Is Dad Getting What He Needs to Support Mom? by ProQuest


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									        Is Dad Getting What He
             Needs to Support Mom?
Who We Are — We have been helping men wrap their minds
around becoming dads since 1990. We built and now sponsor Boot            What New Moms Need To Know About New Dads
Camp for New Dads, the internationally acclaimed orientation work-        1. A new mom has a huge array of information and support, in-
shops for dads-to-be. More than 300 coaches conduct these “nursery            cluding her mate, friends, family, the healthcare system and the
in a locker room” workshops across the U.S. and have helped                   entire media and retail sectors. A new dad has a new mom.
prepare over 250,000 men of all types to be fathers. We publish           2. Mothers are the most important factor in a father’s involvement with
Dads Adventure magazine and operate so new                  his baby. You can facilitate it or hinder it, especially in the months
fathers have a place to get information they need and can trust.              surrounding the birth when a new dad’s motivation peaks.
                                                                          3. If you back off on doing everything with the baby and expect
     A good father is great for babies and brings balance to                  him to do his part, he will. Encourage him to get out of the
the lives of new moms. Mom then has more time and appre-                      house with his baby on his own, which is when they develop a
ciation for dad, which motivates him to do a better job for                   very special relationship.
                                                                          4. Men thrive on respect, confidence and love and all are in
her and their baby, which strengthens their relationship for                  short supply as we become fathers. Focus on respect for what he
the long run. A great way to form a new family.                               does right. It will build his confidence and show you love him.
     The alternative is much more prevalent as most relation-             5. Dads bring a unique set of strengths to raising kids and are the
                                                                              best brain development toys possible. Don’t turn dad into an
ships suffer when a new baby arrives – often for the long run.                assistant mom, encourage him to do it his way. Your baby will
Mom focuses solely on her baby, has little energy for dad,                    thrive on the difference.
essentially pushes him away, and becomes angry that he is                 6. Having our babies get excited when they see us, and knowing we
                                                                              are there for them when they need us, feeds our souls as men. With
not doing his share. A lousy (but very common) way to form                    experience, our confidence builds, our instincts kick in, and we
a family.                                                                     start feeling like real dads. It just takes longer than with moms.
     Our New Moms Hearts and Minds Project goal is to                     7. It’s not about sex, it’s about love. New moms naturally and
strengthen the relationships of new parents. After spending                   dramatically shift their energy, attention, intimacy a
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