e r s , am I o f t e n f o r c e d t o s t e p
      down i n shame when w h a t I h a v e s a i d i s r e
      p e a t e d ? Do I p a s s t h i s o f f a s s o m e t h i n g
                                                                           -
                                                                           -
      t h a t o t h e r s h a v e made u p ? When I s p e a k              -
      a b o u t p e o p l e and t h e i r a f f a i r s , would i t
      b o t h e r m e t o h a v e my w o r d s r e p e a t e d    to       -
      those concerned?
9.          Do I u s u a l l y t h i n k o v e r t h e q u e s t i o n s
      a s k e d of m e and t h e a n s w e r s e x p e c t e d ?
10.      Do I t e l l p e o p l e t h e t h i n g s I h a v e        --
      heard a b o u t thsm from o t h e r s           -- t h e i r way
      of a c t i n g , t h e i r d e f e c t s e t c . ?
11.       A m I p r o n e t o t e l l my s u p e r i o r my o p i -
                                                                  n
       i o n o f o t h e r p e o p l e ? Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h e
      s i g n i f i c a n c e o f what I s a y , r e a l i s i n g   --
      t h a t t h e most v a l u a b l e t h i n g a r e l i g i o u s
      has i s t h e opinion h i s s u p e r i o r h a s o f -
 '    him? Whenever I f u l f i l l t h e d u t y o f t e l l
      ing t h e superior about matters concerning
      t h e P r i v a t e Vows, d o I e x a m i n e my r e a s o n s
      f o r d o i n g s o ? Do I a l s o m e a s u r e my w o r d s
      carefully?
12.         Do I know how t o k e e p calm when I a m
      v e r y h a p p y , o r d o I l o s e a l l c o n t r o l ov-
      e r my w o r d s a n d g e s t u r e s ?
13.         A m I o n e o f t h o s e who f o o l i s h l y c o n -
      f i d e s i n everybody, t h u s t e l l i n g every-
      b o d y e v e r y t h i n g a b o u t my own a n d t h e      --
      Legion's p r i v a t e a f f a i r s ?
14.                                                              y
            Have I h i n d e r e d t h e f r e e d o m o f m s u ~
      e r i o r s by d e a l i n g w i t h t h i n g s o u t s i d e my
      scope     --  money m a t t e r s , a c c e p t a n c e o f    -
      s t a f f o r c a n d i d a t e s f o r t h e Legion e t c . ?
15.         I f I h a v e h e l d some p o s t f o r a t i m e ,
      d o I t r y my b e s t n o t t o i n t e r f e r e i n i t
      f r o m t h e moment I am r e l i e v e d , o r d o I
      k e e p o n t h e h a b i t o f e x e r c i s i n g my a u t h -
      o r i t y ? In t h i s aspect, a m I concerned                 -
      more a b o u t my own w e l l - b e i n g t h a n t h a t -
      o f t h e Legion? D o I p e r s i s t s o l e l y be-
      c a u s e I t h i n k my p e r s o n a l i t y w i l l s u f f e r ,
      o r also o u t o f s p i t e ?
16.         Am I c a r e f u l a b o u t w h a t I     read? Al-
      though I have p e r m i s s i o n , do           I avoid     --
      e v e r y t h i n g w h i c h c o u l d d o me   harm? Do I
      t a k e t h i s precautio'n only i n             serious     --
                                -   192   -
          m a t t e r s or a m I a l w a y s c a r e f u l ? D o e s t h i s
          extend t o what I look at, and what I s p e a k
          a b o u t in c o n v e r s a t i o n ?
    17.        A m I one o f those who u s e s " p r ! ~ d e n c e "
          t o h i d e his r e a l s e l f f ~ o r ro t h e r s , f r o m -
          t h e s u p e r i o r s and even from God H i m s e l f ?
    18.      D o I confuse prudence with timidity, d e
          ceit, l a z i n e s s , o r l e s s n o b l e m o t i v e s ?
                                                                           -
I   19.         In p r a c t i s e , d o I t r y t o b e p r u d e n t to
          m a k e m y s e l f m o r e Christ-like a n d t o servc!
          the Lcqicc better?
1
1,               Is 1               L 1 1 ~l 1 1 d i 1 1 l - ~ v l ~ i l . u f IIIY d e 1 i . c
            s t e l o v e f o r Chpist? A n I n a t u r a l l y f a i t K                   -
            f u l t o C h r i s t , w5o h a s g r a n t e d m e s 2 many
            fav.oui-s? A m i t h a n k f u l t o H i m o n t h i s a c -
            ccirnt?
2.              Does t h e t h o a g h t o f b e i n g o n e o f a n                      --
            " r , ! in b a t t l e a r r a y " e ; , c o u r g e m e t o b e
             3;,,
            cor,i,letely f z i r 5 f u l t o C h r i s t ?
n
3       c        Ain   I f a i t h f u l in t h e s m a l l a s p e c t s o f
            eic:;.>rd~;i    l i f e , s e e i n g i t a s tlls b e s t pass
                                            fo
            i b ? ? ; i z e p a ~ a - ' i i o ~ r .'-he h l z g e r t l 7 i r ; g s t o
            tor;,:, s i n c e g r c a t d e e d s a r e m e a s u r e 6            by
            t h e s o a l l o n e s w h i c h ccbne b e f o r e t h e m ?
t
    ..
    I
                  !lo
                        -
                        Icleai>'y          L:ndcrstand t 5 a t any con-
            s c i o ~ sI n f i 2 c l i J i y o f m i n e : s a s e i - i o u s            ----
            F a u l t ? T h e r e f c l r c d o I dir p e n a n c e f o r t h e
            o n e s 7 coxtmit?
c
C ) C       .    Do I r e a l i s n t h       a t o n l y by b e i n g f a i t h -
            f ~ l lin ~1.1 t h e d e t        a i l s c , .. -' ] ; r e p a r ? 1nY
            sov.2    s- car:,^ .:!1.!1.       God's p l a n s ? D I f e e l
                                                                        c
            .iha.t I .rep? i::f:i r l c l i t y m a k e s m e d 3 v i a - t e
                    ;                                                                     --
            i:ur.;ii&r f i - ~ i ~ : c1.:,:s.2 p l a n s ? q r , o n . t h e C:on'..
            tyayy,          Ct= 1 pre:c-          the     cri:erj.c,p         05 iazi-
   n e s s and easy l i v i n g                        --
                                                  "1'11 b e f a i t h f u l
   a s - l o n g a s i,ti o ' s t s .me n . o t h i n g f t ?
                               c
                           .. .                                                                    .   ,.   8



6. . - I n g e i n e r a 4 ,.. c a n . I s a y t h a t , I am f a i t h - - ,              .
                                                                                           ;
   f u l t o . G o d ' s ? ca1-l. t o s a n c t ; i t y ' , o r d o I . - -                 ,.
   p r e f e r a:- . i f e ' . o f . m e d i o c r i t y b e c a u s e . i t d e .
                  l
   mands l e s s s e l f - d e n i a l ?
                                                                                   -
7.       . ' Am 1. f a i . t h . f u l : t o m    y v o c a t i o n as a co-             .         .
       f o u n d e r o f t h e . : L e g i o n ? B e c a u s e o f t h i s ,ah :
       I c o m p l e t e - l y f a i t h f u l . : f a i t h f u l t o . t h e - - . ..,
                                                                                       .
       r u l e s , t o Legionary. t r a d i t i o n s , t o every-.--
                   '


       t h i n g God t.eac'hc..s. . u s , t h r o u g h N u ' e s t r o P a d r e
       a b o u t o u r p e r s o n . a l , , a n . d c o m m u n a l . l i f e ? . Am .-
       I f a i t h f u l i n ' d , e s i r .i n .g t o k n o w . a n d l i v e
                                                                . .
                                                                                   -
                     '... . .
       e v e r y t h..i n g -&c'i.l?
                          .       . .                              .    .
8.          D o I: t.hZnk of f i , d . e l i i t y t o -.my v o k a t i o n .              :..
      a s my" .pr:i'nc'ipaL :ob;%&i:gation?I n . -o.bder. t o                      -           '



      f u l f i l l i t ,..,. w ( i . 1 1 I c o n t i n u e , t o g .i v e m y s e l f
                                                                       . .
      t o i t f ~ l l y : , . . ~ ' ~ d . i f ' f . i ~ , ~ l t i cpsr e v e n t -
                                        'do ~
      me f r o m                   ah&ad?- Ha'v6.1 e n t h u s i a s m a i i h
      l o v e f o r . my. v o c a t i o n ? Do. 1': t i l l d a y d r e a m
                                                           s
      about o t h e r p r o j e c t s , and continua.-desir-
      ing t h e m ?                                             . .
                                                                                           ...              :
9.          Do I make..' u p ' - s o p h i s m s t b c o n v i n c e ' my-:                .,
                                                                                           ..
      self t h a t I a m ' b e i n p f a i t h f u l t o m y v o c -                        .'

      a t i o n , while i n a c t u a l f a c t , t h i s is' n o t
      t h e case.?      ... . . , . . . , . .
                         .                        -I.  .     . .
                             .   .*'!   ::..: ;                              ,     .
                                                                                 . . . .
                                                                                  .
lo.         A m I e x t e r n a l . l y f a i t h f u l : t p , m y v o c ~ t .- ... .. .
                     I
      i o n ? D O ' a v b . i d e v e r y ' t h i n g . w h i c h c o u l d --.- . ..  ,
                                                                                           ,


      t e m p t me t o a b a n d o n i t , e s p e c i a l l y ' i n m a t . .
      t e r s of o b e d i e n c e ' , r h a s f i t y , h u m i l i t y ,
                                                                             -   --
      d e a l i n g s w i t h t h e world, r e a d i n g m a t t e r , .
      etc.?
                                                                                     I
11.          A m I a l s o f a i t h f u l internally? Do I d e -
                                                                           --
       l i c a t e l y accomplish everything asked of
       m e ? Nave 1 C h r i s t i a n i n d r e l i g i o u s c r i t e r -
       i a , p u r i t y o f h e a r t , a s w e l l a s t o t a l de-
                                                                                     I
       dication of m will?  y
12.         Would I l i k e t o b e a r e l i g i o u s w h i l e         --     'I
                                                                                 i-.I

       s t i l l maintaining t i e s with t h e world,with
       a comfortable, easy a t t i t u d e r u l i n g out                --
       a n y s a c r i f i c e o r s e l f - d e n i a l ? Would I l i k e
       a s e n s u a l , a f f e c t i o n a t e , proud s e l f - w i l l e d
       s p i r i t d e s p i s i n g a l l t h o s e who a r e h u m b l e ?
                                                                                 R
1 3 .     How d o I s e e t h e c o r r e c t i o n s my s u p e r -             1_I
    i o r s g i v e ? Have I t o t a l a n d b l i n d c o n f i d -
    e n c e ? Do I t h i n k o f t h e i r g o o d e f f e c t s ? Do
    I f i n d it d i f f i c u l t t o a g r e e w i t h them? .
14.       I s my p r a y e r t o J e s u s a n d Mary a l w a y s -
      a p e t i t i o n f o r f i d e l i t y , f o r perseverance
      i n my v o c a t i o n , f o r t h e f i n a l p e r s e v e r a n c e
      o f b o t h myself and a l l m b r o t h e r s ?
                                               y
                                                                                 .-  I
15.         Does g e n e r o s i t y h o l d a k e y r o l e i n my
      l i f e , a t l e a s t i n s o f a r a s I am f a i t h f u l t o
      G o d ' s w i l l ? Do I t a k e h o l i d a y s f r o m s p i r i t   -
      ual effort?           .
16.                                y
            Do I m a k e i t m d u t y t o know my r e s p o n -
      s i b i l i t i e s , so' a s n o t t o f a u l t t h r o u g h i g -
      n o r a n c e ? Do I g e t a n g r y when s o m e o n e e l s e
                    e
      t e l l s m what t o do?
2-7.        When I commit a f a u l t , d o I go a n d a s k
      G o d ' s p a r d o n ? Do 1 a s k t h e s u p e r i o r s f o r a
      p e n a n c e , o r am I s t u b b o r n i n my f a u l t s , re
                                                                                 - 'I     1

      fusing t o repent?
                                                                                 .',
18.        Do I a l l o w human r e s p e c t t o b e t h e             --                1

                                                                                          1

                                 -
                                                                                 .    4




                                     196    -
      c a u s e o f m y i n f i d e l i t y ? Do I know how t o            -
      overcome d i f f i c u l t c i r c u n s t a n c e s ?
19.       Do I t r y h a r d t o b e c o n s t - ~ n t , i n o r d e r
      t o be a l w a y s f a i t h f u l ?
20.        How d o I r e s p o n d t o t h e i n s p i r a t i o n s o f
      t h e Holy S p i r i t    -- imncdiataly, constantly
  .   o r o n l y on c e r t a i n c o n d i t i o n s ? Am I f a i t h -
      f u l as long a s it does n o t a s k m e t o o                 --
      much? D o I u s u a l l y i g n o r e t h e m a l t o g e t h e r ?
21.         Do I a l l o w m y s e l f t o w a l k i n t o s i t u a t -
      i o n s w h i c h b n d a n g e r my f i d e l i t y , s u c h a s
      s t a t e s o f d i s t r a c t i o n , discouragement, t e e
      i d i t y o r d e j e c t i o n ? Do I l o n g f o r t h i n g s     -
      w h i c h a r e f o r e i g n t o t h e i n t e r e s t s o f God?
22.         H a v e I e n o u g h i n t e r i o r l i f e t o make t h e
      b e s t u s e o f t h e many g r a c e s God s e n d s me
      t h r o u g h o u t t h e d a y b y mearts o f p r a y e r , t h e
      Mass, C o m m u n i o n , v i s i t s , g o o d e x a m p l e e t c ?
23.         Am I f a i t h f u l t o t h e r e s o l u t i o n s I make?
      Do I b r e a k t h e m a s e a s i l y a s i m z k e t h e m ?
      H a v i n g o n c e made t h e m , d o I f e e l r e s p o n s -
      i b l e f o r c a r r y i n g t h e m nu.[? Do I              a
      l o t o f very complicated resolutions i n                      --
      o r d e r t o a v o i d f u l f i l l i n g them?
24.        Do I r e a l l y t h i n k .I c a n f u l f i l l   e v e n --
      t h e b a s i c r e q u i r e m e n t s f o r b e i n g a man   --
      without being f a i t h f u l i n every detail? Do
      I r e a l i s e t h a t t h i s v i r t u e is one o f t h e         -
      most i n v a l u a b l e f a c g t s of t h e C h r i s t i a n  --
      calling?
25.         A m I f a i t h f u l t o human f r i e n d s h i p     for
      l o v e o f God, o r simply t o f u r t h e r m        y      own

                                 -   197   -
      interests? H a v a I ever t u r n e d t r a i t o r o n
      a n y o n e who in the same way h a d placed his
      t r u s t in m e ? A m I f a i t h f u l i n m e t t e r s o f
      friendship, with a f e e l i n g for t h o s e pos-
      itive, delicate dctails, n c v c r d e s e r t i n g
      m y friend b e c a u s e I love God t h r o u g h h i m ?
26.                                                               -
            Is my w h o l e - s p i r i t u a l o u t l o o k summed
      up by the idea o f r&c&iving moi-.s tha.n:I .-.
      g i v e ? A m I content t o l i v e o n l i k e t h i s ?
                                                              49. SPIRT       OF WORK




         1.            Do I r e a l i s e t h a t s l o ' t h i s t h e ' s e v e n t h
                  d e a d l y s i n ? Does t h i s b e l i e f       have any
                  p r a c t i c a l r e s u l t s i n my d a i l y l i f e ?
         2.          D o ' I o f t e n g i v e i n t o i d l e n e s s ? Do            I
                  enjoy doing nothing?
         3.             Have I a n u n c o n t r o l l e d t e n d e n c y t o w a r d s
                  t a k i n g t h e e a s y way o u t ? D o I s y s t e m a t -
                  i c a l l y avoid a l l s p i r i t u a l ,      mental o r         -
                  p h y s i c a l work?
         4.            Am I i n d o l e n t     --      d o I work v e r y s l o w    -
              '   l y ? A m .I l a z y i n my d u t y ? Do        I automat-
                  i c a l l y p u t e v e r y t h i n g o f f till a f t e r w a r d s ?
I        5.             Am I r e p e l l e d . b y t h e i d e a o f s e r i o u s ,
                  c a r e f u l a n d r e s p o n s i b l e w o r k ? Do I ' a l w a y s
                  excuse t h i s aversion,                 in the      spiritual
I                 sphere, a s dryness o r desolation?
! F7
j J!     6.            Have I a s p e c i a l l o a t h i n g f o r o n e k i n d



1
                  o f work? Which k i n d ? What a r e t h e r e a s o n s
                  for this?        Have I y e t o v e r c o m e t h i s n a t u-r

   J              a 1 obstacle through s e l f - d e n i a l ,
                  d e s i r e of f o r m i n g m y s e l f a s a
                  man f o r t h e s a k e o f t h e Kingdom?
                                                                      from a
                                                                   complete

If   \
7.            Have I a n a u t o m a t i c d i s t a s t e f o r s p i d t
        u a l m a t t e r s ? For t h i s r e a s o n ,       am I s y s t e 9
        a t i c a l l y c a r e l e s s a b o u t t h e p r a y e r s I ha=.:
        t o s a y ? Do I c u t t h e m s h o r t , o r l e a v e t h e m
        o u t on a n y i d l e p r e t e x t ?
R.            I n t h e same way,do I f a i l t o c a r r y out
        some d u t y s i m p l y b e c a u s e I f i n d i t h a r d ?
9.           Am I c a r e l e s s a b o u t t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t -
        i e s w h i c h my s u p e r i o r s e n t r u s t t o me?
10.         Have I e v e r come t o r e a l i s e            the evil
      o f t h e s i n o f s l o t h ? Do I t e l l i t i n c.on
      f e s s i o n ? Do I r e a l i s e i t s f a r - r e a c h i n g
      c o n s e q u e n c e s i n s o f a r a s it k i l l s t h e s p i r
      i t u a l a n d p h y s i c a l a c t i v i t y which e n a b l e s
      m e t o b e h o l y , t o make r e p a r a t i o n , t o m e r i t
      g r a c e s e t c . ? Do I b e l i e v e          that this          -
      i s o n e o f t h e main o b s t a c l e s which s t a n d s
      i n t h e way o f my s o u l ' s p e r f e c t i o n         and
      h o l i n e s s , a n d w h i c h h i n d e r s my u n i o n w i t h
      God?
11.      Do I l o v e w o r k ?       Do d i f f i c u l t i e s i n v i g
   o r a t e me, a n d w h i p u p my c o u r a g e ,           o r do
   t h e y w e i g h on me t o t h e p o i n t o f d e p r i v i n g
   me o f a l l t h e means o f o v e r c o m i n g them?Am
   I aware of t h e f a c t t h a t            constant e f f o r t
    i s n e c e s s a r y t o p r e v e n t me f r o m s i n k i n g i n
   t h e m o r a s s o f my l o w e r i n s t i n c t s a n d gass         -
   ions?
12.         Am I a fi&ter by n a t u r e m from a c q u i r e d
      principles,      o r d o I h i d e my s u p r e m e l a -
                                                              z
      i n e s s behind a screen of       easy     going     -
      methods?
1 3 .       Am I n e r v o u s and o v e r - a n x i o u s ?     Do I by
      a n y c h a n c e c o n c e a l my l a z i n o s s b y h u r r i e d ,
      c o n f u s e d a n d d i s o r g a n i s c d u o r k ? I s my w o r k
      a l w a y s j u s t s o n ~ e t h i n gi h a p p e n t o b o d o i n g
      which n e v e r comes t o p r o d u c e s n l i d a n d p o s
      i t i v e r e s u l t s ? Could t h i s a l s o a p p l y t o      my
      e f f o r t s i n t h e s p i r i t u a l l i f e ? Am I a l w a y s
      o n t h e o u t l o o k f o r e v e r y p o s s i b l e way o f
      doing less than I should?
4         .Do I d o t h i n g s w i t h s p e e d a n d p r e c i s i o n
      w h a t e v e r t h e c o s t ? Do I l i k e t o h a v e t i m e
      t o s p a r c o v e r e v e r y j o b , o r am I r e a l l y       --
      e a g e r t o u s e i t ? Do I p u t a l l my f r c c t i m e s
      t o g o o d u s e ? Do I k e e p t h e p r i n c i p l e o f my
      L e g i o n a r y t r a i n i n g f i r m l y i n mind w h e n e v e r .
      I g e t a c h a n c e t o d e v o t e t i n e t o somc j o b ?
15.         Do I w a s t e t i n e ? H a v e I g r a s p e d t h e i m -
      p l i c a t i o n s i n v o l v e d i n t h e w a s t c of t i m e -
       i n t h a t r a i n i n g o f a n a p o s t l e ? What d o I
      make o f p e o p l e who u s e t h e i r t i n e w i s c l y - -
      d o I t h i n k them c o n c e i t e d , u n d u l y complic-
      a t e d ? D o 1 c n v y t h e m ? Have I a m b i t i o n s o f
      i m i t a t i n g t h e m , t h o u g h c o n t i n u i n g t o waste
      t i m e m y s e l f ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I m a k e
      a s i n c e r e e f f o r t t o i m i t a t e t h e m ? What d o
      I t h i n k o f t h o s e d e d i c a t e d w o r k e r s who a r e
      always ready t o volunteer......?
16.         H a v e 1 a s p i r i t o f i n i t i a t i v e ? Am I a n
      u n t i r i n g s e e k e r a f t e r ways o f d o i n g t h i n g s
      b e t t e r and b e t t e r ?
17.         A m I c a p a b l e of p l a c i n g m y s e l f a t t h e
      s e r v i c e o f o t h e r s a t t h e p r i c e of p e r s o n a l
                                                                          -
      sacrifice?
18.       Do I always v o l u n t e e r w h e n t h e . c h a n c e

                                 -   201    -
,
      p r e s e n t s i t s e l f ? Do I act o u t of l o v e f o r
      Christ, f o r t h e sake of g e t t i n g t h e habit
      o f . b e i n g r e a d y for a n y t h i n g , o r s i m p l y b e
                                                                                -1
      c a u s e I w i s h t o b e t h o u g h t w e l l o f f o r b-    e
      i n g so h e l p f u l and a b n e g a t e d ?
19.         D o I p r e f e r . t h i n k i n g a b o u t what I ' v e -
      done t h a n a b o u t what I s t i l l h a v e t o d o             ,
      o r about t h e souls I've saved r a t h e r than
      t h o s e s t i l l r u n n i n g t h e r i s k o f b e i n g c o-
                                                                       n
      demned?
20.         H a v e . 1 f u l l y r c a l i s e d y e t how i m p o r t a n t
'     t h i s s p i r i t o f y:ork i s i n t h e c o n t e x t o f
      t h e ' Legion's mystique?                                                E
      a b i l i t y t o o v e r c o m c t h e m r e n d e r e d m o r e SUE
      e r f i c i a l a n d i n c o n s i s t e n t ? A r e my m e t h o d s
      t h u s t h r o w n o u t o f l i n e ? Nave I f a i l e d t o
      reali.;e t h a t meeting diff.!culties                    i.s a n e-   s
      senxial paFt of every Legionary's career?
            P r a c t i c a l l y speaking, do I b e l i e v e t h a t
      t h e s u c c e s s o f my s p i r i t u a l w o r k a n d t h a t
      o f my a p o s t o l a t e , d e p e n d s s o l e l y o n my own
      e f f o r t , or do I give first              :,lace t o t h e             -
                                                y
      g r a c e o f God? Do I b a s e m l i f e o f prayer,
      my s p i r i t o f s a c r i f i c e a n 2 my b o u n d l e s s      --a



      confidence              i n God o n t h i s c o n v i c t i o n ? '
            J{ave I t r u e s e l f - k n o w l e d g e o r h a v e I      --
      a r r t v e d a t . f a l s e n o t i o n s o f my p e r s o n a l i t y ?
9.          Do I t a k e p a s t e x p e r i e n c e i n t o a c c o u n t
                                                                           -
      a s I 3 e g a r d s my s p i r i t u a l f o r m a ' t i o n ? D o e s
      t h i s a p p l y t o my i n t e l l e c t u a l , p r s c L i c a l -
      or a p o s t o l i c t r a i n i n g a s well?                                 'i

10.       On t h e c o n t r a r y , i s e v e r y t h i n g r e d u c e d           i
                                                                                     ,-A
                                                                                           J
      t o mere w o r d s , t o u n r e a l i s t i c programmes                  -
      which a r e i m p o s s i b l e t o p u t i n t o e f f e c t ?                ! i
11.     Have I r e a c h e d a s u f f i c i e n t d e p t h o f
   h u m i l i t y t o s e e e x a c t l y \:here I s t a n d , b o t h
                                                                          --         +I
                                                                                     i


   i n m l i f e a n d i n my a c t i o n s ?
         y
                                                                    51. IDEAL




        1.        Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h e i m p o r t a n c e o f h a v i n g
             a n i d e a l i n l i f e ? Do I r e a l i s e t h a t t o c o n
             t i n u e l i v i n g i n m e d i o c r i t y i93y mean       the
                                                                                   -
             w a s t e o f b o t h my t i m e a n d my e t e r n i t y ?       Do
             I d e t e s t mediocrity, whether it be i n spif
             i t u a l , i n t e l l e c t u a l o r human a f f a i r s ?
        2.         Is m y l i f e marked by a dynamism t y p i c a l                   ,

             of someone who w a n t s t o r e a c h 2 c e r t a i n            --
             g o a l ? I s t h e r e a n y t h i n g w h i c h a n i m a t e s my
             l i f e and i t s v a l u e , o r d o e s it g i v e t h e        -
             i m p r e s s i o n of b e i n g a n a n o r p h i c , u s e l e s s  -
         '   and c o l o u r l e s s e x i s t e n c e ?
1

        3.         Does my i d e a l demand g r e a t e r p e r f e c t i o n
             a n d s a c : ? i f i c s f r o m me? Are t h e s e d e n a n d s -
             t o t a l , 1 e . p e r s o n a l , f z r - r e a c h i n g a n d n o-
                                                                                  b
             l e , o r a r e th2y vague, p a r t i a l or,inere              --
             fleeting affairs?

I       4*        Have I o n e i d e a l o n p a p e r , w h i c h I use
             a s a facade while another r e a l l y determin-
             e s my l i f e ? Would I b e a s h a m e d t o r e v e a l
             t h e t r u e m o t i v e f o r my a c t i o n s ?
                                                                                -
        5.        Is C H R I S T t h e I d e a l w h i c h e m b r a c e s my
             w h o l e l i f e ? Have I b r o u g h t a l l o t h e r i d e a l s
    I
       c o m p l e t e l y z n d e r H i s command?
6.           Have I g r a s p e d t h e f a c t t h a t u n l e s s I
       l i v e w i t h C h r i s t a s my i d e a l I w i l l n o t b e
                                                                                -
       a b l e t o f u r , t h e r t h e e s t a b l i s h m e n t of H i s     -
       Kingdom, a n d t h a t I w i l l be a b l e t o g i v e                  -
       others n e i t h e r enthusiasm, nor love, nor
       t r u e k n o w l e d g e o f Him?
7   . u s ...<Does-- h r i sIt ' si n fglraemaet d ewsi t h r oz ue sael
            iasm
                   C
                           am
                                                 n s a          y
                                                               m enth-
                                                               by t h e         -
       i d e - a o f God g i v i n g H i m s e l f t o u s ? D Io          --
       f e & l H i s l o v e a s a l i v i n g i n f l u e n c e i n my
       l i f + ? Do I l o v e H i m p e r s o n a l l y , a s a r e s -
       p o h s e o f H i s g r e a t l o v c f o r me?
8.           What a r e t h e c o n s e q u e n c e s o f my l o v e       -
       f o r C h r i s t -- t h a t I a v o i d s i n , t h a t I joy:
       f u l l y f u l f i l l Bi.s w i l l , o r t h a t I s t r i v e
       t o do g r e a t t h i n g s f o r H i m and f o r H i s            --
       Kingdom?
9.           As a r e s u l t , do I l i v e i n a n a t m o s p h e r e
       of n o b l e g r e a t n e s s , o f e n t h u s i a s t i c s u r r e n-
       d e r and o f generous p l a n s ? O r , do I l i v e                   -
       i n s t e a d i n a world of c o w a r d i c e and f e a r - '
       o f t o t a l s u r r e n d e r , i n my d a i l y l i f e ?
10.          C o u l d I d e e c ~ i b emy l o v e f o r J e s u s a s         -
                                '
       being deep o r s e n t i m e n t a l , i n t e n s e o r s u
       e r f i c i a l ? Do      show i t i n a p r a c t i c a l way?
       I s t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f my d u t y t h e m o s t    us
                                                                                    ~


       u a l f o r m my l a v e f o r C h r i s t t a k e s ?
11.         Do I a t l e a s t t r y t o d e e p e n m m o t i v e s
                                                               y
       f o r t h e . l o v c r r ! ~ i . ~ : h owe l l i l n ?
                                             I
12.      D o I p r a y God t o g r a n t m e t h i s l o v e ,             -
      Anowing i t i s t h e g r e a t e s t g i f t He c o u l d
       give me?
13.       Does t h e t h o u g h t . of C h r i s t i n t e r e s t m e
       more t h a n a n y o t h e r t h o u g h t ? .
      .t h e Do I knowHCi sh?r iDs ot et ss
              same a s
                                              c r i t e r i a ? h r e mine
                                              H i s c o n s t q q t example
                                                                              -
      h e l p m e t o s e e e v e n t s and persons j u s t                 :
                                                                           a:
      H e d i d ? Do I t h i n k 1 c a n g i v e w h a t i s ex.-
      p e c t e d o f a p r i e s t w i t h o u t h a r m o n i s i n g my
      c r i t e r i a c o m p l e t e l y w i t h C h r i s t ' s ? I n my
      e v e r y d a y l i f e , do I s e e t h e F a t h e r ' s hand
      i n e v e r y t h i n g , knowing t h a t H e a r r a n g e s -
      a l l t h i n g s f o r o u r g r e a t e r benefit?.^^ my
      a t t i t u d e s d i f f e r from C h r i s t ' s v i e w s on
      s i n , on t h e w o r l d , o r on fame and w e a l t h ?
            Do 1 s e e m y s e l f a s a n o t h e r C h r i s t , a l -
      m o s t i n s t i n c t i v e l y g r a s p i n g how e v e r y t h i n g
      s t a n d s i n r e l a t i o n t o Him?
16.         Do I make C h r i s t ' s i n t e r e s t s my own ?
      Do I b e l i e v e t h a t He c a r e s a b o u t a l l my
      a f f a i r s , a n d t h a t a l l my c r i t e r i a h a v e a n
 ,    e f f e c t on t h e Sacred Heart o f e i t h e r p l e a s
      ing or displeasing i t ?
                                                                             -
17.        -Does t h i s have        a b e a r z n g o n a l l my d e a l
      ings with Christ?'             D o e s i t move m e t o p u t -
      my c o n d u c t o n t h e     s a m e p l a n e a s H i s ? Am I
      a n x i o u s t o become
      n e a r as p o s s i b l e t
                                     l i k e Him? I s b e i n g a s
                                     o H i m my g r e a t e s t a i m i n
                                                                             -
      life?
18.         I s t h e r e a n y a s p e c t o f my c o n d u c t w h i c h
      d i f f e r s a l o t from C h r i s t ' s ? Uhich             facet
      o f H i s p e r s o n a l i t y m o s t a t t r a c t s my p e r s o n
      a1 i m i t a t i o n  --    H i s s e l f - d e n i a l , obetlience.
      purity,       love f o r H i s Father o r zeal               for        -
      souls?
I!).      Do I b e l i e v e i n t h e t r a n s f o r m a t i o n       --
    which l o v e      f o r C h r i s t c a n e f f e c t ? Do I r e
    g a r d l o v e f o r C h r i s t a s t h e key t o s u c c e s s
    i n my p e r s o n a l a n d a p o s t o l i c l i f e , a n d a s
    t h e t h i n g w h i c h c a n make a n y e x i s t e n c e
    worthwhile?
                                                                         --
20.         C o u l d my t e p i d i t y a n d w e a k n e s s be d u e
      f u n d a m e n t a l l y t o a c o o l i n g o f f o f . my l o v e
      for Christ?
      -




            Are t h e r e e l e m e n t s o f b i t t e r n e s s and     re.
      s e n t m e n t i n my r e l i g i o u s l i f e ? C o u l d t h i s
      s t e m f r o m t h e f a c t t h a t . t h e vows a n d r u l e s
      w i t h o u t C h r i s t ' s l o v e , s t i f l e my e f f o r t ?
      On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I make t h e vows a n d
      r u l e s . l i v e d w i t h v i g o u r :and a t t e n t i o n t o
      d e t a i l , a d e m o n s t r a t i o n o f my e n t h u s i a s m
      for Christ?                                                                 1- i


            Am I f u l l y      aware t h a t i f I l o s e ' t h e       -
      support of m love f o r Christ, a l l t h e
                           y                                             --
      most v i l e and u n c o n t r o l l e d p a s s i o n s w i l l        -
      g e t c o n t r o l o f m h e a r t ? Do I r e a l i s e t h a t
                                 y
      t h e s o l u t i o n t o t h e g r e a t e s t problems           --
      w h i c h f a c e me d o e s n o t l i e i n r e p r e s s i n g
      t h e m , b u t r a t h e r i n d i r e c t i n g my l o v e t o -
      wards C h r i s t ?
            W i l l '1 s u c c e e d i n g i v i n g o t h e r s a   b
      i n g l o v e f o r C h r i s t w i t h o u t t o o much d i
      i c u l t y ? Does i t c o s t m e a g r e a t e f f o r t
      s p e a k e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y a b o u t Him? Do I
      p l y a v o i d t h i s t o p i c of c o n v e r s a t i o n ?
            Am I h a p p y t o h a v e c o n s e c r a t e d my 1    :
      t o t h e most a d m i r a b l e and w o r t h y N s s t a r              --
      b o t h i n Heaven a n d o n e a r t h ? I s H e t h e oil*
                                                                                  -
      w h o s o l . v e n - 1 1 1 my rli f f . ; c t ~I l i t . , : ? 1s i t l i t -
      W ~ I O rnak*.!~  "11

                                  r~t
      i i p p r ~ i r ~ t r n c : :.')
                                      1 or. ill 1 ajl I   II
                                                                                  -
                                                                       S drl<l d i s



25.         Do I l i v o t h e i d e a l ol b e i n g b e t t e r             --
      e a c h d a y and o f r e s e m b l i n g C h r i s t a l i t t l e
      more?
26.          Do 1 u n d e r s t a n d t h e f a c t t h a t t h e f u l -
      f i l l m e n t of a l l m a s p i r a t i o n s l i e s i n l i ~
                                    y
      ing m I d e a i f u l l y ? Do I f e e l n o n e e d o f -
                y
      a n y t h i n g e l s e ? Am I b l i n d t o t h e f a c t t h a t
      a s long a s I c l i n g t o h a l f - h e a r t e d c r i t c r -
      i a I f i n d . m y s e l f d e p r i v e d o f C h r i s t a n d d-e
      p r i v e d of p e r s o n a l h a p p i n e s s ?
27.         ~ o e s h e B l e s s e d V i r g i n , my M o t h e r , f i l l
                  t
      me w i t h e n t h u s i a s m a n d win me t h e g r a c e s I
      n e e d t o know a n d l o v e H e r D i v i n e Son b e t -
      ter?        .  .
t




I                                                  52. LOVE FOR                THE CRUCIFIX




    1.               Am I a c c u s t o m e d t o c o n t e m p l a t e J e s u s o n
          .   t h e , C r o s s ? I s c h i s p e r h a p s my u s u a l m e d i t -
              a t i o n o n H i s p e r s o n ? Do I o f t e n m e d i t a t e -
              on t h e c r u c i f i x ?
    2.              D o I t r y t o understand and meditate                  on
              C h r i s t ' s m o t i v e s f o r d y i n g on a c r o s s ?  1s.
              t h e g l o r y o f the F a t h e r t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t
              t h i n g i n my l i f e , j6st a s i t w a s ' f o r ~ h r i s t ?
              ?,ike H i m , do I s e e s i n a s t h e most shame-
              f u l e v i l , t h e g i v i n g o f my l i f e f o r o t h e r s
              a s t h e most s u b l i n e i d e a l , and t h e s a l v a t -
              i o n o f s o u l s as t h e most p r e c i o u s p r i z e ?
    .'I
    3.              I s my s o u l t o u c h e d by t h e s i g \ t o f         God
              d y i n g o n t h e C r o s s f o r l o v e o f m e ? Do I r e
              gret'my i n f i d e l i t i e s o r do I t h i n k t h a t
                                                                                                       -
                                                                                                      --
              C h r i s t ' s s a c r i f i c e was i n e v i t a b l e , o r t h a t
              t h e r e was n o r e a s o n f o r H i m t o s a c r i f i c e                             -
              H i m s e l f f o r men?
    4,              Do I o f t $ . ! ) I! i f , : , m y c r u c i f ii! l ( : , v i n g l y 7
                                                      l
              D r , T t h a n k i l i r u IOII l i s ~ c d ( : r n ~ ) t i o nDo I r e             ?
                                                                                                        -
              n c ~ n , t ~ (1~ .r1 1 1 ,1111 t l t ) r t x 1 3 n l y I ~ ~ . I : . I I I : ; ~ - I : S U I T
                            i 1
              ursed f a r n ~ c o r 1 l l l c C r o s s ?
    *
    5.              Does C h r i s t , who s o w o n d e r f u l l y con                              -
                                                   -    910     -
               confirmed H i s d o c t r i n e - b y H i s death,.rouse
               my e n t h u s i a s m ?
         6           D o e s t h e c r u c i f i e d C h r i s t s t i m u l a t e my
               l o v e ? When I c o n t e m p l a t e H i m , am I u n a b l e
               t o r e s i s t h i s d e m a n d s ? D o e s t h i s b r i n g me
               t o adopt an a t t i t u d e of sincere.qurrender,

iI       7
               o r i s t h i s mere s e n t i m e n t a l i t y ?
                      Do I t h i n k o f C h r i s t a s a n e x a m p l e , b u t
                a l i f e l e s s one? O r , do I s e e H i m a s a             --
                source of living graces f o r acquiring Leg-
                i o n a r y and p r i e s t l y h o l i n e s s ?
I                                                                      ..
i        8            D o e s t h e s i g h t o f t h e c r u c i f i x move me
               t o l o v e s a c r i f i c e ? Do I o f t e n m e d i t a t e o n
               t h e Gospel t e x t s which s t r o n g l y p o i n t o u t
               t h e n e c e s s i t y o f s e l f - d e n i a l ? Does t h i s -

.O
I
               move m e t o u n d e r t a k e a c o n s t a n t s e l f - c r u c -
               i f i x i o n i n t h e d e t a i l s o f my d u t y , i n t h e
               minute f u l f i l l m e n t o f t h e voxs, and i n a l l
               t h e v i r t u e s , w i t h i n t h e s p e c i f i c framework
               o f t h e Legionary mystique?
         9,.          Have I y e t f o r m e d t h e h a b i t . o f c o m p a r -

!i
i
     I         i n g t h e s u f f e r i n g s o f C h r i s t on t h e C r o s s
               w i t h t h e - w i d e r a n g e o f s u f f e r i n g i n my  -
               p r 5 e s t l y l i f e , o r do I t h i n k t h a t C h r i s t ' s
               d e a t h was s o m e t h i n g d i s t a n t , a l m o s t  for-
               e i g n t o my d a i l y l i f e ? Do t h e w o r d s o f S t .
               P a u l i n C o l . 1 : 2 4 mean a n y t h i n g i n my l i f e
               ' ' I n my own b o d y I d o w h a t I c a n t o make u p
               a l l t h a t h a s s t i l l t o b e undergone by              --
               C h r i s t f o r t h e s a k e o f H i s Body, t h e         --
               Church" ?
         10.        A m I i n s i n c e r e i n c a r r y i n g m c r o s s , rcn
                                                                 y
               d u c i n g i t t o mere e x t e r n a l s , o r d o I a F p l y
      a l l my w i l l - p o w e r t o u p r o o t i n g t h e ' e g o ' -
                     y
      from a l l m i n t e n t i o n s , t h o u g h t s and a c t +
      ions?
11.         Have 1 y e t e m b r a c e d my c r o s s w i t h s i n -
      c e r i t y , l o y a l t y and g e n e r o s i t y , u n i t i n g my
      s e l f t o C h r i s t ' s i n t e n t i o n of g l o r i f y i n g -
      t h e F a t h e r and s a v i n g s o u l s ? O r do I do            -
      t h i s b e c a u s e I have no o t h e r c h o i c e ?
12.      What i s my a t t i t u d e d u r i n g Mass? Have
      I grasped t h e f a c t t h a t I cannot e n t e r t h e
      Kingdom o f Heaven w i t h o u t t r i a l s a n d . s u f f -
      erings?
13.      A m I c o n t e n t t o h a v e n o t h i n g more t h a n
      my c r u c i f i x ? Do I t a k e p r i d e i n i t a s S t .
      Paul did?
14.        Do I t r u s t i n C h r i s t ? Do I f e e l s u p r e m -
      e l y c o n f i d e n t , m a s t e r o f m y s e l f , when    --
      Christ is with me?
15.         T h e r e f o r e c a n I s a y t h a t I l i v e i n un-
      i o n w i t h Him? Do I t r y t o i m i t a t e . ~ i m by.
      o f f e r i n g myself t o t h e Father with t h e              --
      same s p i r i t a s H e d i d ? Do I a l w a y s s e e t h e
      L e g i o n a r y v i r t u e s as e x e m p l i f i e d i n -  -
      Christ's life? '
16.       Is t h e C r o s s t h e c l i m a x o f my l i f e ,         as
      i t was t h e c l i m a x of C h r i s t ' s 7
                                   53. .JZ'A Y OF THE CROSS




1.         How d o I d o t.he way o f t h e C r o s s ? . Do I
     r e g a r d i t a s j u s t a n o t h e r i t e m on t h e p r o -
     gramme, as a s i m p l e p i o u s p r a c t i s e ,      o r a::
     something w i t h o u t meaning?
2.        Do I t r y t o d o a l l i n my p o w e r t o w i n                -
     t h e graces connected with i t ?
3.         Do I c o n s i d e r i t a s t h e sum a n d s u b s t -
     a n c e o f a l l t h e v i r t u e s o f C h r i s t ? Do        I
     t h i n k o f i t a s a n a p p r e c i a b l e means o f s a-       n
     c t i f i c a t i o n , i n a s m u c h a s I r e c e i v e t h e --
     g r a c e s He won f o r me i n t h e v e r y m y s t e r i e s
     I am c o n t e m p l a t i n g ?
4.         While t h i n k i n g o v e r t h e s e s o r r o w f u l h a 2
     p e n i n g s , am I a w a r e o n l y o f t h c e x t e r n a l
     a s p e c t s ? Do I c o n f i n e m y s e l f t o s e n t i m e n t - '
     a 1 i d e a s , or d o I t r y t o p e n e t r a t e C h r i s t s
     i n t i m a t e a n d i n t e r n a l s u f f e r i n g s . , H i s f e e-
                                                                              l
     i n g s and H i s a t t i t u d e s ?
5.         Do I l o v i n g l y a n d r e v e r e n t l y c o n t e m p l a t e
     t h e moment o f c l i m a x t o w a r d s w h i c h t h e e n -
     t i r e l i f e o f One who was f u l l y God was d i r
     e c t e d ? D o I do s o with t e n d e r l o v e ,            like-
     s o m e o n e who r e m e m b e r s t h e c r o w n i n g d e e d o f
     h i s l e a d e r ? Am I f i l l e d w i t h l o v e a n d      --       '7
     faith?                                                                    i
6.         A m I c o n s t a n t l y a w a r e d u r i n g t h e Way of       ,   --
                                                                                   I
     t h e Cross t h a t a l l t h i s has been done                for            I
     my s a k e ? Do I b e l i e v e t h a t i t was I            who         LI
     t r e a t e d C h r i s t l i k e t h i s ? Does t h i s t h o u g h t
     prompt m e t o m a k e up f o r t h e wrong I h a v e
     d o n e Him?
7.         Do I f o s t e r a b i t t e r h a t r e d t o w a r d s s i n ,
     w h i c h r e d u c e d C h r i s t t o sue:-I a c t a t e ?             I4I
                                                                              !,
8.         When p r a y i n g t h e Way o f t h e C r o s s , d o I
     3 e a r i n m i n d my H o l y M o t h e r , t h e M o t h e r o f
                                                                       -
     J e s u s ? Do I p l a c e m y s e l f u n d e r h e r p r o t e c t
     ion?
1.              Do I o f t e n t h i n k o f t h e ' f o u r t h vow?Have
          I c o n s i d e r e d c a r e f u l l y what i t i m p l i e s and
          d e m a n d s ? A m I d i s p o s e d t o some d a y t a k e      -
          t h i s s u p r e m e s t e p i n my c o n s e c r a t i o n t o -
          God?
2.             Do I t h e r e f o r e p r e p a . r e f o r i t b y m e a n s
         of a s i n c e r e surrender?Do I study m y f a u l t s
         a t t h e i r d e e p e s t r o o t s ? Do I e x a m i n e nly -
         a f f e c t i o n s a n d c r i t e r i a ? Do I s t u d y my v i -  r
         t u c s -- t h e i r o r i g i n , r e a l i t y a n d p r a c t i -
     .   cal expression?
3.                                                                         -
                Do I f o s t e r a c o m p l e t e l a c k o f s e l f - i n
         , t e r e s t a s r e a a r d s *my l i f e o f p i e t y , my
          s e a r c h f o r God, a n d a l l my u n d e r t a k i n g s ?
4.             Do I p r a c t i c y e t r u e p u r i t y o f i n t e n t i o n
         a s . r e g a r d s my p e r s o n a l f o r m a t i . o n a n d its
         e x t e r n a l e x p r e s s i o n ? Am I a t l e a s t s i n c e r e
         i n my f i g h t t o ' r e d u c e my a i m i n l i f e t o
         t h e s o l e r e a l i t y o f God? When t h e d a y --
         c o m e s t o p r o n o u n c e t h i s vow, w i l l I b e -
         assured t h a t I d i d a l l I could about t h i s
         a s p e c t ? O r d o I a l l o w h a b i t s which a r e de-
         c i d e d l y e g o i s t i c t o go on d e v e l o p i n g ?      Do
       I condone h a b i t s which f o s t e r a m b i t i o n i n
       a c o n s c i o u s way?
5.           I n p r a c t i s e ' , am I c o m p l e t e l y a t t h e d i s
       p o s a l o f my s u p e r i o r s ? Do I r e b e l i f         they
       o p p o s e my p l a n s ?
6.          Do I t r y t o o b e y , a t l e a s t b y s u b m i t t -
      i n g my m i n d a n d w i l l t o a u t h o r i t y ? Do       I
      r e a c h t h e s t a g e of d o i n g so j o y f u l l y ?     Do
      I act, i n a l l s i t u a t i o n s , with a generos-
      i t y and s e l f - a s s u r a n c e which would b e              --
      w o r t h y o f a p e r s o n a l s e r v a n t o f C h r i s t - .,
      Himself?
7.         Have I f o r m e d t h e h a b i t o f b e i n g f a i t h
      f u l i n t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f my d u t y u p t o 2
      heroic degree?
8.          D o e s my l i f e y e t r e f l e c t t h e q u a l i t i e s -
      o f C h r i s t ? Do I t h i n k a n d e v a l u a t e o n t h e
      l i n e s l a i d down i n t h e G o s p e l ? Do I g i v e
      i n t o my f a l l e n n a t u r e , t o n a t u r a l i s m , t o
      p r i d e and t o t h e world ?
9.          I s my l ' i f e t y p i f i e d . b y a c o . n s t a n t e f f -
      o r t t o acquire t h e elbments of C h r i s t ' s                   -
      l i f e , o r do I d e s p a i r o f e v e r i m i t a t i n g        -
      Him fully?
10.         A s f a r a s I am c o n c e r n e d , i s C h r i s t y e t
      everything.        --my l o v e , my I d e a l a n d my corn
      p a n i o n ? Would i t m a t t e r l i t t l e t o me      to
      lose everything if I could possess Him
      alone?
11.      Have X f u l l e x p e r i m e n t a l k n o w l e d g e         cf
      His t o t a l love f o r me?
     12.        Do I l o v e w h a t e v e r C h r i s t l o v e s ,   with
           t h e same l o v e a s H i s ?
     13.       Do I o f f e r my w h o l e c o n s c c r a t e d l i f e a s

 1         an a c t o f r e p a r a t i o n t o t h c Sacred :{cart ?
           Do I l i v e t h e r e a l i t y o f G o d ' s i n n e r p r e s -
           ence , possessing H i m and being possessed
                                                                          -
 I
k-
           b y Him? I s my l i f e i n f u l l h a r m o n y w i t h
           this r e a l i t y ?
                                            55. HUMAN       FORMATm




1.           Do I c a r e a b o u t my human f o r m a t i o n ? A m
         I c o n v i n c e d t h a t I m u s t b e a man b e f o r e
         bekoming a L e g i o n a r y ?
                                                                           -
2.             Do I s t r i v e t o f o r m my i n t e l l i g e n c e   --
         a n d g i v e o r d e r t o i t ? Do I h a v e some b a s i c
         p r i n c i p l e s t o which I s u b o r d i n a t e t h e r e s t
         and a r e t h e s e p r i n c i p l e s always t h e same?
         Do I t h i n k before a c t i n g ? D o , I a v a i l o f         -
-        a l l t h e m e a n s the L e g i o n p r o v i d e s        f o r my
         b e t t e r f o r m a t i o n -- s t u d i e s , m a g a z i n e s ,
         books, t r a v e l e t c . ?
3.          A r e my i d e a s c o r r e c t ? Do I w o r k t o f o r m
.        my j u d g e m e n t ? A m I p r u d e n t ? 3 0 trly  t o
         form an i n t e g r a l p i c t u r e o f thir,gs?
4.             Have I f o r m e d my w i l l ? I s i t f i r m a n d
         s o l i d , o r r a t h e r a t t h e m e r c y o f my s e n t -
         i m e n t s ? Do I a p p l y i t t o t h e c h a n g i n g --
         s t a t e s of t e m p e r m e n t a n d mind I e x p e r i e n c e ?
         Am I l a z y , i n c o n s t a n t , o r s l o v e n l y ?
!j   .      D o e s my f i r m n e s s o f w i l l t a k e me t o t h e
         point of being cold with others?
6.           Can I m a s . t e r my n e g a t i v e t e n d e n c i e s ? Do
         7.         Can I c o n t r o l my c u r i o s i t y ?

.
L   -1   8.       Which i s u s u a l l y t h e d o m i n a n t n o t e        in
               my d a i l y l i f e -- a n g e r , h a u g h t i n e s s , i m p ' a t
               ience, goodness, s i m p l i c i t y , calmness , h e l e
               fulness, stability, spitefulness,                         or re-
               moteness?
         9.          Do I h a v e a s e n s e o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y ?
               Do I l i v e i n a t h o u g h t f u l a t m o s p h e r e ,   or
               with l e v i t y , routine, lack of e f f o r t               or -
               h i g h e r p r e o c c u p a t i o n s ? On t h e contrary, -
               does t h i s sense of r e s p o n s i b i l i t y help            me
               t o win o u t i n eve$y a s p e c t ? Am I a l w a y s i n
               different t o everything outside the w i l l -
               o f God, d i s s a t i s f i e d w i t h my a c h i e v e m e n t s
               and p r e p a r e d t o k e e p on w o r k i n g ?
         10.        Do I know how t o b e h a v e when d e a l i n g -
               with others ?               Do I know how t o l i s t e n ? A m
               I a t t e n t i v e , d e l i c a t e , n a t u r a l when d e a l -
               i n g w i t h o t h e r s d i f f i c u l t f o r me? A m I        un
               s o c i a b l e , d i s t r u s t f u l o r am I d i s c r e e t a n x
               a m i a b l e , o r mean a n d f a u l t - f i n d i n g ?
         11.      Do I ' c o n s i d e r my human f o r m a t t o n a s a n
               end o r a s a means?
         12.        Have my h u m a n i t y s t u d i e s p r o d u c e d -
               t h e i r l o g i c a l f r u i t s i n my l i f e , o r h a v e
               I gone t h r o u g h them a s j u s t a n o t h e r s t a g e
               o f my f o r m a t i o n , w i t h o u t g i v i n g t h e m a n y
               s p e c i a l importance?
                                                   56. FORMATlON       OF THE WILL
                                                                                                :I
,       1.             B e c a u s e I am c o n v i n c e d o f i t s n e c e s s i t y ,
                 d o I w o r k t o . f o r m my w i l l ? I s my e f f 0 r t . a
                 s u s t a i n e d o n e , o r is i t o n l y s t i m ' u l a t e d by
    .            the influence of spiritual direction?
        '1   . e x cDop t Ii o tnrs y f rt oom f tohoel
                    e
                                                          myself by l o o k i n g f o r
                                                          inescapable necessity
                 of t h i s formation?
                       Do I l o o k o n my w i l l , c o u p l e d w i t h t h e
                 g r a c e o f God, a s t h e a x i s o f my s a n c t i f i c -
                 ation i n its r o l e of determining the m e r i t                         .
                 o r d e m e r i t o f my a c t i o n s ?
                       Do I t r y t o g o a h e a d i.n t h - e s p i r i t u a l -
                 l i f e without t h i s q u a l i t y o f will-power ?
                 Have I n e v e r r e a l i s e d t h a t a man w i t h o u t         -
                 a n i d e a l i s a ' p o o r man, a n d t h a t a n i d e a l
                 w i t h o u t f o r m a t i o n o f t h e w i l l i s a n empty
                 d r e a m ? Have I r e a l i s e d t h a t w i t h o u t f o r m - '
                 a t i o n o f t h e w i l l , e v e n my e t e r n a l s a l v a t -
                 ion i s i n danger?
        Ti   .        Is t h e p r a c t i c a l d e s i r e o f i d e n t i f y i n g
                 m y s e l f w i t h J e s u s C h r i s t my k e y m o t i v e i n
                 t h e f o r m a t i o n of my w i l l ? Why d o I f o r m my
                 c h a r a c t e r : from a p u r e l y n a t u r a l d e s i r e     -         -.
      t o be manly, o r t o p r e p a r e t h e grouncl               for
      t h e Holy S p i r i t t o c a r r y o u t H i s work           in
      me?

6.       Am I governed by r e a s o n and w i l l o r                     by
      my l o w e r f a c u l t i e s ?
7.          Do I a p p l y my w i l l f i r s t a n d f o r e m o s t -
      t o a l w a y s o b e y i n g God? Can I s a y , t h e r e f o r e
..    t h a t I have enough s t r e n g t h o f w i l l         t o av
      o i d s i n ? Do I p o s s e s s t h e n e c e s s a r y  selfr
      dominion t o f o r e s t a l l and m o d e r a t e t h e       u~
      s u r g e s o f ~y p a s s i o n s ? A m I a l s o a b l e t o
      dominate my a f f e c t i o n s and s e n t i m e n t s ?
8:          I n o r d e r t o f o r m my w i l l c o r r e c t l y ,  do
      I t r y t o p r e s e n t my u n d e r s t a n d i n g    with,-
      c l e a r , profol.l.nd a n d w e l l - f o u n d e d i d e a s     -
      which can a f t e r w a r d s s e r v e t o s t i m u l a t e       -
      a n d g u i d e my w o r k ?
9.          Do I p r a y t o God f o r t ! ~ eg r a c e t o f o r n
      my w i l 1 , o r am I s t i l l a f . ? a i d b e c a u s e o f
      my w e a k n e s s a n d my l a c k o:? c h a r a c t e r  ?
      Could t h i s second a t t i t u d e p e r h a p s b e       a
      t r a p s e t b y my g r e a t s e n s u a l i t y and,love
      of comfort?
10.       I n m o m e n t s when my w i l l i s a b o u t . t o
      succumb t o . t e m p t a t i o n , d o e s i t e c c o u r a g e
      me t o t h i n k how C h r i s t w a s f a i t h f u l " u p
      t o d e a t h on a c r o s s " ?

11,      Do I a p p l y a n y p r a c t i c a l m e a n s . t o t h e
   f o r m a t i o n o f my w i l l ? Do I c u l t i v a t e t h e
   s e n s e o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y i n my d u t y a s t h e
   f i r s t of t h e s e ? Do I t h e r e f o r e a c c o m p l i s h
          my d u t y t o t h e l a s t d e t a i l      --       e v e n when i t
          c a l l s f o r a b n e g a t i o n ? Do I u s e           the     small
          b u t v a l u a b l e m e a n s o f f o r m i n g my w i l 1 , l i k e
          k e e p i n g a d l a r y o r w r i t i n g ftJ.uminasv,or do
          I s c o r n them a s b e i n g o n l y f o r b e g i n n e r s ?
          Do I r e g a r d t h e d e v e l o p m e n t o f g o o d m a n n e r s
          d i s t i n c t i o ' n and p o l i t e n e s s a s one of           the
          b e s t m e a n s t o t h i s e n d ? Do I a l s o v a l u e            -
          p e r f e c t t i d i n e s s a n d d i s t i n c t i o n i n my        -
          c e l l , o r d o e s my s u p e r i o r o f t e n h a v e           to
          c a l l my a t t e n t i o n w h e n e v e r h e        e n t e r s it ?
          Are d i l i g e n c e , p r o m p t i t u d e and p u n c t u a l i t y
          among t h e o t h e r m e a n s w h i c h I u s e              t o help
          me f o r m my w i l l ?

    12.          Ant I s y s t e m a t i c a l l y r e f l e c t i v e , o r d o I
          a l l o w m y s e l f t o b e c a r r i e d a w a y ,by my f i r s t
          impulse, o r hy r o u t i n e , passion                       o r whim ?
          Am I accustomed t o a s k i n g myself t h e q u e s t
          i o n : " I s t h i s t h e w i l l o f God f o r me " ?
                                                                                  -
          A m I h a s t y i n t h e way I d o t h i n g s , o r d o I
          try t o a c q u i r e t h e n e c e s s a r y c a l m a n d mod
          e r a t i o n t o do them w e l l ?            Do      I undertake
-         projects with indecision, with hesitation
          o r laziness, or am I decisive,                            f i r m * and
          c o n s t a n t i n what I d e c i d e t o d o ?
    13.          A m I a s l a v e o f human r e s p e c t ?         Am      I
          a l w a y s d e p e n d e n t on what o t h e r s t h i n k        of
          me? Do I f e a r t h e c r i t i c i s m o f o t h e r s ,         to
          t h e p o i n t o f f a i l i n g i n my d u t y ? A m I           so
          i n f l u e n c e d by bad example t h a t I u s e it              as
          a n e x c u s e n o t t o f u l f i l l my o b l i g a t i o n s    ?

4     .         C n . t h e c o n t r a r y , i s my w i l l - p o w e r so       -
          s t r o n g t h a t i t o v e r c o m e s my f e a r a n d h e s i -
      t a t i o n , or t h e atmosphere,             good      or     bad,
      w h i c h s u r r o u n d s me?

15.         Am I e x t r e m e l y s e n s i t i v e t o f a i l u r e ?
      D o e s f e a r o f i t make me d r a w b a c k           in    the
      f a c e o f d u t y , o r , c o n f i d e n t i n g r a z e , do I
      t a c k l e it without h e s i t a t i o n ?

16.         Do I u s u a l l y t a k e    r e f u g e b e h i n d t h e c'ow
  ,   a r d l y a t t i t u d e o f "I    w o u l d l i k e t o " ? OF
      when I s e e i t i s t h e          w i l l o f God , d o           I
      translate everything                I d e c i d e on i n t o a c-     t
      ion?

17.         D O I p u t my i e ~ b l u t i o n si n t o p r a c t i s e
      with a s p i r i t of responsibility,                   or are
      t h e s e r e s o l u t i o n s merely t h e     fruit        of -
      s e n t i m e n t a l i t y ? Do some " g r a v e r e a s o n s "
                                                              f
      a l w a y s c r o p u p t o p r e v e n t me f ~ o m u l f i l l -
      i n g t h e m ? Do I make a " g r a v e r e a s o n "          of
      even t h e s m a l l e s t       thing    ?

18.         I s t h e f o r m a t i o n o f my w i l l s i n c e r e l y
      b a s e d on s e l f - d e n i a l ? Is t h i s s e l f - d e n i a l
      a p p l i e d m a i n l y t o s m a l l , c o s t l y . .t h i n g s ?
                      57. FORMATION OF THE PASSIONS




1.          I s my w o r k g o v e r n e d s o l e l y b y my t e m ~ e r
      m e n t o r p a s s i o n s ? Do I l a c k t h e      loftier-
      g u i d a n c e o f f a i t h and r e a s o n ?
2.         C a n I d i r e c t my p a s s i o n s a l o n g t h e p a t ' h
      o f d u t y ? Do I a l w a y s s e t a b o u t d o i n g Gods
      w i l l whole-heartedly?
3.           Do 1 u s e my t e m p e r m e n t a l i m p u l s e s t o
      m a k e my s u r r e n d e r m o r e e n t h u s i a s t i c a n d t o
      s t r e n g t h e n my o p p o s i t i o n t o i m p e r f e c t i o n ?     .
      Have I f o r m e d m y s e l f s o p o s i t T u e l y i n t h i s
      p o i n t t h a t t h e t h i n g s which once annoyed
      me now i n c r e a s e my f o r w a r d t h r u s t ? O r , on
      t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I c o n t i n u e w a s t i n g my
      v i t a l e n e r g i e s by c o n s t a n t i m p a t i e n c e ?    Do
      I a l l o w m y s e l f t o be c a r r i e d away h y f i t s
      of a n g e r , b r o o d i n g o r melancholy?
4.           Have I s u f f i c i e n t s e l f - k n o w l e d g e   to   -
     . m a i n t a r i n c o n s t a n t p r o g r e s s . i n my e f f o r t s
       for spiritual perfection?

5.        Am I a n x i o u s t o e r a d i c a t e a n y r e a l l y           -
     b a d a s p e c t o f my t e m p e r m e n t , o r d o I allow
     i.t t o f e s t e r , . t h r o u g h l a c k of r e s o l u t i o n ?
                    Do I i s o l a t e t h i s f z u 2 . t s a d f i g h t i t ' c a l n -
                    l y yet firmly?

 '-1       , 6   . t h i nI k
                            s   my e f f o r t m e r e l y r ~ 2 g t j t i v e ? Do I n c w
                                o f d i r e c t i n g my s c a t t e r e d      efforts -
                    t o w a r d s God'? Do I u s e e x c u s e s t o eamou-
'
I
;
    -1              f l a g e serl0u.s f a u l t s ?
            7.            Do I k e e p my c h a r a c t e r w e l l - b a l a n c e d ?
                    If    I .am i n - l i n e d t o w a r d s d a y - d r e a m i n g or
                    Fr?i.de, d o I f r y t o b e o b j e c t i v e a n d r e f l e c
                    t i v e ? Do I f i g h t d e p r e s s i o n w i t h l o v e      an3
                    e n t h u s i a s m f o r my I d e a l ? D o I t r y t o r e t a i n
                    calmness above a l l i n t i m e s of confusion ?
L      1
            8.            Do I c o n s t a n t l y k e e p w a t c h o v e r my l i f e
                    i n o r d e r t o k e e p it p u r e and c l e a n            in the
                   s i g h t o f God, j u s t l i k e ny d e c i s i o n            of -
                   f u l l s u r r e n d e r ? Do I l o v e God more t h a n my
                   t e m p e r m e n t , b e i n g p r e p a r e d t o c h a n g e , d i-
                                                                                        r

-1
L-
                   e c t a n d c o r r e c t i t a c c o r d i n g t o Nis p l a n s ,
                   o r d o I p r e f e r t h a ? God a d j u s t H i m s e l f
                   s u i t me, a l l o w me t o l i v e a c c o r d i n g t o t h e
                                                                                      t a

                   t e m p e r m e n t lie g a v e me? Do I r e s i s t           every-
3                  t h i n g w h i c h g o e s a g a i n s t my t e n d e n c i e s a n d
                   l i k i n g s ? D o I g e t a n n o y e d w i t h my t e m p e r
                   m e n t ? Do I t h i n k i t i m p o s s i b l e t o s a n c t i f y
                   m y s e l f k y nizans o f i t ?

            9.           Do I f a v o u r a t t i t u d e s w h i c h l c a d t o t h e
                   a d v a n c e o f my p a s s i o n s -- f o r e x a m p l e      i m -
                   patience, s p i t e , morbidity, depl?ession,seE
                   a r a t i o n from o t h e r s , n o v e l t y    o r narrow-
n
:._I        10.
                   mindedness?
                        H a v e I e v e r u s e d p h r a s e s l i k e " t h e keg-          ,


                   i o n w a n t s it1' o r " t h e Ki-ngdom d e m a n d s r t
       I
          t o j u s t i f y c o m p l i a n c e w i t h my p a s s i o n s ?       '    1
21.         Do I t r y t o g a i n t h e u p p e r h a n d       on t h e
      e n e m y , s t r e n g t h e n i n g my s p i r i t
      a s p e c t s i n which 1 n o t i c e he
                                                             i n those
                                                           attacks  me
                                                                                       7
                                                                                       i-.I
      with g r e a t e r i n t e n s i t y and frequency ?            Do
      I t h e n work a s s i d u o u s l y a n d i n t e n s e l y t o
      acquire the opposite virtue?
J-2   .     Have I d e t e r m i n e d w h a t my c!qvinant            pass
      i o n i s ? Is it s e n s u a l i t y , o r rathe17 vanity,
      h a u g h t i n e s s o r p r i d e ? C o u l d it b e d e p r e s s i o n
      and sadness, o r perhaps e x t r a v e r s i o n o r
      s u p e r f i c i a l i t y ? Do I l o o k i n t o t h e     matter
      s i n c e r e l y , o r am I t o o c o w a r d l y ,      ashamed
      t o d o s o ? Do I d c p e n d c o m p l e t e l y
      h e l p o f t h e s u p e r i o r s ? Do I r e f u s e

      m e ? Y h a t e f f o r t s d o L make t o c o n t r o l
                                                                on t h e
                                                                   to -
      a c c e p t t h e t r u t h when t h e y p o i n t i t o u t t o
                                                                         and
                                                                                   I;  i-




      d i r e c t my dominant p a s s i o n ?             Am I f a i t h f u l
      t o rhe advice I receive,
      h a v i n g good r e s u l t s ?
                                                     a n d i s my w o r k              :1
                                         58. MANLINESS AND              VIRILITY




           1.       Do I c u l t i v a t e a s p i r i t o f v i r i l i t y          ?
                Can I s a y t h a t I qm a n u p r i g h t man - - o n e
                who i s f i r m , s t e a ? l y , a c t i v e , h a r d - w o r k i n g ?
                O r on t h e c o n t r a r y do I a c t as i f              I were
                composed o n l y o f s e n t i m e n t s ?        Am      I vaiz,
                sensual, o r effeminate?
           2.        Do I h a r m o n i z e t h i s m a n l i n e s s      with     -
                g e n t l e n e s s and goodness?

           3.         Am I e n t h u s e d a n d a t t r a c t e d     by what i s
                c o s t l y ? D o e s i t u r g e me t o p r a c t i s e     self-
                d i s c i p l i n e ? D o e s i t d i s h e a r t e n me?   Do    I
                begin thinking t h a t t h i s is j u s t not                  my
                l i n e ? Do I r e t r e a t when I m e e t t h e           first
                d i f f i c u l t y , a n d g i v e up t.he s t r u g g l e ? Am
                1-5atisfied with just t h e average?
                 . .
i
           4.         D u r i n g my a c t s o f p i e t y , a r e my p o s t -
i1
!
  1  -.
                u r e s m a n l y ? I s my t o n e o f v o i c e a l s o f i r m ?
                Do I l e a n my h e a d t o o n e s i d e ? Do I s i g h ?

:'I
,    L..
           5.        Do I a d o p t a m a n l y a t t i t u d e w h e t h e r
                am s t a n d i n g , s e a t e d o r r e s t i n g ? Arc      my
                                                                                 I

I               g e s t u r e s w o r t h y o f a man? A r e t h e y s t u d i e d
I
                                                                                                         I
     o r a f f e c t e d ? How d o e s my t o n e o f v o i c e c o n
     form t o t h e s e s t a n d a r d s ?
6.        lio I j ) i r ' i ~ c T i r ; r : '7 r o h ~ u . c : t c l . i i l r b t t y ? Do
     c:y(,:; r:i.vc: tlrc.! :i.rrlprxc?sojo~~                                           ,    -
                                                                                              my
                                                              o.f ~ ) c : ; ~ c : c o f f i r m
                                                                                                    I
                                                                                             -
     r~(.!:.:s r o f l a n g u o r ? Do I g o l o o l c i n g
             o
     a f f e c t i o n o r u n d e r s t a n d i n g from o t h e r s , o r
     u s i n g t e n d e r l o o k s o r " l o n g - s u f f e r i n g " a t-t
                                                                                          for
                                                                                                     1
                                                                                                     1--


     i t u d e s ? Do I l o o k f o r c o m p a s s i o n o r           con-
     s o l a t i o n ? Could t h i s b e a c o m p e n s a t i o n f o r
     t h e human l o v e w h i c h I s a c r i f i c e d t o f o l l -
     ow C h r i s t ?

7.         Do I a l w a y s l o o k f o r a p p r e c i a t i o n , e s -
     t e e m o r p r a i s e ? Have I r e a l i s e d how r i d i c -
                                                                                                     "
                                                                                                     L-


     u l o u s i t i s i n a man, n o t t o m e n t i o n           a
     religious?

0.         Have I a s e n s e o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y ? H a v e                            ! ,--      i1
     I t a k e n r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r my s p i r i t u a l ,
     i n t e l l e c t u a l a n d human f o r m a t i o n ?    Have I                                  ;, 11
                                                                                                         .-

     a d o p t e d a mere r e s p o n s i b l e a t t i t u d e t o w a r d
     t h e t h i n g s e n t r u s t e d t o me? Do I f l e e f r o m
     a l l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y , if n o t i n t h e o r y
     least i n practice?
                                                                       at            ,                  7,    !
9.        I s p e r f e c t a c c o m p l i s h m e n t o f my d u t y -
    t h e f i r s t f r u i t , o f my m a n l i n e s s and v i r i l - .
    i t y ? Do my c o n s t a n c y , d i l i g e n c e , n a t u r a l -
    i t y and s i m p l i c i t y a l s o stem from t h i s            -
    source, enabling me'to bear contradiction
    and s a c r i f i c e without d r a m a t i z i n g t h e iss-
    ue?
10.      Can I t r u t h f u l l y s a y t h a t I a m a f o r c e -
    f u l r e l i g i o u s , who c o u l d c o m p a r e w i t h t h e
    " u p r i g h t man" we m e e t i n H o l y S c r i p t u r e ?
.   11.      Do I giv.e t h e i m p r e s s i o n o f k n o w i n g   -
          what I w a n t , and b a i n g p r e p a r e d t o p u r s u e
          m goals to the finish?
           y
                                               59. SENSE     OF ORDER




1':      Do I l o v e . s i m-p l i c i t y , o r do I t e n d       to
      be c o m p l i c a t e d ?
2.          Do I l i k e t o h a v e e v e r y t h i n g i n o r d e r ,
                                                      y
      o r have I n o t y e t o v e r c o m e m h a b i t s o f
      c a r e l e s s n e s s and g r o s s n e g l i g e n c e ? -   -
                                                                           .
                                                                               -1
                                                                               I
                                                                               d
3.          Have I a n i n t e r n a l s e n s e o f o r d e r ? H a v e
      I g o t a l l my p r i o r i t i e s r i g h t , s e e i n g God
      a s t h e s o u r c e a n d c e n t r e o f my e x i s t e n c e ?
      A r e m s p i r i t u a l l i f e a n d my work d i r e c t -
                y
      e d b y s o l i d p r i n c i p l e s , o r am I a s l a v e
      o f my s e n t i m e n t s ? Do I make o n l y s p o r a d i c
      p r o g r e s s ? A m I f a i t h f u l t o my p r o g r a m m e
      o f s p i r i t u a l w o r k , down t o t h e     last      de-
      tail?
4.          Do I s t r i v e t o k e e p a s e n s e o f v a l u e s
      i n u s i n g e a c h o f my f a c u l t i e s ? Which o f
      t h e m g o v e r n s nly l i f e -- t h e w i l l , the -
      reason o r t h e sentiments?

5.          Have I t h e h a b i t o f k e e p i n g o r d e r    in
      a l l m a t e r i a l t h i n g s ? I f s o , why - b e c a u s e
      of p o v e r t y , l o v e and i m i t a t i o n o f C h r i s t ,
      s e l f - d e n i a l o r v a n i t y ? Why d o I t a k e      --
                                 -   230   -
               p l e a s u r e i n or.der?

         6.       I s my     c e l l a l w a y s t i d y ? Do I f o l l o w t h e
               norms- i n    o r d e r i n g m d e s k , my' s h o w e r ,
                                              y                             my
               wash-hand       b a s i n a n d m w a r d r o b e ? Do I e v e n
                                                 y
               keep the.     t h i n g s w h i c h ' a r e o u t 'df s i g h t
               tidy?

         7.          Do I t r y t o be s y s t e m a t i c         i n my s t u d :
               a n d t h i n k i n g ? Do I f o l l o w a s c h e m e f o r car
               f e s s i o n and s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n ? Do I asji
               p e r m i s s i o n s i n a m e t h o d i c a l way?Do I c a r r y
               a n o t e b o o k a r o u n d w i t h me t o w r i t e down -
               w o r t h w h i l e i d e a s ? Do I p u t t h i n g s o f f f r o m
               day t o day?
         8.         Do,I deliberately             and     heedlessly vary
               t h e programme?

         9.          Do I f o r e s e e t h i n g s ? , D o I p r e p a r e my-
               s e l f s p i r i t u a l l y f o r t h e n e x t i t e m on t h e
               programme?
         16.         Am I methodical i n study?                Do I d e c i d e
               b e f o r e h a n d w h a t I am g o i n g t o s t u d y , o r d o
               I b e g i n w i t h t h e f i r s t t h i n g t h a t comes i n
               t o my h e a d ? Do I b e g i n o n t i m e ? Do I w a s t c
               a l o t o f t i m e on i n s i g n i f i c a n t t h i n g s ? Do
               I i n t e r r u p t my s t u d y a t t h e f i r s t     opport-
               u n i t y ? Do I c o n s i d e r t h e s e a s s e r i o u s
I_-
I
               faults?
         11.   Without s u f f i c i e n t r e a s o n , do I i n t e r -
                   y
            rupt m a c t s of piety               --
                                                  m e d i t a t i o n , Mass
I   --      exam o f c o n s c i e n c e e t c . ? DO I e v e r l e a v e
            same a c t o f p i e t y f o r a f t e r n i g h t p r a y e r s ?
12.          o
            D I o f t e n w a s t e t i m e b e c a u s e o f lack
      o f o r g a n i s a t i o n ? F o r t h i s r e a s o n , do 'I
      m a k c o t h e r s w a s t e t i m e a s w e l l ? Have I    -
      g o t a f r e e - t i m e programme? What i s t h e           -
      main theme o f m programme y               --       t o do what
                                       y
      I l i k e , t o s e e t o m n e e d s , o r t o cultivate
      m interior l i f e : visitr
       y                                            ejaculations ,
      etc.      ?

13.         D m e f f o r t s t o be t i d y have a s u p e r
             o y                                                     -
                                                                     -
      n a t u r a l m o t i v a t i o n , or. a r e t h e y m e r e l y
      a c t s o f t h e wi1.13 Is my'aim m e r e l y t o b e
      more of a man?
                                                      60. DISTINCTION




        1.       Am I c a r e f u l o f my o u t w a r d a p p e a r a n c e ,
             my way o f a c t i n g ? Do I b e h a v e                 li1:e -
             a gentleman i n every r e s p e c t ?               Is v a n i t y
             o r s e l f - c o n c e i t t h e r e a s o n f o r t h i s , o r is
             i t b e c a u s e I w a n t t o be more l i k e C h r i s t ?

        2.         Am I e a g c r t o t r a i n myself f o r s o c i a l
             l i f e ? D o I t r y t o a c h i e v e t h i s i n my d e a l
             i n g s w i t h o t h e r s ? Do I o f t e n t h i n k o f t h e
             f a c t t h a t 1 b e a r t h e name o f L e g i o n a r y ?

        3.         Am I ashamed o f b e i n g r e f i n e d in m     y
             everyday l i f e ?  A m I a f ~ i e n d l y ,n a t u r a l
             t y p e o f person, o r a m I shy and a l o o f ? Do
             I treat everyone with i7espect?

        4.         Do I ~ z l k r o p e r l y ? Do I k e e p m y s e l f
                                  p                                                  .
             clean and t i d y ?          Is my e l o t h i n k a l w a y s

'   I        c l e a n , o r d o I w e a r i t a n y way a t a l l ? I s
             my s o u t a n e s t a i n e d o r c r e a s e d ? A r e my s h o e s
             always d i r t y ?
                            y
                  Are m w o r d s a l w a y s w o r t h y o f my c a l l -
             ing?      Do I u s e t h e c o r r e c t a n d p r o p e r . v o c
             a b u l a r y ? Do I i n t e r r u p t o t h e r s w h e n t h e y

    I
    L

                                        -   233   -
      a r e s p e a k i n g ? Do I i g n o r e t h e t o p i c s t h e y
      a r e s p e a k i n g a b o u t ? Do I know how t o l e t
      others d i c t a t e the topic of conversation?
      30 I l i s t e n t o what i s b e i n g s a i d ?           Do I
      know how t o a s k p a r d o n when I i n t e r r u p t 3
      Do I c a l l o t h e r s f r o m a d i s t a n c e ? Is my
      T o n e o f v o i c e m o d e r a t e and d i s c r e e t ? I s my
      s o c i a l beh3viour n a t u r a l ,      o r r a t h e r a f-  f
      ected?
5.         A r c my l i v i n g q u a r t e r s    always clean
 '   a n d w e l l - o r d e r e d ? Am I n e g l i g e n t  on t h i s
     p o i n t ? C o u l d I c o n f i d e n t l y s h o w my n o t e s
     a n d my b o o k s t o a n y o n e who w a n t e d t o s e e
     them?

7.          Have I t h e h a b i t o f l e a v i n g e v e r y t h i n g
     . i n i t s p r o p e r p l a c e ? Do I t r y t o k e e p t h e
      house c l e a n ,      o r have I a "couldn't              care
      less1' a t t i t u d e o n t h i s p o i n t ? Do I v o l u -   n
      t e e r to' c l e a n w h a t e v e r i s d i r t y ?
8.         D o e s my s e n s e o f d i s t i n c t i o n spring
     f r o m t h e d i g n i t y o f my p o s i t i o n a s a t e m -
     p l e of t h e Blessed T r i n i t y and t h e          res-
     p e c t w h i c h I owe o t h e r s s i n c e t h i s i s a -  1
     s o t r u e o f them?
                                                                  STUDY
                                                                  !.
                                                                 &I




    LJ
         1.         Do I d e v o t e all my energies t o s t u d y
              b e c a u s e it i s one o f t h e most i m p o r t a n t -
    I         o f my d u t i e s a t p r e s e n t ? Do I r e a l i z e i t s
              i m p o r t a n c e ? Why d o I s t u d y -- o u t o f n a-.  t
!             u r a l c u r i o s i t y and t h i r s t f o r knowledge ,
i   1         because o f t h e f a c t t h a t it i s a l w a y s -
              f o r c e d on me a n d I c a n n o t g e t o u t o f i t ,
              o r , on t h e o t h e r h a n d , f o r t h a good o f -
              t h e Legion a n d f u l f i l l m ' e n t o f   Christ's
              n e e d for w e l l - p r e p a r e d men?

         2.         Do I h a t e s t u d y ? Why d o I f i n d i t - '
    B         h a r d -- b e c a u s e I d o n o t w a n t t o b e known
              a s a s t u d i o u s p e r s o n ? ..
                    I n my own o p i n i o n , a m I m a k i n g t h e -
    I    3.
              g r e a t e s t p o s s i b l e e f f o r t i n my s t u d i e s   ?
              Am 1 a w a r e o f t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y e n t a i l e d
              i n t h e s a c r i f i c e made b y t h e L e g i o n a n d
    1         her benefactors t o provide t h e necessary
              m e a n s f o r my t r a i n i n g ? D o I a l w a y s r e a l -
              i z e t h e f u l l import of t h e f a c t t h a t a -
              p e r f e c t formation is necessary f o r t h e
    _I        a p o s t o l a t e ? Am I aware of t h e s a c r i f i c e s
              made by t h o s e who d e d i c a t e t h e i r l i v e s
     1
     t o p r o v i d i n g f o r m t r a i n i n g ? Am I a t t r a c-
                                  y                                  t
     cd t o w a r d s t h e e a s y l i f e l e d by a h a l f -
                                    b i e ~
     h e a r t e d , e a ~ ~ - ~ s t u dn n t ?
4.         Have I t h e p e r s o n a l i n t e r e s t a n d i n i t -
     i a t i v e t o g o a h e a d i n my s t u d i e s , o r am I
     c o n t e n t t o a d a p t t h e p r o g r a m m e t o s u i t my,
     own p a c e ?
5.        Have I t a k e n t h e ' t r o u b l e t o f i n d  out
     which b r a n c h o f l e a r n i n g s u i t s m e most   ?
     Which d o I l i k e b e s t ? Have I ' t o l d my s u p e r              .
     i o r about t h i s ?

6.         A m I e a g e r t o make u s e o f a n y s p a r e        -
     t i m e I have t o c a t c h up i n a n y s u b j e c t         in
     w h i c h I am a l i t t l e b e h i n d ? Do I u s e t h e s e
     times t o study languages, o r , under t h e -
     g u i d a n c e o f t h e s u p e r i o r , t o w r i t e t o Leg
     i o n a r i e s i n o t h e r h o u s e s o f t h e Congreg -
     a tion?
7.        Do ,I l i k e t o c o m p l y w i t h t h e p r o g r a m m e
     o f s t u d i e s a n d a f t e r w a ~ d st o c o m p l e m e n t i t
     b y my own e f f o r t s ? 2 0 I d i s c u s s w i t h my
     s u p e r i o r s a n d t e a c h e r s how b e s t I c a n       use
     my t i m e a n d t h e q u a l i t i e s I p o s s e s s ?
8.         D o I s t u d y i n a m e t h o d i c a l way? Have    I
     t h e h a b i t o f d e c i d i n g beforehand what I a m
     g o i n g t o s t u d y ? On t h e c o n t r a r y , d o I set
     t o work on t h e f i r s t t h i n g t h a t comes i n t o
       y
     m h e a d ? Is t h i s b e c a u s e o f l a z i n e s s o r
     from l a c k o f s e l f - d e n i a l ?

9.      Am I p u n c t u a l w h e n . i t comes t o g e t t i n g
     down t o my s t u d i e s ? Do I i n t e r r u p t them
            o n l y i f something v e r y i n p o r t a n t c r o p s up?
            Does t h i s happen o f t e n ? D u r i n g s t u d y , d o I
            r e a d o n l y a b o u t p l e a s a n t s u b j e c t s ? Am  I
            c a r e l e s s a b o u t t h e s u b j e c t s which d o n ' t
            appeal t o me ?

     LO.         Am I c a p a b l e o f m a k i n g b e t t e r    use of
           my s t u d y - t i m e ? Are t h e s e t i m e s when       I de
           v o t e m y s e l f much m o r e t o . m y s t u d i e s b y m a F
           ing a greater effort?
                                                                                -
I    11.          Have I . t h e h a b i t i f s t u d y i n g w i t h o u t
            s c h e m a t i s i n g a n y t h i n g o r t a k i n g n o t e s ? Am
            I usually completely passive during class?
           .Do I g , e t d i s t r a c t e d o r f a l l a s l e e p ? Do I
            c u l t i v a t e dislike of p a r t i c u l a r          teachers
            o r s u b j e c t s , t o t h e p o i n t of b e i n g u n a b l e
            t o t o l e r a t e t h e m o r work w i t h t h e m ?

     12.         A m I u s u a l l y w o r r i e d a b o u t my i n a p t i -
           t u d e f o r s t u d y ? A t t h e sam-e t i m e ,     am I
           a n n o y e d when t r e a t e d a s s o m e o n e u n f i t   for
           t h i s pursuit?
9
.-
     13.         Can I l e a r n a n d a s s i m i l a t e t h i n g s a t a
           s i n g l e glance? Before studying t h e subject
           on hand, do I a l l o w m y s e l f           a   lot of side

I          t r a c k s ? Does i t seem t o ne t h a t w h a t
           s u p e r i o r s d e c i d e on i s n o t good e n o u g h t o
           s a t i s f y my r e q u i r e m e n t s ?
                                                                          the



(    14.        D I p ~ e f e rt o d e p e n d o n i n s p i r a t i o n , o n
                  o
           w h a t c o m e s t o me i n a n i n s t a n t , r a t h e r t h a n
           o n s e r i o u s a n d h o n e s t s t u d y ? Do I u s e t h i s
'1   15.
           a s a n e x c u s e f o r my l a c k o f e f f o r t ?

                 o
                D I l i k e t o s o l v e t h e prob.1ems              I meet
-1
          o n my own, o r d o I g o a n d s e e k t h e a d v i c e
          o f o t h e r s when I e n c o u n t e r t h e s l i g h t e s t
          difficulty?
                                                              Ii
    6           Do I e n g a g e i n many h e a t e d a r g u m e n t s
          with others about t h e i r points                     of   view?
          Do I n e v e r a r g u e ? Do I a t l e a s t l i k e t o
          e x p l o r e t h e more d i f f i c u l t p o i n t s w i t h
          t h e o t h e r s i n calm, c h a r i t a b l e d i s c u s s i o n
          so a s t o see things i n the l i g h t of t h e i r
                                                                    y
          e x p e r i e n c e ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , a r e m q u e s
          t i o n s always t w i s t e d , o r designed t o puF
          m e on a h i g h € - . l e v e l t h a n t h e o t h e r s ?
            *
    17.         Do I d e s p i s e t h e s t u d i e s I h a v e a 1 r e a . d ~
          c o v e r e d , a s w e l l a s t h e s t u d e n t s who a r e
          e n g a g e d i n s t u d y i n g them a t p r e s e n t ?

    18.         Do I d i s l i k e w o r k i n g    i n conjunction
                                                                                   T]
                                                                                   C..



          w i t h o t h e r s t o make t h e s t u d i e s more . -
          s i m p l e a n d p r o f i t a b l e ? Am I a l w a y s r e a d y
.         t o h e l p ? Does t h i s r e a d i n e s s     stem from
          v a n i t y , o r from s i n c e r e c h a r i t y ?
    19.         A m I v e r y s e l f i s ' h when        i t comes t o
          s t u d y ? A m I v e r y i n d e p e n d e c - I : L\E o t h e r s ?
          A m I more a t t r a c t e d b y o r i g i n a l i t y      than
          by t r u t h ?

    20.         I s t h e Kingdom t h e s o l e , a l l - e m b r a c i n g
          p u r p o s e o f a l l my s t u d y ,   or is        it o n l y
          a f a c a d e t o h i d e my v a n i t y , s e l f - l o v e ' o r
          personal ambitions?
               3   '   '

                                             62. GRATITUDE




1.         Have I a c q u i r e d d s e n s e o f g r a t i t u d e
     i n my l i f e ? , D o I c o n s i d e r m y s e l f b a s i -
     c a l l y unworthyof anything?              Is t h i s : a
     sincere conviction?

2.          A m I g r a t e f u l t o God   --      d o I remember
      t h e p h y s i c a l g i f t s H e h a s g i v e n m e ? Do I
      t a k e them f o r g r a n t e d ?        Do I t h i n k o f my
      i n t e l l e c t u a l t a l e n t s a s a g i 2 t ? Do I
      t h a n k God f o r t h e m ? Do t h e g r a c e s o f         a
      s u p e r n a t u r a l o r d e r mean a n y t h i n g t o n e
      i n t h i s r e s p e c t ? Do I a p p r e c i a t e t h e m a s
     g r a c e s f r o m God? A g a i n , d o I t h a n k F i m
      f o r t h e m ? Do I t h a n k God s p e c i a l l y f c r
     c r e a t i n g me, r e d e e m i n g m e , c a l l i n g me t o
     H i s Church and g i v i n g m e t h e Sacraments?
     A m I g r a t e f u l t h a t He h a s c h o s e n m e f r o m
     a l l e t e r n i t y t o be a Legi.onary and a
     p r i e s t , h a s p l a c e d me i n a C h r i s t i a n f a m
                                                                    -
     i l y , and h a s determined a l l t h e circum-
     s t a n c e s o f my l i f e u n t i l now? Do I r e a l
     i s e that a l l these are gifts                    from ~ o d ;
     o r d o I s e e them as n a t u r a l o c c u r e n c e s ?

3.       When God gives m s o m e t h i n g
                         e                              that      I
     have been asking f o r i n s i s t e n t l y ,      do    I
     t h a n k H i m f o r it w i t h t h e same f e r v o u r          -
     a n d c o n s t a n c y ? How d o I r e a c t when H e
     docs not grant i t ?

4.        Do t h e "We g i v e y o u t h a n k s . . . "    which
     I r e p e a t s o o f t e n d u r i n g t h e day,and t h e
     ' T e Deum' w h i c h i n t r o d u c e s i t , make m e
     f e e l t h e w a r m t b o f g r a t i t u d e i n my h e a r t
     a n d o n my l i p s ?

5.         Do I t h a n k God f o r h a v i n g s a v e d me
     f r o m s o many d a n g e r s , b o t h s p i r i t u a l a n d
                                                                        -
     m a t e r i a l ? How d o I s h o w t h i s g r a t i t u d e
     t o God    --     merely w i t h words,          o r with a
     s i n c e r e r e c o g n i t i o n o f H i s dominion o v e r
     me? I s t h i s e x p r e s s e d i n a m i n u t e a n d          -
     c o n s t a n t d e p e n d e n c e on H i s most Holy         -
     Will?

6.         Am I g r a t e f u l t o t h e Legion?Does t h i s
     g r a t i t u d e b r i n g me t o i n t e g r a t e m y s e l f
     f u l l y , i n t o . Her M y s t i q u e i n o r d e r t h a t
     a l l t h e s a c r i f i c e s t h a . t s h e m a k e s f o r my
     t r a i n i n g may y i e l d t h e maximum f r u i t 2

7.         A m I t h a n k f u l t o my s u p e r i o r s ?     Do I
     k e e p i n mind a l l t h e b e n e f i t s       that       I -
     have r e c e i v e d through them, i n t h e i n t e l          -
     l e c t u a l , m a t e r i a l and s o c i a l s p h e r e s ?
     D o e s t h i s n e v e r e n t e r my head?Am I g r a t e
     f u l f o r t h e i r constant dedication                  and
                                                                     -
     sacrifice, t h e i r guidance,their prayers,
     t h e permissions t h e y g r a n t and t h o s e             -
     t h e y r e f u s e ? Do I a p p r e c i a t e e v e n t h e i r
     r e b u k e s , as w e l l as t h e i r      favours and
      p r i v i l e g e s , o r , p r a c t i c a l l y s p e a k i n g , do
      I r e g a r d a l l t h i s a s b e i n g n o more                than
      my d u e ?

8.          How d o I s h o w my g r a t i t u d e        --  through
      p r a y e r and obedience,            complemented            by
      w o r d s o f k i n d n e s s ? I s t h i s g r a t i t u d e --
      r a t h e r a mere s o c i a l n i c e t y , w i t h n o i n n
      er c o n v i c t i o n ?
                                                                          -
9.          When my s e l f - l o . v e i s h u r t ,   does   it
      make m e f o r g e t t h e b e n e f i t s      I  have r e -
      c e i v e d ? Does i t b r i n g m e t o b e u n g r a t e -
      ful, either internaliy o r externally ? .

10.         Do I t h a n k my b r o t h e r s s i n c e r e l y f o r
      t h e s e r v i c e s t h e y d o me, e v e n t h e      small
      e s t , o r do I t h i n k t h a t t h e s e a r e r e a l l y
      s o m e t h i n g w h i c h t h e y owe m e ?

11.       Do I c a l m l y a c c e p t t h e f a v o u r s d o n e
      m e by o t h e r s , o r d o I t h i n k      that     I am
      self-sufficient?

12.         Am I g r a t e f u l t o m p a r e n t s ?
                                          y                  H a s my
      r e l i g i o u s l i f e g i v e n me a b e t t e r u n d e r -
      s t a n d i n g o f t h e r o l e t h e y have played i n
      my l i f e ? H h a t f o r m d o e s m     y gratitude             -
      take    --      do I p r a y f o r them and s e n d them
      l e t t e r s ? Do I a p p r e c i a t e t h e i r d i s i n t e r -
      e s t e d co-operation?

13.         A f t e r a j o u r n e y on which I h a v e n e t
      s o m e o n e who h a s b e e n s p e c i a l l y h e l p f u l ,
      h a v e I t h e f i n e s s e t o w r i t e him a l e t t e r
      thanking him f o r h i s k i n d n e s s ? .
    -   .
        L   .




                14.          Have I e n o u g h s e n s i t i v i t y t o c o n s i d e r
                        e v e r y t h i n g t h a t i s d o n e f o r me a s a f a v
                      . o u r , and t o be g r a t e f u l f o r it ?
                                                                                       -
I

I               15.     . Do I c u l t i v a t e a s e n s e o f gratitude,
                      s e e i n g i t a s one o f t h e most b e a u t i f u l
                      of C h r i s t i a n o r Legionary v i r t u e s ?




                                                                                            i:
                                                                                            i... r
                                                        6 . SIMPLICITY
                                                         3




1.        A t first g l a n c e , c a n I s a y t h a t      I am
     s i m p l e ? I f n o t , i s t h i s d u e t o my t e m p e r -
     ment, o r is it because I t r y t o camouflage
     a b a s i c a t t i t u d e which g o e s a g a i n s t t h e -
                          y
     demands o f m v o c a t i o n b e h i n d t h e g e n o r a l
     c o n f u s i o n o f my c o n d u c t a n d my m a n n e r o f
     life?

2.         D o I r e g a r d s i m p l i c i t y as a c h a r a c t e r -
     i s t i c o f n a i v e and a r t l e s s f o l k , o r as one
     o f t h e most b e a u t i f u l v i r t u e s p o r t r a y e d
     i n t h e Gospels, one o f t h e most                  fitting
     f o r a Legionary?

3.     '   Do I r e a l i s e t h a t w i t h o u t s i m p l i c i t y I
     waste l i f e ' s v a l u e s i n v a i n o s t e n t a t i o n ?
     I n my e v e r y d a y l i f e , d o I r e j e c t t h e t r u t h
     t h a t h o l i n e s s must b e t h e same f o r a
     Legionary and f o r e v e r y C h r i s t i a n         --      com-
     p l e t e identification with Christ?

4.         Have I t h e h a b i t o f i n v e n t i n g p e r s o n a l
     n e e d s , o r have I l o n g a g o r e a l i s e d       that
     my f i r s t s t e p t o w a r d s h o l i n e s s m u s t b e t o
     forget my own p e r s o n a l i t y ?          Docs t h e v e r y
       t h o u g h t o f d o i n g t h i s , e v e n t o become o n e
       w i t h C h r i s t , c a u s e me r e v u l s i o n ?

5.       Do I l i k e d o i n g my d u t y i n a d i f f e r e n t
      way f r o m e v e r y o n e e l s e ? Have I a c r a z e f o r
      originality?

6.          Does it o f t e n h a p p e n t h a t I     s e e even
      ordinary things i n a different                   l i g h t from
      e v e r y o n e e l s e ? Why    --
                                        because        I want t o
      c m p h a s i s e my own p e r s o n a l i t y ?

7.       Do I f e e l e m b i t t e r e d a n d a s t o n i s h e d        -
      when t h e s u p e r i o r a s k s f o r a n a c c o u n t o f
      my a c t i o n s ? Do I f e e l a b i t v i c t i m i s e d ?

8.          Do I a v o i d a r g u m e n t s a s much a s p o s s -
      i b l e ? Do I e n g a g e i'n t h e m k e e p i n g ' s e l f - c o n
      t r o l a n d p o l i t e n e s s ? Have I t h e s i m p l i c i t y
      t o a d m i t my i g n o r a n c e o n o n e p o i n t , a n d t o
      h u m b l y o f f e r my i n f o r m a t i o n o n a n o t h e r ? Do
      I l i k e t o d r a m a t i s e and f o c u s a t t e n t i o n on
      m y s e l f when I am a s k e d a q u e s t i o n ?

9.          Have I r e a c h e d s u c h a d e g r e e o f n a t u r a l
      s i m p l e g o o d n e s s t h a t I now n o t i c e c l e a r l y
      t h a t t h e r e a r e b r o t h e r s who l i k e t o b e     in
      my c o m p a n y ?

10.         Do I u n d e r s t a n d t h a t s i m p l i c i t y , a s w e l l
      a s making m e holy,makes t h e l i v e s o f t h o s e
      a r o u n d me h a p p i e r ? Do I s e e how,             in this
      way, I a v o i d t h e c o n s t a n t a n d a l m o s t         un-
      s p e a k a b l e s u f f e r i n g s c a u s e d b y my own
      selfishness?
                                                                            -
11.         Do t h e s u p e r i o r s h a v e t o b e very c a r e
      f u l i n t h c i r d e a l i n g s w i t h me?   Am    I i  ;
      c l i n e d t o brood a l o t o v e r t h e       attitude
      t h e y t a k e t o w a r d s me? A s I s e e i t ,     is        -
      e v e r y t h i n g meant a s r u d e n e s s and d i s c o u r
      t e s y t o w a r d s me?
                                                                        -
12.         A m I n a t u r a l l y s u s p i c i o u s ? Do I s e e a
      d o u b l e meaning i n e v e r y t h i n g which            is
      s a i d t o me? Do I w o r k h a r d              t o correct
      t h i s tendegcy?

13.         What d t t i t u d e d o I t a k e
      i n a t i o n o f c o n s c i e n c e ? Do
                                                                       -
                                                        d u r i n g exam
                                                        I make n o
      e f f o r t t o g e t t o know ~ y s c l f ? I s t h i s
      b e c a u s e o f l a c k o f s e l f - d e n i a l i n making
      t h e e f f o r t t o c o n c e n t r a t e and t h i n k over
      t h e d e e p e s t r e a s o n s b e h i n d my a c t i o n s ?
      Is i t f r o m l a c k o f h u m i l i t y ,         because     I
      d o n ' t want t o g e t d i s c o u r a g e d         by coming
      f a c e t o f a c e w i t h m y own f a i l i n g s ?

14.         What a r e t h e u s u a l e n d s       I have i n
      mind w h i l t w o r k i n g    --     t h e Kingdom, t t h e
      g o o d o f s o u l s ? Do I a l s o t h i n k o f d e v e l -
      o p i n g my own p e r s o n a l i t y , , o f s h o w i n g o f f ,
      of p l e a s i n g o t h e r s , o r of p a s s i n g t h e       -
      t i m e p l e a s a n t l y ? , . Have I t h e o n e i d e a o f
      s t a y i n g o u t of d a n g e r and        avoiding any
,     kind of complications?
                                                         64. SILENCE




1.          Has s i l e n c e a n y m e a n i n g f o r me? Do I
      s e e * i n it n o t h i n g more t h a n a n i m p o s i t i o n
      f o r c e d o n me b-? m y e n v i r o n m e n t , a n o b l i g .
      a t i o n j u s t l i k s a n y o t h e r ? Do I t h i n k i t
      c a n b e f u l f i l l e d j u s t b y n o t s p e a k i n g ? Do
      I keep s i l e n c e o u t o f l a z i n e s s ?

2.        Am I a l o v e r o f s i l e n c e , o r d o I b r e a k
    i t w h e n e v e r I g e t t h e c h a n c e ? Do I app-
  . r e c i a t e a ~ r e s p e c t it?
                        d

3.          Do I k e e p s i l e n c e o n l y b e c a u s e   I am.
      o r d e r e d t o do s o , c r b e c a u s e hy k e e p i n g
      i t I f e e l a t e a s e ? On t h e o t ? : c r ,!and, d o
      I u s e i t a s a m e a n s t o f,orm my c h a r a c t e r
      t o g i v e g l o r y t o God a n d f u l f i l l H i s W i l l
      o r t o u n i t e m y s e l f t o H i m more e a s i l y and
      m o r e o f t e n ? Do I s e e i t a s o n e o f         the -
      v a l u a b l e m e a n s w h i c h God h a s o f g i v i n g m e
      H i s g r a c e ? Have I a d o p t e d s i l e n c e     a s one
                                                             y
      o f t h e most i m p o r t a n t f a c t o r s of m i n t e r
      ior life?
                                                                           , .I
b .      T h o u g h I may k e e p e x t e r i o r s i l e n c e , d o
      I never bother about its i n t e r i o r aspect?
          On t h e c o n t r a r y , i s t h e f o r m e r n o more             -
          t h a n a m a n i f e s t a t i o n o f t h e l a t t e r 3 Do I
          s i l e n c e my i m a g i n a t i o n a n d f a n t a s y , m y cur  -
          i o s i t y a n d t h e u r g e t o f i n d o u t a b o u t .-
          everything?

    5.       Do I t a k e a d v a n t a g e o f s i l e n c e t o l e a r n
          how t o s p e a k when i t i s n e c e s s a r y ?

    6.          Am I a r e c k l e s s s p e a k e r ? Do I s p e a k
          w i t h o u t rhyme o r r e a s o n . ? Have I t h e h a b i t
          o f t h i n k i n g b e f o r e s p e a k i n g , o r Ro I o f t e n
          have t o t a k e back t h o u g h t l e s s remarks 3

    7.          Have I a d e e p r e s p e c t f o r t h e s i l e n c e
          o t h e r s a r e t r y i n g t o keep ?

    8.         How d o I o b s e r v e a b s o l u t e s i l e n c e ?

    9.          Do I t h a n k God f o r t h e p r i c e l e s s g i f t
          o f i n n e r s i l e n c e i n t h e m i d s t o f t h e con
          f u s i o n o f t h i s world?Do I a l s o a p p r e c i a 6 : z
          b e i n g a b l e t o e n j o y outward s i l e n c e s r l
          often?

    10.         I s my way o f l i f e g o v e r n e d b y a n
I
                                                                          a -




          a c t i v e s i l e n c e , o r by e m p t y ,    constant
          c h a t t e r which a c h i e v e s n o t h i n g u s e f u l ?
                                                 65. CON VERSATION




           What p u r p o s e .do I g i v e my c o n v e r s a t i o n
     --do I m e r e l y want t o r e l a x ,           t o exchange
     i t e m s o f news, o r t o g e t r e l i e f from t h e
     e n f o r c e d s i l e n c e I ' v e h a d t o k e e p ? Do I
     g i v e them a s u p e r n a t u r a l p u r p o s e ?

           Have I t h e h a b i t o f r e s p e c t i n g s i l e n c e
     e v e n i n t h e way I s p e a k ? D o I b r e a k . i t -
     o n l y f o r o b j e c t i v e l y v a l i d r e a s o n s ? Do I
     m e r e l y p u t up w i t h s i l e n c e , o r d o I u s e i t
     t o s p e a k t o God?

3.         I n c o n v e r s a t i o n s , . do I u s u a l l y h o l d
     t h e f l o o r a l l t h e t i m e ? What t h e m e s        lend
                                                                               -   I
     t h e m s e l v e s m o s t t o t h i s ? Do I s p e a k i n a
     rclaxed, light-hearted,or s p i r i t u a l vein?
     Am I c a p a b l e o f l e t t i n g o t h e r s s p e a k ,      -
                                                                                   ti
     w h i l e h e l p i n g t o b u i l d up t h e c o n v e r s a-    t
                                                                           -
     i o n ? D O ' I i n t e r r u p t by c u t t i n g a c r o s s
     w h a t o t h e r s a r e s a y i n g ? Do I a p o l o g i s e
     when t h i s h a p p e n s ? How d o I r e a c t when I
                                                                                   I
     a interrupted?
      m

4.        Do I a u t o m a t i c a l l y c o n t r a d i c t w h a t e v e r
                                                                                   I" 1
                                                                                   I--

     t o p i c o f c o n v e r s a t i o n is r a i s e d ,   o r do I
                                  -   248   -
    1        give i n without a struggle?

                    Do I e n j o y s p e a k i n g o f C h r i s t , o f t h e
              Legion and i t s i d e a l s ,              of our p l a n s and
              methods of a p o s t o l a t e ,            and o f t h e i n t e r -
              e s t s o f s o u l s ? Evcn t h o u g h I d o n ' t l i k e
              speaking o f t h e s e themes,                    do I t r y t o d o
              s o a l l t h e s a m e ? Do I make a s p e c i a l c f f -
              o r t d u r i n g e v . e n i n g c o n v c r s a t i o n ? E v e n when
              speaking of other s u b j e c t s , i s t h e r e always
              a c e r t a i n calm and a s s u r a n c e i n m words,       y
              which d r a w s t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n t o w a r d s more
              s e r i o u s and t r a n s c e n d e n t s u b j e c t s ? 0 r , d o I
              speak about everything i n such a f l i p p a n t
              way t h a t e v e n t h e m o s t           serious           subjects
              s o u n d l i g h t a n d t r i f l i n g o n my l i p s ? Do I
              systematically avoid a l l s e r i o u s s u b j e c t s ,
             o r a t l e a s t t h e s p i r i t u a l o n e s ? Am                 I  a
             perpetual "preacher" during conversations
              --wanting t o be taken f o r a " s p i r i t u a l "
             r e l i g i o u s , d o I s p i c e my c o n v e r s a t i o n s
             with a c e r t a i n f a l s e mysticism which                          -
             c o u l d l e a d o t h e r s t o d e v e l o p some k i n d
             o f a v e r s i o n t o s p i r i t u a l t h i n g s ? Do I p a y
             no a t t e n t i o n t o t h e s u b j e c t s             introduced
             b y o t h e r s ? Do I r e f u s e t o s p e a k               u n t i l my .
             own c h c i c e i s g i v e n p r e c e d e n c e ? F u r t h e-          r
             m o r e , d o I c a r e l e s s l y pass o n . t o s o m e -                  .
             t h i n g e l s e whenever I see' f i t t o c h a n g e
             t h e s u b j e c t ? Do I a l w a y s l e t my t h o u g h t s
             w a n d e r d u r i n g c o n v e r s a t i o n ? A r e my r e m a r k s
             usually inopportune?

    J   6.         Do I t h i n k o v e r my p o i n t ' o f v i e w b e
             f o r e e x p r e s s i o n it?Once I have f o r m u l a t e x
    1
i            my i d e a s , d o I s p e a k a b o u t t h e m c l e a r l y
         and f i r m l y ?

*i   .         Have I e n o u g h v i s i o n t o e n a b l e me t o
         r e n o u n c e my own o p i n i o n ,    e v e n when I am
         c o n v i n c e d I am r i g h t , w i t h t h e k n o w l e d g e
         t h a t I m u s t p r o t e c t a t r e a s u r e more v a l u -
         a b l e than m i n t e l 1 i g e n c e : t h e love I have
                            y
         f o r God a n d f o r m b r o t h e r s ?
                                     y                    Am I an ob
                                   n
         ~ t i n a t e ' ~ e r s owho i s c a p a b l e o f s t a n d i n g
         up t o e v e r y o n e n o t b y f o r c e o f r ~ ? a s o n , b u t
         by f o r c e o f p a s s i o n and a n g e r ?

8.             Do I make a n e f f o r t n o t t o b e a "know-
         a l l r f who a n s w e r s e v e r y q u e s t i o n w h i c h -
         c o m e s up i n e v e r y c o n v e r s a t i o n ? Do I
         s i n c e r e l y and n o b l y a d m i t    m  y    ignorance
         when n e c e s s a r y , o r d o I t r y t o b l u f f         my
         way o u t ?

3.            D o I s u b t l y f o s t e r my own r e p u t a t i o n
         b y d e v i o u s m e t h o d s , l i k e p r o c l a i m i n g my
         h u m i l i t y i n o r d e r t o b e t h o u g h t humble,
                                 y
         o r admitting m ignorance t o prevent oth-
         e r s from s u s p e c t i n g t h a t t h i s i s r e a l l y
              the case?

10.            Do I t r y t o f i n d t h e b r o t h e r s whom I
         t h i n k a r e l e s s c a p a b l e o f dominating con-
         v e r s a t i o n s ? D o I s e e k o u t b r o t h e r s who -
         have n o t advanced a s f a r i n t h e i r s t u d i e s
         a s I h a v e , s o a s t o d a z z l e t h e m w i t h my
         knowledge?

11.      Do I a v o i d a l l e x c h a . n g e o f v i e w s ? Why:
   b e c a u s e I am s h y o r am a f r a i d o f          seemiqg
   i n f e r i o r , o r because I f e e l entrenched I n
                            y
                    i n m own o p i n i o n s ?         Does a l l o p p o s i t . i o n
                    t e r r i f y me?

3         12.          Do I g e t a n n o y e d a n d o f f e n d e d when my
                    opinions a r e not accepted o r a r e quest-
                    ioned,  o r d o I know how .t .o . c ,. o n t r o l my-
                    self?

          13.              Have I t h e h a b i t o f t h i n k i n g c a r e
                    'fulXy before speaking,or do 1 , o f t e n have
                     t o , t a k e back 'what I 've s a i d ? .         ,




          14.             Do I l i k e a n o p e n , d i r e c t way o f s p e a k
                    i n g , o r do I p r e f e r u s i n g ambiguous, o b z
                    c u r e e x p r e s s i o n s ? Has t h i s s e c o n d a t t i F
                    u d e become a h a b i t ?
                                                                                      -
          15.             Do I a l w a y s t e l l t h e t r u t h ? Even i f I
                    donlt,do I e a r n e s t l y avoid t e l l i n g l i e s ?
                ,   Does my s e l f - l o v e f o r c e me t o l i e , t h u s
                    d i s r u p t i n g a l l my e f f o r t s t o c o m m u n i c a t e
                    w i t h o t h e r s ? Does t h i s h a p p e n e s p e c i a l l y
                                               y
                    i n t h e c a s e of m s u p e r i o r ?

          1 6 .'          A m I b r u s q u e ? Do r e s p e c t a n d d e l i c a c y
                    w i t h o t h e r s seem e x a g g e r a t e d a n d u s e l e s s
                    t o me?

          17.              Do I u s e a p r o p e r v o c a b u l a r y ? I s i t a f

7
L.-
                    f l e e t e d o r e l a b o r a t e ? Do I u s e u n s u i t a b l e
                    words and p h r a s e s b e c a u s e I l i k e a p p e a r -
                    i n g q u a i n t o r f t n a t u r a l " ? Do 1 , o n t h e c a n t
                    n a r y , a d a p t t h e L e g i d n l s posit?.on of d i g
--I                 n i t y and a u t h e n t i c i t y i n t h i s aspect ?
-1




.     .   .18.           Do my w o r d s g i v e       t h e impression t h a t
       I have achieved inner balance? Do I fail
       to control nervousness and hastiness      -
       when I am speaking?Do I use many cliches
       and hackneyed phrases which are .the pro
       duct of "untidy thinkingl1?Do I give t h i s
       aspect of my training no importance?
 19
1.    . I raise my voice so astone be voice?
           Do I keep a normal
                               to
                                   of
                                      heard
                                            Do
                                           by
       everyone? Do I shout in order to domin-
       ate others? Do I always shout when I am
       speaking?

20.       When the superior joins in the conver,
       sation,do I carry on in a natural w a y ? ~ o
       I lose the gift o f speech whenever he
       approaches? Is this because I am ashamed
       to continue the subjects I'm speaking of
       because I have no confidence in him, or
       because there exists between us a wall
       of coldness and misunderstanding ? For
       this reason,. do I always keep serious
       when he is around?Do I avoid confronting
       him? Do I fail to show interest in the
       topic's he raises? Do I talk to the other
       brothers while he is speaking ? Have I
       reached the extreme of showing indiffer
       ence or even contempt for what he speaks
       about, or of showing impatience that he
       should finish?
            i .

21.       Am I extremely flattering,the soul of
       respect whenever the superior is arougd?
       Am I very different when he is not there?
       Am I careless, rude or too familiar with
       him?Through lack of supernatural spirit,
                       d o I t r e a t h i m a c c o r d i n g a s t h e human
                       side of h i s character agrees                   o r disag-
                       r - e e s w i t h m e ? I f h e r e f u s e s me s o m e t h i n g ,

    I       @
                       o r c o r r e c t s me,
                      .annoyed?
                                                     d o I become       sullen or


                22.
    II                       Do I t r y n e v e r t o h u r t         a n y o n e b y my
                      words, o r , i n t r y i n g t o develope a s h a r p
                      w i t . a n d be t a k e n f o r a c o n g e n i a l p e r s o n ,
                      do I c o n s t a n t l y torment o t h e r s with s a r
    I                 casm a n d d e r i s i o n ? D o I p e r h a p s b e l o n g     to
*
                      t h a t c l a s s o f p e o p l e who c a n b e w i t t y , i n   -
                      t e l l i g e n t o r f u n n y o n l y when t h e y a r e

    B                 o f f e n d i n g o r d e r i d i n g s o m e o n e e l s e ? When
                      I s e e someone b e i n g v i c t i m i s e d
                      group, a       m J q u i c k t o j o i n i n w i t h my own
                                                                                  by    a

                      s t i n g i n g c o m m e n t ? Do I d e f e n d h i m b y g o
    I                 i n g a g a i n s t t h e group?          Do I a t          least-
                      l e a v e t h e g r o u p , t h u s d i s a s s o c i a t i n g my
                      self from t h i s t y p e of procedure?
    J
    r           23.         When I a o f f e n d e d i n t h i s w a y , d o
                                         m                                          I
                      g e t angry?           Could t h e r e a s o n f o r t h i s -

    rl                b e t h a t I l o v e d o i n g it t o o t h e r s , a n d s o
                      i t i s e s p e c i a l l y h u r t f u l f o r me t o s u f f
                      e r it m y s e l f ?      Do I r e p l y a n g r i l y when-
                      t h i s h a p p e n s , o r a t l e a s t make a n i r o n i c
    1.                                  de
                      r e j o i ~ ~ i d x . signed t o hurt          t h e person
                      who h a s o f f e n d e d me? O r , . d o I s u f f e r s i-  l
                      e n t l y and g r a c e f u l l y f o r love of         Our -
    I                 L o r d ? D o e s i t s e r v e t o s t r e n g t h e n my r -
                      s o l v e n e v e r t o d o t h e same t o o t h e r s ?
                                                                                    e



        3       2      .    Do I o f t e n i n d u l g e i n t h i . s t y p e of
                      j e s t ? Has i t b e c o m e a h a b i t , o r am I ' g r a d
                      u a l l y e l i m i n a t i n g these demonstrations-
    ,   ,
          o f l e v i t y a n d l a c k o f c h a r i t y ? Do I s e e
          t h e effort I make on t h i s p o i n t as a n i n
          e s c a p a b l e demand o f t h e L e g i o n a r y s p i r i ' f ?

25.             Am I c a r e f u l n o t t o o f f e n d my        compan
      .   i o n s by t h e way I speak o r a c t when t h e y
          a r e in;olved       i n s p e c i a l p e r s o n a l circum-
          s t a n c e s ? Have I a c q u i r e d e n o u g h      sensit-
          i v i t y t o know t h e r i g h t moment t o e n c o u r
          a g e them o r h e l p t h e m t o b e f a i t h f u l ? ;   D
          I do t h i s w i l l i n g l y f o r t h e       s a k e of -
      :   Christ?
              I


26.             Have I alsc t h i s s e n s e o f c h a r i t y t o
          w a r d s o t h e r s when I d e a l w i t h spirituai
          matters during conversation ?

27.            Do I e x e r c i s e a l l t h e b e s t       qualities
          o f my s o u l n a t u r a l l y a n d v i g o r o u s l y d u r
          i n g c o n v e r s a t i o n , o r d o I a l l o w human      re
  .       s p e c t t o h i n d e r my f u l f i l l m e n t o f s u c h
  I                                      y
          n o b l e a s p e c t of m s u r r e n d e r      t o Christ
          a n d my l i f e a s a L e g i o n a r y r e l i g i o u s ?
                                                                     6 . READING
                                                                      6




1:            1.         Am I f o n d of r e a d i n g ? D o I a t           least
                   r e a d f o r t h e s a k e o f my t r a i n i n g ?
'i   1        2.          Am I i n c a p a b l e o f c o n t r o l l i n g my i n t e r
                   e s t i n reading,           with t h e r e s u l t t h a t      I-
                   r e a d when I s h o u l d b e d o i n g s o m e t h i n g -
 [-]      *
                   e l s e ? D o I l e t my s u p e r i o r know a b o u t t h i s ,
                   when i t h a p p z n s ? Do I t r y t o f o o l m y s e l f

i1
 1
                   w i t h f a l s e excuses?Do I a l s o f o o l t h e s u g
                   e r i o r i n t o g i v i n g me p e r m i s s i o n s     in this
                   f i e l d ? If s o m e t h i n g r e a l l y c a p t u r e s my i -
                                                                                     a

i                  terest,
                   read        it?
                                   do I use a l l p o s s i b l e t i m e s t o

i
              3.         If I d o n ' t r e a d , i s i t b e c a u s e I am t o 3

I
I
              4.
                   l a z y , o r because of f e a r o r s c r u p l e s ?

                         What i s my t a s t e i n r e a d i n g ? w h i c h d o I
                   like best       --      t h e b o o k s w h i c h h e l p me f o r m
                   m y s e l f , o r t h o s e which f o s t e r m      y    sensual
                   i t y ? Am I u n a b l e t o d i s m i s s my own l i k e :
                   and d i s l i k e s t o r e a d t h e books which s u p p
      I
     --
                                 y
                   l e m e n t m s t u d i e s , h e l p me t o a c q u i r e t h e
                                                                      y
                   c o r r e c t c r i t e r i a , o r broaden m s p i r i t u a l
                   o r cultural vision?
      I
      I s my r e a d i n g v e r y d i s o r g a n i s e d ? Do I
always look f o r l i g h t reading-matter?Do I
l i k e reading novels?

       Do I a v o i d a n y t h i n g w h i c h c o u l d e n d a n g
 e r p u r i t y ? Do I a l s o k e e p away f r o m w h a t
 c o u l d u p s e t t h e b a l a n c e o f my c r i t e r i a ,
 e . g . expressions of pride,of i n d i f f e r e n c e
 t o t h e s u p e r n a t u r a l , of l a c k o f     faith or
 charity?          Do I a v o i d t h e m e s w h i c h    could
damage my r e l i g i o u s s p i r i t -- t h i n g s l i k e
 s e n s u a l v i e w p o i n t s , l o v e o f outward b r i l l
 i a n c e a n d d i s p l a y , c o n t e m p t f o r more h i d z
 en v a l u e s , f o r s i m p l i c i t y o r s u p e r n a t u r a l
reality,or identification with t h e s p i r i t
of t h e w o r l d ?        Though I may h a v e g o t p e r
mission t o read it, have I t h e sense t o
l e a v e down a b o o k w h i c h I s e e c o u l d d o me
h a r m ? Have I - e v e r d o n e t h i s ? Has i t c o s t
                                            y
me a l o t ? Do I c o n t r o l m e y e s s o a s n o t -                 '


t o see drawings,                 photographs e t c . which
c o u l d b e h a r m f u l ? W h e n I am r e a d i n g a p a s s
a g e and r e a l i s e it would b e b e t t e r n o t t o
g o a h e a d , d c I u s e s o p h i s m s , r e a s s u r e my
s e l f t h a t i t ' s a l r i g h t ? D o I g l a d l y p u t it
asidefor t h e s a k e of m y , p u r i t y o f s o u l and
my-integrity as a religious?                        Do I l e a v e
o u t t h e p a r t s w h i c h I am f o r b i d d e n        to
r e a d ? Do I r e a d t h e m ? Do I a t l e a s t s k i m
o v e r them s o a s t o k e e p t h e a p p e a r a n c e of
n o t co'mmitting a f a u l t w h i l e a t t h e             same
time g e t t i n g a n i d e a o f t h e i r c o n t e n t ?
Have I e v e r r e a d a b o o k w i t h o u t p e r m i s s -
i o n ? Have I a t l e a s t l e a f e d t h r o u g h o n e ?
Have I t o l d my s u p e r i o r a f t e r w a r d s ? D o I
re.ad a l l t h e n e w s p a p e r s o r p a m p h l e t s      I -
      p i c k ' u p , i g r r o r i n g t h e r ? x p l i . c i t no.rm w h i c h
      f o r b i d s t h i s ? Am I c a r c . f u 1 a h o u t r e a d i n g
      o t t l o r ~ . ) t ~ c , ll > S z' n o t c . ~ ' ?
                                   t

            I 1 f . r ~ do I I      I      I     i     t    f 0 ~ 1 , : i r I ~-
      t h e r e a d i n g o f n o v e l s ? ?'hrough b r e a k i n g
      t h i s r u l e , h a s my s o u l b y now          lost the
      candour and s o b r i e t y expected o f a r e l i g -
      i o u s ? Have I r e a l i s e d         that    n o v e l s have
      no place i n t h e l i v e s of              those      who h a v e
                                                     i
      d e d i c a t e d t h e m s e l v e s t o ~ o dn a s u p e r n a t
      u r a l environment?Do I r e s o r ' t t o t h e c a t c F
      - c r y "1 x u s t know l i f e " , i n o r d e r t o j u s-             t
      i f y m y s e l f on t h i s p o i n t ?

8.          What c r i t e r i a g o v e r n my r e a d i n g - t h a t
      o f r e a d i n g more a n d more, o f r e a d i n g more
      t h a n o t h e r s , o r o f r e a d i n g what o t h e r s do
      n o t r e a d ? I s i t my a i m t o l o o k f o r s t r o n g
      emotion, t o f l e e from - r e a l i t - y , - t o m e r e l y               -
      p a s s t h e t i m e , o r t o mould m y s e l f i n a s p e
      c i f i c a s p e c t f o r t h e s a k e o f t h e Kingdom?
      Do I t r y t o c h a n n e l t h e s e e f f o r t s , w i t h
      t h e g u i d a n c e o f my s u p e r i o r s , t o w a r d s t h e
      c o m p l e t i o n o f my t r a i n i a g ?  Do I a l w a y s
      o b e y t h e i r a d v i c e on t h i s v e r y     important
      poinf?

9.          Do I p o s s e s s > n d f o l l o w a s c h e m e f o r
      r e a d i n g , w i t h my s u p e r i o r ' s a p p r o v a l ?

10.        Do I r e a d p a s s i v e l y , without        getting
      a n y b e n e f i t ? Do I f a i l t o t a k e n o t e s or
      t o t h i n k o v e r what I have read?Do I b l i n d
      l y a c c e p t whatever I read?Do books e a s i l y
                                                                                              y
                                      c h a n g e my ! - d e a l s o r c r i t e r i a , o r m u n d e r
                                      s t a n d i n g o f l i f e and e v e n t s ? Do I " t a k e
                                      fichas" ?

                                11.         Have I t h o u g h t d e e p l y o n t h i s p o i n t ,
                                      t a l k i n g i t o v e r w i t h my s u p e r i o r s , a s i t
                                      i s a v e r y p e r s o n a l problem which v a r i e s
                                      a c c o r d i n g t o t h e c i r c u m s t a n c e s a n d n e c e-
                                                                                                         s
                                      s i t i e s o f e a c h i n d i v i d u a l ? Have I e v e r
                                      t a k e n advantage o f t h e ne2dc o f                   others
                                      t o r e a d w h a t t h e y were r e a d i n g , o r , c o n v e r
                                      s e l y , h a v e I e v e r t r i e d t o i m p o s e my ow;
                                      p a r t i c u l a r n e e d s on o t h e r s ?

                                12.         I n t h i s a s p e c t , a m I g o v e r n e d by corn
-   -   -   -   .   .   -   -   - .
                                      p l e t e s i n c e r i t y a n d a Zot    of       supernat-
                                                                   -   . . .               -  .
                                      ural-spirit?
                                                                           67. HAPPINESS




                                                                 I   .
                   1.       D I l i v e my r e l i g i o u s l i f e h a p p i l y , o r
                             o
                        a m I a l w a y s t r o u b l e d , d e ' f e a t e d , o r e m b i t t e-
                                                                                                 r

    4          -   2.
                        ed and d i s s a t i s f i e d ?

                              Where d o e s t h i s l a c k o f h a p p i n e s s h a v e
-   3'.-                i t s s o u r c e - - - i n - t h e m e d i o c r i t y o f my r e 1
                        i g i o u s l i f e , o r i n i t s l a c k o f s e c u r e f o u n- z
                        a t i o n s ? What i s my h a p p i n e s s b a s e d on          --
                        o n t h e c e r t a i n t y of h a v i n g t r i e d         to   -
                        p l e a s e God, o n t h e c e r t a i n t r i u m p h w h i c l
                        C h r i s t o f f e r s me, o r o n t h e f a c t           that    -
                        f r o m now o n I ' l l b e s a v i n g s o u l s ? A m             I

    (4              a
                        happy s i m p l y because I have no problems,
                        b e c a u s e o f t h e p r o g r e s s o f my human a m b i-.
                        i o n s t o succeed i n l i f e using                  t h e meanE
                                                                                            t

                        t h e Legion p r o v i d e s ,        o r because of t h e -
                        s u p e r f i c i a l v i e w I h a v e o f m y l i f e a n d my
                        potential?

     7
     --
                            What i s my h a p p i n e s s l i k e - - i s i t d e e p ,
                   3. p e r s o n a l and genuine,         o r s u p e r f i c i a l and
                      f r i v o l o u s ? Does it e a s i l y e x t e n d      itself
                      t o o t h e r s ? Is i t s u p e r n a t u r a l s i n c e i t -
     I
           I
                      s p r i n g s from t h e c l o s e n e s s o f my u n i o n
                      w i t h God?
        4.             Do I a l w a y s k e e p a c o n s t r u c t i v e f r a m e
                 o f m i n d ? A m I a p e r p e t u a l o p t i m i s t ? Can I
                                                                                                           1
                                                                                                           i

                 a l w a y s s e e t h e good s i d e o f p e o p l e , t h i n g s ,                      1

                 events?                                                                                   I
                                                                                                           i
        5.         Is my o p t i m i s m s h a l l o w a n d i d e a l i s t i c ,                     ..- .
             t h u s p r e v e n t i n g m e from s e e i n g t h i n g s a s
             t h e y a r e ? I s it r e a l i s t i c o r s u p e r f i c i a l ?                     Jj
             D o e s i t s p r i n g f r o m my i n t e r i o r l i f e ?

        6.         Am I t h o r o u g h l y p e s s i m i s t i c ? Do I s e e
             everything i n dark colours?                       Do I make n o
             e f f o r t t o improve t h i n g s s i n c e I s e e e v e r y
             t h i n g a s b e i n g beyond remedy?                I n what a s
             p e c t s is' t h i s p e s s i m i s m m o s t e v i d e n t       -
                                                                                my
                                                                                         -            Pi
                                                                                                      !
                                                                                                      ,.-
             d e a l i n g s w i t h p e o p l e , my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s
             w h a t h a p p e n s a r o u n d me, o r t h e way I
             l i v e my p e r s o n a l l i f e ?                                                     A
-   .        -     -
        7.         D-o ? - g e t d i s c b u ~ a - g e d o n m e e t i n g t h e             -   -

             l e a s t obstacle?Do I reach t h e stage of                            -                rl
                                                                                                      LJ
             g i v i n g up t h e f i g h t ? Do I l i v e i n a c o n
             s t a n t s t a t e of despondency,thus saving m i
             s e l f t h e t r o u b l e o f having t o dominate
             myself?Am I a l w a y s f u l l of r e g r e t s f o r -
             t h e p a s t , worry f o r t h e p r e s e n t , concern
                                                                                                      7
                                                                                                      .
                                                                                                      .-

             f o r t h e f u t u r e ? Am I a l w a y s u n e a s y ?
                                                                                                 fi
                                                                                                      D
        8.          How d o I r e a c t when I d o w e l l             --
                                                                     do I
             t h a n k God, d o I i n d u l g e i n v a n i t y a n d sdf
             s u f f i d i e n c y o r give vent t o exaggerated-
             o p t i m i s m ? What h a p p e n s when I f a i l        do  --
             I become d e j e c t e d , o r r a t h e r r e a c t s t r o n g
             l y t o o v e r c o m e t h e p r o b l e m 3 D o I strive t o
             work w i t h g r e a t e r c a r e ? ,
                                                                                                      :i
                                         -   260   -                                                  ..
        9.         Am I a l w a y s a constructive helper,or do
              I d e s t r o y t h c p l a n s of 0 t h t . r ~ hy m y over-
i             c a u t iousnes:; a n d p c s s i m i : ; m ' ?
:   I
        10.         D I realise t h a t pessimism
                     o                                i s simply
              l a c k o f faith in God's l o v e and power? Is
              m y o p t i m i s m therefore based solely on Him?
                                                68. HUMAN RESPECT




    1.      A r e a l l my a c t i o n s r u l e d b y        a    finely
         sensitive purity of intention?

    2.      So I s e e human r e s p e c t a s o n e o f                 the
-        mo-st u n h e a l t h y - s-i-gns o f m y - s e l f - l o v e ,   of
         my d e s i r e t o h a v e t h i n g s e a s y , o r o f -my-
         cowardice?

    3.         Have I d e c l a r e d a l l - o u t w a r o n t h i s
     '   v i c e u n t i l d e a t h ? I s t h i s o n e o f t h e c l e a-
                                                                          r
         e s t s i g a s o f my m a n l y , f i g h t i n g s p i r i t ?

    4.         Am I a f r a i d o f "what p e o p l e w i l l s a y " ?
         Does i t r o b m e o f my p e a c e o f m i n d ?             Does
         t h i s f e a r t y p i f y my w h o l e l i f e ? A m I a t
         t h e m e r c y of rcy e n v i r o n m e n t , o r , o n t h e c o n
         t r a r y , d o I p ~ dt u t y f i r s t n o m a t t e r : w h e %
         I a m ? Do I r u n my own l i f e ,              o r i s it r u n
         b y my e n v i r o n i n e n t ? Do I work j u s t a s w e l l
         b y m y s e l f a s when I a m w i t h o t h e r s ? Do I
         k e e p t h e R u l e w i t h t h e same p e r f e c t i o n ?
         An I a good r e l * , i o u s b e c a u s e t h e r e s t        of
         t h e community a r e ? I f t h e e n v i r o n m e n t          is
         u n f a v o r a b l e , do 1 r i s e above i t ?         By work
         ing a s I ought, do I banish a l l c r i t i c i s m
     o r - g r u m b l i n g , r i d i c u l e o r d i s r e s p e c t from   .
     my l i f e ?

5.         Am I o n e of t h o s e who l i k e t o b l a m e
     t h e i r f a u l t s on t h e i r e n v i r o n m e n t ? Do I
     e x c u s e my i m p e r f e c t i o n s b y t h e . y o r d s " e v e l y
     o n e e l s e d o e s i t " ? Is l a c k o f c o u r a g e t l ~ e
     r e a l r e a s o n f o r my l a c k o f p e r f e c t i o n ?

6.         Is my l a c k o f i n i t i a t i v e a l s o d u e t o -.
     human r e s p e c t ? Does f e a r o f what o t h e r s
     w i l l s a y i n h i b i t me f r o m b e i n g r e s p e c t f u l
     a n d h e l p f u l t o w a r d s my s u p e r i o r s ,     from   -
     p r a i s i n g a n d d e f e n d i n g my b r o t h e r s ,   from
     elevating conversation t o a s p i r i t u a l -
     p l a n e o r f r o m f u l f i l l i n g t h e Holy          Rule
     w i t h p r e c i s i o n and p e r f e c t i o n ?

7.        Do I l o o k f o r t h e p r a i s e ,        admiration
     a n d a p p r o v a l f r o m o t h e r s i n a l l my d o k g s ?
     Does t h e o p i n i o n o f o t h e r s mean n o t h i n g
     t o me i n my e f f o r t t o d o g o o d a n d a v o i d
     evil?

8.         Has i t h a p p e n e d t h a t . I h a v e g o n e t o       -
     t h e o t h e r extreme         - b r a s h n e s s - i n my e -.f
     f o r t s t o f i g h t human r e s p e c t ?        ~ a v eI       -
     become r u d e a n d b r u s q u e b e c a u s e I d o n ' t
     c a r e what a n y o n e t h i n k s ?      Does t h i s b r i n g
     my t o p l a y down w h a t o t h e r s a r e i n t e r e s t d
     i n ? Do I g e t g r e a t p l e a s u r e o u t o f d o i n g               ~.
     t h i s i n f r o n t of o t h e r s s o a s t o a p p e a r
     s t r o n g and manly?

9.   .                                              y
         I s p u r i t y o f i n t e n t i o n i n m work            one
o f t h e g r e a t ' . m a r k s o f homnge .I   pay   to
J e s u s o u t of love for , H i m ?
                                  69, MEDIOCRITY         A N D TEPIDlTY




I      1.        Have I a n y a c t u a l a p p r e c i a t i o n o f     the
            life      o r t h e s p i r i t of perfection?
llsl
       2.         Do I f a l l i n t o f r e q u e n t , d e l i b e r a t e ix
            p e r f e c t i o n s o r v e n i a l s i n s ? Do I r e a l i s e
            t h i s f u l l y , o r o n l y u n c o n s c i o u s l y ? Do !.
            f e e l no remorse of conscience?

       3,         Does t h e f a c t t h a t I c a n         fall into a          .

            s t a t e o f s p i r i t u a l t e p i d i t y make a n i n p e-s
            s i o n o n m e , o r d o e s i t l e z v e m e c o l d ? Do
            I fear t h i s s t a t e l i k e the equivalent of
            tuberculosis o r leprosy i n the spiritual
            l i f e , o r a s t h e s u r e s t m e a n s t o h a v e God
            a b a n d o n m e t o m y s e l f a n d w i t h d r a w H i s he43
            fr~mme?

       4.        Po I c o n s i d e r t h a t by b e i n g . lukeviarm I '
                                            y
            c o u l d be p r e p a r i n g m own c o n d e m n a t i o n i f
            God i n H i s m e r c y d o e s n o t c u r e m e ?

       5.       D.0 I u n d e r s t a n d t h e e t r i l o f    tepidity
            i n t h a t i t p l a c e s me i n i m m i n e n t     danger
            o.f c o m m i t t i n g many s i n s ?
6.          Do I t h i n k o f t h e Holy R u l e d u r i n g t h e
      d a y ? Do I o f t e n b r e a k i t , o r d o I a p p l y i t
      m o s t f a i t h f u l l y t o t h e f u l f i l l m e n t o f my
      duty?

7.          Do I d i s l i k e s p i r i t u a l m a t t e r s ? H a s t h i s
      become a h a b i t ? Am I s y s t e m a t i c a l l y s u p e r
      f i c i a l a b o u t them?        Is' my t h o u g h t           on
                                                                             -
      e v a n g e l i c a l and L e g i o n a r y p r i n c i p l e s v e r y
      s h a l l o w ? Does t h e s a m e a p p l y t o my m e d i t
      a t i o n on e t e l > n l l t r u t h s ?
                                                                             -
8.        * D o e s my w h o l e a t t i t u d e t o f o r m a l p r a y e r
      c o n s i s t o f b o ~ s e d o m a n d i n e r t i a , o r a r e my.
      a c t s of piety l i v i n g events?                  D I u n d e-
                                                             o            r
      stand t h e i r huge importance a s a                      source          -- ' ?
      o f s p i r i t u a l e n e r g y f o r t h e - r e s t o f my             .
                                                                                 ;
                                                                                 3
                                                                                     .1
                                                                                      I
      day?                                                                       i.




9.          Do I know. how t o s u p e r n a t u r a l i s e a c t -
      i o n s which a r e n o t s t r i c t l y s p i r i t u a l ?

10.         Does p u r i t y of i n t e n t i o n p l a y a n y p a r t
      i n w h a t I d o ? Does i t e v e n i n t a r e s t m e ?
      Do I o f t e n r e n e w t h e i n t e n t i o n t o w a r d s       -
      w h i c h I d i r e c t my a c t i o n s , o r a r s they alL
      marked w i t h t h e stamp' o f a t w i s t e d i n t e n t          -
      i o n l i k e v a n i t y , n a t u r a l p r e f e r e n c e s , com
      fort o r routine?
                                                                           -
11.        Do I troy I ~ J; ~ l w ~ i y : ;     attr:ftrl t o m y       duty,
             d i s t r , r c : t i n j s rnycclf w i t h ~ i s c l e s s
      r ~ c . j t -                                                     --
      i11 i n ~ ~ ; ?

12.         What a t t i t u d e d o I t a k e t a t h e c a l l t o
      p e r f e c t i o n which g r a c e o f f e r s ? D o I a n s w e r
                a t t e n t i v e ' l y , d u t i f u l l y o r d o I ,invariab!.y
                reject it?

          13.       Do I a p p r e c i a t e community l i f e , o r d(l
                I t h i n k n o t h i n g o f making a n e x c e p t i o n o f
                myself?

          14.        A m I s u p e r f i c i a l i n my way o f l i f e ? A m
                I h a s t y , o r bound by r o u t i n e : d o I s t a r t
                e a c h new i t e m w i t h o u t l i f e , i d e a l i s m o r
                t h e d e s i r e t o d o i t w e l l ? Am I l a x a n d
                s l o t h f u l , o r c a r e l e s s about   s t a r t i n g on
                t i m e ? Do     I f e e l n o shame a b o u t        staying
                on i n b e d f o r a f e w moments i n t h e morn
                ing?
                                                                               -
          15.         Do I a l w a y s s e e k t h e law o f l e a s t e f f
                o r t ? A s Ear a s I am c o n c e r n e d , i s t h e e a s
                                               y
                i e s t t h e b e s t ? I s m own i n t e r e s t o r w e l l =
                b e i n g my o n l y c r i t e r i o n ?

          16.          Is n o t f a l l i n g i n t o r m o r t a l s i n m s o l c
                                                                             y
                p r i n c i p l e i n l i v i n g my r e l i g i o u s l i f e ?
                Does my l i f e f a l l i n t o t h e s e t h ~ e ec a t e -
                g o r i e s : many t h i n g s b a d l y d o n e , many- -
                good t h i n g s d o n e h a l f - h e a r t c d l y , m a n y g m c ~
                t h i n g s l e f t undone?

          17.         I s m y whole d a y s p e n t i n c o n s t a n t d i --    s
                s i p a t i o n ? Do I s u f f e r f r o m c h r o n i c c u r
                iosity? D o I t h i n k t h a t m o d e s t y i s only'
                f o r b e g i n n e r s ? Do I c u l t i v a t e m e n t a l r e -
                c o l l e c t i o n , o r am I a s l a v e t o my f r i v o -
                l o u s imagination?
          18.       Do I f o s t e r a s p i r i t o f responsibility?
    'I                                 -   2 0 *I   -
I
    J L
      Am I a n x i o u s t h a t e v e r y t h i n g I b e g i n p r o
      d u c e good r e s u l t s f o r t h e g l o r y of       ~ o d y
      t h e s a l v a t i o n of s o u l s ,   the prosperity
      a n d h o l i n e s s o f t h e L e g i o n , f o r my own
      s a n c t i f i c a t i o n etc. ?

19.         Does my r o l e a s c o - f o u n d e r mean n o t h -
      i n g t o me, n o r t h e f a c t t h a t t h i s p r e s e n t
      l i f e i s t h e seed O f e t e r n i t y ?

20.        Have I e v e r b e e n t h e l e a s t b i - t worried
      about reaching holiness?'Have I f i r m l y
      decided on a t t a i n i n g i t , a n d ,      a s a re
      s u l t have I s i n c e r e l y d e v o t e d myself      to
      t h e t a s k o f g e t t i n g r i d .of my d e f e c t s ?
      Does my p r o b l e m l i e i n a. f u n d a m e n t a l h c k
      o f u n i v e r s a l , s i n c e r e and genuine s e l f -
      d e n i a l ? Do I -and w i l l 1- a l w a y s t r y t o
      g e t around t h i s point? :

         Do I o f t e n h a v e d o u b t s a b o u t my          voc-
      ation?

            Do I d e s p a i r o f l r e a c h i n g h o l i n e s s ? Do
      I r e a c h t h e s t a g e o f d o u b t i n g a b o u t my
      own s a l v a t i o n ? Do I a t l e a s t n o t i c e I am
      a l w a y s p l u n g e d i n t h e b l a c k e s t pessimisn?
      Does t h i s come c l o s e t o d e s p a i r ?

23.        Have t h e norms a n d a d v i c e s I r e c e i v e
      no g r e a t importance f o r me,since t h e y d c
      n o t b i n d " s u b g r a v i " ( u n d e r p a i n of sin) 3

24.        Am I s u r p r i s e d a n d i r r i t a t e d when I
      f e e l t h e e f f e c t s o f my vow o f p o v e r t y ?
      Do I p r a c t i c e p o v e r t y as l o n g a s I n e e d
-1    .            n o t h i n g , b u t as s o o n a s I f e e l t h e ' n c e d
                   o f somethirrg, d o .I l o s e no t i m e i n getting
                   it?

'"1   2 5 .                 A s r e g a r d s my vow o f c h a s t i t y ,
                    t r y t o s a t i s f y my s e n s u a l i t y i n a t h o u s
                                                                                   do   I

                    a n d d i f f e r e n t ways ( e . g . r e a d i n g s . . l o o k s
J               . " . a f f e c t ' i o n s . . ) ? Do I z e a l o u s l y w a t c h o w r
                    my a f f e c t i o n s , o r d o I s p e n d t h e m o n -
                    e v e r y c r e a t u r e w h i c h a t t r a c t s me?

          26.           Is my o b e d i e n c e p r o m p t a n d h a p p y when
                  it is a q u e s t i o n o f d o i n g what I l i k e ? I s

'B                i t s l o w a n d r e l u c t a n t when ny will i s 02
                  p o s e d ? Do I t h i n k I a m o n t h e r o a d t o h o l
                  iness while everything is going well? 1                         s
                  i t l o n g s i n c e I c h a n g e d my a t t i t u d e o f
 !                s i m p l e and f i l i a l s p o n t a n e i t y w i t h t h e
                  s u p e r i o r f o r t h e r i g i d i t y o f a p e r s o n who
                  approaches a functionary o f authority ?
-;I               Because of t h i s , i s it a r a r e t h i n g t o
                  s e e m e i n t h e s u p e r i o r ' s r o o m ? Do I p u t
                  o f f s p i r i t u a l d i r e c t i o n a s l o n g a s I can?

1                                 pe
                  ~ o u l d ' m ~ r f e c t i o n be j u d g e d       by
                  number o f t i m e s I a m s e e n g o i n g t o a s k
                                                                              the

                  f o r p e n a n c e s ? C o u l d I be c o n s i d a r e d p e g
                  f e c t ? Why h a v e I n e v e r p e r m i s s i o n s t o -
                  a s k -- b e c a u s e I p r e s u m e t h e m , b e c a u s e i f
                  p o s s i b l e I a s k f o r them ehrough o t h e r s ,
                  b r because I a c t without t h e s u p e r i o r ' s
                  consent?

          27.                                              y
                       Have I c o n f i d e n c e i n m s u p e r i o r s , t e l l
                  i n g t h e m a l l my s t r u g g l e s ,  difficulties
                  and t e m p t a t i o n s ? O r , a s f a r a s t h e y how,
                   y
       d o e s m l i f e r o l l g e n t l y a l o n g on r a i l s ?
       Do I t r y t o f o o l t h e s u p e r i o r by o n l y         -
       h a l f o p e n i n g myself t o him,         or telling
      'him t h i n g s l o n g a f t e r t h e y h a p p e n ? A r e my
       d e a l i n g s w i t h him a l w a y s s l y and cunnirg?                   i
       To whom d o I u s u a l l y g o t o c o n f e s s i o n ?                   k.



28.        Have I y e t m a n a g e d t o b e c o n s i d e r a t e
      i n w h a t I d o , o r am I a l w a y s u n p l e a s a n t ?
      Am I ' p e r p e t u a l l y troublesome,ttiscouraged,               .   t



      s a d and m e l a n c h o l i c , o r sns$i,-ious ?

29          Do I t r y t o b e s i n c e r e l y h u m b l e , o r am
      I a n x i o u s t o show o f f ? I s i t s o m e t h i n g -
      r a r e f o r me t o p u t u p w i t h h u m i l i a t i o n
      f o r God's s a k e ?
                                                                                   r!
                                                                                   !Y   sb




30.
 .
            D o I sometimes i n t e r n a l l y
      my s u p e r i o r s ? Does t h i s h a p p e n
                                                       criticise
                                                          w i t h b r-
                                                                     o             3
      t h e r s a s w e l l ? Has t h i s c r i t i c i s m a n y  -
      outward expression?

31.        Am I o n e o f t h o s e who m i n i m i s e        their
                                                                                   1
                                                                                   L




      d e f e c t s a s much a s t h e y c a n , . . b y l o o k i n g
      f o r a n d p o i n t i n g o u t t h e d e f e c t s of   0 t-h                  3
      ers?

32.        Does t h e r e a l i t y o f C h r i s t mean n o t -   h
      i n g t o me? Does i t h a r d l y i n t e r e s t me ?
      I s t h e B l e s s e d V i r g i n n o t h i n g more t o m e
      than a kind of i d e a l of moral beauty ?
      Has t h e " H a i l Mary" l o n g l o s t a l l
      m e a n i n g f o r me?
                                                                its            7
                                                                               i   .
                                                                                   .

                                                                               I
33.         Have f a i t h a n d s u p e r n a t u r a l s p i r i t -                  1
      l o n g a g o l o s t t h e i r s i g n i f i c a n c e i n my           ,-)
                         l i f e ? Do I' a l w a y s act from p u r e l y n a t u r -
                         a l motives?

         I,,   1   34.          I f I s e e t h a t I am i n a s t a t e o f t e p i d
                         i t y , d o I w a n t t o g e t o u t o f i t ? What d o
                         I d o t o a t t a i n t h i s ? Do I a s k God t o e n
         I               l i g h t e n me? Do I t r y t o m e d i t a t e          deeply
                         o n t h e e t e r n a l t r u t h s ? Do I c u l t i v a t e
                         s u p e r n a t u r a l c r i t e r i a ? Do I s t r i v e f o r
                         a n i n t e n s e f a i t h i n e v e r y t h i n g I d o ? Do
    I                    I t r u s t i n God? Do I t r y . t o b e f a i t h f u l
    I                    t o g r a c e ? Do I w a n t t o l o v e my Holy Rules?

    !
        I                Do I p r o m o t e m d e v o t i o n t o t h e S a c r e d
                                                   y
                         H e a r t i n e v e r y p o s s i b l e way? Do I p a y
                         f r e q u e n t v i s i t s t o t h e Blc s s c d S a c r a m e n t ?
;                        Do I t r y t o f o l l o w a l l t h e a d v i c e w h i c h
                   .     I r e c e i v e on t h i s s t r u g g l e      in spiritual
                         direction?

                   35.         Do I n e v e r g e t t h e c o u r a g e t o u n d e r
                         t a k e t h e t a s k o f knowing m y s e l f , e w n w h e z
                         t h i s t h o u g h t w o r r i e s m e , r e g a r d i n g it a s
I                        a t h a n k l e s s and d i f f i c u l t endeavour ?
I
                   36;         I n s h o r t , do I w i s h t o be a s a i n t o r
                         n o t ? Do I r e a l l y w a n t t o l o v e C h r i s t , o r
                         do I want t o k e e p on l o v i n g m y s e l f ?

i                  37.        Do I r e a l i s e t h a t i f I h a v e      both t h e
11
I        .I
        I .
                         d e s i r e and a b i l i t y , I c a n t r a v e l t h e r o a d
                         t o h o l i n e s s and t o f i n d i n g f a v o u r w i t h
                         God? Does t h i s make me t r u e l y h a p p y , e v e n
                         i n d i f f i c u l t moments? Do I r e a l i s 1 3 t h a t
                         If   ? c G n a n d d o n ' t w a n t t ? go a h c a d , I - a m
                         I n lrnmlnent d a n g e ~o f l o s i n g m y v o c a t i o n
                         a n d i n a l l p r o b a b i l i t y my v e r y s a l v a t i o n ?
          Do I s e e t h a t i f I w a n t , a n d a t t h e same
          t i m e d o n o t h i n g a b o u t i t , I am a t e p i d      -
          s o u l whom God d e t e s t s ?

*   38.       Do I t r y t o b e r e a l i s t i c       w i t h myself
          i n e v e r y way?

    39.         A m I a p e r s o n who k e e p s up a p p e a r a m s
          by n a t u r a l v e r v e a n d s e l f - a s s e r t i o n ? Do
          I a c t f a l s e l y s o a s n o t t o i n j u r e my r e
          l a t i o n s w i t h o t h e r s ? Am . a l s o d e v i o u s l y
                                                    I
          i n s i n c e r e w i t h God, t h i n k i n g t h a t b a a u s e
          I have n e v e r s e e n H i m o r e x p e r i e n c e d H i m
          d i r e c t l y , I can s a f e l y adopt a two-faced
          a t t i t u d e towards H i m a s well?

      .
    '40         Do I m e d i t a t e e n o u g h o n G o d ' s words
          i n t h e A p o c a l y p s e : "Quia t e p i d u s e s , i n   -
          c i p i a m e v o m e r e t e e x o r e meo" ( S i n c e you
          a r e n e i t h e r hot n o r c o l d , b u t o n l y l u k -
                                                                      e
          warm, I w i l l s p i t y o u o u t o f my mouth') ?

                                         0
I
!        1,         Do I s y s t e m a t i c a l l y a v o i d a l l s e n t i m m t
                                 y
              ality in m spiritual life,or,in practice
  !
I
              d o I m a k e i t d e p e n d on a s e r i e s o f s e n s e -
:             s e n s a t i o n s and i m p r e s s i o n s which a r e a
              p r o d u c t of m l o w e r n a t u r e ? I s m work
                                    y                               y            -
              u s u a l l y r u l e d by i m p u l s e s f r o m t h e h e a r t
! 1           o r a w i l l g o v e r n e d by r e a s o n ?

         2.         Do I b e l i e v e t h a t i f s e l f - d e n i a l  is -
    g         b a s e d on s e n t i m e n t i t l o s e s most        of  its
              m e r i t ? Do I b e l i e v e t h e s a m e o f f a i t h ? Am
              I aware of t h e mistake involved i n g i v i n g

    J         s u p e r n a t u r a l p r i n c i p l e s second p l a c e t o
                y
              m feelings?

         3.      Could I a c c u r a t e l y d e s c r i b e m y s e l f as'
              being constant i n inconstancy                 on a c c o u n t
              of sentimentality?

         4.         Have I a t e n d e n c y t o w a r d s s p i r i t u a l    -
              l e t h a r g y ? Am I o v e r - s e n s i t i v e t o sad o r
              j o y f u l moods? Do I e n j o y b e i n g g l o o m y a n d
              melancholic?

         5.             y
                  Does m p i e t y t a k e u n m a n l y , e f f e m ' i n a t e
i   '1
',        f o r m s ? A m I s o much u n d e r t h e i n f l u e n c e -
          o f my s e n t i m e n t s t h a t i f t h e y f a i l m e e v e n               I
          my f a i t h i s e c l i p s e d ?
                                                                                          --
     6.         Do I know how t o u s e me f e e l i n g s i n o r
          d e r t o b e more i n t i m a t e w i t h C h r i s t and-                     h.
          w i t h t h e B l e s s e d V i r g i n , o r t o l i v e my
          Rule b e t t e r ?

     7.                    y
                When m f e e l i n g s a r ' e a r o u s e d , d o e s t h i s
          make me o p e n m y s e l f t o e v e r y o n e ,        so that
     '    e v e r y o n e knows my t r o u b l e s ?     On t h e o t h e r
          hand, can I c o r j t r o l myself w e l l enough t o
                      y
          h i a e m d i f f i c u l t i e s from everyone e x c e p t
          t h o s e who c a n h e l p me o v e r c o m e t h e m ? W i t -  h
          o u t overdoing i t , do I r e g u l a r l y             let m    y
          s u p e r i o r s know how I ' m f a r i n g on t h i s --
          p o i n t ? I n d o i n g s o , d o I want c o n s o l a t i o n ,
          o r is f u l f i l l i n g t h e Legion's         r u l e about
          t h i s my o n l y d e s i r e ?

     8.         What i s m u s u a l r e a c t i o n when I f a i l :
                             y
          do I c a s t e v e r y t h i n g t o t h e winds, , l o s e
          f a i t h i n e v e r y t h i n g and everybody, o r g e t
          a n g r y w i t h m y s e l f ? On t h e c o n t r a r y , do I
          see the supernatural benefit                     ci\cy c o u l d
          b r i n g me? Do I make a f r e s h e f f c i - t t o w i n
          o u t ? Do I u s e t h e m a s o n e o f t h e b e s t                   -
          ways o f k e e p i n g h u m b l e ?

     9.         What i s my i ~ s u a lr e a s o n f o r c o m p l a i n -
                                l
          i n g : a lor,;; r r j ~ , f'or) s y r n p a t t ~ y a n d     consol-
          a t i o n , ~r corrc:c i t c d w i s h t o L I C         told      that
          I ' m n o t ::o I \ , l t l , 01.' '1 m o r b i ( l h a h i t o f L c ? i n g
                                               y
          a l w a y s e n m e s h e d i n m own p r o b l e m s ?
10.         Is t h e f a c t t h a t I a l l o w m y s e l f t o be
      c a r r i e d away by s e n t i m e n t a l i t y a s e l . f i s h
      c o m p e n s a t i o n f o r my own w e a k n e s s ?

11.         To c o u n t e r a c t t h i s ,  have     I tried tc
      g r a s p t h e r e a l i t y , t h e v a l u e and t h e l i m
      i t s o f my w e a k n e s s ? C o u l d m w h o l e p r o K
      mem be reduced t o lack of p u r i t y o f
                                                    y
                                                                in-
                                                                    -
      tention, a great lack of self-denial ,or
      t o o much s e n s u a l c o m f o r t ?

12.       Do I a c t on principle?Consequently,do
      I s t r i v e t o make t h e s e p r i n c i p l e s firm
      and c l e a r - c u t ?

13.       Do I work f o r a s t r o n g , d e c i d e d w i l l ?
      Do I t r y t o make i t c o n s t a n t a s w e l l ? Do
      I t r y t o a c t l i k e a man,or a m 1 s l o v e n l y ,
      cowardly, o r foppish?

14.         Has t h e s t r o n g d e s i r e t o g e t a m a n l y
      f o r m a t i o n d e s t r o y e d my t e n d e r n e s s towards
      J e s u s o r t o w a r d s Mary?

15.         Can I p u t c o m p l e t e t r u s t i n G o d , e s p e c
      i a l l y i n t i m e o f d a r k n e s s and desolation?
                              71. RELATZONS        WITH THE FAMIL Y




1.         How d o I s t a n d a s r e g a r d s my d e a l i n g s
     w i t h my f a m i l y .  --   would I c o n s i d e r myself
     a n exemplary r e l i g i o u s on t h i s p o i n t ,              or
     a n i n c o n s t a n t o r n e g l i g e n t o n e ? I s my a t t i
     t u d e i n ' d i r e c t c o n t r a d i c t i o n w i t h w h a t 'y
     know i s t h e s p i r i t o f t h e L e g i o n a n d t h e
     w i l l o f God?

           Do I t h i n k t h a t b e i n g a r e l i g i o u s I a m ,
                                                                  '
     practically speaking,                 exempt       from t h e
     F o u r t h Commandment? Have I t r i e d t o , g r a s p
     t h e t r u e m e a n i n g o f t h i s D i v i n e .command
     i n t h e c o n t e x t o f t h e demands o f t h e r e 1
     i g i o u s l i f e , o r d o my f a m i l y a n d r e l a t i o n s
     mean n o t h i n g t o m e ? Do I f o r g e t t h e m com-
     pletely, o r a t l e a s t never think of                   them
     o v e r l o n g p e r i o d s ? Do I w r i t e t o , t h e m a s
     o f t e n a s i s i a i d down?

3.         Have I b y a n y c h a n c e come t o b e a s h a m -
     e d o f 1 . m ~p e o p l e b e c a u s e o f h a v i n g r e a c h e d
     a higher social, 'cultural o r s p i r i t u a l                    -
     l e v e l t h a n t h e y h a v e ? Have I s h o w n t h i s             F   1
     a t t i t u d e openly?
                                                                              .   0
    1       4.          Have I e v e r b e e n s h y , u n s o c i a b l e - w i t h
                  them a s a r e s u l t o f n o t u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e
                  d i r e c t i v e s I g o t on t h i s p o i n t  in their
                  proper sense?
    1   ,
            5.          Have I y e t m o d i f i e d t h e n a t u r a l a f f e c t
                  i o n I have f o r m p a r e n t s and family,and,
                                             y
                  e n l i g h t e n e d by f a i t h , c o n v e r t e d it i n t o
                  spiritual affection?

I           6.
                       Am I t h a n k f u l f o r e v e r y t h i n g t h e y h a v e
                  given m e i n t h e s p i r i t u a l and m a t e r i a l o r
                  ders    --     t h e gift o f l i f e ,        t h e i r good ex-
                  a m p l e , t h e h e l p t h e y may h a v e g i v e n me t o
                  d e v e l o p e my p r i e s t l y v o c a t i o n ?

            7.          D o I t r y t o r e p a y t h e m by ' r e m e m b e r i n g
                  t h e m v e r y s p e c i a l l y i n my p r a y e r s ?

            8.          D o I s t i l l have an         ill-regulated,uncon
l
i                 trolled affection for
                  t h e m c o n s t a n t l y ? Am I
                                                        t h e m ? Do I t h i n k o T
                                                        too eager t o hear
                  news f r o m t h e m a n d t o        s e e them?
rl
L. 1        9.         Am I a l w a y s w o r r i e d a b o u t t h e i r      finan
                  cia1 s i t u a t i o n o r t h e i r v a r i o u s p r o b l e m s .

1.                a n d d i f f i c u l t i e s , t h u s l o s i n g my p e a c e o f
                  s o u l ? D c t h e i r h a r d s h i p s and d i s a p p o i n t -
                  m e n t s a f f e c t me t o o ?

            10.         Do I t h i n k it i s my d u t y t o h e l p t h e m
                  i n t h e s e s i t u a t i o n s ? Nas t h i s i d e a become
                  a n o b s e s s i o n ? Do I t h e r e f o r e t h i n k I n o
l
Y
L
                  l o n g e r have a v o c a t i o n , s e e i n g a s t h e y need
                  m e s o much? Have I r e a c h e d t h e s t a g e o f
                  s e r i o u s l y considering l e a v i n g t h e Legion

                                          -   277   -
      b e c a u s e o f t h i s ? Have I m e n t i o n e d t h i s             I

                                 La
      t o my s ~ p e r i o ~ ? c k i n g t h e c o u r a g e t o d o
      t h i s , d o I s t i l l c h e r i s h it a s a     secret             3

      hope?                                                                  . .

11.         Have I f a i l e d t o g r a s p t h e f a c t t h a t
      t h i s i s one o f S a t a n ' s most f r e q u e n t and
      clever temptations t o bring about                         the&    -
      andoning o f a v o c a t i o n , and t h a t             it is
      a l l j u s t an excuse t o avoid remd.ining i n                       TI1
      t h e Legion, due t o l a c k o f s e l f - d e n i a l           -    1


      a n d g e n e r o s i t y w i t h God? Do I r e a l i s e
      t h a t I am f o o l i n g m y s e l f , f o r f a r       from
      e a s i n g t h e i r d i f f i c u l t i e s by r e t u r n i n g
      home, I would r a t h e r b e a n a d d i t i o n a l h r        -
      den t o t h o s e t h e y a l r e a d y have?

12.                                                                    -
            Do I r e p l y f o r c e f u l l y t o t h i s t e m p t a t
      i o n b y t r u s t i n g t h a t God w i l l p r o v i d e a s
      long a s I remain f a i t h f u l ?             Do I r e a l i s e
      t h a t p e r h a p s t h e g r e a t e s t c o m f o r t my f a m
      i l y would have i n t h e m i d s t o f t h e i r s u i
      f e r i n g s e n d t f i a l s w o u l d b e t o s e e a so;
      o f t h e i r s c o n s e c r a t e d t o God?

13.         Have I s e r i o u s l y t r i e d t o l e t themknow
      a b o u t w h a t o u r C o n s t i t u t i o n s l a y down a s
      regards families, o r , through lack of i n
                         y
      t e r e s t o n m p a r t , h a v e t h e y come t o r e g
      e n t what t h e y c o n s i d e r a n e x a g g e r a t e d d i s
      c i p l i n e a n d h a r s h n e s s ? Have I        furtherea
      t h e i r d i s s a t i s f a c t i o n b y my own i m p l i c i t
      complaints?

14.        When t h e y a s k s o m e t h i n g .of me      which
      g o e s a g a i n s t my o b l i g a t i o n s a s a L e g i o n -
      a r y r e l i g i o u s , am I t h e f i r s t t o c o n k h c e
      them i t i s n o t f o r s t h e b e s t , o r d o I r e f e r
      everything t o the superior, thereby p u t t                           -
      i n g h-im i n a n awkward p o s i t i o n ?

15.         Do I a l w a y s . t r y t o b r i n g my f ~ m i l y        -
      some g i f t o r s o u v e n i r w h e n e v e r I g e t t h e
      c h a n c e of b e l n g w i t h them, a l t h o u g h t h i s
  ,   may g o a g a i n s t t h e s u p e r i o r ' s w i s h e d a n d
      force him t o g i v e me p e r m i s s i o n ?

16.         When I am w i t h t h e m , d o I t r y . t o g i v e
      them a l i t t l e s u p e r n a t u r a l s p i r i t a n d           -
      b r i n g t h e n c l o s e r t o God?       Do I l e t m       y
      s e l f - b e c a r r i e d away by n a t u r a l i n s t i n c t ,
      f o r g e t t i n g my s t a t e i n l i f e when d e a l i n g
      w i t h them?

                  I v e r y c a r e f u l a b o u t k e e p i n g no.28
      df     t h e R u l e s of P e r f e c t i o n , w h i c h f o r b i d s
      m u n d e r o b e d i e n c e t o g e t mixed up in
        e                                                                    -
      t h e i r a f f a i r s i n a n y way?Do I t r y t o g e t
      a r o u n d t h i s r u l e by c l e v e r ' s u g g e s t i o n s ,
      t r i c k e r y a n d s o p h i s m s s o a s t o b r e a k it
      w i t h o u t p a y i n g t h e p e n a J . t y ? H a v e I become
      i n v o l v e d i n t h e i r a f f a i r s t o t h e p i n t of
      i 3 l i c a t i n g m y s e l f , o r e v e n my s u p e r i o r s
      a n i t h e whole L e g i o n ?

18.       G . I c h e r i s h a s e c r e t h o p e t h a t some
      day I w i l l be a b l e t o h e l p t h e m , a l t h o u g h
      I c a n n o t do s o now?

19.      Have I m e d i t a t e d o n Christ's t e a c h i n g
      and p e r s o n a l example on t h i s s u b j e c t ?
Does the thought that He left Mary be-
c a u s e it w a s t h e will of God h e l p m e t o
overcome my problems about leaving h o m e ?
A m I impressed by Christ's own assertion
that anyone who d o e s not deny himself and
a n d conquer love o f parents and friends,
is- not worthy o f Him?
                            72. RULES FOR SOCIAL BEHAC'IOUR




             Have I a n i n t e r e s t i n t h e r 7 : l e s f o r s o c
     i a l b e h a v i o u r ? Do I o f t c ~ +.          )f t h e m ?-
     Do I e x a m i n e m y s e l f o n                      fulfill.
     t h e m ? Do I a p p r e c i a t e         -1s    ~  scellent
                                                           I   A

      ' - ' - g i v e n way o f .r        -1ng C h r i s t more,
                  i n my o u t w a r    L~earance?

           A,                    Do I u s e r o u g h w o r d s a n d
     g e s t u . s ? Am        f r i v o l o u s ? Is t h i s n o t i c e
     a b l e i n t h e way I l a u g h ,           t h e way  I    use
                                                                          -
     w o r d s , t h e >lay I c a r r y on a c o n v e r s a t i o n
     and t h e t h i n g s I speak about?                 Do I g i v e
     t h e i - p r e s s i o n o f being informed about                   -
     eve        - ~ i n g ?Do I e v e n s p e a k o f t h i n g s I
           i nothing about?


3.       Do I k e e p my t o n g u e u n d e r c o n t r o l , or
     d o I l e t o t h e r s know e v e r y t h i n g I know ?
     Do I e v e n d i s c l o s e t h e t h i n g s I find o u t
     through unbridled c u r i o s i t y ? .

4.        Do I l a u g h n o s i l y , o r d'o I p r e f e r a
     s m i l e ? Do I s p e a k i n a r e f i n e d w a y , r e i t k r
     too relaxed nor too abrupt?

                             -   281   -
5   .                                         y
            A m *I c a r e l e s s a b o u t m p o s t u r e s , o r d o
        I alw.ays c a r r y m y s e l f l i k e a man?          Am I
                                                                                            --I     I

        easy, n a t u r a l , o r s t i f f , arrogant or t i m -
        id?                                                                                 i   '




6.          Do I c u r v e my b o d y w h i l e s t a n d i n g ? Do
                                                                                        LJ
        I p u t a l l ' my w e i g h t o n o n e leg? D I l e a n
                                                          o
        against the walls o r furniture?

7.            Do I a l w a y s l e a n my h e a d s l i g h t l y f o r -
        w a r d ? Do I t h r o w i t b a c k w i t h a h a u g h t y
        a i r ? Do I l e a n i t t o o n e s i d e , e s p e c i a l l y
        wiile praying i n t h e chapel?

8.            Do I k e e p my b a c k s t r a i g h t w h i l e I am
        s i t t i n g down, o r d o I l o o k f o r t h e m o s t
        c o m f o r t a b l e p o s i t i o n ? Do I k e e p my f e e t        '

                                                                          -
                                                                                       T-       7


        t o g e t h e r , o r d o I c a r e l e s s l y c r o s s my                   i ,
        legs?                                                                          . -1

9.            Do I k e e p my e y e s f r o m w a n d e r i n g , w i t h
        o u t e x a g g e r a t i n g t h i s a s p e c t ? Do I       100s
        e v e r y w h e r e ? A r e my g l a n c e s d i s c r e e t ,   or
        a r e they h a r d , haughty o r languid?                      Am I
        c a r e f u l a b o u t what I l o o k a t ,
        d u r i n g games sr o u t i n g s ? Does t h i s
                                                             especially
                                                                       self-
                                                                                   I
        c o n t r o l h e l p ne t o k e e p God's p r e s e n c e i n
        my s o u l a n d t o s a f e g u a r d p u r i t y ? D o I t a k e
        special care with outsiders,                        women' a n d
        children?                                                                  r        i



10.          Do I t o u c h o t h e r s i n a n y way?Do I d o            -
        s o on p u r p o s e ?                                     S

11.        A m I c a r e f u l n o t t o make f a c e s ,          never
        showing s i g n s of c o n t e m p t , i m p a t i e n c e , d i s-
       p l e a s u r e , s a d n e s s , s e v e r i t y o r boundles;
       j o y by means o f f a c i a l e x p r e s s i o n s ? . D o I
       always t r y t o be calm and b a l a n c e d ?

 12.         Do I g i v e e v e r y o n e t h e i r d u e m a r k s O F
       r e s p e c t a n d good w i l l ?

13.         Do I go up and down s t a i r s c a r e f u l l y ?

'14.         Do I n e v e r l e a v e my .room w i t h o u t k i n g
       f u l l y d r e s s e d ? Do I k e e p t h e r u l e s  for
       s o c i a l behaviour f a i t h f u l l y ,  e v e n when
       I a m by m y s e l f ?

15.        Can C h r i s t ' s d i s t i n c t i o n a n d   dignity
       b e seen s h i n i n g i n my l i f e ?
                                                 73.   CONSTANCY
                                                                                     t-"
                                                                                           I
                                                                                     ir
                                                                                     EL.
                                                                                           \



1.          Do I c o n s i d e r p e r s e v e r a n c e a s a    fund-
      a m e n t a l r e q u i s i t e f o r my s t a t e o f l i f e ?
      A s a r e s u l t , have I c a r e f u l l y prepared m         y
      s e l f f o r t h e c o n s t a n t s t r u g g l e w h i c h my
      religious an6:priestly vocation e n t a i l s ?
      gave I y e t formed t h e i d e a t h a t i f m y l i f e
      i s t , l e a d m e s t r a i g h t t o God it m u s t         be
      comphLetely dedicated t o t h i s s t r u g g l e ?
P
r:.        D o T r e g u l s r l y m e d i t a t e on t h e f a c t       -      -

      t h s t "he w;lo puts his h a n d t o t h e p i o u g h
      and l o o k s hacktt i s n o t worthy o f C h r i s t 3

3.         X r a l i s i n g t h a ? f a i l v ~ e sa r c i n e v i t a b l e    .
      0x1  t h e road t o hoiiness,               do I q u i c k l y re
      c o v c r a f t e r each ::ctb:ick and r e n e v my e z
      fort?

LI.         Hou c o i i s i s t e n t am S i n f : . 2            , my     -
      vocetian        : d o I' entertain 2 a u 5 t s ab0u.t it?
      Zo I t r y t o get a r o u n d ' i t ? Am I t o u c h y
      on t L i s p o i n t , n o t l e 3 c ? i n g i t b e b r o u g h t
      holne. t o ne i n a n y way? A m I c r : t h u s i a s t i c
      n b o ~ ! ti t , n e v e r e v e n t h i n k i n c    of looking
      b a c k ? Have I e v e r i r i - 2 e r n a l J . g t u ~ n c dt r a i --
                                                                             t
     o r t o my v o c a t i o n ?

5.         Do I f i g h t c o n s t a n t 1 . y ,;rid w h o l e h e a r t d l y
     f o r f i d c l i t y t o thc r9i:'! ?   +;'    :n . t h e s m a l l - -
                     os
     a c t i o ~ ~ f rny l i f e , d < i T d c ~ n c ~ r : s t r a t ct h e
     t e n a c i t y i m p l i e d by t h e n o t t o " u n t i l d e a t n
     i n t h e f r o n t l i n e 1 ' ? Do I d e n y . m y s e l f           -
     c o n s i s t e n t l y , b e i n g c o n s t a n t i n t h e s m a l-   l
     est details?

6.         Do I d r e a m o f I t i n s t a ; : c h o l i n e s s " ? ' Do
     I i m a g i n e t h a t I c a n bccomc h o l y , l e a r n e d
     and w e l l - t r a i n e d without h a r d , hidden and
     c o n s t a n t work? Am I i m p a t i e n t           a b o u t my .
     f o r m a t i o n ? Do I n e v e r f u l f i l l my d u t y p e r
     f e c t l y b e c a u s e I am i m p a t i e n t t o g e t        fi-
                                                                         n
     ished?

7.         Do I work m e t h o d i c a l l y , c a r e l e s s l y o r
     p u r e l y i m p u l . s i v e l y ? Is t h i s l a s t a t t i t u d e
     due t o l a z i n e s s o r to t h e sophism " I ' m
     just like that" ?                    Is it d u e t o l a c k o f
     self-denial?

9.        Do I u s u a l l y g i v e u? a t t h e f i r s t d i f - f
     i c u l t y < I m e e t ? Do I g i v e i n o n l y when      it
     i s g r e a t o r a n n o y i n g ? Do I t a c k l e i t w i t h
     a l o t o f e n t h u s i a s m ? Do I l i k e t o b e g i n
     each d a y as if I were s t a r t i n g o u t a f r e s h
     on t h e road t o s a n c t i t y ?

9.        Am I e n c o u r a g e d b y t h e t h o u g h t t h a t          -
     C h r i s t i s a l w a y s w i t h me? D.oes t h i s s e r v e
     t o make m e m o r e c o n s i s t e n t i n t h e f a i t h           -
     a n d more c e r t a i n o f d i v i n e h e l p ? When I
I         a m s a d a n d d e p r e s s e d , d o I know how t o
          keep on f i g h t i n g , hoping f o r b e t t e r h s ?

    10.         Do I u s u a l l y t h i n k d e e p l y b e f o r e d o -
          i n g t h i n g s ? Once I h a v e b e g u n , d o e s       it
          s t r i k e me a s l a c k o f w i l l - p o w e r . t o l e a v e
                                                                                    k...
          t h e j o b u n f i n i s h e d ? Do I o f t e n c o n t e n t m y
          s e i f with planning vain,selfish projects,
          w i t h o u t e v e r g e t t i n g :round    t o putting
          t h e m i n t o p r a c t i c e ? Do I c a r r y o u t     the
          p l a n s I m a k e f o r my s p i r i t u a l l i f e ?

    11.         Am I o f t e n d i s c o u r a g e d ?      Is t h i s a
          p b r e l y p h y s i c a l r e a c t i o n b o r d e r i n g on     -
          exhaustion, or a l s o an unsatisfied                         nat-
          u r a l l o n g i n g ? Does i t s t e m f r o m wounded
          s e l f - l o v e ? Dc I g e t d e p r e s s e d i f t h e h i g h
          c o n c e p t I h a v e of m y s e l f i s shown t o b e
          f a l s e b y my f a i l u r e t o c a r r y o u t m y r e s
          elutions? Does my c o n d u c t c h a n g e n o t i c e
          a b l y a t t h e s e t i m e s , o r d o I k e e p i t c o-      z
          s t a n t i n s p i t e of myself?

    12.      Does d e p r e s s i o n h e l p m e t o w o r k w i t h
          more p u r i t y o f i n t e n t i o n a n d u i t h m o r e         -
          desire t o do s o m e t h i n g w o r t h w h i l e     for
          God?

    13.       Have I , b y a n y c h a n c e , p u t my v o c a t i o n
          i n d a n g e r by f o s t e r i n g thesemorhid s t a t e s
          o f mind?

    14.        t!ar, 1:ttc:        !'r.r.vc,ur o f m y 'I j. TI: of p r a y e r a
          c.lccl i n c a r l , wit11 t hc: r e s u l t t h a t I am c o n t e r t
          t o l i v e #.r inl.if:ioc:rc, r o u t i n e l i f c ? D o God
      a n d t h e s o u l s o f my f e l l o w - m e n     mean n o t -
                                                                      h
      i n g t o me?

15.         Is my l i f e c h a k a c t e r i s e d by will-power,
      o r by u n s t a b l e s e n t i m e n t a l i t y ? Is t h i s
      e s p e c i a l l y n o t i c e a b l e i n t h e way I f u l f i i l
        y
      m d u t i e s a s regards prayer?

16.         On e x a m i n i n g m y s e l f , d o I f i n d t h a t I
      h a v e many f a u l t s whose , o r i g i n c a n b e             -
      traced t o lack of constancy?                      Do I g i v e
      t h e impression o f incon.stancy i n every
      a s p e c t o f my t r a i n i n g ?

17.         Have d i s r e g a r d f o r c o n s t a n c y o r a c c e g
      t a n c e of f r i v o l i t y c r e p t i n t o m  y conver
      s a t i o n s a t any time?          When I m e e t a-nyone
      w i t h a l i t t l e c h a r m , am I s o c a r r i e d away
      a s t o a l t e r my v o c a t i o n , my i d e a l s , o r a t
                   y
      l e a s t m s c a l e of values?

18.         Do I k e e p c o n s t a n c y w i t h t o o much s e .-v         '


      e r i t y , n e v e r k n o w i n g how t o c h a n g e i n
      s p i t e o f t h e f a c t t h a t i t may c a u s e ann--
      o y a n c e t o o t h e r s if I d o n ' t ?     Do I' g i v l !
..    my own p l a n s a n d p r o j e c t s f o r t h e cornmoll
      good?

19.        Do I p r a y f o r c o n s t a n c y , e v e r y d a y , a s
      w e l l a s t h e g r a c e o f p e r s e v e r i n g till t h e
      end?
                                    74. SPIRITUAL PROGRESS




1.         Am I r e a l l y c o n s c i o u s o f making p r o          -
     g r e s s ? ' Which a s p e c t s show ' t h i s p r o g r e s s
     most    --      t h e knowledge and l o v e o f C h r i s t ,
     t h e Legion's s p i r i t and m y s t i q u e , o r t h e
                                y
     f u l f i l l m e n t o f m vows a n d r u l e s ?

2.         I n w h a t d o I make my s p i r i t u a l p r o p e s s
     consist      --      a v o i d i n g more a n d more w h a t e v e r
     c o u l d d i s t r a c t me d u r i n g p r a y e r o r f o s t e r
     d i s s i p a t i o n during t h e day, avoiding a l l
     possible failings, o r rather t o increase
     t h e l o v e o f God I p u t i n t o e v e r y a c t i o n
     o f t h e d a y , o r t o g r o w more          p e r f e c t each
     d a y i n t h e p r a c t i c e 'of L e g i o n a r y v i r t u e s ?

3.        Is i t m aim t o a d v a n c e more e a c h
                       y                                           day
     i n t h e p e r f e c t f u l f i l l m e n t o f my d u t y ? On
     t h e c o n t r a r y , have I been s t u c k i n t h e o n e
     place f o r a long time past?                    Have   I over
     thought about t h e reason f o r this?What is
                                     y
     t h e main c a u s e o f m s l u g g i s h n e s s ?

4.        Does i t o f t e n h a p p e n t h a t I l e t m y s e l f
     be c a r r i e d a l o n g by p h y s i c a l o r p s y c h o l o g
     i c a l s t a t e s , o r by t h e c h a n g i n g moods o f my
                 a f f e c t i o n s ? An I e a s i l y a f f e c t e d b y - a d v g s e
                 c l i m a t i c c q n d i t i o n s , o r do I b e a r w i t h them
                 and overcome them w i t h manly d e t e r m i n a t i o n ?
                                          y
                 Do I c o n t r o l m n e r v e s , o r d o I h i d e b e h i n d
                 t h e e x c u s e t h a t t h i s i s i m p o s s i b l e f o r me,
                 t h u s b e i n g a b l e t o do whatever I l i k e ?

           5.       Am I a f r a i d t o g i v e m y s e l f f u l l y t o t h e
                 spiritual life?)

I                    A m I e a s i l y i m p r e s s e d ? Does t h i s g u l l i b
           6 , i l i t y r e a c h t h e s t a g e o f d e p r i v i n g me          07
               my i n i t i a t i v e a n d i n t e l - l i g e n c e ? A m I u n a b l e
               to, c o n t r o l f l e e t r i n g i m p r e s s i o n s ,  allowing
               t h e m t o i n f l u e n c e me f o r a l o n g t i m e ? A m I
               suspicious of everything?

           7,          D o 1 a l l o w m y s e l f t o b e r u l e d by n a t u r
                 a 1 a f f e c t i o n f o r p e o p l e o r t h i n g s ? D o I--
                 realise that this greatly paralyses a l l                          -
                 s p i r i t u a l progress?

           a.          Can I c o n t r o l my n a t u r a l t e n d e n c i e s when,
                 tempermentally speaking,                  I am " u n d e r l o w
- ,              p r e s s u r e ' ' ? Do I p r e v e n t m y s e l f b e i n g c a r -
                 r i e d away by h i l a r i t y when e v e r y t h i n g         is
                 g o i n g -just f i n e ?
      ..   9.         Do I t a k e " s p i r i t u a l h o l i d a y s " ? Do L             '


                 a l w a y s f o l l o w a f i x e d w c r k - p a t t e r n , o r , on
                 t h e c o n t r a r y , when S p i r i t u a l D i r e c t i o n --
                 comes r o u n d , am I a t a l o s s f o r s o m e t h i n g
                 t o speak a b o u t ?

           10.       Do m various a c t i v i t i e s c l a i e m y
                         y                                                       full

:I                                       - 289 -
11.         Do I t h i n k a b o u t t h e v i t a l f a c t o r s i n
                                                                                    I
      my l i f e o n l y i n a s u p e r f i c i a l way?Do t h e y
      mean n o t h i n g t o me? Is t h i s n a t u r a l s u p e r
      f i c i a l i t y coupled with a general c a r e l e s s                  is-.

      n e s s and l a c k of e f f o r t t o l e a r n and         u n-z
      erstand these truths?

12.        What i s my g e n e r a l r u l e o f c o n d u c t      --
      n o t t o d o e v i l , t o d o t h e g o o d I am o r d e-  r            p;
      e d t o do, o r t o do e v e r y t h i n g p e r f e c t l y ?            ,    '
                                                                                I   8


13.      Could I d e s c r i b e myself as h a v i n g              an              P'

      inconstant will?

         Am I      f r a n k a n d o p e n ? Do I l i v e my s p i r
      itual li     f e a l w a y s on g e n e r o u s l i n e ~ ~ o r . d - 6
      I waste      my e f f o r t a n d e n e r g y o n a m a z e o f
      worries      and s c r u p l e s ?

                                                                        -
           D o I l e t my i m a g i n a t i o n r u n r i o t , b u i l d
      i n g b e a u t i f u l c a s t l e s i n t h e a i r ? Have      I
      a remarkable a p t i t u d e f o r being always -
      dissipated?

            Am I g r e a t f o r minding o t h e r p e o p l e s '
      b u s i n e s s ? D o Z n e g l e c t my own? D o I n e v e r
      p a y a t t e n t i o n t o t h e work I h a v e o n - h a n d ?
      Do I o f t e n g e t v e r y d i ~ t r a c t e d ~ e s p e c i a l l y
      i n t h e ' v i t a l i t e m s of programme which p r o        -     '

      v i d e s p i r i t u a l e n e r g y f o r t h e whole day ?

           I s d i . s c r d e r t h e common norm o f my l i f e
      --   my m 5 n t a l a n d s p i r i t u a l f a c u l t i e s , my
                       b e l o n g i n g , ~ , t h e way I u s e t i m e e t c . . . . . ?

                 18.      Do I l e t h u m a n ' r e s p e c t g o v e r n my l i f e ?
                       Is t h i s e v i d e n t i n t h e way I s p e a k ,     the



    'I
                       way I c a r r y o u t my d u t y , e t c . - ?
    I
                 19.         What i s my u s u a l s t a t e o f s o u l             --
                                                                                    an
                       o u t l o o k o f calm a n d p e a c e , a s e r v i l e f e a r
    !           . .    o f f a i l i n g i n my d u t y a n d b e i n g condemned
    I                  f o r t h a t very fact,           a constant       concern
                       f o r t h e outcome o f t h e b a t t l e w i t h ny
                       egoism,         o r t h e f i l i a l confidence of a
                       s o u l under t h e p r o t e c t i o n o f God's        pro-
                       vidence?

            .   20.           I s my p r a y e r a s o u r c e o f g r ' a c e w h i c h
                       keeps m e going f o r t h e r e s t o f t h e day,
                       o r i s i t among t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t g r a c e s
                       I lose through negligence, carelessness,
                       f r . i v o l i t y , s h a l l o w n e s s , o r l a c k of p r l e c i-
                                                                                               s
                       i o n and e f f o r t ?

                '21;      D I t r y my b e s t t o make a g o o d cxam-
                           o

        I        .,
                       ination o f conscience?
                       results?
                                                    Do I n o t i c e gooZ


                22.          Generallysspeaking,do I always d i r e c t
                       my t h o u g h t s t o w a r d s God? Do I Zivs t h e
                       f a c t o f G o d ' s g u i d i n g i n f l u ' e n c e o v e r my
                       w h o l e l i f e , o r am I a r e l i g i o u s ,        consec
'       I              r a t e d t o an I d e a l ,     w h i l c h a r d l y knowing
                       t h e One t o whom I h a v e g i v e n m y s e l f ?

        1       23.       I n p r a y e r , d o I s p e a k t o Cod               simply
        !              and c o n f i d e n t l y ?
                                   75. TEMPTATION'




1.       Do I often h a v e persistent temptations ?
                                                   '
     What are they usually against - chastity,
     .my vocation, faith, sincerity?

2.       What does temptation mean to me - am I
     always afraid of undergoing it? Do I see
     it as a punishment from a God who has ab
     andoned me, or as a proof that He loves -
                                              -
     me?
3.      Do I despair when tempted? Do temptat
     ions take m e by surprise? Do they make m e
     nervous? Have I still not realised that
     temptation is normal, and often necessary,
     during life?
4.      How do I fight against temptation     -
                                              dc
     I put up no resistance? Do I almcst always
     fail? By using sophisms, do I try to re
     tain the pleasure they offer me, without
     having the remorse of conscience produced
     by sin? A:n I careless,allowing temptations
     to go so far that I am unable to overcomfi
     them, or zm I determined and energetic,
     fighting them from the first moment they
      come i n t o my m i n d ?

5.          Do I f i r m l y b e l i e v e t h a t God allows tern     -
      p t a t i o n s t o come o n l y f o r o u r b e t t e r m e n t ?

6.          Do I t h i n k t h a t I am i n c a p a b l e o f f i g h t
      ing temptation,               o r a m I f u l l y convinced-''
      t h a t w i t h t h e h e l p o f God a n d my own p e r
      s o n a l e f f o r t , n o - o n e c a n make me f a l l ? On
      t h e o t h e r hand, have I a " d e f e a t i s t              com-
      p l e x " , f e e l i n g s t a i n e d , t a r n i s h e d , by t h e '
      mere f a c t o f e x p e r i e n c i n g t e m p t a t i o n ?

7.          Have I a l w a y s t r i e d t o h a v e s o u n d p r i n
      c i p l e s a s regards temptation?                Can I d i s        -
      t i n g u i s h c l e a r l y between f s e l i n g and        coq
      senting?          Do I s e e e v e r y t h l n g a s b e i n g       -
      sinful?

8.          Do I c g r e l e s s l y i n v i t e d a n g e r o u s o c c a s -
      i o n s ? Do I ' s c e k o y t o c c a s i o n s o f s i n ?

9.          Do I p r a y a n d b e s e e c h God t h a t I may
      n o t f a l l i n t o t e m p t a t i o n ? Do I make s a c r i
      f i c e s s o t h a t God may g i v e me s t r e n g t h i      ;
      my h o u r o f n e e 9 Do I d e n y m y s e l f i n w h a t
      I am e n t i t l e d t o i n o r d e r t o b e q u i c k a n d
      e n e r g e t i c i n b a n i s h i n g what i s wrong a n d
      s i n f u l ? Do I t r y t o c u l t i v a t e a h o l y ' f e a r
      o f God? Do I o f t e n m e d i t a t e a b o u t t h e e t -
      ernal truths?

10.        Do I t r y t o b e a b s o l u t e l y s t r a i g h t - f o -
                                                                        r
      :.;ard i n t h i s m a t t e r w i t h my. s p i r i t u a l d i - r
      ectoi-?
                                                                   76. UNDERSTANDING




 i.     1

            .   1.         Do I t r y t o a d a p t m y s e l f t o t h e        way   --
                     o t h e r p e o p l e l i v e ? Do I a d j u s t t o        their
 I                   way o f s e e i n g a n d j u d g i n g t h i n g s ?

                2.      A m I n a t u ~ a l l yg e n t l e a n d k i n d , o r a;.
                     ways d i s t a n t , g r u f f , h a r s h a n d l a c k i n g   ic
                     understanding towards everyone e l s e ?

                3.         Do I make t h e ' e f f o r t ' t o s e e a n d u n d e r -
                     s t a n d t h e l i v e s and a f f a i r s of o t h e r s ?

                4.      Am I n a t u r a l l y p r o n e t o d i s a g r e e      with
                     everything?

                5.                                                                   -
                           Am I s t u b b o r n a b o u t my own o p i n i o n s , m v
I                    e r t o l e r a t i n g a n y c o n t r a r y o n e s ? Do I
                     a l w a y s t h i n k I am r i g h t ?       Does      it never
.---,                s t r i k e me t h a t t h i s a t t i t u d e o f m i n e c o u l d
  -1                 be u p s e t t i n g o t h e r s ?

                6.        Do I demand m o r e f r o m o t h e r s t h a n t h e y
                     a r e able t o gjve?
    I
                7. .     Have I t h e h a b i t o f studying o t h e r p a p
                    l e s t tempermcnts s o a s t o l i v e in a s clos;
   i
      harmony a s p o s s i b l e w i t h t h e m ?

8.          Do I a l l o w m y s e l f t o b e g u i d e d by my
      f i r s t impression of people o r things?
                                                                               -   ,


9.         Can I e a s i l y e x c u s e t h e s m a l l a n n o y a n -
      c e s w h i c h o t h e r s c a u s e me, o r d o I b i c k e r
      u n r e s t r a i n e d l y o v e r t h e .most i n s i g n i f i c a n t
      things?

10.        Does my w i s h t o show u p my b r o t h e r s                  in
      a gdod l i g h t b r i n g me t o c b n d o n , e ' t h e i r       --
      f a u l t s ? ,Dp . I , . s t r i v @ t o b e b n e v o l e n t towaxids
      them?

11.       Do I t r y t o f i n d t h e r e a s o n s why o t h e r s
      d o n o t u n d e r s t a n d o r go a l o n g w i t h me ?

12.         Do I t r y t o g i v e o t h e r s t h e i m p r e s s i o n
      that I respect their dignity,                     appreciate
      t h e i r p o i n t s o f v i e w and s i n c e r e l y wish
      t h e m ' w e l l ? I s t h i s a p u r e l y human m a n o e v r e ,
      o r d o c s i t have a t r u e s p i r i t o f C h r i s t i a n
      and Legionary c h a r i t y ?

13.      Does t h e e l e v a t e d e x a m p l e o f J e s u s , who
      w a s meek a n d humble o f h e a r t ,        h e l p me t o
      practice t h i s ,beautiful virtue?
                                                  77. FAINT- IfEARTEDNESS
                                                        AND INFERIORITY COMPLEX



               1.         Do 1 o f t e n s a y t h a t I am g o o d f o r n o t h
                    i n g ? Dc I r e a l l y b e l i e v e t h i s , o r d o I j u s F
                    s a y i t t o a v o i d m a k i n g f u r t h e r effort? Do
                    I s a y it o u t of v a n i t y , s o t h a t ' o t h e r s w i l l
                    t e l l m e t h a t it is n o t t r u e ?

    I          2.
                          Do I g e t d i s h e a r t e n e d when I s e e I c a n
                    n o t d o t h i n g s a s w e l l a s others c a n ? ~ o e s
                    t h i s h u m i l i a t e me?
    F1         3.         Do I t h i n k
                    Does i t n e v e r
                                             my l i f e i s o n e l o n g f a i l u r e ?
                                             s t r i k e me t o s e e k o u t t h e
                    root cause         --    p e r h a p s l a c k of p r e p a r a t i o n ,
                    carelessness,            etc. e t c . , i n s t e a d o f htaning
                    e v e r y t h i n g on                               l
                                             my own p c ~ > s o n a make-up?      -

    1,     -   4.         Do I r e a l i s e t h a t a l i t h i s c o u l d b e a
                    s e r i o u s t e m p t a t i o n t o ma'ke m e ' l e a v e my
                    v o c a t i o n o r t o p r e v e n t my a p o s t o l a t e f r o m
    I'              having any r e s u l t s ?

               5.         Am I i n c l i n e d by n a t u r e t o be p e s s i m i -
                                                                                   s
                    t i c , s a d and melancholic?

I              6,       If I f i n d t h a t I h a v e n o             aptitude for
I .   I.                                      -   297   -
            a p a r t i c u l a r -;ask, d o e s i t d i s c o u r a g e m e
            s o much t h a t L come t o t h i n k I a m g o o d f o r
            nothing?

      7.          Does i t happen t h a t , i f I f a i l , I r e m a i n
                                                                                           % .

            d i s c o u r a g e d for 2 l o n g t i m e ?    Do I n e v e r
            t h i n k t h a t e v e r y o n e c a n a n d d o e s f a i l now
            and t h c n ?

      8.       Is it       t r u e t h a t a l l t h e s e p ~ o b l e r c sa r e     ..
            due t o a      g r e a t * l a c k o f t r u s t i n God? Do          I
            not t r y t    o f i n d h a p p i n e s s i n t h e c o u r s e He
            has laid       down f o r my l i f e ?

      9.           I f I r e a l l y b e l i e v e t h a t I am      good f o r
             n o t h i n g , d o e s i t e v e r s t r i k e me t h a t t h i s
             a t t i t u d e shows a l i t t l e u n g r a t e f u l n e s s t o             1
             w a r d s my s u p e r i o r s ,    who h a v e      been     kips              I
. .        . enough,not only t o a c c e p t m e              i n t o t h e Leg            , I

             i o n , b u t a l s o t o a l l o w m e go ahead?

                                                                                           :1
                                                    78. MEEKNESS




1.         Is J e s u s C h r i s t ,who . s a i d : " L e a r n f r o m me,
     f o r I a m g e n t l e and humble o f h e a r t " ,               my
     s u p r e m e e x a m p l e i n a l l my d e a l i n g s w i t h my
     fellow-men?
2.      Have I o f t e n l i v e d a n d a c t e d       i n a wdy
                                  y
     which c o n t r a d i c t s m m i s s i o n t o be a d i s p n
                                                                  -
     ser and m i n i s t e r o f D i v i n e C h a r i t y ?
3.         Can I p a t i e n t l y      u t up w i t h t h e both(!r
     a n d a n n o y a n c e c a u s e 5 m e b y o t h e r s ? D o 1 res-
     e n t t h e s l i g h t e s t a t t e m p t t o make' me t h e -
     o b j e c t o f a j o k e ? Do I n e v e r f i n d e x c u s e : ;
     f o r t h e t i m e s my b . r o t h e r s o f f e n d me w i t -  h
     0u.t m e a n i n g t o ?
4.          Have I a l w a y s t r i e d t o b e u n d e r s t a n d i n g
     a s r e g a r d s o t h e r p e o p l e s 1 c h a r a c t e r s and
     a t t i t u d e s ? I n t r y i n g t o betolerant l i k e t h i s
     h a v e I e v e r come t o b e s o f t g o o d - n a t u r e d " a s
     t o o v e r l o o k r e a l f a u l t s i n my b r o t h e r s ---
     w h i c h I was b o u n d t o c o r r e c t ?

5.        Am I s o i r r i t a b l e t h a t I e a s i l y g e t a n g
     r y , e s p e c i a l l y when I a m a l r e a d y a n n o y e d
     o r i n bad humour?
                                     79. APOSTOLATE PRACTICE




1.         Is t h e r u l e " a c t i o n s , n o t w o r d s " a p r . i n
     c i p l e o f my l i f e , o r i s t h e r e a m a r k e d c o -
     t r a s t b e t w e e n t h e a b u n d a n c e o f my w o r d s
     a n d t h e s c a r c i t y o f my d e e d s ?
                                                                          n
                                                                            -                 ,

2.         Am I c o n t e n t w i t h t h e p o s i t i o n w h i c h           -   '

     G o d ' s w i l l h a s a s s i g n e d t o me, o r d o e s             it
     s e e m t o o i n s i g n i f i c a n t , d ~ ~ lol r m o n o t o n o u s
     t o me?
                                                                                              ?
                                                                                              L

3.      Have I y e t t a k e n r e s p o n s i b i l i t y          for my
     duties a s .teacher o r prefect?                                                         I


4.        Am I aware o f t h e 'tremendous i n f l u e n c e
     which m y words and a t t i t u d e s can have                on
     t h 8 s o u l s o f t h o s e e n t r u s t e d t o my c a r e ?
     hm I a l s o a w a r e t h a t I am h e l p i n g t o        fort
     i f y t h e M y s t i c a l Body o f C h r i s t with r e a l l y
     authentic Christians?

5.         On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I d e r i v e n o i n c e n
     t i v e f r o m f o r m i n g C h r i s t ' s image i n      the-                  . ,
     s o u l s o f c h i l d r e n , o r f r o m m o u l d i n g men         -          .-I

     who w i l l be s u i t e d t o l i f e ' s c h a l l e n g e    ?
        6.             Can I s a y t h a t I l o v e a l l t h o s e I- m u s t
                 t a k e c a r e o f , u n i t i n g t h e m i n my l o v e f o r
                 C h r i s t ? Do I t r y t o f o r n c l i q u e s , o r d o I
                 r e f e r them t o t h e F a t h e r S u p e r i o r ,  never
                 d e a l i n g w i t h t h e m m y s e l f ? Have I e v e r --
                 t r i e d t o . p r e v e n t t h e m from g o i n g t o t h e
                 superior?

        7.             Have I r e a d y - m a d e p r e j u d i c e s   against
                 a n y o n e ? Do t h k o t h e r s n o t i c e t h i s ?

        8.             Can I s a y t h a t I a m p o p u l a r ,    o r do I
                r e p e . 1 p e o p l e by t h e m i s u s e o f my a u t h o r -
                ity?

        9   .         D o e s my w o r k c o n s i s t s o l e l y o f    coldly
                demanding d i s c i p l i n e : do I g i v c g e o p a p h y .
                o r L a t i n c l a s s e s w i t h o u t w a r m t h o r human
                i n t e r e s t ? On t h e o t h e r h a n d , d o I make a n
                e f f o r t t o g e t t h e fundamental s p i r i t o f
                t h e Legion a c r o s s ?

        10.             Have I t r u e z e a l for i n c r e a s i n g t h e      -
                ' l o v e o f God i n t h o s e e n t r u s t e d t o my c a r e ?
                  Do I d o t h i s i n a p u r e l y t h e o r e t i c a l w a y ,
                  o r do I t r y t o g i v e them a s o l i d s p i r i t u a l .
                  f o r m a t i o n , g e t t i n g them t o g o t o t h e    Sac
                 r a m e n t s end m a k i n g t h e m a w a r e t h a t t h e y -    ,

                 must s a v e s o u l s ?

        11.      Have I t a k e n p e r s o n a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y
           f o r t h e running o f t h e C e n t r e i n which                  I
I'
i
 ;
    1      l i v e , o r d o I l e a v e a l l t h i s f o r my m a j o r
           s u p e r i o r s , t a k i n g no p e r s a n a l i n t e r e s t i n
           any p r o b l e m ?
                                                                                           ,-.-s


    12.        Do I t r y t o form a g r e a t d e s i r e       for
2
          improvement and h e a l t h y c o m p e t i t i o n     in
          t h e s o u l s o f t h e s t u d e n t s u n d e r my care?
                                                                                               I
    13.      Before a l l , do I t r y t o g i v e them                   sup      ,
                                                                                           IJ
          ernatural principles?

    14.         Have I y e t o f f e r e d a l l my w o r k e x p l i c -
          i t l y a n d c o n s c i o u s l y t o God? Do I                renew
          t h i s s u p e r n a t u r a l i n t e n t i o n u f t e n , o r do I
          get s o involved i n e x t e r n a l marters                      that
          I f o r g e t t o t h i n k o f God? A t b e s t ,               do I
          r e c o l l e c t n y s c l f a u t o m a t i c a l l y i n t h e m o-
                                                                               r
          n i n g , o r do I form t h e h a b i t o f f i l l i n g -
          m y d a y with ~ j a c u l a t i o n s , k e e p i n g           union
          w i t h God i n s u c h a way t h a t my s o u l r e -
          mains f e r v e n t ?                                                            1
                                                                                           -



                                                                                           t
                                                                                           t
                                                                                               I'
    15.         D o I b a l a n c e my g r e a t e r e x t e r n a l l i b e r
          t y b y a m o r e d e l i c a t e o b s e r v a n c e of       the               r',
          H o l y R u l e , o r d o I s a t i s f y my w h i m s w i t -     h         i'
          o u t g i v i n g d u e i m p o r t a n c e t o my o b l i g a t -
          i o n s a s a r e l i g i o u s and a Legionary w h o i s
          not y e t ordained?

    16.         Have I come t o b e l i e v e t h a t m o r t i f b c a a
          i o n , h u m i l i t y a n d t h e r u l e s o f self-den%d-
          and s o c i a l behaviour havc n o t h i n g            t o do                       2
          w i t h m e , now t h a t I am a t a p o s t o l a t e p r a -c
          tice?                                                                        r;
                                                                                       b
                                                                                       "       .
    17.        Do I p u t s p e c i a l e m p h a s i s o n t h e v i r t -
          u e o f p r u d e n c e ? Have I e v e r g o n e b e y o n d
          t h e l i n i t s o f my o f f i c e ? H a v e I e v e r w o r k -           ;?
          e d o n my own a u t h o r i t y , t r a n s a c t i n g impof               ~ . 2
          t a n t b u s i n e s s which c o u l d -have i n v o l v e d      -
                                -   302   -                                            1
                                                                                       .       !
                                y
                     b o t h m immediate s u p e r i o r s and t h e
                w h o l e L e g i o n ? Do I. t r y t o b e v e r y c a r e f u l
      . .       a b o u t e v e r y s i n g l e w o r d I u t t e r ? Have      I
            ,   e v e r had t o r e g r e t what I s a i d b e c a u s e o f
                h a v i n g r e v e a l e d t o o much? A m I r e c k l e s s i n
                t h a t I b l i n d l y p u t my t r u s t i n e v e r y o n e ?

     18.             Do I a n t i c i p a t e s i t u a t i o n s w h i c h c o u l d
                e n d a n g e r my c h a s t i t y o r my i n t e g r i t y a s a
                religious?

     19.              Being i n such c l o s e c o n t a c t with t h e
                w o r l d , d o I e v e r - # t h a n k God f o r s a v i n g m e
                f r o m s u c h a h u g e mass o f m o r a l d a n g e r s ,
                f r o m s p i r i t u a l a n d e v e n m a t e r i a l d a s t i t u-
                                                                                     t
                ion?

     20.              What a t t i t u d e d o I t a k e t o w a r d s t h e      -
                w o r l d ? Do I s e c r e t e l y a g r e e w i t h i t s i n t -
                e r e s t s a n d v a l u e s ? Have I a h i d d e n d e s i r e
                t o b e p a r t o f i t ? On t h e c o n t r a r y , h a v e I
                an a b s o l u t e and d e c i s i v e r e v u l s i o n towaras
                i t , a t t h e same t i m e h a v i n g a b u r n i n g d e
                s i r e t o c o n v e r t i t t o C h r i s t ? Am I really
                s o r r y f o r t h e w o r l d when I s e e t h e m o r a l
                and p h y s i c a l m i s e r y which p r e v a i l s ?

     21.             Am I s p e c i a l l y c a r e f u l a b o u t keepi'ng
                t h e r u i e s of.poverty, o f obedience,and of
                dependence on s u p e r i o r s ?

     22.              D o e s t h e k n o w l e d g e t h a t I am d o i n g t h e
                w i l l o f God f i l l my l i f e w i t h h e a l t h y 02
-,              t i m i s m a n d j o y , o r d o my c o n c e r n s a n d a s s
                i g n m e n t s make b o t h my l i f e a n d t h e        live?
                                              e
                o f t h o s e a r o u n d m b i t t e r a n d c h e e r l e s s '?
 i
23.       .Do I o f t e n happen t o l e a v e t h e p r a y e r s
      I m u s t s a y f o r l a t e r o n ? Have I e v e r g i v
      e n o t h e r a c t i v i t i e s p r i o r i t y o v e r prayeF,
      t h e r o s a r y , s p i r i t u a l r e a d i n g e t c . ?Have
      I e v e r l e f t them o u t a l t o g e t h e r ?

24.          Do I k e e p a v e r y c l o s e w a t c h o v e r my
      s e n s e o f t o u c h ? Do I t o u c h c h i l d r e n or
      a l l o w t h e m t o touch me? Do I realise t h a t
      l a x i t y on t h i s p o i n t c o u l d become a        --
      t h r e a t t o my p u r i t y ?
    I        1.      Do I s e z f o r e s i g h t a s a v e r y i m p o r t a n t
                  aspect of' the v i r t u e of prudence?

             2.        Do I u s u a l l y f o r e s e e w h a t I h a v e t o do,
                  o r do I l e a v e everything t o t h e i n s p i r a t -
                  i o n and i n c l i n a t i o n I g e t on t h e s p u r o f
                  t h e moment?

             3.      I s lack of f o r e s i g h t o f t e n t h e r e a s o n
'. ,
I
    .-

    --
       1          why many t h i n g s t u r n o u t b a d l y f o r m e ?

             4.      Do I f o r e s e e t h e p o s s i b l e c o n s e q u e n c e s
                  of t h e t a s k s I undertake,and t h e p o s s i b l e
         I        reactions of others t o the stand retake
                  on a c e r t a i n p o i n t ?

             5.         Have I t h e h a b i t o f a s k i n g t h e s u p e r i o r
                  b e f o r e h a n d how h e wants m e t o d o t h e           --
                  t h i n g s h e asks o f me? When I a m ordered t o
                  d o s o m e t h i n g , d o I f o r e s e e my n e e d s , o r d o
                  I p e s t e r t h e s u p e r i o r every second minute
                  t o g e t what I need?

       i     6.      Have I t h e h a b i t o f w r i t i n g down e v e r
                  thing I h a v e t o d o in a s m a l l n o t e b o o k           f
                                  81.   USE !OF TIME




1.      Do I use my time in a responsible way?
2.      Do 1,deliberately waste it? Is this be
     cause of laziness or lack of self-denial7

3.      Am I always disorganised : does it h a g .
     pen that I lose a lot of time looking for
     things, formulating plans, etc. ?

4.      Do I consistently do what I decide on,
     or am I always undecided?
5.      Have I enough foresight to plan out        -
     what I am going to do at the start of             -
     each new day? Do, I thinlc of what I have to
     do in the free times?

6       Do I pass the time in useless occupat-
     ions? Am I irresponsible when it comes to
                                             --
     duty, doing what I shouldn't do or not do
     ing what I should?
7.      ~d I wear myself out during work too-
     such an extent that I have to rest in t h ~
     time allotted to other things?

                    -   307   -
8.         Do I u s e t h e t i m e m o s t c a r e f u l l y d u r i n g
      t h e most i m p o r t a n t i t e m s o f t h e d a i l y p r o  -
      gramme, e . g . p r a y e r ?

9.          Do I m e d i t a t e on t h e p o s s i b l e s i . g n i f i
      c a n c e o f t h e l i f e I am l i v i n g a t p r e s e n t -
      i n t h e l i g h t o f t h e world t o come,and t h e
      g r a v e s i g n i f i c a n c e it h a s f o r s o u l s and
      t h e f u t u r e o f t h e Legion?

10,        Have I g r a s p e d t h e f a c t t h a t , f o r        a  -
      Legionary, waste o f t i m e is a formal f a u l t
      a g a i n s t p o v e r t y ? Do I a c t a c c o r d i n g l y ? ' .

11.         Do I t r y t o h a v e p u r i t y o f       intention,
      i n e v e r y t h i n g I d o , t o make my u s e o f time
      more v a l u a b l e i n G o d ' s e y e s and more b e n e       -
      f i c i a l . t o t h e s o u l s u n d e r my c a r e ?

12.         Have I a p r o p e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f       the
      p r i n c i p l e t h a t t h e good u s e o f t i m e         must
      t a k e p r i o r i t y o v e r a l l o t h e r m a t e r i a l asp
      i r a tions?
I



    I
                                        82.   DI:~SJRIC 7%) BE   DIFFEKENT




    I            Do I o f t e n d o t h i n g s i n a d i f f e r e n t w a y
        1. f r o m e v e r y o n e e l s e a r o u n d me?

        2.         Have I r e a l i s e d t h e i m p o r t a n c e g i v e n t o
             u n i t y o f mind a n d w i l l i n t h e L e g i o n ?

        3.          Have I e v e r b e e n a d i s u n i t i n g i n f l u e i c e
             i n t h e community, sowing t h e s e e d s o f
             f l i c t and d i s c o r d ? Did t h i s come a b o u t u c -
                                                                             con-
             i n t e n t i o n a l l y because I wanted t o s p e a k t o o
             much, o r d i d I d o i t o u t o f m a l i c e ?           Did I
             u s e it a s a m e a n s o f g i v i n g f r e e r e i n t o
             t h e s t a t e s o f i n n e r c o n f u s i o n I was passing
             t h r o u g h ? Was t h i s a t t i t u d e c a u s e d ,by my
             wish t o c o n t e s t e v e r y t h i n g w i t h o u t knowinq    -
             t h e f a c t s , o r , more s i n p l y ,       b y my l a c k o f
             humility?

        4.         Am I c o n v i n c e d t h a t I m u s t f o s t e r h a r -      ,

             mony w i t h i n t h e L e g i o n i n e v e r y      possible
             way? Have I r e a l i s e d w h a t a g r e a t c o n t r a -
             d i c t i o n i t i s i f my c o n d u c t     goes against
             t h e s p i r i t o f s o l i d a r i t y which s h o u l d t y p
             i f y every Legionary?
5.          Do I s h a r e t h e s a m e s e n t i m e n t s a s my                  "    -1
      b r o t h e r s ? Do o u r ways o f t h i n k i n g a n d work                       I
                                                                                            ,
      i p g , o u r c r i t e r i a a n d o u r norms o f conluct;
      c o i n c i d e ? Do we j u d g e t h i n g s a n d e v e n t s                r-

      i n t h e same way?                                                        .   B
6.          On t h e c o n t r a r y , d o my opinions tend to
      d i f f e r a l o t from t h o s e o f o t h e r s ?        Do I
      g e t re-a1 plea-sure from e x p r e s s i n g views
      which a r e o p p o s e d t o t h e o n e s o t h e r s hold?
      Why i s t h i s    --      because          I  Like annoying
      o t h e r s , b e c a u s e I am c o n v i n c e d i a m r i g h t ,
      o r b e c a u s e i n t h i s way I e m p h a s i s e m y own
      personality,                                                     -
                                w h i c h g i v e s me g r e a t s a t i s
      f a c tion?

7.          Have I e v e r h a d t h e n e r v e t o p u t          for
      w a r d my own o p i n i o n s i n o p p o s i t i o n to t h e                f,
      o p i n i o n s o f p e o p l e i n a u t h o r i t y ? Has t h i s                 i
      h a p p e n e d w i t h my s u p e r i o r s ?

8.          Has i t e v e r o c c u r e d t o m e t h a t g o i n g      -
                                                                                     r' $
                                                                                     I
                                                                                     L.
                                                                                          1
      against the general opinion                     of   others
      c o u l d b e a m i s t a k e o n my p a r t ?     Do I e v e n
,     r e j e c t t h e o p i n i o n s o f t h o s e who s p e a k
      from p e r s o n a l e x p e r i e n c e ?

9.          Am I always c r i t i c i s i n g e v e r y t h i n g and
      e v e r y b o d y ? I s t h i s becaus'e I f i n d i t       is
      t h e o n l y way I c a n w i n a t t e n t i o n ?

            Have I e v e r made t h e e f f o r t t o see           --               r;
10.                                                                                  li
      t h i n g s from t h e o t h e r p e o p l e s ' point          of     ,
      view?
                                                                                     IJ
11.        Do I b e l i e v e t h a t b e i n g on p e a c e f u l and           .
      a n d h a r m o n i o u s t e r m s w i t h my b r o t h e r s is;
      more i m p o r t a n t t h a n t r y i n g t o sway t h e i l l
      o p i n i o n o n some t r i v i a l point?Am I b l i n d
      e d t o t h i s l i n e o f r e a s o n i n g by a n g e r o r
      s t r o n g f e e l i n g ? Do I d e s i r e a n d p r a y f o r
      t h e g r a c e o f always being i n agreement
      with everyone e l s e ?

12.         Do I m e d i t a t e e n o u g h on t h e e x a m p l e
      C h r i s t l e f t us of l i v i n g i n t h e okscurity
      o f ~ a z a h e t hf o r t h i r t y y e a r s a s a p o o r
      man among p o o r a n d humble p e o p l e , w i t h o u t
      doing anything out of the ordinary a l -
      t h o u g h H e c o u l d .do a l l t h i n g s ?
                      Things vague and i m p r a c t i c a l ?
,    I          5.          Would I F a t h e r d i e t h a n commit a s i n ?
                      Do I c a r e f u l l y a v o i d d e l i b e r a t e v e n i a l s i n ?
     -1     ,
                      Have I a s e n s i t i v e c o n s c i e n c e ?     Do I per
                      f o r m my e x e r c i s e s o f p i e t y w i t h a l o t o f -
                      care?
    a
    - -1
                6.          Do I k e e p s t r i c t c o n t r o l o f my f e e l -
                      i n g s ? Do I d i s m i s s d a n g e r o u s d a y - d r e a m s   -
                .,.. ,,.andm e m o r i e s f r o m my i m a g i n a t i o n ?
                          ..  '


                          .    .  '


           -. . 7 .
             -          . Does t h e f e a r ' q f God n o t         only ppevent
                      m e from o f f e n d i n g Him,.but a l s o encourage
                      me t o p l e a s e H i m i n e v e r y t h i n g  I do ?
                                          84. TIME     OF CRISIS


1.         90 I o f t e n f e e l s a d a n d gloomy,
     n e i t h e r t h e w i l l nor t h e energy t o do any
                                                              with

     t h i n g ? Am I o f t e n w o r r i e d and d i s t r e s s e d ,
                                                                                  P
     l a c k i n g t h e s t r e n g t h t o d o good?

2.         Do I s e e t h e s e d i f f i c u l x t i m e s as some
     t h i n g normal i n everyone 's life?Do I t h a n r
     God f o r g i v i n g me t h e c h a n c e o f s u f f e r i n g             i
                                                                              .        ;
     something f o r H i s s a k e , t h u s making up f o r
     m p a s t s i n s a n d g a i n i n g some m e r i t ?
       y                                                                          r




3.         Does t h i s     supernatural outlook always                   I       :
     h e l p m e t o p u t up w i t h t r i a l s a n d t e m p t a t
     i o n s , o r d o e s t r o u b l e p l u n g e me i n t o d e s
     p a i r ? Do I t h i n k t h i s i s a p u n i s h m e n t &OK
     G o d , ' t h a i He h a s a b a n d o n e d a n d r e j e c t e d
     m e , o r , on t h e c o n t r a r y , d o I r e a l i s e t h a t
     H i s love is never closer t o m                 e than a t
     t h e s e moments?

4,        Do I t h i n k t h a t t h e c r o s s I h a v e   to      -            'f
     c,,rry i s heavier t h a n anyone e l s e ' s ,          and                      j
     t h a t I d o n o t d e s e r v e t o s u f f e r s o much ?

5.       Do I a s k God f o r t h e g r a c e t o b e           very
                  s t r o n g ? Do I k e e p on c a l m l y d o i n g my d u t y
                  a l t h o u g h I f e e l l i k e g i v i n g up?Do 1 ' o f f e r
                    y
                  m s u f f e r i n g s and . t r i a l s a l o n g withOn?istls
                  f o r t h e s a k e of t h e Church,the Legion and
                  the salvation of souls?

             6.         Do I a v a i l o f t h e s e d a r k moments             to   -
                  l e a r n t o have a ' f e l l o w - f e e l i n g ' f o r p e o e
                  l e who p e r h a p s s u f f e r a l o t more t h a n               I
                  do ? Do I t r y t o k e e p c a l m a n d n o t l o s e
: I               c o n t r o l o f m y s e l f ? Do t h e s e o c c a s i o n s h e l p
I   71            me t o be h u m b l e , s i n c e t h e y b r i n g h o m e t h e
                  f a c t o f how l i t t l e I c a n d o on my own ?

             7        Do I a l l o w my f e e l i n g s and i m a g i n a t i o n
                  t o p l a y on t h e p r o b l e m a n d i n c r e a s e i t o ~ t
     I            of a l l proportion?
i ' II   -
             8.      Do I t u r n t o human c o m p a n i o n s h i p           to   -
                                        y
                  find r e l i e f i n m suffering?

)    I       9          What i s t h e u s u a l r e a s o n f o r my t r i a l s
                  a n d t r i b u l a t i o n s ? C o u l d I s a y . t h a t many
                  h a v e t h e i r b e g i n n i n g s ' i n my n e g a t i v e a t-
                                                                                    t
                  i t u d e t o w a r d s work o r s e l f - d e n i a l ?
                                                       85. INTEGRATION




1.            Can I s a y t h a t I h a v e a p r e c i s e i d e a of
        t h e meaning o f i n t e g r a t i o n i i n t h e l i g h t o f
        the doctrine s e t forth i n the Letter                       of
        U n i t y and i n C h a p t e r n i n e of t h e C o n s t i t -
        u t i o n s ? Do I r e a l i s e i t s u r g e n t n e c e s s i t y
        b o t h i n t h e l i f e o f t h e L e g i o n a n d i n my
        own?

:!   . s a t Whate d omse rienl ye g or a lt ii o ne
             isfi
                   d e          t
                                   t            v
                                                   mean t o me? Am I
                                                   i n t h e Legion    -
        w i t h o u t b e i n g t o o much o u t o f t u n e ? D o        I
        a c c e p t t h e L e g i o n ' s s p i r i t "en b l o c " w i t h
        out any f u r t h e r concern, o r h a v l I a b r o a T
        e r v i s i o n o f integration, e q u a t i n g it            to
        l i v i n g and l o v i n g o u r s p i r i t i n a l l     cir-
        cumstances, and t h u s becoming h o l y ?

3.           Am I c o n v i n c e d t h a t i n t e g r a t i o n i s t h e
       law w h i c h moulds t h e b o d i l y l i f e of t h e             -
       L e g i o n , w i t h o u t w h i c h i t w o u l d fall v i c t i m
       t o a n a r c h y , e g o i s m a n d my own p e r s o n a l
       s e l f i s h n e s s ? Do I s e e t h a t w i t h o u t it t h e
       Legion w i l l f a i l t o c a r r y o u t t h e a p o s t c l i c
       m i s s i o n w h i c h God h a s g i v e n h e r ?
                   4.                   Do I r e a l l y b e l i e v e t h a t i n t e g r a t i o n i s
                                 a " v i t a 1 demand made b y n y L e g i o n a r y v o c a t -
                               ' i ' o n , t h e o n l y way I c a n d o G o d ' s u i l l ?         Do
                                 I c o n s i d e r i t a s t h e o n l y way         of g r a f t i n g
                       "         l i k e a "living stone"              onto t h e        Legionary
                           '     body?

                   5.                Do I p r a y f o r t h e g r a c e o f i n t e g r a t i o n ,
                       .       k ? o w i n g t h a t i t c o m e s not: f r o m a n y    human
                               r e a s o n i n g b u t frorn t h e p u r e l o v e o f C h p i s t
                               a n d H i s Kingdom?

                   6.                A m I y e t c o m p l e t e l y i n t e g r a t e d into t h e
             . .               L e g i o n ? Are e v e n t h e d e e p e s t , m o s t d e c i s i v e
                               e l e m e n t s o f my p e r s o n a l i t y i n c l u d e d i n   --
                               t h i s i n t e g r a t i o n ? Are my m i n d a n d s o u l a t
                               tuned t o t h e Legion's S p i r i t and ~ ~ s t i ~ u e 7
    !.                         ( A s f a r a s I am c o n c e r n e d , d o e s t h i s a m o u n t
                               t o b e i n g f i l l e d by t h e h o l i n e s s p r o p e r      to
                               i t a n d d r a w n on b y t h e i d e a l o f t h i s h o l-         i
                               n e s s i n my d a y - t o - d a y l i f e ? )

                   7.              Do I s e e t h e n e e d f o r i n t e g r a t i n g my             -
    --   I                   c r i t e r i a i f I am t o g r a s p t h e L e g i o n ' s c r i
                             t e r i a a n d make t h e m ' my own?Am I a w a r e t h a t
                             t h e most dangerous enemies o f i n t e g r a t i o n
                             a r e self-importance ( mental                        profligacy :
                             g r e g a r i a n i s m , and i n f a n t i l e development of
                             c r i t e r i a ( which amounts t o h a v i n g no c r i t
                           ' e r i a a t a l l ) ? Can I a p p r e c i a t e t h e g r a v T
    0.                       n e e d f o r i n t e g r a t i o n when c o n f r o n t e d b y t h e
                             h o s t i l e a t m o s p h e r e w h i c h s u r r o u n d s me?


j
1
         I         8
                                y
                                  Do I r e a l i s e t h a t f a i l u r e     t o renounc.?
                               m own o p i n i o n s a n d p r e f e r e n c e s m e a n s r e -
                               renouncing t h e c r i t e r i a o f t h e Legion?                   Am
         1
                                                                           .    ..
       convinced t h a t d o c i l i t y i n t h i s f i e l d is
       a way o f b u i l d i n g u p my a u t h e n t i c C h r i s t
       ian personality,                                        y
                                      i l l u m i n a t i n g m spiri<
       s t r e n g t h e n i n g my w i l l , p u r i f y i n g a n d r -
                                                                        e
       f i n i n g my h e a r t a n d o b t a i n i n g r e s u l t s     -
       t h r o u g h my e x a m p l e ?      Do I b e l i e v e that m~
       human v a l u e s a r e e n r i c h e d b y           continuous
       c o n t a c t w i t h God's w i l l ?

9 -,         W h a t i s my a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s t h o s e a s
       p e c t s w h i c h b e l o n g most exclusively t o t h e
       L e g i o n a r y s p i r i t ? Do I t h i n k o f t h e m a s
       wise and p r u d e n t n o r m s , e f f e c t i v e b o t h a s
       means t o h o l i n e s s a n d a s a i d s f o r t h e a p
       o s t o l a t e ? What d o I d o when I c o m e o n s o m e
       thing I find d i f f i c u l t t o accept?                Do I
       f o ~ g e ta b o u t i t a n d c a r r y o n ? A m       I crit
   .   i c a l and s c e p t i c a l a b o u t itl?Do I h o l d o n
       t o my own c r i t e r i n ? Do I g i v e i n becaus?
       I h a v e n o o p t i o n ? Do I d o s o u n w i l l i n g l y ?
       Can I o p e n my h e a r t o t my s u p e r i o r           and
       d i s c u s s t h e m a t t e r s i n c e r e l y and s i m p l y ,
       s e e k i n g t o a c c e p t t h e s o l u t i o n he o f f e r s
       m e a n d t o w e l c o m e i t a s my own?

             Do I t r y t o g e t a d e t a i l e d k n o w l e d g e
       o f t h e s p i r i t o f t h e Legion?Do I r e s p e c t ,
       v e n e r a t e a n d p r a c t i c e a l l t h e Ho1.y R u l e s
       with the greatest possible precision? A s
       r e g a r d s my s p i r i t u a l f o r m a t i o n , d o I n o u r
       i s h i t systematically w i t h - t h e ~ e ~ i o n g
       s p i r i t and d o c t r i n e , o r do I l e a v e         them
       a s i d e t o d r . 1 ~ rom o t h e r s o u r c e s ?
                               f

11.          What p r t . V e i l t r ; me f r o m i n t e g r a t i n g my
       c r i t e r i a -- s t ~ a l l o w n e s s o f m i n d , v a n i t y ,
              c o n c e i t or' p r i d e , o r a c r a z e f o r n o v e l t y ?
              Am I h i n d e r e d b y c r i t e r i a w h i c h I h a d      in
              t h e p a s t and have n e v e r renounced?

                    A r e my e m o t i o n s a l s o a t o n e w i t h         the
              Legion, s o t h a t l o v e f o r t h e Legion and
              t h e Kingdom i s t h e i r f o c a l p o i n t ? A r e t h e y
              c e n t e r e d on s o m e t h i n g m e r e l y r o m a n t i c a n d
              s e n t i m e n t a l ? Does my 1ov.e s p r i n g f r o m my
              f a i t h i n t h e L e g i o n a n d my b e l i e f           in the
              m i s s i o n I have w i t h i n h e r framework?

                    Have I i n t e g r a t e d my a f f e c t i o n s , l o v e s ,
              p r e f e r e n c e s , t a s t e s e t c . , b e i n g aware o f
              t h e f a c t t h a t m h e a r t i s i n c l i n e d to h o l d
                                          y
              o n t o t h e m ? Are t h e y a s o u r c e o f         friction
              a n d a n n o y a n c e i n my l i f e ? Do I k e e p my s -        u
              p e r i o r s i n f o r m e d o f my p r o g r e s s ?

        14.         How d o I i n t e r p r e t t h e r u l e s a b o u t d e a-- l
              i n g w i t h f a m i l y , f r i e n d s and o u t s i d e r s ?
              How d o I a p p l y t h e m ? Do' t h e y              seem t o o
              d e m a n d i n g ? Have I l e a r n e d t o l o v e m    y fa:i
              i l y i n a m o d e r a t e way,                                   .
                                                       a s b e f i t s a r e l i - -j
          '   i o u s ? Do I a c c e p t a n y s a c r i f i c e s w h i c h --
              t h i s i n v o l v e s ? Am I c o n v i n c e d t h a t     the
              b e s t way t o l o v e m f a m i l y i s t o
                                            y                           leave
              them and f o l l o w C h r i s t ?            .

        15.         I n d e a l i n g w i t h f r i e n d s and s t r a n g e r s ,
              i s i t m s o l e a i m t o i m p l a n t God i n t h e i ~ >
                          y
              s o u l s ? Do I t e l l them a b o u t t h e L e g i o n s o
.   T         t h a t t h e y c a n l o v e and s u p p o r t i t , o r do I
    I

    ,         r a t h e r t r y t o win t h e i r esteem for m y s e l f ?
        16.       Are n a t i o n a l i t i e s a b a r r i e r a s      far as
   I
-- ,                                 -   319   -
       I am c o n c e r n e d ? Have I p r e j u d i c e s a n d p r e      -
       ferences i n m everyday r e l a t i o n s h i p s
                            y                                               -
       w i t h my b r o t h e r s ? Can I say t h a t my h e a r t
       i s b i g e n o u g h t o welcome e v e r y o n e       with
       o p e n a r m s ? Can I c l a i m t o h a v e b e c o m e            -
       a l l t h i n g s t o a l l men?Can I a d a p t m y s e l f
       t o o t h e r s with respect,        s i m p l i c i t y and
       naturality?

17.           What i m p o r t a n c e d o I g i v e t o t h e i n t e
        g r a t i o n o f my p e r s o n a l l i k e s a n d d i s -
      l i k e s ? What t a r g e t h a v e I s e t ? H a v e I
        i n t e g r a t e d my t a s t e i n m u s i c ,    art       and.
        s t u d y ? How d o I i n t e r p r e t a n d a p p l y t h e
        norms r e g a r d i n g t h e use o f t h e comrnunicat
        i o n s m e d i a ( p r e s s , f i l m s , T . V . e t c . ) ? D;
        I g i v e t h e i r r e a l v a l u e t o t h e rubs gov-
        e r n i n g mutual s o c i a l behaviour              o r do
        t h e y seem somewhat a r t i f i c i a l ? Do I f e e l
        a h e a l t h y p r i d e on b e i n g t a k e n for a L e g
        i o n a r y , o r do I f e e l ashamed and e m b a r g
        assed?

18.          Does c h a r i t y c l p s e l y u n i t e me w i t h m       y
       s u p e r i o r s a n d b r o t h e r s ? Do I a l w a y s d e a l
       w i t h them i n a manly, a g r e e a b l e w a y , o r a m
       I a l w a y s c o l d t o w a r d s t h e m ? Do I e x c l u d e
       a n y o n e o f them f r o m my f r i e n d s h i p             be-
       c a u s e I happen t o f i n d him u n l i k e a b l e              ?
       Do I t r y t o b e on s p e c i a l l y i n t i m a t e          -
       terms with a p a r t i c u l a r brother? D o I co
       o p e r a t e and j o i n f o r c e s w i t h o t h e r s ? D o
       l i v e t h e s p i r i t o f " m u t u a l s u p p o r t l ' b y a&
       ways p r a i s i n g a n d b a c k i n g up o t h e r s stmn
       gly?
1   19.         Have I f i l i a l c o n f i d e n c e i n my s u p e r -
          i o r s ? Is t h e r e a n y t e n s i o n between u s          ?
          Do I g i v e t h e m a p r i v i l e g e d p l a c e       i n my
!         a f f e c t i o n s ? Do I e a g e r l y follow u p t h e i r
          i d e a s and o r d e r s ? When I a m w i t h them,do
          I s h o w my i n d i f f e r e n c e b;y r e m a i n i n g    sil
          e n t ? Do I l e a v e t h e m o u t o f my c o n v e r s a : -
          ions?          '




    20.         Does t h e Legion s a t i s f y m e c o m p l e t e l y ?
          Am I g l a d t o s p e n d my l i f e h e r e w i t h o u t .
          l o o k i n g f o r any g l o r y a 2 a r t from s e r v i n g
          C h r i s t ? Have I e v e r t h o u g h t o f t h e p o s s
          i b i l i t y of being a p r i e s t o r religious- .
          o u t s i d e t h e Legion?

    21.         Do I b e l i e v e t h a t w i t h G o d ' s h e l p a n d
          my own e f f o r t I c a n i n t e g r a t e m y s e l f m o r e
          and more e a c h d a y i n t g t h e L e g i o n ? I n
          s p i t e o f w h a t my f e e l i n g s o n t h e m a t t e r
          may b e , d o I b e l i e v e t h a t i t a l l d e p e n d s
          o n w h e t h e r God a s k s t h i s o f m e      o r not?
                                                                                                                I-,




                                                                                                                e
                                        86. FAITH AND      THE PRESENT
                                               SITUATION IN THE CHURCH


                                                                                                                t:
1.            What i s my a t t i t u d e when b r o u g h t          face
        t o , f a c e w i t h -<he p r e s e n t s i t u a t i o n i n t h e
        Church, a s d e s c r i b e d i n Nuestro P a d r e ' s
        l e t t e r o f December 2 5 , 1 9 6 6 ? Am I s t i l l
                                                                                                        -
        i g n o r a n t a b o u t i t ? Am I i n d i f f e r e n t o r u 2                                      .-,
        c o n c e r n e d ? Doss t h i s a l a r m s i g n a l s e e m a n
                                                                                                                i
        e x a g g e r a t i ~ n- L O me, s i n c e If i t ' s n o t a l l                                       i-    -4



                              .
        t h a t b a d . . . . 3 !l   On t h e o t h e r h a n d ,    as a
        C a t h o l i c and a Legionary,am I d e e p l y con-                                                              I

    -   cerned about -the s i t u a t i o n ?                                                                   ki
2   . on     D o I feel o b l i g e d t o form a . judgement
             the actual situation,                  i n accord with
        P a p a l and E c c l e s i a l d o c t r i n e , r s p a r t of
        my t r a i n i n g a s a L e g i o n a r y ?

3.            What f o r m d o e s t h i s j u d g e m e n t t a k e :
               -   an a t t i t u d e of s e r i o u s r e j e c t i o n of
                                                                                                                z..    ,
        t h e mistaken views being p u t forward                                                         in
        t h e f i r - l d r,f dr,p,rna a n d t h , : c , l o p , y , p a s t o r a l                            --A

        t h e o r y ant1               i mi t u;tl i t y ?
               -   ~>IIL* 0 I      , ~ , t - l , 8 ~ l 1. , l , , < * c - ' - l ) I ~ , l k C < 0 1 . t
                                                       U                                         ~          -
                                                                                                        fj>ro   . ,
                                                               , n ~ ~ J ,l "
        E ~ T ' ~ Si L e ~ , t t t I ~ o I ~ ~ L a t ~ I o ~l~I y e x c l u d i n g
                      v
                                                                                                                -      ,
        t h e e x c e s s e s p l \ c v a l e n t i n some c i r c l e s ?
               -   it!\ a t t i turlc. o f e n t h u s i . ~ s t i c w e l c o m e
      and adherence ( even i f o n l y i n t e r n a l ) t o
      the progressive current?
           -    f i n a l l y , a n a t t i t u d e o f r e s i g n e d acc
      e p t a n c e o f what I r e g a r d a s a n i n e v i t a b l e
       ' f a i t a c o m p l i ' i n t h e p r o g r e s s a n d e v o l u-
                                                                          t
      .ion of t h e Church?

4.          1 1 my o p i n i o n , w h a t e x t e r n a l c h a n n e l s
             .
       (T.V.,      f i l m s , books,magazines,contact w i t h
      o u t s i d e r s etc.) c o u l d f a c i l i t a t e t h e i n f i l
      tration of c r i t e r i a a n d a t t i t u d e s t y p i c a i
      of o v e r - p r o g r e s s i v e c u r r e n t s i n t o t h e corn
      m u n i t y t o which I b e l o n g ?
           -    Do I t h i n k t h a t i d e a s s u c h a s t h e s e
      h a v e a c t u a l l y a f f e c t e d me?
           -    Do I b e l i e v e t h e y a r e a c t i v e i n some
      o f my b r o t h e r s i n t h e L e g i o n ?
           -    What are t h e s i g n s o r i n d i c a t i o n s       -
      t h a t t h e s e i d e a s h a v e i n 5 i l t r a t e d my mind
      o r t h e m i n d s of my b r o t h e r s ?

5.       When f a c e d by t h e w i d e s p r e a d phenomen-
      on of l e g i t i m a t e a u t h o r i t y b e i n g q u e s t i o n
      a d , do I maintain my b a l i a f              in     -;he     ab-
       s o l u t e n e c e s s i t y o f d i s c i p l i n e i f any soc
       i e t y i s t o s u r v i v e ? Do 1 a p p l y t h i s p r i n
       c i p l e t o t h e C h u r c h ? Do I b e l i e v e t h a t t h e
      b e s t way I c a n show my l o v e f o r t h e @ i o n
       i s t o be s u b m i s s i v e t o i t s g u i d i n g p r i n -
     - c i p l e s a n d t o o b e y t h e r u l i n g s made b y my
      superiors?

6.      Have I come u n d e r t h e i n f l u e n c e o f t h e
     systematic, negative criticism of the                               -
     Church ( h e r . p e r s o n a g e s , i n s t i t u t i o n s   --
 a n d s t r u c t u r e s ) which' i s r i f e t o d a y ? Has.
 it l e s s e n e d t h e h a p p i n e s s I d e r i v e   from
 b e i n g a C a t h o l i c , a r e l i g i o u s , a Legionary,
 a p,riest?,
      -         y
           Is m C a t h n l i c F a i t h n o t a s s e c u r e
 ae such a f i x e d c r i t e r i o n should b e , even
 t h o u g h t h i s i n s e c u r i t y may. o n l y b e a v a g u e
 f e e l i n g I have?
     -     Do I b y a n y c h a n c e u s e t h e e x c u s e o - '
t h a t t h i n g s i n g e n e r a l are g o i n g badly t o
f o s t e r a h e s i t a n t a t t i t u d e towards g i v i n g
m y s e l f f u l l y t o my v o c a t i o n ?
      Does t h e b a d e x a m p l e o f t h o s e who f o z
s a k e t h e p r i e s t h o o d f o r t h e w o r l d , o r of
those who t a k e a d v a n t a g e o f e x c e s s i v e free_
dom t o d o a s t h e y p l e a s e w h i l e t r a i n i n g
f o r t h e p r i e s t h o o d , r o u s e my e n v y and make
me u n e a s y a b o u t t h e d i s c i p l i n e we h a v e i n
t h e Legion?

     When c e r t a i n r e g r e t t a b l e e v e n t s are        -
b r ~ u g h tt o m n o t i c e , a n d when ? h e a r a l a
                  y
rming news about t h e s m a l l numbers                    of   -
C h r i s t i a n s i n a g o d l e s s w o r l d , t h e decrease
                                                                   C




i n t h e number o f c o n v e r s i o n s t o C a t h o l i c -
i s m a n d t h e r e s t r i c t i o n and r e j e c t i o n o f
God, ( b o t h H i s Word a n d H i s R e d e m p t i o n l a m
I t e m p t e d t o t h i n k t h a t p e r h a p s we a r e wi.
n e s s i n g t.he b e g i n n i n g o f t h e d e a t h - t h r 9 e s
of C h r i s t i a n i t y ? Do I a d o p t t h e o p i n i o n      -
t h a t t h r - o n l y way t h i s c a n b e a v e r t e d s u c
c e s s f u l l y i s f o r t h e Church t o becomeWse=
ularised"       -     that is, t o r e v e r t t o merely
a human p l a n e on b o t h d o c t r i n a l a n d o r g a n     -
isational' levels?
                                                                   . .
8.          Do I r e a l i s e t h a t many n . i c e - - s o u n d i n g
      terms ( l i k d 'authenticity',                          'dialogue1,
      'maturity', 'aggiornamento',                            sself-realis
      a t i o n 1 , ' m a t u r e C h r i s t i a n i . t y ' , c m o t iona?:
      maturity', e t c . ) a r e used today, b u t t h a t
      e v e r y o n e i n h i s t u r n interprets t h e m a s
      it s u i t s h i m , w i t h t h e r e s u l t t h a t            it is
      impossible tkat I should accept                             such ex
      p r e s s d o n s a t t . h e i r f a c e v a l u e w i t h o u t e-   z
      amining t h e i r content?

9.         Do I b e l i e v e t h a t i t i s p o s s i b l e t o a i
      p e a l t o t h e Second Vatican Council o r i t s
      s p i r i t t o j u s t i f y t h e f a c t o f gdng. b e y o n d
      t h e l i m i t s s e t by t h e Church's               authority
      in liturgiczl, pastoral,                     a p o s t o l i c o r ec
      u m e n i c a l m a + . t e r s ? Go I b e l i e v e    it c a n b u
      opposed t o t h e Pope's Magistcrium?

10.         Can o n e a t t r i b u t e t o V a t i c a n 1 1 , t h e -
      ''new m e n t a l i t y " w h i c h t a k s z s t h c f o y z          of
      d e s t r u c t i v e c r i t i c i s m , t h e d e n i a l o f okad
      i e n c e and a s b c t i c a l t r a d i t i o c , o r t h a t i m
      a g e o f t h e l l a d e s a c r a l i s e d l l p r i e s t(, j u s t a n
      o t h c r p r o f e s s i o n a l man), a n t h r o p o c c n t r i c ~
      If V a t i c a n I T , t h e n , h a s n o t inspired t h i s               .
      "new n e f i u a l i t y l l , w h e r e h a s i t c o n e f r o m ?

 1
1 .      What d o e s t h e C h u r c h ' s d o g m a m e a n     t o
   me? I s i t a n u n c h a n g i n g t ~ u t h ,or s o m e -
   t h i n g which can be b e l i e v e d one day               and
   d i s r e g a r d e d t h e n e x t b e c a u s e i t no l o n g e r
   s a t i s f i e s public opinion?

12.        Can I s e e t h e V i c a r o f 2 h r i s t a s               the
      g u a r a n t e e of p e r s e v e r a n c e in faith              and
                                                                                 --
      truth, i n the straight path of                holiness
                                                                                 . -
      and f i d e l i t y t o C h r i s t and H i s Church  3

13.         Do I c r i t i c i s e t h e P o p e ' s a t t i t u d e t o         7'
      t h e p r e s e n t s i t u a t i o n 6r d o I        a c c e p t it       &
      w i t h c o m ~ l e t ef a i t h a n d s u b m i s s i o n ?
                        ,
14.         Do I b e l i e v e t h a t a t t h e p r e s e n t t i m e
      o f r e n e w a l t K e L e g i o n ' s p r o g r e s s is k e e ~     A




      ing pace with t h e Church's?                     5~\   I    think
      t h e L e g i o n i s l a g g i n g b e h i n d ? If so,          in       p
                                                                                 I i    a

      what a s p e c t s ? Is t h i s o p i n i o n th p r o d u c t
      o f my own t h i n k i n g o r i s i t s o m e t h i n g I
      h a v e h e a r d ? Do I k e e p my s u p e r i o r s u p t o
      d a t e on t h e d i s c r e p a n c i e s I n o t i c e       in -
      t h i s a s p e c t , o r d o I k e e p my            line       of
                                                                                 ''1
      thought hidden?                                                            i
                                                                                 & ,-

15.        Is t h e P o p e ' s M a g i s t e r i u m , b o t h o r d i n
      a r y and e x t r a o r d i n a r y ,   my i n c o n t e s t a b l e
      guide towards l i f e and t r u t h ?                                      i r
                                                                                 L I



16.         In the face of the present passion t o
      c r i t i c i s e a n d c h a n g e dogma a n d m o r a l s ,
      a n d i n t h e f a c e o f t h e many new a n d               err
      oneous t h e o r i e s which a r e p u t f o r w a r d , d o
      I t r y t o defend myself i n an i n f a n t i l e                -
      way, c r e a t i n g , t h r o u g h l a c k o f ' k n o w l e d g e
      o f t h e enemy, a f a n t a s t i c , m o n s t r o u s a n d
      h o r r i f y i n g i m a g e o f h i m ? Do I t h i n k t h i s
      i s a good d e f e n c e ?            Do I r a t h e r t r y t o
      f a c e up t o these d e p a r t u r e s f r o m t h e c r i
      t e r i a of t h c Gospel and t h e Church,                    by-
      g r r ~ u n d i n grfiyself s o l i d l y i n t h e C h u r c h ' s
      t r u t h ( t h e authorised Kagisterium), thus
                 a c q u a i n t i n g myself l i t t l e by l i t t l e , u s i n g
                 e x t r e m e c a u t i o n a n d d e p e n d i n g o n my s u p -
                 e r i o r s , w i t h t h e enemy's p o i n t o f view ?

                       I n viewing t h e s i t u a t i o n which             is -
                 t h r e a t e n i n g t h e Church, have I t h e insight
                 t o b e a b l e t o make o u t a c r i s i s o f f a i t h ,
                 a clouding o v e r and f o r g e t t i n g o f super-
                 n a t u r a l v a l u e s , a n e m p h a s i , ~on' rnan r a t k e r
                 t h a n God a s t h e e n d o f l i f e , a n d a n a t u r a l
                 i s t i c o u t l o o k w h i c h h a s come t o d o m i n a t g
                 t h e way C h r i s t i a n s t h i n k a n d a c t ?

           18.        Having done t h i s p r a c t i c a l examination,
                 a m I s t i l l prepared t o remain i n d i f f e r e n t ,
                 w i t h o u t m a k i n g a n y new r e s o l u t i o n o r s e t -
                                                                                   t
                 i n g m y s e l f a n y new t a r g e t s ?
I .
.
    I
    i.
    f
    I 'a
           19.         What d o I i n t e n d t o d o t o k e e p my s p i-
                 it a n d w i l l i n harmony w i t h t h e Church ,
                 which I s e e as f o u n d e d on P e t e r and h i s -
                                                                               r


                 s u c c e s s o r s , t h e Roman P o n t i f f s ? What d o I
                 t h i n k I should do, as a f u t u r e l e a d e r , p a l
                 tor a n d d i r e c t o r o f s o u l s , t o s e r v e t h e
                 Church b e t t e r ?

           20.         Have I e v e r f o u n d m y s e l f u n a b l e t o p u t
                 up a r e s i s t a n c e t o t h e enemy b e c a u s e          he
                 was w i s e r , b e t t e r - p r e p a r e d a n d b e t t e r i n -

    I            formed t h a n I was? Am I aware of t h e f a c t ,
                 o r h a s i t come t o my n o t i c e , t h a t g r e a t
                 enthusiasm, high-sounding speeches o r                           -
                 b u r n i n g emotions a r e n o t enough t @ e f e n d     d
                 t h e C h u r c h e f f e c t i v e l y , b u t t h a t i t i s a-  b
                 s o l u t e l y n e c e s s a r y t o have a s p i r i t u a l
and i n t e l l e c t u a l a r s e n a l e q u a l t o t h e
r e a l i t y o f t h e c h a l l e n g e which f a c e s m e ?
       A L P H A B E T I C A L


                                                       NO.          Pace
Apostolate Practice                                    79    ...        300
                    y
Blessed Virgin i n m l i f e                           13    ...        45

Charity                                                24    ...        92
Chastity                                           .   16    . ..   '    55

Church:. l o v e f o r t h e Church
              a n d t h e Pope
C h u r c h : p r e s e n t s i t u a t i o n of
C o m p l a i n i n g a n d f a u l t - f inding
Confession
Confidence i n s u p e r i o r s
Constancy
Conversation
Conviction: s p i r i t of
Crisis:      time of
Crucifix:        love f o r
Delicacy o f Conscience
Different: d a s i r e t o be
Discretion


Duty:     s e n s e of
E s p r i t d e Corps
                                               No.   '      Page
Eucharist                                       8     ...     29
Examination o f Conscience                      9    '...
.i'aint-heartedness              and
            i n f e r i o r i t y complex      77     ...
Isith:       and t h e p r e s e n t s i t -
             uation i n the Chunh
Faith:       and s u p e r n a t u r a l
             spirit
F e a r o f Goci
'::delity
F i g h t i n g spirit
Foresight.         :


                       y
C r c c e o f God i n m l i f e
Sratitude
Hnp?iness
!!urnan     formation
:iuman r e s p e c t
H-~mility
Tdeal
Initiative.            s p i r i t of
Integration
I n t e r i o r life
                             No.               Page
Jesus Christ in my life       3        ...       10
Legion: love for             33        ..      1.34
Legion: "Sensus Legionis"    34    ,   . ..-   136
Manli-ess and virility       58 .      . ..    227
Man of the Kingdom           32        ...     129
Mass
Mediocrity and tepidity
Meekness
Mortificati0n:and penance:
             spirit of
Obedience
Order: sense of
Orientation of my life
          towards God
                  ',
Passions: formation of
Perfection: spirit of
Pope: love for the Church
       and the Pope
Poverty
Prayer
Priesthood
Private Vow: first
                                 . .       No.   Page
P r i v a t e Vow: s e c o n d


2rudence
Purity o f ~ n t e n t i o n
4 u r p o s e o f Amendment
Reading
Realism
Relations with t h e family
E;esponsibility: sense o f
Sacred H e a r t : ' d e v o t i o n t o
Self-denial                  .
Sentimental! t y




Sincerity
S o c i a l Behaviour, r u l e s o f
:p i r i t u a l   ~irection
Z ~ i r i t u a lP r o g r e s s
Study              _.   ..

 e
l mptation
Time: us,e o f

								
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