Courtney Love

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Courtney Love Powered By Docstoc
					 Hi, I’m New
     By
Courtney Love




      trabajador45@yahoo.com
      99-199 Lalani Street
      Aiea, Hawaii 96701
FADE IN:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
It’s BELL time. And it’s RATTLING through this cram-packed
hallway...
PUSHING our way in...
"Oh my god, did you tell your mom?"
"She kissed who?" And...
"I got fucking wasted" among the hot topics in this morning
slurry of puerile conversations...
PRINCIPAL AAS
Blonde. Hillaryesque pantsuit. Overkill on the make-up.
Surveilling the MOB. She turns. Saunters back into her
office...SLAMS the door.
But the mob is unphased. In fact, they never even noticed
her. She’s not very popular...
A group of wide-eyed SCHOOLKIDS forms around something...
TIMMY
The schoolkid who got ’fucking wasted’. PUKING. It’s orange.
He’s finished. Then, with the back of his hand, he reaches
up, WIPES his mouth. BELCHES. Walks away laughing...
The mob disperses...
MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS
are read over the PA system. They end.
HALLWAY
Empty. Except for the stagnant river of stuff that Timmy had
in his stomach. What a mess. Then.
at the far end of the hallway. A door CREAKS open. The sign
is out of our sight. But it’s getting closer.
JANITOR’S CLOSET
...The DEJECTED 19 y/o coming out pushing a SQUEAKY mop
bucket is FREDERICK "FREDDY" TANNER.

                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                                2.


Skinny. White. Aimless. His haircut is awful. Freddy.
Freddy. Freddy...
Ipod blasting PUNK.
As he wrestles with the bucket, Principal Aas’ door CREEPS
open ever so slowly and she steps into the hallway...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             ...Frederick?
But he can’t hear her because his Ipod’s BLASTING punk.
She nearly calls his name again. Instead. CLICK. CLICK.
CLICK. CLICK...
...Freddy pushes the overlapping bucket the last few feet to
the vomit slick.
                       FREDDY
                  (sniffs)
             ...I hate this fucking job...
Principal Aas tiptoes up behind Freddy.
HEY!
Principal Aas’s hands are on Freddy’s ASS...
He stiffens. Shocked eyes.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (purrs)
             ...Is this inappropriate?
She releases her kung fu grip on his cheeks.
Freddy. Relaxes. Sort of. Then.
her fingers begin inching their way around his waist...
Until...
Holy shit!
He LUNGES forward. CLIPS the bucket. SLIP. THUD. Right into
the cesspool of STOMACH TRASH.
Disgusted. Freddy snatches out an earpiece. Pitches over.
Plants his hands smack dab in the pool of vomit. Lifts.
Drip. Drip. Life is torment.
Principal Aas looks down at him. See predator.


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               3.


                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             ...Get yourself cleaned up and come
             to my office...
Freddy tries to stand. SLIP. Life-truly-sucks.
Principal Aas turns on heels and walks away...
CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK...
HALLWAY
Freddy’s finally finished mopping. Then.
Just as he’s giving the mop a final wring, a perfectly
manicured finger TAPS him lightly on the shoulder...
FREDDY
turns around. Envisages...
MS. MARIA CALDERON
Flowing black hair. Early twenties. Nice boobs. Her smile is
beautiful. She’s Spanish. Spank me.
Freddy’s jaw hits the floor. Instant amor. Flamenco music
starts. From somewhere... Then.
                        MS. CALDERON
                   (in Spanish)
             Hi.
Freddy -- cat has his tongue.
                        MS. CALDERON
             I’m new.
More silence.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You don’t understand?
She notices the dried WASTE on Freddy’s uniform.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (in English)
             What is that?
                       FREDDY
                  (snaps out of it)
             This...
                  (brushes his uniform)
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              4.


                       FREDDY (cont’d)
             ...Some asshole blew chunks all
             over the floor and I fearlessly
             threw myself into it...
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (laughs)
             That was very brave of you.
Is she flirting?
                       FREDDY
             It’s my job.
                       MS. CALDERON
             That really stinks.
                       FREDDY
             Tell me about it.
                       MS. CALDERON
             What is your name?
                       FREDDY
             I’m Freddy.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I’m Maria. I’m from Madrid.
                       FREDDY
             ...I’m in love...with Madrid...
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (charmed)
             Can you show me where...
                  (re: sheet of paper)
             ...Principal...Aas’ office is?
                       FREDDY
             Is Madrid as beautiful as you are?
Awkward moment.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You’re cute.
She looks around. Nobody.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (points)
             This way...?



                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             5.


                       FREDDY
                  (gone)
             That way...
Ms. Calderon smiles. Begins to walk away...
                       FREDDY
             I can show you...
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (over shoulder)
             No thank you. Adios...
Freddy’s speechless. But he can’t take his eyes off of her
too-awesome-not-to-stare-physique...
Ms. Calderon looks back. Waves.
                        MS. CALDERON
             Gracias.
Freddy just stands there. Frozen. He can’t move. He can’t
speak. He can’t think.

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY
PICTURES.
On the wall. Like wallpaper. The desk. All over. The door.
There too. Funny though, they’re all of Principal Aas. Just
her.
Every one of them.
The door opens. And.
Principal Aas is followed in by Ms. Calderon.
                        MS. CALDERON
             So, this is not a Spanish
             institute?
                        PRINCIPAL AAS
             We recently converted. The entire
             district is facing a budget
             situation.
                        MS. CALDERON
             I see.




                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               6.


                          PRINCIPAL AAS
             Sit.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Thank you.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (smiles)
             Now, why don’t you tell me some
             more about yourself. Mexico always
             has fascinated and frightened me...
                       MS. CALDERON
             I’m from Madrid.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Is that near the border? No wonder
             you traveled all the way here.
                       MS. CALDERON
             No. It’s in Spain.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             ...Oh yes, Spain... I always have
             wanted to run with the bulls...
             They’re such...sexy beasts...
                          MS. CALDERON
             ...Sure.
Principal Aas picks up a file.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             A little light in the experience
             department aren’t we?
                       MS. CALDERON
             I just graduated.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Ah...Fresh meat. You won’t know
             your por from your para when they
             turn you loose.
                       MS. CALDERON
             ...You speak Spanish...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             ...I once had a Latin paramour...
                  (remembering)
             Luis. He was a man in every sense
             of the word...He only knew one word
             of English...

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               7.

The bell SOUNDS off again.
                       MS. CALDERON
             ...I think that I should be going
             to class now...
Ms. Calderon stands. Principal Aas gives her a languid
once-over.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Ms. Calderon, a lot of my boys are
             let’s say...horny as fuck. You
             understand where I’m coming from?
                       MS. CALDERON
             ...I’m not here to teach sex
             education...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (chuckles)
             The last girl sang me that same
             tune... But in the end she said she
             just couldn’t help herself...The
             state’s taking care of her needs
             now...
                       MS. CALDERON
             I’m married.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Guess what?
Ms. Calderon looks. What?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             So was she.
The door opens. Freddy walks in. Stops. Turns and tries to
walk out.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (smoldering)
             Stop. Right. There. Follow the
             sound of my voice. Backwards...
Freddy reluctantly backs up.
Principal Aas is in command. Ms. Calderon is amazed.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Stop. Ms. Calderon. Go to class...
Ms. Calderon stands.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             8.


                       FREDDY
             Ms. Calderon?
                       MS. CALDERON
             I’m the new Spanish teacher.
They share a smile. She exits.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Close the door.
Principal Aas walks around the desk...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (close)
             ...You smell so much better than my
             husband. He never wears anything
             except the scent of repulsion...
They’re nose to nose.
Freddy gulps a knot...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             A year ago this would have gotten
             me thrown in jail.
She pulls him in.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (kisses him full on the lips)
             I’m going to be your cougar...
Freddy cringes.
                       FREDDY
             I have to get back to work.
He tries to walk away but Principal Aas chest bumps him. She
squeezes him in her arms. Get away. But he can’t...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Your father never ran from me...
                  (whispers)
             ...He was the best oral I ever
             had...
With that, Freddy breaks free. Tears out of the door. Bang!
Shut.
                                                          9.


INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
Ms. Calderon is filing through the slop line. Inedible. She
chooses a fruit. Milk. Finds an empty table.
Sits. Peels her fruit. Bites. Bored. She surveys the
cafeteria...
An impromptu eating contest is being exhorted on the other
side of the room...
A "cool guy" has an audience for his mellow guitar solo...
SLOP LINE
Freddy is served up a big GLOB of something RUNNY and WHITE.
Plop. Something GREEN. And a leathery slab of what might be
beef. LUNCH...
A WINNER is announced in the eating contest.
Freddy walks up to the same table Ms. Calderon chose. Sits.
Head down.
Ms. Calderon takes another bite. Something about Freddy
intrigues her...
He shovels some of the glob into mouth...
Ms. Calderon tries to get his attention. Punk’s playing.
Again.
She moves to the seat next to Freddy. There.
                      MS. CALDERON
            What are you listening to?
Freddy still hasn’t looked up.
She pulls one of the earpieces out.
Freddy looks. Heart be still.
                      MS. CALDERON
            What are you listening to?
                      FREDDY
                 (fumbling with Ipod)
            It’s...punk. I like it...
                       MS. CALDERON
            Punk?


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               10.


                       FREDDY
             It’s kind of... It’s ang...
                  (hands her an earpiece)
             Listen.
Ms. Calderon bobs her head a few times. Off beat.
                          MS. CALDERON
             It’s loud.
She gives the earpiece back.
                       FREDDY
             Nobody else likes it either.
Sticks the earpiece back in. Back to his food.
She removes the earpiece again.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Do you have a girlfriend?
Wait.
                       FREDDY
             No. She dumped me again.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Why did she do that?
                       FREDDY
             She said I loved her too much.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I’ve never heard that before. What
             does it mean?
                       FREDDY
             I wish I knew.
                        MS. CALDERON
             And now that you are single? What
             do you do?
                       FREDDY
             I’m in my room a lot. My parents
             don’t like me.
                       MS.CALDERON
             That is very sad.




                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              11.

                       FREDDY
             It’s mutual. I guess I’m not
             exactly what they had in mind.
Ms. Calderon gives Freddy a sorrowful look...Then.
SLAP!
Freddy’s head pitches forward. He clutches the nape of his
neck. Lobstered. Someone walks right in front of us.
Freddy looks up at
TIMMY
LEERING.
                       TIMMY
             What? You gonna do something,
             janitor?
                       FREDDY
             You know, Timmy, one day you’re
             gonna respect me.
                       TIMMY
             Not today, ass wipe. Today you’re
             the biggest loser in the world.
                       FREDDY
             I’m not a loser.
                       TIMMY
             Then what the fuck are you, hershey
             hole?
Freddy is shrinking. Fast.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Excuse me. What is your name?
                       TIMMY
                  (points, laughs)
             You sound funny.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Funny? You want to see something
             funny?
She goes into her purse. Pulls out a compact mirror. Shoves
it in his face.
He cracks an uneasy smile...


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              12.

                       MS. CALDERON
             See? It’s funny, no?
                       TIMMY
                  (pushes the mirror)
             What the fuck’s your problem?
                       FREDDY
             Hey --
Ms. Calderon shushes Freddy.
She’s in Tim’s grill. All the way.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Do you know who I am?
                       TIMMY
             No...Who cares?
A small mob grows larger.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I bet you’re a virgin.
                       TIMMY
             You’re crazy.
                  (turns, appeals to the mob)
             I’ve had sex...
                       MS. CALDERON
             With who? Who did you have sex
             with? Tell us.
                       MOB
             Yeah. Come on, Timmy. Tell us. It
             wasn’t me...
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (raises hand in air)
             I think I know who he’s been having
             sex with...
If they could, Freddy’s eyes would have big red hearts in
them. Like in the cartoons.
                       MOB
             I think she’s got you, Timmy. Tell
             us who it is...
MS. CALDERON begins simulating male masturbation. Short.
Quick. Stroking motions.
The mob goes BANANAS. Pointing. Laughing. Railing Timmy.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              13.

TIMMY
Furious. Upstaged. Fumes away.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I hate assholes too.
She sits down across Freddy.
                       FREDDY
             I could have done that.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Why didn’t you?
                       FREDDY
             I was going to.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I want you to do something with me.
Freddy sits up. Say no more.
                         FREDDY
             Anything.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Go to a movie with me.
                       FREDDY
                  (coughs)
             Yes. Yes, I’d love to sit with you
             in the dark and watch a movie.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (a peck)
             Great. My husband hates movies.
                       FREDDY
             I love movies...
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (laughs)
             You are a very charming guy,
             Freddy.
                       FREDDY
             Where’s your husband?
                       MS. CALDERON
             He’s not with me.
Freddy -- hopeful.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            14.


                       FREDDY
             So are you getting a divorce?
                       MS. CALDERON
             No. But our marriage is farce.
There is a God.
                       FREDDY
             When do you want to do this?
Ms. Calderon smiles. Freddy smiles back.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
CLARK TANNER. 44. Packing. Fast.
VIRGINIA TANNER. 42. Holding up something black and lacy.
                       VIRGINIA
             ...think we’ll need this...?
Clark grabs her. Smooch. Feel. Back to packing.
                       CLARK
             Let’s get outta here while the
             coast is still clear.
                       VIRGINIA
             I feel like we’re in the tenth
             grade again sneaking out like this.
                       CLARK
             You mean the eleventh grade. Right?
             We met in the eleventh grade.
                       VIRGINIA
             Sophomore. Junior. Who kept count?
                       CLARK
             I did. Did you sleep with Charlie?
                       VIRGINIA
             Dear, that was two decades ago.
             I’ve forgotten what it felt like...
Clark picks up Virginia. Tosses her onto the bed.
She squeals. He moves in...
                                                        15.


EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Someone is coming up the walkway. Freddy. Pep in his step.
He enters the house through the front door.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Suburbanites live here. Definitely.
Freddy makes his way to the kitchen. Fridge. Juice.
                      FREDDY
           ...Love orange juice...
                 (chug)
           Brup!
He tosses the spent carton in the sink. Exits.
UPSTAIRS
He hits the top of the stairs. Stops cold. Slowly. Walks
over to the open door. Curious. Sees.
His father’s PALE WHITE ASS PUMPING up and down.
                     VIRGINIA
           ...Take me there, big daddy...
Freddy slams the door.
Short pause.
                     THEM
           Fuck. Freddy!
He walks away smiling.

INT. REAL ESTATE OFFICE - NIGHT
A roomful of identical cubicles.
Ms. Calderon is sitting in front of a young female REAL
ESTATE AGENT. Pensive.
The agent is typing on a keyboard.
                     MS. CALDERON
           Is there a problem?



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               16.


                       AGENT
             No. Just a few more strokes and
             I’ll be there...Got it.
                       MS. CALDERON
             ...Yes?
                        AGENT
                  (looks up)
             I’m sorry.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Where am I supposed to go?
                       AGENT
             I can give you a few nights worth
             of vouchers for a hotel. There’s
             one near the stadium. I just hope
             my boss doesn’t find out.
At another work space is...
THE BOSS
Balding. Pasty. No wonder.
The agent pushes a stack of papers across the desk.
Ms. Calderon reluctantly accepts them.
                        AGENT
                  (sincerely)
             Good luck.
Ms. Calderon collects the papers and exits. Quietly.

INT. CAR - NIGHT
Ms. Calderon’s personal things are everywhere on the seats.
She’s been weeping. She composes herself. Pulls out her cell
phone. Dials.
Waits.
She hangs up. Pulls out a piece of paper. Looks at it.
Contemplates.
                                                      17.


INT. FREDDY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
A phone is RINGING. The shower is running in the background.
A picture of Freddie and his ex-girlfriend sits on a desk.
Freddy picks up the ringing cell phone.
                    FREDDY
          Hi. Is everything alright?
Pause.
                    FREDDY
          We have a guest room. No, it’ll be
          fine. They’ll never know you’re
          here. Pause. You’re welcome.
He beeps the call off. Dazed.

INT. CAR - NIGHT
A smile begins to play across Ms. Calderon’s face. Relief.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Clark and Virginia are dressed and rushing out with their
bags.
                    VIRGINIA
          He won’t know we’re gone for at
          least a week...
                    CLARK
          Let’s go. Let’s go.
They descend the stairs. Get to the door. Virginia stops.
                    VIRGINIA
          Crap. We can’t just leave him,
          Clark.
CLARK
...does a slow burn...
                    CLARK
          Fine. But if he wants a hug I’m not
          doing it.




                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                         18.


                       VIRGINIA
             Agreed.
                  (calls out)
             Freddy...? Freddy we know you’re in
             there. Come out here, dear, we have
             some great news for you...
Freddy’s door swings open. Towel. Wet hair.
                       FREDDY
             Are you guys going to commit
             assisted suicide?
Clark nearly explodes. Virginia stops him.
                       VIRGINIA
             Better. We’re moving out. Isn’t
             that great, dear?
Clark clears his throat.
                       VIRGINIA
             It was your father’s idea.
                        CLARK
             We just need some time to
             ourselves, son. You understand,
             don’t you?
                       FREDDY
                  (okay)
             I love you.
Virginia turns to Clark.
                       VIRGINIA
             He hates us doesn’t he?
                       CLARK
             With a passion. Let’s go.
Clark pulls Virginia out of the door.
                        VIRGINIA
             We’ll put more money into your
             account...
                       CLARK
             That was easy.
Slam!
Wait.
                                                         19.

Two doors BANG shut. An engine CRANKS. Tires SQUEAL.

INT. FREDDY’S ROOM - NIGHT
Cologne. Hair product. Comb. Again. Good enough.
CLOSET
rummaging through hangers of clothes that won’t impress Ms.
Calderon. Idea.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Freddy enters. Goes to the closet. Exits. Clothes in hand.

INT. FREDDY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Nice. A bit over-sized, but nice. He smiles at his
reflection.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Freddy is trying to compose himself on the couch. Shift. Not
yet. Shift. Pause. Shift.
A knock on the door.
Freddy SPRINGS up. Smooths his hair...Paces nervously back
and forth. Make a move...
                    FREDDY
          Okay. The house is empty. So we’re
          going to be alone. Be cool. Pause.
          You can’t. Okay.
Another knock...He stops. Gulp. Opens the door...
FREDDY’S DAYDREAM

EXT. PORCH - NIGHT
Ms. Calderon is standing there, a halo of white light
surrounding her dream girl body. Her long black hair.
Windswept. Her smile. Comely. Clothes. Barely on.
Freddy. Enraptured.
She moves in on Freddy. Combs her fingers through his hair.
Freddy smiles. A puppy dog getting his belly rubbed...

                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              20.

Ms. Calderon holds his face in her hand and moves her face
closer...
                       MS. CALDERON
             On the way over here I was trying
             to think of the perfect way to
             thank you...
                  (kiss)
             ...But I couldn’t think of
             anything...
                  (kiss)
             ...Why don’t you tell me exactly
             what you want me to do...I want you
             so bad...
Ms. Calderon goes all in. Devouring Freddy’s face.
END FREDDY’S DAYDREAM

EXT. PORCH - NIGHT
Freddy has a huge silly grin on his face. Ms. Calderon is
standing there. Bags at her feet. Disheveled. Tired. But
thankful.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Freddy...? Freddy?
She shakes him.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Thank you.
                       FREDDY
                  (gloaming)
             Whatever you say...
Ms. Calderon smiles politely and steps inside. Freddy scoops
up her bags.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Ms. Calderon tours the room. Freddy struggles with the bags.
He drops them.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You have a very nice home.
                       FREDDY
             It’s not mine. It’s my parents’.
             They walked out on me today.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              21.


                       MS. CALDERON
             Where did they walk to?
                       FREDDY
             Nowhere. They drove.
                       MS. CALDERON
             When will they return?
                       FREDDY
             Never. I hope. But knowing my mom,
             it won’t be long before you two
             meet.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Should I be worried?
                       FREDDY
             Yes. She’s a real bitch.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (raises her eyebrows)
             Great. I can’t wait to meet her.
An awkward silence widens the already tense gulf between
them. Ms. Calderon searches for words. Freddy tries not to
do something stupid.
                       FREDDY/MS.CALDERON
                  (together)
             This is weird.
Pause.
They both laugh.
                       FREDDY
             I bet this is the first time you’ve
             ever been forced to live with a
             total stranger, huh?
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (turns away)
             Not really...
Freddy seems to intuit something about Ms. Calderon. But he
doesn’t speak. He racks his mind for a quick response.
                       FREDDY
             I heard that happens sometimes.
             People change. Crazy stuff...



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               22.


                       MS. CALDERON
             I never should have married him. It
             was a big mistake.
                       FREDDY
             Why did you marry him?
Pause.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Food.
                       FREDDY
             What?
                       MS. CALDERON
             He paid my father in livestock and
             milk.
                       FREDDY
             Food is good...I guess.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You see, we are gypsies. For us,
             food is like money. Without it
             there would be no energy for the
             women to make more babies and
             perpetuate our way of life. We’re
             very humble people.
                       FREDDY
             Clearly...Hey, why don’t I take you
             to my room?
Ms. Calderon looks at Freddy for confirmation. Freddie
realizes his mistake.
                       FREDDY
             -- Your room. You’re not going to
             be sleeping with me in my bed. You
             would never do that would you? You
             wanna go now?
                       MS. CALDERON
             I would like that.
Freddy holds on Ms. Calderon for a moment. Too long.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Ready?




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             23.


                       FREDDY
             I hope so...
They exit.

INT. GUEST ROOM - NIGHT
Sparsely decorated. A made bed. Nightstand. Little else.
Freddy enters dropping the bags in a pile on the floor.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (taking it in)
             It’s nice. And you’re sure your
             parents won’t mind?
                       FREDDY
             I don’t think they’ve been in here
             since we moved in.
Ms. Calderon throws herself onto the bed.
                       FREDDY
             How does it feel?
                       MS. CALDERON
             I love it. Get in.
Freddy’s ears perk up.
                          MS. CALDERON
             It’s okay.
Freddy begins to pull his shirt up, but Ms. Calderon throws
him a look.
                       MS. CALDERON
             What are you doing?
                       FREDDY
                  (stops)
             I thought...because that’s how I
             get in the bed. Every night...
                       MS. CALDERON
             Okay. Take it off.
                          FREDDY
             What?




                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            24.


                       MS. CALDERON
             I don’t mind.
Freddy’s eyebrows shoot up. He scrambles his shirt over his
head and turns his back to the bed.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You’re nervous?
                       FREDDY
                  (looks back; smiles)
             You got me.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (sits up)
             Well, it has been a very long and
             frustrating day for me.
                       FREDDY
             Oh, yeah, I’ve gotta get going
             myself. Big night ahead of me.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You are very nice, Freddy. I wish
             every one were just like you.
She tries to hug Freddy. He makes a sharp move and evades
her. Perplexed.
                       MS. CALDERON
             What’s the matter?
                       FREDDY
             Nothing, it’s...a family tradition.
             My parents didn’t hug me before bed
             so I don’t show affection at
             bedtime.
Ms. Calderon drops Freddy a curious look. Then.
Her eyes trail down to where he’s holding his shirt and
catches sight of his BONER. She’s. Stunned. Freddy is
MORTIFIED.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (moves the shirt)
             Is that a family tradition?
Freddy. Beet-faced. Beats a hasty retreat.
                                                      25.


INT. CABIN BEDROOM - DAY
The covers fly up. Clark’s big happy blindfolded face greets
us. He’s alone. But he’s smiling.
VIRGINIA
Appears in the doorway. Catholic schoolgirl. Glass of ice in
hand. Grr...She saunters over to the bed. Snatches the
covers off Clark. Handcuffed. Shirtless.
Virginia delicately places a chunk of ice on the cusp of her
red lips. Sucks. She removes it and trails a slow path
across Clark’s chest. Nipples.
                     CLARK
           I love playing hooky with you...
The ice hits a sensitive spot.
                     CLARK
           Oh God...the pleasure...thank
           you...
Virginia goes lower...

INT. FREDDY’S BEDROOM - DAY
He rambles out of bed. Bonerific. Stumbles to the bathroom.
Door open.

INT. GUEST ROOM - DAY
Ms. Calderon gets out of bed wearing her underwear. Walks
towards the bathroom door.

INT. BATHROOM - DAY
Freddy relaxes into his morning business.
THE OTHER DOOR
opens revealing Freddy, pissing, unaware, going...
MS. CALDERON
gasps under her breath. Then. She starts giggling.
FREDDY


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              26.

Whips around. Live hose. Ms. Calderon slams the door. But
her laughter prevails.
FREDDY
Exasperated. Embarrassed. Slams his door.

INT. CAR - NIGHT
Boom! The passenger door slams as Freddy slides in next to
Ms. Calderon. Besides the music that just started playing.
Silence. Then.
                          FREDDY
             It’s nice.
                          MS. CALDERON
             What?
                       FREDDY
             Your music. I like it.
                       MS. CALDERON
             It’s flamenco. It’s the most
             popular music in Madrid.
                       FREDDY
             I’m sorry you saw my penis.
                        MS. CALDERON
             Don’t be. I’ve seen worse. We
             didn’t always have clothes. But all
             gypsies are related, so it was not
             a problem.
                       FREDDY
                  (ponders)
             So your husband is...
                       MS. CALDERON
             My first cousin. It is why I left
             Madrid. I have to finally break my
             family’s vicious cycle of genetic
             genocide.
                          FREDDY
             Wow.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I want a man with honor and
             integrity. A job and a future. A
             man who is not my blood relative.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            27.


                       FREDDY
             I’m all of that.
                       MS. CALDERON
             And he has to dance flamenco.
Oh. Pause. Then.
                       FREDDY
             I want to dance flamenco.
Ms. Calderon turns to Freddy. A smile begins forming on her
lips...

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY
Red lipstick. TOO MUCH. That pantsuit. Drab. That face.
Don’t look. She prinks in the mirror, as we go out of the
window and into the parking lot.

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Ms. Calderon’s car pulls into a parking stall. Exit. She
waves goodbye. Freddy starts walking towards the building.
A LOUD car pulls into the space next to Ms. Calderon’s car.
Freddy stops and turns around.
TIMMY
gets out of the offending car and approaches Freddy. Without
a word, he grabs Freddy. Lifts. Shakes. Tosses him like a
sack of spuds.
Freddy licks his wounds.
                       TIMMY
             Where’s your mamacita at now?
He stands over Freddy.
                       TIMMY
             Who is?
No answer.
Timmy jabs Freddy.




                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              28.


                        FREDDY
             I am.
                       TIMMY
             You’re what?
                       FREDDY
             I’m the biggest loser on the face
             of the earth. No one could ever be
             worse. I accept my fate and agree
             to be your personal bitch.
Jab.
                        FREDDY
             Forever.
While Timmy gloats, Freddy picks himself up.
                       FREDDY
             Bitch requesting permission to go
             on his loser way, sir.
Timmy reaches out and mushes Freddy to the ground.
                       TIMMY
             Get lost you idiot.
He cackles as he walks away. Proud.

INT. DINGY BAR ROOM - DAY
It’s dusty. It’s wooden. It’s packed. The clock behind the
bar reads 7 AM...Pictures of flamenco dancers adorn the
walls...
Sitting in the middle of the room is...
SAN MIGUEL DE SOUZA DE JESUS DE CALDERON
a man of about thirty years, greasy black Steven Seagal
ponytail, day’s old growth, wiry. Sipping sangria.
From his lips we focus more on the room. Several male
CUSTOMERS are lounging and playing pool.
San Miguel slams his glass down on the table.
The following is spoken in Spanish.




                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               29.


                         SAN MIGUEL
             One more.
The room cheers and swamps his table; empty glasses ready.
A pretty young waitress delivers a pitcher of sangria. San
Miguel pours for everyone until the pitcher is empty.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Who will help San Miguel pay for
             our good time?
Everyone simultaneously huddles over their glasses and
retreats.
                       SAN MIGUEL
                  (reaches into pocket)
             That’s what friends are for.
He tears off a few bills and pays the waitress. At that very
moment another sketchy-looking MAN sits down.
                       MAN
             I found her.
He hands San Miguel a white slip of paper.
                       SAN MIGUEL
                  (springs up)
             Let’s go.
                       MAN
             Not so fast there, Casanova. She’s
             in America.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             America? You mean the land of the
             free and the home of John Wayne?
                       MAN
             Yes. Where the buffalo roam free
             and the streets are made of solid
             gold.
                       SAN MIGUEL
                  (struck)
             I don’t want to lose my wife to an
             American broke back...
He starts blubbering in his sangria.




                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              30.


                       MAN
             Pull yourself together. You are a
             gypsy. Gypsies don’t cry, we get
             even. Didn’t you learn anything
             from the greatest gypsy who ever
             lived?
                       SAN MIGUEL
                  (into the distance)
             ...Mickey O’Neil...
The man leaves as abruptly as he showed up.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             You’re right. But, if I find
             another man anywhere near
             her...Pause. I will break his back.
San Miguel searches around for affirmation. There is none.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Freddy pokes his head around the corner. Looking. Nervous.
All clear. He emerges from his hiding spot and walks down
the hallway.
JANITOR’S CLOSET
Freddy opens the door. One more look around. He’s in.
THE LIGHT flips on, but it’s not Freddy’s hand that did it.
A long, gnarled finger leads us up to Principal Aas’s
sketchy smile.
Freddy tries to bolt but she grabs him by his hair and reels
him in. Struggling. Help me...
The light goes out. Kissing. Moaning. Sobbing...
FREDDY
breaks out of the closet. Clothes messed up. Wild hair.
Bright red lipstick all over his face. He slams the door and
takes off running.
A second later, Principal Aas emerges. Satisfied. Adjusts.
Wipes a smudge from her mouth.
CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK...
                                                         31.

EXT. MADRID AIRPORT - DAY
A busted down rattle trap of a car hauling a trailer pulls
up to the curb. A cloud of exhaust seeps out of the muffler.
SAN MIGUEL
steps out of the car. Proud. Chest out. Track suit. Denim
jacket. DVD. Black shoes in his hand. Before he can close
the door, the car and trailer speed off.

INT. CHECK-IN COUNTER - DAY
A scruffy AGENT pulls, taps, envelopes and hands a ticket to
San Miguel.
                       AGENT
                  (in Spanish)
             Your flight doesn’t leave for
             another two hours.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Is there a bar?
                       AGENT
             It’s at the other end of this
             hallway. The beer is cheap.
                        SAN MIGUEL
                  (eyes light up)
             Thank you.
Walks away.

INT. CABIN LIVING ROOM - DAY
Clark is sitting on the couch. TV playing. Drink with a tiny
umbrella. Relaxed.
Virginia bounds in. Drink in hand. Straw. Grass skirt.
Coconut shells. Chiquita banana-girl fruit basket hat.
She swivels her hips in a mock-Tahitian dancer style. Clark
cranes his neck to see the TV.
                       VIRGINIA
             You promised. No distractions.
                       CLARK
             Real quick, honey, I can’t miss
             this.


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              32.

                       VIRGINIA
             Clark, do you see what I’m wearing?
                       CLARK
             You look awesome, honey.
                       VIRGINIA
             Do you really think that I enjoy
             dressing up like Maria Chiquita and
             prancing around with my tits
             stuffed into a pair of plastic
             shells? Lemme answer. No, I don’t.
                       CLARK
             I’m sorry, honey, I just get caught
             up and I can’t snap out of it. It’s
             like...
                  (reacts to TV)
             -- What? Jesus H. Christ! Fifteen
             points? Really? What are you
             assholes doing?
Clark carries on. Virginia. Maxed out. Splash. Turns. Walks.

INT. AIRPORT BAR - DAY
A table full of empties. Cigarette smoke. San Miguel. And. A
pasty, chubby AMERICAN WOMAN. She’s smoking.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             So, what are you doing in Madrid?
                       AMERICAN WOMAN
                  (sauced)
             I came for my sister’s wedding. She
             got married.
                        SAN MIGUEL
             Did you enjoy your stay in our city
             of lovers?
                       AMERICAN WOMAN
             All I did everyday was listen to
             them doing you know what.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Yes. I do know what. But tell me
             anyway...
                       AMERICAN WOMAN
             It’s just like high school. She got
             the hot foreign exchange student,
             and I got left with nothing.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            33.


San Miguel rides up in his chair. Leans in. Grabs her hand.
They lock eyes.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             You don’t have nothing. You have
             San Miguel...
                       AMERICAN WOMAN
             San Miguel...?
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Yes. Come. With me...
They rise together. Exit. Enter. Restroom.

INT. CABIN HALLWAY - DAY
Clark is pounding on the bathroom door.
                       CLARK
             Honey, I’m sorry. I think I we
             should get help.
                       VIRGINIA
             I think you should get a good
             divorce lawyer.
                       CLARK
             I’m a financial adviser. If I don’t
             make them money they don’t make me
             rich. And I can’t afford you.
                       VIRGINIA(OS)
             What?
The door flies open. Water. Clark is soaked. The door slams.
                       VIRGINIA(OS)
             You have until I stop talking to
             leave.
Pause.
                       VIRGINIA(OS)
             I don’t hear you walking.
                       CLARK
             How did we get to this point?
More pounding.
                                                         34.

INT. STALL - DAY
San Miguel and the American woman are going at it hot and
sloppy. Legs entangled. A ball of carnality. Then.
Suddenly. San Miguel pulls away. The American woman; eyes
closed, maintains her pucker. San Miguel backs away. Looks.
Exits.

EXT. STALL - DAY
San Miguel reaches into his shirt and pulls out a tarnished
gold locket. Open. Ms. Calderon. Dressed like a gypsy. San
Miguel presses the picture to his cheek. Buss.
                    SAN MIGUEL
          I’m drunk. Not crazy.
He totters out of the restroom.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Tick. Tick. Tick...Clang-a-lang...! It’s three o’clock
sharp. Seats empty. Stampede.
Fighting the rush is Freddy. A couple of STUDENTS bump into
him.
Ms. Calderon straightens a stack of papers. One floats away.
FREDDY’S FOOT
stops its descent. Ms. Calderon bends over. Cleavage. At the
same time, Freddy stoops down. Face-to-face.
Smile. Closer as they both begin to stand up...
                    MS. CALDERON
          Can I help you with something?
                       FREDDY
          This.
               (raises bottle of cleanser)
          I came to clean your windows.
                    MS. CALDERON
          They look pretty good to me.
                    FREDDY
               (gulp)
          You’re right. They’re perfect.


                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              35.

                        GIRL’S VOICE(OS)
             Don’t be a douche bag.
Whatever magnetism there was between Freddy and Ms. Calderon
has been shattered. It’s JEN. Freddy’s ex-girlfriend. She’s
pretty. And. She’s in the doorway.
JEN
walks in. Up to Freddy. Steps in between. Sniffs at Ms.
Calderon. Turns to Freddy.
                       JEN
             What’s going on here?
                          FREDDY
             Jen. I --
                       JEN
             Yeah. Yeah. Baloney. You were going
             to kiss. I saw you.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Hi. I’m --
                       JEN
             Save it. I know who you are.
                          MS. CALDERON
             You do?
                       JEN
             The whole school knows you’re the
             slut who’s boinking my ex in his
             parents’ bed.
                          MS. CALDERON
             No.
                       JEN
             Si, senorita. I can’t believe
             you’re two-timing me with a
             Penelope Cruz wanna-be.
                       FREDDY
             I’m not...Hey, you do look like
             Penelope Cruz.
Ms. Calderon smiles politely.
                       JEN
             That’s okay. You can have him. I’ve
             moved on.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              36.


                       TIMMY(OS)
             Step aside little boy. Let a real
             man ride this horse.
                       JEN
             What?
                       TIMMY
             You know what I mean.
                       JEN
             Yeah. That I’m a big hairy animal
             with hooves that dumps poo on the
             ground.
                       FREDDY
             We’re not dating --
                       JEN
             -- No. It’s too late.
With that, she pulls Timmy into her. Their hips are smashed
together. Face suck.
She pulls away; wipes her mouth of Timmy’s saliva. They hook
arms. Walk off.
As they’re leaving, Timmy turns his head back and sticks his
finger in his throat. Yuck.
Freddy looks the way he feels...

INT. CAR - NIGHT
Clark is blubbering. A sad love ballad is playing LOUD. He
murmurs the lyrics. The pain. He switches the station.
More mushy tunes. Resigns. Sings out loud...

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
A few stragglers waiting for their ride. Freddy exits the
building. Head down. Ms. Calderon is right behind him.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Will you stop and listen to me? You
             can’t just give up, Freddy.
                       FREDDY
             Why not? No one will ever love me.
             I’m a social misfit.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              37.


She steps in front of Freddy. Cradles his chin in her palm.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Look at me. You are a man. You have
             balls. Use them.
                       FREDDY
             I don’t know how.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Then I will teach you how.
                         FREDDY
             What? No.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Yes. It will be tough, but it will
             totally change your life.
                       FREDDY
             What about me says Bruce Willis to
             you?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Everything.
Freddy’s stare weighs on her...
                       MS. CALDERON
             Okay, you couldn’t be further from
             him. But we can work on that part.
                       FREDDY
             I not the tough guy, lady killer
             type.
Pause.
                       MS. CALDERON
             If you really want to win
             a woman’s heart. You just have to
             be yourself.
Longer pause.
                       FREDDY
             How are you going to do this?
Ms. Calderon smiles and points to the school’s marquee.
                       MS. CALDERON
             The talent show.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              38.


                       FREDDY
             Sorry. I’m fresh out of talent. In
             fact, I never even had any. So
             sorry...
He tries to walk away but she blocks his path.
                       FREDDY
             You don’t know what you’re asking
             for. They’re a bunch of notoriously
             spoiled assholes and brats. Last
             year? Yeah, no one won. They even
             booed the blind girl.
                       MS. CALDERON
             So you don’t mind being everybody’s
             bitch? Good for you. Adios.
She turns and starts to walk away.
Freddy cogitates quickly. Catches up with her. She faces
Freddy. Their eyes lock. Burning hot passion? Steamy hot
lust?
                       FREDDY
             What’s our talent?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Flamenco...
The BLIND GIRL walks by with a white stick and seeing eye
dog.

INT. ARRIVALS - DAY
San Miguel teeters out of the walkway. Shoes in hand.
Stretch. Breathe. Oh well.

INT. RENTAL CAR COUNTER - DAY
San Miguel hands an ID card to the cashier. She looks. No
emotion.
                       CASHIER
             Sir, do you have a credit card?
                       SAN MIGUEL
             No.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            39.

                       CASHIER
             Then no car. Goodbye.
                          SAN MIGUEL
             No.
                       CASHIER
             See, this is America Mister...De
             Sousa De Jesus De Calderon.
                          SAN MIGUEL
             Very good.
                       CASHIER
             And over here you need a credit
             card in order to rent --
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Basta! I’ll find another way.
San Miguel whirls around and stalks away.
                          CASHIER
             Basta...
The next GUY in line steps up to the counter.
                       GUY
             Wow. Pretty pissed, huh?
                       CASHIER
             Sir? May I help you?
The guy hands over his credit card. Swipe. Receipt. Thank
you.

INT. BLACK SEATS - DAY
A YOUNG TRAVELER. Head slung back. Mouth agape laptop on top
of his lap.
San Miguel slides in next to him. He lifts the laptop and
brings it over to his lap.
THE YOUNG TRAVELER
wakes up. He turns his head to look at San Miguel.
                       YOUNG TRAVELER
             Who are you?
San Miguel readies himself. Then. With a flourish of his
hand.

                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               40.


                       SAN MIGUEL
             I am San Miguel. Do not worry, your
             computer will be purchased by
             someone who really appreciates it.
                         YOUNG TRAVELER
             What?
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Yes. Now go back to sleep.
San Miguel does a Vulcan sleeper grip on the guy’s neck.
Back to sleep.
San Miguel unplugs the laptop and walks away.

EXT. AIRPORT - DAY
San Miguel exits the automatic doors. The guy from the car
rental counter puts out his cigarette and approaches San
Miguel.
                       GUY
             That’s a nice toy you got there.
                         SAN MIGUEL/GUY
             How much?
                       GUY
             One hundred and a ride.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Throw in something to eat.
                       GUY
             Got beef jerky in my bag.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             You’ve got yourself a deal, cowboy.
The guy pulls out a wallet and from it a crisp C-note.
Exchange.
                       GUY
             You wait here. I’ll be right back
             with the car.
Walks inside the terminal. Cell phone. Dial.
                       GUY
             Hello, baby? You are the proud
             owner of your very own illegal
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               41.


                       GUY (cont’d)
             immigrant worker. Pause. I just
             picked him up. Pause. Not yet, but
             he’s a healthy one. Yes, I
             remember. This one’s all yours.
             Pause. You know, we are still
             married.
He removes the phone from his ear and shoves it back in his
pocket.

INT. RENTAL CAR - DAY
We’re driving to elevator music. The guy smiles at San
Miguel. San Miguel smiles back. Nods.
                       GUY
             You’re gonna work out just fine,
             old boy. Hey, what’d you say your
             name was again?
                       SAN MIGUEL
             I am San Miguel.
                       GUY
             Right, right, right, San Gabriel...
                       SAN MIGUEL
             How much longer?
                       GUY
             Oh, we’ll be home in no time. You
             just sit back there and relax.
             While you still can...
The guy laughs as the rental car enters the darkness.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Ms. Calderon’s car pulls up to the curb. They get out.
                       FREDDY
             I’m starving.
                       MS. CALDERON
             So am I. How about I cook us
             dinner? We can light candles and
             watch movies after. It’ll be like
             our first date.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             42.


                       FREDDY
             First date? We’re going on our
             first date...
                        MS. CALDERON
             It’s just my special way of saying
             thank you.
Ms. Calderon walks ahead of Freddy.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (over shoulder)
             I hope you like paella...
                       FREDDY
             I’ve never heard of it, but I
             already love it.
Ms. Calderon disappears inside the house.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Clark climbs out of his bedroom window onto the ledge. He
sits. Pulls out a baggie and whips out a half-smoked doobie.
Fire. Inhale. Smoke. Again. Cough...
THROUGH THE WINDOW
we see Ms. Calderon walk past the door. Stops momentarily.
Smells the air. Shrugs. Walks.

INT. GUEST ROOM - NIGHT
Ms. Calderon drops her bag on the floor and begins
undressing. But something attracts her attention...She walks
over to the window. Open. Look this way. Nothing. That
way...
CLARK
taking a deep toke. Then. He looks and sees Ms. Calderon.
Exhale. Fan, fan...
Ms. Calderon retreats inside.
                       CLARK
                  (really high)
             Who are you?



                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              43.


                       MS. CALDERON
                  (sticks head back out)
             Maria.
                       CLARK
             Hi, Maria, I’m Clark. Would you
             like to get high with me?
                       MS. CALDERON
             I can’t. I have class in the
             morning?
                       CLARK
             Are you one of Freddy’s girlfriend?
             I always knew my boy had it in him.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You must be Freddy’s father.
                       CLARK
             Si, senorita...
                          MS. CALDERON
             Thank you.
                       CLARK
             Personally, I’m not that impressed
             by him.
                       MS. CALDERON
             No, I mean for letting me live
             here. Freddy said that you would be
             okay with it.
                       CLARK
             ...Whatever my son says goes...
FREDDY’S HEAD
pokes out of his window. He looks both ways. Then back to
Ms. Calderon.
                       FREDDY
             You’ve met.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Your father was telling me how much
             he really loves and respects you.
                       FREDDY
             Must be the THC. Dad, where’s your
             wife?


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              44.


                       CLARK
             She stayed at the cabin. I think
             she’s going to dump me.
                       FREDDY
             That sucks, dad. But I’m sure Mrs.
             O’Brien will be happy to hear that.
                       CLARK
             You know about her?
                       FREDDY
             So does mom. And the neighbors --
             including her husband.
                        CLARK
                   (the doobie)
             Wow. I’m gonna need a lot more of
             this.
                          FREDDY
             Yeah, dad.
Freddy’s head disappears.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Adios.
                          CLARK
             Hi.
Ms. Calderon’s head disappears.

EXT. FRONT DOOR - NIGHT
A big, tooth-bearing, overly-happy-to-see-you smile
plastered on the ecstatic face of the guy’s WIFE.
                       WIFE
             You’re home. Oh, I have been
             waiting for this for so long.
Pause.
The guy steps inside and disappears.
The wife yanks San Miguel inside. Door slams.
                       WIFE
             Where you from, handsome?



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              45.


                       SAN MIGUEL
             Spain.
Wife -- orgasm. Fawning. DUKE the dog comes over and noses
San Miguel.
                       WIFE
             I’ve never been with an exotic man.
             My husband’s from Pennsylvania for
             most folks that’s exotic enough.
Pause.
                       WIFE
                  (quick look)
             He’s Amish.
Measures an inch with her two fingers. Shakes her head.
San Miguel’s eyebrows spike.
                       WIFE
             Tell me about it.
                       GUY(OS)
             I bet you’d like something to eat,
             wouldn’t you? You’re gonna need it
             come morning time.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             What do you have?
PLOP. A heaping plate of fried animal entrails and rice hits
the table. San Miguel nearly gags. Then.
He eats a spoonful of those disgusting, fried animal organs.
The wife gives a satisfied look and starts to walk away. But
she stops.
                       WIFE
             Dessert will be waiting...
She exits.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             What is this? You promised me that
             you would take me to my wife.
The guy approaches San Miguel from behind. He slips a length
of rope over San Miguel’s chest. Cinch. Uhguh!



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              46.


                       SAN MIGUEL
             What is this? You promised me that
             you would take me to my wife.
                       GUY
             Well, it appears that I meant my
             wife and not yours now don’t it?
He continues lashing San Miguel to the chair. Laughing.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Steaming hot PAELLA.
Ms. Calderon scoops healthy portions onto their plates.
Clark looks on in a marijuana-munchies induced daze. He digs
in right away.
Freddy stares. Ms. Calderon too. Clark doesn’t notice as he
shovels the paella into his mouth.
                       CLARK
             Yeah. Oh yeah. Hey who needs an
             American woman with her casserole
             when there’s paella?
                       FREDDY
             Dad. She’s married.
                        CLARK
             So am I.
He grabs her hand.
                       CLARK
             It’ll be just you, me and your
             paella...
                       MS. CALDERON
             Interesting.
Holds his empty plate out.
                       FREDDY
             I would tell you how embarrassed I
             am, but I’ve seen this act before.
             He’ll sleep it off and in the
             morning he won’t remember anything.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            47.


                       MS. CALDERON
             Are you sure?
                       CLARK
             More please.
Scoop.
                       FREDDY
             Absolutely.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Do you like it?
                       FREDDY
             It’s the best meal I’ve had in my
             life.
                       MS. CALDERON
             That makes me happy.
She leans over and plants a kiss on Freddy’s cheek. But when
they pull away, something is different. Then.
They pull away. Clark doesn’t notice because his face is in
his plate.
                       FREDDY
             You’re married.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (overlapping)
             I’m married.
Clark downs the glass of wine in front of him.
                         CLARK
             Me too...
Freddy and Ms. Calderon share a look.

INT. FARM HOUSE - NIGHT
San Miguel is struggling with his confines.
A CANDLE
left burning on the table catches his eye. He stands, turns
around and falls. Grimace. Then. Duke walks in and starts
tugging on the rope.



                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              48.


                       SAN MIGUEL
             That’s a good doggie. Pull it. Come
             on, doggie. You can do it.
One last tug and he’s free. San Miguel scrambles for the
door. Exits. A second later he returns and grabs a set of
car keys.
THE RENTAL CAR
cranks up. Flying dirt.
The forty-something y.o. guy and his wife run outside. The
guy has a rifle. Aim.
                       FORTY-SOMETHING Y.O. GUY
             Ah hell, it’s rented anyway.
He lowers the rifle. Hugs his wife.
                       FORTY-SOMETHING Y.O. GUY
             I’m sorry, baby. I’ll try again in
             about a week. Give the scene some
             time to cool off.
As they turn to walk away.
                        FORTY-SOMETHING Y.O. GUY
             Don’t worry. You’ve still got your
             old man...
                          WIFE
             Whoopee...
The forty-something y.o. guy squeezes her ass as they
re-enter the house.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
CASTANETS. SHAKING. FAST.
We back up to avoid the pair of hips shimmying our way. By
the MUSIC in our ears we’re enjoying the flamenco.
Ms. Calderon STRUTS across the couch-cleared floor. Freddy
watches in fear and wonderment.
Shake. Rattle. Hip roll. Hair whip. Change direction.
Sequined bustier. Sheer stockings. Heels. Oh man.
If desire were a look, Freddy would be a prime example.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               49.


                        FREDDY
             Nice.
Ms. Calderon swoops back in. Castanets. Shake. Freddy
follows like a cat and a piece of string.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Dance with me.
She courts Freddy with her hands. He falls in step. Then.
THUNK
Freddy just tripped himself. Ms. Calderon helps him. Laughs.
                       MS. CALDERON
             It takes time. You have to let it
             get into your body. Let it pulsate
             through your veins until you can no
             longer resist and your body no
             longer belongs to you.
                       FREDDY
             How will I know when that happens?
                       MS. CALDERON
             When you feel your body reach the
             climax and you can’t hold yourself
             back...then...
                        FREDDY
             Then...?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Then you will know the feeling of
             passion that I yearn for...Do you
             want that...?
                        FREDDY
             Yes...
Ms. Calderon shoves the castanets into his hands.
                        MS. CALDERON
             Dance.
Freddy hesitates, but reluctantly starts to move his body.
Stiffly.
                       MS. CALDERON
             More. Looser. Find your inner sex
             god and free him. You have to want
             it.

                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               50.


Freddy concentrates on his steps as Ms. Calderon barks
instructions a la Debbie Allen in Fame as they dance.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Thrust. Step. Shake. Again...
The music rises.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
In the dark.
Jen, followed by Timmy, tiptoes along the side house to
A WINDOW
where she sees Freddy dancing with Ms. Calderon.
                       TIMMY
             Why do even care? He’s the worst
             mistake you ever made.
                       JEN
             I don’t care, he’s still my worst
             mistake. So that means that Mrs.
             Slutty European Bitch keeps her
             slutty European hands off him.
JEN
Angry. Turns around.
TIMMY
swoops in and tries to kiss her. Jen mushes his face.
                       JEN
             No, you douche bag, your breath
             reaks of Old Milwaukee and vomit.
Jen stalks off. Timmy hesitates in the window for a moment.
                        JEN
             Come on!
Timmy takes off.
                                                        51.


INT. RENTAL CAR - DAY
San Miguel looks up and sees Ms. Calderon in the car next to
him, but she doesn’t see him.
GREEN
She pulls away from the light. San Miguel follows.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
Ms. Calderon exits her car. Then Freddy. Trunk. Bag. Freddy
takes it. They walk towards the building.
SAN MIGUEL

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY
Spritz, spritz. Ready for action. She exits the office into
the roving mob of STUDENTS. Shove. Trip. Rap. Smoke. Geeks.
FRONT ENTRANCE
She exits. Cigarette. Smoke. Freddy and Ms. Calderon are
passing by.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Frederick, I’d like to speak with
             you for a moment.
Freddy hands Ms. Calderon the bag and peels off.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (puff)
             I’m aware of what’s going on, and
             it infuriates me.
                       FREDDY
             There’s nothing going on.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (puff)
             Listen kid, I’m gonna give you some
             advice that will benefit you long
             after your infatuation with me
             ends...
                          FREDDY
             I’m not...



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              52.


                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Stop lying, you suck at it.
                          FREDDY
             I’m not --
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             She’s drop dead gorgeous. How can I
             compete with that? Oh, but there
             once was a time when the lady
             before you was fucking hot.
             Yes...the men all...paused when I
             walked into the room...I had the
             pick of the litter. And you were
             all the man I ever needed...Luis.
FREDDY
Dumbstruck. And. Speechless.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (carrying on)
             ...you would never allow my love to
             go unrequited and cast me aside
             when something newer and tighter
             with less miles comes tramping
             along...
Freddy ducks inside.
THE RENTAL CAR
rolls through the school’s parking lot.
Ms. Calderon retrieves her bag from the trunk, and when she
turns around sees a denim jacket. Then.
SAN MIGUEL
Smiling.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Are you happy to see me?
Ms. Calderon tries to walk         past him.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Go home.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             I am happy to see you.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             53.


                       MS. CALDERON
             You’re not going yet.
She punches him in the gut.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             You’re coming back to Madrid with
             me.
                         MS. CALDERON
             I won’t.
                         SAN MIGUEL
             You will.
                         MS. CALDERON
             Leave.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             At once. Wait. No. We’re married.
                       MS. CALDERON
             We were married by a gypsy priest.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             He is ordained.
                         MS. CALDERON
             By who?
                       SAN MIGUEL
             By the gypsies.
                       MS. CALDERON
             We can’t be married.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Why not? Don’t you love me?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Yes, of course I do, you’re my
             cousin.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Then, what is the problem?
                       MS. CALDERON
             We’re cousins.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Again, I ask you, what is the
             problem?


                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            54.


With that, Ms. Calderon scoops up her bag and walks away.
San Miguel catches up with her and spins her around.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             I brought your favorite movie.
                       MS. CALDERON
             If you don’t leave now I’ll call
             security.
                       SAN MIGUEL
                  (in Spanish)
             You are my destiny...
At that same moment Jen is walking across the campus and
spots them.
JEN’S VIEW
San Miguel peppers Ms. Calderon with kisses.
Jen’s eyes become slits. Shit-eating grin. Struts away.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
FREDDY
is on his knees. Ipod. GLOVES. Abrasive. Brush. Working.
Then.
JEN
walks in with that same shit-eating grin wiped across her
face. Yanks an earpiece. The Ipod crashes. Freddy can’t
believe it. Jen doesn’t care.
                       JEN
             Hey, discharge, I just saw your
             little Spanish fly prostituting
             herself to a guy who looks better
             than you.
                        FREDDY
             Go away.
                       JEN
             They kissed. On the lips. Oh, and
             grab ass.
Freddy stops and considers this.



                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               55.

                         FREDDY
             Grab ass?
                       JEN
             Both cheeks.
More consideration.
                       FREDDY
             That’s two more than me...
                       JEN
             And then he grabbed hers...
Freddy looks hurt. Jen loves it.
                       JEN
             Hey, what are you gonna do? Free
             choice, right?
                       FREDDY
             What am I gonna do? I’m gonna go
             get her. And anybody in my way is
             doomed.
                       JEN
             Wow, that was so hot.
Freddy looks at Jen for a long second. Then.
                       FREDDY
             I really don’t give a shit.
He picks up the Ipod and walks away.

INT. CAR - DAY
DEAD SILENCE.
Ms. Calderon flips on flamenco. Freddy turns it off. They
both look. Look away.
Ms. Calderon finally breaks the silence.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Did you have a bad day?
                       FREDDY
             Not at all. It was the best ever.
THE RENTAL CAR
appears in the rear view mirror. Ms. Calderon notices.

                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               56.


                       FREDDY
             Who was that guy?
                       MS. CALDERON
             That guy? What does this mean?
                       FREDDY
             Look, I just want to know because
             I’m concerned. That’s all.
                       MS. CALDERON
             That is the only reason you asked?
                         FREDDY
             ...Yep...
                       MS. CALDERON
             Not because you really love me and
             you would stop at nothing to make
             sure that no one ever hurt me?
                       FREDDY
             No. Just those things that I said.
Ms. Calderon throws him a look. Freddy stares straight
ahead.
                       MS. CALDERON
             He’s my husband. San Miguel.
                       FREDDY
             What’s he doing here?
                       MS. CALDERON
             He came to take me back home with
             him. According to gypsy law he owns
             me.
                       FREDDY
             He can’t just do that. This is
             America and we have laws against
             that.
                       MS. CALDERON
             He is a gypsy. There is no law that
             he won’t break.
                       FREDDY
             Well, where is he?
She takes a quick look in the rear view mirror.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              57.


                       MS. CALDERON
             About twenty feet away from you.
Freddy looks out of his window at San Miguel’s scowl.

EXT. LEDGE - NIGHT
Clark. Bong. Lighter. Weed.
FRONT WALK
San Miguel hops out of rental car and approaches them. He
shoves Freddy. Freddy backpedals. San Miguel lunges. Ms.
Calderon steps in between.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             So this is your new American
             gigolo. He looks more like mierda.
                       MS. CALDERON
             That means he thinks you’re a piece
             of poop.
                       SAN MIGUEL
                  (pushes Freddy)
             I am going to slice your cojones
             off and feed them to my dog.
                       MS. CALDERON
             He’s going to castrate you and feed
             your --
                       FREDDY
             Somehow I got that part loud and
             clear.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I’ve seen him do it before.
From herein, save for a few obvious instances, San Miguel,
speaks English.
                        SAN MIGUEL
             Why him?
                       MS. CALDERON
             He’s nice. He works. And, oh yeah,
             he likes movies.
San Miguel takes the hit.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              58.


                       MS. CALDERON
             And he likes movies.
San Miguel holds up the DVD.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             I brought these for you...
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (pokes San Miguel)
             He’s not a gypsy.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             So he’s not perfect.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You’re incredibly thick.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Thank you...
Ms. Calderon rolls her eyes and walks towards the house.
Freddy and San Miguel are left. San Miguel comes closer.
Freddy bolts.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Ms. Calderon begins pushing the furniture to the walls. San
Miguel assists her.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             Everyone misses you. Even your dog.
             She cries herself to sleep at night
             since you left.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Nice try. I never had a dog.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             My parents would like to meet you.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You’ve never met your parents.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             True. But I bet if they knew you
             existed they would want to meet
             you.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             59.


                       FREDDY(OS)
             How do I look?
Reverse on Freddy in a full body, nut busting, sequinned
flamenco dancer outfit. Stylish.
MS. CALDERON
is taking in the full view with her hands and eyes.
His hair is groomed. His skin is aglow. He’s confident.
Ready. Freddy looks good.
SAN MIGUEL
walks up to Freddy. Stares at him in the eyes. Tense
moments. Then. He adjusts a few spots on Freddy’s outfit.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             You look marvelous.
Steps aside.
THE MUSIC
builds from a slow crawl to a throbbing rhythm.
FREDDY
never misses a step as Ms. Calderon and San Miguel cheer him
on.
BOOM
the front door KICKS IN and it’s Virginia. Fire brewing.
Sauced. She walks over to Ms. Calderon. Studies her through
hazy eyes. Then San Miguel. Next Freddy.
                       VIRGINIA
             Who are you? And why are you in my
             living room dressed like that?
                       FREDDY
             Mom, it’s me.
                       VIRGINIA
             Frederick? Is that really you? Are
             you coming out?
She immediately starts sobbing and hugging Freddy.




                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               60.


                       VIRGINIA
             Don’t worry, I won’t let them take
             you away from me. It’s just you and
             me against them all. We’ll fight
             until we see the whites in their
             eyes...
...and she keeps on running...
                       MS. CALDERON
             Hello, I’m Maria. It’s nice to meet
             you.
                       FREDDY
             Mom, Maria’s going to be with us
             for a while. I gave her the guest
             bedroom.
                       VIRGINIA
             Why Freddy? Why won’t they just
             leave you alone...? You’re still a
             virgin --
                       FREDDY
             Mom. Mom...why don’t you go
             upstairs and surprise Dad? You two
             are due for some makeup sex.
                       VIRGINIA
             You’re so right.
And she’s off. Teetering.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
It’s dark.
Virginia quietly pushes the door open and enters.
THE BED
is empty.

THE BATHROOM
is empty too.
THE AIR
smells like...
CLARK

                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               61.


On the ledge. Mid-toke.
                       VIRGINIA
                  (calls out)
             Clark?
He drops the gravity bong he was chonging.
THE BONG
falls to the ground igniting a bush next to the house.
THE LEDGE
Virginia is in the window.
                       VIRGINIA
             Get in here.
                       CLARK
             What, honey, it’s just a little
             pot.
                       VIRGINIA
             We’re in crisis mode right now and
             the only contribution you can
             possibly think of making is to sit
             alone in the dark smoking marijuana
             from a gravity bong.
                       CLARK
                  (laughs)
             Ha! You remember the name.
                       VIRGINIA
             Of course I do. Anybody who lived
             within a five block radius of your
             parents’ house knew.
                       CLARK
             Yeah, those were the days.
                       VIRGINIA
             You got anymore?
                       CLARK
                  (unfurls a baggie)
             Who’s your big papi?
                       VIRGINIA
             You’re my big papi...



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            62.


                       CLARK
             And don’t you forget it...
They sink down onto the bed. Laughing.
FLAMES
outside of the window.
CLARK AND VIRGINIA
stop. Sniff the air.
                          CLARK AND VIRGINIA
                     (together)
             Fire!
Like lightning, they bolt from the room. Down the stairs.
Into the living room.
Freddy, Ms. Calderon and San Miguel stand aside as Clark and
Virginia sprint past them.
SIRENS! LIGHTS!
The lawn is littered with FIREMEN. Fire hoses. Ladders.
THE BUSH
is burned to a crisp. But nothing else is.
Clark looks at Virginia. Virginia turns to Freddy. Freddy
turns to the FIRE RESCUE GUY.
                       CLARK
             Thank you very much, officer.
He shakes his head and walks away.
                       FREDDY
             I’ve had enough excitement for
             today. I’m going to bed.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Goodnight.
She walks away. Virginia follows her with her eyes.
                       VIRGINIA
             Does she live here?




                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            63.


                       CLARK
             Shh...It’s all good, honey. I think
             our boy is finally going to get
             some.
                       VIRGINIA
             He deserves it...
Freddy, Ms. Calderon and San Miguel are walking ahead. San
Miguel stops. Then they do.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             You two go ahead. I’ll sleep in the
             car.
                       FREDDY
             Not a chance. Any family of Maria’s
             is my family too.
They shake hands.
San Miguel walks off.
Ms. Calderon steps into Freddy’s embrace.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You called me Maria.
                       FREDDY
             I did?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Yes. You did.
                       FREDDY
             Maria?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Yes?
                       FREDDY
             I love you.
Their eyes meet. Then. Deep. Passionate. Meaningful. Spit
swapping.
In the background, Clark and Virginia look on approvingly.
                                                         64.


INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Freddy and Ms. Calderon are practicing their steps.
San Miguel is sipping what appears to be sangria.
Clark and Virginia look on; arm-in-arm, lovingly.
                    MS. CALDERON
          That’s it...back and feel the music
          in your feet. Move, move, don’t get
          lazy on me...
Freddy does it all with grace and deft footwork. And.
Smiling.
                    FREDDY
          I feel it. All over my body...
                    MS. CALDERON
          Excellent. Keep going.
Then. As if from a gust of wind. The front door blows open.
JEN
barges in and goes right up to Freddy. Sticks him in the
gut. He doubles over.
                    FREDDY
          What is wrong with you?
                    JEN
          I’m going to beat you.
                    FREDDY
          Beat me at what?
                    JEN
          You’re dancing in the talent show,
          right? Well guess who’s been
          working overtime on her singing?
Pause.
A smile begins to slowly crease Freddy’s lips. It grows into
full blown laughter. Then.
MS. CALDERON starts laughing. So too does San Miguel, then
Clark and Virginia...




                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              65.


                       JEN
             I hope you can still laugh after I
             put you to shame.
Laughter. Louder.
Timmy begins to laugh, but Jen whacks him and he quickly
stops.
                       JEN
             You guys are so wrong.
She huffs and blows out of the door as their laughter
continues.

EXT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
Freddy, Ms. Calderon and San Miguel are standing under the
big sign hanging out front.
                       MS. CALDERON
             This is it. If you impress them you
             will be ready to win the talent
             show next week.
                       FREDDY
                  (apprehensively)
             I don’t know about this, dancing in
             the security of my own living room
             is potentially less embarrassing.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You only have one more week before
             the show. Now, get in there and
             dance like a gypsy.
                       FREDDY
             I’m not a gypsy though.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             You can be whatever you want to be
             in your mind...
                       FREDDY
                  (ponders)
             That actually makes a lot of sense,
             San Miguel. I just have to be
             confident in myself.
San Miguel beams. Freddy takes the castanets from Ms.
Calderon. Shoes from San Miguel. Looks at them. Game face
on. Nods. Walks.
                                                      66.

INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
Freddy and Ms. Calderon, in a stoic dancer’s pose. Then. The
music hits our ears and we’re dancing with them. And the
roomful of other DANCING COUPLES.
BACK AND FORTH
they go as the eagle-eyed INSTRUCTOR, full garb, travels
between them.
                    INSTRUCTOR
          Head up. Back straight. Buns tight.
          Noise people, let me hear it.
Their footfalls get   louder.
The instructor circles Freddy. Scrutinizing. Freddy stays in
step with the music.
                    INSTRUCTOR
          Nice form...Keep it up...and stop.
The song that was playing ends. The dancers scatter for
water, seats, air. The instructor comes over to where Freddy
is standing. Ms. Calderon walks over.
                    FREDDY
          So, how was I?
                    INSTRUCTOR
               (in Spanish)
          Not bad...A bit light on your feet,
          but you can be fixed.
                    FREDDY
          So what do you think my chances of
          winning are?
                    INSTRUCTOR
          Winning?
               (he breaks up)
          Win what? You haven’t even broken
          in your shoes and you think you’re
          going to just waltz onstage and
          win? Really?
Ms. Calderon and San Miguel walk up.
                    INSTRUCTOR
               (smiles)
          Well, you can do it. Just believe
          in yourself, Freddy. Believe...!


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               67.


                          FREDDY
             Thank you.
He hugs the instructor who seems to enjoy the moment longer
than he should. Break. Okay...
Ms. Calderon and San Miguel congratulate Freddy.

EXT. ICE CREAM STORE - DAY
Our three are eating alfresco.
JEN AND TIMMY
see them as they are approaching.
JEN’S HAND
swoops in and knocks Freddy’s ice cream to the ground.
Freddy looks at the mess, then Jen. Jen smiles back.
                        JEN
             I’m not sorry I did that. In fact,
             I enjoyed.
With that she knocks the other two ice creams to the ground.
She and Timmy revel in it.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You know what happens to people
             like you in my country?
                          JEN
             No, what?
                          MS. CALDERON
                     (slap)
             This.
                  (another)
             And this.
Jen tries to escape but Ms. Calderon sticks her foot out and
sends her sprawling. Amusing. And.
Jen is unstable. Timmy steps up. So does San Miguel. Timmy
fades...
                       JEN
             This isn’t your country, it’s
             America, and teachers don’t go
             around abusing their students.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            68.


                       SAN MIGUEL
             You look marvelous.
                        JEN
             Ew, you’re gross and I’m only
             seventeen.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             I don’t see the problem...
                       JEN
             Ugh! I want your ass more than I’ve
             ever wanted anything in my entire
             life.
Suddenly, a manic laugh.
                       JEN
             I’m going to make you cry bitch...
Freddy leans into her ear.
                       FREDDY
             You’re the only psycho bitch I hear
             crying...
                       JEN
             You never loved me.
She retreats in tears.
                       TIMMY
             She’s been practicing.
He follows her.

INT. FREDDY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Black as the night is dark. 12:00 is the hour on the LED.
Light music comes from somewhere.
Under the pale moonlight, Freddy rolls over and kisses Ms.
Calderon. Their desire grows. Sheets are pulled. Moans are
heard. Pillows get crushed, and
SAN MIGUEL
is silhouetted in the doorway. A lone tear trickles down his
cheek as he turns and disappears into the hallway.
Ms. Calderon kisses Freddy sweetly. Delicately lays her head
on his chest.
                                                        69.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Clark and Virginia. Humping like dogs in heat.

INT. GUEST ROOM - NIGHT
Crying.
SAN MIGUEL
is lying flat on his back staring at the ceiling. Tears
streaming...

INT. GUEST ROOM - DAY
Empty. Except for a note on the bed.
INSERT - THE NOTE, which reads: "I left." San Miguel
A hand picks up the note. Then it is revealed that the hand
belongs to Ms. Calderon. She drops the note. Tears out of
the room.
FREDDY bumps into her coming out.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I have to go.
She blows by Freddy.
                       FREDDY
                  (half turns)
             But the bathroom’s...
He takes off.

EXT. AIRPORT - DAY
They’re running through the airport. Dodging PEOPLE.
Announcements. Pages. Final boarding call for...
Ms. Calderon and Freddy stop in the middle of the throng.
Anywhere?
                       FREDDY
                  (panting)
             He’s not in here. That was the
             whole terminal. Whew, I’m out of
             breath...


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               70.


                         MS. CALDERON
             Let’s go.
She takes off.
                       FREDDY
                  (doesn’t move)
             Right behind you.
Ms. Calderon runs back and pulls Freddy by his arm. He
stumbles into step.

INT. BUS STATION - DAY
That guy’s not him. Him either. Nice bags. Hmm...nope. That
fits on the bus?
Ms. Calderon and Freddy turn to each other.
                       FREDDY/MS. CALDERON
             I give up. We can’t give up.
                        FREDDY
             Maybe he went sightseeing or
             something.
                       MS.CALDERON
             Not San Miguel. He hates sights
             unless, they have breasts on them.
                       FREDDY
             Can’t blame him there...
                       MS. CALDERON
             He’s probably out there all alone
             huddled into a street corner with
             drug addicts and syringes and bad
             hygiene.
                       FREDDY
             We’re in the suburbs.
Ms. Calderon shoots Freddy a look. Takes off.

INT. CELL - DAY
San Miguel gets shoved in by a burly COP. The bars slam. The
lock clacks. TWO INMATES. And.
SAN MIGUEL plops down on the concrete slab against the wall.


                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              71.


                       COP
             You’d better learn some English
             fast, buddy, auto theft is a
             serious offense in this county.
THE TWO INMATES close in on San Miguel.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             I killed someone.
                       BLACK INMATE
             Auto theft? That aint shit. You
             ever shoot a man just to see him
             hop away like a bunny rabbit?
                         SAN MIGUEL
             Si.
                         BLACK INMATE
             See what?
                       WHITE INMATE
             That’s Mexican for yes. I learned
             it the last time I was here.
                       BLACK INMATE
             How would you like to see yourself
             pronounced dead on arrival?
He comes closer. San Miguel. Defiant. But. The black inmate
grabs him by the throat and stands him up.
                       SAN MIGUEL
             ...No thank you...
The black inmate squeezes...then releases his throat.
                       BLACK INMATE
                  (chuckles)
             Don’t kill me.
The black inmate and the white inmate slap five and return
to their corner.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
Ms. Calderon shuffles down the hallway. Checking her watch.
She reaches her classroom. Stops. Composes herself. Goes in.
Empty. Except for.
PRINCIPAL AAS

                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              72.


Sitting. Ass on the edge of the desk. Eyes forward.
Ms. Calderon turns around.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Don’t go there. You’re better than
             that.
Ms. Calderon stops, but doesn’t turn around. Principal Aas
holds her pose.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             You hear those voices, Ms.
             Calderon? You see those thirty five
             smiling faces? See all of those
             seats without somebody’s ass in
             them?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Where are they?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             What do you care? You’ve got your
             trophy.
                       MS. CALDERON
             We have a test today.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (curt)
             They won’t remember a word of this
             crap by the summer. Don’t kid
             yourself.
                       MS. CALDERON
             What a bitch.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             That’s queen bitch to you,
             senorita.
                       MS. CALDERON
                  (sarcastically)
             Forgive me.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             You think you’re pretty hot shit
             don’t you? Well burn on this,
             Consuelo...
                       MS. CALDERON
             Maria.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              73.


                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             I’m the hottest shit around. And I
             aint goin nowhere...
Ms. Calderon’s eyebrows peek.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             And you can forget about the talent
             show you little office romance
             wrecker. You’re fired.
                         MS. CALDERON
             For what?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Let’s see. You blow into town and
             snake my boy toy. You’re gorgeous.
             And I just don’t like you.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You’re being childish.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Am I now? Am I the one who walked
             into your school and started
             servicing your janitor?
                       MS. CALDERON
             We’re not --
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Come by my office and get your pink
             slip.
                       MS. CALDERON
             I didn’t mean to do anything
             wrong...
Ms. Calderon’s eyes slowly fall and she exits.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             That’s what the last girl said.
Principal Aas pulls out her smokes. Lights one. Deep puff.
Exhale...

INT. POLICE STATION - DAY
The cop steps up to the bars.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              74.


                       COP
             San Miguel De Souza De Jesus...
                       SAN MIGUEL
             De Calderon.
                       COP
             Yeah. Let’s go. Sarge wants to talk
             to you.
He unlocks the cell for San Miguel.

INT. MAIN ROOM - POLICE STATION - DAY
MORE COPS. Doing cop work.
The cop ushers San Miguel to a desk where the SERGEANT is
sitting. Then.
THE FRONT ENTRANCE springs open revealing an excited TUBBY
COP carrying a white box.
                         TUBBY COP
             I got em.
                       SERGEANT
             There you are. Man, I’m starvin
             like Marvin up in here.
He eases the box down on the desk. Slowly opens it. And.
CHOCOLATE ECLAIRES.
                       SERGEANT
             What I tell you, huh? Did I come
             through or did ya boy come through?
Soul brother hugshake. They both grab a donut and bite in.
                        SERGEANT
             See, you get that extra taste
             explosion with these right here.
             Coz, instead of just chocolate or
             only vanilla, you get both...at the
             same time.
                       TUBBY COP
             Yeah, it’s like chocolate meets
             vanilla in your mouth.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               75.

                       SERGEANT
             It’s a beautiful thing...
Then, the sergeant unsnaps his holster and pulls out a
baggie of weed.
                         SERGEANT
             Evidence.
The tubby cop’s mouth falls open. His eyes get wide. A smile
forms...
The sergeant nods...then breaks into the cabbage patch
dance. The tubby cop does the running man, which he segues
perfectly in to the smack-that-ass dance...
SAN MIGUEL
recognizes his chance and heads for the door. He has it half
way open. Then.
                       TUBBY COP
                  (points his donut)
             Hey, where do you think you’re
             going?
San Miguel is stuck. Run. An uneasy moment passes. Then.
                         TUBBY COP
             Here.
                  (re: donut)
             A little something for the road.
San Miguel grabs the donut and darts out of the jail.
The cop looks up from the papers. Looks around. Shrugs.
Drops the papers. Palms a donut. Walks away.
                       TUBBY COP
             What was he in for?
                       SERGEANT
             Grand theft auto.
Pause.
                       SERGEANT
             You think chief’s gonna be pissed?
                       TUBBY COP
             Really pissed. You’ll probably get
             fired and have to make your living
             panhandling on the corner --


                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             76.

                       SERGEANT
             Yeah, he’s a bitch.
                       TUBBY COP
             True...
                       SERGEANT
             Look, whatever. We got weed and
             donuts. This is every cop’s dream
             right here, man.
                       TUBBY COP
             You rollin?
                       SERGEANT
             I’ll flip you for it.
He quickly covers and flashes his sergeant ARM PATCH with
his hand.
                       SERGEANT
             Oh, looks like I won again. Get to
             rollin, sucka.
The sergeant drops the baggie of weed on the desk.
                       TUBBY COP
                  (smiles)
             Gets me every time...
The sergeant scarfs his donut until it’s gone.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Ms. Calderon is slumped over on the couch.
Virginia walks by in pajamas. She doubles back.
                       VIRGINIA
             Marya, are you feeling okay?
                       MS. CALDERON
             I don’t want to be homeless.
                       VIRGINIA
             That’s a great idea.
                  (tilts head)
             Would you care for a cocktail?
                       MS. CALDERON
             No thanks. I’ll just wait here
             until I die.


                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            77.


                       VIRGINIA
             Well, if you have a change of heart
             just whistle.
Virginia turns and walks off. A few steps. Then.
A whistle.
                       VIRGINIA
             I’ll make that a double...
                          MS. CALDERON(OS)
             Thanks.
THE FRONT DOOR
creeps open to reveal
SAN MIGUEL
slams the door behind him. Walks over to the couch. Sits.
Ms. Calderon looks up.
                       MS. CALDERON
             How many wives do you have?
                          SAN MIGUEL
             Two.
                       MS. CALDERON
             How far did you make it?
                       SAN MIGUEL
             About five miles.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Arrested?
                          SAN MIGUEL
             Si.
                       MS. CALDERON
             How was it?
                          SAN MIGUEL
             I escaped.
                          MS. CALDERON
             Nice.
Silence.
A PHONE RINGS
                                                  78.

Ms. Calderon rummages her purse. Answers.

EXT. LUNCHROOM - DAY
Freddy is on the phone.
                    FREDDY
          Hey, how are you?
                       MS. CALDERON(OS)
          Fine.
Pause.
                    FREDDY
          Where are you?
                    MS. CALDERON
          On the couch. It’s where I’ll be
          until I leave.
                    FREDDY
          Is everything alright?
                    MS. CALDERON
          I found San Miguel.
                    FREDDY
          That’s great.
                    MS. CALDERON
               (overlapping)
          And I got fired.
Freddy waits for a moment.
                    FREDDY
          That’s odd.
                    MS. CALDERON
          So, I’m going back to Atras.
                    FREDDY
          What? You can’t go back. We’re
          practically dating --
                    MS. CALDERON
          You can’t fight your fate.
                    FREDDY
          Why can’t this be your fate?
Long pause.

                                             (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            79.


                       FREDDY
             Look, promise me you won’t make any
             life altering decisions until I get
             there, okay?
                       MS. CALDERON
             Yes. I promise.
                       FREDDY
             I love you.
Longer pause. Then.
                       MS. CALDERON(OS)
             I love you too.
Freddy closes the cell phone and heads down the hallway. On
a mission.
About halfway in, Jen and Timmy turn the corner and enter
the hallway. It’s just them.
Undeterred, Freddy marches forward. Jen and Timmy keep
walking towards him. As they get closer, Timmy cuts Freddy
off. Then.
TIMMY’S VISION
blacks out...when he comes to, Freddy is turning the corner
out of sight.
Jen stoops.
                       JEN
             Fuck that! Get your ass up kick his
             geek ass in.
                       TIMMY
                  (jaw check)
             I don’t think he’s afraid of me
             anymore.
                       JEN
             Apparently not.
Jen ice grills the departing Freddy.
                                                      80.

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY
The door flies open. It’s Freddy. Principal Aas is sitting
at a computer with her back to us.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          I’ve been expecting you.
                    FREDDY
          I want you.
Principal Aas’ ears perk up. In one swift move she’s out of
the chair and in Freddy’s face.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
               (huskily)
          I wasn’t expecting this...I’m not
          wearing any panties.
Freddy nearly gags.
                    FREDDY
          Meet me in five minutes. I need to
          adjust my equipment.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          Are you gonna work me with it?
She trails kisses across his neck. He extracts her from his
body. Exits.
Principal Aas goes over to the computer.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          Your services won’t be needed
          today...
Click. Black screen.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
               (checks self in mirror, fluffs
               boobs)
          You’re every man’s desire...
More primping.

INT. JANITOR’S CLOSET - DAY
Freddy presses the CAMERA function on his digital video
camera. Test. Set.
Just then, the door creaks open.


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            81.


                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Let’s party.
She tears her top open and attacks Freddy. Kissing, groping,
moaning. More of the same. Then.
                       FREDDY
             How bad do you want it?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Don’t play games with my
             emotions...
Freddy pulls back...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Get back over here and shove your
             tongue down my throat.
                       FREDDY
             I want you to do something for
             me...
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
                  (whispers)
             Anything...
                       FREDDY
             I want you to give Maria her job
             back.
Principal Aas freezes. Slowly backs off.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             I see you two already have pet
             names for each other.
                       FREDDY
             Well?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             I don’t believe I’m saying this
             but, I’m sorry, I can’t do that.
                       FREDDY
             I don’t think you have a choice.
He retrieves the video camera. Presses the PLAY button. The
video begins.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             What is that? We have a strict
             policy against those.

                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            82.


She tries to grab the Iphone but he holds on.
                       FREDDY
             Let’s see...who would possibly be
             interested in seeing this...? I
             know, how about the entire student
             body?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             You’re fired.
                       FREDDY
             And you’re busted, so here’s the
             deal. Either you rehire her, or
             this is going viral.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             It only takes one phone call and
             you’re history.
                       FREDDY
             And it only takes one click to make
             you famous. Wanna test me?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Viral, that means...
                       FREDDY
                  (nods)
             Are you ready for that?
Principal Aas ponders this for a few moments.
                        PRINCIPAL AAS
                   (sniffs)
             Fine. She can have her little job
             back.
                       FREDDY
             And?
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             I apologize.
Freddy smiles. Kisses her on the lips. Gooses her. Exits.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             I hate this school.
Buttons up. Exits.
                                                      83.


INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Freddy enters through the front door. Ms. Calderon runs up
to him. They embrace. Kiss. MOS.

INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
Freddy and Ms. Calderon are cheek to cheek. They glide over
the floor in perfect harmony.
This blends into...

INT. SALON - DAY
A hand rakes through Freddy’s hair. Comb. Scissors. Snip.
Snip. Comb...
FREDDY’S NAILS
are being clipped. Cuticles pushed. Face exfoliated. Toes
manicured.
Ms. Calderon looks on from her seat. Smiling.

INT. FABRIC STORE - DAY
Ms. Calderon pays for a length of fabric and other items.

INT. FREDDY’S BEDROOM - DAY
A sewing needle attaches pieces of fabric. Rhinestones are
glued. A belt is fashioned. Castanets are made.

INT. FREDDY’S BEDROOM - DAY
Ms. Calderon gives Freddy the outfit and castanets. Then.
San Miguel enters the room and hands Freddy a pair of shoes.
                    SAN MIGUEL
          When I first saw you I wanted to
          rip your throat out. Now, I want
          you to go out there and fuck them
          all in the ass.
Shake.
                                                      84.


INT. STAGE - NIGHT
Principal Aas is tipsy.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          Before I let the show begin I would
          like to welcome all of our parents
          to Cranbrook High School’s annual
          talent show. Tonight you will be
          treated to the most amazing show on
          earth by --
                    MOB
          Who are you? Get off the stage.
          Show us your talents.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          I am your principal and I will not
          tolerate any of your foolish
          behavior. I have no problem
          whatsoever with expelling whomever
          chooses to be disruptive, on the
          spot. Am I understood?
Whizz...A wad of paper sails past her head. Then another.
Then more.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          I hope you’re quite proud of what
          you have created.
She briskly exits the stage.
MONTAGE - THE TALENT SHOW
- The blind girl sings a song. The mob heckles her.
- A male student performs contortions in a glass box. Gets
stuck. Bronx cheer.
- The "cool" guy plays a melancholy solo on his guitar.
Sporadic applause.
- Jen and Timmy burst onto the stage and break into a dance
routine. The crowd approves.
END MONTAGE
                                                      85.


INT. BACK STAGE - NIGHT
Freddy looks worried.
                    MS. CALDERON
          You’re ready.
                    SAN MIGUEL
          Good luck, amigo.
The instructor steps into the f.g.
                    INSTRUCTOR
          Confidence, Freddy...
                    PRINCIPAL AAS(OS)
          Next up is Freddy Tanner performing
          the flamenco.
                    MS. CALDERON
               (kiss)
          Go get your respect.
Freddy’s chest inflates, his chin goes up, and he walks to
the middle of the curtain and stands there. Waiting. Then.
THE CURTAIN
goes up revealing FREDDY standing there in his new black
dance outfit. Clark and Virginia are in the front row. The
audience grows excited...
BLACK SHOES
tap the stage in very quick succession. Up to
FREDDY
His moves are dynamite. His hair looks great. The audience
is loving it. Life is awesome.
When the song ends, Freddy takes a bow in front of a room
full of raucous students.
IN THE WINGS
Ms. Calderon, San Miguel and the instructor are all smiles.
                                                      86.


INT. STAGE - NIGHT
The eager contestants are lined up across the back of the
stage.
Principal Aas walks onstage from the wings to announce the
winner. The audience hisses and boos at her.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          Shut up you little miscreants. I’ll
          have you eating Spam and rice for
          lunch. In third place...James
          Russell.
The cool guy steps up and accepts her prize.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          In second place we have Amy Lin.
A blind girl reluctantly accepts her prize.
The remaining contestants look at each other nervously.
Freddy and Ms. Calderon clasp hands. Jen glowers at them.
                    PRINCIPAL AAS
          In first place is...
She drops the paper and exits the stage.
The blind girl bends over and scoops it up.
                    BLIND GIRL
          Say my name. Come on please, say my
          name...
She reads...and her smile slowly turns upside down. She
chucks the paper and picks up the microphone.
                    BLIND GIRL
               (rips of dark glasses)
          Four years and you guys couldn’t
          let me win once? Don’t you
          barbarians have any sympathy for
          the handicapped? Fuck it. I’ve had
          it with this stupid school and all
          of you ignorant hillbillies in it.
          I’m done.
The room is stunned into silence.
                    BLIND GIRL
          That’s right people, I can see. I
          could see all along. And this isn’t
                    (MORE)
                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               87.


                       BLIND GIRL (cont’d)
             even my dog. I found him. Get
             lost...
She kicks the dog in the butt. Yelp. It runs away.
                       BLIND GIRL
             I hate you all so much...
She drops the mic and storms off the stage. Complete
silence. Then.
FREDDY
picks up the paper and reads it. His face brightens. He
looks out at his parents. Beaming. The audience applauds.
Ms. Calderon approaches. Quick kiss. Celebration.
                       FREDDY
             We did it. We won.
                       MS. CALDERON
             You won, Freddy.
                       FREDDY
             But you showed me flamenco. Without
             you...
                  (turns to San Miguel)
             ...and you, none of this would have
             happened, and I’d still be getting
             pushed around. You changed my
             life...
                       MS. CALDERON
             I only helped you discover who you
             really are inside. No one has the
             power to make you who you are,
             Freddy. No one.
With that, Freddy hugs her tightly. Then.
Principal Aas walks up and eyes the scene. Stops. Looks at
San Miguel. Smiles.
                       PRINCIPAL AAS
             Hola.
Instantly. San Miguel is at her side.
                       SAN MIGUEL
                  (kisses her hand)
             I don’t speak any English...

                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              88.


Looks deep into her eyes...
                          PRINCIPAL AAS
                     (moment of recognition)
             Luis.
                  (pawing, breathlessly)
             Oh my god, I didn’t think I’d ever
             see you again after our night of
             passion in your mother’s trailer.
             God I’ve missed you so much. I need
             you so bad...
She greedily mouths his neck, ears, face...
                       SAN MIGUEL
             I don’t see any problem with that.
Freddy and Ms. Calderon break. Look. Smile. Walk away
arm-in-arm. Then.
A MAN walks up to San Miguel, taps his shoulder. San Miguel
turns around and sees
DAN AAS, Principal Aas’ husband, walks up and shakes San
Miguel’s hand.
                          DAN
             Thank you.
He pats San Miguel on the back and walks away and they go
back at it.
FREDDY and MS. CALDERON
are walking backstage when, Jen and Timmy confront them.
Timmy pushes Freddy. Freddy takes it. Another push.
                       TIMMY
             Come on, discharge, fight me.
The mob begins to form around them. For a moment, Freddy
looks shaken. Then.
Timmy advances on Freddy. Freddy sidesteps him. Timmy
stumbles past him. Turns. Charge.
FREDDY’S FOOT
catches Timmy as he again sidesteps him. Timmy sprawls on
the floor. Freddy turns his back to walk away. Then.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             89.


                          TIMMY
             That’s it.
He gets up. Huff. Puff. Fist...
Just in the nick of time. Freddy turns around. Stops his
fist. Pulls him in. Head lock.
                       FREDDY
             In case you’re wondering what’s
             going on, don’t. What you’re
             witnessing is the birth of the new
             Frederick Tanner. This is the way
             it’s going to be from now on.
                  (tightens grip)
             Now, you have a choice: I can let
             go and you can walk away. Or, you
             can do something really stupid and
             I will make you hurt. Bad.
                  (tighter)
             Choose.
Timmy’s eyes are about to pop out. His face looks like a
contorted beet. The mob is on his back. Timmy is fading.
Before he goes out, he taps Freddy. Enough
Freddy releases his grip. Timmy gags, holds his throat,
wimpers away.
                       JEN
             What are you doing? I paid you to
             win, not lose and get your ass
             kicked in by the school janitor.
                       MS. CALDERON
             He’s not a janitor.
Pause.
                       MS. CALDERON
             He’s my boyfriend.
Jen turns and burns. Pissed.
The mob heckles.
                       FREDDY
             I’m your boyfriend?
                          MS. CALDERON
             Yes.
They stare into each other’s eyes.

                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              90.


The mob claps and whistles. Clark and Virginia embrace and
smile proudly.
                       CLARK
             I’m proud of you, son.
                       VIRGINIA
             We love you, Freddy. We always
             have.
                       FREDDY
             That’s the first time I’ve ever
             heard you say that. I love you guys
             too.
Family hug. Then. Clark hands Freddy a key ring with two
keys on it. Freddy takes it, but he looks confused.
                       CLARK
             Your mother and I came together --
                       VIRGINIA
             Yes. We did.
Everyone shoots her a look. She looks down.
                       CLARK
             Keys to the cabin. We dedided that
             it’s time you flew the coop. She’s
             all yours now.
Clark hands Freddy a key ring with two keys on it.
                       FREDDY
             You guys are giving me the cabin?
                       CLARK
             It’s time you flew the coop.
Freddy cups the keys. Exhorts. Hugs Clark tight around the
neck. Clark hugs him back.
                       VIRGINIA
             And we also bought you a car.
                       CLARK
             Can’t have you two starting out on
             the wrong foot, now can we?
Freddy looks at the keys again. Looks up. Wide eyed.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             91.


                       FREDDY
             You’re giving me a Mercedes?
                       CLARK
             That part was your mother’s idea.
                       FREDDY
             Thanks, Mom, I love it. But what
             about San Miguel?
SAN MIGUEL
and Principal Aas are still swapping spit and groping each
other.
                       VIRGINIA
             I think he’ll be just fine right
             where he is.
All laugh.

INT. CABIN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Freddy enters the room carrying a bowl of popcorn.
                       FREDDY
             What are we watching?
Ms. Calderon picks up a remote. Point. Play.
                       MS. CALDERON
             Los Tarantos. It’s a gypsy love
             story. Everytime I watch it I make
             a wish that one day I will wake up
             in the arms of the man of my
             dreams.
                       FREDDY
                  (tenderly)
             I hope your dream comes true.
Ms. Calderon looks deep into Freddy’s eyes...
                       MS. CALDERON
             It already has.
Ms. Calderon kisses Freddy on the cheek. Lays her head on
his chest. The movie plays.
Freddy reaches over and turns the light out.
                                                     FADE OUT

                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:   92.