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					       Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
              ...ok, perhaps not asked that frequently, but still...

           Q1. Why the Isles of Scilly?       A1. See the “deleted scenes” movie.

           Q2. We loved the band!
            Who were they and how did you find them?

                A2. The “Six Wet Fish”. Never having set foot on a Scilly Isle in
                 our lives before going there to get married it was just as well we
                 knew how to use telephones and the internet! After several weeks
                of determinedly phoning around and talking to various people, as
              well as some intensive Googling we eventually tracked Nick (the Head
              Fish) down to his Mincarlo guesthouse
(01720 422513, www.mincarlo-ios.co.uk).


Q3. Can we have details about your dinner-dance reception venue?

A3. Of course! It was held at Sage House (which
we can now very highly recommend) on St. Mary‟s.
Contact Sabine, the owner, by phone    01720 422440
or via www.scillyguesthouse.co.uk Sabine is an
amazing person – what a find! Just watch the movie
of our party at her house and look at the set-up
and catering (that she organised to Fern‟s exact
specification   and   beyond)    plus   all   the
accommodation and hospitality she laid on then
judge for yourself!!!

(We discovered Sabine after Miriam booked a
room there. Thanks Miriam – real serendipity, and
a great relief after our all our struggles and frustrations
with every other local venue we‟d considered then given up on).

Q4. Go on, I bet you‟re dying to tell us something about the cake and we‟d love
to hear out about the bike you‟re both riding away on! How on earth did you
manage to organise all that?

           A4. Yes, the cake... well, Fern took charge of all the rest of the food
        but left Barry to organise the cake. When it comes to weddings he‟s
        really keen on a top-quality, properly iced, traditional rich fruit cake
         (specially handmade to order at least two months, though preferably
         longer, before delivery). This is particularly important, he says, for
        wedding cakes in general, and absolutely vital for ours! What a fuss-pot!

        However after some thought and quite a lot of discussion we agreed that
most people would probably prefer fresh chocolate cream sponge on the day. That
gave us quite a problem because Barry also felt it essential to have a substantial
three-tier wedding cake with proper traditional classical pillars between each
layer; He wouldn‟t have any of those metal or heavy duty wire framed shelving
arrangements – all a terrible æsthetic compromise in his opinion, ugh!

Now fruit cake is of course heavy whereas fresh cream sponge is soft and, well,
spongy. Everyone he asked (and that was quite a few over a number of weeks and a
lot of phone calls around the country) said it simply wouldn‟t work. Eventually he
found a very patient and creative lady (Jackie Jarvis, www.jackiescakes.co.uk
01726 861354) who was willing to face the challenge.

They discussed it over the phone and she emailed him a variety of proposals. He
emailed back with counter-proposals and included engineering diagrams for various
possible ways of supporting the heavy layers over the sponge (for example by
carefully drilling through clear acrylic plates, screwing or gluing extra long
dowels to them to go all the way through the sponge to the base bellow, slipping
hollow readymade pillars over the dowels etc). She patiently corrected and refined
his plans and solved all the remaining structural problems.
It turned out Jackie was also artistic and creative; she was willing and able to
make more or less anything we liked for the “topper”.

Ideally we‟d have liked to actually ride off together on the bike after the
            reception, but of course being on a small island (and trying to get to
                 another small island near by) that wasn‟t a very practical plan.
                 Anyhow, having us riding around on the top of the cake on our
                  bike seemed a much better idea.

                 After plenty of discussion over the phone with Jackie we emailed
                 her a few photos of ourselves and the bike. We also gave her the
                  registration number and asked if we could have Fern holding a
                      small suitcase with “just married” written on
                       it. We also requested a few tin cans tied on
                       and trailing behind in the age-old custom!

                       We hadn‟t finalised our wedding outfits (the
                       clothes we were going to wear on the day)
till about three weeks before hand, though had known roughly
what we‟d have. Once we had our clothes we dressed up in them,
took more photos, emailed those to Jackie then crossed our
fingers and waited. Jackie put the finishing touches to the
“topper” (then emailed some photos to me for approval – but Fern
didn‟t want to know what it looked like till she saw it on the
day). Barry ended up looking a bit Indian (and Tony was very proud of him
for it!) but even so we all agreed the finished result was brilliant.

Getting the cake and its topper to the island was no mean feat. Even though Jackie
is based in Cornwall she still had to drive all the way to Penzance (stopping on
the way to buy all the fresh cream and punnets of strawberries we needed, plus she
made and brought all the flower table arrangements and most of the button-holes),
                took the ferry to St. Marys (an unusually rough crossing for the
                time of year, and much delayed, in heavy seas and she had three
                large heavy, delicate cakes and boxes and bags of other stuff to
                carry around everywhere on her own), got everything to Sage
                House, setup the cake, stayed overnight then another ferry trip
                and a long drive home.

The cake was beautiful, the topper amazing, the flowers lovely, the chocolate
sponge and strawberries a huge success. We haven‟t cut the fruit cake yet (but
might have done by the time you read all this). We‟re planning to distribute
slices from the middle layer. We‟ll save the top layer (the smallest one, but
still big enough) for an important celebration one day to come...

Based on everything else she did we‟re sure Jackie‟s fruit cake (especially now
it‟s properly aged) will be spectacular!

We‟d never heard of Jackie before finding her website & phoning, yet she did so
much for us! Jackie was wonderful and we’re incredibly grateful to her.

Q5.   Fish & lobsters for dinner.    Was it caught locally?

A5. The lobsters most certainly were! Following Sabine‟s excellent suggestion we
had 6 of them (perhaps to go with our “wet fish”!). They were caught in the
morning. Wonderfully cooked and dressed for us that afternoon by Sabine, and eaten
that very night. Remarkably fresh & truly scrumptious!

Although the end result was almost as fresh and just as delicious actually getting
seafood & fish to the table was a very different story: You‟d have thought being
on an island that they caught fish locally which you could buy extra fresh, cook
and eat. There is still some fairly local fishing but their catches are limited
and anyhow whatever they do catch is almost all sold on the mainland.

Having research this well in advance Fern therefore arranged for fish to be
freshly “picked” & couriered down the country from a quayside far away, via
Lancashire(!) the day before. It was then to be flown by helicopter to St. Mary‟s
ready for preparation in good time for dinner. After going through this plan
several times with all concerned everything then initially wrong “on the day” with
the fish missing its flight, getting lost, confusing everyone but then, happily
(and after several anxious phone calls) turning up at the last minute.
Needles to say the fish were wonderful (mmm) and not a lot was left after dinner!
[See www.redsnapperseafoods.co.uk/ for details. Their fish are excellent, nice
people too, and normally superb service. We recommend them].

Q6. Who chose the   rings? Did it all go smoothly (ok, silly question)? What‟s
engraved in them?

A6. Ha, ha, yes... the rings... well, Fern didn‟t have the slightest trouble
buying a wonderful ring for Barry. (Yellow gold, single tiny diamond, perfect
weight, perfect size... lovely). The same certainly could not be said of Barry‟s
purchase for Fern (now there’s a surprise)!

                              Barry had bought Fern a very nice engagement ring a
                              couple of years ago from an old fashioned local
                               jewellers (F.P.Turner & Sons of Surbiton). She
                               loved it so he thought he‟d go back and ask them
                                to make her wedding ring, too. Of course he‟d
                                designed it himself and took a few sketches to
                                 show them. He explained exactly what was wanted,
                                 how it should look and what it was to be made
                                  of... fine white gold (18 carat) with a special
                                  design featuring three diamonds       set in a
                                   slightly abstract (and of course unique) swirly
                                   pattern    that  could  be   “read”  differently
                                    according to which way round you looked at it -
                                    symbolising (amongst other things) her year of
                                     birth and marriage.

                                    “Not a problem” they said, “leave it with us”.
                            They had claimed would be ready to inspect, prior to
                 setting, assay and polishing, in about 2 - 3 weeks. They said
       they‟d call to advise. Having heard nothing from them after 3 weeks Barry
phoned – they made excuses and asked for another week. The same thing happened the
second time he called a week later. The third time Barry went in to see them and
they claimed the ring was unavailable as it was being assayed. Barry pointed out
that he hadn‟t even seen it yet to check the design and they‟d promised not to set
the stones till he‟d approved it. They tried to explain it all away. He asked to
see the manager or jeweller. Nobody was available. Barry left in a sceptical mood.

After several phone calls and a couple more visits to     try and find out what was
happening Barry was getting worried as the wedding was    now only a few weeks away.
He therefore asked for his money back (he‟d paid a        deposit on confirming the
order). They initially refused but after a big fuss did   pay-up.

Barry also wanted to complain; after all they‟d messed him around badly by
claiming they could make the ring in time and to his specification (and even
documented their claim in detail on his order receipt) when clearly they couldn‟t.
He now had his deposit back but still didn‟t have the ring. He felt let down and
worried as there wasn‟t much time left before the wedding. They weren‟t remotely
interested so Barry left dissatisfied but at least he had got his deposit back.

On returning to our office he decided to “google” them to see if he could find out
who owned the company so he could escalate his complaint. To his great surprise he
discovered that Kingston Magistrates had fined them £8,000 in 2004 under the Trade
Descriptions Act for misrepresentation and that indeed there were several other
cases where they‟d either misled or greatly disappointed customers. He also found
that the firm of F.P.Turner and Sons was in the process of being sold to new
owners. He even managed to get their name and number! (It‟s amazing what you can
find via Google if you look).

A phone call to the new owners (and a brief discussion not only of his complaint
but awareness of the recent Trading Standards case) resulted in an urgent meeting
at their request! The meeting led to an offer of compensation (they didn‟t want
F.P.Turner back in court, especially over a wedding ring which would probably have
been just too embarrassing for them).

Being a kind hearted soul Barry didn‟t want to exploit their predicament (even
though it might have been tempting); for a second conviction within 4 years the
company faced a far larger fine and possible ruin, but Barry realised the new
owners had only just taken over and were not the same as the people in the shop
who‟d let him down. He therefore felt it wouldn‟t have been fair to push it so
surprised them by accepting their apologies and suggesting a far smaller sum in
compensation than was apparently on offer – just enough to be able to pay the
extra need to get a different (but hopefully rather more competent and vastly more
reliable) jeweller (Gerald O'Neill in Castle Street) capable of real craftsmanship
and able to get the job done super-fast and ready in time for the wedding.

                        Gerald had Fern‟s wedding ring made with great skill by
                        hand from solid gold wire drawn in the selected cross-
                        section (Court-D), cut to length, joined, accurately
                        drilled twice for each stone to create the settings then
                        deeply engraved for the design around
                        the stones which were then set.

The ring was assayed at the Goldsmiths Office in Greville Street
for testing and hallmarking (being urgent it was couriered there
and back and rushed through the whole process to save time). It
was then polished and finally engraved by Gerald in Kingston
together with Barry‟s ring (incidentally both rings rather aptly
say “Somehow!” as well as “20 St. Martins 08” either side of their hallmarks).

                  All this (for the Mark II ring) in just 2½ weeks and exactly to
                  Barry‟s design!

                  We got the rings back, engraved and sparkling, a few days before
                  we headed to The Isles for our Big Day.



Q7. I know it‟s covered it in the Dinner film but remind me about the Fireworks.
A7. Sure; it took more than little organising and effort to ensure we could launch
a few fireworks to celebrate our wedding...

Alan was in charge of setting them off for us (and a fine
job he did of it too). There were just 3 "multi-shot cakes"
each in it's own box...

We‟d needed to obtain prior permission from;
1. The Town Hall
2. The Fire Department
3. The Police
4. The Coast Guard (who wanted to know the
   time, duration, date & type of display,
   average deployment height, range & colours)
5. The Neighbouring land owner whose field we used.
   She wasn't keen at first, but did kindly
   consent in the end).

To respect the sensitivity of the site we'd been told to avoid anything even
moderately loud, high, bright or explosive.

Getting these fireworks to the island wasn't easy as they're not allowed on
planes, let alone helicopters and there are strict handling & maritime insurance
issues on ferries....

                            Even buying them had been rather difficult mainly
                            because the Beijing Olympics two weeks earlier (yes,
                            8/8/8) had created a world-wide firework shortage!
                            [The opening of the new Atlantis resort in Dubai, due
                            in November, was apparently responsible for depleting
                            the world of any remaining firework production in
                            2008 not already taken by the Olympics].

                            Despite all that it had been fun and, we felt, well
                            worth the trouble!

Incidentally; Alan started launching the fireworks as planned just after 9pm
British Summer Time. More precisely at 20:08 GMT, on 20/08/2008.
Q8. What happened to George? Film 4 (documenting activities & adventures on
the IoS) is over 6 minutes 30 seconds long yet there isn‟t a single photo of
George after the first 2 minutes and 41 seconds. Not even going home on the
helicopter. Why‟s that?

A8. For George‟s 16th birthday we bought him a Reading Music Festival ticket, so he
dashed off on the 1st helicopter out the next day, then took a train back to London
then on to Reading to join his friends for a few hectic days of camping and
music... what a summer he had!

Q9. The Bridal bouquet? A9. It was created by Carole
in Kingston-on-Thames to Fern‟s specification a few days
before we went. Stored in the dark in a very special
(and well thought out) container by her, complete with
cold packs. Transported (by car) all the way to Cornwall
by Sandy and Tony. Helicopter over to the Islands the
day before. Wonderful on the day.

This unusual bouquet consisted of red viburnum (Fern
thought “berry” sounded like “Barry”), white lilies
(because Barry likes them) them, blue statice (because
Fern likes them) and of course ferns for Fern!

A very big THANKS to Carole Martin, as well as to Sandy and Tony. [Call Carole
on 020 8255 7205 if you‟d like to order any flowers from her for any occasion].

Q9. Fern’s Reading?       A9. As part of the wedding ceremony Fern read a poem by
Louise Cuddon called “I‟ll be there”. The original is quite easy to find. Here‟s
Fern‟s slightly personalised and customised version (with apologies to Louise);

I‟ll be there, my darling,                  To be crooks in disguise
Through thick and through thin              When the food that you most like
When your mind is a mess                    Brings you out in red rashes
When your head‟s in a spin                  When as soon as you boot up
When your bike just won‟t start             The bloody thing crashes
When they cancel your train                 When you work extra hard
When life is just threatening               On your building designs
To drive you insane                         Then you find the dear Council
When your thrilling whodunit                Permission declines
Has lost its last page                      When you gaze at the stars
When somebody tells you                     And step on a nail
You‟re looking your age                     When you know you‟ll succeed
When your coffee‟s too weak                 But, somehow, you fail
And your tea is too strong                  When your instincts tell you
When the forecast said „Fine‟               You‟ll have a good day
But they got it all wrong                   So you plan a great outing
When you ordered a Korma                    But the kids say „No way‟
And they serve you Madras                   So my darling, my sweetheart,
When you wake in the night                  my dear...
And are sure you smell gas                  When you spill your beer
When our deluxe hotel                       When you shed a tear
Is more like a slum                         When you burn the toast
And your holiday photos                     When you miss the post
Show you so glum                            When you lose the plot
When you park for five minutes              When I‟m all you‟ve got
In a resident‟s bay                         When you break a rule
And return to discover                      When you act the fool
There‟s a big fine to pay                   When you‟ve got the flu
When the jeans that I bought you            When you‟re in a stew
In hope or in haste                         When you‟re last in the queue
Stick on your hips                          Don‟t feel blue
And won‟t reach round your waist            „Cause I‟m telling you
When the dentist looks into                 I‟ll be there
Your mouth and just sighs                   I‟ll be there
When our tenants turn out                   I‟ll be there for you.
Q10. What did Barry read, and why?       A10. It was Fern who‟d reminded Barry how
fond he was of Pooh bear (which his mother had read him as a child). Therefore,
with Fern in mind he read a short extract from “Now We Are Six” by A.A.Milne;

       Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
       There's always Pooh and Me.
       Whatever I do, she wants to do,
       "Where are you going today?" says Pooh...
       "Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.
       "Let's go together," says Pooh, says she.
       "Let's go together," says Pooh.

       "What's twice eleven?" I said to Pooh,
       "Twice what?" said Pooh to Me.
       "I think it ought to be twenty two."
       "Just what I think myself," said Pooh.
       "It wasn't an easy sum to do,
       But that's what it is," said Pooh, said she.
       "That's what it is," said Pooh.

       "Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.
       "Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.
       We crossed the river and found a few...
       "Yes, those are dragons all right," said Pooh.
       "As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
       That's what they are," said Pooh, said she.
       "That's what they are," said Pooh.

       "Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.
       "That's right," said Pooh to Me.
       "I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,
       And I held her paw and I shouted "Shoo!
       Silly old dragons!"... and off they flew.
       "I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said she,
       "I'm never afraid with you."

       So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
       There's always Pooh and Me.
       "What would I do?" I said to Pooh,
       "If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said... "True,
       It isn't much fun for One, but Two
       Can stick together," says Pooh, says she.
       "That's how it is," says Pooh.


Q11. I really like some of   the music!     Where can I get it from?
A11. Ask Barry – he might be able to help you.

Q12. Were your   Wedding Vows      standard?
A12. Of course    not! We had a bit of a correspondence with the Registrar who‟d
kindly sent us    a couple of templates and examples. There were “standard” words
that had to be   there then there were lots of optional wordings and even bits you
could make up    yourself (with the bounds of deemed good taste and decency, I
suppose).

The funny thing was there were some standard words that Barry really didn‟t like
and asked to be changed. In particular he didn‟t like the ceremony starting off
with the Registrar announcing “This place in which you are now met has been duly
sanctioned according to the law for the celebration of marriages”. He said it
sounded clumsy and he though the grammar was wrong. The Registrar was really
helpful and agreed to change all sorts of things but insisted that some of those
words had been written into the very laws of the land and simply couldn‟t be
changed without invalidating the marriage!

Barry patiently and relentlessly persisted and he was eventually vindicated when
the Registrar finally confirmed that she could after all agree to use his modified
(in his opinion corrected) form of words! She even went to the trouble of checking
the relevant authorities who arbitrate over these things to make sure that the
marriage would still be valid. They agreed it would still be perfectly valid. We
were all so pleased!
It‟s quite possible that Barry has never entered into any sort of contract or
agreement in his life (and perhaps never will, either) without at least managing
to change some part of it first!
Here an outline of the whole ceremony including our vows as well as all the
words we used, with notes on readings and music;

     (Music as guests assemble – Andante Cantabile from Paganini violin and guitar sonata No.12)
     (Music – “Here comes the Bride”, Joe Bongiorno solo piano)

     Introduction (Superintendent Registrar)

     This place in which you are now meeting is duly sanctioned according to the law for
     the celebration of marriages.   You are here to witness the joining in matrimony of
     Barry Richard Selwyn
      and Phloen (pronounced “Plern”) Wongman     If any person present knows of any
     lawful impediment to this marriage, he should declare it now.
     The purpose of marriage is that you may always love, care for and support each other
     through all the joys and sorrows of life and that your love may be fulfilled in a
     relationship of permanent and continuing commitment.
     Today you will exchange vows of marriage which will unite you as husband and wife
     and which are a formal and public pledge of your love and your lifelong commitment
     to each other.

     (Phloen’s   reading – a poem by Louise Cuddon)

     Bride and Groom to stand.
     S.R. (To Groom):   Is your full name ---Barry Richard Selwyn--- ?
     S.R. (To Bride):   Is your full name ---Phloen (“Plern”) Wongman--- ?
     Before you are joined in matrimony, I have to remind you of the solemn and binding
     character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage according to the law of this
     country is the union of one man with one woman voluntarily entered into for life, to
     the exclusion of all others. Now, I am going to ask each of you in turn to declare
     that you do not know of any lawful reason why you should not be married to each
     other.

     [Legal declaratory words]

     1. I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful reason why I,
     Barry Richard Selwyn, may not be joined in matrimony to Phloen Wongman

     2. I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful reason why I,
     Phloen Wongman, may not be joined in matrimony to Barry Richard Selwyn

     (Barry’s reading – from “Now We Are Six” by A.A.Milne, followed by short extract from prelude
     to JS Bach cello suites No 6 in D major - BWV 1012)

     Now the solemn moment has come for these two people to enter into a legally
     recognised marriage before you their witnesses. Would you all please stand.

     Rings are to be given; the SR instructs the man to put it on the woman‟s left hand
     and to hold it there whilst saying:
     [Legal contracting words]

     (1) I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, Phloen Wongman, do
     take thee, Barry Richard Selwyn, to be my lawful wedded husband in sickness and in
     health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer. I give you this ring as a
     symbol of our marriage, the love we share, our future together and my unending
     devotion to you. I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more
     than you can give. I promise to respect you for yourself and to realise that your
     interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own.

     (2) I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, Barry Richard Selwyn,
     do take thee, Phloen Wongman, to be my lawful wedded wife in sickness and in health,
     for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer. I give you this ring as a symbol
     of our marriage, the love we share, our future together and my unending devotion to
     you. I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can
     give. I promise to respect you for yourself and to realise that your interests,
     desires and needs are no less important than my own.

     Barry Richard Selwyn and Phloen Wongman you have both made the declarations
     prescribed by law and have made a solemn and binding contract with each other in the
     presence of the witnesses here assembled. I am pleased to declare that you are now
     husband and wife together.

     (Music whilst signing the register – Louis Armstrong, “la Vie En Rose”)
     (Music as guests leave – Mr. Sid Philips & His Band, “Ain’t she sweet?”)


And that, gentle reader, was how we were married!

				
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