I am aware that I am not in control of my life anymore, although at times I still have the illusion of control. Jesus' saying about "losing one's life in order to gain it" is no longer at a distance, but a very personal statement of belief. So my life has changed, but not always.* "DO YOU LOVE ME?" The final question was the one [Jesus] asks of Peter after the resurrection. Peter is perturbed by Jesus asking him the same question three times. For me, the question is more about my willingness to receive God's love for me. Do I really feel that God loves me unconditionally and forever? Then maybe I can love God unconditionally, not asking for any more miracles, only his presence.Fred Redekop, right, the pastor of Flor adale Mennonite Church, Ont., accompanied Jim Loepp Thiessen, pastor of The Gathering, Kitchener, Ont, in the five-kilometre Run for Relief event at the 200S Mennonite Relief Sale in New Hamburg Ont, less than a year after Redekop nearly died of a heart attack.
Canadian Mennonite May 25, 2009 13 Viewpoint the question seems farther away for me Everything is new, since my heart attack, but it seems less threatening for my journey to be farther yet not new away from the answer. The journey has become the answer. • “What do you want me to do for you?” This question is asked of a blind By Fred Redekop man by Jesus in Luke 18. God does really know what I want, and wants me to tell him. I did not ask for God to save me I had a heart attack on Nov. 26, 2007, journey. He asked with much compas- from my heart attack, and yet God did and it has changed everything and yet sion if I really expected to have no more that for me. Do I really want God to do nothing. I was dead and have been days of desolation in my journey here on anything more for me? Am I more afraid resurrected—by my wife Shirley (who this earth. to ask anything of God? did CPR on me), the volunteer fire- Since I was saved from death, some- • “Do you love me ?” The final ques- fighters, the heart surgeon and by God. how I seemed to figure life would be tion was the one Jesus asks of Peter after Everything is new. I have experienced easier. I have found that to be the prob- the resurrection. Peter is perturbed by many thin places where I am more deeply lem with healing. I get healed once, and Jesus asking him the same question three aware of God’s love, God’s people and it is as if I am demanding God to heal times. For me, the question is more about God’s creation. me again and again. It relates to Jesus’ my willingness to receive God’s
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