United States of Europe (USE) aka United Europe - Michael Jurgen Garbade

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					United States of Europe (USE) aka United Europe (UE)
An Apocryphal by Michael Jurgen Garbade (MJG)

The United States of Europe is a country situated in the heartland of Europe but claims ownership to myriad islands and territories across the other four continents. On a topographical map, it borders to the north and west with the Atlantic Ocean; to the east with; Russia, to southwest with the North African countries of Morocco, Egypt and Tunisia; and to southeast with; Azerbaijan, Iran, Iraq and Syria. USE is a federal constitutional republic comprising of 38 states and is headed by a President, who is elected every five years to office, while the 38 states are headed by governors chosen every four years to serve. The four largest states are New Germania, Bosporus, L'Hexagone and Union Jack.

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The USE was a seminal founding member of the UN, UN Security Council, NATO, G8 and OECD. In contrast to all members who have only one seat, the USE has two seats on the UN Security Council and four seats on the G8, which ostensibly enunciates its global and economic prowess. It is the country with by all measures either PPP or nominal GDP the largest and strongest economy in the world — the leading economic force and second to none. With a nominal GDP of US$21 trillion, USE accounts for 26% of the world's GDP, while the USA accounts for 18% with its US$14 trillion GDP. 200 of the Global Fortune 500 companies in the world call USE home. USE is the largest exporter and importer of goods in the world and significantly dominates global trade. At 2 million square miles (5.18 million km²), the total size of the USE is half the size of the USA. With circa 620 million citizens more than double of the USA, it is the third most populous nation in the world after China and India. Compared to the USA, states in the USE have far larger populations. English is the national and de facto official language in the USE, albeit in each of the 38 states a unique second official language is spoken.

USE was founded in 1957 by Walker Churchill, who was born in the state of Union Jack. The country celebrates Independence Day on May 8, nevertheless universal suffrage in presidential election was not immediately granted to all 38 states after independence. Astride September 1, 1939 and May 8, 1945 a civil war broke out in the USE, which mutated congenially as a World War to other parts of the world. It evoked the mobilization of over 80 million soldiers, approximately 60 million people died across the globe, chiefly civilians, branding it the most costly war in mankind history. Daring Walker Churchill stoutly led the Allied forces meritoriously to victory against the Axis without ever mollifying his stands. After the war, he ordered a complete gerrymandering of the states in the United States of Europe — some states became bigger, others became smaller. Walker Churchill then established the United States of Europe as a federal constitutional republic encapsulating 38 states and became its first President. In 1957, USE officially changed its currency to 'euro' — colloquially called 'targa'. One thing that the citizens of the USE reckon of the World War is: "Woe betide you — A Molotov and a Ribbentrop should never sign a pact".

Brussels is the capital of the USE. The centers of government are Brussels, Luxemburg and Strasburg. The seven major cities are Istanbul (12.6 million inhabitants), London

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(7.5), Ankara (3.9), Berlin (3.4), Madrid (3.2), Rome (2.7), and Paris (2.1). Nonetheless, there are many other tony cities in USE: Amsterdam, Barcelona, Stockholm, Milan, Zurich, Helsinki, Munich, Copenhagen, Edinburgh, Dublin, Marseille, Dusseldorf, Basel, Vienna, Prague, Warsaw, Lyon, Kiev, Geneva, Antwerp, Manchester, Lisbon, Hamburg, Monaco, Budapest, Thessaloniki, Zagreb and so forth. The most densely populated metropolitan is the Ruhr Valley in the western part of New Germania. It is interesting to note that the state of Bosporus in the USE has a geometric shape akin to the USA. Although L'Hexagone is the largest state by total area, with 82 million people New Germania boasts the largest population, followed by Bosporus with 71 million. There are three different time perimeters in the USE: Union Jack Standard Time (UJST), Continental Standard Time (CST) and Bosporus Standard Time (BST). With 16,854 feet (5,137 meters) above sea level, Mount Ararat in the state of Bosporus is the highest peak in the USE. The climate in the USE ranges from warm summer continental to humid continental. The USE owns the world's longest coastal line — Canada comes second. USE is a sturdy secular nation with no annotations to any religion. Regarding religion, there are Roman Catholics, Protestants, Orthodox, Moslems and Jews. A stark majority of the citizens of USE associate themselves with one religion or the other and believe in a deity, but compared to the USA, I designate the citizens of USE 'light Christians' and 'light Moslems' — a) religion plays no role in national politics or public sphere, b) religion is seen as a private not public affair b) they do not actively practice religion except on special occasions — wedding, childbirth, communion, Christmas, Easter, funerals, calamities, etc.

The incumbent President of the United States of Europe is John Carl Brixton (JCB), the 8th President. In 2006, he was elected to office in a landslide victory with 64% of the 500 million votes cast by the citizens of the USE and was allotted 450 electoral votes. Voting is by law compulsory in the USE for all citizens above 18 years of age. The legislative body, Congress, consists of the Senate and House of Representatives. Each state is represented by two senators in the Senate while the number of representatives per state is divvied up by population ratio. USE Court of Justice in Luxemburg is the Supreme Court. USE is the only country in the world where some states profess civil law while others practice case law.

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The Federal Reserve of the USE is based in Frankfurt, New Germania. The centers of finance are London, Frankfurt, Zurich and Paris. Economic centrality of the euro is underlined by the fact that it is at present the lead currency for global trade and federal bank monetary reserves in all countries in the world, which gives the USE the financial cushion of a benign seigniorage. While the USA boasts a Gini coefficient of circa 46, the USE is at 34.

Currently, the governor of New Germania is Angie Powerlady (AP). Bear in mind that she is the only female governor in whole country. Gordon Tired (GT) is the governor of Union Jack. Erdogan Transformer (ET) is the governor of Bosporus and Sarkozy Dapper Spotlight (SDS) is the governor of L'Hexagone. Gordon Tired, Angie Powerlady, and Erdogan Transformer will all be facing gubenatiorial elections this or next year. It is very likely that Gordon Tired won't survive the next gubernatorial election in Union Jack — he looks tired and worn-out every single day. Erdogan Transformer is expected to easily win the gubernatorial election in Bosporus. For the Bosporaners, he has performed more than expected of him in many areas of government. Angel Powerlady's schicksal is bequeathed to events that will unfold from now untill election day — whether she survives the gubernatorial election this year in New Germania or falls in the abyss. New Germanias are not really impressed by her performance, alas there is no second-best option or serious contender to her. She has become more than the Mother of New Germania and has to put on so many volte-faces to appease the landesfurst of Bavaria and is even sometimes conscripted to vote against her own public policy position. John Carl Brixton (JCB), the President of the United States of Europe will meet Barack Hussein Obama (BHO), the President of the United States of America during the NATO Summit at the beginning of April 2009 in Strasburg and Baden-Baden. Although SDS was not officially invited to the NATO meeting since he is just a governor, he was inivited by JCB to participate. To the merriment of the Heads of State at the NATO meeting, SDS eponymously out of the blue requested to sit next to the right of the NATO General Secretary - on the seat honorly reserved for JCB, the President of the United States of Europe, or else he won't show up.