COSMETICS by fjwuxn

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									The Peak
     September 15, 2008 • 130/3 • FREE | Surviving the Hadron Collider since 1965


                                          The Peak takes a look into the
                                          dangers of common beauty
                                          products           Pg. 18
                               September 15, 2008 • Volume 130 Issue 1

   2                                                                       peek
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                                                                                                                                                                            Jenny Waters / The Peak

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                                                                                                                                                               ARTS EDITOR Deanne Beattie
                                                                                                                                                           OPINIONS EDITOR J.J. McCullough

                                                           18                                    The dangers                                         
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  “I want to make to                                                                                                                             DISTRIBUTION & ARCHIVES COORDINATOR
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  be a liberator
  students aware , a                                                                           thank you                                                              COLUMNISTS

                                                                                                                                                                   Muhammad Amir, Susie Hill

  of decisions , one                                                         SFU
  peacemaker                                                                                         screw you                                        ASSOCIATE STAFF CONTRIBUTORS
                                                                                                                                                   Matt Lee, Christine G. Louie, Tessa Perkins, Cam Smith

                                                                                                                                                          THIS WEEK’S CONTRIBUTORS
  being made.”                                                                          thank you to part-time jobs. Money, money,               Claire Askew, Kim Bloomfield, Andrew Fergusson, Heather
                                                                                                                                                Forbes, David Kobylanski, Paul McCulloch, Lyndsay Sanders,
                                                                                         money is awesome, awesome, awesome.                            Hasan Tahir, Graham Templeton, John Wong
      -Ravi Patel                                                                       screw you to being behind in class already be-
      -Panther Kuol                                                                      cause we’re too busy spending to read.                                   All articles published in The Peak
      SFSS Chief                                                                        thank you to grilled cheese!                                                will appear on

      Electoral                                                                         screw you to charging $3.75 for said sandwich.                                      WHO WE ARE
      Officer                                                                            There may be two types of fromage in there,         The Peak is the official student newspaper of Simon Fraser University and
                                                                                         but it was hardly gourmet.                          is published every Monday. Our offices are located underneath the Higher
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My bad!                                                                                  pid $4 student fee back.                                                           WRITE FOR US
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Page 8 of the September 8 issue of The Peak stated that SFU left the                    screw you to those four people who came in           section editor. Letters to the editor should be around 150-750 words and
Canadian Federation of Students in 2007, the correct date is 2008.                       and ruined our day, asking to opt out of sup-       can be delivered to The Peak or emailed to

                                                                                         porting our paper. You’ve made your student         Due to space restrictions, The Peak can not guarantee that all
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The photographs on page 26 and 27 of the September 8 issue of The                        paper poorer (both in money and spirit).            edit all submissions for length, as well as stylistic, grammatical, and legal
Peak were taken at Nature’s Garden and Renaissance Coffee, respectively.                                                                     guidelines. The Peak also reserves the right to reprint submissions at
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Cover Photo Illustration/ Andy Fang                                                                                                          content that is sexist, racist, or otherwise hateful or prejudiced.

Cover Model/ Katie Findlay

                                                                                       the peak
             Se p te m b e r 1 5, 20 0 8
                                                                                                                               opinions editor   J.J. McCullough
                                                                                                                                                 778.782.4560                       3

                                                                          Asian students gather in front of the Chinese Students and Scholars Association booth at club days last week.

Enough with the ethnic clubs
                                                  are increasingly setting up their own paral- such groups should be allowed to operate           My own pet theory is that this sort of
                                                  lel student networks to exclusively service in the first place (we live in a free society   ethnic divide is a completely natural out-
                                                  their own ethnic communities and thus so they obviously should) but rather what             come of a society in which the majority
                                                  compete with, undermine, and replace any sorts of larger consequences their contin-         culture no longer offers anything partic-
                                                  sense of student life with a broader-based, ued existence will inevitably cause. Uni-       ularly attractive or even definable for its
                              J.J. McCullough     non-racialized appeal. Their social clubs versity life is, after all, supposed to be the    post-immigrant communities to integrate
                                Opinions Editor
                                                  are among the most prolific, best orga- incubator of our society’s intellectual and         into in the first place. Is SFU a Canadian,
                                                  nized, and best run on campus—not to social trends, not to mention the ideology             English school fulfilling its historic role as
The Peak offices are located deep in the          mention steadily growing.                    of the ruling elite of tomorrow. So the way    an institution of western civilization, or is
basement of the Maggie Benston build-                 The spectacle was                                          in which race relations      it simply some corporatized post-modern
ing, right next door to a particular room         on dramatic display                                            manifest at a campus         hodgepodge with no inherent values or cul-
the student society refers to as the “forum       at last week’s “club
                                                                                     SFU is fast                 like SFU can be seen as      tural structure underpinning its existence?
chambers.” Large and open, it’s a place           days” event held in the            becoming a                  a very accurate predictor        A campus culture in which university
that is taken over several times a week by a      Convocation Mall. Of         campus of de facto of how larger British Co-                   students are taught to observe the separa-
variety of noisy groups whose various bois-       the 100 or so student                                          lumbian and Canadian         tion of racial groups into autonomous, ho-
terous activities I cannot help but overhear      groups that had set            segregation and                 society will be organized    mogeneous pods as something that is un-
from my humble opinions editor desk.              up tables to promote           racial isolation.               in the near future.          important (if not, as the multi-culturalist
    I hope readers will not judge me too          themselves, at least 20                                            The basic phenom-        set will often claim, outright charming) pre-
harshly when I observe that many of these         were explicitly ethnic                                         enon of Asian separat-       dicts a social culture that can raise no pro-
groups are exclusively Asian outfits. Some-       in character, the majority of which were ism at this school, if I can call it that,         test when the races proceed to do the same
times it’s a Christian revival club, some-        Asian. I’m speaking of groups like the Chi- seems to be rooted in a sense among             thing in other areas of society — in cities,
times it’s a bunch of taiko drummers,             nese Debate Society, the SFU Japanese Net- the Asian student population that they           business, political parties, and so on.
but all of the time it’s a group composed         work, the SFU Taiwanese Association, the very consciously do not want to partici-               If university, and Canadian society in
entirely of Koreans, Chinese, or Taiwan-          Formosa Cultural club, the Chinese Link pate in the organizations or institutions           general, is simply a game about the bot-
ese, speaking their own language before a         club, the Chinese Christian fellowship, the of the majority, but rather create their        tom line, then none of this matters. If barely
group of racially identical faces. These are      Chinese student union, the South Asian own to assert their distinct ethno-cul-              literate Asians increasingly dominate B.C.’s
clubs explicitly designed by and for a single     Student Society, and the Association of Ko- tural values. And let’s be clear that this is   financial and science sectors while a largely
ethno-cultural group, to the exclusion of         rean-Canadian Scientists and Engineers, something that goes beyond mere “sup-               white-dominated governing class rules over
all others. It’s really disturbing when you       to name but a couple. And that’s without port networks” for the recently settled.           them, then we can’t say anything is wrong,
think about it, and it’s quite unfortunate        even beginning to consider the many other Only about 10 per cent of SFU’s popu-             because the market has spoken. If, however,
we don’t think about it more, because the         campus religious groups and “departmen- lation actually consists of international           we actually desire an integrated, cohesive
extent to which SFU is fast becoming a            tal student unions” which were quite obvi- students (many of whom are not even              and cooperative society with a single shared
campus of de facto segregation and racial         ously mere fronts for clubs that desire a Asian), meaning a large degree of the             understanding of language, citizenship,
isolation is really quite striking. Asian stu-    very ethnically particular membership.       Asian isolationism has its origins in stu-     identity, and morality then what we see at
dents, and to an extent other minorities,             My point is not to argue whether or not dents who are not even foreign-born.            SFU does not bode well for the future.

For God’s sake, use both sides of the page!
Lyndsay Sanders                                                  being earthless due to the ever-looming crisis of global siding initiative, other universities would follow in suit.
The Peak                                                         warming. Besides, the APA manual is not a person, and If all universities across the globe got on board, trees
                                                                 it will not be facing the long-                                       would be saved, waste would decrease, CO2
Professors must start to require students to hand in             term consequences of our waste.          Profs should                 would be converted into O2, and so on.
double-sided assignments! I’ve been thinking about               Also, a double-sided assignment                                           It’s so simple to do. Profs and TAs: make
this problem for a while because I’ve been in school for         is just as readable as a single-
                                                                                                         make double-                  double-sided printing a requirement in
a really long time (yep, seven years), so I have written         sided assignment. It’s the con-        sided printing a               your assignment criteria and deduct marks
a lot of big fat single-sided papers. Beyond that, I’ve          tent of the student’s work — not      requirement and                 should students fail to comply. Students:
served as a TA and TM for the last two years, so I’ve also       the siding format — that should                                       ask your Prof or TA if it’s cool with them if
graded a whole lot of single-sided assignments. Need-            really matter.                         deduct marks if                you double-side your paper. Then tell your
less to say, I’ve seen a lot of papers and therefore a lot           In my opinion, universities,       students fail to               friends in your classes to do the same. Let’s
of unnecessary waste. Yet I know there is still a whole          like SFU, are places where indi-                                      be a leader in change SFU! Demand that
lot more paper out there, just waiting to be wasted.             viduals with the utmost intelli-
                                                                                                              comply.                  your Professors, TAs, and fellow students
    So tell me: why can’t all these papers be printed            gence gather. Thus universities,                                      start making a difference by double-siding!
double-sided? I know, I know, writing guides like “APA”          like SFU, should be major leaders in change and global Demand it of yourself.
suggest otherwise. But these rules were published long           warming prevention. Perhaps if professors, TAs, and         Lyndsay Sanders is a graduate student in the Depart-
before we were all aware that there is a serious risk of         students like you, all got on board with this double-    ment of Psychology

                                                                                      the peak
 4           September 15, 2008                                                      OPINIONS
Where’s the Beef?                                                                    Campus View
Politicians and celebs                                                               Frats suck . . . but you
are a dangerous mix                                                                  should still vote for them
                                           year, Oprah took a break from sup-                                                                  or you’re already scratching your head trying to
                                           porting gal pal Gayle financially, and                                                              figure out what combination of Greek letters you
                                           turned her attention to Obama’s bid                                                                 can jam together to give your planned frat an aura
                            Susie Hill for the presidency. Winfrey showed up                                                                   of timelessness, you should still vote in favour of
                                Columnist at rallies, wept at the Democratic con-                                             Sam Norris letting frats back on campus.
                                           vention, and unleashed her army of                                                      News Editor     Complaining about the lack of community
I enjoy my celebrities the same way I Costco card-wielding Women’s Wear                                                                        on campus has become common to the point of
enjoy my eggs — over easy. In other Daily subscribers on the political               In last week’s issue of The Peak, my fine colleague cliché, but the main reason people aren’t sticking
words, I don’t expect a whole lot from world. Her support captured droves            J.J. McCullough described me as the newspaper’s around is because they don’t have anything to do
my eggs, and I sure as hell do not ex- of free publicity and free money (she         “resident hipster.”                                       while they’re here. Frats and sororities could be the
pect a lot out of celebrities. So why helped to raise over three million for              I’d argue that instead of a hipster, I just happen missing link for the majority of students who don’t
does it seem that come election time, his campaign). The dangerous thing             to have friends who are themselves hipsters — but like politics or God, don’t want to write for a news-
the star brigade is out in full force try- is that if Oprah can make any book        then, that’s what most hipsters will tell you.            paper, and aren’t interested in clubs based around
ing to tell me what to think about the a bestseller by giving it her stamp                The point, though, is that I’m hardly the sort ethnicity.
issues? Some argue that the endorse- of approval, imagine the power she              of person you’d expect to like                                                      And even if you aren’t in-
ment of candidates by high profile could wield over future political deci-           fraternities.                                     It’s a gross                  terested in joining a frat, you
entertainers is an important addition sions — could Stedman be President                  In fact, I don’t.                                                          might be interested in one
to any campaign, but can and should Obama’s next chief of staff?                          Let alone myself, why any-
                                                                                                                                   infringement on                   of their events. Even if you’re
celebrities have the power to translate        Celebrity endorsements are not all    body would want to be part of                 students’ rights                  not, it’s a fairly gross infringe-
endorsements into votes?                   created equal. In fact, some can actu-    one is completely beyond me.               to stop them from ment on other student’s rights
     The rich and the famous may ally hurt a candidate — take Whoopi                 Hazing? No thanks. Initiations                                                  to stop them from soaking up
have countless methods at their dis- Goldberg for example. In 2004, her              and rituals? Not until I get mar-              soaking up the                   the benefits of fraternities and
posal to look and feel great, but this endorsement of John Kerry went awry           ried. All guys? I’d rather join the          benefits of frats.                 sororities.
by no means gives them any intellec- when she showed up drunk at a fund              football team. Thrown in with a                                                     The most common argu-
tual power over the public. Thus, it is raiser waving a bottle of wine at the        bunch of unknowns you’re ex-                                                    ment against frats are the sto-
fine with me if Jessica Simpson wants podium, while requesting that Kerry            pected to be friends with? Speed-dating sounds like ries that drift up through the media from some-
to let me know how to clear up a nasty jump rope to prove his agility. Thus,         a better bet. Alcohol-centered culture? The bums where far away every now and then: date-rapes,
complexion, but I                                           it is essential that     on Hastings tell better stories.                          sexism, hazing gone wrong. And there’s no ques-
don’t want to hear Celebrity political one accepts endorse-                               If the upcoming plebiscite was whether I should tion, these things are wrong.
her thoughts on                                             ments with a gram        have to join a fraternity, I’d take it to the streets.        As far as I can tell, though, your average frat
how to clear up the
                        endorsements can of cocaine, ahem, I                         Clever signs, defiant chants, following around Jeho- house is hardly a smoke-filled den of iniquity where
even nastier U.S.        build momentum; mean a grain of salt.                       vah’s Witnesses to pick up some tips on converting grizzled old brothers do unspeakable things to un-
deficit. Endorsing                                              Candidates must      the unbelievers; I wouldn’t leave you alone until witting recruits and unwilling young girls.
                           look no further                  likewise learn to                                                                      Even if something criminal was to happen at
products is essen-                                                                   you’d signed a statement with your own blood de-
tial for most enter-         than Oprah’s                   publicize their en-      claring your intention to vote the plebiscite.            one of the frats, there are other avenues to deal
tainers, and con-         endorsement of dorsements wisely.                               However, the question asks nothing more than with it: academic discipline, Campus Security, the
sumers will have                                            Perhaps this is why                                                                      .
                                                                                     “are you in favour of Simon Fraser University re- RCMP Ill-founded (and solveable) fears are no
only a relatively                  Obama.                   Hillary Clinton re-      scinding its ban towards on and off campus frater- reason to continue a ban on organizations which
miniscule price to                                          frained from advertis-   nities and sororities?”                                   could help make campus a more welcoming place
pay should their Proactive Solution        ing the fact that she was endorsed by          Whether, like me, you find fraternities about as for some of us.
or Bowflex ab cruncher prove inad- rapper 50 Cent, who may have been                 appealing as a double helpin’ of Chartwells pizza,            Not me, but some of us.
equate. In contrast, should a celebrity shot nine times, but still has some
sway enough votes the wrong way, great views on education reform (yo,
there are no refunds, exchanges, or give them kids some Rubik’s Cubes,
second chances to think for yourself. know what I’m sayin’?) Other dubi-                 WOOHOO! BOOHOO! by J.J. McCullough
In other words, just because a prod- ous endorsements of the season in-
uct gets endorsed does not mean it clude Hulk Hogan and Ben Affleck
works. Exceptions to this rule include for Obama, along with Heidi Montag,              WOOHOO! The Yellow Brick Road                                BOOHOO! The road off the Hill
the George Foreman Grill and Paul Tom Selleck, and Sylvester Stallone for
Newman’s line of salad dressings, McCain. Personally, I think that Mc-
which are flawless.                        Cain’s campaign could benefit from a        The Yellow Brick Road is a classic exam-                    How many times has this happened to
     Celebrity political endorsements guest appearance on the Hills.                   ple of government efficiency at its fin-                    you? You’ve settled into a bus seat, note-
can build momentum and excite-                 As for Canada, our political ce-        est. Munchkin Land doesn’t need a lot of                    book on lap, ready to get cracking on
ment for a campaign. Look no further lebrity endorsements are hard to                  nanny-state “highways” and “light rail”                     some homework as you make the long
than Oprah Winfrey’s endorsement of come by, but I think that Celine                   systems to get its people around, just a sin-               trip down the hill. But within seconds of
Barrack Obama for proof. Earlier this Dion should consider supporting                  gle, clean foot path straight from the city                 putting pen to paper, the bus’ herky-jerky
                                           Stéphane Dion simply for the sake           centre to the nation’s capital. Of course,                  clattering down the monstrously uneven
                                           of alliteration.                            one can still detect a whiff of corruption                  Burnaby mountain road makes your note-
                                               In sum, my major beef with ce-          in the road’s construction; the fact that                   book page end up looking like some sort
                                           lebrity endorsements is that the            the path dangerously and unnecessarily                      of joint collaboration between Jackson
                                           glitz and glamour of say, Chuck             winds through the forest of fighting trees                  Pollock and Michael J. Fox. And don’t get
                                           Norris, can blind impressionable            and the deadly poppy field implies that the                 me started on trying to play Pokemon
                                           voters from the real issues. It is          mayor of Munchkin Land probably made                        Trozei on your DS using the touch screen!
                                           one thing to use a celebrity as             the residents of those communities a few                    I’d rather take my chances with an opium-
                                           a catalyst to encourage young               too many promises at election time.                         induced poppy coma!
                                           people to vote via the media, but
                                           it is quite another to endorse a
                                           candidate like a Faulkner novel.
                                           Because somewhere out there
                                           I know that an impressionable
                                           18-year-old is insisting that Mike
                                           Huckabee will be on the presi-
                                           dential ballot because Chuck
                                           Norris told him so.

                                                                                        the peak
                                                                             OPINIONS                                                                    5
                                                                                                                                                     September 15, 2008

                                                                                                                                            Editor’s Voice
                                                                                                                                            Don’t call me
                                              CMYK PAGE
                                                                                                                                                                                Shara Lee
                                                                                                                                                                               Features Editor

                                                                                                                                           I am a lover of Shakespeare, I’m horrible at
                                                                                                                                           math, I do not play the piano, English is my
                                                                                                                                           first and only language, and I have a lot of white
                                                                                                                                           friends. But alongside all those things, I do
                                                                                                                                           enjoy the occasional bubble tea, like to go for
                                                                                                                                           dim sum, and have in my younger years posed
                                                                                                                                           for my fair share of sticker pictures. Despite all
                                                                                                                                           this, people both Asian and non-Asian are con-
                                                                                                                                           stantly telling me that I’m “white washed.”
                                                                                                                                                But what does that even mean? It’s difficult
                                                                                                                                           for me to agree on a set of definably white or
                                                                                                                                           definably Asian characteristics because to me,
                                                                                                                                           these are just things that I enjoy doing.
                                                                                                                                                I have never tried to place myself within a
                                                                                                                                           particular ethnic group, nor choose my friends
                                                                                                                                           based on the colour of their skin. I have always
                                                                                                                                           just hung out with people that have had similar
                                                                                                                                           interests as me and people whom I’ve gotten
                                                                                                                                           along with. This is why when I notice clusters of
                                                                                                                                           ethnically exclusive people on campus, it really
                                                                                                                                           seems quite odd to me.
                                                                                                                                                So, being the inquisitive journalist that I
                                                                                                                                           am, I decided to quell my curiosity by spend-
                                                                                                                  J.J. McCullough          ing a bit of last week’s “club days” with a few

To hell with recycled paper
                                                                                                                                           executives from the SFU Canadianized Asian
                                                                                                                                           Club to see if I would fit in nicely with their
                                                                                                                                           ethnically-exclusive group. So there I stood with
                                                                                                                                           a few CAC guys, doing what us 20-somethings
                                       cares?” while others are thinking “re-           everything else, and you get fewer emis-           do. We checked out the scene, looking for good-
Paul McCulloch                         cycled is good, right?”                          sions. Second, the process of recycling            looking people.
The Peak                                 Wrong! Little known fact: recycling            the paper itself spews crap into the air,               It was fun at first as we judged ridiculous
                                       paper is actually worse for the envi-            while leaving a noxious sludge. Yet more           campus couture, and scoped out the odd hot-
Back to class and what do I see? A ronment than not recycling paper. Yes,               pollution.                                         tie, but at the end of the day, I was sick of
whole lot of bullshit, that’s what. It you read that correctly. In order to re-              You are probably saying to yourself “but      being told that I was “too white to be Asian.”
began before the semester even began. cycle paper, all of the old stuff has to          it saves trees!” Now, listen very carefully: Re-   I don’t even know exactly what it was that I
I thought I would head on down to be shipped from the cities to the pulp                cycling paper does not save trees. The paper       did or didn’t do while talking to this group
the bookstore and get a                                     and paper mills.            industry utilizes tree farms in order to keep      of individuals. They were all lovely people,
head start on picking up                                    Have you ever been          up with demand. If they need more trees,           but for some reason, they couldn’t get over
some of my texts. There      Recycling paper is to one? They stink.                     they plant more trees. In addition to this,        the fact that I had fun at the occasional Pub
are many people that are     actually worse for             For this reason,            using recycled materials is more expensive         Night, frequented the Mountain Shadow, and
fond of sitting in lecture                                  along with sav-             than using virgin wood. Recycling paper is         enjoyed living on campus. “Those are all such
with their Macs fired
                             the environment.               ing on shipping             expensive, polluting, and saves nothing.           white places,” they told me. I in turn asked
up for note taking, but                                     by being closer to               What is my point you ask?When I               them what they thought were Asian places. To
I personally prefer the simple college the trees, paper mills are generally kept        walk into the campus bookstore looking             which one guy replied, “ya know, 686, Plush,
rule coil-bound notebook. This trip out in the countryside. This means, that            for a notebook, I at least want the op-            Atlantis.”
to the bookstore threw me, however, after being taken to the recycling de-              tion to buy non-recycled materials. But                 It isn’t as if I avoid these places because
for all I could find was “Environotes” pots, all of the paper must be moved             some self-righteous “environmentalist”             I cannot stand the sight of those ethnically
notebooks, made with recycled paper. out to the paper mills. The vehicles pro-          made the choice for me, and in the pro-            similar to myself. I simply find it a chore to —
Now, I know that there are a multitude duce emissions, adding to the pollution          cess profits off of the destruction of the         along with every other girl in the club — glue
of greenies reading this asking “who in the air. Unload it at the dump with             planet. The SFU Bookstore should be                on some fake lashes, get out the ol’ push up
                                                                                                                                           bra, strap on my stilettos, and venture all the
                                                                                                                                           way downtown to be in the midst of a scene

Ditch the parking lottery
                                                                                                                                           juxtaposed with fake breasts in Marciano bras
                                                                                                                                           and drug addicted individuals clamoring for a
                                                                                                                                           buck or two. Instead I’d much rather throw on
                                                                                                                                           some comfy jeans, take a five minute bus ride
Kim Bloomfield                                                        Look, I don’t really want to take my car to school. It’s a           down to the Shadow or even the Foggy Dew,
The Peak                                                          hideously ugly car, four years older than I am (and I’m 23). Oh          and sip on some cheap three dollar highballs.
                                                                  yeah, and there’s that whole environmental detriment thing                    Upon examination of myself, I have found
If you drive to SFU you will already be well aware of the fact    too. But if I don’t drive I waste about 16 hours a week using            that I am a person with a dozen things on
that there are simply not enough parking stalls at this school    public transit; time which could be better spent working or              her to-do list on any given day, a person who
to meet the student demand. In response, the university           studying.                                                                needs her dose of weekly social outings, and
tries to be fair and distributes parking spots to students            I don’t think I’m alone in needing to drive, many students           a person with tremendous aspirations with a
through a randomized “lottery” process, with the prices           live quite far from campus and still have to work, or even               disregard for defeat. These things are, I believe,
per semester ranging from $174 to $221. If, after the lottery     have a family to look after. They can’t afford to waste time             descriptions that can be applied to people of
ends, you weren’t a lucky winner you can either pay up $348       with public transportation, either.                                      virtually any race. So what’s with all the race la-
to $380 for a West Mall/Convocation Mall parking spot or              I reckon that SFU should ditch the lottery system for one of         beling being thrown in my direction? I am cer-
fight with the rest of the us losers each morning for a spot in   the cheaper lots next year, and instead offer those spots to stu-        tainly not living the way I’m living to be white
the Temporary Lot.                                                dents or faculty who have a sincere need to drive to campus.             or to be Asian, I’m simply living to be me.

                                                                                  the peak
  6         September 15, 2008                                                OPINIONS

Reader Response
Student Society staff useful, claims SFSS
Unionized employees do not “hold society ransom” as alleged, argues head of staff relations
Andrew Fergusson                            editor, Mr. McCullough, characterizes my          Let me be very clear that our staff’s shadow them for a day. The work they do
The Peak                                    style as aggressive and confrontational,      unions do not hold this society at ransom; is demanding, and how they manage in
                                            but I am trying to build a new relationship   we work extremely hard together trying a political environment with 14 bosses is
In last week’s issue, Student Society trea- between the SFSS and our staff’s unions.      to give you the students the best possible beyond me. If we, the directors and the
surer Anna Belkine published an article This relationship should be based on un-          service.                                       staff, fail to work together and understand
entitled “Five depressing truths about the derstanding, and common sense. I want              I personally apologize to anyone who each other’s needs by carelessly creating
SFSS.” This was an abridged version of to be able to say “we do our best for our          feels aggrieved by Anna’s article. It was conflict, the society’s good work will grind
Anna’s work report for the                                      people.”                  most certainly controversial when it was to a halt. I know none of our staff would
months of May and June,           Anyone working                    That means making     received, and remains so at this time.         like to see that, and I am pretty sure none
adopted by the board in July                                    a success of our com-         To anyone critical of our society’s re- of the directors would either.
with several directors dis-
                                     for the SFSS               mercial services like     lationship with our staff I simply say this:       Andrew Fergusson is the Internal Re-
senting. This work report would be crazy to the Highland Pub and                          anyone working for the SFSS would be lations Officer and Staff Liaison Officer
slammed our unions, our            do this just for             the SFSS Copy Cen-        crazy to do so just for the money. There is of the Simon Fraser Student Society
employees, and the SFSS’s re-                                   tre. How much better      no doubt in my mind that the
lationship with both.                  the money.               will morale be when       respect our staff show
    Now, Anna is the trea-                                      our services are in the   towards the society is
surer, and as such she has a great knowl- black? It also means ensuring our office        honest and genuine.
edge of the Society’s financial assets. But team get the best tools to do the best job        I challenge any-
I do not think she understands how great for students, and our organizing staff can       one who doubts
of an asset the employees are to the soci- provide departmental student unions with       the hard work
                                                                                                                  The logo of the Canadian Union of Public Employees, the labour
ety. I understand that The Peak opinions the best support possible.                       of our staff to
                                                                                                                  union to which all Student Society staff belong.

Readers respond to student president’s “sexist” fashion tips
J.J. McCullough                                             tutorial, breezing in looking like                                                       that Paling would add such a
Opinions Editor                                             Nancy Grace.” The two went on to de-                                                     statement to his little piece,
                                                            scribe Paling’s article as not only “in-                                                though. I am sure that in his
Last week’s “Super Special Guide to Everything SFU”         credibly impractical” but also “sexist                                                 perfect world all men would
issue contained an article written by Joe Paling, the al-   and elitist.”                                                                          walk around in collars and crew
ways outspoken, frequently controversial president of            “He might as well have said, ‘hey                                                cuts, so as to firmly establish the
the Student Society, entitled “How to dress for academic    ladies, lose a little weight, show a                                                  divide between masculine and
success.” In it, the prez advocated, among other things,    little tit, have my roast beef dinner                                                feminine.”
that female students should wear dresses and tops that      waiting for me when I get home, and                                                      McCulloch, who has long hair
“hug your body” and that “the best jewelry is pearls.”      the pearly gates of academia will                                                   himself, likewise insisted that
    “Thanks, but no thanks Joe,” wrote Nicole Bangloy.      swing open!’”                                                                       men with long hair are actually a
“Why don’t you try and walk around in a dress, wool              The outrage was not limited                                                    great deal more stylistically dis-
tights, and heels all day at school? I hope you enjoy the   to female readers, however. Loyal                                                   ciplined than their “lazy” short-
blisters.”                                                  reader Paul McCulloch (who has                                                      haired contemporaries.
    “Fashion is a very personal thing and is best when it   an editorial on the previous page)                                                       “The amount of effort it takes
is based on what you are comfortable in and accentu-        took issue at President Paling’s in-                                                to maintain hair of significant
ates your personality,” she added.                          stance that “excessively long hair                                                  length is considerable, but worth
    “Are you kidding me? Pearls? We’re in university!”      died with the hippies.”                                                           every second when you are fawned
wrote Jocelyne Leszczynski and Cara Davies in a joint            “To say that long hair on men died                                          over by a lovely young lady because
letter. “If Mr. Paling wants to buy me a strand of pearls   with the hippies is both ridiculous                                        of your luxurious locks.”
                                       then by gawd I’ll    and unfounded,” he wrote. “Long hair on men is not              Have you read something in The Peak recently that

 LSAT MCAT                             wear pearls to my
                                       8:30 a.m. Monday
                                                            a new phenomenon restricted to hippies, being fash-
                                                            ionable in many different periods. It is not surprising
                                                                                                                         makes you want to fire back? Email your letters to the
                                                                                                                         editor at

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                                                                                the peak
                                                                                       OPINIONS                                                                          September 15, 2008           7

The stupid cult of organic food
There’s not much evidence to suggest it’s any better for you — but don’t tell the fanatics
                                                                   understanding of radiation as the author of The Incredible
                                                                   Hulk, are promoting a food brand that prefers “earthiness” to
                                                                       But remember, honesty is the best policy. As satisfying
                                          Graham Templeton as it would be to be able to claim that the organic industry’s
                                                         The Peak rejection of science has come back to bite them in the ass, I
                                                                   don’t have access to the same depths of self-deception as the
I don’t think of SFU as a particularly hippy school. That is exponents of organic food. I’m forced to admit that, in real-
to say, it’s absolutely maggoty with hippies, but no more so ity, there’s nothing at all bad about it. Bear in mind that this
than every other university in the country. Even our religious is only true when organic farms are vastly outnumbered by
schools like Trinity West (and if there’s one redeeming feature ones spreading insecticides, using antibiotics, and irradiating
of religion, it’s that it brooks no hippies) are fairly rife with outgoing product. As it stands, the relatively small organic
patchouli-smelling hemp lovers. But one area where SFU does market can benefit from the environment created by more
seem to lead the hippy charge is the organic food market. Now, conscientious farmers, and still make its annoying claims to
let me be very clear. There is nothing wrong with organic food. moral superiority.
The problem with organic produce is that there’s nothing right         It must also be admitted that there are small kernels of truth
with it, either.                                                   to be found throughout the organic argument. For instance,
    The word organic, literally, simply means carbon-based, a there are certain growth hormones that have been reliably im-
definition that would encompass every crop                                                 plicated in issues of food safety. There
imaginable, up to and including those grown          Organic outlets love is also convincing evidence to suggest
in Halliburton-branded fields of nuclear waste.                                            that overuse of nutrient-loaded fertil-
The modern colloquial definition of organic,
                                                        to talk about how                  izers can actually lower soil quality in         organic industry has at least one thing in common with the
created by clever marketing experts, has some- imaginary buildups of the extreme long-run. But the impulse                                  cigarette companies: they’re more than willing to invent re-
thing close to the feel of the word “kosher.” imaginary toxins will to disregard all the advances in medi-                                  search to support their side of an issue. And while it’s certainly
Both are, in many ways, simply another brand,                                              cine, microbiology, and genetics, and            true that organic food has not been sprayed with pesticides,
in some aspects identical to conventional food        sap your energy, or to take agriculture back to the prac-                             there is also simply no toxic effect that can be linked to the
sources, in others subjected to nonsensical            some such blather. tices that saw an average life expec-                             tiny trace amounts of food-grade chemicals used to keep non-
standards for growth and refinement.                                                       tancy of 35, is simply inane. Go live            organic food free of disease. Organic outlets love to talk about
     Getting “organic certification” for food                                              with the Amish.                                  how this imaginary buildup of imaginary toxins will sap you of
products is a bit like getting into the mob; it’s more about           But what bothers me most about this movement is its                  energy, or some such blather. This talk of ‘toxins’ is the kind of
proving loyalty than anything else. It’s about jumping through smugness. Nature’s Garden, the organic deli at SFU’s Corner-                 nonsense that leads people to think that regular enemas are
hoops. Fields are generally required to have been free of syn- stone, is run by a very nice couple who sell coffee for the best             good for their health.
thetic chemicals, (impossible, but whatever) for three or more prices on campus. I like Nature’s Garden. It’s nice. But their ob-               All organic standards really do is make the whole pro-
years. Livestock are not allowed to be given regular courses session with organic is not only obnoxious, it’s insulting. Their              duction process a huge pain in the ass for farmers, far
of antibiotics, crops may not be fertilized with anything but website makes the following claim: “Organic food is, quite                    less efficient, and far more expensive. It isn’t hurting the
good, moral horse shit, and you can’t even whisper the words simply, the best for your personal health! Its [sic] free of pesti-            quality of the food much, so organic food is really fine for
“radiation” or “genetics” around an organic farm.                  cides and herbicides. This is obviously very important to our            the consumer. Even if it is more expensive, it’s just dandy.
    Now, bear in mind that the general practices of medicating bodies. Good stuff in — good stuff out.” But is any of that true?            But they need to stop shoving their stupid marketing cam-
livestock, spreading artificially enriched fertilizers, irradiat-      While the organic industry constantly ballyhoos their find-          paign down my throat. It’s nonsense. At least Abercrombie
ing foods, and modifying food species are all directly respon- ings that organic food is as much as 25 per cent more nutri-                 & Fitch have the decency to tell you up front what they
sible, among other things, for our quality of life. Only a society tious than conventional foods, these results have somehow                are: a brand. Organic has tried to gain the status of a true
that modern agricultural science has made this overstuffed never been reproduced by any non-organic research centre.                        movement, some sort of gastrointestinal means of sticking
with quality food could possibly have the luxury of deciding About as many found it to be actually less nutritious, and                     it to the man.
to charge more, for less. People with about as nuanced an never was the deviation statistically significant. Ironically, the                    Cut it out. It’s annoying. And beyond that, it’s insulting.

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                                more than just dollars.

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                                                                                OPINIONS                                                              September 15, 2008             9
Challenges still abound for McCain, Obama
As U.S. election enters final stretch, both candidates need to address their critics
John Wong                                                        Indiana. Now, Clinton lost this state                                    The Palin pick seems to underline a broader,
The Peak                                                         both times (albeit narrowly) but Bush                                   troubling pattern with McCain’s campaign,
                                                                 II won this state twice with huge                                          namely his lack of message discipline born
As we get into the final stretch of the election, Barack margins. Indiana, by its position,                                                    by his inability to find a coherent theme
Obama and McCain both have few mistakes. Both have is currently the most conser-                                                                  and stick with it. Although it would fool-
kept the race close. However, there can be only one win- vative Midwestern state.                                                                   hardy for McCain to stick to a bad
ner. There is much both still have to work on, some of What makes Obama                                                                               message, over the course of this
which will ultimately cost one of them the election.             think he should                                                                     election alone he has switched from
     Barack Obama still has quite a few problems. The ap- contest Indiana,                                                                          Maverick Reformer, to Mainstream
pearance of Barack Obama on the national stage is a very but not Arkansas?                                                                        Republican, to Bush Republican, then
                                   recent phenomenon, we The only reason I                                                                      back to Mainstream Republican, then
                                      must remember. Until can think of is that the                                                           back to Maverick Reform again. This is just
                                         his run for the presi- Obama Camp is trying                                                        confusing, and it makes McCain look contra-
                                           dency, no one some bold “new” strategy                                                         dictory, conflicted, hypocritical, and at worst,
                                            outside of Illinois on traditionally conservative                                         desperate.
                                            would have even states. It is an interesting strat-                                      McCain’s electoral problems are intriguing. Although
                                             recognized his egy, but it makes me wonder why he             would              his recent convention greatly helped draw conservative in-
                                              face, much less risk giving up more reliable states in the process.            dependents and Republicans back to his side, he still is a bit
                                              his name. His         Now McCain has his own problems as well. The most        too weak with them. It is still possible (though unlikely) that
                                               primary run did obvious is his 72-year-old age. Now I am not generally        he might even manage to
                                             a great job of in- against people being “too old” to be president, but con-     lose non-Southern Republi-
                                             troducing himself sidering his time in Vietnam, and his past skin cancer        can states where state-level
                                           to Democratic vot- problems, there is a more than possible chance that            Republicans are doing
                                        ers, but he still needs he is going to die in office. Nothing wrong with that,       poorly.
                                     to introduce himself to either — except that his vice president is Sarah Palin.             There can only be
                                 everyone else.                                            Now, if the McCain people         winner in the end. Years
             Today, while voters may recog-                 McCain’s lack of               think that Obama has no ex-       from now, when we
nize his face and name, they still are lack-                                               perience in foreign policy, and   look back at this elec-
ing serious knowledge about his positions on             message discipline very little experience in gov-                   tion it will be easy to
the major issues. Both Obama supporters and                  is born by his                ernment in general, then Palin,   see what both candi-
opponents alike, for instance, believe that                                                by their own standards, is even   dates did wrong. We’ll
Barack Obama wants the U.S. to leave Iraq
                                                           inability to find a             is less experienced. She has      have to see if future
immediately. However, Obama has insisted                coherent theme and only been a Governor of Alaska                    candidates can learn
that he will ask the army to leave only under                 stick with it.               for two years. Before that, she   not to repeat those
the a timetable of their choosing, albeit one                                              was a small-town mayor and        same mistakes, and
that was the fastest. After visiting Iraq, he said                                         city councillor. If McCain dies   more importantly, take
an ideal pullout could take as long as two years. He’s in office, we could very well have a president that has               note of what both men did
also stated that he believes that abortion is wrong when no foreign policy experience, and almost no experience              right, and try and emulate their results.
sought for reasons of mere “mental distress.” How many dealing with complex domestic issues in the mainland                      John Wong is a political science major currently study-
of his supporters know that?                                     United States.                                              ing at the University of California, San Francisco
     Contrary to popular conception, Obama also has very
sub par debate skills. He is fond of subtlety and nuance,
which can be admirable, but in a time-limited setting,
it’s more important to firmly and unequivocally estab-
lish what you don’t believe in, what you do believe in,
and why you think your opponent’s position is wrong.
Obama’s obvious charisma in giving speeches simply
does not transfer well to the debate format. He was lucky
that Hillary went easy on him during the primary de-
bates, but Hillary’s light volleys will not prepare him well
for what is to come.
     Obama’s other main weakness is his campaign’s lack
of focus on some key battleground states. For example,
consider Obama’s apparent lack of interest in contesting
Arkansas, even though its current governor, lieutenant-
governor, attorney-general, both senators, and three out
of four representatives are all Democrats. Clinton likewise
won this state handily twice, while George W. Bush only
won it narrowly.
     In fact,
W.      Bush
only won
this state
with 1 per
cent more
than he
did in Mis-
souri in 2004,
where he got 53
per cent to 46 per
cent against Kerry.
Yet, Obama is contest-
ing Missouri but not
Arkansas. What gives?
     Another wrinkle to this
irony is that Obama is ap-
parently plans to contest

                                                                                     the peak
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                September 15, 2008
                                                                                                                        news editor               Sam Norris
                                                                                                                        associate news editior    Carolina Dubanik

                                                                                                                        phone                     778.782.3597

Campus News

Chartwells reduces                                                                                                                         SFSS
                                                                                                                                           funds voter
meal card options
Residents annoyed by limited candy choices
                                                                                                                                           Carolina Dubanik
                                                                                                                                           Associate News Editor

                                                                                                                                           The Simon Fraser Student Society’s advo-
                                                                                                                                           cacy committee voted last week to dedi-
                                                                                                                                           cate at least $2000 to a campaign designed
                                                                                                                                           to raise awareness of the upcoming federal
                                                                                                                                                The campaign will mostly be centered
                                                                                                                                           around making students aware of the elec-
                                                                                                                                           tion, including having booths on campus
                                                                                                                                           registering students to vote.
                                                                                                                                                External Relations Officer Natalie Bock-
                                                                                                                                           ing felt that simply making students aware
                                                                                                                                           of the election was critical to increasing stu-
                                                                                                                                           dent involvement.
                                                                                                                                                “It’s mostly going to be raising aware-
                                                                                                                                           ness among students, so that students have
                                                                                                                                           an impact in how the vote goes,” said Bock-
                                                                                                                                           ing. “Statistically, usually around 25 per cent
                                                                                                                                           of students vote, according to Statscan, so
                                                                                                                                           it’s a really big issue,” she said.
                                                                                                                                                “Just getting students to vote will be one
                                                                                                                                           of the big things, registering students to
                                                                                                                                           vote. People are much more likely to vote if
                                                                                                                                           they’re registered,” she added.
                                                                                                                                                Response to the news amongst political
                                                                                                                                           groups on campus was generally positive.
                                                                                                                                                Robin Steudel, co-chair of the B.C. Young
                                                                                                                                           New Democrats, expressed enthusiasm at
                                                                                                                                           the news.
                                                                                                                                                “I hope that it will increase student turn-
                                                                                                                                           out,” she commented.
                                                                                                                                                Ozren Jungic, president of the SFU
                                                                                                                                           Young Liberals of Canada, was also positive.
                                                                                                                                           “The Young Liberals at SFU are in favor of
                                                                                                                                           any non-partisan political awareness cam-
                                                                                                                                           paign,” he said.
                                                                                                             Courtesy of Ryan Woodland          Jungic continued on to discuss the un-
The meager selection of snacks at the Dining Hall.                                                                                         der-representation of youth voters at the
                                                                                                                                                “In the last election, only 44 per cent
                                              business, as it is more efficient to        considering how unhappy everyone is in           of youth aged 18 to 24 voted, whereas the
                                              provide those items in a vending for-       the first place being forced into the meal       national average was 65 per cent. Anything
                       Carolina Dubanik                                                   plan. And now reducing the options even          that encourages students to become more
                                              mat than in the other portions of the
                                              cafeteria.                                  further is inexcusable,” he added.               aware and participate is something that I
                                  News Editor
                                                 Brown told The Peak that when mak-           Other students felt that while the           would support,” he stated.
A recent change at the Residence Din-         ing the decision, the meal plan had not     changes perhaps weren’t the most                      In addition to raising general awareness
ing Hall has been upsetting students — been fully considered.                             pressing issue, they were nonetheless            about the election, the campaign will also
those who noticed it, at least. Chartwells,      “You know, that’s actually one of the    unpleasant.                                      aim to educate students about the major
which has historically sold chips and things that I didn’t even think about,”                 “It’s something frivolous, it’s not a        policy issues that are deemed to be of most
candy bars in the central portion of the said Brown in regards to the loss of op-         necessity, but when I had the meal plan          relevance to students.
dining hall, has introduced a vending tions for Residence students. “I’m going            I did end up spending a lot of money on               “People will vote if it’s important, so
machine, forcing students interested in to have to revisit that, I know that we’ve        candy bars, mainly because I had too             highlighting the way it affects them, in
purchasing a chocolate bar do so out- got a small selection of candy bars in the          much money on my meal plan,” said                terms of student issues, is a way to get them
side of their meal plan.                      Residence Hall now, and we might have       Lindsey Ogston, a 3rd-year resident.             to vote,” Bocking commented.
    According to Richard Brown, the to just continue to include a little bit                  “It would be fine in Mackenzie or                 While the SFSS will not be taking a
director of dining services at SFU, the of that. Isn’t that funny, we didn’t even         Ravens, but not here in the dining hall,”        stance on most policy issues, it has taken
change was introduced as a way to im- think of that,” he added.                           she added.                                       an official position on several issues, which
prove service, rather than limit options.        For Drew Redman, one of the many             Addressing the issue of congestion           are detailed in their policy manual. These
    “It takes a lot of congestion away students on the meal plan, the change              and decreasing lines, Redman felt that           issues include, amongst others, opposition
from the cafeteria. There’s an awful lot was unpleasant, but not a shock.                 this was not the students’ top concern.          to deregulation of tuition fees, opposition to
of kids milling around, so we try to do          “It’s a really sneaky way to reduce      Referring to the common complaint on             differential tuition fees for students, as well
all we can in the confines of that unit to our options, they did something simi-          campus that the prices at Chartwells lo-         as opposition to for- profit private student
direct people to different areas,” Brown lar last year when they switched from            cations are unreasonably high, he ex-            loans.
said.                                         glass juice bottles to plastic, which are   plained, “I have yet to see one person                In addition, the Student Society has
    He also stated that the decision was smaller, but kept charging us the same           be annoyed when the line-up is huge.             added a page to their website providing
affected by the high cost of the con- prices,” Redman explained.                          People don’t hate line-ups, they hate the        more detailed information on this year’s
fectionary portion of the Chartwell’s            “I think it’s pretty ridiculous          prices.”                                         federal election.

                                                                                  the peak
12           September 15, 2008                                                             NEWS

Campus News

Record turnout at Club Days
Gordon Campbell, 180 clubs join the festivities in Convo Mall

                                        been a successful Club Days.           B.C. Premier Gordon Campbell,               Cheerleading Club as well as a        Radicals.
                                            “Everything [I’d like to see] is   who stopped by for a brief visit            clutch of newcomers.                      “The idea of the club is to help
                         Sam Norris     here already,” said Mara Narciso,      Wednesday afternoon.                           “The pool at school is boring,”    people have fun,” explained Amir
                         News Editor    a 3rd-year Business student. “I              “It’s lively here, and it’s nice to   said Brad Woods. “I think a lot of    Mosseini over loud club music.
                                        think it’s good.”                      be here,” said Campbell, an SFU             people would like having pool             Apparently students were con-
Last week’s Club Days was the               Narciso joined a volunteering      alumnus.                                    parties.”                             vinced: the club signed up over
busiest SFU has ever seen, ac-          club, and was looking to join the            “I feel like there’s a lot more          Sitting under a banner reading     100 new members in just two
cording to Simon Fraser Student         Catholic Christian Outeach club.       diversity [than when I was here,]           “Pool Party Club,” Woods insisted     hours.
Society general office coordinator          Ben Berman, a 5th-year Politi-     . . . immigration’s been picking up         that the club’s official name was         Through dress-up days, bar-
Rena Hood-Lundrie.                      cal Science student, was less posi-    again over the last few years, and I        the “Aquatic Resources Club.”         beques, and parties, the self-pro-
    Approximately 130 tables            tive about the event.                  think it’s actually pretty exciting,”          The club plans on throw-           claimed “fun factory” hopes to
were available for clubs on Tues-           “It was pretty average,” he        he added.                                   ing several pool parties this fall,   “lower the suicide rate” at SFU.
day, Wednesday, and Thursday,           said. “There should be clubs that            As usual, Club Days included          hopefully with live DJs.                  The group plans to hold its
though each club was only enti-         are more provocative and contro-       many established clubs like the                Another new club hoping to         first big event in the next few
tled to two days of tabling. Hood-      versial. . . there’s nothing to be     Canadianized Asian Club and the             make a splash on campus is the        weeks.
Lundrie estimated the total count       passionate about here.”
at about 180. Exact numbers were            However, Berman joined “a
not available as The Peak went to       couple humanitarian clubs,” as
press.                                  well as the Conservative Party of
    Last year approximately 160         Canada club.
clubs booked tables during Club             All of the other three national
Days.                                   political parties (Liberals, New
    “The tables were full for the en-   Democrats, and Greens) had also
tire time, even at 3:00 [p.m.] on the   booked tables and were actively
Thursday,” Hood-Lundrie added.          recruiting members in the run-up
    Students interviewed for this       to the October 14 election.
article generally agreed that it had        Club Days even attracted

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               BC/Yukon Region
         2008 Breast Cancer Research
      Postgraduate Fellowship Competition
      All qualified candidates are invited to apply for funding
      to study breast health and breast cancer.

      Funding is available through the Canadian Breast
      Cancer Foundation, BC/Yukon Region Fellowship
      Program. The program aims to foster independent
      breast cancer research in BC, and is intended for
      qualified health care professionals, MD graduates
      or recent PhD graduates to begin their careers
      as independent, social, clinical or basic science
      investigators in breast cancer research. Two
      fellowship awards are available with each one totaling
      up to $ 80,000 per year for one or two years.
      Candidates from all research disciplines are
      encouraged to apply. For more information or to
      submit an application please visit
      bcyukon or contact Haifa Staiti, Manager of Grant
      Allocations at 604.683.2873 ext. 239 or hstaiti@cbcf.
      The deadline for submissions is November 3, 2008.

      The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation is the leading national
      volunteer-based organization dedicated to creating a future
      without breast cancer. In March 2007, The Summit: 2020 – The
      Future Without Breast Cancer was held involving British Columbia’s
      leaders in cancer care and women’s health. Five recommended
      areas of focus were reached, and a task force has recently begun
      working to address the areas of prevention, early detection,
      treatment, research and emerging health care workforce issues.

                                                                                                                                                                                 Courtesy of Jenny Waters
                                                                               The Ski Club gets ready for the upcoming season.

                                                                                         the peak
                 Annual General Meeting
                   of the Simon Fraser Student Society
                      3:30pm, October 7, 2008
         in the Atrium Cafeteria, Maggie Benston Centre
             Simon Fraser University, Burnaby Campus

Meeting Agenda:                                              5. Report from the Ombudsperson
                                                             A report will be presented detailing the activities of the
1. Call to Order                                             Ombudsperson from October 11, 2007 through October 7,
  e Meeting will be called to order by SFSS president Joe    2008.
                                                             6. Report from the Board of Directors
2. Rati cation of the Chair                                  A report will be presented detailing the activities of the
  e members will nominate and ratify a Chairperson for the   Board of Directors from October 11, 2007 through October
General Meeting.                                             7, 2008.

3. Adoption of the Agenda and Review of                      7. Report from the Treasurer
Meeting Rules                                                  e Student Society Treasurer will provide an overview
                                                             of the Student Society’s finances from October 11, 2007
  e meeting will consider the agenda prepared by the Board   through October 7, 2008.
of Directors. Changes or additions to the agenda may be
proposed at this time.
                                                             8. Report from the Auditor
  e Chairperson will provide a brief overview of Robert’s
                                                             An overview of the Student Society’s audited financial
Rules of Order, a system of meeting rules and procedures
                                                             statements will be provided by the Society’s auditor –
that the Student Society employs for the general meeting.
                                                             Tompkins, Wozny, Miller & Co.
  e Board of Directors is recommending that debate at the
meeting be limited to three speakers in favour of a motion
and three speakers in opposition to a motion.                9. Appointment of the Auditor for 08-09 Year
                                                               e auditor responsible for the coming year’s audited
4. Adoption of Previous Meetings’ Minutes                    financial statements will be appointed.   e Board of
                                                             Directors recommends the re-appointment of Tompkins,
Minutes from the October 10, 2007 General Meeting are
                                                             Wozny, Miller & Co.
available for adoption.

                                                             10. Adjournment

14               September 15, 2008                                                                   NEWS

Provincial News

Court gives Cap College anti-
abortion group right to life
Group had previously been denied club status by student society
Derek A. Jang                               campus.                                        on the CSU’s discrimination            coordinator for the Union, is-     recognition in December 2007,
Capilano Courier                               This settlement concludes a                 policy, which states: “Clubs           sued an online statement: “The     Macapagal filed a human rights
(Capilano University)                       battle that began more than two                may not perpetrate conduct in-         [Heartbeat Club was] denied        complaint on the basis of reli-
                                            years ago when the Heartbeat                   citing hatred towards other per-       club status primarily out of re-   gious discrimination.
VANCOUVER (CUP) – After                     Club sought official club sta-                 sons or groups including, but          spect for the human rights of          In May, the club signed a for-
a lengthy legal struggle with               tus with the Capilano Students’                not limited to, racist, sexist, mi-    women not to be threatened         mal agreement with the Union
the students’ union at Capi-                Union (CSU) in March 2006.                     sogynist, or homophobic/het-           with the profound discrimina-      that will allow it to apply for of-
lano University in Vancouver, a                The group, led by Capilano                  erosexist behavior.”                   tion of having control over our    ficial club status. The Heartbeat
pro-life group has earned the               student Minerva Macapagal,                         In the spring of 2008, Lind-       bodies taken away.”                Club plans to apply within the
right to apply for club status on           was denied club status based                   say Clarke, then-social justice           After the second denial of      first two weeks of classes.
                                                                                                                                                                         “I think that it was a shame
                                                                                                                                                                     that the CSU had to go through
                                                                                                                                                                     the lawsuit, but I’m really look-
     HEADLINE                                                                                                                                                        ing forward to our club having
                                                                                                                                                                     the same rights as the other

                                                                                                                                                                     clubs,” Macapagal said.
                                                                                                                                                                         She declined to comment
                                                                                                                                                                     on details of the agreement,
                                                                                                                                                                     but adds she is happy with the

     ENERGY CONSERVATION                                                                                                                                             settlement.
                                                                                                                                                                         Several attempts were made
                                                                                                                                                                     at obtaining further details

                                                                                                                                                                     about the agreement from CSU
                                                                                                                                                                     officials, but due to the confi-
                                                                                                                                                                     dentiality agreement reached

                                                                                                                                                                     between the two sides, stu-
                                                                                                                                                                     dent representatives declined

                                                                                                                                                                         The Union was only able
                                                                                                                                                                     to release the following state-
                                                                                                                                                                     ment: “The Heartbeat Club

                                                                                                                                                                     filed a Human Rights complaint
                                                                                                                                                                     against the Capilano Students’
                                                                                                                                                                     Union. The Club and the CSU
                                                                                                                                                                     have entered into a settlement
                                                                                                                                                                     agreement which is confiden-
                                                                                                                                                                     tial. The parties agree that there
                                                                                                                                                                     is no admission of liability by
                                                                                                                                                                     the CSU and that the Heartbeat
                                                                                                                                                                     Club will be entitled to CSU
                                                                                                                                                                     club status if they apply.”
                                                                                                                                                                         Official on-campus organi-
                                                                                                                                                                     zations have the right to put
                                                                                                                                                                     up posters and book rooms for
                                                                                                                                                                         SFU has had several pro-life
                                                                                                                                                                     groups in the last few years.


     Win $2,500 for your energy conservation idea.
     Go to

     PARTNER LOGOS                                                                                                               BRAND AWARENESS

                                                                                                                                                                                     Courtesy of
                                                                                                                                                                     To the outrage of pro-life
                                                                                                                                                                     groups, Dr. Henry Morgentaler
                                                                                                                                                                     was awarded the Order of
                                                                                                                                                                     Canada earlier this year.

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                                                                                               NEWS                            September 15, 2008      15
Student Profile

20 questions with Panther Kuol
The Simon Fraser Student Society’s Chief Electoral Officer discusses democracy and growing up in Sudan

1) What is         your    greatest      8) What is something surprising            There is great suffering throughout
achievement?                             that people may not know about             the country that has not been ex-
                                         you?                                       posed. I am happy that it is getting
I came to Canada and to SFU on a                                                    media attention, but I wish that
scholarship which was very com-          Sometimes, I can have a temper.            the attention could be extended to
petitive and based on my academ-         If someone doesn’t show respect,           other parts of the country as well.
ics from my schooling in Kenya. The      I don’t appreciate it and I will tell      It has been getting the spotlight but
scholarship was funded by the Stu-       them.                                      there are struggles and oppression
dent Refugee Program here at SFU.                                                   everywhere.
                                         9) What character traits do you
2) Your greatest regret?                 find most offensive in people?             16) What’s been your toughest
                                                                                    struggle in life?
Originally when I came to SFU, I         Gossiping and people who like to
didn’t choose my major very well.        show off bother me. Also, people           My life has always been a struggle.
I now know that I want to major in       who pretend to be something they           In Canada it is easier but I still have
something related to business and        are not.                                   challenges. I still have to get through
computers.                                                                          my school and I am offered many
                                         10) What is the most ridiculous            opportunities here, but I have to
3) As a child, what was your fa-         thing you own?                             work for them. However, compared
vourite toy?                                                                        to many people I know I feel very
                                         My car. It is very old, a 1991 Mazda       privileged to be given the opportu-
I never had a toy growing up.            Protégé with over 400,000 miles on         nities I have.
I would play with other kids; run        it. I used it to learn how to drive, but
around and play games. It is very        it recently broke down.                    17) Where do you see yourself in
different from here, our games are                                                  ten years?
much different. Now, when I see a        11) Favourite season and why?
toy gun or something like that I get                                                I want to be in a consultant, setting
excited because I never had them         I like the winter because it is differ-    up my own business . . . somewhere
growing up.                              ent from back home. I hadn’t seen          where I can help people, either here
                                         snow before coming to Canada. The          or in Africa. I have always felt very
4) What was your first job?              rain can get depressing but it is bet-     privileged and lucky for having
                                         ter than the heat.                         what I do, so ultimately I want to
In Toronto I worked at Mercer                                                       give back . . . if I could, I would love
Human Resource Consulting as a           12) Favourite genre of music and           to be a liberator, a peacemaker, one
co-op job. That was my first job in      favorite artist?                           day.
Canada. Back home in Kenya, I vol-
unteered as a high school teacher.       I go clubbing and I like hip hop and       18) What was the best job that
                                         R&B. I don’t have a specific favourite     you ever had?
5) What’s the most recent book           artist, but I like people who have an
you have read?                           educated message to give, like Nas.        The job I am doing now at SFU as
                                                                                    Chief Electoral Officer of the SFSS.
I haven’t read any books recently.       13) What quality do you look for in        I am very motivated to get as many
Since I have been at SFU I have          a romantic partner?                        students to vote as possible.
been focused on academics so most
of my information comes from the         I currently have a girlfriend, but I       19) How do you intend to get more
internet. I am interested in com-        firstly have to connect with the per-      students to vote?
puter-based things and I read a lot      son. To me, the inner qualities of a
of journals and magazines. I like to     person are the most important.             We’re trying to create more aware-
follow global events, wars, et cetera.                                              ness by any means we can; through
                                         14) Who is the political leader you        posters, talking to students in
6) What is your favourite food?          most look up to?                           classes, doing promotions through
                                                                                    the arts and in The Peak. Also, we
I always struggle with this question.    I have so many leaders in my mind          are trying to remove the [mistaken
I like meat, and I always try a little   because I pick many good qualities         belief] that decisions are made by a
bit of everything. When I first came     from various leaders. Some of the          group of insiders.
to Canada I struggled with the food      major ones are Nelson Mandela, for
here. It’s not that I prefer my own I    the struggle, as well as those fight-      20) What do you hope to do as
am just more comfortable with it.        ing the oppressive regime in Sudan.        Chief Electoral Officer?
I like spicy food and my favourite       Also, leaders like Obama inspire me
dish is pesto chicken.                   to initiate change.                        I hope to get every single student to
                                                                                    vote and to make their voices heard.
7) What would your perfect day           15) How do you feel about what is          Also, I want to be more transparent.
entail?                                  happening in Darfur and the media          I am taking after [ex-Chief Electoral
                                         attention it is receiving?                 Officer] J.J. [McCullough] in that I
I would be sitting by the water. I was                                              liked the way he was a leader not a
born close to the Nile, so I like the    Because I am from Sudan I know             ruler. I want to be able to apply the
water and I would like a peaceful        that my country has been at war            rules but maintain friendships.
setting to enjoy the view and the        for over 20 years so I don’t like to
environment.                             think about Darfur specifically.                     Interview by Jessica Todd                     Andy Fang / The Peak

                                                                                               the peak
  16                            September 15, 2008                                                                                                NEWS

Campus News

Students welcome new
dining options on campus
Some Cornerstone retailers dismayed by arrival of franchise restaurants
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        that discouraged chains. How-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        eve, his assertion was later be-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        lied by Tinney.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            “Everyone knew about the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        [guidelines,]” he said.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            In addition to the new Sub-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        way, Lee cited a number of other
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        grievances his business had with
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        the Trust, including an alleged
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        broken promise to adequately
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        advertise the Viewpoint Market
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        on campus.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Viewpoint Market and the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Community Trust are currently
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        involved in a lawsuit. The pos-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        sible ramifications of the case
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        are unclear, however, as both
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Lee and Tinney declined to com-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        ment further.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            “There’s lineups outside Re-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        naissance . . . and more people
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        at Cornerstone. The Subway will
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        draw students from the campus
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        side to the Cornerstone side . . .
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        and benefit the rest of the retail-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        ers as well,” said Tinney.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Whether or not spill-over
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        benefits materialize for the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        other retailers, the new Sub-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        way has proved popular among
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            “I like it because I’m a huge
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Andy Fang / The Peak   Subway fan,” said Max Kelly, a
                                                                               !!!                                                    Lunch is served at the new Subway in Renaissance Coffee.                          3rd-year Chemistry student.
              !                                                                                                                       Sam Norris                              Dolores. He also said that more               “It might provide some com-
                                                                  AWARDS FOR!
                                                                                                                                      News Editor                             chains would be difficult to stop         petition for Chartwells,” he
                                                           !!!!!!!"#$"%%"&$"!'&!(")$*'&+!                                                                                     once a precedent had been set.            added.
                                               &56789:758;!9<=!85>!?=78@!9AA=B:=C!D5<!)>9<C;!D5<!*EA=FF=8A=!78!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After
                                                                                                                                             years of limited dining op-          “Once you got the nose of the             Rachel Hemminger, a 5th-
                                                                                                                                      tions and countless letters of          camel in under the tent . . . you         year, echoed similar sentiments.

                            !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)FF!A58:78I78@!DIFF!98C!B9<:J:76=!D9AIF:K!6=6?=<;!L:=8I<=C!98C!:=8I<=J:<9AM!           complaint to this newspaper,            got the whole bloody camel in,”               “It’ll be a nice break from
                            !!!!!!!!!!!!! !B<5D=;;5<;N!F=A:I<=<;N!98C!F9?!78;:<IA:5<;O!>G5!G9P=!:9I@G:!9!67876I6!5D!Q!!
                            !!!!!!!!!!!!! !K=9<;!9:!"7658!'<9;=<!+87P=<;7:K!9<=!=F7@7?F=!D5<!:G=!9>9<C;H!                             students will have two more fast        he said.                                  Chartwells . . . but tough for
                                               !                                                                                      food options to choose from in              Since Cornerstone opened in           other businesses,” she said.
                                               !98CR5<!D9AIF:KH!!                                                                     the coming year.                        1995, there’s been a “guideline               As soon as January, students
                                                         !!!                                                                              A Subway opened in the Cor-         of encouraging independent re-            may also have the option of Tim
              !!!                                                                                                                     nerstone location of Renais-            tailers,” according to Jonathan           Horton’s on campus.
                                                                    !!!!!!!!!!!!9:;<12=;.>!$/??;..11!@/2!.A1!                         sance two weeks ago, drawing            Tinney, Director of Community                 “It“s a matter of provid-
                                                        !!!!!!!!!!!-H/!,@@;-1!/@!.A1!I;-1JK21=;G1:.5!)-DG1?;-!                        long lines every day.                   Development at the Community              ing more choices,“ said Denis
                                                                                                                                          “It’s been very well received,”     Trust. Tinney said that other ap-         Bérubé, Assistant Vice President,
                                                                                              !                                       said Parminder Singh Parhar,            plications would be assessed on           Adminstration and Ancillaries.
                                            !!!!!!!!!!!KA/:1R!STT8U!T86JVW64!!!                      !!!!!!!!MDBR!STT8U!T86J48TQ!
                                                                                                                                      owner of Renaissance Coffee.            a “case-by-case” basis.                       Although plans have yet to

                            !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#8AFIC=!K5I<!896=N!9CC<=;;!98C!:=F=BG58=!8I6?=<N!98C!<=9;58;!!                         “For those who are on a fixed               Since the guideline was               be finalized, the university is
                                                               !!!                                                                    budget, this is a very positive         never written down, different             working “in principle” to replace
                                                -G=!>788=<;!5D!:G=!)>9<C;!>7FF!?=!;=F=A:=C!?9;=C!IB58!:G=!D5FF5>78@!!!!!!!            thing.”                                 interpretations of what it means          Raven’s Cafeteria with a Tim
                                                                                                                                          Other Cornerstone retailers,        abound.                                   Horton’s. Since the proposed lo-
                                          !!!!!!!!!!T!)?7F7:K!:5!;:76IF9:=!;:IC=8:;!:5!:G78M!A<=9:7P=FK!98C!A<7:7A9FFK!!              however, were dismayed that the             “Anybody who’s run a busi-            cation is in the university proper,
                                          !!!!!!!!!!T!)?7F7:K!:5!B<=;=8:!A56BF=E!78D5<69:758!AF=9<FK!!                                SFU Community Trust, which              ness up here will tell you: [the          it will not be under the purview
                                          !!!!!!!!!!T!4=658;:<9:=C!=8:GI;79;6!98C!7885P9:758!78!:=9AG78@!!                            oversees Cornerstone, had vio-          Community Trust] promised no              of the SFU Community Trust.
                                          !!!!!!!!!!T!47P=<;7:K!5D!A5I<;=!F=P=F!!!                                                    lated a long-standing under-            chains or franchises,” said James             The franchise will be oper-
                                                                                                                                      standing that chains would be           Lee, who co-owns the Viewpoint            ated by Chartwell’s, though
                                           !!!!78!-=9AG78@!)>9<C;!A98!?=!D5I8C!58!5I<!>=?;7:=!9:S!                                    excluded from the development           Market with his brother Sam.              prices will be identical to other
                                                                                                                                      by allowing Parhar to open a                “There is no rule we had              locations, as stipulated by Tim
                                               L.D:G;:EY$/??;..11=H(1D-A;:EJ"B-1CC1:-1H!                                              Subway in Renaissance.                  against franchises,” Tinney               Horton’s.
                                               %<!K5I!69K!A58:9A:!:G=!%DD7A=!5D!:G=!,7A=JV<=;7C=8:N!)A9C=67A!9:!                          “The community wanted the           emphasized in a subsequent                    Bérubé said that in a student
                                                                                                                                      development to be something             interview.                                survey conducted by Chartwell’s,
                                                                                                                                      different,” said Bill Storness-             In an interview with The              Tim Horton’s was the top pick
                                                                                                                                      Bliss, who owns Nature’s Gar-           Peak, Parhar denied that he had           for fast food franchises they’d
                                                                                                                                      den Deli together with his wife,        any knowledge of any guideline            like to have on campus.

                                                                                                                                                 the peak
                                                                                     NEWS                                                         September 15, 2008             17
Campus News

UniverCity eyes bigger things
New housing, elementary school, grocery store and farmer’s market aim to increase community on the hill

                                                                                                                                                                       Courtesy of Steve Fan
Students browse for locally grown produce at the Pocket Farmer’s Market at Cornerstone.

Kendra Wong                            another 1400 students living in      anticipating the opening of the     Community Development, the          October 29.
Associate Staff Contributor            residence on the hill. 110 new       Pocket Farmer’s Market where        SFU Sustainable Advisory Com-          Vendors including Glen Val-
                                       units in The Hub and a little        workers, including organizer        mittee, SFU Community trust,        ley Organic Farm, Silver Hill
SFU students now have another          over 150 in Altaire Towers will      Kara Bowen, promoted the            Chartwells Dining Services, and     Apple Orchid, and Nature’s Gar-
reason to be excited to start school   bring another approximately          importance of locally grown         Coquitlam’s Farmer Market,          den also provided their support
in the fall of 2010. Not only will     400 residents to the mountain;       produce.                            students will be able to enjoy      in the form of goods for the
students have the winter Olym-         students who want to live on              “It’s not a typical farmer’s   locally grown produce every         event.
pics to look forward to, but SFU’s     the hill while attending SFU         market,” said Bowen. “Usually       Wednesday from 12 to5 until
Cornerstone is now in the process      will have even more options to       you have the farmers coming up
of expanding to include a variety      choose from.                         here to sell their produce. What
of new restaurants, a full service         Burnaby Mountain will also       we’re doing is buying directly
grocery store, more housing,           get an elementary school in the      from the farmers — we drive
and an elementary school. SFU          East Academic Annex, sched-          out to their farms and then we
hopes all these developments will      uled to open for September           bring it up here on campus and
                                                                                                                    NOTICE OF STUDENT ELECTION – FALL 2008
contribute to a more sustainable       2010.                                sell it for them.”                      NOMINATIONS ARE OPEN FOR STUDENT
community.                                 “It’s a big step forward, both        Bowen explained the main           REPRESENTATIVES TO SENATE
    The expansion of Corner-           from a community perspective         goal of the event is to “bring as
                                                                                                                    Two Students (one of whom must be from the Faculty of
stone, scheduled to be com-            and a sustainability perspec-        much locally grown and made             Applied Sciences, and one of whom must be from the
pleted in the spring or sum-           tive,” said Tilley. An estimated     food up to campus as possible           Faculty of Business Administration) to be elected to Senate
mer of 2009 (just in time for          275 children will attend the         . . . we want to try to educate         for terms of office to May 31, 2009. Information with respect
the fall semester) will include        school, 90 of which are already      people about where their food           to Senate posted at
a new tanning salon, a Korean          living on the mountain in Uni-       is coming from and just how
fast food outlet, and a Chinese        verCity and SFU’s family resi-       it’s grown, who is growing it for       NOMINATION FORMS AND ELECTION DETAILS
restaurant.                            dence, Louis Riel House.             them and what farmers are in
                                                                                                                    Detailed information and Nomination forms can be
    A Nester’s grocery store in                   Students do not have      the Fraser Valley.”
                                                                                                                    found on the Web at
The Hub retail development             to wait until 2009, however,              “Next week we’ll have more or
will provide students with a           for sustainability to make its       information out for people              may be picked up from Student Services, 3000-level
pharmacy, a café, and 23,000           way to SFU. Sustainable SFU          about where farmers are in the          MBC; Simon Fraser Student Society General Office,
sq. feet of groceries. Jonathan        launched a local food project        Lower Mainland and how [stu-            Room 2250 MBC, Burnaby Campus; Graduate Student
Tilley, the director of commu-         last Wednesday called Pocket         dents] can get connected with           Society, Room 2205 MBC, Burnaby Campus; Registrar
nity development at UniverCity         Farmer’s Market, where locally       them,” she added.                       and Information Services at Harbour Centre, HCC 1100;
anticipates the new facilities         grown tomatoes, potatoes, let-            The most popular items at          and Registrar and Information Services at SFU Surrey,
will “keep [students] on the           tuce, breads, peppers, jellies       the market included apples,             Room 2500 on the Mezzanine. Questions may be
mountain for other purchases”          and baked goods were available       bread, and baked goods.                 directed to Bobbie Grant, Senate & Academic Services,
                                                                                                                    Student Services – 778.782.3168 or email
and will help strengthen local         for students to purchase.                 With funding from Envi-
businesses.                                Just beside Cornerstone, doz-    ronment Canada’s EcoAction
                                                                                                                    Deadline for receipt of nominations:
    There are currently 2700           ens of students lined up in the      community funding program,              6:00 pm, Wednesday, 24 September 2008
residents in UniverCity and            warmth of the sun, anxiously         SFU’s Centre of Sustainable

                                                                                     the peak
                           September 15, 2008
                                                                                                                                      features editor   Shara Lee

18                                                                                                                                    e-mail

   What is that
   on your face?
    Our government’s failure to protect consumers
    from the harmful effects of cosmetics

   Photos By Andy Fang and Jenny Waters

                                                                                                 By Claire Askew
“         really don’t think about what I put on my face when
I get up in the morning,” says Gwendolyn Moore. “I always
just assume that the products I buy in the drugstore are
safe. Sometimes I think about how toothpaste has formal-
                                                                  similar reports, thousands of synthetic ingredients are
                                                                  now banned from cosmetic products. In Canada, however,
                                                                  there is a critical lack of cosmetic regulation. In spite of
                                                                  the tremendous volume of personal care products used
                                                                                                                                 care product sold in Canada, “Method”, does not divulge
                                                                                                                                 its fragrance ingredients on its labels.
                                                                                                                                      Another problem with Canadian labeling regulation is
                                                                                                                                 that labels are not required to be written in laymen’s Eng-
dehyde in it and how it’s probably bad for you, using it every    by women everyday, 89 per cent of cosmetic ingredients         lish; scientific nomenclature is sufficient. Even representa-
day, but it has never occurred to me that cosmetics could         sold in Canada have not been tested for safety by any in-      tives from the Canadian Cosmetic, Fragrance, and Toiletry
have long-term side effects, she says. “I mean, we put them       dependent regulatory body. The Canadian government is          Association openly admit that the only individuals who
on our skin, not in our bodies.”                                  seemingly afraid of offending cosmetic companies and as        can understand ingredients written in this manner are
    Everyday the average North American woman spritzes,           a result is not taking a strong enough approach to protect     those with degrees in chemistry or pharmacology.
sprays, and lathers around168 different chemicals in nine         consumers from toxic ingredients in cosmetics. By fail-
different products. From hair products, moisturizers and,         ing to implement cosmetic regulations, Health Canada is        Health Canada’s “Hotlist” just a gimmick to
deodorants, to skin toners, foundation, and perfume, there        compromising consumers’ health.                                quiet critics?
is really nothing that remains chemical-free. But would we             Health Canada and Canadian governments in general,
continue to use such a high volume of products if we knew         have taken more precautionary steps than our American              Like Health Canada’s cosmetic labeling regulations,
that they might cause cancer, birth defects, learning dis-        neighbours, who have to date only banned 11 cosmetic           the government’s “Hotlist” is also of questionable value.
abilities, and other serious health problems?                     ingredients. But Canadian measures still do arguably very      On the Health Canada consumer safety website entitled
                                                                  little to protect consumers. Health Canada recently en-        “Guidelines for Cosmetic Manufacturers, Importers, and
Pretty nasty                                                      acted a labeling law that came into force in November          Distributors” is a portion detailing Canada’s “Hotlist.” The
                                                                  2006, requiring all cosmetics imported to Canada to in-        site explains that if Health Canada is notified by a pro-
   North American women are among the wealthiest in the           clude an ingredients list. Health Canada also devised the      ducer that a product contains a “Hotlist” ingredient that
world, yet they suffer from record rates of a variety of health   “Cosmetic Ingredient Hotlist: A List of Restricted and Pro-    is either banned or exceeds the “Hotlist” limit, “the manu-
problems. Some scientists are increasingly concerned with         hibited Cosmetic Ingredients in Canada,” which lists over      facturer or distributor may be advised to do one (or more)
the connection between the high volume of cosmetic prod-          500 chemicals manufacturers must limit or not put in their     of the following:”
ucts many women use and health problems experienced by            cosmetic products.
women in North America.                                                Implemented in the current climate of the Conserva-       — Reduce the concentration of the ingredient to an ac-
   Stacy Malkan in her book Not Just a Pretty Face: The           tive government’s push for deregulation, the Council of        ceptable level
Dark Side of the Beauty Industry, states that up to 70 per        Canadians and a number of other public interest groups         — Remove the substance from the formulation
cent of the most popular cosmetic products contain toxic          have been quick to question whether the new Canadian           — Consider marketing the product as a drug or natural
chemicals linked with serious health ailments like repro-         cosmetic regulations are just paying lip-service to public     health product (requires application for a Drug Identifica-
ductive problems and cancer. The 2002 Swedish analytical          health concerns.                                               tion Number (DIN) or Natural Product Number (NPN))
laboratory test “Pretty Nasty,” found that phthalates, a large         Canada’s new cosmetic labeling law raises questions       — Provide evidence that the product is safe for its in-
family of synthetic chemicals linked to decreased fertility       of how strictly Health Canada regulates the law. In the        tended use
as well as birth defects, were contained in 80 per cent of 24     U.S., a loophole in federal labeling regulation allows in-     — Confirm that the product is labeled as required
cosmetics they tested. These included well-known products         gredients in fragrances to be omitted from the label since     — Confirm that the product is sold in a child-resistant
made by companies like L’Oreal, Procter and Gamble (the           these ingredients are considered ‘trademark secrets’. This     package
makers of Cover Girl), and Christian Dior.                        omission poses a health risk since the chemical phtha-         — Remove the product from sale
                                                                  late; a hormone mimicker linked with cancer and other
Canadian laws don’t protect us                                    health problems is often used in fragrance. Many Ameri-        This Health Canada description of the “Hotlist” is not
                                                                  can products sold in Canada still only say “fragrance” on      a threat to the cosmetic industry for two main rea-
   The European Union has taken scientists’ warnings se-          the label with no explanation of the fragrance ingredients.    sons: it is unclear whether any manufacturers have
riously. Since the publication of “Pretty Nasty” and other        For example, the new American cleaning and personal            actually changed their products as a result of “Hotlist”

                                                                                       the peak
                                                                                                                                                                FEATURES                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       September 15, 2008          19
stipulations, nor whether there is any regulating body If the price tag on some of these items is surpris-                                                                                                                                                                                         The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics
in place to monitor and ensure companies are follow- ing, keep in mind that non-toxic cosmetics are more
ing recommendations.                                                   expensive because natural, organic ingredients cost                                                                                                                                                                            Another way to learn more about cosmetic related
    According to an article in the Ottawa Citizen by more to produce.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              issues and get involved at the community level is to
Shelley Page and Susan Allan, Health Canada has no                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 link up with the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, based
authority to levy fines or control what ingredients are                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            in the U.S. but partners with Canada’s Breast Cancer
used in cosmetics. The fact that manufactur-
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Sexy fo                                                                                       Action Montreal. The Campaign for Safe Cosmet-

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 r her.
ers only “may” be asked to change                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ics is an advocacy group happy to
their products does not indicate a                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        form links with individuals

strict regulation. The “Hotlist” as it                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             What Ar                and grassroots organizations
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          e You W
stands today provides insufficient                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       seeking to subvert the main-

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              for the d by an ind ed below, we grances,

protection of consumers’ health.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        stream beauty industry. Also,                        found presence of ependent
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                                                                                                                                  Check out The SFU Sustain-                                                                                                                                            products made by companies like L’Oreal and
   So what should concerned girls, women, boys, and                                                                       ability Festival’s Eco-fashion Show                                                                                                                                           Avon are accidentally shipped to the EU. When
men, who are increasingly the target of cosmetic cam-                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              this happens, these products are pulled off the shelves
paigns, do to protect themselves from the harmful                                                                             Protecting yourself by supporting local groups who                                                                                                                   and often sent to Canada to be sold in our supermar-
effects of the largely unregulated Canadian cosmetic                                                                      only use organic products can also be beneficial to                                                                                                                      kets and drug stores.
industry? At the practical level, beyond the most clear-                                                                  the community. On campus, the upcoming SFU Sus-                                                                                                                              The long-term effects of many chemicals in beauty
cut solution by reducing our consumption of cosmetic                                                                      tainability Festival taking place in Convocation Mall,                                                                                                                   products are still unknown and therefore should be
products, individuals can research cosmetic ingredi-                                                                      September 24 has taken health concerns related to                                                                                                                        subject to testing before they are put on store shelves.
ents and seek out products that guarantee not to con-                                                                     cosmetic usage seriously. The Eco-fashion show will                                                                                                                      Health Canada would be right to implement regula-
tain questionable substances, generally found most                                                                        feature models whose make-up is provided by YR Urth                                                                                                                      tions to ensure that the cosmetic products used by
readily at local health food stores. The easiest way to                                                                   Minerals Cosmetics and Suncoat Products, two Cana-                                                                                                                       Canadians, like the products sold in Europe, are re-
access quick information about the products you wear                                                                      dian cosmetic companies who both use only natural,                                                                                                                       formulated to be safer for consumers. Through advo-
is by checking out the Skin Deep on-line database                                                                         non-toxic ingredients in their products. CTV’s Breakfast                                                                                                                 cacy at the individual, community, and national level
at for information about                                                                        Television is also doing an episode on the same day de-                                                                                                                  we can tell government that we refuse to have our
cosmetic ingredients and safe product recommenda-                                                                         tailing the Eco-fashion Show and its efforts to promote                                                                                                                  health unnecessarily compromised by toxic cosmetic
tions. It contains details about thousands of products.                                                                   healthier cosmetics.                                                                                                                                                     products.

                                                                                                                                                                                the peak
20                                                                                  FEATURES

There will be love
             September 15, 2008

How James Sears became Dimitri the Lover
                                                                                                                                               By Muhammad Amir

                                                                                                                                                                 Images courtesy of

Slimeball or seduction artist?                                   pick-up artist in a city arguably considered the hotbed of          well-documented; notably, James suffered from substance-
                                                                 the seduction community: Toronto, Ontario.                          abuse problems, compulsive masturbation issues, constant
By the virtue of electronic viral media, Dimitri the Lover’s         Before his chance encounter with Olga and long before he        sexual harassment of others (including masturbating to
passionate appeals to reason (or rather, his own notion of       adopted the persona of “Dimitri the Lover: Canada’s Greatest        women over the phone), and general anti-social behaviour,
it) could barely be contained on the voice mail belong-          Lover and Seducer,” the disturbing saga of James Sears’ profes-     becoming shunned by his colleagues because of his offensive
ing to the object of his lust, a woman named Olga. In his        sional and personal pursuits epitomizes the sinister conse-         conduct.
dejected state, Dimitri (born James N. Sears) pleads in his      quences of a broken culture: a culture negligently reactive to          After graduating medical school in 1988 (and being found
own defense that he is “a complete catch . . . one of the        mental illness; and a culture still struggling to properly recon-   “competent for unsupervised practice”), James undertook
few men in the city who has nothing wrong with him.”             cile male identity with the gains of the feminist movement in       psychiatric treatment at the Clarke Institute where it was ad-
He further goes on to say that he has “no trouble meeting        the past four decades.                                              vised that he suffered from such psychiatric illness that suc-
women.”                                                              In a maddening descent, what is most troubling about            cessful rehabilitation was unlikely. This conclusion would be

“There’s nothing wrong with me. As a matter of fact I’m one of the few men in the city that has noth-
ing wrong with him. So I’m giving you the three o’clock deadline. If I don’t hear from you by then, you
    lose my number — I’m erasing your number right now, so you won’t be hearing back from me.”
    Soon, the two-part series of Dimitri’s phone messages        James Sears (and other men like him) are not any embarrass-         confirmed after Sears admitted to two counts of sexual as-
to this woman would be trafficked across the Internet,           ing foibles or even criminal mistakes, but the confidence that      sault against one 34-year-old woman and another 26-year-
ridiculed on morning radio shows, and written about in           there will be love.                                                 old woman, both of whom accused Sears of inappropriate
the pages of newspapers across North America turning                                                                                 touching and verbal sexual propositions, so intense that each
Dimitri’s messages into a cultural phenomenon.                   Dr. Sears                                                           woman feared for her own safety.
    “I’m completely single, I’m very intelligent, I’m great in                                                                           As a result, James Sears would be stripped of his medical
bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I’m a complete           Born on August 21, 1964 in Toronto, Ontario, James Sears’       license in 1993 — years after the grim diagnosis of his unlikely
catch,” says Dimitri to Olga in a follow up message after        childhood was marred by an alcoholic father and a manic             rehabilitation was made.
not hearing back from her. His confidence seems to drop          mother. According to a 1993 disciplinary committee decision
and he gets desperate. “There’s nothing wrong with me.           from Ontario’s College of Physicians and Surgeons, during this      Dimitri “still needed to get laid”
As a matter of fact I’m one of the few men in the city that      tumultuous upbringing, James developed an attention-deficit
has nothing wrong with him. So I’m giving you the three          disorder with hyperactivity.                                           In an interview with Ben Guyatt, James (interviewed as
o’clock deadline. If I don’t hear from you by then, you lose         In spite of this, James was an incredibly bright student,       Dimitri) claims to have refused to reapply for his license,
my number — I’m erasing your number right now, so you            studying at the University of Toronto. He was, however, not         though given the opportunity five years after having his li-
won’t be hearing back from me.”                                  devoid of mental health issues. As a 3rd-year medical school        cense revoked, having found a new calling in life.
    You wouldn’t be able to tell in the clarity of his frus-     student and a member of the Armed Forces Medical Officer               After 1993, James admits to winding up on welfare, with
trated tone, but Dimitri just so happens to be a master          Training Plan, his discordant mental state started to become        zero savings, but still having an insatiable sex drive. This drive,

                                                                                        the peak
                                                                                              FEATURES                                                                     September 15, 2008              21
without the crutch of any traditional social value, led James to explore the science of courting                on the metrosexuality cultural movement); and The Book of More Man (a self-help guide for
women. After many rejections, James claims to have smoothed out his modus operandi, evolv-                      men, apparently inspired by former Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney). There’s also the
ing into his new persona: Dimitri the Lover.                                                                    motion picture Dimitri is working on; the same one he claims to be writing in one of his voice
     The turning point for James Sears seems to be a contest among his close friends to see how                 mails to Olga.
little each could spend on a woman before having sex with her. James claims to have won this
contest, having scored a negative dollar value by using tricks such as forgetting his wallet to                 A cultural artifact
     In one of his more outlandish stunts in 2004, Dimitri (now in his early fourties) actually con-                Professionally, Dr. James N. Sears has also founded his own medical investigation consul-
tracted a postering company to draw up an open sexual proposition (originally titled “Is Your                   tancy for medical fraud and malpractice cases, The Second Opinion Medical Legal Consult-
Man a Dud?”) to any attractive and intelligent woman. Thousands of copies of this offer were                    ing Group, which includes his work as an expert witness for sexual assault/harassment cases,
plastered all over Toronto. Telling Eye Weekly, Dimitri seemingly downplays the success of the                  passing professional judgment on worker’s insurance claims. In operating two organizations
campaign: “I got dozens of responses. Dozens. And fucked maybe 20 women, something like                         that target women in two different, yet equally sensitive, ways, there is something awfully
that. Not a lot.”                                                                                               disconcerting about James Sears when he makes his 24-hour ultimatum to Olga and relent-
     Clearly, this was a modest accomplishment for “Canada’s                                                                                           lessly claims that there is nothing wrong with him. Clearly,
Greatest Lover and Seducer” who has claimed to have had a                                                                                              James isn’t just a bad pickup artist, but a psychotic sexual
long-term relationship with an flight attendant who was                                                                                                predator.
so gorgeous she actually rejected David Beckham. These                                                                                                     How a sexual offender can operate one business that
rumoured experiences would propel Dimitri to become a                                                                                                  features the dissemination of the type of chauvinism char-
leader in Toronto’s seduction community.                                                                                                               acterized by the Ku Klux Klan and another that infiltrates
                                                                                                                                                       the Canadian justice system with “expert” advice is indica-
Toronto Real Men                                                                                                                                       tive of a broken culture. Clearly, James N. Sears needs help
                                                                                                                                                       — and he has needed it for at least a quarter of a century.
    After his open proposition to the attractive and intel-                                                                                            His ascent as a spiritual leader for sexually and emotionally
ligent women of Toronto, Dimitri would become a self-                                                                                                  frustrated men reflects on how our culture has spawned
proclaimed dating guru and found the seduction school                                                                                                  confusion in male identity, leaving it vulnerable to such re-
Toronto Real Men (TRM) later that same year. The focus of TRM is to teach a more assertive                      volting social ideology. It also highlights the sieve of the Canadian medical system, which clearly
(apparently, European) method of seducing women, while scouting the best locations to “meet                     ignored James Sears’ psychiatric disorders, and bizarrely continues to allow him access to sensi-
horny suburban sluts, from hot college girls to desperate cougars” such as the half-priced chocolate aisle at   tive files and permits him qualification to pass professional judgment in a field where he has
Shopper’s Drug Mart the day after Valentine’s Day.                                                              shown not only a lack of professionalism, but also a lack of objectivity and moral fiber.
    Membership in TRM requires signing a declaration renouncing “metrosexuality as a femi-                          Still, without any remorse (but plenty of vindictiveness), in spite of a worldwide hu-
nist media conspiracy.” Both homosexual and metrosexual males are barred from participat-                       miliation, James N. Sears, under his moniker, Dimitri the Lover, confidently marches on,
ing. TRM is, in fact, only open to heterosexual males, bisexual males, and lesbians. In addi-                   convinced that there will be love.

                                                                                                Sept. 17 - 19

                                                                                                North Concourse


tion, members are required to abandon and renounce the teachings of far
more popular seduction communities associated with notable dating gurus
Neil Strauss, Mystery, David D’Angelo, Ross Jeffries, and Tyler Durden, not
to mention social rapport building fields of study such as neuro-linguistic
     Interestingly, one of the key differences between Dimitri’s TRM and other
more mainstream seduction communities is TRM’s open declaration of a war
against feminism and reliance on blaming women (and other men) for one’s
own failure to seduce. Whereas Neil Strauss and Mystery boast that with the
right social grace, any man can pick up any woman, Dimitri dismisses this
notion, believing that “most women are uptight and think all men are serial
killers, so lots of rejection is just part of the mating ritual.”
     Dimitri’s other worldviews range from the ridiculous to the dangerously
disturbing. In one section of his website, Dimitri actually claims to have single-
handedly averted a major monetary disaster in Canada (by simply stamping
Canadian currency with an advertisement for his website). In another section,
he criticizes NBC’s Dateline for persecuting “normal horny guys turned on by
teenage girls.”
     Dimtri boasts five upcoming books: Mein Kock (an autobiography); The
Dimitri Code (Dimitri’s philosophy); The Book of Dimitri (the incorporated re-
ligious doctrine of The Church of Dimitri of Latter Day Sluts and Jesus Christ);
Awaken The Slut Within (a self-help guide for women to get in touch with their
“inner sluts”); Men are From Mars, Metrosexuals are From Uranus (an exposé

                                                                                                     the peak
                               September 15, 2008
                                                                                                                                                     arts editor        Deanne Beattie

                                                                                                                                                     phone              778.782.4630


SFU Film students earn
international honours
                                                 postage, and students fill out the forms,”       about the presido modelo, model prisons,           out great.”
                                                 laughed SFU Film professor Colin Brown,          in Cuba and is an exploration of what it                Redvers reiterated the value of the film
                                                 who has been guiding 2nd- and 4th-year           means to be a prisoner — in jail, as else-         festivals and awards in launching a film
                              Deanne Beattie     students through the festival application        where in life.                                     career in Canada. Independent filmmakers
                                   Arts Editor
                                                 process for many years. Festivals give new          Students graduating from the SFU Film           approach everyone from generous family
If you think “Smallville,” “Seth Rogen,” or      filmmakers a great opportunity to earn           program are equipped with skills to enter          members to national granting agencies like
“tax credits” when the Canadian film in-         some exposure in the Canadian film indus-        into many areas of film production, but            Telefilm and Canada Council for the Arts to
dustry is mentioned, you aren’t alone. Ca-       try, and potentially gain valuable contacts      the focus of the program is on indepen-            fund their films. “If you have accreditation
nadian film doesn’t quite have the prestige      to help them start their careers.                dent filmmaking. “Our students are in the          to your name, it makes it a lot easier to
of the European film or the flashy bud-              They’ll need it.                             same kind of situation as all students who         be able to succeed as a filmmaker,” said
gets of American film, and can be easy to            The SFU Film program is foremost a           leave art school,” said Brown, “in that they       Redvers. “People see these titles, and feel
overlook as a site of innovation and origi-      program for artists who wish to be inde-         are going out to proceed as artists into the       more comfortable giving you money for
nality in quality storytelling. Nonetheless,     pendent filmmakers, a challenging path                                                              your films.”
Canadian filmmakers are producing work
that achieves significant critical acclaim at
                                                 to choose. The three winning filmmak-
                                                 ers have delighted in the opportunity to
                                                                                                     “I don’t know if                                     This isn’t to say that film honours in a
                                                                                                                                                     filmmaker’s developmental years are ev-
film festivals and competitions around the
world — and SFU film grads are stepping
                                                 produce dynamic, inventive work that is
                                                 meaningful to them, and it shows in the
                                                                                                   it’s courageous or                                erything. The modest award winners de-
                                                                                                                                                     flect excessive praise. “People picking up
up to inherit their place in the Canadian
creative tradition.
                                                 wining films they have directed.
                                                     Massil’s documentary is a peek into the
                                                                                                    stupid,” laughed                                 these films [for festivals] are just people,”
                                                                                                                                                     said Massil. “There’s no objective truth
    SFU Film students and recent gradu-          lives of 75-year-old Frank Erl and 82-year-         Massil, “but for                                about anyone’s film if you get chosen for
ates swept away from the Canadian Stu-           old Geordie Dobson as they relate to the                                                            this or that [award], and it doesn’t neces-
dent Film Festival at the Montreal World         Yukon’s gold and silver mining. Both the           now, it’s working                                sarily validate my film to have it in festivals
Film Festival this summer with three of the      Toronto International Film Festival and the                                                         or not.”
six top prizes. Tony Massil, 2008 Film pro-      Vancouver International Film Festival have             out great.”                                       And, as Redvers notes, these honours
gram graduate, took “Best Documentary”           picked up the film for their screenings, an                                                         are probably more a reflection of where
for his short film, Forty Men for the Yukon.     honour for such a new filmmaker.                 world and find a way to make their work.”          filmmakers are coming from than where
Pablo Albarez, another recent graduate,              Redvers shot his film in a Vancouver              This is more difficult than it sounds.        they are going. Film students work with
was awarded “Best Experimental Film” for         studio. His film captures six actors telling a   “It’s challenging to be an independent Ca-         their peers in their cohort to produce every
his short, Presidio Modelo, and Kelvin Red-      story by Aboriginal storyteller Richard Van      nadian filmmaker,” said Massil, “but for           student’s final film project. “To get to a final
vers, a current Film student, took “Best Fic-    Camp in turn against a blank backdrop,           me, I think I would rather do that, and have       project as SFU, there have been so many
tion Production” for Fire Bear Called Them       without the usual trappings of set or cos-       it be really hard, and work for myself, than       students that have helped at each place
Faith Healers.                                   tume. The minimalist technique entices           spend 16 hours a day doing something I             along the way.
    Submitting films to competitions and         the audience to create these conditions          couldn’t stand.                                         “When an SFU film wins an award,
festivals is a thing of tradition for students   with their own imaginations.                          “I don’t know if it’s courageous or stu-      it’s not just that student who wins — it’s
in the SFU Film program. “We pay the                 Albarez produced an experimental film        pid,” he laughed, “but for now, it’s working       everybody.”


hacksaw                                                                                                                            the day when he may have to speak to another human

                                                                                                                                       Poetry is most abundant in the ‘zine, and there is one
                                                                                                                 Tessa Perkins
                                                                                                     Associate Staff Contributor   very cool piece titled “The Exeter Book Riddles.” It is a couple
                                                                                                                                   of riddles translated from the original old English, and the
                                                                                                                                   answers to the riddles (apparently still debated by scholars)

                                                              To submit writing to Hacksaw or to purchase a copy, contact          can be found in envelopes glued to the page. Another piece
                                                              the editors through                        called “It’s All So Perfect, No Really” seems to document a day
                                                                                                                                   in the life of a suburban housewife. Her life may seem perfect
                                                              A new literary arts ‘zine headed by SFU student editors,             on the outside, but on the inside she is a mess.
                                                              Hacksaw, has emerged to “crudely break things apart so                   A photo series called “Breakfast” shows indiscernible
                                                              the architect can put the pieces together as something new           pictures of food from different locations and theorizes that
                                                              and wonderful.” At least that explains the magazine’s title          cooking was the “earliest media of creating art and cul-
                                                              and its messy cut-and-paste, DIY look. A look at the back            ture” because “art is more fun when it approaches non-art.”
                                                              cover will inform you that Hacksaw was indeed printed                There are many brilliant artistic elements including a por-
                                                              and assembled by hand. This first issue is said to “blend            trait of the king of rock himself, Elvis. The ‘zine begins and
                                                              contemporary youth cultures with civilizations long past”            ends with labelled parts of the human anatomy, but the la-
                                                              while “both creating and deconstructing our world through            bels are changed to be ironic and humorous. Even the body
                                                              arts and the written word.” The ‘zine features experimental          has become a victim of the hacksaw.
                                                              and innovative prose, poetry, and art all in one unique, eye-            With many clever entries, plenty of literary flair, poi-
                                                              catching package.                                                    gnant art, and handmade production, this ‘zine is thought

   is breaking stuff                                               The first prose entry is called “Eat Your Words,” and is a
                                                              sort of dictionary word cook-off with two large dictionary
                                                              companies (Merriam-Webster and Oxford) vying for glory.
                                                                                                                                   provoking and, so far, unaffected by outside forces. The
                                                                                                                                   inside of the back cover has some suggested reading and
                                                                                                                                   watching materials, with Adbusters magazine as one of their

                                                              It is clever and entertaining with words posing as culinary          picks. I find it quite contradictory that immediately below
                                                              masterpieces. The art accompanying it is glued-in diction-           this list is a call for advertisers for their ‘zine. For now, the
                                                              ary words surrounding an old man’s head. The other prose             ‘zine is a great place of literary and artistic expression and
                                                              piece is a longer story titled “The Lighthouse Keeper,”              creativity. I think any advertising would only cheapen it and
                                                              and it is the story of a man who lives in solitude but finds         ruin its cool, independent homemade feel. Hacksaw is a
                                                              short-lived comfort in a boy who washes up on his shore.             masterpiece of literary collage that is distinctive and origi-
                                                              He tries to help recover the boy’s health, and worries about         nal; I just hope it stays that way.

                                                                                       the peak
                                                                                       ARTS                                                                September 15, 2008                   23

East meets west in good dining
Heather Forbes
The Peak

The Narrow is an East Vancouver restaurant
at 1898 Main Street.

A few weeks ago, I walked into the Nar-
row on a mission of great import: I needed
a local watering hole. Having grown tired
of the menu at the Foundation and frus-
trated with the spotty service at the Whip,
I needed a new set of arms to soothe me
with beer and comfort food when the term
papers get rough.
     The Narrow’s location is a fun (read:
frustrating) game for first-timers, and a
flimsy badge of exclusivity for regulars.
It’s located through a side entrance of the
old Steelworks building on Main and 3rd,
which also houses artist workspaces and
a gallery. Apparently part of the pub’s pro-
ceeds help support these art spaces, so
drink up patrons!
     As your eyes adjust to the dim lighting
of the small space, you take stock of its
interior design. Sure, its thrift store chic
is right in step with the wardrobes of the
Main Street style set, but somehow their
distressed Victorian chandeliers and wall-
paper truly feel earnest. I love the mis-
matched art in the bathrooms, and even
the ridiculous, apparently trendy, racks of
antlers on the wall. The décor is like your
nutty aunt and uncle you were mortified
to be seen with when you were a teenager,
but now their unpretentious, unapologetic
company is what gets you through Christ-
mas dinners.
     The drink menu is straightforward and
satisfying. Local R and B Brewery is almost
over-represented on the taps, so I hope
they switch it up with other local drafts.
Their bottle list is balanced, with its main
novelty being Hite, a South Korean beer
whose packaging and taste make it the
Sprite of beer. They have a full wine and
bar list too, if beer’s not your bag.
     The menu is short and confident. Their                                                                                                  Photo top right Kaylin Metchi; all others Andy Fang / The Peak
sharing dishes aren’t the most imaginative     Top: The Narrow is ridiculous, unpretentious, and unapologetic; Bottom: Trattoria Italian Kitchen serves sublime food to loud music.
(think assorted dips and nachos) but they
are executed well, and their mains are right   to choose the next album. At night the           My earliest childhood memory of eating               As long as you go in with realistic ex-
on target. On my first visit I devoured the    vinyl takes a rest and a fun and eclec-          out is at an Italian restaurant. Strangely, I    pectations, I don’t see how you won’t leave
stout lamb stew. Rarely does a dish under-     tic soundtrack plays, without audience           can’t remember what the food was like or         the restaurant in reasonably good spirits.
stand its purpose as fully, and excellently,   curatorship.                                     even what the restaurant looked like. What       This is not the spot for couples looking to
as that stew. It was hearty, meaty, and fla-       Staff members don’t serve you based on       I do remember is I had a haircut that made       get to know each other better, nor is it the
vourful without being heavy, and (very im-     how cool or generous you appear, which           me look like I was my brother’s identical        place for mind-blowing Italian cuisine.
portantly) it sat happily in my stomach as     is refreshing in this neighbourhood. The         twin. At the end of the night, the owner             However, it is a restaurant that offers
I drank beer like it was water. On other       crowd is a refreshing mix of young and old,      gallantly handed out long stem red roses         customers a diverting evening to drink
occasions I’ve enjoyed the mac and cheese,     hip and casual, rubbing elbows in an hon-        to the female customers. Despite my bowl-        some nice wines, consume some tooth-
the grilled cheese, and their original take    est celebration of comfortable food and          like hairstyle and boyish appearance, I re-      some pasta, and socialize with a group of
on a meatloaf sandwich, which all hit that     conversation, rather than making appear-         member happily receiving one too.                friends (albeit, at a very superficial level).
elusive spot. I never really believed excep-   ances or striking poses.                             Fast forward to my newest memory of          The interior room is hospitable, but a little
tional versions of these simple foods ex-          I’ve found myself a new haunt, and as        eating out at an Italian restaurant, Trattoria   cheesy. For example, the paper place mats
isted (after all, how hard is it to fuck up    long as you don’t fill all of its 30 seats too   Kitchen on 4th Avenue. This time around,         have pictures of different pasta types and
grilled cheese?) but the Narrow has proved     fast, I encourage you to check out the Nar-      my attention was placed solely on the            a map. I, as well as the little children in the
me wrong. Oh, and they have an awesome         row for yourself.                                food and restaurant. Our server was very         restaurant, didn’t mind, and instead en-
chocolate cheesecake made in-house.                                                             friendly and attentive. Perhaps a little too     joyed the opportunity to learn more about
Trust me, it rocks.                                                                             gladsome to be believable, but I would pre-      pasta.
     The space is small, so it gets packed     Christine G. Louie                               fer a big smile and friendly conversation to         Still early in the evening, my father and
pretty fast at night, particularly on week-    The Peak                                         the alternative. Throughout our meal, dif-       I slipped in without reservations. The res-
ends. However, if you go at around din-                                                         ferent servers came by to sweep off empty        taurant was half full, while the patio out-
nertime, it is half empty and the friendly     The Trattoria Italian Kitchen is a Kitsilano     plates and to refill glasses. The manager        side was nearly swarming with women in
staff encourages you to flip through their     restaurant at 1850 4th Avenue West, Vancou-      even took the time to stop us on the way
modest, but diverse, record collection         ver. Make reservations at (604) 732-1441.        out to inquire how we found our meal.                                        Continued on page 25

                                                                                      the peak
24        September 15, 2008                                                          ARTS


 Rock ‘n’ roll Fringe
 Deanne Beattie                                              Greg Landucci: Well, the Fringe circuit is wonderful          P: How did you get your start in comedic theatre, and
 Arts Editor                                                 because it attracts an amazing collection of eclectic         where, in your wildest dreams, do you hope to go from
                                                             artists from around the world who end up traveling            here?
 Greg Landucci performs MR. FOX at the SFU Theatre           together across Canada presenting their unique cre-
 this Thursday, September 18 at noon, free.                  ations. Also, you get to go to Winnipeg!                      GL: I started with Dishpig two years ago at the Fringe.
                                                                                                                           T.J. Dawe suggested that we work together and I said
 Vancouverite Greg Landucci is MR. FOX in his comedic,       P: How did the festivals compare from city to city this       he must be joking because I wasn’t a writer, and then
 one-man performance about his years as a wannabe            summer?                                                       he called me on the telephone and left a message. I re-
 radio jockey, paying dues as the CFOX radio mascot.                                                                       turned his call a few days later, and we decided to meet
 While waiting for radio big wigs to notice him, Landucci    GL: Each festival is its own entity with its own unique       at his place, and he had a laptop so we started writing.
 sweltered in full costume through the trials and tribula-   personality, with both pluses and minuses. But at the         Wildest dream at this point would be to get cast in a
 tions that came with appearances as an anthropomor-         heart every festival is dedicated to the pursuit of unfet-    commercial where I’m the only guy and all around me
 phic fox at The Roxy, the PNE, and a Langley celebrity      tered self-expression. And Edmonton has a better mall         are models who think I smell great!
 bowl-a-thon. As you might imagine, hilarity ensues.         than Winnipeg.
     Landucci has taken the show to eight Fringe festi-
 vals across Canada this summer, returning home for his      P: Do you have any stories to tell from your travels
 final turn of performances at the Vancouver Fringe. The     across Canada?
 Vancouver run of this critically acclaimed and popular
 show includes a date at the SFU Theatre, where SFU          GL: None that I can print here. Let’s just say that there’s
 students and staff can catch MR. FOX for free. Landucci     a lot of down time. Idle hands.
 took The Peak’s questions about the wacky Fringe cir-
 cuit and shopping malls across the country.                 P: And what is it like returning home to Vancouver to
 The Peak: You’re wrapping up a nation-wide tour of
 theatre festivals this month with MR. FOX at the Van-       GL: Well it’s nice to say, “Surrey loves Black Sabbath”
 couver Fringe. Tell us about the festival circuit — how     and have people laugh. The lame jokes come off a lot
 do fringe festivals compare to other kinds of perfor-       better with a hometown crowd that get the references.
 mances that you’ve done?                                    There’s a whole other layer. Which gives the show some-                                            Courtesy of Greg Landucci
                                                             thing like two layers.                                        Greg Landucci is looking foxy

                                                                                   the peak
                                                                                          ARTS                                                               September 15, 2008                 25

Bangkok: dangerously bad hair
Cam Smith                                         some initial misgivings, develops a man-          service representative (“How many pills a         gondola chase that packs all the intensity
Associate Staff Contributor                       crush of sorts on Joe, inspiring the weary        day? Two . . . ? Five . . . ? The whole bot-      of a paddleboat race, and a final shoot-out
                                                  hitman to take the young man under his            tle!?”), I was able to overlook the logistics     that, despite a record number of explod-
Bangkok Dangerous opened in theatres              tutelage.                                         and be entertained by the pleasantness of         ing water jugs, is as thrilling as City Coun-
September 5.                                          Also, along the meandering way, Joe           the moment.                                       cil coverage on community television. As
                                                  develops a slightly creepy crush on Fon, a            If only the rest of the film was interested   well, the directors’ choice to under-light the
Can we all just agree that Nicolas Cage is        local deaf pharmacist (Charlie Yeung), who        in following such a character-rich path. The      sets and shoot through grainy filters makes
the most entertaining actor working today?        seems blissfully ignorant towards the awk-        directors, who work under the badass mon-         the whole darn thing look like a straight-to-
Sure, he may have a less consistent filmog-       wardness of her hulking, cave-dweller-like        iker “The Pang Brothers!” (okay, I added the      video Dolph Lundgren opus. I did, however,
raphy than Tom Hanks, Denzel Washing-             new squeeze. In the midst of these relation-      exclamation point for effect, but still), have    giggle at their shot from inside a car trunk
ton, or Russell Crowe, but Cage works the         ships are a number of baffling and ill-con-       watched way too much flashy American              — an obvious Tarantino homage. Keep
hardest for our entertainment dollars, in my      ceived double-crosses, flashy assassinations      junk for their own good. Instead of setting-      dreamin’, brothers Pang.
lowly opinion.                                    (including a stylish drowning sequence),          appropriate transitions and graceful cam-             Yet, Cage’s strange charisma makes most
    While his peers are tripping over each        and horrendously incoherent action scenes         era moves, we are pummeled with heavily           of this shambling mess mildly interesting.
other chasing Oscar bait and renowned             that completely derail the film’s emotional       edited action scenes and filler bits that re-     So, if you too have been willingly inducted
directors, he’s rambling surreal, likely ad-      centre: Joe rediscovering his lost humanity       minded me of CSI and the Saw films.               into the Cult of Cage, I’d consider guiltily
libbed, dialogue about the joys of jelly          through the beauty and tranquility of Bang-           Speaking of which, Bangkok Dangerous          checking this one out on DVD (Preferably
beans and television while playing a flame-       kok’s exotic culture and people.                  is crammed to the gills with gun battles that     on 2-for-1 night). The majority, however,
headed second tier superhero. He’s leering            Now, you may have taken my physical           can only be described as John Woo-On-Stu-         should steer well clear. Unfortunately, de-
like a pervert and stalking Jessica Biel in       descriptions of Cage in the last paragraph        pid-Pills. Apparently unable to match the         spite promises of sensationalized violence
time-travel schlockbusters. He is even, in        as smart-ass ridicule, but it isn’t intended      stylishness of Woo, the Pang Bros. have in-       and lurid subject matter, Bangkok couldn’t
his greatest hall-of-fame moment, wearing         to be. Rather, I believe (truly, truly believe)   stead wound up with a high-speed canal            be any more harmless.
a giant bear suit and clocking evil hippie        that Cage’s physical presence and appear-
women in the schnozzle while screaming            ance in this film to be wholly intended.
about honey and bees! Yep, dammit, I love         How else to explain the stooped posture
the oft-wigged eccentric hangdog, and so I        and tacky aesthetics? Cage has always had
was nearly euphoric about attending his lat-      a fondness for white-trash chic (Re-watch
est, a strange exotic hitman drama with the       Con Air or Next. See what I mean?), and
genius title of Bangkok Dangerous.                I think that Joe is one of the actor’s more
    Before I begin my expository break-           interestingly wacky recent on-screen per-
down of Bangkok Dangerous’ plot though,           formances. The way he offsets his shabby
let’s keep in mind that a true Cage vehicle       exterior with a tired, world-weary attitude
depends more on weirdo method acting              is actually quite appealing.
moments than first-rate storylines. Any-              The film’s best scene, where Joe first
way, I digress.                                   meets the lovely Fon in the pharmacy, has
    Cage’s character, economically named          a gentle sort of off beat grace about it. Car-
“Joe,” is a world-class assassin-for-hire, with   ried out almost completely in silence, it
a coldly methodical work ethic and prefer-        allows Cage to exercise his talent for physi-
ence for bad tourist outfits and greasy black     cal acting and stream-of-conscious verbal
hair extensions. Arriving in steamy, seamy        sputtering, which Yeung matches suitably
Bangkok, Joe becomes quickly accustomed           with unspoken elegance. Even while I was
to his lurid surroundings and hires an er-        pondering the potential liabilities involved
rand boy, named Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm),          with employing a mute, hearing-impaired                                                                                  Courtesy of Maple Pictures Corp.
to aid him in his homicidal tasks. Kong, after    woman as your pharmaceutical customer             Nicolas Cage, “Joe,” with his man-friend Shahkrit Yamnarm, “Kong.”

Trattoria offers good food, loud music
Continued from page 23                                      dressing. My neighbour’s lamb sausage with wild
                                                            mushrooms and goat cheese pizza ($13.00) looked
bright sundresses and men in cotton dress shirts.           much more interesting, and from his obvious enjoy-
The only problem we encountered in the restau-              ment, better than a pile of dry leaves.
rant was the noise level. Conversation at Trattoria             While my salad was healthy, the linguine car-
Kitchen, at least an understandable conversation, is        bonara ($13.00) was not in the least wholesome,
not on the menu. It was so loud that we stop trying         tasting of salty, crisp pancetta still warm from the
to shout, and resigned to sign language. Hand up            pan. The portion of pancetta to the pasta was almost
to ear translates to “I can’t hear you,” writing on air     even, the entire dish was about the size of a jumbo
translates to “let’s get the bill,” and pointing to the
door translates to “I want to leave.” This is definitely       As long as you go in with
the place to bring your spirited children. Not only
will they enjoy the placemats, but also any bouts of
                                                             realistic expectations, I don’t
crying or shouting tantrums will go unheard.                  see how you won’t leave the
    We ordered a light white summer wine. Pleas-
antly sweet — but with enough of a fragrant aroma
                                                             restaurant in reasonably good
and interesting notes to enjoy every sip. To start, my                   spirits.
father ordered the panzanella salad ($10.00), a nice
sized salad with ripe tomatoes, sliced grapes, celery,      grapefruit. My father ordered linguine with grilled
arugula, and cheese. The pieces of bread dominated          extra large tiger prawns ($14.00). The pasta glistened
the plate, as well as a puddle of olive oil and vinai-      in a clear sauce, covered in bits of capers, fresh
grette on the bottom of the plate. In a half-hearted        herbs, and topped with prawns. No dessert for us; I
attempt to eat healthy, I opted for the lean and green      was too full to eat a whole dessert on my own, and
Insalata Mista ($8.00). The salad turned out to be          he avoids foods made entirely out of sugar and but-
quite plain, a small plate of organic greens, scratchy      ter. Overall, I enjoyed the meal, though we left feel-
radicchio, scant tomatoes, and an almost invisible          ing like we just went to see a heavy metal concert.

                                                                                          the peak
                           September 15, 2008
                                                                                                                                               sports editor     Chad Klassen

26                                                                                                                                             e-mail


Clan have arrived as contenders
SFU	overcomes	13-point	deficit	at	halftime,	scores	two	third-quarter	TDs	to	pull	off	colossal	Canada	West	upset

                   Chad Klassen
                      Sports Editor

    It was Super Football Satur-
day, and the Clan football team
lived up to the hype and had a
super effort against the University
of Saskatchewan Huskies, beating
the No. 2 ranked team 27-17 at
B.C. Place Stadium to push its re-
cord to 2-1, which is good enough
for a four-way tie for first place in
the Canada West.
    The contingent of students
and alumni were treated to a
great game under the dome and
had a lot to be excited about with
the Clan’s performance.
    It was arguably the most sig-
nificant win for the program
since the 2003 season, when SFU
beat Alberta in the championship
game to win the Hardy Cup, and
was the first for the program over
Saskatchewan since the school
joined the CIS in 2002.
    Heck, even those television
producers in Toronto took no-
tice of SFU’s win. A rare highlight
package was aired on TSN during
                                                                                                                                                                           Jenny Waters / The Peak
SportsCentre Saturday night.
    “I see this game in a different     Clan turn tables on the previously undefeated University of Saskatchewan Huskies this past weekend.
light, our kids are working hard
and we are a better team,” said
head coach Dave Johnson fol-            Ephard had taken the return back      made key adjustments and cor-          time in the pocket to breakdown       plays defensively on multiple
lowing the unprecedented vic-           64 yards into Saskatchewan ter-       rected some of the mistakes to         the defence and hit Milos Zivkovic    second-and-short situations,
tory. “In the first half, we made       ritory, but a tipped pass by the      turn the tides.                        down the middle. The third-year       halting Huskies drives and hold-
too many mistakes, but we did           Huskies defensive end Vaughn              They completely shut down          receiver did the rest, scampering     ing onto the lead. Following a
what we had to do. The kids have        Rice resulted in the pick at SFU’s    the Huskies offensively and out-       past the Huskies’ secondary for a     bizarre overturned call that de-
bought in and it’s awesome, guys        50-yard line.                         score the second best team in the      77-yard touchdown — the game-         nied SFU a safety, 3rd-year cor-
made plays and tackles, and that            Backup pivot Trevor Barss,        country 24-1 – the total opposite      tying score that levelled things at   nerback Nick Shuster stepped in
was the difference.”                    who finished 14-for-22 with a         of how last year’s meeting played      16-16.                                front of a Craig Stevens pass for
    The Clan were seemingly             touchdown and an interception,        out in Saskatoon.                          Soon thereafter, it was another   the interception, which lead to
ready to compete with a previ-          used the turnover to hit Corey            On the opening kickoff, the        defensive stop taking center stage.   another Biles field goal to make
ously undefeated Saskatchewan           Jones for a 49-yard touchdown         Clan made it known that they           Cornerback David Eshleman             it 26-17.
team from the beginning, and            strike down the seam. Jones           weren’t out of the game. Ray           sacked Barss for an 11-yard loss          Finally, Anthony DesLaurier
it was clear on Brandon Halver-         caught the pass perfectly in stride   Wladichuk took the return back         when Saskatchewan could smell         put the nail in the coffin for SFU
son’s first punt return, when he        and cruised into the end zone to      74 yards on a reserve to the Sas-      the goal line, forcing the Huskies    on his first pick of the season
took it back 38 yards down to the       give Saskatchewan the 16-3 ad-        katchewan 20, putting the offence      to kick the field goal, which they    with under three minutes left on
Huskies’ 20-yard line to spark the      vantage at halftime.                  in great field position.               missed from 21 yards – their third    the clock.
team. It led to a Jeff Biles 34-yard        Instead of the Clan getting           While they had to settle for a     single of the contest – to go ahead       Preserving the win under
field goal to open the scoring.         three points to make it a 9-6 game,   29-yard field goal, after two failed   by one point, 17-16.                  B.C. Place means the team now
    Turnovers, though, seemed           at the minimum, the interception      attempts to move the chains, it            On the ensuring drive after       sits in that four-way logjam
to hurt them in the first half. The     at midfield led to the Huskies’ TD    took back some of the momen-           the missed field goal, Dittrich,      atop the Canada West standings
visitors used a couple early in         that increased the deficit to 13.     tum that the Huskies stole with        who finished 12-for-24 with           at 2-1 with three other schools.
the game to methodically march              Penalties also seemed to kill     the late first-half touchdown,         190 yards and had no ill effects          Next game for the Clan
the ball downfield and score two        the Clan’s momentum early. A          making it 16-6 early in the third      from his sore throwing shoulder,      shakes down on Saturday after-
touchdowns.                             pair of holding calls, between        quarter.                               found an open Spencer Watt for        noon at 1 p.m., when they play
    On the Huskies’ first score, fol-   other thrown flags, brought back          Big plays on defence contin-       a 29-yard completion before the       host to the 2-1 Calgary Dinos at
lowing a fumble, running back           a couple of big plays.                ued to turn heads, as a hit on         end of the quarter.                   Swangard Stadium in another
Tyler O’Gorman reached the ball             “We had over 120 yards in         Barss forced a quick throw that            To open the fourth, Ephard        first-place showdown.
over the goal line for the one-yard     penalties that had either cost        was intercepted by linebacker          took the handoff and found a              “Win or lose, no matter
touchdown to put Saskatchewan           the yardage we gained or pen-         Chris Folk, resulting in another       clear path into the end zone to       what happens the rest of the
in the lead, 7-3.                       alty yardage, and we can’t do that    field goal to cut it down to a one-    give the Clan their second lead       year, we’re getting better. Our
    The other came off a Bernd          against a team that good,” noted      possession game.                       of the contest, at 23-17, the first   kids are getting better [and] our
Dittrich interception – one of two      Johnson.                                  A couple series later, though,     advantage since they opened the       coaches are doing a better job.
on the afternoon – with 22 sec-             In the second half, however,      the Clan showed that big-strike        scoring.                              I’m proud of our guys,” said
onds left in the first half. Gabriel    the coaching staff and players        ability offensively, as Dittrich had       They continued to make big        Johnson.

                                                                                       the peak
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28            September 15, 2008                                                          SPORTS

Men’s Soccer

Clan get their revenge on defending champs
Matt Lee                                                                                                                                                              season to win, because every team
Associate Staff Contributor                                                                                                                                           that plays against us wants to beat
                                                                                                                                                                      us. We have to be extra prepared to
The SFU men’s soccer team had                                                                                                                                         win every game.”
some pretty unfortunate luck when                                                                                                                                         Koch believes that while the
it came to their regular season                                                                                                                                       team took the NAIA by surprise by
schedule. They opened their season                                                                                                                                    making it to the final four last year,
August 20 in Langley. Since then,                                                                                                                                     they also put a target on them-
they’ve travelled to Oregon, Wash-                                                                                                                                    selves for opponents. Labelled as a
ington State and back to Oregon.                                                                                                                                      top team, opponents feel the need
The team altogether has played                                                                                                                                        to bring more than 100 per cent to
eight games — all on the road.                                                                                                                                        the field when they play an SFU
    The team won’t get to play on                                                                                                                                     team that lost in the national semi-
their home field until September                                                                                                                                      finals a year ago.
27 against Seattle University, and                                                                                                                                        The journey back will continue
altogether have only three games at                                                                                                                                   to be the goal SFU strives for, but
Terry Fox Field. It appears the road                                                                                                                                  the team understands it’s going to
back to the NAIA final four won’t                                                                                                                                     need to continue its current work
come easy for the Clan, because                                                                                                                                       pace, and are hoping the second
the road is seemingly endless.                                                                                                                                        half will pave the way towards
    But despite two losses in its first                                                                                                                               qualifying for the nationals.
three games to start the season, a                                                                                                                                        “It’s hard to pinpoint individual
sub-par start for a team that comes                                                                                                     Josh Devins / SFU Athletics   players, the way the team’s been
off a 17-2-1 mark, SFU has rallied to     The men didn’t forget about last year’s disappointment and beat the team by which they were eliminated.                     playing,” Koch said. “It’s taken a
string a three-game winning streak                                                                                                                                    huge effort. Every individual has
together, including a huge 1-0 vic-       we can beat a team like that, we       to develop team chemistry.             from the start. In their first contest        stepped up their play recently and
tory over Asuza Pacific, the team         can beat any team.”                        “That’s been the biggest differ-   since being eliminated in the na-             we’re going to need everyone to
which ousted SFU in last year’s               The win against Asuza Pacific      ence between the first week of the     tional championships last year, the           continue [to do that] in order to be
NAIA National Championship and            has SFU riding the momentum            season and now . . . The team used     Clan were thumped at the hands of             successful,” he added.
won it all.                               rollercoaster at the highest point     to play a standard 4-4-2 formation     Trinity Western by a 5-1 score and                The men took another trip
    “It was huge [to beat Asuza],”        and offsets the slow start they had    but we mix it up now so our play-      seemed slow out of the gate.                  down south, this time to Montana,
Koch said. “Every time you play a         early in the year. Koch noted that     ers have to be aware of different          “We brought in a lot of new               with intentions of building on that
team ranked that high and [that           the first few weeks of the season      systems of play.”                      players and it takes time for a group         three-game winning streak during
has] won the national champion-           were tough because of the fact             As the Clan hit the halfway        like that to gel,” head coach Alan            their two-game weekend series.
ship . . . to go out and beat them        that many of the players needed to     mark of the season, it’s fair to say   Koch explained. “We’ve figured out            Check out for scores
gives us all sorts of confidence. If      adapt to new styles of play and also   they’ve been a rollercoaster ride      we need to work extra hard this               and game recaps.

Women’s Soccer
Previously undefeated Clan fall to Concordia in extra time
Matt Lee                                  Concordia University Cavaliers,        stretch the game past the 90-min-      become the most pleasant story                themselves on the field [that
Associate Staff Contributor               which notched a golden goal in         ute mark.                              early in the season, scored the               matters].”
                                          the eighth minute of extra time.           SFU had been 6-for-6 to open       second-half goal to will the Clan-               Leading the team offensively
The SFU women’s team didn’t                         The shocking part of the     the season, with its last win com-     swomen to victory.                            is Boulton, of course, who now
expect the perfect streak to con-         loss, given the women had been         ing against St. Martin’s, 1-0, last        Overall, though, despite the              has six goals in six matches
tinue, but it officially came to an       so dominant, was the fact they         Tuesday on home soil at Terry Fox      recent defeat at the hands of                 through one-third of the season.
end Friday afternoon, when the            were outshot 10-0. Yet, they were      Field.                                 Concordia, they’ve outscored                  A transfer from college to SFU,
Clan lost to the California-based         able to hang with Concordia and            Sarah Boulton, who’s clearly       their opponents 9-2 in the seven              she’s been a pleasant surprise for
                                                                                                                        contests they have played dem-                Howieson.
                                                                                                                        onstrates that the team can get                  “I knew she had the ability at
                                                                                                                        the job done both offensively                 the college level to be a sniper
                                                                                                                        and defensively and SFU seems                 and sometimes the transition
                                                                                                                        poised to make an appearance in               to university is difficult,” How-

                                                                                                                        the NAIA National Championship                ieson said. “But she’s come in
                                                                                                                        later this fall.                              and proved her worth and then
                                                                                                                            The undefeated season cer-                some.”
                                                                                                                        tainly gives the team reason to                  While Boulton has scored
                                                                                                                        believe they can go deep in the               two thirds of the Clan goals, by
                                                                                                                        national championship, but for                no means has she carried the
                                                                                                                        head coach Shelley Howieson, it’s             team on her own. SFU has won
                                                                                                                        a little surprising the team has an           four games by a 1-0 score this
                                                                                                                        unblemished record.                           year and have been victorious by

                                                                                                                            “The more I’m around this                 playing with a stronger defensive
                                                                                                                        group, the more I’m starting to               mentality.
                                                                                                                        trust and believe that we have                   Howieson claims her team’s
                                                                                                                        some of the hallmark signs of a               play in their own end is the biggest
                                                                                                                        championship team. Quite hon-                 plus the last couple of games.

                                                                                                                        estly, I’m pleased with where we                 The road only gets bumpier
                                                                                                                        are at this point, but more sur-              from here, as the Clan will have
                                                                                                                        prised, actually,” she explained.             their hands full with Trinity
                                                                                                                        “[However], I would never predi-              Western before taking on Carroll
                                                                                                                        cate the value of any team based
                                                                                                                        on their record; it’s how they put                         Continued on page 30

                                                                                          the peak
                                                                                       SPORTS                                                        September 15, 2008              29
NFL Commentaries

Pair of rookie QBs impress in week one

                                                                            Courtesy of                                                                         Courtesy of
Falcons rookie quarterback Matt Ryan proved that he belongs in the NFL, albeit                    Packers prodigy Aaron Rodgers threw for 174 yards through the air and ran one
against the tamed Lions. He threw a 66-yard touchdown on his first pass as a pro.                 in for a touchdown, capping it all off with a well-deserved Lambeau Leap.

Hasan Tahir                                    level, not making rookie mistakes and              Chad Klassen                                  centred on whether he was ready to
The Peak                                       taking care of the ball against Cincinnati.        Sports Editor                                 take over the reigns under centre. While
                                                   But it wasn’t just the quarterbacks that                                                     comparisons between Favre and Rod-
Week one was filled with its highs and         had good weekends. Eagles wide receiver            The NFL’s opening weekend created the         gers will run rampant all season long,
lows, as usual, but a number of rookies        DeSean Jackson caught six passes for a             most dramatic storylines to kickoff the       and throughout Rodgers’ career, he
enjoyed successful debuts and really stole     total of 106 yards receiving — a rare feat         season than any other in recent memory        temporarily put to rest all the ques-
the show, making a strong statement that       for a wide receiver — and was the star for         — none more than Aaron Rodger’s first         tions looming in the off-season when
they’re here to produce for their teams.       Philadelphia, which is missing its top two         start as a Packer, against the division-      the franchise shipped Favre to New York
     Coming into this season, only nine        receivers. If Jackson can continue to pro-         rival Minnesota Vikings no less.              and put the ball in his hands.
rookie quarterbacks had won the season         duce, it won’t be long before he becomes               Through the off-season soap opera,            Rodgers had a rough start, fumbling
opener for their teams since 1973. But         McNabb’s favourite target.                         there was and will continue to be pres-       the exchange on the first Packers drive.
now you can add two more names to that             However, Denver’s Eddie Royal bested           sure on Rodgers to take over a Lambeau        But he didn’t let that blunter affect him;
list: Matt Ryan of the Atlanta Falcons and     Jackson on Monday Night Football when              legend, while also matching last year’s       he redeemed himself big time early in
Joe Flacco of the Baltimore Ravens, who        he stole the show in Oakland, catching             13-win season that saw the Packers host       the second quarter, hitting Greg Jen-
both led their teams to victory.               nine passes for 146 yards receiving in-            the NFC Championship.                         nings on a Favre-like heave downfield
     In the case of Ryan, he has been given    cluding one for a touchdown.                           Adding to that pressure was the fact      for 56 yards down to the Vikings five-
the reins in Atlanta as the team moves             Royal wasn’t even supposed to be               that the aforementioned god in Green          yard line.
forward in a rebuilding year, away from        playing in Denver’s offense, because its           Bay, Brett Favre, put together a solid            A couple plays later, his mobility in
the Michael Vick dog-fighting scandal          star receiver Brandon Marshall received a          performance in Miami last Sunday in           the pocket gave him enough time to
that plagued the team last season.             suspension and was forced to sit out the           leading the Jets to a 20-14 win. Favre        find Korey Hall in the end zone for his
     Under tremendous pressure and scru-       opener, Royal was given an opportunity             was 15-of-22 and threw for 154 yards          first NFL touchdown, another throw
tiny by Falcons fans, Ryan set a statement     and made the most of it, now giving Den-           and two touchdowns, including a 56-           reminiscent of his former mentor.
on his first pass as an NFL quarterback by     ver two receivers that can be dangerous.           yard beauty to receiver Jericho Cotchery          But his moment of glory came late
hitting Michael Jenkins with a pass for a          On the ground, Bears rookie running            off a brilliant play-action fake.             in the fourth quarter. Rodgers plunged
66-yard touchdown. Even though Atlanta         back Matt Forte and Titans rusher Chris                You’d have to think Rodgers — and         forward on the quarterback sneak for
isn’t seen as a playoff threat, the Boston     Johnson led the pack last Sunday. Forte,           the rest of the Packers for that matter       his first rushing TD. When he emerged
College grad may have other ideas.             who replaced Cedric Benson in Chicago’s            — tuned in to watch their former team-        from the pile, he spiked the ball in cel-
     But regardless of how well the Falcons    backfield, proved that he was worth the            mate do his thing.                            ebration and then appropriately did the
do in the NFC standings, Ryan should be        sacrifice of cutting Benson. He ran for                However, even after witnessing            Lambeau Leap, showing some love to
a bright beacon of light on a team that        123 yards on 23 carries, including a 50-           Favre’s debut as a Jet, the pressure never    the Packers faithful — something he’d
has been cast in darkness over the past        yard touchdown scamper, as the Bears               seemed to affect Rodgers at all. He had       longed to do for three years.
year.                                          defeated the Colts 29-13.                          an equally impressive debut quarter-              That was the signature moment of
     In Baltimore, Flacco has a relatively         For his part, Johnson displayed his all-       backing his team to a victory.                the night. But his overall efficient out-
veteran team to help him and one of the        around skills, running for 93 yards and a              Against a bolstered Vikings front four,   ing on Monday night, posting an 82
NFL’s best defenses. Given those two fac-      TD, but also catching three passes for 34          which added the league’s sack leader          per cent completion rating (18-for-22)
tors, he only has to be good, not great, for   yards to help Tennessee beat their AFC             Jared Allen via trade in the offseason,       with 174 yards, points to a Packers team
the Ravens. That said, he displayed that       South rivals, the Jacksonville Jaguars.            the 4th-year Packer couldn’t have had a       that’ll be just fine without Favre.
he could be great as he connected on 15-           Felix Jones of the Cowboys and Ray             better first start in Green Bay.                  Rodgers is clearly the man in the
of-29 passes, threw for 129 yards, had no      Rice of the Ravens also had good days, as              He looked comfortable in the pocket,      Frozen Tundra. If he continues to de-
turnovers, and even ran for a 38-yard TD       both ran for 63 yards — with Jones scor-           behind a veteran offensive line, and was      velop chemistry with his teammates,
in the third to put Baltimore ahead 17-3       ing a touchdown.                                   athletic with his feet, scrambling around     and if Ryan Grant can have a repeat
over the Bengals and essentially put an            Some had great expectations some               to buy time in order to make plays.           performance in the backfield from
end to the game.                               had none but they all performed and it’s               The debate among fans, between the        last season, Green Bay will be well
     Flacco displayed that he can make         no coincidence their respective teams              trade in August and the Monday Night          on its way to repeating as NFC North
plays on the fly and can also keep his head    started the year with a win.                       Football opener against Minnesota,            champs.

                                                                                          the peak
30                   September 15, 2008                                                                           SPORTS

Cavaliers slow SFU’s offensive juggernaut, women 6-1
Continued from page 28                                                     up until this point, but there are a stretch of   point of the season, they understand that     Trans Canada to face Trinity Western Uni-
                                                                           games coming up that will prove our worth;        with a 6-0 record, the opportunity is there   versity in Langley on Tuesday night.
College at home on the 27th. It’s a rematch                                Trinity Western is always difficult, partic-      for the team to reach new heights for the         Students’ next chance to see in that
of last year’s NAIA Region I Championship                                  ularly at their place. Carroll College now        first time since the squad went all the way   aforementioned tilt against rival Carroll
game, when SFU was forced to travel to their                               seems to be our regional rival; they’ve got a     in 2000.                                      College, the second half of a SFU soccer
place and were handed a devastating shoot-                                 few young players that will run at us.”               “This is an extraordinary team.” How-     doubleheader that’s preceded by the men’s
out loss to Carroll College, being denied the                                  Even though the Clanswomen face a             ieson said with a smile.                      first home game.
opportunity to compete at the nationals.                                   tough stretch of games in the last few weeks          SFU, looking to bounce back and start
    “We’ve played a competitive schedule                                   of September, as they approach the halfway        another winning streak, travel down the          With files from SFU Sports Information

           Trash your Ex. Trash your roommates.
           Just don’t trash your old electronics.
             Here’s where they can be safely recycled free of charge around SFU:

             LEE’S BOTTLE DEPOT - BURNABY                                                           REGIONAL RECYCLING - BURNABY                                  SALVATION ARMY - BURNABY
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                 For more locations visit
             Q: What are the regulated electronic items included in the program?
             A:    DESKTOP COMPUTERS                             DESKTOP PRINTERS AND FAX MACHINES
                                         Includes Central Processing Units (CPUs), mouse, keyboards,                                         This includes printing devices that are designed to reside on
                                         cables and other components within the computer. This                                               a work surface, and includes various printing technologies,
                                         includes desktop computers, desktop computers acting as                                             including Laser & LED (electrophotographic), ink jet, dot
                                         servers, and all associated keyboards and cabling.                                                  matrix, thermal, dye sublimation, etc. and “multi-function” or
                                                                                                                                            “all in one” devices that perform different tasks such as copy,
                                         COMPUTER MONITORS                                                                                   scan, fax, print, etc.

                                         A display device used for displaying images from computers
                                         or other sources that does not meet the definition of a
                                         television. This includes traditional Cathode Ray Tube (CRT)                                       A video display device with an imbedded television tuner.
                                         and flat panel display technologies.                                                               This includes various display technologies, such as traditional
                                                                                                                                            Cathode Ray Tube (CRT), flat panel or rear projection.
                                         NOTEBOOK COMPUTERS
                                         Includes portable computers such as notebook, laptop and
                                         tablet PCs.

             Q: What electronic items are NOT included in the program?
             A: At this time stereos, CD players, DVD players and cell phones are not included in the program. Also, due to hazardous material regulations, computer
                        monitors or televisions with shattered glass screens cannot be accepted.

                                                                                           Recycling is the answer.
                                                                                    For more information visit electronics

      !EPE139_ThePeak.indd 1                                                                                       the peak                                                                           8/25/08 4:40:45 PM

  Wasserman & Partners Inc. Prepared by Traction Creative Communications
  DOCKET: EPE-P86117.38             FONTS: DIN
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                                                                                   SPORTS                                                                   September 15, 2008                     31
NHL Commentary

Oh, what has Gillis done in Vancouver?
Matt Lee
Associate Staff Contributor

“I don’t think this team is close
[to being a contender]. I think
there is a good foundation here. I
think this team needs to get faster.
It needs more grit, it needs to be
more competitive.”

    Those were the words eman-
ating from Canuck general man-
ager Mike Gillis’ mouth in April
when he was introduced as Dave
Nonis’ replacement. And so far,
I’m having a hard time figuring
out whether or not Gillis has
abided by his thoughts.
    Steve Bernier? He’s got the
potential and he has grit, but
he’s not going to surprise any-
body with speed. Pavol Demi-
tra? The scoring touch is there,
but can he even stay healthy for
more than 65 games?
    Darcy Hordichuk and Ryan
Johnson are great role players,
but they’re not overly fast, nor                                                                                                                                                       Courtesy of
will they make the difference in                                                                              has done little to bolster this 8/6/2008 1:59 PM Page 1
                                       Aside from attracting his former client, Pavol Demitra, GM Mike Gillis Campus_Plus_4x75_2009.qxp hockey team, despite all the promises.
games. As for Kyle Wellwood, he
is the polar opposite of what you      a few), might’ve also taken a        it’s now clear the Canucks would
would call ‘grit.’                     gamble on Wellwood had he still      have managed to sign prized                         Tomorrow’s Professionals
    Ultimately, Gillis and the         been employed by Vancouver.          youngster Fabian Brunnstrom                              Apply Today!
Canucks are entering training              What I’m trying to get at is     to a contract. The heightened
camp with a lot of questions. Are      that aside from Mike Gillis’ ex-     salary cap would’ve also allowed

                                                                                                                         Apply Online!
they better offensively than last      travagant offer to Mats Sundin       Nonis to bring a winger like Mi-
season? Take out Markus Nas-           in July, there hasn’t been a lot     chael Ryder into the fold.
lund and Brendan Morrison and          of “bold moves” like he had de-           In the end, it’s all cooler
insert Demitra and Bernier.            clared there would be in April.      talk. But the reality is that Gillis
    Last year, Naslund and Mor-            There still is the slim chance   hasn’t done anything in particu-
rison combined for 34 goals and        Mats Sundin may decide to            lar to give Canuck fans reason to
46 assists in 121 games, good for      take up Gillis on his $10-mil-       believe he was an upgrade over
0.66 points per game. Demitra          lion offer, a move which would       Nonis.                                                    Ontario Medical School Application Service
                                                                                                                                      September 15, 2008: Last day to register for
and Bernier totalled 31 goals and      surely put the Canucks in the             Sure, he can feed us a bunch
                                                                                                                                      online applications
55 assists in 144 games, which         atmosphere of contender. How-        of talk about how his intention
                                                                                                                                      October 1, 2008: Application deadline
translate to 0.60 points a game.       ever, that ship seems to have        with this team is to win now, and
    And while those statistics are     sailed and Gillis looks weak for     that he wants a younger, faster,
a little misleading considering        having spent most of his focus       and highly skilled group of for-
the fact Demitra played in de-         on Sundin rather than the other      wards, but on paper, he has ac-
fensive Minnesota and Bernier          free agent talent available the      complished very little.                     OLSAS
bounced around from San Jose           past summer.                              Faced with the premise of                Ontario Law School Application Service
to Buffalo, it’s still in the same         The question is, if Dave         having to go into the season with           November 3, 2008: Application deadline – First year
neighbourhood as Naslund and           Nonis were still employed by         the team he has now, the Can-                  May 1, 2009: Application deadline – Upper year
Morrison’s numbers.                    Vancouver, would we have seen        ucks still don’t look like a team
    The addition of Wellwood is        that much of a different team,       capable of making the play-
a move worthy of the ex-Canuck         and would it have been better        offs. But had owner Francesco
GM. Nonis, who had a knack for         than the one we see today?           Aquilini not pulled the trigger
bringing ousted NHLers back                There’s the possibility Nas-     on the exiled Dave Nonis, would
from obscurity (Anson Carter,          lund and Morrison may have re-
                                                                                                                                      Teacher Education Application Service
                                                                            we be going into training camp
                                                                                                                                      November 28, 2008: Application deadline
Taylor Pyatt, Kris Beech to name       turned for another season, and       with a better squad?

                                                                                                                         Ontario Rehabilitation Sciences Programs
                                                                                                                                               Application Service
                                                                                                                   (Audiology, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy/Physiotherapy,
                                                                                                                                                       Speech-Language Pathology)
                                                                                                                                         January 9, 2009: Application deadline

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                                                                                      the peak
                                                                                                                                         ETC                                                                                 September 15, 2008                   33
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One bedroom available for rent Apply now! Tutors needed for after-                                   the Rotunda). f3          Mon-Fri, 10:30am-4:30pm. TC 326                                                   what the FUCK happened to
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Also a two bedroom for rent start- hr. For more info, please contact                                 ing your fix-it skills? The SFU Bike    Bike in dispair? Don’t despair. Find                                              the veggie wraps in the caf?
ing September 1st for $895. Both Friends of Simon, Dept of Educa-                                    Tool Coop is looking for volunteer      the bike tools you need to fix it                                                 they were the only thing edible
include heat and light. Non-smok- tion, SFU at: or                                    mechanics to fill 1-2hrs weekly         at the SFU Bike Tool Co-op. All          The Peak is now putting Notices,
ing and no pets please. Address visit our website:                                  shifts this fall. bike@                                            Messages, and Personals in the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               in this school for a dece price
                                                                                                                                             Welcome. Mon-Fri 10:30-4:30. At
is 12398 104 Avenue, Surrey. For friends f3                                                 f3                            SFPIRG, TC 326 (2 floors above           ETC section, under the heading           and now they’re gone! i am not
additional information call 604-589- Office/Retail Assistant position avail-                         Not everyone has equal access           bus stop) f3               SHOUT-OUTS                               pleased about this
2410 after 3pm. I am selling a brand able at Eyes in Motion Vision Center                            to information! Join Letters for the    FREE TUTORING CLASSIFIEDS!               Peak Classifieds . . . Free to SFU
new textbook for BUS 343 for $100. located at the Cornerstone on cam-                                Inside - be a researcher for in-        Find tutors, jobs, resources, free       Students . . . Deadline: 2:30 pm         I just want to let everyone know
If you are interested, e-mail me to pus. If you want to work in a pro-                               quisitive prisoners. This SFPIRG        advertising, and more at f3                       fessional and friendly environment                             action group is seeking volunteer                                                                                         that if there are any 2nd 3rd or
                                      dealing with high fashion eyewear                              researchers to respond to 1-2 let-                                                                                        4th etc year students that want
                                                                                                                                                                          Teach English
                                                                                                                                             Get your research off the
                                      please submit your resume. Must                                ters per month. Training provided.      hill! You can do socially
                                      be available minimum 3 days per                       f3
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               to avoid the freshmen then the
                                                                                                                                             relevant research that
                                      week, have strong English speaking                             Volunteer at the SustainAB!LITY                                                                                           only escape is the SFU pub
BUS 321: 8th Cad Ed., STUDY skills and adhere to business casual
GUIDE W/ SOLUTIONS: $20. dress code. We are closed week-
POL100 D100 - Introduction to Poli- ends and all holidays. Please email
                                                                                                     Festival 2008! Join Sustainable
                                                                                                     SFU to promote green living on
                                                                                                     September 24! Contact volunteer@
                                                                                                                                             is need by a local com-
                                                                                                                                             munity group and earn
                                                                                                                                             course credit for it at the
                                                                                                                                                                            Overseas                                           I’m a newbie part-timer at the
                                                                                                                                             same time. ARX (Action
tics and Government. INTRO TO resume to gurjant@eyesinmotion.                               for more information. f3     Research eXchange)                                                                done lotsa living and I’m really
POLITICS (CCW), Required, $15. com. Learn more about us at www.                                      ArtStarts in Schools (Non-Profit)       links community orga-
CHIN 100, BILLIE NG: $15. Phi- f3                                                   is currently looking for volunteers                                                                                       chill,
                                                                                                                                             nizations with student
losophy: Core Questions in Philoso- Youth Leaders wanted: Play Active                                to assist with general office duties                                                                                      to write for The Peak would be
                                                                                                                                             researchers to further
phy, Elliot Sober, 2nd Edition: $15. Games, sports, crafts, computers:                               including greeting visitors into our    social and environmen-                                                            a superbaad thrill.
Please contact 778-839-7417 or 5-15hrs/week, 3-530pm Mon-Fri, in                                     Gallery space and working with all      tal justice, one project at
email f3                 Port Moody (10 mins from SFU).                                 of our office staff on various pro-                                     TESOL/TESL Teacher Training
                                                                                                                                             a time.                                                            get off that piano please.
                                      Contact: f3                              grams and projects (www.artstarts.      arx f3                                Certification Courses
                                      Professional insurance firm in                                 com. f3                                 EDITING AND PROOF-                                                                guy on 143 to SFU Friday Au-
                                      Vancouver hiring accounting and                                                                        READING SERVICES.              • Intensive 60-Hour Program
                                      customer service representatives.                                                                                                                                                        gust 12th around noon, pale
                                                                                                                                             All styles - essays, re-       • Classroom Management Techniques
1993 Saturn SL2 sporty sedan, 4 12-20 hours/week. No experience                                                                                                                                                                blue collared shirt, jeans, black
                                                                                                                                             ports, major papers, the-      • Detailed Lesson Planning
door, blue. 4 cyl. 1.9 litre 16v. Au- necessary. Training provided. Good
                                                                                                     Best place to find a tutor: www.        ses. Experienced with                                                             chucks, yellow back pack: you
tomatic, power steering, power win- communication skills required.                                                                                                          • ESL Skills Development
                                                                                            Free registra-      arts, business, health
dows, power locks, tilt wheel, cruise Please send your resume to Manjit                                                                                                     • Comprehensive Teaching Materials                 are gorgeous!
                                                                                                     tion for tutors. Free searching for     care, science and tech-
control, radio/cassette. Great stu- at f3
                                                                                                     students. f7                            nology.       Reasonable       • Interactive Teaching Practicum                   girls gotta have her secret.
dent car $2995. 604-781-7093. f4      Frontier College, a national, non-
                                                                                                     English/ESL Tutoring, Paper Edit-       rates. 1-250-507-7474.
                                      profit literacy organization, is look-                                                                                                • Internationally Recognized Certificate
                                                                                                     ing, and Resume Services? BCCT          Website: www.owled.                                                               SENIOR PRANK, SENIOR
                                      ing for volunteer tutors to work                                                                       com. Email: editor@            • Teacher Placement Service
                                      one-on-one with children, youth and                            certified teacher and experienced                                                                                         PRANK, hahahhahahahahahh
                                                                                                     tutor (over 8 years) available to f5                   • Money Back Guarantee Included
                                      adults. Orientation and training pro-
Macintosh 1.33mhz 12” Powerbook vided. Contact Jennifer Wesman at                                    assist you with your spoken and                                      • Thousands of Satisfied Students                    You don’t win friends with
Titanium grey Excellent condition                                                                    written English needs. Online help
                                                                                                                                             We are looking for par-
                                                                                                                                                                          OXFORD SEMINARS
                                                                                                                                                                          604-683-3430/1-800-269-6719                          Attn People Who don’t Usually
                                                                                                                                             ticipants to fill in ques-
                                                                                                                                             tionnaires about person-                                Have Sat. Night Plans: The SNL
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               premier is tonight and I will

                                                                                                                            ABA Therapist Wanted
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               be at home doing laundry and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               watching it if anyone cares to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               join. Feel free to bring roomies,
                                                                                                                            We are looking for someone interested in working with                                              hobos etc.
                                                                                                                            young children to join our energetic team of Lovaas-based                                          Oh god, I can’t believe I’ve been
                                                                                                                            ABA therapists assisting our 3-year-old autistic son.                                              at school for 11 hours. And I
                                                                                                                            You will work under the supervision of a local behavioural                                         have so much to do.
                                                                                                                            consultant and training will be provided, so a background                                          Do you think they will have
                                                                                                                            in early childhood education or ABA experience is an asset                                         poutine at the wedding?
                                                                                                                            but is not essential. For those of you with experience, this is                                    Yay!!! This week is making me
                                                                                                                            an excellent opportunity to further develop your skills with                                       understand why people drop

   UNITED CHURCH @ SFU                                                                                                      very young children.                                                                               out of school :P crunking will
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               make me remember why I stay

                                                                                                                            You must be energetic, enthusiastic, dependable and                                                in :)
                                                                                                                            willing to commit to one year of at least 2 three-hour shifts
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               your words here your words                                                                                                 per week and be able to attend team meetings twice per
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               here your words here your
    Minister: Rev. Dr. Douglas Throop,, 778-782-8474
    Children and Family Ministry: Gabriella McLarty 778-782-8474
                                                                                                                            month. You must also be willing to travel to our home in                                           words here your words here
                                                                                                                            West Vancouver, near Whytecli Park, which is easily acces-                                         your words here your words
    Weekly Communion – Wed. @ 12:30 PM • Labyrinth Walk Wed @ 12 noon
    Sunday Worship and Sunday School – 10:00 AM                                                                             sible by bus. Starting salary is $14/hour but is negotiable                                        here your words here your
    Caring for our Earth (Children) Wed. 3:15 – 5:15
    Coffee Time Thurs 10:30 -11:30 AM • Choir Practice Thurs 7:00 PM
                                                                                                                            based on experience.                                                                               words here your words here
    Spiritual Parenting Friday 10:15 – 11:45 AM • Youth Group Grade 8-10 TBA                                                For more information please call Brenda at (604) 925-0595                                          email shout-outs to
    United Church @ SFU – Cornerstone Building Unit 160- inside beside SFU Trust                                            or email at                                                           
                                                                                                                                      the peak
                      September 15, 2008

Ewe of A
                                           ur                      Norman Lau
                                                                                            humour editor

                                                                                  John as Animals: Episode I
                                                                                                             Stacey McLachlan

                                                                                                                       John Morrison III

Back to School                                                     Chris Brown

Aliens                                                     Adrian Binakaj (CUP)
                                                                                  4th Wall Smash                            Brady Ehler

Riverheights                                                 Tyler Clarke (CUP)

                                                                                  The Pinata is a Fish Too             Stacey McLachlan

Inconsistent Biomix                                         Jared Gowen (CUP)

                           make mama proud.
               submit comics and written laughables to
                        and probs get published. maybe. i guess.

                                                the peak
                HUMOUR                                                    September 15, 2008          35
BFFs                      Stacey McLachlan

                                             The mysterious
                                             beer mystery
                                             Investigative journalism at its finest
                                             Nick Smyth
                                             The Peak

                                             It’s the fall semester, and this means that we are about to
Beaver Comics    Peanut Buttah & Ham (CUP)
                                             be deluged with complaints from those people: the cynical,
                                             hard-bitten SFU students who think that our illustrious
                                             institution a) has no social scene, b) is run by people who
                                             don’t care that it has no social scene, and c) has a ridicu-
                                             lously overpriced pub.
                                                  There is a reason we always hear from these people, and
                                             the reason is this: they are correct. Personally, I’ve come to
                                             accept that a) through c) are just facts about SFU. Period.
                                             In fact, I’d vowed not to set foot in the Pub this year.
                                                  Imagine my joy, then, when I read that the Highland
                                             Pub is making a gesture after all these months of gouging:
                                             10 dollar pitchers. That was so much fun to type that I think
                                             I’ll type it again: 10 dollar pitchers. The Peak was crystal
                                             clear on this: “The Highland Pub will be offering $9.99
                                             pitchers . . .” Glee!
                                                  “…of Labatt Winchester.” Ah! Um. Oh. Of . . . of what?
                                                  Devoted investigative reporter that I am, I immedi-
                                             ately scooped up a fellow drunkard and proceeded to the
                                             Highand Pub with all speed. I approachead the bar and
                                             ordered the Winchester, but was told I’d have to wait an
                                             hour until the $9.99 special was on. Gentle readers: this is
                                             how devoted we were to divining the essence and nature of
                                             Labatt Winchester: We ordered water so as not to spoil our
                                                  At this time, we decided to google the phrase “Labatt
                                             Winchester.” There were basically three hits for this phrase:
                                             a Facebook application for rating beer, a site that according
                                             to Google “will harm your computer,” and, you guessed it,
                                             the aforementioned story in The Peak. No mention of the
                                             beer on the Labatt website, and no listing of it on any of-
                                             ficial site. Curiouser and curiouser . . .
                                                  40 minutes later, I approached the bar and ordered a
                                             pitcher of Obscure Mystery Ale, and the bartender, obvi-
                                             ously having read her Aristotle, bent the rules a bit and
                                             decided to serve one to me.
                                                  “Be honest,” I said, “what is this beer, really?”
                                                  “Labatt Winchester!” said the barkeep, just a little too
                                                  “We made it up,” said a sever next to me.
                                                  “No we didn’t!” insisted the bartender.
                                                  “Well I’ve never heard of it,” snarled the server.
                                                  “Ladies,” I interrupted, “please do not argue on my ac-
                                             count.. If you’re going to squabble, please do it physically,
                                             because you are both extremely attractive and I would find
                                             that arousing.”
                                                  As the pitcher was poured in the inexplicably uncom-
                                             fortable silence that followed, I had a wee gander at the
                                             Winchester tap, hoping that its design would provide some
                                             clue as to the beer’s origin. I am not making this up: it was
                                             an unmarked tap with a beer coaster taped to it and the
                                             word “Winchester” was scrawled on the beer coaster.
                                                  Gentle readers, I do not pretend to know what is going
                                             on at the Highland Pub. Perhaps Winchester is some new,
                                             exciting brand of ale that SFU students are being treated to
                                             in advance of its official release. Perhaps the pub has mixed
                                             ginger ale and rubbing alcohol and is serving it to us. Or,
                                             perhaps a secret, deadly plague of brain-eating nano-bots
                                             is infesting the student population and Labatt Winchester
                                             contains the antidote. I no longer care. The stuff is cheap
                                             and drinkable. It tastes a bit like normal beer with maple
                                             syrup dumped into it, but hey, this is Canada, you should
                                             goddamn well be dumping maple syrup into your beer
                                             anyway. I urge you to go and support the Pub on this one,
                                             though perhaps not as vigorously as I supported it last
                                             night (I am currently in a great deal of pain).
                                                  Just before my utterly shittered compatriot and I
                                             downed our final glass, we raised them to each other, and
                                             in a time-honoured tradition, gave a toast: “Here’s to Labatt
                                             Winchester,” we slurred, “whatever the hell it is.”

                 the peak
36        September 15, 2008                                            LAST WORD

                                 E          The all-nighter: The naked truth exposed:
                                            Up the weaving roads of the majestic Burnaby Mountain lays an ostensible
                                            peak of education. But behind the doors of lecture halls, and beyond the space
                                            of Convo Mall lies an underground society composed of thrill seekers who love
                                            nothing more than to convert rooms of learning into large love nests.
                                            While sitting in an ordinary lecture room, a young woman says to a few of her
                                            mates, “This classroom is good to screw in.” In this curious case, all friends
                                            agree with nods. This same young woman now gives us an insider scoop into
                                            the shadowy world of the lecture room romp.
                                                Our insider came exclusively forward to tell her fellow students all about the
                                            joys of late night campus fornication. She did, however, wish to remain anony-

                                                                                                                                    ON CAMPUS
                                            mous and will be from here on in known as Cara throughout what follows.

There is a reclusive group of                   According to Cara, there is a reclusive group of both couples and individu-
                                            als that engage in sexual adventures in various lecture rooms in the late hours
                                            throughout Simon Fraser’s Burnaby campus. The count of this very group is

both couples and individu-                  difficult to measure due to no official statistics and Cara’s own admission that
                                            she cannot vouch for people she does not know. What she can refer to though
                                            are her close friends and the basic commonality of these very people living in

als that engage in sexual                   Residence atop this mountain. Some have irresistible fetishes, while others love
                                            the danger of being pursued, or have an insatiable inner desire to be actors in
                                            the roles of teachers and bad students in their naturalized setting.

adventures in various lec-                      And what do they do? “They’ve done it all,” says Cara. Think of your basic
                                            porn and in most cases it has probably been reenacted to some extent in the
                                            chairs of one of our lecture rooms. To ask if it’s a generational thing or a cultural

ture rooms in the late hours                thing would only be determined by alumni and a survey of students at other
                                            schools. In an average lecture hall the best places to do it would usually concen-
                                            trate in relative location to the doors in the room.

throughout Simon Fraser’s                       In the Shrum science halls, a location farther to the back is more appropri-
                                            ate. That way you are, at the very least, aware of a person entering before that
                                            person is aware of what they are witnessing. But once again, it comes down to

Burnaby campus.                             preference and how far an individual is willing to go. One consensus taken by
                                            a limited pool would point to areas deeper in, such as rows with more chairs
                                            around as opposed to the complete last row in the back. The second to last row
                                            or even the middle of the entire room is far more daring. The utter end of a row
                                            can also be favourable as it gives more room for the flinging and swinging of
                                            appendages. It may diminish the caged factor but increases the feeling of naked
                                            freedom in a large unsecured room.
                                                But why and how do sexually inclined students venture off in lecture rooms
                                            during the night? Most conclude it is the sensation and possibility of getting
                                            caught. The problem is not getting into a room. Sources have referred to one
                                            individual who has approximately two dozen master keys to various rooms
                                            throughout the university. While some rooms may be closed, others are un-
                                            doubtedly open. With the lack of known incidents, it’s difficult to identify spe-
                                            cific people. But one thing is for sure, the sensation and risk of possibly getting
                                            caught far outweighs the possible consequence of actually getting in trouble.
                                            Incidents have appeared unreported if stumbled upon at all by night crews,
                                            staff, and students working late. This isn’t to criticize SFU’s security and mainte-
                                            nance crews. They have proven to do an amazing job with what they have and
                                            after all, it is not within their job descriptions or jurisdiction to catch others in
                                            various positions.
                                                Just imagine the pure thrill of being physically and emotionally (though
                                            mostly physically) entranced in the act of sex with your significant, or tempo-
                                            rary, other with the lingering and intoxicating fear of being caught in the act.
                                            Like with many thrills, it’s the thought of it happening that is the most exhilarat-
                                            ing. The reality of getting caught would surely be but an afterthought.
                                                But would punishment even be issued? “Most likely not,” say participants
                                            being unable to imagine any consequences. And most security and passers-by
                                            would agree to no harsh slap on the wrist, but only a small reprimanding and a
                                            request to leave the premises.
                                                As it turns out, this institution may be something more than just an intel-
                                            lectual place of higher learning. In the after hours, echoes and muffled moans of
                                            pleasure can be heard in lecture rooms throughout the university.                       By David Kobylanski
Last Word Policy
The opinions presented here are the author’s, and do not necessarily reflect those of The Peak. This space is here for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Ar-
ticles should be 800-1,000 words. For more information, call Shara Lee at 778.782.4560 or e-mail Say anything, the last word is yours!

                                                                                the peak

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