Workshop for Therapists
Laughter Is The Best Therapy
What initially attracted me to Gestalt was its openness to creativity and experimentation. The experiential attitude in the Gestalt group requires spontaneity, intuition, and creativity. Humor is inventiveness. Through the humorous lens, one might perceive things in a novel and non-conventional way. Creativity and humor might even help the group members and facilitator detach from dilemmas in ways that sustain awareness. Foreground often becomes clearer and brighter when the players begin to witness their drama from an aesthetic distance. I had begun to co-lead Gestalt groups in 1987. The occurrence of people smiling and laughing, rather than suffering and weeping while in the throes of fear, pain, sadness, anxiety, and frustration was brought to my attention by my co-facilitator. We decided to study this phenomenon by creating a “Gestalt Laughter and Humor Workshop”. It was designed to foster joy, fun, and laughter while taking a closer look at the subject of awareness and the paradoxical theory of change. We had noticed that by using the notion of humor and play, work emerged faster and went deeper than usual. This was probably due to the warm, supportive delight experienced as a new “between” in the client-therapist relationship. A woman in one of my groups unraveled her family story. I’ll call her Rita. Two weeks before Rita’s wedding, her mother committed suicide. Rita soon became pregnant, and her father died of a heart attack a few months before she gave birth. Later, a suicide bomber in Jerusalem murdered her brother just before her second child was born. Now that her own daughter was to be married the following month, her son voiced his desire to end his life. I empathized with this tragedy, “So much pain, sadness, fear, and rage. It seems almost impossible to comprehend.” She began to cry and stated, “I want to be happy. I want to be joyful at my daughter’s wedding, but as I approach any cheerful event, my fear is that some catastrophe will take place. It’s happened many times in the past. ” I sat in stunned silence. Then I saw a picture in my mind’s eye. I said, “Life for you is like being a starving mouse who sees a huge piece of cheese tied to a high voltage wire. Every time the hungry mouse takes a bite, he is tortured by being electrically shocked.” I was surprised at her reaction. She began to laugh in the midst of her tears. We smiled and felt connected. “You understand me,” she said. I needed to know more about this trend and how it enhances inclusion and confirmation in the Gestalt dialogue. I continued the journey alone. There were few mentors in this field. Aside from sparse, sporadic readings on the subject of humor, laughter, and healing, not many therapists could offer much widening wisdom. I soon sought out and learned from “laughter” and “humor” teachers throughout the globe, wherever I could locate them. Some were therapists. Most were not.
Through my work and study, I have discovered that humor is not to be used for comedy’s sake in the Gestalt group setting. If it were, authentic and meaningful contact, the most important element in the therapeutic relationship, would be lost. The participants must be met where they are, and often the truthful moments of being genuinely connected proffer release through laughter. I watched as Benny, an executive in his mid forties, walked into the group room. His hunched shoulders and avoidance of any eye contact became foreground for me. I stood up, bent my shoulders in his fashion, looked at the floor, and ambled over to him. “Let’s go for a stroll around the room, Benny,” I prompted. He joined me. I became his mirror for some time. I wasn’t trying to imitate him, but rather attempted to feel what it was like living in his body. We continued pacing in that particular manner as some insightful energy and laughter emanated from the group. Benny also smiled. At last I said, “I feel safe and protected walking like this.” He agreed, “Yes, it certainly is secure.” We continued to dialogue for some time after this experiment. My “becoming” him and mirroring his way of being in the world gave Benny a safe milieu for trying out new behaviors. By using creativity and humor, the process became more lively and energetic. I began to understand that learning about new choices and making changes could definitely be done with a light heart. This experiment helped Benny to grow up. He did this by facing a particular reality as if it were a game. I believe that people are “healed” the moment they begin to laugh at themselves. We, as Gestalt group leaders, must never become solemn. If we do, we might not be able to do “serious” Gestalt therapy because we would be unable to enjoy the process. We can be serious without being solemn. Having fun means that we may find room for amusement and enjoyment in whatever we happen to be doing. Everyone has the potential to develop a sense of mirth. Humor promotes wellness. Wellness promotes glee. I suggest taking our profession seriously and ourselves lightly. I have also found that humorous Gestalt awareness work “plays” with boundaries, reconciles opposites, and re-solves paradoxes. Everything can be anything else. Life is “both/and” and not “either/or.” Everything is in a state of flux and process. During the spring of 1997, I presented a “Humor And The Paradox” workshop in San Francisco, for the Association of Gestalt Therapists Annual Convention. Several university students who had attended my seminar asked me to sign a form that would allow them to receive additional credit towards continuing education. I later discovered that they were denied acknowledgement since my practicum was experiential and not academic. I’m not surprised. Topics of humor and laughter are not discussed academically, let alone debated as an option in the therapeutic dialogue. As a Gestalt group trainer, I have also become sensitive to the application of funniness as a tool to deflect contact and feelings. Sharp focus is vital in being mindful of whether laughter is spontaneous or rather employed as a device for hiding embarrassment, anxiety, avoiding confrontation, or evading thorny decisions. I have, and still do, draw on jokes with the hope of being accepted, loved, and pleasant, rather than taking the risk of being authentically present. I am still (sometimes joyfully) dancing with my narcissism.
We can opt to learn to make the essential differentiation between when humor is beneficial and when it is detrimental. We must understand what we are about when using absurdity. I have been criticized and confronted for humiliating a member of the group rather than helping. I am now careful to ask permission to use a bit of jesting, especially from participants who come from family backgrounds where joking was used as a weapon of devastation, scorn, and criticism. Much failure has taught me to try these interventions only when I am sure they will be received in the spirit in which they are intended. I presently lead groups at my institute called, “Gestalt Awareness Through Laughter and Humor.” Almost every meeting is a deep learning experience for me. The purpose of this course is to offer the partakers experiments that cultivate joy, fun, and play in order to test and perhaps stretch the contact boundaries while supporting what emerges as foreground.