Everything is new, yet not new by ProQuest


I am aware that I am not in control of my life anymore, although at times I still have the illusion of control. Jesus' saying about "losing one's life in order to gain it" is no longer at a distance, but a very personal statement of belief. So my life has changed, but not always.* "DO YOU LOVE ME?" The final question was the one [Jesus] asks of Peter after the resurrection. Peter is perturbed by Jesus asking him the same question three times. For me, the question is more about my willingness to receive God's love for me. Do I really feel that God loves me unconditionally and forever? Then maybe I can love God unconditionally, not asking for any more miracles, only his presence.Fred Redekop, right, the pastor of Flor adale Mennonite Church, Ont., accompanied Jim Loepp Thiessen, pastor of The Gathering, Kitchener, Ont, in the five-kilometre Run for Relief event at the 200S Mennonite Relief Sale in New Hamburg Ont, less than a year after Redekop nearly died of a heart attack.

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									                                                                                   Canadian Mennonite May 25, 2009                13

                                                                                          the question seems farther away for me

               Everything is new,                                                         since my heart attack, but it seems less
                                                                                          threatening for my journey to be farther

                  yet not new
                                                                                          away from the answer. The journey has
                                                                                          become the answer.
                                                                                          • “What do you want me to do for
                                                                                          you?” This question is asked of a blind
                                 By Fred Redekop                                          man by Jesus in Luke 18. God does really
                                                                                          know what I want, and wants me to tell
                                                                                          him. I did not ask for God to save me

     had a heart attack on Nov. 26, 2007,       journey. He asked with much compas-       from my heart attack, and yet God did
     and it has changed everything and yet      sion if I really expected to have no more that for me. Do I really want God to do
     nothing. I was dead and have been          days of desolation in my journey here on  anything more for me? Am I more afraid
resurrected—by my wife Shirley (who             this earth.                               to ask anything of God?
did CPR on me), the volunteer fire-                Since I was saved from death, some-    • “Do you love me ?” The final ques-
fighters, the heart surgeon and by God.         how I seemed to figure life would be      tion was the one Jesus asks of Peter after
Everything is new. I have experienced           easier. I have found that to be the prob- the resurrection. Peter is perturbed by
many thin places where I am more deeply         lem with healing. I get healed once, and  Jesus asking him the same question three
aware of God’s love, God’s people and           it is as if I am demanding God to heal    times. For me, the question is more about
God’s creation.                                 me again and again. It relates to Jesus’  my willingness to receive God’s
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