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COMMON MYTHS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY

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					                        MYTHS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY

MYTH #1 GOD HATES HOMOSEXUALS.

The myth that God hates homosexuals is expressed by people who are often
found waving signs at gay events that say “God hates fags!”, “Thank God for
AIDS!” and other hateful slogans. The truth is that God loves homosexuals.
One of the most familiar verses in Scripture affirms, “For God so loved the world
that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish
but have eternal life” (John 3:16). It is true that God hates homosexual sin, but
whether we are homosexual sinners or heterosexual sinners, Jesus loves us,
gave his life for our sins, and offers us the free gift of eternal life if we will repent
and believe the gospel. The church in Corinth clearly included former
homosexuals. After listing many sins that will exclude a person from the kingdom
of God, including “male prostitutes” and “homosexual offenders,” Paul writes,
“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified,
you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our
God” (1 Cor. 6:11).

Christians who have been cleansed from their homosexual sin will usually have a
long journey ahead of them in seeking to resolve the psychological and spiritual
issues behind their attractions. But they will know that the Lord loves them
regardless of their particular temptations and will walk along with them in their
recovery process.

We must make clear to our homosexual friends, loved ones, and the homosexual
community that we love them, and that God loves them, but that God loves them
too much to permit them to follow a lifestyle that will ultimately destroy them for
time and eternity. The cross of Jesus Christ is the eternal sign that God does
hate sin, but He loves sinners and passionately desires their salvation.

MYTH #2 GOD APPROVES OF SOME HOMOSEXUAL PARTNERSHIPS.

A myth being promoted by some even within the church today is that God in the
Bible approves of certain homosexual partnerships. It is argued that the
creation account in Genesis, chapters 1-2 does not explicitly prohibit
homosexual, committed partnerships, that love is supreme and would justify a
loving homosexual relationship, and that Jesus never said anything against
homosexuality.

However, to suggest that the Genesis creation account allows for homosexual
partnerships is not only an “argument from silence” (which is always dangerous),
but it contradicts the very essence of the passage. It is here that God is
providing the blueprint for His good gift of human sexuality. After the Lord had
created Adam, He indicated that it was “not good for the man to be alone.” To
meet Adam‟s need, the Lord created Eve as Adam‟s “suitable helper.” The
woman was made from the man and then returned to him as a perfect
complement – the same, yet wonderfully different, offering both physical and
psychological union with the potential for creating new life. The Bible announces,
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). There is absolutely no
suggestion that any other relationship would qualify for God‟s blessing. In fact,
from Genesis to Revelation the goodness of heterosexual, monogamous, lifetime
marriage is lauded, while all homosexual relationships are condemned.

The argument that love is supreme and therefore can override God‟s natural and
moral order as revealed in Scripture is also a fallacy. God‟s moral directives are
the channel through which love flows. When love overflows the banks, it become
destructive. In Paul‟s great love chapter he writes, “And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians. 13:13).
However, far from promoting love at the expense of moral standards, Paul a few
chapters earlier wrote, “It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so
much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own
husband” (1 Corinthians 7:1-2). That is the Genesis blueprint.

The appeal to the fact that the Gospels do not record a statement by Jesus
prohibiting homosexual behavior is also misguided. Once again, it is an
“argument from silence.” Jesus is also not recorded as saying anything about
incest, rape, bestiality, genocide etc., but would anyone want to argue that they
are therefore acceptable? In addition, when Jesus was asked a question in the
area of human sexuality, He refers His questioners right back to the Genesis
blueprint – one man and one women in a lifetime relationship (Matthew 19:3-6).
Surely He would have done the same had He been presented with a question
about homosexual partnerships.

MYTH #3 HOMOSEXUALS DELIBERATELY CHOOSE THEIR
ATTRACTIONS.

A myth believed by many is that homosexuals simply choose their
attractions to people of the same sex. The solution, then, appears to be that
homosexuals should just choose not to feel that way! In reality, this makes
about as much sense as to say that heterosexual people just choose their
attractions to the opposite sex and might be able to choose not to feel that way!

Every child has a God-given need to receive affirmation and affection from same-
sex people, beginning with the same-sex parent and including same-sex relatives
and peers. The result is that the child bonds with such people, fits in, and feels
good about his or her own gender. Eventually, when puberty arrives, the young
person sees the opposite sex as interesting and begins to feel sexual attractions.
However, if the child has emotionally detached from same-sex people because
he has felt rejected –for real or simply perceived reasons – he is left with a
legitimate longing for same-sex acceptance and affection. Then at puberty, this
unfulfilled longing becomes sexualized. Now the young person discovers that
his or her desire for same-sex friends has become a desire for sexual intimacy –
something God never intended to happen and which usually horrifies the young
person. This so-called homosexual “orientation” is simply there, not something
consciously and deliberately chosen.

It is true that there is a chosen part in homosexuality. The chosen part is what
the homosexually oriented person does with the feelings. If he deliberately
chooses to engage his will and fantasize about sexual things or visually indulge
himself through pornographic images or people, he is lusting (Matt. 5:27-28),
which is sin. Or, if a person chooses to engage in homosexual behavior with
other people, he or she is sinning. But to simply feel unchosen sexual attractions
to another person of the same (or opposite) sex is not sin for the child of God –
unless he or she chooses to act upon it. This distinction between unchosen
feelings and chosen behavior is critical for understanding the homosexual
situation.

MYTH #4 HOMOSEXUALS ARE CONDEMNED BY GOD FOR THEIR
ATTRACTIONS.

A myth embraced by many Christians is that homosexuals are condemned by
God simply for their same-sex attractions. (This myth is often based upon the
prior myth that homosexuals simply choose their attractions and are guilty for so
doing.) Tragically, many Christians who are troubled by homosexual feelings
believe this myth and feel that they are alienated from God because of their
feelings alone. They pray desperately for God to remove the feelings, and when
He doesn‟t miraculously do that, they are convinced that they are hopeless and
might as well enter the gay life.

People who uncritically believe that homosexuals are condemned for their
feelings never stop to think that by that measure they too are condemned for
their feelings. For example, if they are sexually attracted to someone who is not
their spouse, they should conclude that they are sinning. In fact, by this
measure, if they feel an inclination toward anything that would be sin if yielded to,
they are guilty already just for the feeling. In other words, temptation has
become sin – even if we don‟t yield to it! This would be a desperate state to be in
– especially in light of the Bible‟s statement that “no one who is born of God will
continue to sin … he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God!”
(1 John 3:9).

Temptation is not sin. What we do with it determines whether or not we sin. If a
homosexually inclined person chooses to fantasize about sex with another
person or actually engages in it, he or she is sinning. This is also true for the
heterosexual! If he chooses to fantasize sexually about a person who is not his
spouse, or actually engages in sexual activity, he is sinning – no more or less
than the homosexual.
It is true, of course, that we are all born with a sinful nature and under
condemnation. According to the Bible, we all are sinners – not only because we
sin, but because we are sinful by nature (Ephesians 2:3). We not only sin like
our father Adam, we sinned in Adam in some mysterious sense, resulting in an
inheritance of guilt and pollution quite apart from our individual willful sin
(Romans 5:12-19). In this sense, until we are connected with Christ by faith and
covered by His blood, all of the inclinations toward sin that arise from our own
sinful natures are condemned by God. However, for the believer in Christ, the
promptings of our sinful nature and the psychological distortions which result
constitute temptation, not sin for which we are condemned – whether we are
heterosexual or homosexual by inclination!

MYTH #5 HOMOSEXUALS ARE BORN THAT WAY.

A popular myth believed by many in society and the church today is that
homosexuals are born that way. Gay advocates have done a remarkably
effective job of promoting this myth in an age where scientists reign as high
priests and their pronouncements on any subject are received uncritically as
truth.

The truth is that there is NO scientific evidence that there is a “gay gene” or that
anyone is born gay. The National Association for Research and Therapy of
Homosexuality in a recent fact sheet states, “There is no evidence that shows
that homosexuality is genetic. And none of the research claims there is. Only
the press and certain researchers do when speaking in sound bites to the public.”

At the same time, a number of interesting studies in the past decade have
attempted to demonstrate that, while there is no evidence of a gay gene, there
might be some type of genetic influence toward homosexuality in some people.
This would not mean that they are born homosexual, but that it would be easier
for them to become homosexual in orientation IF certain environmental factors
are present. However, none of these studies with the more modest claims has
survived the scrutiny of other researchers or been replicated by another group of
scientists, as is necessary if a study is to be credible.

It is important that research continue. Since we live in a fallen world, genetic
brokenness is part of our lot, as has been demonstrated in certain physical
disorders. If there is a direct genetic component to the homosexual inclination, it
would be interesting to know it. However, even if there were a genetic element in
some people that tilted them toward homosexuality, 1) it would not result in a
homosexual orientation without certain environmental factors being present, 2) it
would not change God‟s mind about the sinfulness of acting on that
disorientation, and 3) it would not change the fact that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!

MYTH #6 HOMOSEXUALS CAN’T CHANGE.
Many people, even those who profess belief in a God for whom “all things are
possible,” have adopted the current myth that homosexuals can’t change! The
truth is that homosexual people can change! Thousands are experiencing
transformation, in spite of the politically driven positions taken by professional
mental health associations which discourage suffering people from seeking or
receiving help.

Through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the power of the Holy Spirit,
and commitment to hard work, men and women are finding a new identity as
“child of God” to replace the old identity of “gay” or “lesbian,” or “homosexual.”
They are finding freedom from the bondage of addictive behaviors and
emotionally twisted relationships. And many who are willing to persist in the
process of change are discovering a gradual diminishing of homosexual
attractions and awakening of healthy heterosexual inclinations.

The journey to freedom from homosexuality will involve, 1) establishing a
personal relationship with Jesus; 2) fellowship in a dynamic church that
proclaims truth and expresses godly love; 3) breaking sinful same-sex
relationships; 4) developing healthy, nonerotic or emotionally dependent,
SAME-sex relationships; 4) addressing common roots such as rejection, envy,
self-pity, unforgiveness, rebellion, etc.; 5) experiencing inner healing for
traumatic events of the past such as sexual abuse, negative labeling,
experiences of rejection, sexual sin, etc.; 6) renewing the mind by replacing lies
with God‟s truth; 7) and finding release from any demonic strongholds that may
exist.

Can homosexuals change? YES! As one young man put it, “ It wasn‟t until I
reached the age of 20 that I finally learned how I could be healed…. As a result,
I am today healed and fully secure in my heterosexual identity…. God has
restored my masculinity, and it is so wonderful to be well! There are countless
people who need this kind of healing, but they go unhelped because of the sad
lack of knowledge in the church today. Truly as the Bible says, „My people are
destroyed for lack of knowledge.‟”

MYTH #7 HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR IS THE WORST SIN.

Many Christians by their attitude appear to believe the myth that homosexual
sin is practically unpardonable, or at least worse than all other sin. Other
Christians, in a reaction to that view, adopt another myth, the myth that all sins
are the same, and a homosexual sin is no worse than a sin of gossip.

It is always difficult and dangerous to attempt to list sins according to their degree
of seriousness, since the nature of sin, plus factors such as circumstances,
motivations and effects vary. In one sense, all sins are equal in that they deserve
eternal separation from God. The Bible‟s statement, “For the wages of sin is
death…” (Romans 6:23), applies to all sin -- whether in thought, word, or deed –
from a deliberate lustful fantasy to an act of adultery.

At the same time, stealing a loaf of bread is vastly different than murdering a
million people. The Bible itself treats some sins as more serious than others. In
the Old Testament, the Law required restitution for a theft and execution for
some other sins. In the New Testament, Jesus told Pilate that “the one who
handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin” (John 19:11; see also
Matt.11:23-24 and Luke 12:47-48). He also reserved His most fierce
denunciations for the pride and unbelief of the religious leaders, not for the
sexually immoral (Matt. 23:13-36). However, immoral sexual behavior is
described as being a sin against ones own body in a special sense, since the
body is the “temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor. 6:18-20). In Romans, chapter 1
homosexual behavior is hi-lighted, not necessarily because it was the worst sin in
the long list, but because it so clearly illustrated how far from God‟s created
design the human race has gone in its rebellion.

In short, we should neither maximize nor minimize homosexual behavior as sin.
Our focus should be on extending the love and grace of God to homosexual
offenders, who, apart from Christ‟s salvation, are doomed to eternal destruction 
along with all the rest of us sinners.

MYTH #8:     PARENTS ARE TO BLAME FOR HOMOSEXALITY

Parents are a prime target for blame whenever something goes wrong with their
children – especially when that “something” is homosexuality. Since parents are
usually only too well aware that they haven‟t gotten everything right, they often
readily accept the blame, along with the full load of shame, guilt, and regret.

One common understanding of homosexual development readily lends itself to a
“blame the parents” position. It sees the core problem as a child‟s failure to
identify positively with the same-sex parent. This occurs because the child fails
to experience an affectionate and/or gender affirming relation with the same-sex
parent in the process of growing up. As a result, the child detaches from the
same-sex parent, but retains a longing for identification that becomes sexualized
at puberty. In addition, the child may become too closely identified with the
opposite-sex parent, taking on mannerisms of that parent instead of the same-
sex parent.

This theory in its various forms is very helpful both for understanding the
development of homosexuality and for finding freedom from it. However, it does
not need to result in a “blame the parents” position. There are a number of
reasons. For example, the basic detachment is understood to take place within
the child‟s first few years. It may be triggered by the parent‟s absence, often for
legitimate reasons such as illness or work, which the child INTERPRETS as
abandonment. Other things completely outside the parents‟ control or
knowledge, such as peer rejection and sexual abuse, may happen to a child
which contribute to the development of homosexuality. Children also may
UNINTENTIONALLY contribute by sinful responses to real or perceived sins
against them – responses such as bitterness, unforgiveness, self-pity, rebellion,
etc.

Can parents CONTRIBUTE to the development of homosexuality in their
children? Yes. Parents have such a powerful influence on their children‟s
development that few things can go right or wrong without their having a hand in
it. Do parents CAUSE homosexuality in their children? No.

Where parents recognize that they may have contributed, there is grace and
forgiveness from the Lord -- and, usually, if requested, from the child. The
burden of real or false guilt, shame, and remorse needs to be rolled off on the
Burden Bearer who paid for it all at the cross. No parent gets it all right – and
only the sin of pride makes us think that we could have! As someone facetiously
has said, “God was the perfect parent, and look what happened to His kids!”

MYTH #9: TEN PERCENT OF THE POPULATION IS GAY

The myth that 10 percent of the American population is gay has gained wide
acceptance due to constant repetition by gay advocates in the popular media.
The purpose of popularizing a figure like this is that it tends to make gay behavior
appear widespread, normal, and deserving of acceptance.

The origin of the 10 percent figure is in the work of Alfred Kinsey published in
1948. Kinsey‟s research was badly flawed. Twenty-five percent of those he
surveyed were former or current prison inmates. The prison population would
include a higher proportion of homosexuals than the general population because
in the 1940s people were incarcerated for homosexual behavior. Even at that,
the 10 percent was a misrepresentation, since in Kinsey‟s study it represented
only the number of men who had been predominantly homosexual for a period of
up to three years between the ages of 16 and 65. The number of those
professing a lifetime homosexual preference was 4 percent for men and about 2
percent for women.

More than a dozen recent studies, using more accurate evidence-gathering
techniques, consistently put the incidence of homosexual practice at around 1
percent. One careful analysis of the current data is contained in chapter 6 of the
book Straight & Narrow by Thomas E. Schmidt (InterVarsity Press, 1995). In
answer to the question about what percentage of the population consistently
desires or practices homosexual relations, he responds that the data “provide an
estimate that of the approximately 6 percent who experience same-sex relations
ever, the number of currently active homosexuals is 0.6-0.7 percent of the U.S.
adult population.”
While the popularly quoted figure of 10 percent for active homosexuals is in
reality about 1 percent, this still represents a large number of people! If all the
family members and friends who are impacted were to be added, the number of
people affected, thousands of them within our churches, is staggering. Surely,
we need to listen to the Lord‟s call for compassion, evangelism, and ministry in a
much neglected harvest field – unless, this is, as one author‟s book title
suggests, the “Unwanted Harvest




    Eagles‟ Wings, PO Box 11246, Minneapolis, MN 55412, (612)781-4110,
                           www.ewm.org, 2001

				
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