November 25, 2003 Volume 85, Issue 2 IN THIS ISSUE: Page 2 Father of the Bride Brings Laughter, Joe Gibbs brings back the tradition of the Grey Box; also, there’s even a cartoon! Success by Griffin Drutchas ‘05 Staff writer The play opens at a breakfast table in the Banks household, an impressive looking A s I pray everyone set, complete with a double Page 3 knows, this year’s fall staircase. The Banks family play was “Father of the discusses the subject of Kay, the Freshman retreat Bride,” a production of the absent daughter of the family, and Freshman Robbie Dwight original stage play upon which the her boyfriend, Buckley. As rumors reports on the experience of well known Steve Martin cinematic of marriage for the two fly over attending his first retreat at U couplet was based. As the toast and tea, Tommy Banks, the of D. Harlequins have a reputation for youngest son, played by Michael producing wonderful shows, I was Nagrant, interjects from time to Mr. McElgunn interested in attending this year’s time with witty commentary. stage play. However, I wasn’t Nagrant, a new-comer to the Drew Mast interviews one of convinced that I could find any Harlequins, sprinkles his side U of D’s AVCs for the 2003- show more enjoyable than last comments among the moaning and 04 school year. year’s fantastic “Arsenic and Old groaning of Mr. Banks with Lace.” A gust of conviction came surprising skill. Hopefully, his raw Page 4 without warning after school a talent will bode well for the future week or two prior to the play. I of the Harlequins. There need Cross Country was heading through the Atrium not be any surprise when this small way to wraps up season on myI noticed athe outer blond, when wave of doors freshman takes a lead in his junior year. Another immediately A recap of the cross country’s unmistakably female hair blown up noticeable actor is John DeFour, a concluding meets. in the air by a gust of wind from perfect fit for the typical groaning some indeterminable direction. As father role which Mr. Banks Quiz Bowl a male surrounded by males all of requires. His delivery of lines may the day, I find my body on often be misinterpreted as poor, U of D’s quiz bowl team looks permanent alert for any signs of “Father of the Bride” rehearsal. As words on the fall play,” he told me. thoughts of escaping the belly of Wonderful idea, Mark. (Editor’s with constant stumbling. Instead, to challenge opponents while the opposite sex. This sudden this massive stone beast we call note: Thank you, Griffin.) his frequent stumbles add to a further exhibiting knowledge on appearance of long blond hair was perfect portrayal of a tired, worried, “school” entered my mind, visions Wonderful idea, indeed. Now I had very cool subjects. quite startling to the senses. gray-haired father. A few minutes of beauty and blond quickly my sure ticket. “Honey, I have to Imagining a number of famous into the play comes the first exited. However, a feeling of guilt go to watch the pretty blond girl Insight: What’s up feminine entrances in movies strayed with me. After all, I did perform. It’s a Cub News appearance of Kay, the bride-to- which utilize slow-motion be. [Enter Meredith Spencer. with our modern (Cameron Diaz in The Mask comes (and still do) have a girlfriend. assignment.” An impregnable Audience begins to make loud and Being a reasonably honest man I argument, I felt. My girlfriend media? to mind), I watched this Blondie obnoxious cat calls and whistles.] couldn’t in good conscience go to ended up coming with me to the giggle and playfully put her hair My girlfriend and I Tom Szczesny offers his intake back in place as I walked out the play only to see this young girl. play. “An insurance policy,” she Giving up all hope, I decided to called it. As the lights went down simultaneously figured out that on the current affair of mass door. Falling prey to the typical abandon my endeavor. Yet the in the house and Mr. Banks, Meredith Spencer was the name media in the United States. male habit of checking out the rear of my “little Blondie.” My ever-resourceful editor-in-chief played by John DeFour, took the view, I watched her disappear brought a smile back to my face. stage, I briefly forgot about “little around the corner, headed for See FALL PLAY, page 2 “I need you to write eight hundred Blondie.” Students attend Democratic Presidential Candidate Debate by Dan Jones ‘05 and waved gregariously to the of President Bush. On while Lieberman (an Orthodox Jew) would be a three way tie between Staff writer overwhelmingly supportive environmental issues, most the looked on in detached Kucinich, Braun, and Lieberman. th crowd, the debate was set to begin. candidates took non-controversial bemusement and said into his mike, No, none of those candidates were O n October 26 , 2003, the The candidates now entered half-chuckling and half-grimacing, the true winners of the debate. “don’t-make-waves” stances, with fabulous Fox Theater in the theater, waving and smiling ear “I am not even going to go there.” The true winner was certainly the notable exception of Downtown Detroit was to ear as if they were greeting old It is not clear that Sharpton made Governor Howard Dean. While Congressman Kucinich, who fully the scene of the debates between friends. The candidates took their a guffaw or meant exactly what he Dean prove unremarkable in the supports “radical” changes to U.S. the nine democratic presidential places behind their respective had said. debate, he won in the sense that environmental standards. candidates. Fifteen U of D podiums as the crowd settled After most debates end, there the debate was inconsequential to The brunt of the debate was students were chosen to go, based down. Standing at the lecterns, left is a clear winner. Not so with this him. The debate was of little taken up by talk of the war in Iraq. on their interest in politics (as to right, the candidates debate. There are several problems importance to Dean because he Unanimously the candidates were observed through their social participating were: Senator John with determining the final outcome was and still is the front-runner in against the Bush administration’s studies courses). Kerry, Senator John Edwards, in a debate of this nature. The first the polls. All the other candidates actions regarding the war. Some of Stepping into the lobby of the Reverend Al Sharpton, problem is that, with nine were well aware of this fact; the the candidates were did not have Fox Theater, after getting through Congressman Dennis J. Kucinich, participants, it is far more difficult whole debate seemed to be a side clearly defined views on whether a considerable security presence, Carol Moseley Braun, Governor to deem an out-and-out winner. issue, as all the candidates seem the war in Iraq was bad in and of I immediately felt underdressed in Howard Dean, General Wesley K. Another more complicated to be jockeying for the V.P. slot itself, most notably Senator Kerry my blue jeans and lack of necktie. Clark, Dick Gephardt, and Joe problem in deeming a winner is this: with Dean. and General Clark, who both I felt especially underdressed when Lieberman. The debate format gave What exactly determines who The debate was an exercise in waffled and showed signs of veiled compared to the dozens of suites candidates one minute to respond won? Would the candidate who the democratic process; however, hostility when pushed on the topic milling around the lobby. The to their question. The questions gets the best crowd response win? for the candidates not making a of Iraq. crowd was exceedingly well- were questions that were not Would the winner be the strong showing in the polls During the foreign policy dressed and made up of a mixed answered with ease. candidate who best sums up their (Kucinich, Braun, and Sharpton), portion of the debate, Joe demographic. Making my way to The questions posed to each positions? If the winner of the the debates were just another Lieberman spoke on his belief that an empty seat, I immediately candidate concerning domestic debate were the candidate who difficult step of the way until the a separate religious state of examined the stage from my issues were heavily biased by the gets the best crowd response than nominations. If Dean is indeed Jerusalem was necessary and somewhat distant viewpoint. On fact that the debate took place in the winner would almost certainly nominated, which of the peace could be achieved through the stage were nine lecterns, one Detroit, meaning many of the be Al Sharpton, since Sharpton has candidates will go quietly? Most the creation of a separate state. for each candidate, and a table questions concerned labor issues impressive oratory skills and of them will, but what the Directly after Lieberman’s with three seats facing the lecterns. and topics affecting the working received at least two standing Democrats cannot afford is a comments Al Sharpton spoke, “We As people were still taking their middle class. Most of the domestic ovations from the theater. If the “fringe” third party candidate who need to take the Christian Right seats, several Michigan political issues segment was not a point of winner of the debate was the will siphon votes away from the out of the White House and put heavies were introduced, people conflict among candidates, and the candidate who summed up their Democrats and drive nails into the right Christians in!” This like Detroit mayor Kwame segment devolved into a session positions and made clear their their coffin. statement received a standing Kilpatrick, Michigan governor devoted to the mutual resentment intentions best, then the win ovation and raucous applause Jennifer Granholm, and Michigan Congressman Sander Levin. After the various politicos had smiled Page 2 November 25, 2003 Nov It’s time for the It’s for by Joe Gibbs ‘05 Layout Editor The Grey Box Returns leaders student leader s that, if this is the case, you ought about to end in a flash of oblivion H ey everybody. Joey’s back to recall that AP history papers is all a part of the teachers’ at the keys and the settle somewhere between unquenchable desire for mischief. metaphorical fur’s a’flyin of U of D to step inhalants and the many different Oh sure, half the fun of teaching is here, so duck and cover all forms of marijuana on the school the cultivation of young minds for perishable items. If you feel up to drug list. You know, the one they the betterment of society in notch it up a notch it, that is. Everyone seems so pass around at the beginning of general, but what about the other completely devoid of energy this the year “just in case”. I’m not half? See, when the teachers get time of year. There is something in saying that you should be really, really bored in autumn (not the air now, a sense of foreboding. committed or anything just unlike the majority of their pupils), But with six days of worry-free by Mark Szczepanski ‘04 because you have a Thirty Years’ they decide to have a little fun at Thanksgiving break to look Editor-in-Chief forward to, what could possibly be War fetish, but yeah… the expense of their students. One way or another, we all end Where else do these hideously the matter? To answer this up back in class in late August. excruciating projects come from I t’s my senior year at the University of Detroit Jesuit High School question, we must look to the and Academy. Without a doubt, I have experienced several changes And one way or another, every save the contorted minds of our dawn of the school year, all the way ever since walking up the famed steps that lead up to the main single teacher in the school starts professors? They chuckle silently back in September. off the year by going over the at our gaping stares of disbelief entrance. A fourteen year-old kid who liked to write and investigate Even the most lethargic of us now finds himself at the head of the school newspaper, a feat that he syllabus in great detail. Then, just and proceed on to the next subject, have to admit that a little bit of as the bell is about to ring for the one we will have a test on the never imagined at the time. A kid who embraced creative thoughts in order never hurt anyone after his mind but did not know how to go about thinking more about them homeroom or whatever, he or she day the projects are due. The being in a state of such eaxtreme will slip in something barely problem is that we’ve let them get and persuing them now has a relatively decent thought process after entropy over the summer. The his first three years at U of D High. audible about some obscure to close to us… they know how opening of a new school year is twenty-page group project/report we operate and are prepared to take As editor-in-chief of the Cub News, I have had a responsibility enticing in a way that is completely placed upon me, a responsibility that I did not conceive of before this that’s due the day before advantage of every tiny flaw in the inexplicable: what is it that draws Christmas break. We’ve all had design the stereotypical high school year. Obviously, I knew that the role of an editor-in-chief was us so willingly into the crocodile’s not an easy one; I knew that there would be a lot of responsibility and those. You know, the ones that you school student. jaws? No one knows for certain, could swear on a stack of Bibles, And so we are given a choice a lot of pressure. In taking the job, I accepted both the successes and but there are an awful lot of the failures that go with the job. Talmuds, and Qu’rans were never of things to do over break. We may theories floating around. Perhaps assigned? Suddenly, it’s either thoroughly enjoy our time But the scope of my job did not hit me until recently. To my surprise, the most horrendously isolated of students seemed to be invigorated at the fact that the first issue was Thanksgiving and comments not off, eating turkey to the dinner mint you out there look to the start of unlike “It’s a good thing you all point, or waste countless hours at released, despite the fact that there had been so many problems in its term as a chance to finally consort development stages. People who I had never communicated with in have been working on your so and so’s house in Grand Rapids with beings outside of your semester projects. Ha ha… You do or God knows where else any way, shape or form came up, gave me a pat on the back, and said, immediate families. Others may “Congratulations, man. I really liked the first issue.” know, of course, that it’s due in attempting to get our reports on have realized that, while at school, less than three weeks and that you Capital Punishment done for one It was in realizing that the scope of my job goes beyond both the they were temporarily shut off from publications office and the actual publication of the newspaper that I have no possible way of getting sadistic professor or another. Now, the incessant nagging of their them finished if you haven’t the logical thing to do is to put the truly began to discern myself as a leader within the school. In realizing parents by a wall of solid that I was, indeed, an important leader within the school, I began to already been fermenting your pain off for as long as possible and sandstone. Still others may feel cheese and collecting the spores thereby bring one’s hopes of a think about both my good and bad qualities as a leader. that the beginning of school marks And this, my fellow Cubs, is the challenge that I present to you: If for the last two months. Ha ha… worry-free Turkey Day into the start of a number of fall sports; Oh, and they are worth a third of fruition. Perhaps you’ll head you’re a leader, then act like a leader. If you’re not a leader, then be a nobody likes wasting countless leader in your own constructive way. your semester grade. Ha ha.” Of downtown in the wee hours of the weeks (and dollars) at Total Soccer course, there’s always one quiet morning and camp out before the I’m not saying that the student leadership at this school is in dire for nothing. Now, I hate to say this, straits; certain aspects of student leadership here at U of D have both kid in the class who smiles proudly parade starts. Or maybe you’ll but some of you weirdos out there to himself at the thought of the head over to Grandma’s house for their good and bad characteristics. And it is because the potential for (and I’m not mentioning any “bad” exists that I challenge leaders to examine themselves more super intelligent fungus that he’s some homemade Butterball. This carefully. names, mainly in case one of your been cultivating in his sock drawer is all well and good for the 27th, number is a lot bigger and burlier for the last month. Probably a big, but you cannot allow yourselves After four years of attending U of D High, students are released than I am due to non-stop soccer into the oblivion that is known as the “real world.” Statistics show burly quiet kid who has it out for to be enticed by the joy of doing and/or D & D) probably like to start certain Layout Editors… absolutely nothing constructive. that the “real world” is quite different from what one finds at U of D school again because you just Moreover, it shouldn’t require a whole lot of thought in order to see Anyway, the reason that you That’s just what the teachers can’t get enough of that get the feeling that the world is that the world, in and of itself, stinks. There’s a lot of work to be done. homework. I’d just like to point out See GREY, page 3 This is where U of D comes into the picture. Sure, it’s a Catholic school, and it’s sheltered like any other private instituion. Students by Luke Rizik ‘07 aren’t always allowed to do whatever they want, whether it be within Cartoonist Walkathon 2003 reason or not. But the school unabashadly promotes the development of sound, quality leaders within its walls. That’s where you, the student, come into play. Leaders, you were probably chosen because you exhibited qualities that are prevalent of leaders. Now is the time to reevaluate yourself as a leader. What is it that you are out to accomplish? Think about what you want to do, and act on it. Stand up for your ideas and what you believe in. Be concrete. Always remember that “Men for Others” talk; it’s about leadership. At U of D, leaders are expected to develop their skills and qualities as a leader within the “Grad-at-Grad” outline. We should use that as the basis towards developing leadership. For those of you that don’t have the title of a leader – that is no excuse not to be a leader. After a relatively strong start to my senior year, I admit that a bit of “senioritis” kicked in for a couple of weeks. A couple of my best friends, surprisingly, came up to me and told me that I had fallen into the trap of senioritis. They told me what they saw, and it shook me up. Since then, I have not only reinvigorated myself as a leader within the school, but I also renewed my passion to succeed in the academic program at U of D. You, the student, can lead by getting good grades. How is this possible? Well, I can say that a lot of what you learn in terms of subject matter won’t be remembered for the rest Joe Gibbs ‘05 Editorial Staff Drew Mast ‘04 of your life. But what you will remember are the work ethics and the attitude towards responsibility that you developed in completing Layout Editor Mark Szczepanski ‘04 News Editor schoolwork. These are skills not only needed for leadership but they Editor-in-Chief are also skills on which to build a solid foundation for a successful life. So, if you’ve been academically napping, now is the time to wake up. Evan Eustice ‘05 Bob Buchta ‘66 The world is calling for leaders; rather, it is in dire need of leaders. Brendan Dudley ‘04 That’s where we, as the students of U of D Jesuit, have to step up to Photo Editor Moderator the challenges that we face now in addition to future challenges. Copy Editor Therefore, it is all the more important that we develop leadership characteristics now and maintain the integrity of leadership within our Pete Mareskas ‘06 Andrew Costello ‘04 school. News Editor Sports Editor The future is dependent on what is produced today. The world will always need leaders and people to look to. Let’s work on being those leaders for tomorrow – today. November 25, 2003 Nov Page 3 Reflections: My near-six Freshmen enjoy first retreat experience by Robbie Dwight ‘07 their hands in front of it and make as I was leaving, I noticed the paper years at U of D Staff Writer the paper towel come out,” said Grant. Grant said he spent at least towel dispenser and decided to wash my hands.” There was a long I t seemed like an ordinary retreat. We said a prayer, 3 minutes washing his hands and pause. Nothing was said. by Tom Sklut ‘04 interviewed another student drying them just to get to use that Everyone was realizing that if Grant Staff Writer and introduced them to the rest of paper towel dispenser. had not told the group about the S o, it’s senior year. Wah-hoo! But don’t get “senioritis” too early “alien” paper towel dispenser, Mr. the group, and then had some We all had quite a laugh. because there’s still a lot to do. For some, that’s more than others. Carter might not have had his reflection time. It was time to have But this was not the only It’s strange to think that I’ve spent 6 years of my lifetime at U of hands “clean from sin.” lunch. We all sat down, said a supernatural happening that day. D. Don’t get me wrong, I’d give my left lung to the place, but still- 6 We all had a laugh and prayer and went up to the lunch As a joke, I told Garret Carter that years is a little less than a third of my life! went on with the rest of the days’ line to get some grub. Grant there were Bibles hung over the “Step into the zone,” and think back to your academy days. Why is activities, which included Lawrence was no where to be urinals so you could read the Bible it that I have nightmares of a tall, balding man cruising the hall with a basketball in the gymnasium and found until everyone got back while you are using the facilities. baseball bat in hand? Gentlemen, the academy was a time where my “peacefully reflecting” in the from the lunch line. He sat down Mr. Carter then proceeded to get cares were free. Reading “Lord of the Rings” for class and diagramming gardens. The day ended with a and seemed very excited about up and go to the bathroom and we sentences on the board. I must be confused. I never remember being prayer and we were then dismissed something that was unbelievable. didn’t see or hear him for five whole that small. As I’ve grown so has the class load. to the buses to go back to school. He began to ramble about the minutes. Mr. Carter comes back in Those of you taking Mr. Coyne’s “AP-Honors-Bio-for-those-who- That day I learned that aliens are paper-towel dispenser, for it was fury and exclaims, “Dwight! You want-to-spend-all-their-time-in-a-book,” I can’t say that I feel for you, watching us when we wash our no ordinary dispenser.He are such a liar!” I then asked him because science was never my thing. Hey, I dissected the pig, which hands and that now Bibles have described the dispenser as if it why it took him five minutes to Zach Rittenhouse ’04, and I aptly named “Suave” after the hand soap in free will and have to ability to were the Holy Grail (now Monty figure out that there were no bibles Mr. C’s room. And those who had Applied Chemistry last year know move. And here is something that Python needs a new subject for a hung over the urinals in the mens how much “Black Hawk Down,” “Saving Private Ryan,” and “Dances I want you, the reader, to think movie). Grant was amazed by the room. He then explained, “Well, I with Wolves” have to do with chemistry; as “applied” as it may have about. When you use the facilities fact that you waved your hand in actually used the bathroom and been. and don’t wash your hands, not front of the dispenser and then looked for the Bibles for about “Bel-bowling,” and doing HO’s (Mr. Bel’s endearing abbreviation only does God see you, but suddenly the paper towel was a minute. I couldn’t find them of Hand Out) rest high on the list of my favorite academic memories. apparently aliens do too... dispersed. “Maybe aliens control because they were hiding behind Not that I would ever sleep during his class ... I usually saved that for it and they can see people wave the urinals or something. Then, the days when I had to watch Huston Smith videos. In some respects, I feel that my time at “The High” has been too FALL PLAY couple, a quality sometimes short. I only get a year of senior service. I only have a year to be the From page 1 lacking in real couples. The high room clothed in her wedding dress drum major. I only have another year to spend with underclassmen, girlfriend immediately decides to point of the play came with the and veil. Though the play ends many of which I’ve gotten to know so well in 5 years here and many refuse any conversation with me entrance of Massoula, the before the wedding, I can bet it that I haven’t had the privilege to know yet. But in a year, things will for the rest of the night. Her loss. wedding planner. Adopting a went well. After all, how can a change even more. Now without any other girls to French accent and high energy, ceremony go wrong with such a Change sweeps us all up in its tides, pushing us out to sea, but that distract me, my eyes could adjust Jillian Bonahoom tackles arguably beautiful bride? Its the marriage should never be a bad thing. I’ve seen pop come in and out of the to the brightness now radiating the most difficult role of the we should worry about. As I left cafeteria- from Coke to Fruitopia, and, now, the beloved Pepsi. The from Meredith, an interesting production and delivers the most the school to go back to my cold, cycle of life at U of D is constant. In general, an experience at U of D is contrast to the attire of her family, enjoyable performance of the play. cold car, and face my cold, cold a communal thing of its own. Students experience the same things- hopelessly stuck in the early 90’s. She delivers her comedic lines with girlfriend, I somehow maintained masses, dances; we witness the school forming around us, and we feel Spencer plays the cutesy, though absolute perfection, never once a smile. If it wasn’t “little Blondie,” the school changing us. We witness not only the dedication of new often pout-y Kay quite well. Joe missing a syllable, giving Martin it must have been thoughts about buildings but the atmosphere and mentality of “The High.” There is an Maccio, playing Kay’s fiancee, Short, the wedding planner in the how my distant wedding might experience like no where else; and I’m sure once you strip down whatever Buckley, quickly impressed me as cinematic production of “Father of mirror the one I just saw, and how experience you have had the U of D, you will find too that we are all he flawlessly delivered his lines the Bride” a run for his money. I would never get there if I kept brothers between these hallowed halls. with all the energy of a confused After more enjoyable antics that running into cute, little brides-to- Thousands of guys have entered through the front doors together bridegroom-to-be. One I’m sure I’ll understand better be . and have been impacted by the teachings of St. Ignatius and the Jesuit improvement to the play would when I marry, the day of the tradition of education. As a school, we need to embrace these ideals definitely be more appearances by wedding finally comes. Hearts, as because they are what make the school outstanding and a step above Maccio. He and Spencer also well as any smidgen of trust my the rest. Not only are we educated in these ideals, but we are living displayed the genuine chemistry girlfriend had in me, drop as Kay them out. “Men for Others.” I know it sounds cliche-d, so let me put it and dynamics of an engaged enters the stage from an upper another way. There is a school spirit unlike other college preps. If you saw one of your classmates getting roughed up by another gentleman from a less-prestigious all-male school, would you run to his aid, even if he wasn’t a friend? I think you would. That’s an example of the spirit New Guys at U of D: that you are endowed with when you attend U of D. That same mentality was present 6 years ago and it is still present today. I asked myself, “So Tom, how have things actually change if this Mr. Dan McElgunn, AVC by Drew Mast ‘04 attitude about U of D is still present?” Well, in my opinion, the spirit has Managing Editor only grown stronger. Look at the facts- Enrollment has been the highest M r. McElgunn ’99 played student. “It was more of an AVCs of recent years, which was in the last four years, rivaling the 1960s, when we had over 1000 guys hockey at U of D for afterthought,” he says, “when I key – it all helped lead him back to wandering the halls. Sports events are packed with not only U of D three years. So we was getting ready to graduate from The High – this time, as a volunteer. guys but also many, many girls (just another reason to go to upcoming talked a little hockey. college.” The AVC route appealed He took a lot of art as a student basketball games). Hey, lets not forget the marching band and their You have to be kind of a freak to him as he was trying to decide – AP Art at U of D, and various art improvement! (Editor’s note: This isn’t self-gratification, is it, Tom? to be a goalie, right? Mr. what he wanted to “get done,” classes in college. He also majored Just kidding ... heh.) There is a sense of pride to be a Cub that has not McElgunn sits across the table in in a technology-focused liberal decreased in any small amount but soared to new heights of importance. the art room, and pauses, not liking arts program, which he appreciated Gentlemen, I hope you realize you make history everyday. Though the question. He was the goalie. for its educational flexibility and you may not see it now, we are all becoming men for others by doing the “I was used to it,” he shrugs, “I customization. He also finds such little things that make U of D an outstanding school- the Examine of played goalie since like, fifth, sixth flexibility in the AVC program, he Conscience, morning Mass, Focus:Hope food deliveries, the giant grade.” The team at U of D was says, which helps. Now he assists Focus:Hope drive in December, school retreats, extra curricular decent, recalls the new AVC; in his Mrs. Mooney in teaching two art activities, good sportsmanship and many, many other activities. We are senior year, they broke the state classes, in addition to working in becoming “Men for Others,” growing together physically, mentally and ranking for the first time. He also the technology department. spiritually. recalls the hard work. “Hockey was Things have changed at U of D Do not sit back, Cubs. Do not let U of D Jesuit High School and a year-round thing, man. We were since Mr. McElgunn was last here. Academy pass you by like a visually stimulating, yet boring and always in the weight room or He didn’t visit The High while in ultimately, confusing movie (i.e. The Matrix: Revolutions). Embrace your playing some kind of game.” Of college, and notices things are destiny and embrace the changes of U of D Jesuit because you will course, being an AVC isn’t always doubly mixed up because, as an shape the face of things to come. Embrace the traditions and stand with a cakewalk, either. AVC, he sees things from a pride as a Cub. AVC stands for Alumni different perspective. It’s difficult GREY Volunteer Corps. It’s the program to make a direct comparison from page 2 at U of D that allows Cub alums to between the school then and the want. They love to see us squirm They’re tricksey little blighters, come back and volunteer at the school now, because, he says, at the thought of huge long-term those teachers, and if you give school, typically after college, post-college. He recalls having a he’s looking from “the other side projects, but they are really them a paragraph, they’ll make you before starting a professional positive relationship with the AVCs of the fence.” hoping that we put everything off write up a research paper. Don’t career. at U of D when he was a student; “It’s a little Twilight Zone-ish,” until the last minute and go let the teachers gain the upper Being an AVC didn’t really occur he really looked up to some of reflects McElgunn, “and vaguely violently insane because of the hand! Complete those projects to Mr. McElgunn as a high school them. He also kept in touch with familiar.” pressure to get things done. before the faculty sees weakness! Above: Mr. McElgunn’s rendering of himself. Courtesy of Mr. McElgunn. Page 4 November 25, 2003 Nov Cub Cross Country Wraps Up Season The Craziness of our Craziness Present Pr esent Media by Max Katsarelas ‘07 Staff Writer Michigan International Speedway in Brooklyn. The Cubs faired well in the 27 E arlier this month, the Cubs nd team field, finishing 22 . Despite the odds, by Tom Szczesny ‘04 cross country team the Cubs ended the season on a good note. Staff Writer concluded the season in dramatic T fashion, with great finishes at the Catholic Overall,the 2003 season was one to hese are confusing times. original anymore and most just butcher League Finals and the State Championship remember. “The team did outstanding all Gone are the days when timeless classics. I’m sure Cat Stevens is Meet. season long, especially in the big meets, Regis Philbin ruled the media world crying somewhere because of Sheryl Crow. The Cubs came in third place at the like the Regional. It was a great season,” with an iron fist. His magic touch seemed to I crave that old time rock and roll; the kind Catholic League Finals, trailing only Brother stated senior captain Tom Szczesny. decline right along with Tyrone of music that just soothes your soul. The Rice and Catholic Central, who finished first Looking ahead to the future, the cross Willingham’s, and if we cannot depend on kind of music you could dance around in and second, respectively. The Cubs country team loses a solid core of varsity the Irish for luck, then what has our world your underwear too. On second thought, I finished with a fine score of 91 points, due competition in seniors Tom Szczesny, come to? Judging by what the media suppose Christina Aguilera has addressed to the performances of Kirk Leonard, who Andrew Costello, Jon Maten, Jim Grau, and bombards us with today, not a whole lot. that problem, but if Risky Business came finished ninth and Josh Lisiecki, close Brian Williams. However, the Cubs return What an unfortunate reality. out today, I could hardly see Tom Cruise th varsity runners Josh Lisiecki, Kirk Leonard, Back when Regis was king, the staple of bounding around to the melodic tunes of behind at 10 . The Cubs’ success did not end there, as Pat Moore, as well as a solid junior and his empire at least had some educational Dirty. the team pulled out a huge victory at the senior class that includes Barry Stokes, Peter value. Who Wants to be a Millionaire not Maybe the solution lies in refocusing Ted Regional Championship meet held at Metro Nagel, Bob Schnitmann, Tom Dougan, and only provided all viewers with an excellent Nugent. You see I recently saw him on a Beach Metropark. The Cubs finished with Brian Lynch. The 2004 will impress many example of a rhetorical question, but also cable news network explaining why a score of [ ], edging out east-side rivals critics and spectators alike. offered tidbits of totally irrelevant celebrities like to voice their opinions on Grosse Point South ( ) and Grosse Point “This great group of seniors will be information and stressed the importance of political issues. I guess it takes one to know North ( ). All regional performances were missed as well as their constant dedication befriending smart people. So maybe the one. The sad thing is that he made as much run by Josh Lisiecki, Kirk Leonard, John and hard work,” commented Moore. “It is show didn’t accomplish all that much; at sense as anyone else on that or any other Maten, Pat Moore, and Tom Szczesny, tough when you lose this many runners. least it answered more questions that it political show that evening. paving the way to a third-consecutive We need to get others to step up and put in posed. That’s more than society can All debate has been reduced to shouting Regional Championship. high mileage. The more guys that do this, currently claim. and baseless arguments but mostly Next up was the MHSAA State Meet at the better we will be.” I fear our country is suffering through shouting. I think Chris Matthews, Bill an epidemic of unanswered questions. O’Reilly, and James Carville have a secret Quiz Bowl Review There are so many issues, so many loudmouth talking heads, and so many terrible Third Eye Blind songs that it’s just wager going and whoever registers the loudest decibel rating on their show in a given week wins the prize. They may not all by Isaac Elster ‘07 agree politically, but they still seem to share easier to block all this white noise out. Living Staff Writer in a bubble has its benefits, as long as your the same motto: when in the presence of n the 24th of November, there will be O two matches of the Quiz Bowl at our school. Our school will host the entire Quiz spending the day with each person in competitions. Mr. Roberge says about the last neighbor isn’t George Costanza or Kozmo Kramer for that matter. However, all we will ever breathe in our bubbles is stale air. guest capable of actually making a point, cut them off mid-sentence until their will to live is broken. Bowl league. That means about one hundred tournament, “There were four teams, sixteen Once in a while, it is necessary to inhale Of course, if this doesn’t work, they students from different schools will be guys competing. The low point of this round all the fresh, invigorating the rest of the could always make fun of Al Franken. That appearing at U of D Jesuit High School. of Quiz Bowl was that the Varsity team only world has to offer. This means taking stock seems to be the favorite option for Bill Mr. Edward Roberge, one of our had three people because the other team of the world around us so that we can O’Reilly, whose “No Spin Zone,” curiously counselors and the head of the Quiz Bowl member was taking SAT tests. We got to challenge and question. Such a process enough, seems to send guests and viewers at our school, explains what this the playoff round, but did not win because allows us to discover how television shows around in circles incessantly. Does the fact extracurricular activity is. “Quiz Bowl the other teams had four guys. The high are given to people for no other reason Al Franken can actually tell a joke make him tournaments are academic games.” point of this round was that Novice and other than the fact they are rich. I’m looking any less qualified to talk about politics? He’s “It’s played like Jeopardy. However, the Junior Varsity won third place, and there at you Paris and Ally. I wish the list stopped an educated man and has taught at Harvard, participants are on different teams, usually were twenty-four other teams there, so that there, but it doesn’t. As a matter of fact, but most people automatically dismiss him consisting of four or five members. The was a big accomplishment. that’s not even the worst television has to as a lunatic. Maybe he could benefit from moderator asks questions from a wide “Over-all, the tournament went really offer. long blonde hair and a few revealing skirts variety of subjects and the students on the well. Our freshman did really, really well, Television orchestrates train wrecks. like Ann Coulter. teams have to hurry and figure out the because their team was competing for the That is the best way to describe the More and more the “Billy Madison answer before their opponents do,” states first time. On the other hand, the teams entertainment being beamed across our response” seems to be appropriate for these Mr. Roberge. from public schools have been playing airwaves today. The question persists, how shows. The one that goes something like He continues, “The purpose of Quiz forever. This was only the second can it be so bad, yet so good at the same “everyone in this room is dumber for Bowl is for students to compete against tournament for our freshman.” time? I will freely admit that I watched every listening to your answer and may God have others and try to see who can answer Tony Accioli, a Quiz Bowl member on episode of Playmakers and even had a few mercy on your soul.” Nothing is ever said questions from wide ranges. This is very the Novice team, says, “The most fun parts questions at its conclusion. For instance, is or answered, yet there are a multitude of enjoyable to the students who participate. of the Quiz Bowl tournaments are going anyone in this “league” taught to tackle? questions being asked. Michael Moore tried The competitors see this as a time to have places, seeing schools, and winning Latroy Hawkins would probably say no. Or to respond to a few in his sensational fun and test their knowledge.” competitions. I think we did pretty well in how much would D.H.’s catheter go for on Bowling for Columbine, but then was Part of Mr. Roberge’s task of heading the last tournament. We got two trophies. eBay? showered with boos at the Oscars for the Quiz Bowl for our school is preparing We improved a lot since the first I will probably never know the answers voicing some of his other opinions. I guess the big study guide for the participants. In tournament.” to these questions, mainly because the someone forgot to tell him the forum was the study guide there is information about Chris Koch, another Quiz Bowl show will be canceled, but that only adds closed. nations’ rulers, political units, capitals, participant on the Novice team, adds, to my confusion. As if trying to figure out It seems this society claims to never scientists, and William Shakespeare. He “Another fun part of the Quiz Bowl where the Olsen twins are going to college forget, while never truly remembering either. also supervises the practices, where he and tournaments is showing that you’re next year wasn’t hard enough, now I have We conveniently forget a few founding the teams review the information and learn superior at knowledge. Third place is a nice to determine what’s cooler than being cool. principles and follow without question. That strategies to use during tournaments. improvement, because last round we didn’t It just never ends. One minute Uncle Jesse is until it’s too late. Then the answers are Mr. Roberge also arranges both levels of do so well. It’s lots of fun. There are lots of is educating Stephanie about the merits of too hard, and so we retreat into the media’s the competition. The first level of people to meet.” hard work, then next minute he’s touting alternate universe. The one where Ryan, competition is tournaments, which are also Mr. Roberge says that he wants more some calling card number. Which begs the Marissa, Seth, and Summer never fail to organized by schools like U of M Dearborn fellows checking out the Quiz Bowl. “I question, what happened to his rock career? entertain and all our questions remain and Hartland High School. The second level invite guys to come out, compete once or The music industry could use a good blissfully open ended. Mr. Roberge arranges is the Quiz Bowl twice, practice, and see what we’re about. man like Uncle Jesse today. Few acts are league. Some will most likely find it very enjoyable. When asked how participants are chosen For instance, everyone has fun in the cars to be on our Quiz Bowl team, Mr. Roberge driving to places. These kids are really In the December 2003 issue ... responded that if anyone is interested in funny. This one guy on the first Quiz Bowl becoming a member, they are invited to team could do these hilarious voice participate. He says there are no cuts yet, impersonations! You don’t have to be the ¨ Complete sports update, including and he would really like to see more guys best student to step out and join the Quiz who are interested in joining to come out Bowl. Remember, nobody knows the basketball, hockey, and skiing and participate. answers to all the questions.” When participating in the Quiz Bowl, So, now that you know what the Quiz ¨ Christmas-themed content students are given the opportunity of Bowl is all about, check it out. The event getting to know, appreciate, and understand on the 24th will be a good time to see the ¨ The Cub: What kind of Cub is it? their counselor and fellow classmates better. tournament and tell Mr. Roberge that you’re The Quiz Bowl members construct better interested in joining. Or, just tell him now. ... and more! relationships with each other while driving And remember to wish our fellows good to places like Hartland, Michigan and luck!
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