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TATTOO Photo 1: Fred (Alexander Ebeert), Lea (Birgit Stöger), and Naomi (Eva Spott). BY IGOR BAUERSIMA & RÉJANE DESVIGNES TRANSLATED FROM GERMAN BY NEIL BLACKADDER PHOTOGRAPHS BY SONJA ROTHWEILER TheatreForum 61 “I started a joke which started the whole world crying.” -THE BEE GEES 1. heritage: what you guys can hear in one room. the background isn’t ambient techno— FRED: But that’s what it sounds like. FRED AND LEA you won’t get that on this station— Because we can’t keep out of each it’s the printer of someone I’ve been other’s way, apparently. A one bedroom apartment, furnished friends with for years. He’s well past LEA: But it’s true, we can’t. haphazardly. On the left a small dining thirty, this friend of mine, and by now FRED: But it sounds small. And that’s table and an improvised kitchen. On he’s spent about fifteen years typing boring. It’s private. No one wants to the right a sleeping-area. In the middle words into a computer, and today, that know. Come on, you’ve got imagination. a small computer work-station with a is, during this hour and presumably You could tell them we’re in some huge sound mixing deck, and on the wall, during the next one too—and this rooms, a palace, a tree house in Haiti, makeshift shelves with books and CDs. even though he knows that right now whatever. Something nice. Overhead, a kind of skylight. Fred and I’ve been invited into the homes of LEA: That won’t work if the printer’s Lea are each working separately in one hundreds of listeners, even though making noise in the background. corner of the room. Fred is trying to I’ve got down on my knees and begged FRED: So say you’re in the offices of get a sense of the progress of his work. him not to do it—at this very moment a media company. I mean, anything’s The printer continuously spits out one he’s printing out all the characters better than telling them what’s really page after another. There is already a he’s painstakingly put together and is going on here. great mass of paper piled up next to the making sure you can only understand LEA: Why? What’s so bad about us? printer. Lea is moderating her internet every other word I’m saying. But he FRED: Nothing. I just want to be able broadcast. She’s sitting at her PC, who seeks to harm others does harm to go out without people knowing what wearing a headset similar to those used to himself. And now I’ll play you a color my underwear is. by pilots in the cockpit. The Bee Gees’ “I fitting waltz by Paul Misraki from that LEA: You don’t love me. started a joke” can be heard from Lea’s wonderful movie Alphaville. FRED: Exactly. “I despise you, you monitor. Lea is reading a book. Then she Lea lets the music play for a moment and make me sick.” fades out the music. then turns down the sound on the monitor. LEA: You don’t love me. FRED: What’s that you’re saying? FRED: Yes. Exactly. LEA: “Hence he who seeks to harm LEA: I’ve told you a thousand times: you They laugh. Fred hugs Lea, gives her a others does harm to himself, and the can’t print when I’m doing a broadcast. kiss, picks her up, turns around and then writer who dallies over his opening FRED: But that’s no reason to make puts her back down. They kiss again. will bring the work to naught.” Thus our private life public. Nobody has to FRED: I bought this really expensive spoke old Democritus way back when, know we’ve only got one room, and wine. (Lea smiles at him.) No idea why and now, in spite of that, or perhaps a small one at that. No one needs to I’m buying wine. precisely because of it, I have to say a know I even e
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