A Proposal for Dear Women Inspirational Letters from Women

A Proposal for Dear Women: Inspirational Letters from Women to Women On Life, Love and Learning By Holly R. Corcoran “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” (Marianne Williamson “A Return to Love,” 1972, chapter 7) Table of Contents Introduction and Overview Back Matter Markets for the Book Spin-offs Complimentary & Competitive Books About the Author Promotion Plan Budget The Outline: List of Chapters Sample Chapters Introduction & overview Women represented fifty-one percent of the United States’ 298 million population in 2005. According to Businessweek February 14, 2005 special report, “Working women ages of 24-54 -- of whom the U.S. has some 55 million -- have emerged as a potent force in the marketplace, changing the way companies design, position, and sell their product … (women) make more than 80% of buying decisions in all homes.” How long has it been since these women received a heart-felt letter from a friend? With the advent of technology they’re reduced to cryptic email or instant messenger. Or they pick up their cell phone, push a button and chat. But do they ever really have time for good old-fashioned letter writing which enables them to dialogue meaningfully on a deeper level? It has been the author’s experience that our fast paced world limits our ability to connect with those around us like we can through letter writing. Dear Women is a collection of inspirational heartwarming letters from women to women promoting messages of hope, love and encouragement. So often in our fast paced world, women are depleted by rushing from one obligation to another whether it is work, home, kids, community or social events. There is more time for the “other,” but less for the self. Yet, with Dear Women there is time to read an encouraging letter from everyday women as well as those of notoriety. Using forty years of life experiences as a professional business woman, mother, avid letter writer and friend, the author will address topics closest to the women’s heart, Page# 1 2 3 3-4 4-5 5-6 6-8 9 9-11 12-25 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran written in conversational letters from the author as well as numerous other women from all walks of life. Like Chicken Soup for the Soul ® books, it will touch the hearts of women with the ability to generate numerous other titles of letters to other populations such as Dear Daughter, Sister, Mother, Friend, Men, Children, Grandparents, Father, Son, Husband, Wife, in addition to more specific demographics such as Dear Divorced Women, Horsewomen, Career Women, Homemakers and many more. Dear Women will be the first book to write letters directly to women. It will include: • • • • • Topics such as love, hope/faith, dreams, change, balance, abundance, adversity, synchronicity, careers, choices, friends, creativity, forgiveness, independence and intuition Letters written from women in a wide variety of careers and occupations In the voice of their fellow women, the reader will hear words of wisdom and encouragement to overcome life’s obstacles, pursue life’s rewards and cherish the moment Such letters will be optimistic and uplifting lacking any sense of judgment or overbearing advice Noteworthy suggestions on how women of distinction attained their goals and how the reader can pursue their dreams as well The manuscript will be 75,600 words in length with the average “letter” covering two to four pages, giving the multi-tasking busy woman time to catch some brief inspiration at times most convenient for her, although she may find them so heart-warming that she feels compelled to read letter after letter. Each section will be led by a motivational quotation or anecdote followed by a letter on the section topic by the author and then letters from contributors. The manuscript will be completed within nine months of acceptance by the publisher. Compiled from the website www.booksofletters.com, the author solicits and edits letters submitted from women of all walks of life. In addition, the author has mailed numerous hand-written invitations to women that would know her as a friend or colleague who may be interested in submitting a letter. Also, Holly has emailed the website links to scores of potential contributors as well as networking at a local writer’s conference to solicit submissions. Currently, there have been several outside contributions of letters. Back matter The end of Dear Women will include a list of inspirational books that influenced the author’s pursuit of positive thinking as well as planted the seed for this book. Such books will be the author’s favorite as well as each letter writer will be asked to provide a book title that they found most encouraging and inspirational in their lives. 2 Dear Women Markets for the book By Holly R. Corcoran There are 151 million women in the United States and they command 80% of the household purchasing decisions. This book speaks directly to women who are the most likely audience to purchase books for themselves, family and friends. Therefore, from the start, the book has a potential audience of half the US population. Because women are an emerging market, there are diet and exercise centers that cater specifically to women such as LA Weight Loss, Jenny Craig, and Curves for Women, among many others. These organizations would benefit from having this inspirational book available to their patrons or as corporate incentives. “Life coaching,” where a coach encourages executives, entrepreneurs and employees of progressive enterprises to reach their greatest potential has become a hot new service. Dear Women would be a wonderful life coaching tool as participants would receive additional support through this book. Coaching often centers on transitioning through life’s changes and finding balance in our daily lives, both central topics in Dear Women. Women’s advocacy groups and nonprofit women’s agencies are finding a rising need amongst our turbulent population. What women need greater support and encouragement than those who have hit bottom and are working to put their lives back in order? To them, the world has been a hostile place. What a wonderful alternative Dear Women would offer these needy souls. Everyday women face challenges on a daily basis and, because of their multi-tasking abilities, many women become depleted without the appropriate support systems in place. Dear Women will provide optimism and hope to fuel those sagging spirits. The author recently introduced the website www.booksofletters.com to solicit contributions for the book. The website has received a wonderful response from many areas of the country from women who have expressed delight in such a book coming to print. The catch phrase of most who have responded are that it is a “great idea,” and many of these women are writing their letters to be included in this book. The Chicken Soup for the Soul ® series currently includes 25+ books and has sold over 35 million copies. The markets for such inspirational books have exploded in the last ten years, creating amazing opportunities for books such as Dear Women not only in the United States but in many foreign countries as well. Spin off books • Dear Daughter. This book would make a wonderful transition from Dear Women. Mothers and daughters have a special bond as well as challenges communicating. Some mothers and daughters are close and communicate almost without the need for words whereas other mother/daughter relationships can be strained. A Dear Daughter letter would explore similar topics as Dear Women and explore the love and learning in a mother/daughter relationship. At the end of 3 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran • • • • Dear Women the author will solicit the readers for letters to daughters as well as continuing to request letters through the website and promotional seminars. Dear Sister. Similar to Dear Daughter, women with sisters have a unique bond with their siblings, some powerfully positive and some powerfully negative, but either way powerful. Most women to whom the author has spoken have indicated that their relationship with their sister is rarely lukewarm, especially while growing up. The letters from this group would capture the past and present through the growth of the sisters writing such letters. At the end of Dear Daughter the author will solicit the readers for letters to sisters as well as continuing to request letters through the website and seminars. Dear Men. A natural offshoot to Dear Women where letters would be written to men from men on topics similar to those in Dear Women. Requests for submissions would be made through the website as well as the preceding book and the author would compile and edit these letters for meaningful presentation. In addition, the author will work with distinguished men to prepare the first letter for each topic area. Dear Son, Parent, Grandchild, Grandparent, Husband, Wife, Brother. The possibilities are endless for the sequences to follow as a new trend is reestablished for letter writing in the 21st century. For those who love to write letters as well as those who love to receive them, these books will be timeless classics. Remember the Journey, a novel (book one of three). This is a completed manuscript about a single mother, Kate McKinley, with two young children exiting a rather harrowing divorce, piecing her life together, forging forward and hoping to raise two well-adjusted children. As a self-employed entrepreneur, she struggles to build a profitable business while maintaining balance in her life. Traversing the challenges of business and the death of her mother, she decides to realize a life-long dream involving horses – first as a horse owner and later as an equine veterinarian. Risking all, she ultimately decides to attend vet school, an overwhelming task, resulting in the sale of her business. A concurrent theme is that of her soul mate who lost his wife to a drunk-driving accident. A strong and vital character, Peter Donovan, a volunteer paramedic as well as an upscale home builder, is on a parallel path of personal discovery, seeking but missing spiritual, meaningful companionship. Although their paths cross twice during the novel, they formally meet in the final chapter. Through fiction this serves as an inspirational example of a woman able to overcome the obstacles in her life, pursue her dreams and reach her goals in grace and style. Competitive books: 1) Dear Mom: Women’s Letters of Love and Longing by Deborah Berger. This is a wonderful book written by women to their mothers exploring positive as well as negative aspects of their relationship with their mother. Following each letter is an interview of the letter writers lending additional insight into that woman’s journey in writing her Dear Mom letter. This in an interesting approach similar in the message to fellow women, but more of an internal view assumed by each 4 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran author, sometimes the letters are very specific involving events of which the reader has no knowledge. Dear Mom is different from Dear Women in that these are letters written solely to their mothers. Dear Women is instead a collection of letters from women as if they were written directly to the reader. Although the authors of Dear Women may have a specific woman in mind in composing their letter, it is still an open letter to all women, sharing the insights that they have learned in life, providing encouragement and inspiration to all women. Although there are common chords struck in reading Dear Mom, the approach is different and, the author believes, that the Dear Women letters will generate interest over a wider population of women, and touch more common ground known to more women. At the same time Dear Women specifically strives to encourage and inspire women, not just to share thoughts and feelings that the author of the letters feels towards their mothers. 2) Dear Mother: Words of Thanks and Thoughts of Love by Jayne Bowman. This book is a collection of excerpts from other written works or remarks by famous people like Mark Twain, Theodore Roosevelt, Washington Irving, Pearl Buck, Helen Keller, and others. Most passages share thoughts or poems about motherhood or the author’s own mother. This book uses an entirely different approach than Dear Women by simply providing a compilation of notorious individuals’ thoughts about their mother or motherhood in general. This is not in letter format and would not be a competitor book to Dear Women. The author believes the Chicken Soup for the Soul ® series are complementary instead of competitive books since they tap the same heart strings but through a different media. At the same time the market is far from saturated since the Dear Women book follows a different format and is specifically designed to inspire women. About the Author Holly R. Corcoran is a free-lance writer and self-employed certified public accountant with a bachelors of Science in Business Management, concentrations in Accounting and English, graduating from East Stroudsburg University Summa Cum Laude. Prior to opening her accounting practice in 1991, Ms. Corcoran felt that the greatest resource she needed to cultivate was her mental outlook. For six months before starting her accounting practice, in addition to business planning, she immersed herself in inspirational books. With her fifteen month old daughter in tow, Ms. Corcoran took the leap of faith (as will be described in one of the chapters of this book) and started her practice only to find out four months later of the impending birth of her son. Without the mental conditioning and 5 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran the “magic of believing,” Ms. Corcoran feels that her business would have failed as so many do within the first five years. By keeping the faith and always seeking a creative outlet, her business ultimately flourished presently serving over 500 individuals and businesses in the Northeast Region of Pennsylvania. Through contact with her clients and annual interviews of taxpayers, Ms. Corcoran finds a recurring lack of self-confidence in women that she works with. Often in providing business advice she shares her optimism with her clients. She has seen that those who have the best mental outlook stay in business, while those who lack optimism or creative thinking go out of business. Therefore, Ms. Corcoran concludes that the key to success, both business and personal, is based more upon how people think than their economics. While reading the tomes of successful thinking and while building her business, her greatest desire has been to “give back” to those who inspired her and, in essence, pass the torch. Noticing there are few books written for or by women on these topics and having a personal passion for letter writing, she feels that such letters will be a meaningful and insightful median to inspire fellow women as well as tap the talent of other letter writers. Dear Women was conceived in her mind in the early 1990’s and has been continually nurtured through life experiences and observations. The organizational skills Corcoran acquired in her practice are an invaluable asset in compiling and editing the material for submission with this manuscript. In addition to her accounting practice, Holly R. Corcoran is actively involved in the community as a 4H horse club leader, active member of the local chamber of commerce and Rotary club, speaker on various topics for SCORE (Senior Citizens of Retired Executives) and the Small Business Division of the Chamber of Commerce, as well as professional memberships in Business Networking International and the American and Pennsylvania Institutes of Certified Public Accountants. Corcoran is a member of the Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group and the Bucks County Center for Writers. Ms. Corcoran lives in Northeast Pennsylvania with her two teenage children, two Golden Retrievers, four Arabian horses, and numerous cats. Her passions are horseback endurance riding, reading, journaling and doing fun things with her children. Promotion Plan The author is committed to the successful promotion of this book as well as all spin-offs. Ms. Corcoran will employ the same energy and creativity she used in promoting her fledging business and to enter and sustain new markets in her accounting practice to promote this and following books. She is personally dedicated to inspiring fellow women and encouraging them to attain their greatest potential. At this time, the author is pursing endorsements by well known women. In addition to the website that was introduced in March 2006, for women of distinction, Holly is recording a CD of readings of an introduction to Dear Women and select letters. A 6 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran professional package will be mailed to celebrated women throughout the country to request the contribution of a letter for inclusion in the book or an endorsement. Out of the advance received for this book, the author will match the publisher’s consumer budget up to 25% up of the advance not to exceed $25,000 for Dear Women. Ms. Corcoran will purchase 1,200 copies of the book for sale or as promotional copies through the following venues: 1) Website www.booksofletters.com with a link to Amazon.com to sell the copies of the book and a toll-free telephone number for further information on the book or prospective speaking engagements. 2) Coordinated “book-signings”: Since the book will include numerous contributors from throughout the country, the author and as many of the letterwriters as possible will do a joint “book-signing” in bookstores across the US. This will act as a promotional kick-off on the first day the book will be available to the public. 3) National exposure: Within the first six months of publication, the author will embark on a publicity tour in New York NY, Boston MA, Philadelphia PA, Washington DC, Richmond VA, Miami FL, Atlanta GA, Houston TX, San Francisco CA, Scottsdale AZ, and Chicago IL. The author will arrange for speaking engagements and will request radio and television leads by the publisher in those locales. 4) Speaking engagements: The author will speak nationally at each of the above locations and will take advantage of local opportunities for speaking engagements through Rotary, the local Chambers of Commerce, Women in Business, Kiwanis, and other service organizations. The author will speak at the local university and community college, both of which she has taught as an adjunct professor. Currently, the author has Pennsylvania and Baltimore MD speaking engagements to promote the book. Depending upon the status of the book, Holly will either be requesting submissions for the book or promoting the sale of the book once a publication date is secured. 5) Local radio and television: The author has appeared on the local radio and television through business interviews and promotions. She has maintained those contacts and will arrange interviews to promote this and any following books. 6) Local networks: As a member of various organizations, Ms. Corcoran, as she did for her accounting practice, will take every opportunity through existing networks to market this book as well as all following spin-offs. 7) Website links: create links to and from other women’s online organizations. This is already in process to request submissions for the book and later, when a publication date is available, to advertise the sale of the book. 8) Brochures: Have 10,000 brochures printed with the jacket cover of the book and excerpts from Dear Women to include in media kits, send with promotional copies to civic and corporate organizations, and direct mailing to over 2,000 contacts maintained by the author. 7 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran 9) Media kits: Create a five-ten minute video and news releases for media, volunteer organizations, and women’s groups. Ms. Corcoran currently maintains an educational video for prospective new business clients through her practice and she will rely on her previous experience to create such media material. As indicated above, a CD of letter recordings is being created as will be used to request submissions for the book, but later will be used to promote sales of the book. 10) Conferences: Secure a booth at the local Chamber of Commerce Business Expo at which seven hundred businesses present as well as thousands of attendees. Present and/or have a booth at the writers’ conferences. 11) Readings: Present readings of “letters” at local libraries as well as those on the national tour. 12) Audio CD: The author, with help from different women, will create an audio CD of the book to be produced and marketed similar to the hardcover. 13) Book signings: Arrange for book-signing opportunities at the various book stores in our region as well as on tour. This will be in addition to the “joint book-signing” indicated above. 14) Promotional copies: Organizations and nonprofits, signature included: The author will use 100 signed promotional copies for distribution at national organizations such at National 4H Council for 4H Volunteers, National United Way, American Red Cross, AAUW, National Association of Women Business Owners, American Business Women’s Association, National Women’s Business Council and the International Coaches Federation, (ICF) to name a few. Local organizations such as Women’s Resources of Monroe County, Pocono Area Transitional Housing, Hughes Eastern Monroe Library, Girl Scouts Scranton-Pocono Council, Monroe County Arts Council, Penn State Cooperative Extension 4H youth division, Pocono Medical Center, Rotary Club of the Stroudsburgs, Kiwanis and United Way of Monroe County. 15) Promotional copies: Large corporations, signature included: Send an additional 500 promotional copies to the highest ranking woman executive in each Fortune 500 company. 16) Advertisements: Take out display ads in at least five regional newspapers on the “joint book-signing” date to advertise the book signings and promote the book. The newspaper will depend upon the cities in which Dear Women will be represented by book signers. 17) Toll-free telephone number: 1-866-LETTER-5 – maintain the toll-free number for sales, questions and submissions. This is currently a working line available for the letter submission process. 18) Establishment and registration of books’ logo: Commissioned by a local artist. Prior to publication, Holly will register this logo at the “books of letters” trademark nationally. “Books of letters” has been registered as a fictitious name in Pennsylvania. 8 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran 19) The long-shot: The author’s ultimate goal is to be on the Oprah Winfrey show’s book club. There is a section on www2.oprah.com to request to be on her show and tell your story. The author will pursue this avenue when Dear Women is published. Ongoing promotion • Maintain the website for this book as well as those to follow • Maintain the toll-free telephone number • Continue to promote self and book through monthly radio interviews as well as speaking engagements • Submission of magazine and newspaper columns • Continuing exploration of other marketing opportunities Budget: Travel for promotions Submissions Brochures, book cards & other printing Permissions, if applicable CD recordings & printing Book purchase for promotion & re-sale Regional newspaper advertising Total Estimated Budget Promotion Costs $ 6,500 6,000 5,000 1,000 1,500 3,000 7,000 $ 30,000 ** ** Priority will be placed upon most important promotional opportunities and may be downscaled based upon available advance. The Outline List of Chapters I. Introduction - a brief opening letter introducing Dear Women to the reader, encouraging them to prepare to laugh and cry over the heart-felt letters to follow. Change – letters on the only constant thing in any of our lives … change. Some changes are planned and some are not. These letters explore how women weather the transformative events in their lives, how they cope, adapt and survive all forms of changes sometimes with style and grace, sometimes by sheer grit. Dreams – letters of the letter writers’ dreams that were not passing fancies but meaningful, life-changing aspirations as they had the fortitude to follow their desires. These letters help women to identify and pursue their ideas through encouragement from other women pursuing their own life visions. II. III. 9 Dear Women IV. By Holly R. Corcoran V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI. Balance – letters on probably the number one issue in most busy women’s lives, the struggle to maintain balance (and sanity) in our modern times. These letters look at how other women find and maintain that fulcrum’s center in their lives, some by organization, some by accident, but most by maintaining a renewable source of internal energy generated by the highest self-care. Friends – letters about the best women friends who mold who they are, listen to their grievances and triumphs, and always lend a supportive ear. These letters are tribute to the friendships women value most, about those friends who are not held through family ties, but instead far stronger ties built through trust and care. These letters pay tribute to the wonderful friends women have and allow them to see how their friendships have bolstered and encouraged other women in their lives. Hope/Faith – letters of hope and faith outlining life experiences where such belief saved the letter writers from defeat or destruction, how they maintained hope, and how it maintained them. These letters show women how to sustain and hold faith in their lives to accomplish their heart’s desires. Careers – letters from women who hold the titles of CEO (Chief Executive Officer) or CCBW (Chief Cook and Bottle Washer) – sometimes concurrently – and how they chose their careers. How their careers serve their lives as spiritual beings. How following their bliss allows for greater harmony throughout all aspects of a women’s life. Abundance & attitude– letters on the abundance we have and how we attract good things into our lives, overcoming the defeating thoughts of scarcity. Women speak of how our thoughts in any given area tend to expand the object of our thought. Therefore, belief in abundance in our lives breeds greater wealth while thoughts of lack detract from our overall wellbeing. Adversity – letters about facing life’s challenges and learning lessons, sometimes the hard way. Women’s account of their graduation from the “School of Hard Knocks,” and how they traversed the hardships in their lives through a life-saving attitude or by stumbling upon a healthy coping mechanism. The letters shared will give hope to those experiencing difficult times and allow them to see there may be a “light at the end of the tunnel” and that it isn’t a train! Choices – letters outlining the choices women have made that have changed the direction of their lives. Such decisions were either for better or worse, but the choices took the letter writers down roads that they would not have otherwise encountered. Some choices the women made and some were made for them, but in the end, things somehow work out for the best. Sometimes the women have found that the best decision to make is simply to be happy in life, this being a meaningful conscious choice. Creativity – letters celebrating the unique creativity of women. These letters outline how creativity may have saved their business, opened up a career, allowed them to pursue the arts, or fashioned a home where all family members love to gather. Letters of creativity open the doors to the women’s soul allowing their light to shine outward in a meaningful way. 10 Dear Women XII. By Holly R. Corcoran Independence – letters showing how by maintaining their independence, women were able to find strength within themselves that they may not have always known they had. Some girls are born independent, some women do not find this attribute until they are widows late in life, but these letters reveal the journey of autonomy and how it inspired these women to reach heights they had never dreamed possible. XIII. Synchronicity – letters outlining how “coincidental” events in their lives placed them at the right place at the right time, allowed them to make a life altering change at the appropriate time, or allowed them to cross paths with a meaningful person without whom their lives would not be the same. Everyone has had the experience of thinking of someone and having the phone ring finding it to be that person or instances of “déjà vu.” These letters explore the poignancy of such events, their meaning and purpose in life’s plan. XIV. Intuition – letters about how following their intuition led women in the right direction, saved them from harm, or allowed them to reach levels of enlightenment not previously encountered. Everyone’s heard of a “women’s intuition”, but how many women truly value it and listen deeply to the wisdom from within. These letters will inspire women to listen to their inner voice. XV. Forgiveness – letters of forgiveness of family, friends, enemies or even self. These letters explore the spiritual freedom created for the woman who is pardoning another since forgiveness frees the person who forgives, not the person who is absolved. There is great power lost by harboring “hard feelings” and these letters show how women were able to forgive and how it helped them spiritually and mentally. XVI. Love – letters of love commemorating meaningful, caring women in our lives. How this love changed and transformed the letter writer’s life and how living our life with love in our hearts generates more love in our lives. What we give away comes back ten-fold. XVII. This and That – letters of other meaningful messages on the tips of women’s quills just waiting to be shared with her sisters in spirit. This is an area open to the words of wisdom on topics not identified above; only the letter writer’s imagination limits the potential of this section. XVIII. Conclusion by Author – a letter from the author concluding on the overall message of the book. This letter will be written as a response to the thoughts shared by those making submissions and lessons learned in the process. If nothing else in life, we must enjoy the journey, the process of our lives, because the destination is not the end. 11 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran Sample Chapters Introduction “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” (Marianne Williamson “A Return to Love,” 1972, chapter 7) Dear Women: As I peer out my window at the promise in the buds of spring, I find that, like those courageous blossoms, I wish to bring you a message of hope, love and encouragement. Like any woman, you are one in a million. You are the only one who can be you in the most meaningful and passionate way possible. Open the flower of your life and allow your light to shine. You are truly a unique and wonderful person. In the following letters from women to you, there are numerous voices, singing the chorus of praise from experience. All of us need love and support in our lives. All of us need to feel special. None of us can do it ALL by ourselves. Please allow these letters to encourage you on your unique path in life. I know your journey may be extremely arduous – far more difficult than my own. Yet, you are here - both in this book of letters as well as on this Earth - for a meaningful purpose. I challenge you to find that meaning. Find love, balance, forgiveness and peace in your soul. Allow the calming balm of well intentioned prose wash your spirit. Remember your sisters here on Earth. We are not in this “battle” called life alone although we must enter and die as individuals, there is a symphony of spirits with you physically and spiritually on your chosen path. You have your purpose and like good sisters, the letter writers in this book are here to encourage you along the way. Read, enjoy, absorb, laugh and cry. Whatever you do, please do not take your personal wellbeing lightly. As a woman, you not only take care of yourself, you take care of others around you. You care for your partner in life, your children, your parents, your pets, your neighbors, your community, your place of work and your playground. Without the creative beautiful energy that is yours, this world – your world – would be a far different place. You may ask – Why letters? I was born in the sixties and grew up in the seventies and eighties – before personal computers and right before the internet age and email became the norm. During my life there were numerous instances where letters kept me going. In a private boarding high school and then later in college, I was away from friends who were far a field. We kept in touch through letters. 12 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran As a young adult I was lucky to have some older mentors who wrote letters to keep me encouraged. At the time I was a negative, “Henny-Penny” type of person and like the arid ground absorbs the moisture during a parched August rain, my soul ached to read those buoyant words. When I became romantically involved with a man, I often wrote letters to express my deepest feelings. The saying that “men are from Mars and women from Venus” was never truer for anyone than for me. To help understand the tumultuous feelings of “romantic love,” I sometimes needed the objectivity of the blank page to come to grips with my emotions and those generated by my lover. As an adult, I kept in touch with a dear friend of mine from high school by picking up the phone and chatting about our lives’ events. Occasionally we exchanged letters, but as mothers and wives and later for me as a divorced, single parent, the time was not there to write letters. But I often looked back or re-read old letters, getting a sense of the history of my life through a nostalgic point of view. Whenever I have undertaken what I felt were huge endeavors such as starting my accounting practice or writing this book, I saturated my mind with the jewels of optimism through other’s prose. Again, like a sponge, I absorbed each word, each statement, saying that I could accomplish anything in life. I cherished these treasured tomes. That which I had been so freely given by other writers, I wanted so much to “give back” to other depleted souls such as I had been – or how I often become through stress or over commitments. I wanted to reach out and touch women in a meaningful and powerful way. I wanted to say “Yes, you can do ANYTHING you want to do as long as you believe wholeheartedly that you can. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Move towards your dreams. Take risks. Live life to its fullest and you will reap the rewards!” Knowing the message, I thought long and hard about the medium and I came back to my love of letters. I still love letters. In fact, I’m probably one of the few people who LOVE the family Christmas letters that accompany the annual cards allowing a brief flavor of what their year has been. Mine in return is a “New Years” letter because I never get them out before Christmas. I couch my reminiscence with a hint of humor, hoping that none of us takes ourselves TOO seriously and that we remember although those letters sound like travel brochures, each writer had to get up each day, brush his or her teeth and go to work. Yes, there is a “reality” to our lives. We must meet each day and take some punches on the chin. Yet, our journey is far lighter with friends and family around us. The letters in this book, I hope, will become your friends, your encouragement. So, read on and … enjoy. The Author, Holly 13 Dear Women Chapter 1: On change…. By Holly R. Corcoran Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope - a slight change, and all patterns alter. Sharon Salzberg, Freelance writer and author of several books such as Insight Meditation: A Step by Step Course on How to Meditate by Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein (Spiral-bound - May 2002) Dear Women: I’ve decided to start at the beginning … wherever that may be. Where is the beginning of anything, really? When does anything start or does actual change begin? Is it at our birth? Yet we were conceived. Is it the miracle of conception or is it the ephemeral map of our lives co-created with our teacher, guides or angels before our physical birth? Is it any one great event or is it actually the idea to move in a different direction that actually creates change? The battle of choices won and lost in our turbulent minds. The creative flicker of conception germinates in our mind’s eye and we either create it or kill it – We give birth to the idea … or we abort. If nurturing the concept is our choice, like our wombs do for our unborn child, our minds create and nurture the transformative event. Maybe, change just “is” and we are actually fluid beings; it is only our restricted thinking that creates the kaleidoscopic barrier called “change.” I remember being pregnant with my first child. Neither security nor a stable relationship was mine. I was plagued by fear and the first trimester was a living hell. I was scared to death to have this baby and face all of the adjustments associated with parenthood. How would I juggle a baby and a career? My myopic approach to mandating security within my life was a crusade. A deeper fear was – how could I possibly be a good parent? I felt I had few suitable skills to bring to the table. Then she was born – ironically by caesarian. They say, I read later, that breech babies are reluctant to leave their mother’s heart. She was and still is so beautiful. She is and always will be my heart of hearts. Thank you, God for such a wonderful gift. Granted, there were a significant amount of adjustments to my life. Prior to having the baby, my husband and I were always on the go, and with only the dog to worry about, we were relatively free. Suddenly I was tied to this baby through feeding schedules (I’d chosen to nurse) and restricted by nap-time. Whenever we left the house, it was an ordeal with diaper bag, stroller, and various other baby accoutrements. Baby took planning and many times it became just easier to stay home. At first I felt jealous that my husband could simply come and go as he pleased. Initially I felt trapped, but after the first couple of months I adjusted and became enthralled with the wonders of this new little life. I became aware that what I’d viewed as terrifying was a blessing beyond belief. With my child was born a part of me I never knew I had … a love unimaginable to me, unbelievable, yet freeing. She gave me the ability to love unconditionally when so much had been tied to conditions in my life. 14 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran My mother had died when I was six and I had not experienced a mother’s love. I was raised by my father. To establish discipline, love had its price. My marriage was also conditional – but this child had no strings attached. She smiled and giggled when I was silly, delighting in the unrestrained Self. Her emotions were real and unguarded – no manipulation – truly basic and real. Love, joy, delight, frustration, fatigue, bliss, satisfaction – all were there. In the end, that which I had feared allowed me to grow and expand in ways I’d never dreamed. With all of life’s renovations, there are blessings hidden. We are miners of our own fate … or faith. According to the nineteenth century philosopher, William James, “It is the belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking that insures the successful outcome of our venture.” Very often we must believe and have faith in our choices. Without faith and courage, all of life can appear frightening since change is the only constant in the universe. Outside of the birth of my daughter, and in addition to welcoming my son to our family two years later, there have been numerous changes that I have weathered. Either from my own decision to make course alterations or from what life decided to send me. Over time I have greater confidence in my ability to withstand the transformative events in my life. I have become more courageous. I guess we become more fluid or rigid depending upon how we hold life’s ordeals. Ideally these alterations should roll over us like waves upon the ocean – there is no intrinsic variation to the content of the ocean by the wave, just its motion. Hence, the saying, “go with the flow.” Dear women, our lives are continuous motion, many lives past and present and future. It need not be the reincarnation from one physical birth to another, but a continual re-birth throughout our chaotic lives. We move from childhood to adolescence to adulthood to geriatric and death, if we are lucky enough to live that long. We move from the juvenile single to the married woman. We move from the parented to parenting. We move from light to darkness … and back. The very foundation of our lives is change. With us is born free will. We have the choice of embracing such transformation or aborting it. The blessing is ours to accept or reject. Whether change is conscious choice or by external force, we still exercise choice in how we deal with it. Remember that it is a process and usually involves a gradual awakening. It is not one specific event or moment in time. Enjoy the process, enjoy the journey, for it may ultimately bring you to a far grander place. Remember the past, cherish the present, and embrace the future. It is your life to live … or not. I challenge you to embrace changes in your life as simple as breathing in lifegiving oxygen and releasing the waste carbon dioxide. That, too, is change on a very minute scale. So live … and breathe … and like the waves on the ocean take things as they come. Love, Holly 15 Dear Women Chapter 2: On following your dreams… It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck (1927 - 1996) US journalist, author, humorist Dear Women: By Holly R. Corcoran So much of our modern life is wrapped up in daily routine that many of us have forgotten what our dreams were, let alone have the energy to pursue them. Life and kids and the demands on our time and our multitasking abilities often leave us depleted and ready to take a nap or go to bed early just to start the whole mad rush again tomorrow. Despite our demanding lives, I encourage you to dream. It is what life is really made of. Before anything can become a physical reality, it had to have passed through the dream or thought stage. Plato claimed that there was a “higher reality” where everything on the physical plain was represented in the metaphysical state. I’ve heard that “what the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” Yeah, right, you may be saying right now. How would I have the time to (state your dream here) go back to college, have a baby, start a new career, get happily remarried, lose weight, ride a horse, go sky diving, et cetera? When I was a young child, perhaps in second grade, I had an intense desire to write. In fact I wrote, published and illustrated several of my own books. I remember one was about a man and a dog that seemed like one run-on sentence with no plot and another was a retake of the TV show “The Wagon Train.” What I remember most is that as soon as I could put a pen (or crayon) to paper, I had an insatiable desire to write. In my eighth grade year, two noteworthy events took place. One was a health class assignment where we were required journal every day for two or three weeks, just very brief entries stating what we did and how we felt on that given day. I really liked the assignment and I faithfully recorded events and emotions of each day during the assignment period. I still have that paper and it was the beginning of my journaling experience. Off and on since age fourteen, I have kept a journal. Very often it was my “one-sided” forum to lament about the world, but as I matured, it became my place of dreams. On the pages I would dream, plan and pray. I have saved every journal since that time. The other thing that happened was this. In preparation for our eighth grade graduation (our elementary school went from K-8 and it was a big deal matriculating out of grade school), we recorded what jobs or careers we would have as adults and we did a slide show of each student poised in a future task that would employ us in the mythical time called adulthood. My wish was to become a writer. I remember the picture as if it was yesterday with me wearing my “Mickey-Mouse” t-shirt at a desk with pen in hand poised above paper and surrounded by books in the background. Thinking back, that was a neat exercise in visualization that probably none of us would have understood at the time, but I wonder how many of us fulfilled those pictures. 16 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran Initially I did not fulfill that picture, but I did pursue interim “dreams.” In my letter to you on hope, I will tell you about how I started my accounting practice on a wing and a prayer and how the myopic power of “hope” pulled me through the dark times and into the light of success. Yet, in retrospect, what I think I loved most about starting my accounting practice was the creative outlet, the process of bringing out of nothing a business, a career, and an occupation. Where there were no clients, there became living and breathing people entrusting me with their taxes or business accounting. Where there had been no funds, there became a viable business able to sustain me economically and professionally. I loved the process. I also loved, and still love, serving my clients. Talking to them, discovering their goals, and through accounting or business advice, help them to achieve those goals – it may be as simple as saving taxes or as complex as starting and running a new business. That part has been wonderfully rewarding. As a process of starting my business I read everything I could get my hands on to bolster my self esteem and enrich my mind with “positive thinking.” As I did that and as my business grew, I had an intense desire to “give back to the universe” that which had been so generously imparted to me. I wanted to encourage other women to reach their highest potential. I wanted to cheer them on, encourage them and rejoice in their successes. I knew that I found journaling therapeutic and that I also loved to write letters. I once had a friend to whom I wrote letter after letter and my friend loved each one. The seed germinated in my mind that it would be wonderful to write letters to women that would be inspiring and encouraging, but I was unsure how to proceed at that time. I was thirty years old when the idea was born. I swore to write a book before I was forty. And I did. I wrote Remember the Journey a novel about a single mother raising two children and pursuing her dreams. That book (as of this time) has not been published, but, oh, how I loved the process. I loved the creative outlet and the god-like ability to create characters, watch them speak and act as I breathed life into them and constructed the blueprint for that book and two potential sequels. Often I can remember typing as the muse overtook me and the character exhibited a will of their own to say and do things that I could not have planned. You may ask why I didn’t start this project first. You know what? It was because I was afraid to screw it up. Dear Women was such a long-term and intense dream that I was afraid my frail efforts to bring it to fruition would somehow taint that beautiful ephemeral dream. Dreams are wonderful and reality is, well …reality. I had forgotten much of the teachings I had absorbed to start my accounting practice, that thought creates reality. Dreams are gifts from the eternal universe given to us to allow us to blossom into the beautiful spiritual beings that we are. THAT is reality, not the daily routine, not the obstacles that get in the way, and certainly not the negative self-defeating thoughts that crowd our minds as we contemplate fulfilling our dreams. As of the writing of this letter to you, I do not know when or how this will be published, but it will be – no matter what it takes! As I sit at my desk typing, there are lots of “real” things encroaching upon my day in fulfilling my dream – the kids need lunch, I promised myself to empty my closets of all old clothes to drop at the Salvation Army tomorrow, I 17 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran need to pay bills, call the horse dentist since I missed him last week, send out the holiday letters that are waiting to be mailed and the list goes on. Instead, I’m writing this letter to you. I’m dreaming and at the same time making the dream a reality. If there is nothing else I can impart to you, it is this: live your dreams, no matter what time of life it is. Those dreams are waiting for your loving touch to be born. Only you have the unique touch to breathe life into them and make them a reality. I have always felt that if everyone in the world really did what they loved, all jobs would be filled and we would have a much happier world. Instead, life’s snares trip us up into believing that our only hope is to make it day to day, send our kids to college, or those without kids to pursue greater and greater advancements in their careers, save for retirement and then maybe we can be economically safe to pursue the dreams of our youth. But where is our energy, our zeal? Where is the excitement to spring out of bed each day to pursue those dreams fueled by hope? In the movie, Tuck Everlasting, Tuck warns Whinney not to fear death but instead to fear the unlived life. Through mortality Whinney lives a very full and enriching life. I wish you the same. Live life to its fullest. Dream your dreams. Live your dreams. Your dearest friend, Holly 18 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran Chapter 3: Balance “Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” Robert Fulghum, author of All That I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten Dear Woman: I did a really dumb thing last year. I took on far too many obligations, without adequate support, leaving little to no time for myself or any down time. I ran out of energy to keep all the balls in the air and promptly ran into a brick wall. Here’s what I did… Last spring and summer I had numerous discussions with my son, Dillon, about school. He’s hated the institution since the beginning of pre-school, but he’d had a very difficult fourth grade. He asked me to home-school him, yet because of being a self-employed single parent, I felt unable to make the commitment. I am a certified public accountant and did not know how I could possibly squeeze any more time out of tax season, where as the rest of the year, I could possibly manage. In spite of all the reasons I should not have home-schooled Dillon, the more I contemplated it, the more I thought we might be able to pull it off. I asked a young woman I knew who had graduated with a degree in Education, but had yet to find a job, if she could work for me during tax season by being Dillon’s teacher. She agreed. I then drafted an agreement with Dillon outlining his responsibilities and mine during the home-school process. We agreed that he would come to the office with me and use the extra conference room as his classroom. It was all set. Home-schooling went fairly well during the fall. Dillon made a concerted effort to do everything assigned. I provided instruction early in the morning and at intervals during my busy work day as he progressed through his subjects. I was pleased with the progress we were making and he was tolerant of the educational process – in other words this was the best option he had so far, while still claiming to hate school in general. Early in November, to my surprise, I received a call from the local university inviting me to submit my resume and apply to teach an entry level accounting course during the spring semester (a.k.a. tax season). I had wanted to get my foot in at the university years before, but now I cringed, knowing the timing was not optimum. However, I accepted the invitation for an interview, thinking that I would at some point be able to say “no.” Yet, somewhere between hello and shaking hands good-bye, I had agreed to take teach the course. Well, how bad could it be? It was Financial Accounting One and I had taught the same class as the community college years before. I figured I could do it in my sleep. This 19 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran was my alma mater, so I was familiar with the course, the text, the other professors in the department and their methods of teaching. It would be a piece of cake, I told myself. At that time, I had a staff of three working in my practice: a paraprofessional, a part-time secretary and a CPA. Business had been somewhat slack after the 9-11 tragedy. Weighing all factors, I could distribute the work-load to accommodate the class, especially since I had our friend, Vivien, who would be taking over Dillon’s homeschooling during tax season. Then everything started to gradually go down hill. Early in December, I found out the CPA working for me would be leaving… he’d found a better job in another town. Well, at least it wasn’t one of my local competitors; that, at least, was some consolation. Then, Vivien got a teaching job at the local public school…I couldn’t stand in the way of her career. OK, I thought, I could handle this. I could figure out another plan. I drafted Plan B whereby I would hire a housekeeper who would handle all domestic chores as well as pick Dillon up from the office at 3pm and take Dillon home. I would also hire a tax preparer. Since I had been challenged keeping the full-time heavy staff busy over the year, I thought perhaps a seasonal person might be a better choice. I advertised and found what I thought was a suitable candidate. I invited her into the office and tested her knowledge on several tax returns, with somewhat satisfactory results. Well, even if she was a little rough around the edges, I could train her, right? Wrong. We went into tax season as prepared as we could be. Thankfully the housekeeper turned out to be a gem, but the tax preparer did not… actually resulting in more work to correct all of the mistakes. By early March I had to let her go. When I received the text from the school, it turned out to be a completely different book with an entirely different approach to teaching accounting. In my opinion, it put the cart before the horse, so I could sympathize with students finding the accounting concepts difficult. In addition, since I was to be teaching an evening class, I’d assumed I would be working with continuing education students who were there to learn. Instead I had a larger mix of traditional age kids who chose not to do their homework and wondered why I could not grace them with the passing grade they needed to graduate in the spring. Unfortunately, it got even worse before the first rays of spring. We had three bad snow storms; all on Tuesdays, my class night. We missed three classes, each three hours long. The head of the department told me I had to make up the time and complete the entire text. Where on God’s green Earth was I going to find any TIME to “make up” these classes? I tried minimizing our breaks and pushing to the last minute of class, ending in front of a class of bleary eyed students. I was even able to schedule two make up evenings later in the semester. However, by the end of February, after a particularly difficult class, I drove home with an incredible pain in my chest. I was sure it was stress, but I just couldn’t release it. No 20 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran matter how hard I tried to relax and let go, I became tenser. I thought about going out to my barn, sitting with the horses or going for a ride in the middle of the night in order to allay the tension, but decided that it would be unwise to do so at 11:00PM. Exhausted, yet feeling uneasy, I fell asleep, awaking at 2AM with a solid weight of pain in my chest. As I arose, I realized it was getting worse and my pulse was pounding in my head. Here I was in the middle of the night, alone with my kids asleep down the hall, either having an anxiety attack or a heart attack. Deciding that I needed help but knowing that I couldn’t leave my kids to wake up and find me gone or dead, I had to do something…but what? What do you do at 2:00 in the morning? I tried calling my sister, but she didn’t hear her phone. I went upstairs and woke my daughter trembling and hyper-ventilating. I told her I may need to go to the hospital and they both may need to come with me. Sitting on the edge of her bed, I held my wrist and counted my pulse, more than two beats to every tick on my watch… Oh my God, what was happening to me? I couldn’t get it under control. I couldn’t breathe, relax and let it go. It just kept getting worse. Could I really be having a heart attack? I was an active person who exercised (granted I’d been away from it for the last month due to tax season). I ate right. I didn’t drink. Although not at the weight I wanted to be, I wasn’t more than 15 pounds over weight. How could I be having a heart attack? Scared, with no other adult in the house to watch over my kids and definitely on the edge, I decided I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital so I called an ambulance. Shortly after that, my sister called me back from the message I’d left on her machine. She said she would come to the house and stay with the kids, who were both awake and frightened. The ambulance arrived. They took my pulse – 120bpm (normal resting rate is around 70 bpm). They took my blood pressure which was routinely low, and it was through the roof. As they packed me up to go to the hospital another ambulance arrived … one of my friends who ran with the ambulance, had heard it was me and came to help. I hugged her so hard, I was so glad to see her. She took care of me all the way in… she and I both knew it was a case of over kill. I didn’t have a heart attack, thank God. I was torn between feeling like an idiot for calling the ambulance and wishing I could have gotten my own anxiety under control. The next day, after being released from the hospital, I went home. My daughter, Kelly and I hopped on our horses and went for a bareback ride. We talked. She told me Dillon sobbed after I left. I was touched… for some reason, I didn’t think it would have that much of an impact on him. (Later, as a joke, we’d say that he was just afraid he’d have to go back to public school.) He’s inwardly sensitive but not outwardly demonstrative of affection, especially for his mom – he’s too old for that. Kelly had been worried and upset, but she was OK. At least that’s what she told me. We ended our ride and after dinner, my sister went home. I planned from then on to scale back a little for a few days. I left the office to go home for dinner at night. I allowed myself a good night’s sleep…simple luxuries that make the difference between sanity and stress. I remembered what’s most important… my health and my kids. I needed to cherish both. I realized that in the end, I would cover as much of the material for the 21 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran college course as possible, but would finish where we finished. I would let things go. It was very hard for me. I hated to fail and I felt I had failed for that class. Perhaps if I hadn’t taken on more than I could handle that winter I would have been a little more resilient and I would have done a better job. I had to forgive myself my lack of balance by not knowing when to say “no.” After that night, many of my priorities came back into clearer focus. Although I had laid the best plans possible, things had fallen apart. I’d done my best to keep all the balls in the air, not counting on the incredible toll it would have upon me. I guess the greatest part of balancing our lives is knowing when to say “when.” A wise friend of mine has told me that saying “yes” to something is saying “no” to something else. By saying “yes” to all the outside obligations, I was saying “no” to taking good care of myself, without which all else is worthless. In the past I had always prided myself on my ability to find balance. I ate right. I exercised. I rode my horse, read and got the rest I needed – most nights. I hired help to do the things I considered mundane, like housekeeping. I hired staff at the appropriate times (usually). I planned and scheduled my busy season to pace myself throughout the weeks and months in order to meet the deadline in an organized and timely fashion. I had always done these things. I even reminded myself that I had tried to have the bases covered by having Vivien and remembered that I hadn’t known that the CPA was going to leave. I couldn’t chastise myself for not having a crystal ball. And perhaps I did OK – I survived. I handled the chaos and catastrophe and moved on. I learned another valuable lesson along life’s path. This year I’m not home-schooling Dillon. He knew it was a one year commitment, so he’s going to a small school that gives him the individualized attention he needs and they love him. He’s getting A’s and B’s. I did not accept another position to teach at the university. My office is organized; my staff and I are ready for another tax season. I almost feel like I could take on the world again. Well, at least my small portion of it at least. Please, dear women, keep in mind the tenuous tight-rope we walk daily. We multi-task. We take care of others around us – our children, our spouses, our parents. In order to be able to take care of anyone else we need to take excellent care of ourselves and retain balance in our lives. It is very easy to take on too much … too much work, too much school, too many activities (either kids or ourselves), too many volunteer hours on top of our busy jobs, too much housekeeping without enlisting the aide of our family members. It must be the extra “X” chromosome that makes us think were invincible. I caution to you to make time for the things you love and enjoy. Take time to reflect, meditate and pray. Get enough sleep and exercise. Remember that getting our kids through soccer season, high school or college is not the destination. Our lives are a process. The journey is meant to be enjoyed. Yet we must remember that like walking a tightrope, balance is essential. 22 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran You know the answers of what works for you. You know the things you need to maintain your sanity and reduce stress. Award yourself that precious care. Better than you would give to someone else … because you are worth it! Love, Holly PS. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” Albert Einstein 1879-1955 23 Dear Women Chapter 4: Friends By Holly R. Corcoran “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” Anonymous “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” Anonymous Dear Women: Thank you for your friendship that goes beyond words. The gratitude that I hold in my heart can not begin to tell you how much I appreciate you and how you have enriched my life. I am truly a blessed woman to have your friendships, and you all know who you are… You are the friend of my youth with whom I went through high school, who has known me since the age of fourteen and shares my history. When I begin to tell you a story of what happened today or yesterday, I do not need to fill in the backdrop of my life. You remember the mistakes we made together, the tears and laughter and joy we shared in our youth. You remember the hardships of my strained family relationships, so I don’t have to retell you those stories, you know them. You have kept them for me and even remind me of bends in our journey that I do not recall. My dear childhood friend, you knew me as a pimply, awkward young teenager or how we struggled to be different in college, but instead found out that the professors rewarded same-ness, the regurgitated information … so differently than we were taught as students in high school. You were my roommate my sophomore year of high school, and, boy the things we did, and shared and played! Thank you for your love of who I was then and who I am now. How we shared the births of our children and the changes in our careers. Thank you for those hours of time on the phone, always helping me to stretch into a better person. You are the woman, who worked with me in my early years in business, and weathered the birth of a new business and the tumult of my divorce. Thank you for listening and understanding and encouraging me to be the best I could under the circumstances at the time. Your thoughts and insights were glistening treasures to me in my parched and arid land of crisis. Without you, I don’t know if I would have made it. Thank you for being there for me. I believe God had His hand in bringing you to me at just the right time. You are the women I met while boarding my horse, with whom I shared many miles of happy trails, who accepted me and my daughter as “trail pals” even though you were all older and wiser and beyond having young children of your own. I cherish the memories of those rides through the woods, fields or snow … talking loud enough to be heard over the creaking of our saddles and the wind in our riding helmets. What is even better, though, is that now that we are far a field from one another, we still keep in touch. We share the changes and challenges of our lives and you continue to enrich my existence. 24 Dear Women By Holly R. Corcoran You are my mentor and friend, a truly enlightened woman who is articulate, intelligent and admirable. You have faced your challenges in life and found the resources you needed to beat back the demons that sometimes want to trip us up. We meet for lunch and we talk on the phone. You offer insight without offering advice. You think and care about what I say. I feel our friendship is a mutually enlightening experience. I value our friendship more than a precious jewel; you help me to stretch metaphysically to become a wiser woman. You are the woman I speak to daily, sharing our yesterdays and this morning in our endless pursuit of getting children where they need to be and us to our place of work. The familiarity that we share is appreciated and keeps me grounded to the daily aspects of our lives… we can’t always live in the stars; someone has to make dinner and do the laundry. You are the woman I knew who moved away and we don’t talk frequently, but when we do, I feel I learn something new. Or if I need to email a question, you unselfishly and immediately respond. You are there. It is great to know that you are there. You share your wisdom of years and it helps me make better sense of what is happening in my small and yet very big world. You are the woman who was my life coach and though we never met face-to-face, I appreciated your guidance. You provided me an anchor for my sailing ship of life. I knew I could discuss career, life, balance and choices with you in an objective manner. You would draw from your experiences and share insights or help me to discover the understanding from within. We walked through some major life changes and I valued your words and thoughts. Very often, I still hear your expressions in my head as I meditate a decision or find myself striving to be my ‘higher’ self. Thank you all for the friendships that have blessed my life in immeasurable ways. You have helped to mold who I am today. Without you, my life would not have only been far lonelier, but also far more shallow. You are women of substance who speak your minds allowing me to share in your authenticity. You are my true North. Thank you for gracing my life during this fascinating journey. I want to say I love you each in your own special way. I can only hope that I have imparted a fraction of the love, warmth and camaraderie you have extended to me. A mere “thank you” doesn’t cut it, but thank you anyway. Your friend, Holly PS. Dear Young Women: Never forget or forego your women friends – they will be there through thick and thin. They will love you unconditionally and allow you to sing your truth. Keep good women friends in your life! 25