CSI Comedy Sketch Investigation

							                            DEDICATION
   To June, Susan, Susie (Max), Barry, Hampton, Jerry, Irene, Stan,
    Les, David, Betty, Buddy, Elliott, Maureen, Paul, and the other
  Rockville Jesters with whom I first discovered the challenge and the
     joy of creating new work instead of revamping used material.


                         ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CSI: Comedy Sketch Investigationz was first performed by the Lee Comedy
Club at Col. E. Brooke Lee Middle School in Silver Spring, MD, (Lucille
Ellis, then Jerome Lynch, Principals) on Friday, April 25, and Saturday,
April 26, 2003. The sketches included here were scripted from student
suggestions and then directed by Harry M. Bagdasian, assisted by Ben
Fisler, Jessica Skolnick and Katherine Broadway from the University of
Maryland thanks to the support of the Art Gliner Center for Humor
Studies, University of Maryland, College Park, Larry Mintz, Director.

This script would not have been possible without the help of the 6th, 7th
and 8th graders who participated in its development and production.
Performers: Laura Becker, Luke Campbell, Annie Drury, Alex DuFour,
Laura Eisenhuth, Lucille Ellis, Abby Farrar, Andrew Farrar, Matthew
Farrar, Daniel Gankill, Marissa George, Evan Greenberg, Julia
Hubuchek, Kyle King, Adam Landa, Jason Lee, Steven Lee, Joe
Livingston, Carl O’Donnell, Matt O’Donnell, Katie Orr, Ryan Price,
Margery Renninger, Louie Rosen, Stephanie Salguero, Isaac Sohn, Rachel
Soloman, Paul (Ned) Sotak, Michael Twigg, Marcus Watts and Maryanne
Weaver. Technical Crew: Courtney Bailey, Niles Finklea, Reginald
Galloway, Michael Hill, Alex Klinger, Jason Lee, Morgan Lee and Talia
Plotkin. Set Decoration Design: (Thanks to art teacher, Judy Tripp)
Amanda Densmore, Laura Eisenhuth, Lili Pham, and David Soncrant.
Additional Support: Comedy Club alum came, Jennifer Bagdasian, Kate
Bagdasian and Matt Weaver. Students who participated in the
developmental process, but for some reason or another were unable to
participate in the production: Jihan Asher, Regis Ford-Bey and Chris
Luty.


                               CASTING
Scene 1 — Opening
Annie and the rest of the company
Scene 2 — CSI: Comedy Sketch Investigationz
Announcer, Daniel, CSI Man, CSI Woman, Thelma/Hermione,
Policeman/Perry Hotter, Amorphous, Mr. Burnout, Dizzy Osbourne, Ditsy



                                  –i–
Osbourne, Belly Osbourne, Hack Osbourne, two Sign Holders, the Cat
Dude
Scene 3 — Extended Family Feud
Host, three super models (Cheryl, Joe, Luci) and three students (Bill,
Linda, Emily)
Scene 4 — “Imagine That … ” (or “Yeah, like that’s gonna happen!”)
Announcer, Newsy
Scene 5 — Freshman Orientation — Part 1
Adolescent Hunter, Dr. Peacoat, three 9th graders (Victor, Kelly, Justin),
two 12th graders (Betti and Muffy), Coach Thomas, Mr. Russell, Captain
Finney
Scene 6 — Another “Imagine That … ”
Announcer, Newsy
Scene 7 — Freshman Orientation — Part 2
Adolescent Hunter, Dr. Peacoat, three 9th graders (Victor, Kelly, Justin)
two 12th graders (Betti and Muffy), Coach Thomas, Mr. Russell, Captain
Finney, Waitress
Scene 8 — Baitline News
Show Host Matt Stone, Reporter Daphne Destroyer, a Male Candidate, a
Female Candidate, her Opposing Candidate, two student SGA candidates
(Bryson J. Wittikowski and Hermione T. McGillacutty), Rebecca Brinsley
Strange and her assistants (Clyde and Monica), two INS Agents
Scene 9 — Still Another “Imagine That … ”
Announcer, Newsy
Scene 10 — The Lowest Common Denominator?
Regis Fliptop, six students (Dolly, Jackie, Agatha, Steve, Richard and
Linda)
Scene 11 — It’s the Static
Shopkeeper, Ad Guy, three Comics, Rebecca Brinsley Strange, two INS
Agents
Scene 12 — The Club Scene
Mr. Benson, Students 1 thru 7, Ms. Morgan, Mr. Stanley, two Security
Guards, Voice of the Public Address System, Off-stage Teacher shouting
Scene 13 — One More “Imagine That … ”
Announcer, Newsy, Milton Contee
Scene 14 — Everyone Else’s Kid Is Perfect
Newscaster Ernestine Chapman Douglas Menendez Schwartz (yes, that’s
her name) Rachel Murphy, Mrs. Murphy, Mr. Adams, his son Ralphie, Mr.
James, his son Nicky, Mrs. Becker, Becky Becker, Daphne Becker, Mrs.
Shakespeare, Mrs. Karin, Mr. Aguilera, Mrs. Douglas (Ernestine’s Mom)


                                  – ii –
                         PRODUCTION NOTES

The Set: Yes, you can do these sketches with a bunch of stools and a
curtained playing area. That’s basically what we did in 1995 for our first
Comedy Club show. Each year we’ve added a few more set pieces and
scenery which enabled the art students to get involved and for Comedy Club
members to learn some stagecraft. It also made the production more
challenging for the students to run. Our attitude has always been that the
entire endeavor should challenge the students so that they learn, grow and
achieve.

To provide a variety of settings or “looks,” we created and recycled a total
of twenty-four feet by seven-and-a-half feet stage flats. Twelve of them
were used to make three four-sided units (quads) which rode on 4’x4’
dollies with casters so the crew simply turned them to create one “look”
then another. Additionally we created four A-frames from the remaining
eight flats. Each A-frame rode atop a 2’x4’ dolly with casters. These units
can be painted to either extend the “look” created by the four sided units
or painted to mix and match to define other settings. To keep things from
getting too complicated, we painted one side of each of the A-frames and
one side of each of the quads with a “neutral look.” When turned to their
“neutral look” sides, these stage pieces nicely framed the playing area for
several different sketches. One side of each of the quads and two of the A-
frame sides were painted like a school hallway. Well, you get the idea.

For our games shows, we created two three feet high by six feet wide
panels, each on a frame with casters — behind which the contestants
stood. The panels were placed to the right and left of a simple lectern for
the game show host. Each side of the panels was painted differently so we
had our “Feud” as well as our “Lowest Common Denominator” game show
environments. The host’s lectern was painted so it visually fit both game
show “looks.”

Additionally, we used six plywood cubes (20x20x20 inches and painted
black) made for the school’s drama class by our resourceful shop teacher,
Mr. Prather. These were readily used as chairs, or placed together to
create benches, even stacked to create a counter.

Prop Suggestions: Our news desk is on wheels which makes it easy to
bring it on and off quickly. It also allows us to use this prop in other
sketches. To facilitate the quick changes for the “CSI” sketch, we simply
placed the news desk center stage and piled it with props and costume
pieces. This not only helped the students make their quick changes, it lent
an air of spontaneity to the sketch.


                                   – iii –
Lighting: Our lighting equipment was very limited so we simply had two
areas — Stage Left and Stage Right. We rented four black lights, placed
them Downstage behind some simple ground rows and this gave us the
“special effect” we needed when the Adolescent Hunter took us into the
future during the “Freshman Orientation” sketch. Throughout the show
we kept things moving at a crisp pace by using two followspots.

Costuming When students are playing students, T-shirts and jeans or
shorts will do. When appearing as adults, dresses, suit coats and ties will
do. To make things easy for the girls, have them wear biker’s pants and
sports bras over which they can wear a variety of costume pieces. Dressing
in layers facilitates quick changes. Of course, providing each cast member
with a costume check list is vital. About three weeks before the show was
to be performed we gave each student a sheet of paper on which they listed
their parts. Next to each part, they created a list of costume pieces. Each
item was then marked “have” (meaning they could provide the piece) or
“need” (meaning the costume coordinator or someone in the cast had to
provide it). Our volunteer costume coordinator, Mary Sotak, reviewed each
student’s costume “plot” with them. Then she and a couple other parents
helped find or provided needed costume pieces.

About Microphones: As often as possible, we used hand held
microphones for the talk or game shows. Wireless body mics are certainly
helpful if you have them to support players in leading roles who might
not be real good at projecting their voices. We had the luxury of having
two of them. With a grant from our local Community Coalition for
Children, Youth and Families via our Mid County Neighborhood Initiative
Program, we were able to purchase three Crown PCC-160 floor
microphones. Strategically placed along the front of the stage, these
microphones greatly enhanced the students’ voice projection abilities. I
highly recommend using these microphones if you can.

That’s about all I can think of for now. If you have any questions, e-mail
me at hbagdasian@aol.com. Best wishes for a fun time and a successful
production!




                                  – iv –
                           TABLE OF CONTENTS

Scene 1 — Opening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Scene 2 — CSI: Comedy Sketch Investigationz                    . . . . . . . . . . . .2

Scene 3 — Extended Family Feud . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Scene 4 — “Imagine That … ”
    (or “Yeah, like that’s gonna happen!”)                  . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

Scene 5 — Freshman Orientation — Part 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

Scene 6 — Another “Imagine That … ” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

Scene 7 — Freshman Orientation — Part 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

Scene 8 — Baitline News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

Scene 9 — Still Another “Imagine That … ” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

Scene 10 — The Lowest Common Denominator? . . . . . . . . . . 25

Scene 11 — It’s the Static . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

Scene 12 — The Club Scene . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

Scene 13 — One More “Imagine That … ” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

Scene 14 — Everyone Else’s Kid Is Perfect . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35




                                        –v–