BABES IN OUTER SPACE CAST OF CHARACTERS A Woman: A young housewife and mother. Four Male Reporters: Tough newspapermen out for a story. (Preferably played by women.) The General: A generic military officer. Captain Steve Banner: Commander of the Spaceship Eisenhower Handsome, manly, brave, honest and a bit square. Dr. William McCracken: Science officer and a crusty old genius. Lt. “Bucky” Fuller: Navigator and engineer. A working-class lover boy from south Philadelphia. Honey: A dime store “Marilyn.” Natina Zamara: Glamorous senior scientist of Valsuvia. Hapshut: Commander of Queen Rula’s guards. Lahna Marla: Evil but luscious dragoons of the Queen. Queen Rula: Wicked, psychotic queen of Valsuvia. Vannha Flavia: Scientific aides to Natina Zamara. Admiral Marcel: Former commander of the Valsuvian army. Casting in multiple roles should be considered for the parts of Natina Zamara, Queen Rula, Lahna, Marla, Flavia, Vannha, and Hapshut with Honey, The Four Reporters, and A Woman. Scene America and the Planet Valsuvia Time 1960, the Near Future SAMPLE DIALOGUE RULA I must apologize for Colonel Hapshut. She is a soldier and more accustomed to battle than to love. STEVE And your highness? RULA A queen must be adept at every game. STEVE I see. RULA And which do you play, Captain? The truth. Why are you here? STEVE I told you, we crashed here while searching for a deadly ray which is terrorizing Earth. RULA Tell me more of this “ray”? Where does it come from? STEVE We don’t know. All we’re sure of is that it must be stopped at any cost. RULA But have you considered what that price might be? STEVE Anything to save America, the Earth... RULA ...and “the girl you left behind?” Did you forget that? STEVE I never had much time for women. RULA Perhaps my time is your time, commander? Be a dear and pour some wine. It’s the finest on our planet, made from the nectar of the rare Amora blossoms found only in my private garden. It is said to arouse those feelings locked in the innermost chambers of one’s heart. STEVE (Pouring the wine) A love potion, your majesty? RULA A gesture of friendship...Steve...if I may call you that. STEVE If you wish. RULA I do. And you must call me Rula. STEVE “Rula.” RULA Yes, say it again. Again and again. STEVE “Rula.” “Rula, Rula.” RULA Yes! STEVE I feel like I’m back at Yale. RULA And now drink. (He does.) Good? STEVE Sweet as honey... RULA …On a woman’s lips? STEVE Yes, but...I feel so strange. Light-headed. (Beginning to feel the drug) Like I have no will of my own. RULA I have enough for us both, my love. From the first moment I gazed into your deep brown eyes, I saw a man of strength, different from the rest. Someone worthy to stand beside a great queen such as I. My darling, I have such plans. We shall rule the galaxy. You and I and the interspace modulator... STEVE (Increasingly groggy) “Interspace modulator?” RULA Yes, a machine capable of crossing thousands of miles of space and re-arranging matter. With it I can destroy anything I choose in the solar system: ships, cities, people. And after I subdue them, I can transport my armies there to make the populus do my bidding. STEVE (Trying to maintain his wits) Then I was right. You are the cause of the havoc back home. RULA Yes. It is I. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Except save yourself. STEVE Save myself by losing my country? What kind of a man do you think I am? RULA A fool unless you join me. STEVE And what about the others...Bucky and Doc? RULA They are expendable. But enough questions. Tonight is for us. STEVE (Finally under her spell) Yes. RULA Come and kiss me. STEVE As you wish, darling. (He removes her veil and starts to kiss her, but just as their lip touch, he backs away in horror.) STEVE Ahh! My god! No! How terrible! (RULA turns around showing the audience her face. Her lips are deformed and vibrant blue.) RULA So you are like all the rest. I should have known. All you men are the same. None of you can be trusted. You did this to me, men like you. STEVE Your lips. They’re cold as ice. RULA “Ice” indeed, captain. They were once warm and kind like those a loving wife. But men changed that. After being left alone for years during the great war with Uranus, I received notice that my husband had been sent home. I was overjoyed. Admiral Marcel told me he was there already. When I arrived, I found him asleep. I leaned over to kiss him and...and... STEVE Yes? RULA As our lips touched, I screamed in agony. He had been atomically frozen! STEVE What? RULA Yes, to save his life he had been refrigerated in an Arcticroptic generator. A single second’s contact with him permanently reduced my lips to sub-zero temperature! STEVE But... RULA He died. But I live. With only this as a tribute of my devotion to man. STEVE How terrible! RULA What man could love me now? You, commander? (He tries to kiss her again, but cannot.) STEVE I’m sorry, I... RULA What? No kiss for Miss Birds-eye? Jack Frost got your tongue? Or do I only have “ice” for you? I thought as much. Leave me. Go back to your friends. The drink’s effect shall wear off and you shall remember nothing. Guards! Remove him! (LAHNA and MARLA enter and drag STEVE out.) STEVE (Still groggy) I’m sorry, your highness. RULA Not as much as you will be, commander. You and your men!
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