Boyfriend Not Trying Hard Enough by sidetaker

VIEWS: 20 PAGES: 1 stories deal with anonymous people looking for relationship advice (primarily dating and marriage), telling both sides to each story and letting the world decide who's at fault.

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									Boyfriend Not Trying Hard Enough...
I have been with him for almost three months. In that very short amount of time, we
have fallen very hard for him, and most of the time we are really incredibly great
together. I really care about him. Which is why I'm even bothering to write this on
here..instead of saying goodbye to him like most people will probably tell me to.
Because..I don't want to.
 He lost his job three weeks ago - due mostly to being tardy or just not showing up at
all too often. He still don't have a job. He tries to tell me he's trying really hard, but he
really just doesn't. I have gone above and beyond for him - I've paid for his food,
snacks, movies, anything we have done in the last three weeks I have paid for. I spoil
him all the time with gifts and backrubs ...among other things :">
 I do all this because I like to show in actions how much I care. He doesn't really do
the same...he has spent most of the last three weeks on my computer, browsing
websites, and eating my food. He has cleaned up a bit here and there..but the house
is always a mess and I rarely ever have time to clean it so it would be really helpful if
he were to at least make the house (since it's mostly his messes anyway) look nicer
instead of playing on and watching YouTube videos.
 He has only actually gone out 3 or 4 times to apply to jobs..but mostly he stays at
home, send one or two resumes to a few e-mails here or there..and calls it good. It's
frustrating that he is not trying harder, especially when I can't afford to pay his third of
the rent, and the other bills. It's also even more frustrating because at this point - even
McDonald's would be an improvement..over having no job at all. I gave him a
deadline two weeks ago..and it's coming up in two days. Still no job. If he has been
really trying the whole time.. I'd definitely let him stay a little longer..but he hasn't. I
even have gone through and sent a bunch of his resumes out for him, and applied at
some places for him in my spare time while I am at work..and sent him links to
applications for jobs that are close by and available. Mostly, he just tells me there's no
point because he won't get hired anyway..or he refuses to fill out the application
because he doesn't want to work in food. Today, we got into a huge online argument,
because I am at a loss as to what else I can do or say to make him understand he
can't be choosy right now - he has to take whatever he can get. I tried explanining he
is being unrealistic..and he told me that it's not unrealistic to not want a mediocre job.
 I can't seem to make him is better than the street.
 I hate this so much because I don't want his lack of a job and motivation to be what
destroys us.. but I have done everything I can think of.. and everyone is telling me I
have no obligations to him because we haven't even known each other for that long.
Please help me to make him understand he needs to just fill out any and all
applications he can find, and deal with getting a "better" job later..when he already
has a job to at least pay his rent. Thanks to anyone and everyone who gives any
advice/suggestions on this..and sorry for such a long explanation (This is just the
short verison, too!)
The second side of this relationship advice story can be found here:
Boyfriend Not Trying Hard Enough...

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