Listening Skills Objectives by nup32300

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									            The Listening Cycle                           Listening
                                                         through the
                                                          Awareness
                                                           Wheel:
                                                          Follow the
                                                       content around the
                                                            wheel.




    To gain best understanding:
    Keep cycling skills 1-4 in any order
    Ask questions last




                 Listening Skills
                                                               Poor Listening Behaviors
                   Objectives
• To learn that listening skills helps people          • Internal
    understand others better and connect better            – Rehearsing next point
•   To learn the about the three dynamics of               – Evaluating other’s point
    rapport, control, and trust, which are involved
    in each relationship                               • External
•   Learn concepts revolving around three types            – Not attending
    of listening                                           – Interrupting with words or actions
•   Learn five listening skills                            – Asking closed or “why” questions
•   Learn guidelines for listening to criticism            – Giving advice
    constructively




                 Listening Skills                                 3 Types of Listening
• Three dynamics are involved in each
    relationship:
     – Rapport – How do we fit together?              • Persuasive Listening – Wanting to Lead
     – Control – Who is in charge?
     – Trust – How much do we trust each other?       • Directive Listening – Wanting to Clarify

• These dynamics are reflected in the                 • Attentive Listening – Wanting to Discover
    way you listen.




                                                                                                    1
       Persuasive Listening                                 Directive Listening
                                                • Wanting to clarify
• Wanting to lead                               • You use questions to control the direction of
                                                  the conversation
• You listen briefly and then interrupt to      • 5 kinds of directive questions:
                                                   –   Why questions
  disagree, give advice, or superimpose            –   Leading questions
                                                   –   Closed questions
  your perspective on the other person             –   Multiple questions
                                                   –   Open questions




         Attentive Listening                               The Key to Listening

• Wanting to discover                           • To gain Understanding before moving to
                                                  Action
• This listening helps you gain an overview,
                                                • BY:
  understand, deal with “what is,” count both
                                                   – Putting your own concerns on hold temporarily
  self and other, & connect with others            – Following rather than leading your partner




• Attend
   Stop and Follow:
   • Look at Nonverbals
   • Listen to Sounds
   • Track Zones of Awareness Wheel




                                                                                                     2
• Acknowledge
  Other’s Experiences :
  •    Nod, say “uh-Huh,” or interpret
  •    Comment on Energized Zone of Wheel
  •    Reflect Unstated feelings or wants        •Acknowledgements are small fragments – words, phrases, or
                                                 brief sentences
                                                    •Show respect for and acceptance of the talker’s
                                                    experience as being valid or legitimate.
                                                    •Go with – rather than go against – the talker’s experience
                                                    •Formulate brief “voice-overs” as the talker speaks.
                                                    These are not used to interrupt the talker but to let him or
                                                    her know that you are on target.
      • Watch partner’s response for accuracy




 • Invite More Information                      • Summarize
      More Information:
                                                    To Ensure Accuracy:
      • Encourage more talking with a gentle
                                                • Repeat – In your words – Partner’s points
        command, statement or inviting
        question.                                      Don’t add or subtract
             When                               • Watch Partner’s Response for Accuracy
                After a pause                   • Ask for Confirmation or Clarification
                At urge to direct or react      • Recycle Summarization Until Both are Satisfied
      • Continue Inviting – A Full Story




                                                          The Listening Cycle
 • Ask:
   Open-ended questions:
 • Combine Who, What, Where, When, How
   with Awareness Wheel
 • Ask open questions to:
      • Fill missing information
      • Clarify unclear sensory data
      • Check accuracy of interpretations
      • Clarify incongruent messages              To gain best understanding:
                                                  Keep cycling skills 1-4 in any order
 • Avoid “why” questions
                                                  Ask questions last




                                                                                                                   3
                Using Skill Mat                                      Coaching the Listening Mat
• Stand so “Listening Cycle” face you                            • As if listener wants coaching during the exercise.
• Stand with right foot on Attending                               If not, wait until end to coach
• When use another skill, move feet                              • Give audible suggestions as well as foot taps. Say
• Experiment with different skills and combinations                “Acknowledge” if you think the listener should do
  of skills                                                        so, may not see foot taps.
• Avoid asking until all others clear                            • Watch the talker to see hot or cold responses when
                                                                   the listener summarizes.
• Call Time Out when needed
                                                                 • Use your observations for feedback to both the
• Check Process: “What skills am I over-                           speaker and the listener. Focus first on listening.
  emphasizing?” etc.




        Caring About Stakeholders                                                    Practice
• When you use the Listening Cycle you set your                  • Divide into groups of three
    own concerns aside temporarily and allow and                 • Each person in the triad will rotate roles as
    encourage other to express concerns fully.                     the group practices each type of listening
    – Gets to the center of issues faster                        • The three roles are:
    – Supports, energizes the speaker to disclose and share         – Storyteller – person presenting a concern or
    – Pursue understanding before action                              problem to the listener
    – Earns you the right to be heard afterwards                    – Listener – person practicing a particular type of
    – Creates collaborative atmosphere for building                   listening
      agreements                                                    – Observer – person observing the listener’s impact
    – Leaves the other feeling good about you, develops trust,        on the interaction and quality of information gained
      builds relationship




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