Comedy writing services: links, jokes, puns and funny definitions for speakers, trainers and executives
A simple choice:
either
2 Miles Street Mascot NSW 2020 Telephone 0428 547 773 bm@comedywriter.com.au www.comedywriter.com.au
1. 4,000 words on your presentation, in two parts, with guidance before each 2,000 word instalment or 2. a three-month retainer relationship, with frequent direction. This could be 13 briefs over the period: information on audiences, products and services, enabling bite-sized chunks of comedy writing to be tailored for 13 elements of work, such as speeches, PowerPoint slides, handouts, web content, YouTube performances, advertisements and marketing materials. Outlay for either option: $1,000+GST.
Why is there GST? Does the government really tax jokes?
Yes, the government provides a disincentive to joke manufacture by taxing them at the point of sale. I have long petitioned the government to drop all taxes on jokes and begin subsidising them, but so far all efforts have failed. Perhaps government already subsidises the supply of jokes by providing them itself, but surely this just provides a state-sanctioned competitor to the private manufacture of jokes, and therefore makes business tough for voluntarily-funded operators like myself.
Is humour suitable for my presentation?
Humour is suitable for all presentations. Funny is not the opposite of serious. Humour can be used in a number of ways, including: (1) to make a serious message more memorable; (2) to gain the audiences attention so that they are receptive to a serious message; and (3) to entertain and keep undisruptive those unreceptive to a serious message.
Will Benjamin make it really easy and write my speech for me?
No.
Is Benjamin the typical average everyday kind of comedy writer?
Yes.
Are you eligible for a special introductory offer, if you (1) hand in this flyer and (2) are an NSAA member?
No, you just missed out, because after much consideration I finally decided against offering one. But for those who are nearing the end of their careers, you only need to pay half the fee upfront. That is my parting offer.
How do I know that Benjamin is trustworthy?
He has written for several past national presidents of NSAA, and his father Rodney Marks has held numerous positions on the NSAA board, including, most notably, immediate past national president. Rodney has also been a professional hoaxer for many years.
How do I know that Benjamin is funny? Tell us a joke.
All my charity work is off-the-record.
Will Benjamin really understand the content of my presentation?
Yes, I can digest your lessons without swallowing any of them.
Benjamin Marks has written this section in the third person because it:
• • • • • • • • Describes him in a more objective and official manner. Shows that he can write for others as if he was writing for himself. Is then okay for him to laugh at his own jokes. Shows that his authorship of jokes someone else presents need not be openly heralded. Shows he can politely work to a brief, even if the brief itself is quite eccentric and not entirely understandable. Displays his ability to treat a subject with the civility, solemness, delicacy and respect that it deserves. Shows that he is unselfish, always looking at things from the client’s point of view. And also that he can speak the language of his clients. Proves that even the most independently-minded people, who usually never accept help, use a comedy writer.
Marks is a professional comedy writer, so his jokes are not only at the victim’s expense. He knows how to cope with special occasions and requests, because to him they are nothing special at all. Marks is an authority on humour. He is the person who says what’s funny and what’s not. He oversees the setup of jokes and the delivery of punch lines. He implements gag orders and fulfils outstanding ones. He is the doorkeeper of knock-knock jokes, the guiding light of dark humour, the moral conscience of nonsense verse, and knows slapstick like the back of his hand. In fact, he was the inspiration behind the naming of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Marks knows how important timing is to comedy, always finishing his projects on time. Marks writes clean comedy, so if the audience finds it otherwise, it’s their fault. Marks writes neatly-tailored material, carefully hand-typing all his work. Marks has left such a lasting impression on the world, that if he were to disappear, the world would stay the same. He is so fondly remembered that when he does go, no one will be sad. Marks, being a writer, gets no work wholly from word of mouth, putting him at a disadvantage to speakers, who should compensate him for the disparity. Marks writes lines you’ll be proud to say. He’ll write you a pride and a heard of lines, and when he poaches them from somewhere else, he always credits whose killer line it is. As you can see, Marks provides the complete comedy writing package, even writing his own testimonials.
Environmental Impact Statement
Global warming would have frightening repercussions for life on our planet. Just look what happened to Mercury and Venus: only aliens live there now. We are working towards making comedy writing a carbon neutral activity. Here are some of the initiatives we have undertaken: • We advise clients to memorise rather than read speeches or prompts from printouts, because we all know how wasteful that is. • We prefer accepting direct debit to cheques, but cash does save paperwork.