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As long as I learn, is to know themselves, rather than to educate people; I always
believed that, before teaching others, we must first fully understand their own. -
A person feel that they are the center of attention when others, his mind will be very
decent bloated, forgot arrogant. - Gorky
A person can self-management is very important. Ray Muir Group General Manager
of India, Harvard Business School's MBA, London Business School,
INSEAD business school in Europe, the Swiss International Institute for Management
Development, China Europe International Business School and many other visiting
professor at the Business School, once said Dr Pa Ruike : "Unless you can
manage 'self', or you can not manage anyone or
Pa Ruike this is to understand the development process of management: the
management of the initial concern was "the work through the machine to
increase success and improve the quality of work," followed by
"increased through human achievements, to improve the quality of
work," the focus now should be " how to develop themselves
through work. "
Received two years at Harvard Business School MBA education into the standard
"Harvard product", the Pa Ruike back to India. The first few
years, always with the hope to do more, do better and constantly get
"progress and success," but at the same time, he became more
and more anxious. He found around those capable and successful business people,
including himself, are in great stress and that they confine themselves to narrow the
field of life, is neither healthy nor happy.
Pa Ruike that schools often teach us how to manage other people and things, but lack
of education, how to manage our self. Therefore, this PhD to teach half the time used
to own the world "self-management" programs, he thought one
of the most important is to find yourself.
In Pa Ruike life, he often used to manage their own centralized training. Despite his
flight around the world throughout the year, still can be energetic, peaceful calm. This
may be the benefits of self-management right.
Self-management in the management profession is valued, for children,
self-management is also very important. Children took to the community prior to the
Council for self-management.
Currently, Germany's secondary schools have been set up project
management courses, and is very formal curriculum, the purpose is to help students
better handle their own matters, class matters even teacher-student relationship, life
choices, and so on. Perhaps parents have begun to pay attention to cultivate
children's self-management ability.
As children age, capabilities, scope of activities expanded, he would appreciate the
need to manage themselves, that is, self-management, but many children are too little
experience, lack of self awareness, self-management is often did not. Many parents
want their children to study abroad, but just need a child to study abroad have strong
self-management capabilities. Some experts believe that Chinese students of the
problem is not intelligence but of management. Most students do not
self-management ability, once they left their parents life, he will not be able to
manage their own good.
Tsinghua SEM MBA Office Qian Xiaojun, said: "As a mother of middle
school students, childhood education, I have been loving my child first, second and
responsible. Of course, is to let children learn self-management. My children students
College Entrance Examination this year, also admitted to Tsinghua University, I found
that these children are actually very strong self-management skills of children.
because everyone is 24 hours, the same time, some students learn very easily, but
some children learn very tired, the effect is not good. "
If the parents can train children from childhood to do their own thing their own, their
own things their own control, own their own arrangements for living self-management
practices can enhance the independence of the child action, purpose and planning, the
well-being in later life for children and success is undoubtedly a huge help.
Child's self-management, there is from passive to active, from lower to
higher, never conscious to conscious development. With age and grade increased,
children are constantly improving the level of self-awareness, children's
self-management skills and self-management was also increased. So, as parents, how
to raise children a good self-management habits?
Recommendation one: teach children to learn to manage their own lives.
There is a story like this:
A hunter, hunting, picking up a few new born lion cub, took them home in the
well-fed. This is a few small lion began to grow, their carefree life, eat a drink,
comfortable well-being. Of course, they are in a cage, a cage designed for hunters to
give them is warm and comfortable. Unexpectedly, careless, a little lion from the cage
and run off, hunters around to look did not find. The other few do? Protection is also
being affected.
One day, after hunting the hunters did not come back, get used to being fed and
protected the little lion who finally died of starvation had. The Nazhi then run out of
small lions? It has become a wild lion. It alone in the wild, the hungry, find their own
food to eat; thirsty and find water to drink their own; injured, it learned to use his
tongue to lick wounds; met the enemy, which knows how to protect themselves. It is
this independent, not relying on other people's habits, making it the natural
environment successfully survived.
Can not manage their lives, which is self-management skills in the most important. If
the child can not manage their daily life, it is difficult to imagine that he can manage
other things.
At this point, some foreign parents are doing pretty well.
For example, Koreans prefer weekend family trips. No matter how much a child, even
if only two or three years old, parents will take him. Moreover, the parents will let the
children go their own to take care of themselves. Sometimes children climb tired,
walk, parents are rarely held them, but only on one side so that they rest, and then
went away. Korean parents think that children should exercise an early age living
skills, such children will learn self-management.
China's many parents, often the children looked after carefully to children
often in the "center": throw things, and adults to clean up; dirty
clothes, wash immediately adults. Once such children from their parents can not be
life. Therefore, parents should let go and allow children to practice and learn to gain
experience, self-management skills training. Children usually need to cultivate
self-awareness, for example, allow children to finish off the toys into the closet, pack
bags and other work done after the passage of time, he will learn restraint, control
themselves, form a good self-management habits.
Suggestion II: teaching children learn to manage their own learning.
After the kids go to school, parents should teach their children about school life,
common sense, require that children love and finishing school bags, textbooks,
catalogs, stationery; learn a pencil sharpener, use scissors, pencil sharpeners, erasers
and other tools, and can produce according to the requirements of the teacher simple
teaching aids.
Many parents will complain about: the child is not finishing school bag, backpack,
mess, just like "waste basket", the parents had to help him
organize a day. In fact, the formation of such a child is the main reason for parents to
do everything wrong, failed to cultivate in their children self-management ability.
Therefore, pre-school period, parents make their children their own order books, toys,
pack their bags and household items, in order to cultivate children's
When children enter primary school, the parents should be careful not to do
homework or check the work for children - children should do these things
themselves. Once the parents check the homework help children, the children, not
only do not check the work, but think this is something parents, interest in learning
will be reduced.
Also note that a problem is that when learning and other aspects of a conflict, the
child should be how to deal with. For example, a reading-loving children in
homework and reading areas often clash. Parents to guide children to focus on
homework, on the basis of the job is complete, allow the child to see some of the
content of reading. Another example, if a child is a student leaders, and when
he's learning and work conflict, he how to coordinate these two areas of
conflict? At this time, parents should teach children not to think of a delay in learning,
but also a good way to good student leaders, which is an important aspect of
Recommendation three: let the children learn to manage their own emotions.
In the Eisenhower 10 years old, his parents let his two brothers went hiking in the
Christmas, but strongly disagree with him. Eisenhower was very angry, he rushed
outside, clenched fists pounding in the apple tree. He was crying to beat the one hand,
his fists bloody no sense. Finally, Eisenhower dragged home by his father, but father
did not scold him.
At this time, he painted his mother came to painkillers, and tied with bandages, but
the mother did not comfort him. You Henyou angry Eisenhower went to bed crying
for an hour. Until he was calm, the mother finally came and said to him:
"who can control their emotions than people who can win greater city.
Anger is self-destruction, is useless and needs to take to overcome."
Mother warned engraved in the hearts of Eisenhower. In the 76 years of age,
Eisenhower wrote: "I have been back on it a conversation, as it is my life
one of the most precious moments."
Failing to stop or face unpleasant incidents, the children often show emotional
instability, or Taixidabei, or act in disregard of the consequences of impulsive. The
kids are good at self-management know how the emotions going on, what emotional
experience, how to properly release their emotions and so on.
For example, some children like to curse, swearing. Although they know the curse,
swearing is wrong, every curse, swearing often regret it later, but since has been used
to, so the total can not be brought under control. In view of this situation, parents
should educate their children properly treat the friction with others. Many
children's curse is one of their own hurt feelings catharsis. For example:
things stolen by others, his foot stepped on by others, and so on. Parents should
educate their children in a calm state of mind look at the friction with others, so that
children learn to tolerate other people's fault.
Parents and children can reach an agreement, when the child angry, want to vent, the
parents agreed in advance with a good language, or look implied child, the child
promptly sit down and think, to consider how to express their own meaning of
civilization, to remove uncivilized language habits.
A fiery temper boy, his father in order to help children control their emotions and
behavior, thought of a way.
That day, his father called the boy in front of a wall, told the boy: "My
child, my father know that you temper is not very good, this is not your wish.
However, the curse, a bad temper will affect others. So be it, Starting today, you feel
angry when they have to, posted on the walls in this area icons. "Then, my
father gave the boy a stack of icons.
A week later, the walls really paste a lot of icons. One night, my father pointed to the
wall of the boys said: "My child, you see their bad temper it?"
The boy hung his head, embarrassed. My father said: "From now on, if you
do not temper one day, you tear off an icon from the wall."
The first day, the boy can not hold still made a fire. The next day, the boy did not
actually really angry. This week, the boy three days did not actually angry. A month
later, the icons on the walls were tore up.
That night, my father called the wall again before the child, told the boy:
"Son, now you have learned to control his temper, which is very good. You
see the icon before you angry though is you tore off, However, the icons are still
traces. This shows that after each time you send complete temper, either to others or
to himself will bring everlasting harm. "
Boy ashamed to smile. Since then, the boy rarely lost his temper.
Thus, parents only let their children learn to control their emotions, children can
gradually correct the angry, abusive, swearing bad habits. Of course, let the children
learn to control your emotions, parents need to help children find the appropriate
method of catharsis. Such as: encourage children to happy and unhappy events to tell
their parents or other persons, in order to ease the minds of displeasure; to teach
children not easily reveal their emotions, excited, when the number should be silent in
the mind "one, two, three"; to encourage children to
self-isolation to achieve calm; cultivate children's positive personality and
sense of humor, and so on.
Recommendation 4: Let children learn to control their own behavior.
Held in Beijing International Congress of Psychology, the Australian expert, Dr
Monica Whitty skelly tested a child self-control experiment. Dr. Qu skelly all the
children take the test before the release of the two chocolate, more than one a little. If
the child can tolerate 15 minutes, he can eat more of the dish, otherwise it can only
get a small plate. The results, over 80% of the kids just be patient for a few minutes to
call the experimenter rang the bell asking for chocolate. Dr. Monica Whitty skelly,
through this experiment shows that most children have lost sight of the temptation,
self-control is weak.
Children can not control their behavior is very important. A child without self-control
ability, will act blindly, it is difficult to do a good and its development is closely
related to the matter. For example, a middle school student scores well, but fell in love
with video games, it all day long soak in the video game room, playing video games,
out of control, but behind in his work, educational performance has deteriorated, and
finally each subject is not pass, leading to expulsion from school.
Let children learn to control his behavior, parents should help children build
"may", "no" concept, so clearly what
children can do and what is not done in advance in the mind of a judge right and
wrong good or bad standard, according to this standard, the children can recognize
their behavior is correct, can learn to control themselves.
Parents may wish to adopt rules to guide the development of family members of the
family to comply. For example, before the first knock on the door into the other room;
at night can not go home too late; without the consent of the family can not stay away;
play chess, play the game according to rules determine the winner; says the wrong
thing or the courtesy to apologize when mistakes; Do not interfere with other people
watching TV. Violations should be punished even if the parents consciously, so that
children understand the seriousness of the rules. Of course, the parents rules when
children make it clear why keep up this way, for example, without the consent of the
family and make his family live out their concerns that the child would be better
If the child is reluctant, parents can be the basis of equality and child agreement, the
parents need to meet the educational goals into the child's internal
requirements and conscious action, which is conducive to the formation of the child
self awareness and self-management capabilities to better meet the child in an
increasingly competitive society. In short, parents in the process of disciplining
children, we should pay attention to the external binding of the child into their inner
self-control ability.
Recommendation five: teaching children to protect themselves.
There are now a mess for many things, some websites, newspapers, magazines, films,
videos, books and other unhealthy content in all these unhealthy content is a
temptation that will corrode the hearts of young people. Parents should regularly
discuss with children what is healthy, what is a poison, and to enhance the ability of
the child's identification, the child consciously resist unhealthy things.
Some lawless elements in society specialized lie and money, lure children away
dishonest, or even trafficking in children. For example, some fraudsters lure children
gambling, and some ways to use storytelling spread feudal superstition or
promiscuous ideas, some of them children to sell ecstasy, LSD and other drugs, and
some time in the children alone, to know the parents of children or relatives , kids out
playing on the pretext to give parents of abducted children ... ... children of these
social phenomena, to tell their children these bad people, the true face of crooks,
educate their children in the face of such things, we must think about moving my
mind, absolutely can not go anywhere with strangers; if people know that going home
to tell Mom and Dad, what if someone forced to raise hue. Keep up the parents to go
home after the clear, but also with the teacher report.
In addition, parents should tell their children, or to ask a stranger for help finding lost
things of that sort of thing should be vigilant, do not easily believe that this is often
the child's strategy for luring criminals. Let the child know that anyone,
including police and firefighters, without the guardian permitting a child, they can not
take away. Therefore, for themselves as police officers, firefighters and others to bring
more people to be vigilant when.
In general, life will inevitably encounter floods, fires, earthquakes, electric shock,
drowning, car accidents, lost, encounter bad guys, and other special events, therefore,
parents should let children know from childhood: on fire, how to do, how do lost so,
let the children know that fire telephone "119", steal the police
call "110" emergency telephone 120, etc., the most important
thing is to remember phone numbers of parents.