St Ives Newsletter Format by tyndale


									   TRIVIA NIGHT : Hassell Park Clubhouse SAT 24TH NOV - 7.00PM
Welcome        back     to     season    The committee has been working         it (and sometimes it shows), we do
2001/2002. By no stretch of the          hard this year to ensure the ongoing   in fact have training every week.
imagination did St. Ives Cricket Club    success of the club. They can only     Training is the difference between
have its strongest season last year.     do so much. At the end of the day it   being a player and a contributor.
A gradual decline was evident,           is about the willingness of every      There is no better way to ensure
particularly after 98/99, which saw      member to participate.                 success than by showing up to
the mighty Saints dominate in most       With the advent of a weekly            training every week. Training is
grades.                                  newsletter, we hope to keep you        currently on every Sunday at 1.00.
The last couple of years have seen a     informed with how you can help the     It will revert to Wednesday at 5.00
drop    in   participation,   on-field   club. Firstly, we hope that you can    once daylight savings hits our
success and funds. This can be           come back to the clubhouse each        shores.
attributed to many factors, including    week. A barbeque and drinks are        Finally, you can participate by
the Olympics and retirements. Only       available. It is also a good           sending in articles for this very
one factor will turn this around,        opportunity to meet new people. On     newsletter. Despite this brilliant
however, that is players giving back     Saturday 24th, November the annual     editorial, Saints is still not paying
to the club.                             Trivia Night will be held. This is a   me. Any contribution is completely
This is not hard to do and,              fun occasion for all and there is an   voluntary, however, we do like to
surprisingly, we can all have fun        opportunity to win prizes as well.     read and ponder the thoughts of
doing it. Simply turn up to the          One thing that came through            current St. Ives members.
clubhouse each week, participate in      strongly in the Captain‟s reports is   Good luck for the upcoming rounds
training and help the club in behind     the need for players to train.         & be sure to read the President‟s
the scenes work.                         Although many people don‟t realise     address on the next page.

           Club Championship                                              Best of the Round
                                                                                   Round 1
                 Kenthurst               306                         Batting
             WPH – Cherrybrook           276                        Nevin Nath (C1)               113
                 Mt. Colah               224
                                                                    Nevin Nath (C1)              5/37
                Kissing Point            202
                                                                    Richard Shun Wah (C3) 5/37 & 5/46
                  St. Ives               190
                                                                                   Round 2
                Normanhurst              187
               Castle Hill RSL           181
                                                                     Murray Ellen (C3)                   134
                 Wahroonga               173
              Galston Glenorie           156
                                                                     Nevin Nath (A2)                    7/14
                  Berowra                155

  St. Ives Cricket Club :                      Shirts: $30              Caps: $15                 Both: $40!
To our friends and members,

The new season is underway and our club has had mixed results in the first two matches.

Our B2 & C3 teams have recorded two wins and are dominating their respective grades so far. Well
done and congratulations to the Captains, Leon Paap and Richard Shun Wah.

Apart from C1, our other sides have yet to record a win although D1‟s just missed out on an outright
last game, but for bad light.

Practice makes perfect and I encourage all members to present themselves at training on Sundays to
hone their skills.

Special thanks to Ian Black “Country” for organising our pre-season dinner. Our next major event will
be the Trivia Night on 24 November 2001. Now is the time to organise your team and tables. We
promise some great prizes!

Nick Shannon.

      Function                       Date                                              Venue

      Trivia Night                   Saturday, November 24th                           Hassell Park

      Presentation Night             TBA                                               Hassell Park

The Club has set aside major Social functions for our member‟s enjoyment. It is vital that these events
are well patronized as funds raised from these functions represent 30% of revenue to offset expenses.
The alternative is another sharp rise in fees, less services and no social interaction of teams. Your
Social Committee will advise of details via the Newsletter.

The next event on the Social Calender is Trivia Night. This is a great occasion to win prizes, meet new
people and have a good time. Food and drinks are available and it would be very much appreciated if
you could make the time to participate in this event. Simply turn up after the game, on November 24 th
and you can organise a team, or you can be added to another table.

       The Devils challenged the Angels to a game of cricket. "But we've got all the cricketers," said the
                      Angels. "Yes. But we've got all the umpires!" exclaimed The Devils.

                                        After winning the toss and batting St Ives started promisingly with 27 runs
    A Grade Ladder                      off the 1st 2 overs. However with the steady fall of wickets and some
       Kenthurst              12        tight bowling and fielding from ARL we struggled to amass 169 runs from
           ARL                7         45 overs.
        Mt Colah              7         Batting highlights were provided by Mark "Nudge" Garrod (26) at the top
                                        of the order and the middle order combination of Mark Lees (37*), Alex
        Beecroft              7
                                        Lees (27) and Rowan Pryor (22).
        Berowra               7         On a flat track we needed to bowl well and did so with tight bowling for
    WPH-Cherrybrook           7         the first 20 overs. Wickets were shared amongst Ian "Country" Black
      Kissing Point           7         (3/37 off 12 overs), Rowan "Stumpy" Pryor (1/27 off 9 overs) and Martin
        St. Ives              2         "Bluey" Laird (1/76 off 11 overs). Andy Hall also bowled well but without
                                        reward. The fielding was below par with several easy chances going to
  Coming Up: St. Ives V Kissing Point
  at “The Glade”                        ground. Had we held these, things may have been different.
  Last week: Kissing Point 7/204 def.   There is plenty of potential in this line-up but we need to improve our
  ARL 55 and 1/70                       fielding to be a real contender in A Grade this year.

ARL 5/172 (Ian Black 3/37, Rowan Pryor 1/27, Martin Laird 1/76) defeated St Ives 169 (Mark Lees 37*, Alex Lees
27, Mark Garrod 26, Rowan Pryor 22) on first Innings

                                MVP: 2 Points = Rowan Pryor, Ian Black & Mark Lees

St Ives bowled first against WPH who despite losing two early wickets managed to compile 253 from their 50
overs. The highlights for St Ives included the bowling of the team youngster Rowan Pryor (3/25 off 8 overs),
Martin Laird (2/60 off 17). The lowlight was the fielding - at least 5 catches went down.
Although fairly daunting, that score was gettable on what was a very flat wicket. We got off to a solid start with
Chris Stott (35), Michael Hagley (30) and Mark Garrod (26) the main contributors. With 10 overs left, the
equation was approximately 80 runs, 60 balls, and 4 wickets in hand.
Bradley Apps (68) at this stage was in the middle of a tremendous aggressive innings and in partnership with Alex
Lees (25) turned the equation into a much more favourable 28 from 27 balls. Unfortunately at this point the
wheels fell off and we proceeded to lose our last four wickets for 11 runs, leaving us 17 runs short of the target.
All in all this was a disappointing loss. Our batsmen fought well, as did our bowlers. Unfortunately the fielding was
not of A Grade standard and is the main reason we are sitting on 2 points after 2 rounds as opposed to 12.
With the return of daylight savings and mid-week training later this month expect we need to work on our fielding
as well as our batting and bowling.

WPHC 7/253 (Rowan Pryor 3/24, Martin Laird 2/59, Andy Hall 1/58) defeated St Ives 236 (Brad Apps 68, Chris
Stott 35, Michael Hagley 30) on first innings

                  MVP: 3 Points = Brad Apps, 2 Points = Rowan Pryor & 1 Point = Michael Hagley

                                         It was never going to be an easy task, as we were drawn to play last
                                         year‟s top three sides in our first three games. First up, the defending
   A2 Grade Ladder                       premiers ARL. We went in to field first in very windy conditions, the first
       Kenthurst              12         hour neither side gave anything away. A very slow run rate and no wickets
          ARL                 8          provided a frustrating period of time. After this however the wickets came
     Castle Hill RSL          7          freely with Doug Bennie bowling superbly, eventually taking 5/32. With
                                         ARL on the ropes, we unfortunately let them go with the last couple of
    Galston Glenorie          7
                                         wickets putting on 100+. They were finally bowled out for 247. Better
        Mt Colah              7          fielding and they could‟ve been restricted to 150.
    WPH-Cherrybrook           7          With such a young and inexperienced side, 247 was always going to be an
        St. Ives              3          imposing task. With the exception of a superb 84 by Stephen Morrissey,
        Beecroft              2          no one managed to really go on with it. Headed to defeat with 8 wickets
                                         down and an hours play to go, we‟d all but given up a win. However, we
  Coming Up: St. Ives V Galston
  Glenorie at “Normanhurst”              did manage to snatch a draw thanks to Doug Bennie‟s very solid 24* and
  Last week: Galston Glenorie 118 Lost   great support from Roger Hokin. We ended up 8/179. The only real
  to ARL 129 & 3/119                     difference between the two sides was a better fielding effort.

ARL 247 (Doug Bennie 5/37, Craig Simpson 2/47, Alex Dewstow 1/47, Stephen Morrissey 1/16) drew
with St. Ives 8/179 (Stephen Morrissey 84, Doug Bennie 24*)

              MVP: 3 Points = Stephen Morrissey, 2 Points = Doug Bennie & 1 Point = Alex Dewstow

Fielding first up, once again, the Saints were keen for their first victory of the season. WPH started quite solidly
managing to amass 0/123. However, this didn‟t deter the A2 side, as new recruit Nevin Nath was brought into
bowl. Taking 2 quick wickets before the drinks break, the Saints fortune was taking a turn for the better.
Unfortunately, Bennie and Nath forgot that cricket resumed after drinks and were nowhere to be seen for a good
20 minutes. Replacing Nath, Captain Karrasch came on, bowling superbly for 3 quick wickets. Upon, Nath‟s return
he resumed brilliantly finishing off with career best figures of 7/14. WPH were all out for 209, certainly a gettable
Saints ended up with 191, falling just short of the target. It was a thrilling game for all. More consistency
throughout the batting line-up and an improved fielding effort will see the Saints at finals time at the end of the
year. Especially with a much easier draw coming up and in a very strong position to beat last years premiers

WPHC 209 (Nevin Nath 7/14, Stephen Karrasch 3/36) defeated St. Ives 191 (Stephen Karrasch 46,
Nevin Nath 15) on first innings

                                MVP: 3 Points = Nevin Nath & 3 Points = Ben Gussey

                                        The Saints highest hope of obtaining a premiership this year, along with
   B2 Grade Ladder                      the mighty C3‟s, did not disappoint in the early rounds. Leon Paap, taking
         St. Ives            12         over the captaincy from St. Ives longest serving player Geoff Martz, has
            ARL              7          certainly not let anyone down. The B2 side is already screaming ahead of
        Kenthurst            7          the competition and will be looking to keep up some good early season
       Kissing Point         7
                                        The B2 side managed to kick off the season with a very convincing win
        Wahroonga            7          over ARL, light being the only factor in not obtaining an outright victory.
        WPH (Red)            7          Run scoring veteran Tim Paterson kicked started the season with a lovely
       WPH (Blue)            7          66, very ably supported by Cameron Fraser – who quickly earned a
         Beecroft            2          promotion to A2‟s.
                                        The bowling was just as promising and it was no surprise to see young
 Coming Up: St. Ives V Kissing Point
 at “Bannockburn”                       guns Jason Corbett and Robert Relton in the thick of the action, both
 Last week: Kissing Point V ARL 143     managing healthy wicket hauls. Rob and Corbs managed to star last year
 (No 2nd day result received)           with the ball and will be looking to continue some good work.

St. Ives 206 (Tim Paterson 66, Cameron Fraser 40) defeated ARL 85 (Jason Corbett 4/39, Robert Relton3/16,
David Drake 2/1) & 9/118 (Jason Corbett 3/7, Anthony Booth 2/15) on first innings

          MVP: 2 Points Each = Jason Corbett & Tim Paterson, 1 Point Each = Rob Relton & Cam Fraser

Not content with a big first round win, Saints inflicted revenge upon the team that knocked them out of last year‟s
WPH managed to amass 241, with Paap taking 3/59 and Jason Corbett obtaining 2/26. This was always going to
be a tough score to beat on our very own Hassell Park.
However, the B2 side was completely oblivious to this, passing the total 7 wickets down. This was a thanks largely
to the solid contributions throughout the order. Including a fantastic 72 to Paap. Anthony Hitchens scored 59 and
44 runs went the way of David Drake, both of these players also starred in the Round 3 massacre of Kissing Point,
but more about that in the next newsletter.
Anthony Booth stayed there til the end scoring 33, which helped provide a very promising win against a strong
WPH side. The victories in the first two rounds provide a very solid base, for the team to start from. A premiership
is certainly in the taking, with some young talent coming through it bodes well for the future.

St. Ives 7/250 (L Paap 72, A Hitchens 59, D Drake 44, A Booth 33no) defeated WPHC Red 241 (L Paap

               MVP: 3 Points = Leon Paap, 2 Points = Anthony Hitchens & 1 Point = Anthony Booth

                                        Having won the first toss of the year we decided to have a bat. „Nipper‟
                                        Nath anchored the innings with a well-made 113. Greg Condon made a
   C1 Grade Ladder                      dashing 48 with the rest of the team chipping in to take the total to 278 at
      Normanhurst             12        the end of the first day. Ric Lovegrove blasted his way to 15 including a 6.
         Hornsby              7         The second day started badly with Pieter Nell late and Greg Condon having
        Kenthurst             7         an argument with a truck leaving us 2 short in the field. Josh Ling‟s father,
                                        Hillar substituted until we had our full quota.
        Mt Colah              7
                                        „Nipper‟ Nath with his off-spin led the way in the bowling with 5 wickets
        St. Ives              7         and was well supported by Josh Ling with 3. Myself, Rob Cleland and
    WPH-Cherrybrook           7         Simon Jesperson toiled hard with moderate success. We managed to bowl
          Gilroy              6         out Nth Wahroonga out for 140.
    North Wahroonga           2         At stumps we had Nth Wahroonga 9-139 just missing the outright. The
                                        bowling honours we shared with Josh Ling only able to bowl two overs and
  Coming Up: St. Ives V Gilroy at
  “Hassell Park”                        taking 1 for 2. Alan Peacock, Greg Condon and Rob Cleland each took 2
  Last week: Gilroy 8/324 def. Nth      wickets. Catching was good with 12 out of 15 taken including a huge skier
  Wahroonga 8/279                       by Tim Buggy who has the safest hands I have played with.

St. Ives 278 (Nevin Nath 113, Greg Condon 48) defeated North Wahroonga 140 (Nevin Nath 5/32,
Josh Ling 3/22) & 9/139 (Greg Condon 2/10, Robert Cleland 2/27, Alan Peacock 2/13) on first innings

                     MVP: 3 Points = Nevin Nath 2 Points = Greg Condon & 1 Point = Josh Ling

Unfortunately I was not there day one and Martin Grosvenor and Carlin Hurdis from D2s brought our quota to 9.
With Nath, Condon and Hawtree required by higher grades our ranks were somewhat depleted.
WPHC batted first and declared at 7-292. Alan Peacock with 3 and Ryan Carroll with 2 were the best of the
bowlers. Good catching by Ryan Carroll and Dave Cooper backed up the bowlers, which may have been better
with a couple more fielders. Rob Cleland managed to rack up a century with the ball.
With good accurate bowling and our depleted batting the 292 was always out of reach. However we did extremely
well in occupying the crease until 4.50pm with a total of 142. Our top three of Martin Grosvenor 34, Theo Crane
and Carlin Hurdis 29 wore down the
bowling for the best part of the day. An uncharacteristic 20 in 90 minutes from myself assisted along with the rest
of the team.
Whilst we lost on first innings it was a pleasing result with the personnel we were able to muster for the game.
We have a blend of youth and several players returning to cricket who have not played for years. We may
struggle in the early rounds as some of the players are still finding their feet but the side should hopefully mature
throughout the season. We need to stay within striking distance of the playoffs and should be reaching form at the
right end of the season.

WPHC 7/297 Dec (Alan Peacock 3/67, Ryan Carroll 2/39) defeated St. Ives 142 (Marty Grosvenor 34,
Carlin Hurdis 29, Rod Grosvenor 20) on first innings

                        MVP: 2 Points Each = Marty Grosvenor, Carlin Hurdis & Ryan Carroll

                                           Having won the toss, Saints put the opposition in to bat on a good day weather wise
                                           but with a poor outfield. Most of us were underdone for the opener of the season
    C3 Grade Ladder                        however this did not show as we had them all out shortly before the tea break for
           St. Ives             12         85. A very strong performance by all in the field, with Curtis Willmott in his debut
                                           game for the Saints having an impressive start behind the stumps. Pick of the
        Castle Hill RSL         8          bowlers were Richard Shun Wah with 5/16 and Carlin Hurdis with 2/8.
           Beecroft             7          When Saints came to bat, we soon had 6 on the board at the FOW and the skipper
         Kissing Point          7          came in. Before too long we were reeling at 6/32. The old guard Craig Fretwell (37)
                                           and young gun Hugh Walker (30) chimed in with a 77 run partnership to steer us
         Normanhurst            7          home to have a 34 run lead going into the second days play.
          Wahroonga             7          Trying to build on our good performance the previous week, we again had them on
                                           the ropes at 6/49 until Kissing Points skipper made a captains knock of 95 to build a
     WPH-Cherrybrook            3          respectable total of 160. Paul Christie tried to stop the runs with 2/40 and Shun
           Berowra              2          Wah‟s figures blew out to 5/46. We let them off the hook with some indifferent
  Coming up: St. Ives versus               fielding but it didn‟t help being short one player in the field for the day due to a late
  Normanhurst at “Galston West”            withdrawal.
  Last week: Normanhurst Versus            Set a total of 127 to win off a minimum of 31 overs, we got off to a great start with
  Kissing Point (No Results Received)      Willmott (23) and Hurdis (15) in a 45 run opening stand to give us a chance to have
                                           a thrilling finale. Another 50 run partnership between Shun Wah (20) and
experienced hand, Murray Ellen (38) almost saw us home however we faded in the end and were 6 runs short of an outright win.

St. Ives 119 (Craig Fretwell 39, Hugh Walker 30) & 7/121 (Murray Ellen 38, Curtis Willmott 23) defeated Kissing Point 85
(Richard Shun Wah 5/37, Carlin Hurdis 2/8) & 160 (Richard Shun Wah 5/46, Paul Christie 2/40)

               MVP: 3 Points = Richard Shun Wah, 2 Points = Craig Fretwell & 1 Point = Hugh Walker

Back again at the same pitch, this time against WPH. Coming off a good win in the first round, we were keen to do the same
and luck showed its way again with Saints winning the toss and electing to bowl.
With some dubious decisions not going our way in the first hour, WPH piled on the runs due to some wayward bowling. Fielding
was not as good as it had been and the boundaries were plentiful. Bowling changes were frequent and we had them 4/212
before they declared. We were all left wondering why, as this is a 300 + ground, a decision that he surely would have regretted
in the end. One of the highlights of the first two sessions was a spectacular catch at mid off by Ken “Tank” Honeysett, who ran
backwards with arms stretched to take a great one handed catch, one that would have made John Dyson proud! It was like
slow motion as everyone stopped on the field to watch Tank go for the ball, and when it stuck everybody celebrated, but at the
same time couldn‟t believe what had happened. An absolutely fantastic catch, you had to be there! Well-done Kenny! That
dismissal brought the end of the skipper, just as well as he was looking dangerous.
Day two saw Saints resume at 1/53 but in fact was 2/53 as we were short a batsman. In the end in did not affect the result due
to a sensational 143 run partnership between Murray Ellen (134) and Hugh Walker (44), who both saw us past the 1st innings
total. The constant flow of runs from Murray‟s bat to the boundaries (including one towering six), was the highlight of the
seconds days play, with Hugh also making some fine strokes. Otherwise it was a great effort by both players with some
formidable shots to remember the innings by. Curtis Willmott again chipped in with 36 and Cam Wills showed potential with his
20 runs. A terrific performance from the top order that gives Saints its second win from as many starts.

St. Ives 5/282 Dec (Murray Ellen 134, Hugh Walker 44, Curtis Willmott 36, Cameron Wills 20) defeated WPH-C 4/212 Dec
(Richard Shun Wah 2/41) & 4/82 (Hugh Walker 1/8) on first Innings

                  MVP: 3 Points = Murray Ellen, 2 Points = Hugh Walker & 1 Point = Curtis Willmott

   D1 Grade Ladder
         Gilroy             16
      Wahroonga             16
    WPH-Cherrybrook         12
        Hornsby             11
      Asquith RL            7
       Thornleigh           7
        Berowra             6
       Kenthurst            2
        St. Ives            2
    Galston Glenorie        0
 Coming up: St. Ives versus Asquith
 Rugby League at “James Park”
 Last week: Asquith RL 9/172 & 7/92
 def Thornleigh 148 & 251

Thornleigh 6/357 Dec (Nick Hall 2/44, Cameron Wills 1/38, Ben Doyle 1/33) defeated St Ives 103
(Cameron Wills 41, Jonathon Stott 30) & 3/114 (Cameron Wills 60, Peter Perry 34*)

        MVP: 3 Points = Cameron Wills, 1 Point Each = Jonathon Stott, Nick Hall & Ben Doyle

WPHC 191 (Matt Dewstow 5/38 Abhik Sengupta 4/38) & 46 (Oliver Skelding 4/20, Ravinish Kumar 3/5
& Robert Dewstow 2/4) defeated St Ives 145 (Oliver Skelding 36 & Nick Vesic 34) & 7/64

               MVP: 3 Points = Oliver Skelding, 2 Points = Ravinish Kumar & 1 Point = Nick Vesic

                                       It was always going to be hard with a “make-up” team of 7 casuals
   D2 Grade Ladder                     against ARL, who in 98/99 and 99/00 were in C Grade, dropped to
      Asquith RL            16         D Grade in 2000/01 where they were semi-finalists. However,
    WPH-Cherrybrook         16         there were many encouraging individual performances of note from
                                       our full-timers.
        Hornsby             12
                                       Jeremy Chenu, despite only scoring 8 runs, opened the batting and
      Wahroonga             11
                                       looked solid in his 15 overs at the crease against bowling better
        Beecroft            7          suited to C Reserves. He also chipped in with 1/4, after having a
       Kenthurst            1          sitter dropped off his first delivery in senior cricket.
     Normanhurst            1          Matt Whalan bowled unluckily with venom and pace. So too did
       St. Ives             1          Matty Dewstow, who was the tightest of all the bowlers.
 Coming Up St Ives V Normanhurst at    There was enough promise in „Saint‟s‟ performance to encourage
 “Galston East”                        me to state that augers well for a competitive season.
 Last week Normo. 40 & 88 L/O ARL

ARL 5/102 (Matt Dewstow 3/20, Jeremy Chenu 1/4, Matt Whalan 1/24) defeated St. Ives 99 (Brandon Liu 33,
Dave Cooper 14, Marty Grosvenor 14)

        MVP: 2 Points Each = Brandon Liu & Matt Dewstow, 1 Point Each = Jeremy Chenu & Matt Whalan

Our game against WPH was disappointing in that we made too few runs and let them get away from us
through dropped catches. Our fight back failed in saving the outright although this was the Captain‟s
fault in throwing his wicket away after he was set.
Matt Gestier‟s first innings knock of 35 was a highlight and he bowled with good rhythm and pace and was unlucky
not to bag 3 or 4. Matt Whalen and Jeremy Chenu batted well in both innings at the top of the order and both will
have an important roll in our success this season. Ben Doyle (my boy) did a good job opening the batting in the
first innings (apart from running out Jeremy) and took 3 wickets (out of 4). Gordon Crane took our first and only
catch (which he said was a dolly) but I‟m glad he caught it, because we dropped everything else.

WPHC 4/289Dec (Ben Doyle 3/82, Jeremy Chenu 1/35) defeated St. Ives 146 (Matt Gestier 35, Matt
Whalan 27) & 151 (Nick Shannon 39, Simon Jesperson 22, Jeremy Chenu 16) outright

        MVP: 3 Points = Matt Gestier, 1 Point Each = Jeremy Chenu, Ben Doyle & Matt Whalan

                     Visit the Saints website -

Some recent jokes from Australia’s tour of England -

Q. What's the difference between Nasser Hussain and Saddam Hussein?
A. Saddam Hussein has more victories.

Q. What would Justin Langer be if he were an English batsmen?
A. In form.

Q. How dominant is Australia's No. 1 fast bowler?
A. Well, most people in England think their opening batsman's real name is Atherton B McGrath.

Q. What's the outstanding feature of England's pace attack?
A. Andy Caddick.

Q. What is England's best chance of a win in the second test at Lord's?
A. Telling the Aussies the match is at Headingly.

Q. Heard about the new Ashes trophy?
A. Yes, if England lose another series they're going to keep the bails and burn the players instead.

Q. How bad is the English batting?
A. Well, the selectors are thinking of moving Extras up the batting order.

Q. Why is it unfair to call England the second best team over there?
A. Because the Australian women's cricket team are in Britain as well.

Q. Why are the England players demanding increased match payments?
A. Someone has let on that Ashes Tests sometimes go to a fourth day.

And a couple of others -

Is Cricket Played in Heaven?
A very keen cricketer asked a divine, allegedly with good connections on high, whether there was any
cricket in heaven.
The priest replied: "I can‟t tell you now, but if you come back on Sunday, I might have an answer. "
On Sunday the priest told the cricketer: "I've had good news and bad news. The good news is: Yes,
there is cricket in heaven. And now for the bad news: You are in to bat on Friday!"

Jokes about the English always seem to be funny -
A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been raped.
The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She told him that it was a man
of average height dressed in white and that he was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms,
additionally he had on a helmet and gloves.
"That sounds as if the man was a cricketer" observed the policeman.
"Oh yes he was" replied the woman, "and what's more he was an Englishman".
"I suppose you guessed that because of his accent " said the Sergeant.
"No" the woman said, "it was because he didn't stay in very long."

Some old jokes from England‟s tour of Australia in 1997 (and two others) -

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Alan Mullally put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An all-rounder.

Q. What is the English version of a hat trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't English fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his names?
A. A bowler.

Q. What was the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English touring party?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. What advantage do Nasser Hussain, Mark Ramprakash, Dean Headley, Alex Tudor, Alan Mullally,
the Hollioakes, Mark Alleyne and Graeme Hick have over the rest of their teammates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. Why is Darren Gough the unluckiest bowler on tour?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the English touring party?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

Q. How do you recognise an Australian cricketer at Lord's?
A. He's the one holding the Ashes.

Sound Familiar?
My wife is really silly, last week she said I treat cricket as a religion.
I told her not be so silly. But if she wanted to discuss it could she please wait until the Reverend
Benaud and Father Bill Lawry had finished speaking.


   President:        Nick Shannon                (H) 91444089
   Secretary:        Martin Grosvenor            (H) 94175026
                      Administration, Registrations, Newsletter Production, Internet
   Treasurer:        Rodney Grosvenor            (H) 94175026

   Committee:        Ian Black                     (H)   94730053    Equipment Manager
                     Robert Dewstow                (H)   91447262    Junior Development Manager
                     Mark Garrod                   (H)   94493936    Assistant Functions Manager
                     Alex Lees                     (H)   94494424    Functions Manager
                     Chris Stott                   (H)   94025094    Marketing & Sponsorship
                     Ben Gussey                    (H)   94892784    Newsletter Editor

   Misc:             Hassell Park Clubhouse        (H) 91446930  Match-days from 11.00am
                     Wet Weather                   (H) 94025613  Association

Every week, numbers permitting, members can enjoy barbeque steak and sausage sandwiches at
reasonable prices. The barbeque commences as soon as practical after 6.00 PM or earlier on week two
for the quick finishers.

Join with our intrepid Captains as they provide their wrap of the day‟s highlights, low lights, trivia and
humour. Listen to how easily fiction can be disguised as fact and fantasies do come true! A detailed
account of the day‟s play as seen through “rose coloured glasses”.

SPIN ‘N’ WIN - 7.30 PM
$2 Per Number - one in 30 prize chance! Lucky Number wins -
 A case of Victoria Bitter cans OR
 “Cash in Kind” of $30
 Plus special prize draws for function nights.

Commences in earnest from Sunday August 5th at Hassell Park (new net complex) between 1.00pm
and 3.00pm and will continue each week until Sunday 28th October. We will then move to Wednesday
evenings starting 31st October between 5.00pm and 7.00pm until seasons end.

 If you have any inquiries, information, complaints or articles regarding the newsletter please e-mail -


To top