Eight ways to improve emotional intelligence
1, Institute of appropriate psychological boundaries delineated, which is good for
You may clear boundaries with others, since that is a good thing, this way we can get
along with whim, and with each other do not have to bargain fiercely. This sounds
somewhat reasonable, but its disadvantage is that people often hurt your feelings but
you do not know it.
In fact, look closely around you can easily find limits poor people prone to morbid
fear that they will not fight with the aggressor, and more willing to talk to a third party.
If we are psychological boundaries that violates other people who find the truth, we
will feel like a cold-blooded fool. We will feel hurt, because we only blame
themselves for their own fault, but also a third volume of our other up and coming
Boundaries clearly good for everyone. You have to understand what others can and
can not do to you. When someone violates your mental boundaries, telling him to seek
correction. If the program is always clear psychological boundaries, then you need to
improve their cognitive abilities.
2, find an appropriate way, in almost irrational sense of calm themselves when to
make the blood stay in the brain to make rational action.
Americans used to joke that: When faced with something, the reason kids give blood
to the brain, can be wise to think; barbaric blood into the limbs of children so that the
brain is empty and frantic impulse.
Yes, when blood is full of brains, your clear head and bearing, whereas, when blood
flow to your extremities and are the tongue, you will do stupid and impulsive temper,
In fact, scientific evidence shows that when we become too nervous under pressure,
the blood will indeed leave the cortex, so we will disoriented behavior. At this point,
the nature of the brain in animals has played a leading role, so that we, like most
primitive animals behave. To know that in civilized society, act like a primitive animal
will bring big trouble.
There are many strategies to control their emotions broke out, one way is to pay
attention to your rhythm, it is a measure of emotional precision ruler. When your heart
beats faster to more than 100 times per minute, the shake emotional importance. In
this rate, the body secrete much more adrenaline than usual. We will lose reason,
become aggressive cricket.
When the blood began to pour into the limbs, you can use the following method to
1, take a deep breath, until the calm down. Slowly, deeply breathe in, let air fill the
lungs. Put a hand on the abdomen, the right way to make sure your breathing.
2, talking to himself. For example say to yourself: &quot;I&#39;m
cool.&quot; Or: &quot;Everything will be all.&quot;
3, some people use hydrotherapy. Wash a hot bath, can make your anger and anxiety
together with the disappearance of the bubble bath.
4, you can also try American psychologist Tangnaaideng approach: thinking about
unpleasant things, and your fingertips on the forehead above the eyebrows, thumb
Anzhao temple, deep breathing. According to Eden said this just a few minutes, the
blood will return to the cerebral cortex, you can more calmly thinking.
3, would like to complain, pause to ask ourselves: &quot;I want to continue to
suffer from this situation does not seem to change, or want to change it?&quot;
For the endless complaining, we call it nagging. Consumption of hard without
complaining of any results, the problem of no use, but also make us feel better little
Almost all of them found that if the grievances of the sympathetic third-party talk, and
he will follow with the angry, we feel good about a number. Some people say to you:
&quot;Poor baby.&quot; This is a great comfort to you, you seem to
alleviate the pressure, so you can re-face the existing situation, although things have
But if you do not complain about it, you will feel great psychological pressure.
Sometimes the pressure is not a bad thing, yes, it might make you feel uncomfortable,
but also enables you to change the power. Once the pressure reduced, people are
likely to maintain the status quo. However, if the pressure did not complain about the
loss, it will push piled up, reached a limit, forcing you to take action to change status
So, when you are ready to sympathize with your friend complained of a, and to ask
ourselves this: I want to reduce the pressure to maintain status quo, or is it made me
want to continue the pressure to change all this? If the former, then the pressure off it
by complaining. By individuals are complaining of the time, it makes some of us feel
better temporarily. But if it really needs to change, then, determined to take effective
4, remove all waste energy on things.
What is not good for us to improve the power of emotional intelligence do? The
answer is all a waste of energy to things.
Many of the nervous system as long as his father&#39;s hand had thick calluses.
We have become accustomed to are not aware of energy consumption. Energy is
subtle, but can also appreciate the significant changes, such as good news, the
adrenaline will surge, and heard the bad news, you will feel exhausted. We do not
usually pay attention to subtle energy to consume, such as getting along with a
negative person, on the table to find that piece of paper and so on.
What in your life things slow consumption of energy? Piled the corner of my home a
small piece of carpet, when I see it, I would think some may be it trip. This is not a
big deal, but it distracted my attention. That is how we define the distracting things -
will feel after each contact energy is dispersed. Sometimes friends and live the same -
to give each other lessons and energy - but some are energy vampires, they will
absorb your energy. Then there are two options: one to address this problem, create a
psychological limit to continue with their cautious communication; the other is to
reduce contact with such people.
Indeed, we need to remove things slowly wasting energy, freeing us to focus on
improving emotional intelligence.
To speed up - you can choose to reduce the resistance or increase drive.
We offer a way to try it:
1, the regular list of things drain your energy.
2, a systematic analysis of the list, and divided into two parts:
A, can make a difference.
3, one by one to solve the problem single-A. For example for me, hang the car keys at
a fixed hook, so that would not have looked everywhere.
4, let&#39;s look at one of the questions B, are you sure? Have some of them
moved to the A alone may be addressed?
5, giving up a single B in question.
5, looking for a fresh life example.
We have all been learning model age, those noble example for us, but distant. So we
study an example of the enthusiasm and the example in the gradually died out in the
distance, because we know that his life may have no big hero.
Yes, you can not become a hero, but you can become a happy ordinary person, such as
your friend tannins, her energetic, young, generous, smart, funny. She runs
gynecological clinic, do consultants, for a city to be regularly writing columns, there
are handsome husband and adorable daughter.
You have such great people around you, to him as your example! You can think: she
can do I can, but our styles, I can not in her manner she had done. But I would imitate
her to do something to be done my way. From her you can always see the never aware
of their own potential.
The people around you learn from it to find out! Although they are smarter than you,
perhaps the better education, higher level, more willpower than you. You will catch
them in the process of naturally improving your emotional intelligence.
Parents will teach you a lot. When the child screamed, &quot;Why not buy me? I
hate you!&quot; You can not despair, not rage, you need to understand him and
accept the reality of extreme resentment. To know that this is can give your child the
best gift, of course, that hate should not continue.
Raising children is a win-win outcome. In the process of raising children, the children
also learned how to get along with young parents are not mature. As parents, we, in
the suppression to meet the needs of our children&#39;s needs in the process of
bald edges and corners. Raising children will automatically improve our emotional
intelligence, makes us more qualified parents.
If you are not willing to have children, try as a friend to see children get along with
children can really improve our emotional intelligence.
7, from the difficult people in a learned thing.
We have a lot of grumbling around, domineering, equipment for potential bile, we
very much hope that these people disappear from life, because they make people
angry and desperate, and even mad. Why can not these people ring up and buy a plane
ticket and sent on a small island, where they no longer
Will disturb the others. However, the best come on, those with difficult people is to
improve emotional intelligence in the helper. You can learn from the talkative silence
people who, from the grumpy people had learned patience, learned from a wicked
good, and you do not feel grateful to these teachers.
Also, your definition of &quot;difficult people&quot;, eventually proved to
be just different people with you, while the so-called hard to get along with people,
you are also difficult to get along with people.
To cope with difficult people in the most effective way to flexible. In other words,
find their way, in the process of interaction with them, as far as possible with
flexibility to use the same way. If people like to chat first and then talk down to
business, your response should be to relax and talk about family matters. On the other
hand, if this were straightforward, the less you should gossip, go straight. Thus, in
dealing with difficult people will be more efficient and will find that these people are
not so difficult.
Cope with difficult people in the second point is to them as gifts. Judy married a
domineering man. Marriage is full of ups and downs of her life because she did not
very clear boundaries. In breaking up years later, she learned to thank him, because he
taught her the importance of establishing and maintaining boundaries. Now and then
to face such a man, she did not care. Judy said: &quot;When lived with him after
the guys you&#39;ll never paid no attention.&quot; If she was married to
an amiable person, she might now no clear boundaries, it is difficult Difficult to deal
with those guys.
However, if you can choose, then perhaps we will never choose difficult people.
8, from time to time try an entirely different way, you will broaden horizons and
improve emotional intelligence.
You are a cheerful extrovert or an introvert who only like to be alone or with a few
close friends with people? You like to plan ahead each day to know what they are
doing something, or nothing scheme? Everyone has their own preference, if you can
choice, everyone will choose their own preferred way. However, suddenly routine, try
the opposite action would help with our growth.
If you always love to do together in the central figure, the change to change it, trying
to make people who normally unassuming out the limelight. If you always passively
wait for others and you strike up a conversation might take the initiative to the other
question came up good.