Tragedy!!! Chongqing female university graduates who do not want to be a civil servant committed suicide ?2010-03-08 07:33 Source: DragonSoft - Chongqing Evening News (Chongqing) by: Editor: Du Haifeng Chongqing Evening News on March 8 reported that 48-year-old Liu Mei-yi (a pseudonym) has not thought through: his deep mother became an &quot;killing&quot; dead daughter&#39;s murderer - the daughter Xiaolin after graduation, through the network-employed, but authority on leadership, she observes that this &quot;work&quot; of instability, to make up for her daughter to end organ &quot;iron rice bowl&quot;, but was repeatedly refused. Last year in December, after a dispute, 25-year-old mother could not stand reading about Xiaolin, pique from the 25th floor of the home, jump as ... ... 5, the friends, &quot;Chongqing Venture&quot; magazine staff, led by Yang Jie, Liu entered the United States again, Chongqing Art Institute of Social Psychology, the Office of psychological treatment. Tragic accident on December 24 last year, her daughter lying in a pool of blood downstairs Daughter committed suicide has been the past two months, but yesterday out of the treatment rooms, Liu art and the former strong woman is still a look of sad. Liu Mei-yi is a municipal authority level cadres, those who knew her, her evaluation is &quot;capable&quot;, &quot;strong woman&quot; and so on. Hand with daughter has behaved ignorance, in 2007 successfully graduated from Wuhan University. In all eyes, Lau arts are undoubtedly successful. But all in last year&#39;s abrupt end before Christmas. On December 24 last year, is full of festive Christmas atmosphere. At noon that day, Lau Art After this incident specifically Huile Tang family, would like to accompany her meal. 11 points had to enter the house, the Xiaolin just get up. Lau Arts somewhat Wohuo - daughter graduated from college and has been no formal job, leaning against a living online do the design, living life and no law. The dinner table, she again presented himself to persuade the authorities Xiaolin interview, also pledged to ensure, as long as there is a great chance to interview to get a lot of people wish for this work. Speaks, Xiaolin on one rejected, &quot;I said do not go to a newspaper where a cup of tea to dawdle, you must want me to go, unless I die.&quot; Mother and daughter broke up the conversation , at 1 o&#39;clock, Liu Yi leave the house when the United States, both Qi Gugu&#39;s. 1 hour, arrived in the United States unit of Liu Yi received a property management phone, said her daughter was hurt. Hurried home and found his daughter lying downstairs, one pool of blood had stopped breathing. Such a bolt from the blue, always a strong arts Lau was crushed. She also could not do what matter, cried in bed every day, had to please the holiday units. Diary of a rash decision to hide the computer unwilling to accept the arrangements for the mother Daughter had previously been very obedient, good economic conditions at home, and consequently need not worry, Lau arts to figure out how her daughter Why would jumping. Yang Jie is growing up watching Xiaolin, she Xiaolin impression is very quiet, very rarely share with others, but particularly obedient, the mother said to eat two bowls of rice will not eat a bowl. In her memory, from primary to university, regardless of learning or life, Xiaolin Liu seldom defy the will of the United States Art. She could not understand why in such an obedient good boy Why did you suddenly commit suicide. A few days later, Xiaolin solve computer a diary of their doubts and allows Lau arts into a more painful: &quot;Graduation three years ago, my mother read me almost every day, eat read, watch TV read, sleep ... ... I do not read is not willing to accept her to a stable job, choose to do something you enjoy it? 20 years has been by her preferences in life, could I really can not have their own choice? I have not been idle, in order to prove that they work every day I desperately look for design in the online list, every month to the mother, ranging from 800-1000 yuan living, hard to prove, in her view, that no use. What I am doing wrong in the end? She read too annoying, and now saw her I just want to hide in their back room, a lot of time bored want to commit suicide. Sometimes I think if the day that really can not stand up, jump on this window and forget, just do not know will not hurt ... ... &quot; Always thought he was favorite daughter, the result has become killed his daughter&#39;s murderer - the discovery of this art and regret not cope for Liu, difficult to accept. Worried that the fear gripping confession that is not worried about her unhappy Yang Jie said, lost his daughter to Liu Mei Yi completely changed individual. Arts from the United States can not bear to depressed Liu, Yang Jie took her to find executive director Tan Gangqiang Chongqing Institute of Social Psychology psychotherapy. After talking to Tan Gangqiang found suffering from a heart Lau Arts traumatic stress disorder due. Each psychological treatment, Lau Arts will keep repent: I stupid ah, though she gave me Jiaoliao Qian month, but I think those things unstable when she was online, no one worried about paying her insurance, worry about which day can not find the business, worrying about the law of life is unhealthy ... ... Liu Mei-yi said that he is experienced poverty and instability, well aware of the importance of stability, so this is also worried that her daughter is also worried that the did not expect her not happy. Now think about it, the so-called liberal professions or stability of the good or bad, are just standing on their own wishful evaluation perspective, the children, so long as to realize their value and can support themselves, happy is the most important. When psychologists are more injuries in the love of a burden &quot;This tragedy makes people think.&quot; Chongqing Normal mental health education and counseling center director of the China Family Education Research Association Liu Donggang that Liu Mei-yi and her daughter&#39;s example is all the parents think. Xiaolin chose suicide, Liu Donggang that maternal love is the murderer could not bear: art and heart in Liu, the daughter of independent thinking is not an individual, but his one &quot;work&quot;, as she arranged everything for her according to their own planning go step by step, from all aspects of her to make themselves look good. This surface is love, is actually very selfish, because this perspective is standing on its own self-gratification need not consider such an arrangement has been adult daughter who is a kind of great harm . Many parents have the same psychological Lau Arts, the unfinished dream of his transfer to their children, small enough to eat and drink Lazard talk walk, study and work big to Marriage, hope that they can live their ideal resorts even to Yuan himself was not round dream. Parents say love is the most selfless, because of this apparent selflessness, as children, they even can not find the reason for refusal and resistance, to the love of avoiding it. When this love be a burden, than to bear the limit, they will become injured. ?Workplace experts not your eyes look old children in Liaoning Liu Mei-yi and his daughter&#39;s tragedy is an extreme case though, but about two generations behind the differences in career choices are not uncommon. Undergraduates and business service center staff Deng Yang said, because the concept of difference with their parents, many students have centers for help. A relationship between parents have paid for and will be sent to an institution doing her job easier. Against invalid daughter into the flats, but Santianliangtou &quot;sick&quot;, and finally altogether absent from work, willing to allow units to achieve against the purpose of her dismissal. Mr Tang said that the majority of parents, job security is best, but fresh graduates are passionate young people have dreams, want to try again. Faced with choices, the best standing in each other&#39;s point of view of many, and especially parents, can not be imposed on their children, lest their ideas tragedy. When parents listen to 1 hope that this error-free high-pressure tolerated Undoubtedly, many parents regarded their children as the continuation of life, the children have all kinds of expectations. Liu Donggang said, this is not wrong, but this expectation and the deviation of the actual situation of the child, the parents of psychological adjustment is particularly important. 2 to overcome the herd mentality &quot;10 fingers do not generally homogeneous,&quot; certainly there are differences between people, in the expectation on the child, parents often forget that common sense like &quot;go with the flow.&quot; Parents expect to meet the child&#39;s characteristics, rather than the actions of others to establish expectations. 3 to change the anxious mental Expectations can and should be expected, some parents want their children to achieve success in a high-handed manner when the total layers of overweight. If this target is not the child can achieve through hard work, is elusive, and will lose confidence. 4 Elimination of overweening psychological Expect to have a child&#39;s identity, many parents think that children should obey parents, children and it was decided by the parents, which often impose his expectations of the child. In fact, any expectations of parents agreed only to have a child, the child can be translated into practical action. Children over here to do so when the face pressure to adjust As children, we encounter parents &quot;pressure&quot; to not tolerate, other than to see a psychiatrist and self-regulation is also important. How to adjust? Liu Donggang Return Weapon for their children as follows: A transfer regulation Shift attention in the mental health of essential bad mood when there is trouble, it is best to go out to participate in recreational activities, a change of scenery from another idea, new and exciting people to forget bad feelings can be; 2 outlet regulator In the appropriate forum, reasonable vent their stress, can also play a role in psychological adjustment. For example yelled, sports, smash things are all way off steam, but to pay attention to the object of catharsis, and other occasions, unprovoked anger in others, something they do not have adverse consequences; 3 contacts regulation Communication is essential to human social needs, particularly the exchange of emotion and thought. Depressed, to the friends to talk, especially the good relations between opposite sex friends to talk to, will have better psychological adjustment function. American Psychological research shows that all the talk of the opposite sex can get much higher than the same sex to talk to resolve the effect of depression.