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					Thank you for supporting the Locale!!!

WE’RE BACK, BABY!!!

VOLUME II, ISSUE I
Volume II Issue I Spring 2009
Contact: the_locale@hotmail.com www.myspace.com/thelocale

Interviews, News, Reviews, Opinions and More from the Illinois

Valley!

Letter from the Editor
Hey Buddies,

In Memory of Our Buddy

Michael Zeman

I’m keeping this short. If you are reading this then we were successful at resurrecting the Locale and creating our first issue. Let this be no more than an example of what we can do in the future. There were only a few of us working on many ideas and we hope that more people will become interested in sharing their thoughts in upcoming issues.

Thanks to those who have already helped and supported us. Peace and Unity.

1. Sportscenter’s Mount Rushmore of Illinois. The final four to make it onto Illinois’ Mt. Rushmore of sports were Michael Jordan, Walter Payton, Ernie Banks and Mike Ditka. I will note that these are all good picks even though one of them was never a champion (cough*Cubs*cough), but there is a devastating hole here. I am ashamed of our great state as a whole that we did not vote George Halas to our Mt. Rushmore of sports. If you know anything about football then you already know why. Personally I would have even put Red Grange ahead of Da Coach (at least Red was never a Cowboy). Read on: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/sportscenter/mtrushmore 2. The Grammy’s Best Rock Album 2009 The nominees: Coldplay Viva la Vida, Kid Rock Rock N Roll Jesus, The Raconteurs Consolers of the Lonely, Kings of Leon Only by the Night, and Metallica Death Magnetic The winner: Coldplay’s Viva la Vida The gripe: Rihanna’s Good Girl Gone Bad rocked ten times harder than Viva la Vida. The Grammys need a better understanding of basic genres. To Be Continued...

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --Voting Gripes

MCMXC-MMIX

NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEW Local Merch Tables are getting a Spring Cleaning Keep an eye open because most local bands will have a new album ready for you here in 2009. Let’s take a look at some of the bands that are gearing up for new tunes: Egon’s Unicat recorded 8 new tracks with longtime friend Chris Kusek at Talaski Studios in Oak Park IL in January. They’re taking their time to mix everything just right and have budding plans for an EP and a few vinyls later in the year. Cloud Mouth has been cranking out the hits since day one. They already have a four song self-titled EP as well as freak/ psych/fuck, a two track cassette tape available online through ear disposal records! But don’t expect the rock to end there. They’re planning on more and more and more in 2k9.
www.earldisposalrecords.net

More

SCOTT KALINA
pyrography

NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEW Rebekah’s Tape is close to releasing their first record in five years since the delicious double disc Radiation Flowers. They have been steadily self-recording in their own homes for quite a while. Look for it sometime this spring. Noise Guitar has been working on their first disc over the course of the last year. The 12 track album will be the first offering for this Ottawa based quartet and should be available around late March. If you want to get a copy check out one of their shows or stop by the Purple Monkey in Ottawa once it is done. NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEW

Take a look at more of his work online. Trust me... it looks much better there.

Some of you may know Scott Kalina already. You may know him as the drummer of Dropt and Allgood. You may know him because he does 16-track live recording (wink, wink). What you probably don’t know is that he loves to burn the midnight wood.

Check it out.

On February 21st of this year our friend, The Legend, wrecked his car. He was almost* crushed underneath a transformer. If you would like to donate money or old school baseball caps (size 7 ¼), please send it to the Locale and we will happily forward it to The Legend. *not really.

New Jams, Same Old Face(s)
Manteno, IL’s Feature Presentation played their last show on December the Sixth of last year. Many of you probably know them from the numerous shows they have played in the Valley or with bands from the area over the years. I even remember shows from way back when a man named Mikey rocked the bass. They had a great run, but from their ashes comes a new project that’s sure to be just as successful: Josh LaMore and the Sumthin’ Sumthins’. Josh is already back on the road doing his thing and you can check him out nearby in the upcoming months:
4/11 4/14 5/18 5/29 5/30 Mixtapes Roamer Bakery St. Joes 9th Street Pub The Warehouse East Moline, IL Bradley, IL Manteno, IL LaSalle, IL w/ Egon’s Unicat Morton, IL

“Pyrography is a form of art in which images are burned into wood or leather. I specialize in portraits and tattoo imagery, but I can work in many styles. Contact me if you would like to purchase any pieces or if you would like a custom piece.” http://www.myspace.com/pyrographybyscottkalina

TIME FOR SANDWICHES!!!
. . . because sandwiches are AWESOME!!

1st EDITION!

James “Jimmy” Kinkin stole the Locale’s (generic) MySpace layout and began using it for his own personal page. We at the Locale felt this was very unnecessary and completely disrespectful so we had Marty Garza send us some thoughts on Jimmy. This is…

Sandwich: Cajun Turkey Wheat Bagel Ingredients: Kroger brand whole-wheat bagels ($2.00 with Kroger Card), 1 lb. Cajun Turkey Breast ($6.49 with Kroger Card). Makes six sandwiches.
Preparation: First, toast a bagel. Second, remove the bagel from the toaster (do not forget to remove bagel from toaster). Third, apply slices of turkey breast to the bottom half of the bagel. Apply sloppily, folding pieces as to make the meat thicker in the center. Fourth, apply top half of the bagel. Squeeze the bagel to the meat firmly so the slices of meat are flush together. This creates the illusion of a giant turkey meat patty of some sort. Critique: Four out of Five thumbs up. Turkey is delicious and slightly spicy. Wheat bagels are very bland and tasteless, much like eating grass or tree bark. This compliments the extreme flavor of the turkey breast, and makes for a wonderful experience. Plus, wheat bagels are kind of good for you, I think (not that eating healthy is important when you're eating AWESOME!). Pros: Delicious. Easy to make. Portable. Delicious. Cons: Wheat bagels are extremely neutral. Six sandwiches are not enough for one sitting with such delicious sandwiches. Conclusion: I HIGHLY recommend this savory sandwich. If mine were stolen, I'd buy more immediately. This culinary moment was brought to you by

FOR. YOUR. INFORMATION.
with the Marty Garza

Jimmy's breath is comparable to:  A nun's unused and dusty vagina filled to the taint with mayonnaise that's been left open and out for a month in the middle of summer.  A ham sandwich that was used to mop the bottom of a dumpster outside of an Italian restaurant.  A communal condom used by no fewer than 3 bums.  The shit that is caked between a horseshoe and a horse's hoof, with a slight after-smell of mozzarella.  The left inner thigh of Amy Winehouse mixed with the vomit from the last guy she showed her left inner thigh to.  A ketchup bottle filled with beer shit.

David Robinson

,

the Admiral of Sandwiches.

Stolen Set List!!!
Who: Fickle’s Lot When: Friday, February 27th 2009 Where: Ninth Street Pub, LaSalle IL Bonus: We’ve blended the set list with what the Locale considers one of the worst flyers ever crafted (Kudos, Joe).

On Saturday, February 21st 2009 Egon’s Unicat performed at the Boondocks in West Chicago. Singer Sean Walsh made his way to the men’s restroom shortly after arriving to relieve himself from the intense pressure that had formed against his bladder. He found the following flyer on the wall above the urinal and was immediately confused and uneasy. Everything has its rightful place, and we cannot quite comprehend a bathroom stall being the best location for an obituary.

AND NOW SOME SHARP POINT/COUNTERPOINT POLITICAL ANALYSIS.
POINT: "I don't see why if kids want to pray in schools why they can't just have a moment to themselves to do so? What's it hurting anybody else?" COUNTERPOINT: “Dammit!!! Where-in-the-holy-name-of-the-Fuck is my lighter!!! I put it right there!! Right there!!! Now it is gone!! AAHHHGGG!! I don't know where, Steven, I put it right there!!”

THIS HAS BEEN SOME SHARP POINT/COUNTERPOINT POLITICAL ANALYSIS.

The Locale wants to know… what are your feelings on Cloud Mouth … in one sentence?
“If a man or woman were to talk shit about them, that person would cease to exist because I would kill that person… straight up.” “If their music was half as good as their flyers we would be mildly impressed.” “Cloud Mouth? More like DICK mouth.” "Cloud Mouth is the definition of 'Hardcore', they'll do whatever to make your ears hurt so good. (It's just rockand-roll without the bullshit.)" “Cloud Mouth is unholy in the best possible way, pretty terrific.” “In one sentence, or one word rather: YES!!! with both thumbs up and a big smile on my face.”
-Nick -Amanda Sioux -Patrick

BAND DIRECTORY!!!
Need another group for your show? Check out our friends:

BAND Egon’s Unicat Diamond of the Galaxy Rebekah’s Tape Cloud Mouth Gushing Cloud Save Us, Hollywood It’s a Robbery Edna’s VD The Pen Name Fickle’s Lot HKEC Downmind Noise Guitar Dutch Boy Frankenstein Nobody and the Fools Vintage Powersource The Illinois Tollway WorldWideRiot Jennie Z and Cory B

MYSPACE.COM/ egonsunicat 163505157 rebekahstape cloudmouth gushingcloud saveushollywood dudeitsarobbery ednasvd thepenname fickleslot thehongkongelectriccompany downmindband licking1river dutchboyfrankenstein nobodysfoolpunkrock vintagepowersource theillinoistollway riotsaroundtheworld jenniezandcoryb

-The Hong Kong Electric Company

-Jonathan

-Lenny

Cloud Mouth Retaliates!!!
“If HKEC's music was as prolific as their shit talking, I might actually listen to them. Wait. No I wouldn't.” Go ahead and judge them yourselves at www.myspace.com/cloudmouth

Are you our friend and want to be listed? Let us know! the_locale@hotmail.com

understand that your idea of what a real musician is is Britney Spears in real life. Playing seven shows a year, half of which are kiddie stages at Six Flags does not sound to me like you’re making yourself sweat. I commend you on making the move to Memphis, then later to L.A., but other than that, you have made no serious commitment and have no other accomplishments to show for yourself. I'm tired of reading your fake country accent, I’m tired of reading your continual name drops, and I’m tired of reading your "future plans." None of these efforts on your half will ever legitimize what you call your career. If it is the respect of Raven Simone’s fan base that you seek, then you are likely to earn it, but if it is the respect as a real musician that you seek to earn, you have definitely struck out.

The Locale wants

YOU!!!

Love, Russ T. Shackleford.
Comments, complaints or suggestions for

improvements? Please, please, PLEASE send them our way! If you want to submit your own writing or artwork or would like to write something, but need some ideas send us a message. We would love to hear from all of you!!!

It is now that the Locale would like to offer a disclaimer. Disclaimer: Outside of page one, all views expressed in editorials are solely those of their author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Locale.

If you’re in a band feel free to send us your music or invite us to an extra special show for review. Write us for an address to mail physical copies of music.

the_locale@hotmail.com https://www.myspace.com/thelocale

Additional Voting Gripes
3. 2009 Oscar Nominations.
Being the movie nerd that I am, the Oscars are always one of my favorite nights. Do I think they are the say all/be all/end all of what the year’s best movies are? Of course not. But it's still fun to turn on my TV and see Mickey Rourke looking like a god damn pimp and root for him to take home the prize. My specific gripe with Oscars right now is with the Best Original Song category and the fact that Bruce Springsteen was not nominated for his beautiful tale from The Wrestler by the same title (especially after he took home the Golden Globe for it). This led to speculation that he was ineligible to win after he chose to have the song released on his newest album. If this were true then I would complain about that rule (it is ridiculous after all) considering last year's winner from Once had also published their song on two different albums that the MPAA deemed too "small" to matter. Why should the Boss be penalized for being awesome? This is not the case, though. As released by Variety, “The Wrestler” was one of 49 songs eligible for nomination this year along with another favorite of mine from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (“Dracula's Lament”). The burning question is: How did it not get a nomination taking into account only three songs were nominated (up to five are allowed)? And, since five are allowed, why were there not automatically five nominations? Why are we limiting the voting? This I would love to know. Until then, see The Wrestler and stick through the credits for the Boss' heartrending song.

An open letter in response to Jessica Erin’s blog posted on 2/10/2009 entitled “My First Grammy Experience!!!”

Dear Jessica Erin,
Being as though we are from the same area, I feel it necessary to be the rope that pulls in your clouded, air-filled head from the outer space known as bullshit, Deep Bullshit 9. I can’t help but read these shitty blogs that you post because they are similar to driving on I80 and passing a car wreck. Your continual need to perpetuate the idea that you hold any worth as a musician or artist is beyond humorous. I find your multitude of self-glorified biographies and blogs to be more nauseating than the puke you smelled in the limo. A suggestion for one who hopes to someday be an accomplished musician is as follows:

Stop puffing out your figurative chest like a jock at a party before entering a fight and start doing your homework like the nerd who stays home on Friday night. I find it wise to pride oneself on accomplishments, not on mere associations. You, ma’am, have none. I'm not ashamed or abashed to admit to you that it is quite apparent that your lack of hard work is obvious. Your concept of being a real musician or artist involves singing songs others have written for you (even if you collaborated 3%), seeking cheap thrills (“Chicago Bears Fan” bullshit), airbrushed photography, and the glitz and glamour that is commercialized music as we know it. If you had actually done your homework on the “music biz” as you like to call it, you would

Jack t.Ripper

Continued on next page…

RUMORS!! RUMORS!! RUMORS!! RUMORS!!
Word on the street is that Fickle’s Lot of Ottawa is in the process of making a deal with JND Records. Is it true? Well, short answer: yes. The Lot has been capturing the Illinois Valley for the past couple of years, but lead singer Joe “Sweet Tooth” Galvin says that is “barely the tip of the iceberg for what we have in store.” Joe goes on to say that there will be a new album out early this summer and enough shows to fill a Hungry-Man including “a slot on some label showcase stages at Cornerstone.” In the meantime check them out at their showcase at the Joliet CYC on March 27th with friends Icon For Hire, Egon’s Unicat, Another Perfect Getaway, Go Dog Go, Winner Takes All and American Riot.

IT’S A ROBBERY!
(Again, we’re sorry, we love the exclamation point)

We asked the pipes behind It’s A Robbery a few questions about his band and some of life’s more important aspects because we really felt like it. Now we would like to share it with you.
Why did you change your name?
We decided to change our name for two reasons. One because of the recent line up change and we basically decided that it’s not the same band anymore. The second is the way our new songs sound and that new sound does not coincide with the particular sound of fear the mourning, and we think that’s important ya know. To distinguish what that was and what we are now, not saying better or worse just separate and independent.

Who is Skaggs?
That is the million dollar question isn’t it? Well the story goes like this: Save us Hollywood was in Newcastle, IN playing a show or in somewhere in god damn Indiana and Skaggs was basically just hanging out there I guess. And one day Save us Hollywood came to play a show and they basically just picked up Skaggs and never let him out and he ended up back here. Which seems unlikely and very laughable but it’s how it went down and he was dropped off here living with people here and there, landed a job at Applebee’s and now is probably more economically stable then all of us. And know he is playing bass for us which he wanted to do since I think the first time he heard of these guys, plus he was in a band in Indiana called Easy Come, Easy Go and that helped out with connecting with venues and setting up shows so we’re really happy with him.

Sir Howard Stringer did not immediately return phone calls on the topic. ................................................................................ ................................................................................ Is Fear the Mourning no longer together?

False!!!
Fear the Mourning is not over, quite the contrary. They have simply changed their name to It’s a Robbery! I don’t know if they use an exclamation point, but they should because robberies are serious business. They have also added a new bass player by the name of Skaggs. Check them out as soon as possible.

Did you record recently? Tell us about it.
Yes! Ha-ha. Yes we did. We recorded with our drummer’s (Brandon) dad at his studio in his redone garage and it really was a time. I mean recording is a long and arduous process and there’s a lot of waiting around and getting antsy in the pantsy, but it was actually really amazing to work musically with the members in my band and it wasn’t really just about what the guitars are going to do, it was really an open forum of what to do/what to sound like. A collective mindset on our particular sound and that’s just amazing it actually caught me off guard and I fuckin’ would love to go record everyday of my life if it were possible and plus it really bonds your relationship with the people in your band I mean your in there for like fucking 8 or 9 hours and it really doesn’t

seem that long because your having so much fun making music and loving what you’re doing; you’re creating something that has a certain emotion behind it and when it all gets pulled together you get this feeling of creation. It’s one of the best feelings in my mind anyone can feel and I really am happy that I had the opportunity to be a part of the whole process and a part of this band in all sincerity.

2/21/2009 9th St. Pub Continued

You are performing a robbery; do you prefer a shotgun, pistol or grenades?
Well as Valient Thorr says: “We already transcended through that military and macho-man randy savage aggression a long time ago. We don’t need no guns or missiles; we stop armies with our rock and roll. The only rocket launchers you need are on your arms,” and I think that fuckin’ sums it up.

Brainchild
Jedd Callahan: Brainchild flirted with having the best set ever. Terence O’Reilly: Then they played a second song. JC: If a dance party on the moon is like what we saw at the Pub, then remind me not to get a ticket on the first commercial flight to the moon. TO: Jazz hands, boot to the moon JC: All I could picture were people bouncing on the moon in shitty paisley space suits with helmets and they’re full of smoke, and everyone is holding hands and there are creatures around. TO: Boot to the moon, jazz hands. TO: What are your feelings on bass solos every five minutes? JC: If they are kept to less than one a song, then I'm all for them. TO: Their album was called One Word. What is the one word? JC: Well “moon party dance party” is four... TO: We missed Noise Guitar, Rebekah's Tape and The Visitations. JC: I'm sure they were all good.

Did Skaggs used to play bass for Rob Zombie in the mid90s?
Yes! Yes actually he did It’s actually really weird to think about it now but ya know were rocking with a celebrity here and I think his connections and influences with Rob (good man) is helping us out in the long run.

Who put the 'bop' in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?
Either Less than Jake or Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies

Did Roughneck get a DUI?
Jason Crisp I hope so.

What would your dream concert to play at be?
Most people would say at the legendary CBGB’s but ever since I laid my eyes on Australia and I saw the Sydney Opera House I was like fuck! Ha-ha. I need to go there and if there was anyway that would be possible and if for some reason we had millions of fans for some reason I would love, over anywhere else, to play there and see some shit.

On February 21st, 2009 there was a show at the Ninth Street Pub in LaSalle featuring a full night of music from Noise Guitar, Rebekah’s Tape, The Visitations, Family of Lightbulbs and Brainchild. The Locale caught up with a couple of birdies for their thoughts on the affair.

Emergency*!!!
Kevin Kramer has gone missing and endangered! The following release was faxed to the Walsh residence not long ago from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. If anyone has any information on Kevin’s whereabouts please contact the Locale immediately.

Family of Lightbulbs
Dwayne Bradley: The acoustic guitar player had no shoes on. Sam Rogan: Now he has AIDS. DB: Remember when the acoustic guy tried to start the jam and it didn't work? SR: Yes. DB: I heard they were on shrooms while they played. SR: I would never allow mushrooms on my pizza. DB: I pretty much picture a flower made of light bulbs that has smiley faces drawn on the bulbs with sharpie, but for some reason they are bouncing and it sounds likes this: “Umm... uhmm... mmm... mumm... mm... mmm...” SR: I picture the California Raisons as lightning bugs. DB: How come the dart game wasn't giving out any free games during their set? SR: God hates us. DB: I don't know why, but I feel like they might have played a Counting Crows cover. SR: Are you on shrooms? DB: Maybe I just hoped they would.

*For those of you who felt this joke (which was surprisingly not created by us) was too insensitive we hope you can take solace in knowing that William Montanez was found safe and sound two days after he was reported missing.

There’s a new band in the Illinois Valley and you better have some god damn change ready!!!
From how they like their pizza served to what it means to them to play music, senior analyst Mikl Vittone takes the reigns of guitarist/singer Dave Robinson to learn more about Ottawa’s new rock and roll heroes, The Illinois Tollway.
Who the hell is The Illinois Tollway? The Illinois Tollway is Greg Ratliff (drums), Chris Wilson (vocals), Matt Pittman (guitar and vocals), Tom Tom Harrington (bass guitar) and I, Dave Robinson (guitar and vocals). What is your favorite pizza to eat while jamming? Oh man. Tough question. Well a couple nights ago Tom Tom brought over a massive mushroom pizza from Sam's that was outstanding. Usually though, I'm kind of a pepperoni guy, tried and true. How is recording? Recording is a constant state of being for us. We've been demoing songs with my Roland VS-840 eight track recorder (circa 1995) since we got together, and we've since started tracking a number of others that way as well as a song with Nick Stetina {Vintage Powersource’s Seasons} up in St. Charles. We'll have some new products up for people to hear ASAP. When will the live shows start?? It also won't be long. We've been busting our asses to make our live set the best live set we're capable of, so when we've got that, we'll hit the circuit in the IV and the rest of Illinois/the Midwest. Are you any good at baseball? Back when I was like ten years old, I was a pitcher and I batted fourth. Music ruined my baseball career. What is the best line(s) of The Illinois Tollway lyrics so far? I can't speak for the rest of the dudes, but my favorite right now comes out of a song called "Stop It!" which states: "The only thing that I've collected in this time is that I'm just as obsessive as I'm lonely. So, you can go ahead and call your stupid friends. They're bound to tell you that I fuckin' hate you. "

Local Lyrics
Who: WorldWideRiot What: Cigarette Song
i got an ever lasting pack of cigarettes i put em in my pocket i got an ever lasting will to never quit i put em in my pocket i went to an acupuncture therapist she put em in my pocket i went to a hypnotist he put em in my pocket and everybody's tellin' me i better quit so i put em in my pocket little sister's telling me it smells like shit she puts em in my pocket i put her in my pocket

Visit their website for more lyrics, news and a music video for this song!!! http://www.lilypadrecords.com/wwr.htm Bonus, Seasonal Lyrics!!!
Spring Boobs by the Hong Kong Electric Company
After break I wake to head back to school It is sunny outside, but the wind is kind of cool Walking down the hallway smiles from ear to ear It’s my favorite time of year, it’s my favorite time... Cleavage! Cleavage! Cleavage! All the guys will stare! Cleavage! Cleavage! Cleavage! Boobies in the air! Springtime boobs are the best, sweaters I do detest You cannot hide that rack because you know spring boobs are back!

Select Upcoming Shows
3/14 3/14 3/14 3/19 3/19 3/20 3/21 3/21 3/27 3/27 3/28 Fickle’s Lot @ The Nite Lite Café Berwyn IL Egon’s Unicat w/ WorldWideRiot and Greyson @ ClubU21 Morris IL Green Genie @ Two Fools LaSalle IL Cloud Mouth Tour Kickoff w/ Lautrec @ Ronnie’s Chicago IL Edna’s VD w Bleeding Through @ Eagles II Milwaukee WI Cloud Mouth w/ Cougar Den @ Y-Not III Milwaukee, WI Fickle’s Lot @ ClubU21 Morris IL Schwill @ Uncle Stewy’s Cantina Spring Valley IL Cloud Mouth w/ Scout’s Honor @ Quenchers Chicago IL JND Records Showcase for Fickle’s Lot w/ Egon’s Unicat, Another Perfect Getaway, Icon For Hire, Go Dog Go, Winner Takes All @ TBA Schwill @ Two Fools LaSalle IL

What are your favorite bands/artists to listen to? Lately, I've been listening to Blackhawk's first album, Fourth of July's on the Plains and the CD Samadhi put out. My all time favorites, though, are Screeching Weasels’ Bark Like a Dog, The Anniversary's Your Majesty, Counting Crows' August and Everything After, and Weezer's Pinkerton. Is Vintage Powersource still a band? Vintage Powersource is still and will probably always be a band. I would say we're currently on a sabbatical. Where did the name The Illinois Tollway come from? Truthfully, The Illinois Tollway (Which came from I-294's most southwest terminal right before entering Indiana, stating "Thank you for using the Illinois Tollway") was really a place holder for a band name that all of us agreed on and wasn't taken. That band name never came. I really wanted to call the band "Lightnin' Bolt," but everyone else threatened to quit were that our band name. I enjoy Dr. Pepper quite a bit, how about you? Dr. Pepper is great! My family owned a Dr. Pepper franchise in Ottawa on the west side for years and years. I grew up on Dr. Pepper. Any goals for the band outside of making sweet, sweet music? We've all come to the conclusion that this might be the last chance we have to do this. Some of us are in school and all of us have lives and goals of our own outside of music that we'll eventually have to go pursue. We're all really proud of what we're doing with this band, and we're confident that the show goers and the listeners will be able to tell that this is sincere, honest music. We aren't out to bullshit people. We just want to tell stories and maybe play some guitar solos. Finish this sentence: The people that will most like us are _____? The people that will most like us are awesome! Is it okay that I am listening to Elton John's Alligator Rock right now? Absolutely! You've got to get a little Elton John up in this bitch. I approve.

4/03 4/11 4/18 4/25 4/25 5/01 5/02 5/03 5/16

Egon’s Unicat, The Pimps @ Marly’s Pub Springfield IL Egon’s Unicat, Fickle’s Lot @ Tully Monsters Rock House Morris IL Edna’s VD, Dutch Boy Frankenstein, Diamond of the Galaxy and more @ Sublette VFW Sublette IL Egon’s Unicat @ Ninth Street Pub LaSalle IL Allgood @ Illinois Brewing Company Bloomington IL Egon’s Unicat, The Pimps @ Otto’s DeKalb IL Green Genie @ Two Fools LaSalle IL Edna’s VD @ The House Café DeKalb IL Egon’s Unicat, The Pimps @ Ninth Street Pub LaSalle IL

If you choose to attend any of these shows (or any show for that matter) feel free to share your thoughts on the bands, the venue, the crowd, the food… whatever!!! Send it to the_locale@hotmail.com today! Don’t forget to check out our MySpace and individual band sites for more up-to-date information and listings.

Read the full Q&A on our MySpace Blog and Check out The Illinois Tollway at

http://www.myspace.com/theillinoistollway

TRUE STORY
by Tony Gruenwald Guy calls up the store I work at. We sell computers and fix them, along with some iPod work. Guy calls up the store and asks: "So... how do I get music on my iPod?" "Well, sir, you just hook it up to your computer and then you can download songs or upload songs from CD's onto the iPod." "You mean I gotta buy a 500 dollar computer now after spending 300 dollars on this iPod?" "Uhh... yes sir. Computer's the only way to get music on the iPod." "Well this is bullshit!!" Hangs up. Should of told him that if he presses a CD really hard against the iPod that the music will soak into the machine. But you have to hold down hard for at least twenty minutes or you won't get all the songs. True story.

Make St. Patty’s Day Delicious
If you are like me, then you are incredibly lazy when it comes to preparing meals. Seriously though, why would you want to spend hours upon hours kneading dough and experimenting with spices (honestly has that ever worked out good for someone?) when you could just eat a turkey Lunchables and go see Jimmy Essl rock at Bulldogs or Vinnie’s? If this sounds all too similar to you then no worries; I have a solution and trust me, it is somehow delicious.

1 loaf serves 8-10
Ingredients 2 1/2 cups self rising flour 12 ounces beer (the better the beer, the better the bread) 2 tablespoons sugar Directions 1. Hand mix all ingredients only until well mixed. 2. Put mixture into a greased loaf pan. 3. Preheat your oven to 375º F degrees. 4. Bake for 45 minutes. Here are some suggestions for a more festive choice of brew: Beamish Stout Murphy’s Irish Red Guinness Draught Kilkenny Irish O’Hara’s Celtic Stout Harp Lager Murphy’s Irish Amber

Lazy Irish Beer Bread

OVERHEARD HILARITY
“It’s not even a Double Decker. All they really did was take two Moonpies and stack them on top of each other.” -Sean Walsh on Double Decker Moonpies “I love sports more than... yeah... more than my parents.” -Dice


				
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