A not so long time ago, in a state not so far away… Scene Three: Bay Area, California
Hans was born…
ACT I: The Youth Hans: Summer School Principal Mike, can you take my class of
Scene One St. Michael’s Hospital - Stevens Point, WI March 2nd, 1973 50 geometry students down in the art room…I HAVE to run?
Markyn: (in a Berkeley hospital room) “Waaaa” “zzzzzzZZZZ”
Father: (walking out of the hospital room to check a Packer game) Ellie: I need German Chocolate Cake!
Yes, he’s handsome. What do you think, Adolf or Otto? …
Mother: Greg! (with desperation to the nurse) Hans: Congrats Ellie! Will we be the last to get the services of a
Quick, give me a list of German boy names. massage therapist? Now, when do we move back to CST?
Father: (returning smiling) Ellie: Let’s wait and move to one more apartment out here.
Don’t worry Sandie, the Packers are winning. Hans: Oh yeah, and where else haven’t we taken the BART?
Mother: His name will be Hans, Hans Gregory Ott.
Father: Wonderful. We can save Otto Ott for his brother to be. Act III: Minnesota
Scene One: Minnetonka, MN
Scene Two: Split-level home on a small court.
Math Staff: Welcome to Nerd fest. Would you like a brat?
Mother: Hans, this is your new brother, Lance. Hans: No thanks, I’m vegan.
Hans: (with fist) SMACK … (in a Methodist hospital delivery room.)
Father: Hans! Kalea: “Waaaa” “Waaaa” “Waaaaa”
Mother: Greg, I don’t need a girl. Math Staff: How about another brat?
… Hans: Thanks
Hans: Mom, are we at Dad’s this weekend? … (in a Methodist hospital delivery room.)
Lance: Mom, where’s my hockey stick? Tieryn: “Waaaa Waaaa” “zzzzzzzz”
Hans: Lance, do you have any tape? Math Staff: You can’t leave. Who will be: department/district
Lance: I gave you my roll two days ago. Where is it? chair, run the T.V. show, teach AP Statistics, DJ formal dances
Hans: Hey, goalies use a lot of tape. an eat the last brat?
Mother: Are you two ready? We’re going to be late. Hans: Jim and Darren.
ACT II: College Scene Three: Mound, MN ~ Seoul, Korea ~ Germany ~ Jeju, Korea
Scene One Years later at the University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire (in a home in Mound, MN)
Hans: Should we go?
Hans: (on knee at on a sandstone point)Will you marry me? Ellie: Yeah!
Ellie: Yes. Hans: Should we go?
…Later that week… Markyn, Kalea, Tieryn: Yeah!
Hans: Hey James. How is Australia? Hans: Should we go?
James: Great, mate! How is Eau Claire? How jazz band? All Parents: No!
Hans: Well, I am getting married! …(in a 13th floor apartment in Seoul, South Korea)
James: (cough, hack, cough) What!?! To Ellie? Markyn, Kalea, Tieryn: It’s hot here in Seoul. Can we turn the
Hans: Yeah! We are getting married in MN next year during my air on?
junior year after we get back from a semester in Scotland. Ring Ring
James: Wait, so you’re engaged, going to Scotland for a semester Ellie: Hi Hans, I blew a circuit. Send someone to help.
while I am living with my sister eating generic food. Did we Hans: I think they said they will be there in 15 days with 5
really graduate from high school together? people after they eat something called bundagee?
Hans: You gotta know when to hold’em, know when to walk … (on the island of Jeju of the south coast of Korea)
away, know when to say “I do”. Hans: Guten Tag.
Markyn: Dad! Were not on vacation anymore.
Scene Two: University of Wisconsin – Eau Claire, December 1996 Kalea: Yeah, we’re not in Germany anymore.
Tieryn: Dad, we say “Ahn yo ha say yo” to say hello.
Mother: Now there is another teacher in the family. Wait, you’re Ellie: I prefer living here next to the ocean vs. Seoul.
moving where? Hans: SCUBA instructor Ralph, are you sure this is the right size
Hans & Ellie: Hey Lance! Now you can move into our old snorkel for me?
Lance: Hans, are you and Dad really going to U-Haul your stuff Scene three: In-laws home in Rochester, MN
all the way to Berkeley?
Dad: Yeah, that should be a blast with blizzard warnings out. Family: Welcome Home… don’t do that again!
Mother-in-law: We will visit as soon as that baby is born. Markyn, Kalea, Tieryn: Look at all the cereal!
Father-in-law: Ellie is traveling across the country with who? Ellie: What happen to my car?
Hans: Do they have cheese in California? Hans: Can I have my job back?
C a s t Ellie: How about moving to St. Paul?
Father (Greg) Wife (Ellie) Father-in-law (Randy) Hans: Sound great? Let’s go school hunting.
Mother (Sandie) Best Friend (James) Daughters (Markyn, Ellie: I read about this school, Open School.
Brother (Lance) Mother-in-law (Cindy) Kalea & Tieryn) Hans: Let’s check it out.