Father of the Bride Brings Laughter, Success

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					November 25, 2003                                                                                                                                                     Volume 85, Issue 2
  IN THIS ISSUE:
             Page 2                            Father of the Bride Brings Laughter,
 Joe Gibbs brings back the
 tradition of the Grey Box; also,
 there’s even a cartoon!
                                                             Success
                                           by Griffin Drutchas ‘05
                                                    Staff writer
                                                                                                                                                                         The play opens at a
                                                                                                                                                               breakfast table in the Banks
                                                                                                                                                               household, an impressive looking


                                        A
                                            s I pray everyone                                                                                                  set, complete with a double
            Page 3                         knows, this year’s fall                                                                                             staircase. The Banks family
                                           play was “Father of the                                                                                             discusses the subject of Kay, the
  Freshman retreat Bride,” a production of the                                                                                                                 absent daughter of the family, and
 Freshman Robbie Dwight           original stage play upon which the                                                                                           her boyfriend, Buckley. As rumors
 reports on the experience of     well known Steve Martin cinematic                                                                                            of marriage for the two fly over
 attending his first retreat at U couplet was based. As the                                                                                                    toast and tea, Tommy Banks, the
 of D.                            Harlequins have a reputation for                                                                                             youngest son, played by Michael
                                  producing wonderful shows, I was                                                                                             Nagrant, interjects from time to
     Mr. McElgunn                 interested in attending this year’s                                                                                          time with witty commentary.
                                  stage play. However, I wasn’t                                                                                                Nagrant, a new-comer to the
 Drew Mast interviews one of convinced that I could find any                                                                                                   Harlequins, sprinkles his side
 U of D’s AVCs for the 2003- show more enjoyable than last                                                                                                     comments among the moaning and
 04 school year.                  year’s fantastic “Arsenic and Old                                                                                            groaning of Mr. Banks with
                                  Lace.” A gust of conviction came                                                                                             surprising skill. Hopefully, his raw
          Page 4                  without warning after school a                                                                                               talent will bode well for the future
                                  week or two prior to the play. I                                                                                             of the Harlequins.        There need
    Cross Country                 was heading through the Atrium                                                                                               not be any surprise when this small
                                           way to
  wraps up season on myI noticed athe outer blond,
                                  when               wave of
                                                               doors                                                                                           freshman takes a lead in his junior
                                                                                                                                                               year. Another immediately
 A recap of the cross country’s unmistakably female hair blown up                                                                                              noticeable actor is John DeFour, a
 concluding meets.                in the air by a gust of wind from                                                                                            perfect fit for the typical groaning
                                  some indeterminable direction. As                                                                                            father role which Mr. Banks
        Quiz Bowl                 a male surrounded by males all of                                                                                            requires. His delivery of lines may
                                  the day, I find my body on                                                                                                   often be misinterpreted as poor,
U of D’s quiz bowl team looks permanent alert for any signs of                 “Father of the Bride” rehearsal. As    words on the fall play,” he told me.
                                                                               thoughts of escaping the belly of      Wonderful idea, Mark. (Editor’s          with constant stumbling. Instead,
to challenge opponents while      the opposite sex. This sudden
                                                                               this massive stone beast we call       note: Thank you, Griffin.)               his frequent stumbles add to a
further exhibiting knowledge on appearance of long blond hair was                                                                                              perfect portrayal of a tired, worried,
                                                                               “school” entered my mind, visions      Wonderful idea, indeed. Now I had
very cool subjects.               quite startling to the senses.                                                                                               gray-haired father. A few minutes
                                                                               of beauty and blond quickly            my sure ticket. “Honey, I have to
                                  Imagining a number of famous                                                                                                 into the play comes the first
                                                                               exited. However, a feeling of guilt    go to watch the pretty blond girl
 Insight: What’s up feminine entrances in movies                               strayed with me. After all, I did      perform. It’s a Cub News                 appearance of Kay, the bride-to-
                                  which utilize slow-motion                                                                                                    be. [Enter Meredith Spencer.
   with our modern (Cameron Diaz in The Mask comes                             (and still do) have a girlfriend.      assignment.” An impregnable
                                                                                                                                                               Audience begins to make loud and
                                                                               Being a reasonably honest man I        argument, I felt. My girlfriend
          media?                  to mind), I watched this Blondie                                                                                             obnoxious cat calls and whistles.]
                                                                               couldn’t in good conscience go to      ended up coming with me to the
                                  giggle and playfully put her hair                                                                                            My           girlfriend and I
Tom Szczesny offers his intake back in place as I walked out the               play only to see this young girl.      play. “An insurance policy,” she
                                                                               Giving up all hope, I decided to       called it. As the lights went down       simultaneously figured out that
on the current affair of mass     door. Falling prey to the typical
                                                                               abandon my endeavor. Yet the           in the house and Mr. Banks,              Meredith Spencer was the name
media in the United States.       male habit of checking out the rear                                                                                          of my “little Blondie.” My
                                                                               ever-resourceful editor-in-chief       played by John DeFour, took the
                                  view, I watched her disappear
                                                                               brought a smile back to my face.       stage, I briefly forgot about “little
                                  around the corner, headed for                                                                                                See FALL PLAY, page 2
                                                                               “I need you to write eight hundred     Blondie.”

   Students attend Democratic Presidential Candidate Debate
      by Dan Jones ‘05
                                        and waved gregariously to the          of President Bush. On                  while Lieberman (an Orthodox Jew)        would be a three way tie between
            Staff writer
                                        overwhelmingly supportive              environmental issues, most the         looked on in detached                    Kucinich, Braun, and Lieberman.
                       th               crowd, the debate was set to begin.    candidates took non-controversial      bemusement and said into his mike,       No, none of those candidates were


O
          n October 26 , 2003, the           The candidates now entered                                               half-chuckling and half-grimacing,       the true winners of the debate.
                                                                               “don’t-make-waves” stances, with
          fabulous Fox Theater in       the theater, waving and smiling ear                                           “I am not even going to go there.”       The true winner was certainly
                                                                               the notable exception of
          Downtown Detroit was          to ear as if they were greeting old                                           It is not clear that Sharpton made       Governor Howard Dean. While
                                                                               Congressman Kucinich, who fully
the scene of the debates between        friends. The candidates took their                                            a guffaw or meant exactly what he        Dean prove unremarkable in the
                                                                               supports “radical” changes to U.S.
the nine democratic presidential        places behind their respective                                                had said.                                debate, he won in the sense that
                                                                               environmental standards.
candidates. Fifteen U of D              podiums as the crowd settled                                                       After most debates end, there       the debate was inconsequential to
                                                                                    The brunt of the debate was
students were chosen to go, based       down. Standing at the lecterns, left                                          is a clear winner. Not so with this      him. The debate was of little
                                                                               taken up by talk of the war in Iraq.
on their interest in politics (as       to right, the candidates                                                      debate. There are several problems       importance to Dean because he
                                                                               Unanimously the candidates were
observed through their social           participating were: Senator John                                              with determining the final outcome       was and still is the front-runner in
                                                                               against the Bush administration’s
studies courses).                       Kerry, Senator John Edwards,                                                  in a debate of this nature. The first    the polls. All the other candidates
                                                                               actions regarding the war. Some of
    Stepping into the lobby of the      Reverend         Al     Sharpton,                                             problem is that, with nine               were well aware of this fact; the
                                                                               the candidates were did not have
Fox Theater, after getting through      Congressman Dennis J. Kucinich,                                               participants, it is far more difficult   whole debate seemed to be a side
                                                                               clearly defined views on whether
a considerable security presence,       Carol Moseley Braun, Governor                                                 to deem an out-and-out winner.           issue, as all the candidates seem
                                                                               the war in Iraq was bad in and of
I immediately felt underdressed in      Howard Dean, General Wesley K.                                                Another more complicated                 to be jockeying for the V.P. slot
                                                                               itself, most notably Senator Kerry
my blue jeans and lack of necktie.      Clark, Dick Gephardt, and Joe                                                 problem in deeming a winner is this:     with Dean.
                                                                               and General Clark, who both
I felt especially underdressed when     Lieberman. The debate format gave                                             What exactly determines who                  The debate was an exercise in
                                                                               waffled and showed signs of veiled
compared to the dozens of suites        candidates one minute to respond                                              won? Would the candidate who             the democratic process; however,
                                                                               hostility when pushed on the topic
milling around the lobby. The           to their question. The questions                                              gets the best crowd response win?        for the candidates not making a
                                                                               of Iraq.
crowd was exceedingly well-             were questions that were not                                                  Would the winner be the                  strong showing in the polls
                                                                                     During the foreign policy
dressed and made up of a mixed          answered with ease.                                                           candidate who best sums up their         (Kucinich, Braun, and Sharpton),
                                                                               portion of the debate, Joe
demographic. Making my way to                The questions posed to each                                              positions? If the winner of the          the debates were just another
                                                                               Lieberman spoke on his belief that
an empty seat, I immediately            candidate concerning domestic                                                 debate were the candidate who            difficult step of the way until the
                                                                               a separate religious state of
examined the stage from my              issues were heavily biased by the                                             gets the best crowd response than        nominations. If Dean is indeed
                                                                               Jerusalem was necessary and
somewhat distant viewpoint. On          fact that the debate took place in                                            the winner would almost certainly        nominated, which of the
                                                                               peace could be achieved through
the stage were nine lecterns, one       Detroit, meaning many of the                                                  be Al Sharpton, since Sharpton has       candidates will go quietly? Most
                                                                               the creation of a separate state.
for each candidate, and a table         questions concerned labor issues                                              impressive oratory skills and            of them will, but what the
                                                                               Directly after Lieberman’s
with three seats facing the lecterns.   and topics affecting the working                                              received at least two standing           Democrats cannot afford is a
                                                                               comments Al Sharpton spoke, “We
As people were still taking their       middle class. Most of the domestic                                            ovations from the theater. If the        “fringe” third party candidate who
                                                                               need to take the Christian Right
seats, several Michigan political       issues segment was not a point of                                             winner of the debate was the             will siphon votes away from the
                                                                               out of the White House and put
heavies were introduced, people         conflict among candidates, and the                                            candidate who summed up their            Democrats and drive nails into
                                                                               the right Christians in!” This
like Detroit mayor Kwame                segment devolved into a session                                               positions and made clear their           their coffin.
                                                                               statement received a standing
Kilpatrick, Michigan governor           devoted to the mutual resentment                                              intentions best, then the win
                                                                               ovation and raucous applause
Jennifer Granholm, and Michigan
Congressman Sander Levin. After
the various politicos had smiled
       Page 2                                                                                                                                                   November 25, 2003
                                                                                                                                                                Nov


 It’s time for the
  It’s       for                                                                      by Joe Gibbs ‘05
                                                                                           Layout Editor
                                                                                                                             The Grey Box Returns
            leaders
 student leader s
                                                                                                                        that, if this is the case, you ought    about to end in a flash of oblivion

                                                                                H
                                                                                         ey everybody. Joey’s back
                                                                                                                        to recall that AP history papers        is all a part of the teachers’
                                                                                         at the keys and the
                                                                                                                        settle somewhere between                unquenchable desire for mischief.
                                                                                         metaphorical fur’s a’flyin

 of U of D to step
                                                                                                                        inhalants and the many different        Oh sure, half the fun of teaching is
                                                                                here, so duck and cover all
                                                                                                                        forms of marijuana on the school        the cultivation of young minds for
                                                                                perishable items. If you feel up to
                                                                                                                        drug list. You know, the one they       the betterment of society in

             notch
    it up a notch
                                                                                it, that is. Everyone seems so
                                                                                                                        pass around at the beginning of         general, but what about the other
                                                                                completely devoid of energy this
                                                                                                                        the year “just in case”. I’m not        half? See, when the teachers get
                                                                                time of year. There is something in
                                                                                                                        saying that you should be               really, really bored in autumn (not
                                                                                the air now, a sense of foreboding.
                                                                                                                        committed or anything just              unlike the majority of their pupils),
                                                                                But with six days of worry-free
                    by Mark Szczepanski ‘04                                                                             because you have a Thirty Years’        they decide to have a little fun at
                                                                                Thanksgiving break to look
                             Editor-in-Chief                                    forward to, what could possibly be
                                                                                                                        War fetish, but yeah…                   the expense of their students.
                                                                                                                           One way or another, we all end       Where else do these hideously
                                                                                the matter? To answer this
                                                                                                                        up back in class in late August.        excruciating projects come from

I
     t’s my senior year at the University of Detroit Jesuit High School         question, we must look to the
    and Academy. Without a doubt, I have experienced several changes                                                    And one way or another, every           save the contorted minds of our
                                                                                dawn of the school year, all the way
    ever since walking up the famed steps that lead up to the main                                                      single teacher in the school starts     professors? They chuckle silently
                                                                                back in September.                      off the year by going over the          at our gaping stares of disbelief
entrance. A fourteen year-old kid who liked to write and investigate                Even the most lethargic of us
now finds himself at the head of the school newspaper, a feat that he                                                   syllabus in great detail. Then, just    and proceed on to the next subject,
                                                                                have to admit that a little bit of      as the bell is about to ring for        the one we will have a test on the
never imagined at the time. A kid who embraced creative thoughts in             order never hurt anyone after
his mind but did not know how to go about thinking more about them                                                      homeroom or whatever, he or she         day the projects are due. The
                                                                                being in a state of such eaxtreme       will slip in something barely           problem is that we’ve let them get
and persuing them now has a relatively decent thought process after             entropy over the summer. The
his first three years at U of D High.                                                                                   audible about some obscure              to close to us… they know how
                                                                                opening of a new school year is         twenty-page group project/report        we operate and are prepared to take
      As editor-in-chief of the Cub News, I have had a responsibility           enticing in a way that is completely
placed upon me, a responsibility that I did not conceive of before this                                                 that’s due the day before               advantage of every tiny flaw in the
                                                                                inexplicable: what is it that draws     Christmas break. We’ve all had          design the stereotypical high
school year. Obviously, I knew that the role of an editor-in-chief was          us so willingly into the crocodile’s
not an easy one; I knew that there would be a lot of responsibility and                                                 those. You know, the ones that you      school student.
                                                                                jaws? No one knows for certain,         could swear on a stack of Bibles,           And so we are given a choice
a lot of pressure. In taking the job, I accepted both the successes and         but there are an awful lot of
the failures that go with the job.                                                                                      Talmuds, and Qu’rans were never         of things to do over break. We may
                                                                                theories floating around. Perhaps       assigned?         Suddenly,      it’s   either thoroughly enjoy our time
   But the scope of my job did not hit me until recently. To my surprise,       the most horrendously isolated of
students seemed to be invigorated at the fact that the first issue was                                                  Thanksgiving and comments not           off, eating turkey to the dinner mint
                                                                                you out there look to the start of      unlike “It’s a good thing you all       point, or waste countless hours at
released, despite the fact that there had been so many problems in its          term as a chance to finally consort
development stages. People who I had never communicated with in                                                         have been working on your               so and so’s house in Grand Rapids
                                                                                with beings outside of your             semester projects. Ha ha… You do        or God knows where else
any way, shape or form came up, gave me a pat on the back, and said,            immediate families. Others may
“Congratulations, man. I really liked the first issue.”                                                                 know, of course, that it’s due in       attempting to get our reports on
                                                                                have realized that, while at school,    less than three weeks and that you      Capital Punishment done for one
     It was in realizing that the scope of my job goes beyond both the          they were temporarily shut off from
publications office and the actual publication of the newspaper that I                                                  have no possible way of getting         sadistic professor or another. Now,
                                                                                the incessant nagging of their          them finished if you haven’t            the logical thing to do is to put the
truly began to discern myself as a leader within the school. In realizing       parents by a wall of solid
that I was, indeed, an important leader within the school, I began to                                                   already been fermenting your            pain off for as long as possible and
                                                                                sandstone. Still others may feel        cheese and collecting the spores        thereby bring one’s hopes of a
think about both my good and bad qualities as a leader.                         that the beginning of school marks
   And this, my fellow Cubs, is the challenge that I present to you: If                                                 for the last two months. Ha ha…         worry-free Turkey Day into
                                                                                the start of a number of fall sports;   Oh, and they are worth a third of       fruition. Perhaps you’ll head
you’re a leader, then act like a leader. If you’re not a leader, then be a      nobody likes wasting countless
leader in your own constructive way.                                                                                    your semester grade. Ha ha.” Of         downtown in the wee hours of the
                                                                                weeks (and dollars) at Total Soccer     course, there’s always one quiet        morning and camp out before the
    I’m not saying that the student leadership at this school is in dire        for nothing. Now, I hate to say this,
straits; certain aspects of student leadership here at U of D have both                                                 kid in the class who smiles proudly     parade starts. Or maybe you’ll
                                                                                but some of you weirdos out there       to himself at the thought of the        head over to Grandma’s house for
their good and bad characteristics. And it is because the potential for         (and I’m not mentioning any
“bad” exists that I challenge leaders to examine themselves more                                                        super intelligent fungus that he’s      some homemade Butterball. This
carefully.
                                                                                names, mainly in case one of your       been cultivating in his sock drawer     is all well and good for the 27th,
                                                                                number is a lot bigger and burlier      for the last month. Probably a big,     but you cannot allow yourselves
     After four years of attending U of D High, students are released           than I am due to non-stop soccer
into the oblivion that is known as the “real world.” Statistics show                                                    burly quiet kid who has it out for      to be enticed by the joy of doing
                                                                                and/or D & D) probably like to start    certain Layout Editors…                 absolutely nothing constructive.
that the “real world” is quite different from what one finds at U of D          school again because you just
Moreover, it shouldn’t require a whole lot of thought in order to see                                                        Anyway, the reason that you        That’s just what the teachers
                                                                                can’t get enough of that                get the feeling that the world is
that the world, in and of itself, stinks. There’s a lot of work to be done.     homework. I’d just like to point out                                            See GREY, page 3
     This is where U of D comes into the picture. Sure, it’s a Catholic
school, and it’s sheltered like any other private instituion. Students          by Luke Rizik ‘07
aren’t always allowed to do whatever they want, whether it be within            Cartoonist                              Walkathon 2003
reason or not. But the school unabashadly promotes the development
of sound, quality leaders within its walls. That’s where you, the student,
come into play.
   Leaders, you were probably chosen because you exhibited qualities
that are prevalent of leaders. Now is the time to reevaluate yourself as
a leader. What is it that you are out to accomplish? Think about what
you want to do, and act on it. Stand up for your ideas and what you
believe in. Be concrete. Always remember that “Men for Others” talk;
it’s about leadership. At U of D, leaders are expected to develop their
skills and qualities as a leader within the “Grad-at-Grad” outline. We
should use that as the basis towards developing leadership.
     For those of you that don’t have the title of a leader – that is no
excuse not to be a leader. After a relatively strong start to my senior
year, I admit that a bit of “senioritis” kicked in for a couple of weeks. A
couple of my best friends, surprisingly, came up to me and told me that
I had fallen into the trap of senioritis. They told me what they saw, and
it shook me up. Since then, I have not only reinvigorated myself as a
leader within the school, but I also renewed my passion to succeed in
the academic program at U of D. You, the student, can lead by getting
good grades. How is this possible? Well, I can say that a lot of what
you learn in terms of subject matter won’t be remembered for the rest                 Joe Gibbs ‘05                       Editorial Staff                           Drew Mast ‘04
of your life. But what you will remember are the work ethics and the
attitude towards responsibility that you developed in completing                      Layout Editor                     Mark Szczepanski ‘04                         News Editor
schoolwork. These are skills not only needed for leadership but they                                                      Editor-in-Chief
are also skills on which to build a solid foundation for a successful life.
So, if you’ve been academically napping, now is the time to wake up.               Evan Eustice ‘05                                                                Bob Buchta ‘66
     The world is calling for leaders; rather, it is in dire need of leaders.                                            Brendan Dudley ‘04
That’s where we, as the students of U of D Jesuit, have to step up to               Photo Editor                                                                     Moderator
the challenges that we face now in addition to future challenges.                                                           Copy Editor
Therefore, it is all the more important that we develop leadership
characteristics now and maintain the integrity of leadership within our           Pete Mareskas ‘06                                                             Andrew Costello ‘04
school.
                                                                                     News Editor                                                                   Sports Editor
    The future is dependent on what is produced today. The world will
always need leaders and people to look to.
     Let’s work on being those leaders for tomorrow – today.
November 25, 2003
Nov                                                                                                                                                                              Page 3

     Reflections: My near-six                                                      Freshmen enjoy first retreat experience
                                                                                   by Robbie Dwight ‘07                  their hands in front of it and make     as I was leaving, I noticed the paper
         years at U of D                                                                     Staff Writer                the paper towel come out,” said
                                                                                                                         Grant. Grant said he spent at least
                                                                                                                                                                 towel dispenser and decided to
                                                                                                                                                                 wash my hands.” There was a long

                                                                                I
                                                                                     t seemed like an ordinary
                                                                                     retreat. We said a prayer,          3 minutes washing his hands and         pause.      Nothing was said.
                           by Tom Sklut ‘04
                                                                                     interviewed another student         drying them just to get to use that     Everyone was realizing that if Grant
                                  Staff Writer
                                                                                and introduced them to the rest of       paper towel dispenser.                  had not told the group about the


S
        o, it’s senior year. Wah-hoo! But don’t get “senioritis” too early                                                                                       “alien” paper towel dispenser, Mr.
                                                                                the group, and then had some                       We all had quite a laugh.
        because there’s still a lot to do. For some, that’s more than others.                                                                                    Carter might not have had his
                                                                                reflection time. It was time to have     But this was not the only
        It’s strange to think that I’ve spent 6 years of my lifetime at U of                                                                                     hands “clean from sin.”
                                                                                lunch. We all sat down, said a           supernatural happening that day.
D. Don’t get me wrong, I’d give my left lung to the place, but still- 6                                                                                                    We all had a laugh and
                                                                                prayer and went up to the lunch          As a joke, I told Garret Carter that
years is a little less than a third of my life!                                                                                                                  went on with the rest of the days’
                                                                                line to get some grub. Grant             there were Bibles hung over the
    “Step into the zone,” and think back to your academy days. Why is                                                                                            activities, which included
                                                                                Lawrence was no where to be              urinals so you could read the Bible
it that I have nightmares of a tall, balding man cruising the hall with a                                                                                        basketball in the gymnasium and
                                                                                found until everyone got back            while you are using the facilities.
baseball bat in hand? Gentlemen, the academy was a time where my                                                                                                 “peacefully reflecting” in the
                                                                                from the lunch line. He sat down         Mr. Carter then proceeded to get
cares were free. Reading “Lord of the Rings” for class and diagramming                                                                                           gardens. The day ended with a
                                                                                and seemed very excited about            up and go to the bathroom and we
sentences on the board. I must be confused. I never remember being                                                                                               prayer and we were then dismissed
                                                                                something that was unbelievable.         didn’t see or hear him for five whole
that small. As I’ve grown so has the class load.                                                                                                                 to the buses to go back to school.
                                                                                He began to ramble about the             minutes. Mr. Carter comes back in
     Those of you taking Mr. Coyne’s “AP-Honors-Bio-for-those-who-                                                                                               That day I learned that aliens are
                                                                                paper-towel dispenser, for it was        fury and exclaims, “Dwight! You
want-to-spend-all-their-time-in-a-book,” I can’t say that I feel for you,                                                                                        watching us when we wash our
                                                                                no ordinary dispenser.He                 are such a liar!” I then asked him
because science was never my thing. Hey, I dissected the pig, which                                                                                              hands and that now Bibles have
                                                                                described the dispenser as if it         why it took him five minutes to
Zach Rittenhouse ’04, and I aptly named “Suave” after the hand soap in                                                                                           free will and have to ability to
                                                                                were the Holy Grail (now Monty           figure out that there were no bibles
Mr. C’s room. And those who had Applied Chemistry last year know                                                                                                 move. And here is something that
                                                                                Python needs a new subject for a         hung over the urinals in the mens
how much “Black Hawk Down,” “Saving Private Ryan,” and “Dances                                                                                                   I want you, the reader, to think
                                                                                movie). Grant was amazed by the          room. He then explained, “Well, I
with Wolves” have to do with chemistry; as “applied” as it may have                                                                                              about. When you use the facilities
                                                                                fact that you waved your hand in         actually used the bathroom and
been.                                                                                                                                                            and don’t wash your hands, not
                                                                                front of the dispenser and               then looked for the Bibles for about
     “Bel-bowling,” and doing HO’s (Mr. Bel’s endearing abbreviation                                                                                             only does God see you, but
                                                                                suddenly the paper towel was             a minute. I couldn’t find them
of Hand Out) rest high on the list of my favorite academic memories.                                                                                             apparently aliens do too...
                                                                                dispersed. “Maybe aliens control         because they were hiding behind
Not that I would ever sleep during his class ... I usually saved that for
                                                                                it and they can see people wave          the urinals or something. Then,
the days when I had to watch Huston Smith videos.
     In some respects, I feel that my time at “The High” has been too           FALL PLAY                                couple, a quality sometimes
short. I only get a year of senior service. I only have a year to be the        From page 1                              lacking in real couples. The high       room clothed in her wedding dress
drum major. I only have another year to spend with underclassmen,               girlfriend immediately decides to        point of the play came with the         and veil. Though the play ends
many of which I’ve gotten to know so well in 5 years here and many              refuse any conversation with me          entrance of Massoula, the               before the wedding, I can bet it
that I haven’t had the privilege to know yet. But in a year, things will        for the rest of the night. Her loss.     wedding planner. Adopting a             went well. After all, how can a
change even more.                                                               Now without any other girls to           French accent and high energy,          ceremony go wrong with such a
     Change sweeps us all up in its tides, pushing us out to sea, but that      distract me, my eyes could adjust        Jillian Bonahoom tackles arguably       beautiful bride? Its the marriage
should never be a bad thing. I’ve seen pop come in and out of the               to the brightness now radiating          the most difficult role of the          we should worry about. As I left
cafeteria- from Coke to Fruitopia, and, now, the beloved Pepsi. The             from Meredith, an interesting            production and delivers the most        the school to go back to my cold,
cycle of life at U of D is constant. In general, an experience at U of D is     contrast to the attire of her family,    enjoyable performance of the play.      cold car, and face my cold, cold
a communal thing of its own. Students experience the same things-               hopelessly stuck in the early 90’s.      She delivers her comedic lines with     girlfriend, I somehow maintained
masses, dances; we witness the school forming around us, and we feel            Spencer plays the cutesy, though         absolute perfection, never once         a smile. If it wasn’t “little Blondie,”
the school changing us. We witness not only the dedication of new               often pout-y Kay quite well. Joe         missing a syllable, giving Martin       it must have been thoughts about
buildings but the atmosphere and mentality of “The High.” There is an           Maccio, playing Kay’s fiancee,           Short, the wedding planner in the       how my distant wedding might
experience like no where else; and I’m sure once you strip down whatever        Buckley, quickly impressed me as         cinematic production of “Father of      mirror the one I just saw, and how
experience you have had the U of D, you will find too that we are all           he flawlessly delivered his lines        the Bride” a run for his money.         I would never get there if I kept
brothers between these hallowed halls.                                          with all the energy of a confused        After more enjoyable antics that        running into cute, little brides-to-
     Thousands of guys have entered through the front doors together            bridegroom-to-be.               One      I’m sure I’ll understand better         be .
and have been impacted by the teachings of St. Ignatius and the Jesuit          improvement to the play would            when I marry, the day of the
tradition of education. As a school, we need to embrace these ideals            definitely be more appearances by        wedding finally comes. Hearts, as
because they are what make the school outstanding and a step above              Maccio. He and Spencer also              well as any smidgen of trust my
the rest. Not only are we educated in these ideals, but we are living           displayed the genuine chemistry          girlfriend had in me, drop as Kay
them out. “Men for Others.” I know it sounds cliche-d, so let me put it         and dynamics of an engaged               enters the stage from an upper
another way. There is a school spirit unlike other college preps. If you
saw one of your classmates getting roughed up by another gentleman
from a less-prestigious all-male school, would you run to his aid, even
if he wasn’t a friend? I think you would. That’s an example of the spirit
                                                                                                New Guys at U of D:
that you are endowed with when you attend U of D. That same mentality
was present 6 years ago and it is still present today.
     I asked myself, “So Tom, how have things actually change if this
                                                                                               Mr. Dan McElgunn, AVC
                                                                                       by Drew Mast ‘04
attitude about U of D is still present?” Well, in my opinion, the spirit has              Managing Editor
only grown stronger. Look at the facts- Enrollment has been the highest

                                                                                M
                                                                                            r. McElgunn ’99 played       student. “It was more of an             AVCs of recent years, which was
in the last four years, rivaling the 1960s, when we had over 1000 guys                      hockey at U of D for         afterthought,” he says, “when I         key – it all helped lead him back to
wandering the halls. Sports events are packed with not only U of D                          three years. So we           was getting ready to graduate from      The High – this time, as a volunteer.
guys but also many, many girls (just another reason to go to upcoming           talked a little hockey.                  college.” The AVC route appealed           He took a lot of art as a student
basketball games). Hey, lets not forget the marching band and their                 You have to be kind of a freak       to him as he was trying to decide       – AP Art at U of D, and various art
improvement! (Editor’s note: This isn’t self-gratification, is it, Tom?         to be a goalie, right? Mr.               what he wanted to “get done,”           classes in college. He also majored
Just kidding ... heh.) There is a sense of pride to be a Cub that has not       McElgunn sits across the table in                                                in a technology-focused liberal
decreased in any small amount but soared to new heights of importance.          the art room, and pauses, not liking                                             arts program, which he appreciated
    Gentlemen, I hope you realize you make history everyday. Though             the question. He was the goalie.                                                 for its educational flexibility and
you may not see it now, we are all becoming men for others by doing the         “I was used to it,” he shrugs, “I                                                customization. He also finds such
little things that make U of D an outstanding school- the Examine of            played goalie since like, fifth, sixth                                           flexibility in the AVC program, he
Conscience, morning Mass, Focus:Hope food deliveries, the giant                 grade.” The team at U of D was                                                   says, which helps. Now he assists
Focus:Hope drive in December, school retreats, extra curricular                 decent, recalls the new AVC; in his                                              Mrs. Mooney in teaching two art
activities, good sportsmanship and many, many other activities. We are          senior year, they broke the state                                                classes, in addition to working in
becoming “Men for Others,” growing together physically, mentally and            ranking for the first time. He also                                              the technology department.
spiritually.                                                                    recalls the hard work. “Hockey was                                                  Things have changed at U of D
     Do not sit back, Cubs. Do not let U of D Jesuit High School and            a year-round thing, man. We were                                                 since Mr. McElgunn was last here.
Academy pass you by like a visually stimulating, yet boring and                 always in the weight room or                                                     He didn’t visit The High while in
ultimately, confusing movie (i.e. The Matrix: Revolutions). Embrace your        playing some kind of game.” Of                                                   college, and notices things are
destiny and embrace the changes of U of D Jesuit because you will               course, being an AVC isn’t always                                                doubly mixed up because, as an
shape the face of things to come. Embrace the traditions and stand with         a cakewalk, either.                                                              AVC, he sees things from a
pride as a Cub.                                                                        AVC stands for Alumni                                                     different perspective. It’s difficult
GREY                                                                            Volunteer Corps. It’s the program                                                to make a direct comparison
from page 2                                                                     at U of D that allows Cub alums to                                               between the school then and the
want. They love to see us squirm       They’re tricksey little blighters,       come back and volunteer at the                                                   school now, because, he says,
at the thought of huge long-term       those teachers, and if you give          school, typically after college,         post-college. He recalls having a       he’s looking from “the other side
projects, but they are really          them a paragraph, they’ll make you       before starting a professional           positive relationship with the AVCs     of the fence.”
hoping that we put everything off      write up a research paper. Don’t         career.                                  at U of D when he was a student;           “It’s a little Twilight Zone-ish,”
until the last minute and go           let the teachers gain the upper             Being an AVC didn’t really occur      he really looked up to some of          reflects McElgunn, “and vaguely
violently insane because of the        hand! Complete those projects            to Mr. McElgunn as a high school         them. He also kept in touch with        familiar.”
pressure to get things done.           before the faculty sees weakness!                          Above: Mr. McElgunn’s rendering of himself. Courtesy of Mr. McElgunn.
       Page 4                                                                                                                                                 November 25, 2003
                                                                                                                                                              Nov

  Cub Cross Country Wraps Up Season
                                                                                                     The Craziness of our
                                                                                                         Craziness
                                                                                                        Present
                                                                                                        Pr esent Media
   by Max Katsarelas ‘07
           Staff Writer                          Michigan International Speedway in
                                                 Brooklyn. The Cubs faired well in the 27

 E
         arlier this month, the Cubs                                      nd
                                                 team field, finishing 22 . Despite the odds,               by Tom Szczesny ‘04
        cross          country           team
                                                 the Cubs ended the season on a good note.                           Staff Writer
        concluded the season in dramatic


                                                                                                   T
 fashion, with great finishes at the Catholic          Overall,the 2003 season was one to                   hese are confusing times.                 original anymore and most just butcher
 League Finals and the State Championship        remember. “The team did outstanding all                   Gone are the days when                     timeless classics. I’m sure Cat Stevens is
 Meet.                                           season long, especially in the big meets,                 Regis Philbin ruled the media world        crying somewhere because of Sheryl Crow.
      The Cubs came in third place at the        like the Regional. It was a great season,”        with an iron fist. His magic touch seemed to       I crave that old time rock and roll; the kind
 Catholic League Finals, trailing only Brother   stated senior captain Tom Szczesny.               decline right along with Tyrone                    of music that just soothes your soul. The
 Rice and Catholic Central, who finished first        Looking ahead to the future, the cross       Willingham’s, and if we cannot depend on           kind of music you could dance around in
 and second, respectively. The Cubs              country team loses a solid core of varsity        the Irish for luck, then what has our world        your underwear too. On second thought, I
 finished with a fine score of 91 points, due    competition in seniors Tom Szczesny,              come to? Judging by what the media                 suppose Christina Aguilera has addressed
 to the performances of Kirk Leonard, who        Andrew Costello, Jon Maten, Jim Grau, and         bombards us with today, not a whole lot.           that problem, but if Risky Business came
 finished ninth and Josh Lisiecki, close         Brian Williams. However, the Cubs return          What an unfortunate reality.                       out today, I could hardly see Tom Cruise
              th                                 varsity runners Josh Lisiecki, Kirk Leonard,          Back when Regis was king, the staple of        bounding around to the melodic tunes of
 behind at 10 .
     The Cubs’ success did not end there, as     Pat Moore, as well as a solid junior and          his empire at least had some educational           Dirty.
 the team pulled out a huge victory at the       senior class that includes Barry Stokes, Peter    value. Who Wants to be a Millionaire not              Maybe the solution lies in refocusing Ted
 Regional Championship meet held at Metro        Nagel, Bob Schnitmann, Tom Dougan, and            only provided all viewers with an excellent        Nugent. You see I recently saw him on a
 Beach Metropark. The Cubs finished with         Brian Lynch. The 2004 will impress many           example of a rhetorical question, but also         cable news network explaining why
 a score of [ ], edging out east-side rivals     critics and spectators alike.                     offered tidbits of totally irrelevant              celebrities like to voice their opinions on
 Grosse Point South ( ) and Grosse Point               “This great group of seniors will be        information and stressed the importance of         political issues. I guess it takes one to know
 North ( ). All regional performances were       missed as well as their constant dedication       befriending smart people. So maybe the             one. The sad thing is that he made as much
 run by Josh Lisiecki, Kirk Leonard, John        and hard work,” commented Moore. “It is           show didn’t accomplish all that much; at           sense as anyone else on that or any other
 Maten, Pat Moore, and Tom Szczesny,             tough when you lose this many runners.            least it answered more questions that it           political show that evening.
 paving the way to a third-consecutive           We need to get others to step up and put in       posed. That’s more than society can                    All debate has been reduced to shouting
 Regional Championship.                          high mileage. The more guys that do this,         currently claim.                                   and baseless arguments but mostly
     Next up was the MHSAA State Meet at         the better we will be.”                                I fear our country is suffering through       shouting. I think Chris Matthews, Bill
                                                                                                   an epidemic of unanswered questions.               O’Reilly, and James Carville have a secret

              Quiz Bowl Review                                                                     There are so many issues, so many
                                                                                                   loudmouth talking heads, and so many
                                                                                                   terrible Third Eye Blind songs that it’s just
                                                                                                                                                      wager going and whoever registers the
                                                                                                                                                      loudest decibel rating on their show in a
                                                                                                                                                      given week wins the prize. They may not all
          by Isaac Elster ‘07                                                                                                                         agree politically, but they still seem to share
                                                                                                   easier to block all this white noise out. Living
                Staff Writer                                                                       in a bubble has its benefits, as long as your      the same motto: when in the presence of
      n the 24th of November, there will be
O     two matches of the Quiz Bowl at our
school. Our school will host the entire Quiz
                                                 spending the day with each person in
                                                 competitions.
                                                        Mr. Roberge says about the last
                                                                                                   neighbor isn’t George Costanza or Kozmo
                                                                                                   Kramer for that matter. However, all we will
                                                                                                   ever breathe in our bubbles is stale air.
                                                                                                                                                      guest capable of actually making a point,
                                                                                                                                                      cut them off mid-sentence until their will to
                                                                                                                                                      live is broken.
Bowl league. That means about one hundred        tournament, “There were four teams, sixteen           Once in a while, it is necessary to inhale           Of course, if this doesn’t work, they
students from different schools will be          guys competing. The low point of this round       all the fresh, invigorating the rest of the        could always make fun of Al Franken. That
appearing at U of D Jesuit High School.          of Quiz Bowl was that the Varsity team only       world has to offer. This means taking stock        seems to be the favorite option for Bill
       Mr. Edward Roberge, one of our            had three people because the other team           of the world around us so that we can              O’Reilly, whose “No Spin Zone,” curiously
counselors and the head of the Quiz Bowl         member was taking SAT tests. We got to            challenge and question. Such a process             enough, seems to send guests and viewers
at our school, explains what this                the playoff round, but did not win because        allows us to discover how television shows         around in circles incessantly. Does the fact
extracurricular activity is. “Quiz Bowl          the other teams had four guys. The high           are given to people for no other reason            Al Franken can actually tell a joke make him
tournaments are academic games.”                 point of this round was that Novice and           other than the fact they are rich. I’m looking     any less qualified to talk about politics? He’s
   “It’s played like Jeopardy. However, the      Junior Varsity won third place, and there         at you Paris and Ally. I wish the list stopped     an educated man and has taught at Harvard,
participants are on different teams, usually     were twenty-four other teams there, so that       there, but it doesn’t. As a matter of fact,        but most people automatically dismiss him
consisting of four or five members. The          was a big accomplishment.                         that’s not even the worst television has to        as a lunatic. Maybe he could benefit from
moderator asks questions from a wide                  “Over-all, the tournament went really        offer.                                             long blonde hair and a few revealing skirts
variety of subjects and the students on the      well. Our freshman did really, really well,             Television orchestrates train wrecks.        like Ann Coulter.
teams have to hurry and figure out the           because their team was competing for the          That is the best way to describe the                     More and more the “Billy Madison
answer before their opponents do,” states        first time. On the other hand, the teams          entertainment being beamed across our              response” seems to be appropriate for these
Mr. Roberge.                                     from public schools have been playing             airwaves today. The question persists, how         shows. The one that goes something like
      He continues, “The purpose of Quiz         forever. This was only the second                 can it be so bad, yet so good at the same          “everyone in this room is dumber for
Bowl is for students to compete against          tournament for our freshman.”                     time? I will freely admit that I watched every     listening to your answer and may God have
others and try to see who can answer                 Tony Accioli, a Quiz Bowl member on           episode of Playmakers and even had a few           mercy on your soul.” Nothing is ever said
questions from wide ranges. This is very         the Novice team, says, “The most fun parts        questions at its conclusion. For instance, is      or answered, yet there are a multitude of
enjoyable to the students who participate.       of the Quiz Bowl tournaments are going            anyone in this “league” taught to tackle?          questions being asked. Michael Moore tried
The competitors see this as a time to have       places, seeing schools, and winning               Latroy Hawkins would probably say no. Or           to respond to a few in his sensational
fun and test their knowledge.”                   competitions. I think we did pretty well in       how much would D.H.’s catheter go for on           Bowling for Columbine, but then was
     Part of Mr. Roberge’s task of heading       the last tournament. We got two trophies.         eBay?                                              showered with boos at the Oscars for
the Quiz Bowl for our school is preparing        We improved a lot since the first                     I will probably never know the answers         voicing some of his other opinions. I guess
the big study guide for the participants. In     tournament.”                                      to these questions, mainly because the             someone forgot to tell him the forum was
the study guide there is information about              Chris Koch, another Quiz Bowl              show will be canceled, but that only adds          closed.
nations’ rulers, political units, capitals,      participant on the Novice team, adds,             to my confusion. As if trying to figure out              It seems this society claims to never
scientists, and William Shakespeare. He          “Another fun part of the Quiz Bowl                where the Olsen twins are going to college         forget, while never truly remembering either.
also supervises the practices, where he and      tournaments is showing that you’re                next year wasn’t hard enough, now I have           We conveniently forget a few founding
the teams review the information and learn       superior at knowledge. Third place is a nice      to determine what’s cooler than being cool.        principles and follow without question. That
strategies to use during tournaments.            improvement, because last round we didn’t         It just never ends. One minute Uncle Jesse         is until it’s too late. Then the answers are
   Mr. Roberge also arranges both levels of      do so well. It’s lots of fun. There are lots of   is educating Stephanie about the merits of         too hard, and so we retreat into the media’s
the competition. The first level of              people to meet.”                                  hard work, then next minute he’s touting           alternate universe. The one where Ryan,
competition is tournaments, which are also            Mr. Roberge says that he wants more          some calling card number. Which begs the           Marissa, Seth, and Summer never fail to
organized by schools like U of M Dearborn        fellows checking out the Quiz Bowl. “I            question, what happened to his rock career?        entertain and all our questions remain
and Hartland High School. The second level       invite guys to come out, compete once or                The music industry could use a good          blissfully open ended.
Mr. Roberge arranges is the Quiz Bowl            twice, practice, and see what we’re about.        man like Uncle Jesse today. Few acts are
league.                                          Some will most likely find it very enjoyable.
   When asked how participants are chosen        For instance, everyone has fun in the cars
to be on our Quiz Bowl team, Mr. Roberge         driving to places. These kids are really          In the December 2003 issue ...
responded that if anyone is interested in        funny. This one guy on the first Quiz Bowl
becoming a member, they are invited to           team could do these hilarious voice
participate. He says there are no cuts yet,      impersonations! You don’t have to be the          ¨ Complete sports update, including
and he would really like to see more guys        best student to step out and join the Quiz
who are interested in joining to come out        Bowl. Remember, nobody knows the                  basketball, hockey, and skiing
and participate.                                 answers to all the questions.”
     When participating in the Quiz Bowl,             So, now that you know what the Quiz          ¨ Christmas-themed content
students are given the opportunity of            Bowl is all about, check it out. The event
getting to know, appreciate, and understand      on the 24th will be a good time to see the        ¨ The Cub: What kind of Cub is it?
their counselor and fellow classmates better.    tournament and tell Mr. Roberge that you’re
The Quiz Bowl members construct better           interested in joining. Or, just tell him now.      ... and more!
relationships with each other while driving      And remember to wish our fellows good
to places like Hartland, Michigan and            luck!