Tattooed Hottie Minute
The Muttsworthy
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The Muttsworthy Minute                                                                                                 SPECIALIZING IN
                                                                                                                     SURFACE PIERCINGS
                                                                                                                  & MICRO DERMAL ANCHORS
  Dave and the guys over at Intense! Ink Magazine asked me to write a monthly column focusing
on some of the ridiculous laws passed or proposed by city and town officials around the country
and give you my opinions on them. I’m not sure if there will be enough stupid laws either proposed                  10 YEARS EXPERIENCE
or already on the books to be able to do this column in every issue, but I’ll give it a shot.

Dateline: Oklahoma                                                                                                    TEACHING SEMINARS &
The Oklahoma Health and Human Services Committee passed a bill outlawing eyeball tattooing,                             PIERCING CLASSES
and now the bill is going to be voted on in the states House and Senate.
Muttsworthy’s Opinion: Is eyeball tattooing a problem? So far, we’ve seen one video online of a                         WRITER FOR
guy getting his eyeball tattooed. Are any tattoo shops doing this? No. Call around and the tattoo
artists in Oklahoma (and pretty much every other state) and ask if they’ll tattoo your eyeball, and
                                                                                                                    INTENSE! INK MAGAZINE
they will all tell you that you’re nuts. So, thousands (if not millions) of tax payer dollars have been
spent on this? A problem that isn’t even a problem? These law makers need to find something                              AVAILABLE FOR
better to do with their time.
                                                                                                                          GUEST SPOTS
Muttsworthy’s Conclusion: I’m not really against an anti-eyeball tattooing law, who knows,
maybe it will save some idiot from blindness someday. I am worried that this may open the door to
restrictions on tattooing other body parts, like hands, fingers, feet and faces. At this time, however,                   KNOWLEDGE
this whole thing is a big waste of time.
                                                                                                                         & EXPERIENCE
Dateline: Illinois
State Senator Martin Sandoval, D-Chicago, has written a bill that would crack down on tattoo artists
who draw and/or tattoo gang symbols. Artists who tattoo a gang symbol could be fined and possibly
lose their license.                                                                                                                  TWISTED TATTOO
Muttsworthy’s Opinion: Let’s think about this one. First off, the vast majority of gang tattoos are
done by scratchers, and not by artists in shops. Those “scratcher” tattoos are ALREADY illegally                        4168 N. Elston Ave. - Chicago, IL 60618
done. We don’t need another law in addition to that, enforce the laws that are already on the books.
Passing a law against artistic expression, no matter how distasteful that expression may be is
completely against everything this country stands for. The government has no business at all telling
people what types of images that people can or cannot get tattooed on their body.
Muttsworthy’s Conclusion: I’m not for gang tattoos, but this law is a complete waste of time and
tax payer money. It won’t stand up in court, it’s artistic censorship, plain and simple. What’s next, a
ban on dirty word tattoos?

Dateline: Iowa
The Iowa Department of Public Heath has proposed new regulations on Iowa tattoo shops which
include raising fees. Shop fees would go from $25 to $150 per year, artist fees would go from $40 to
$100 per year, and the annual inspection fee for tattoo shops would raise from $200 to $250.
Muttsworthy’s opinion: The state claims that they want to “improve disease prevention
methods, increase education for inspectors and artists, and enhance sanitation practices”, yet law
enforcement officials aren’t even clear on, nor in some cases, enforcing the rules that are already
on the books. In addition to raising fees, this measure is deigned to place new restrictions on legal
tattoo establishments. Tattoo artists will now have to have a high school diploma or pass the GED.
I’ve even heard that mobile tattoo units will also have to pay the inspection fee per event instead
of per year. It’s still unclear on how this will effect the 3 yearly tattoo conventions that are held in
the state.
Muttsworthy’s Conclusion: This is nothing more than a cash grab and new restrictions, the state
should just call it what it is.
Written By: Thurston Muttsworthy IV

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                                                  March 2009 – INTENSE!                                    INK – Midwest Edition – www.intenseinkmagazine.com – 21

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