Kids Learn More When Mom Listens
By Bethany Rittle-Johnson, PhD
“Mom, I need help with my home- a problem that is challenging for indicate that people learn best
work.” As parents, we often want young children. The children were when they are given guidance—
to help our children learn. Our first told to explain the solution to their hints and suggestions to guide
instinct might be to tell our child moms, to themselves or to simply them towards a good explanation
the answer or exactly what to do. repeat the answer out loud. or solution. People learn less well
However, “teaching by telling” is at either extreme—when they are
not always the best way to go. We found that explaining the an- provided no guidance and must
swer to themselves and to their figure it out on their own or when
For example, seven-year-old Dan- moms improved the children’s they are told how to do it. People
iel Stephens of Nashville, TN was ability to solve similar problems learn best when they integrate
stumped by the homework ques- later, and that explaining the an- new knowledge with their existing
tion, “What two numbers add up swer to their moms helped them knowledge, and prompting people
to 51, where one of the numbers solve more difficult problems. to explain helps accomplish this.
is five more than the other?” and Having mom there gets children
asked his mom Heather for help. to think more and talk more about Overall, an important message
the task at hand. In general, when for parents is that you don’t have
Heather’s first impulse was to tell we’re asked to articulate ideas to to know the answers to help your
him how to solve it. But, instead, other people, we learn better. children. If you just say, “How do
she asked Daniel how he thought you think you could solve it?” or
he should approach the question. Unfortunately, children are not “Why do you think it works?” and
With a few attempts, he talked his asked to explain their thinking the listen attentively, then you
way to the answer: 23 and 28. very often, at least in school. may help your child figure it out
Children spend much of their day on her own.
Years of research indicate that at school listening to the teacher
children and adults benefit from or completing worksheets on their Bethany Rittle-Johnson is an as-
generating their own explanations. own. They are rarely asked t