Ask “I am upset.” Lily said. “I am learn-
ing to read and I am not yet that good at
it. The phone rang and I went to see the
Naomi caller I.D. and I read it out loud and I
read it all wrong. So my older sister,
Vicky, heard me and said, ‘Your reading
sucks.’ I am very upset and angry. I
Without raged at her.”
Struggle “Lily,” I said, “let’s explore what ac-
tually happened. So, Vicky said your
reading sucks and what happened out of
by Naomi Aldort that?”
“Out of that I was very upset,” Lily
And did anything happen? Outside of
When Siblings Tease your mind? Something I could video?
No. Nothing happened.
Q: My younger son is often teased by his ter what anyone says...if our responses Good to know. So nothing happened.
teenaged sister and then he teases his model such peace. You are still breathing, reading as well as
younger brother. I don’t want the chil- There is an old Zen story that demon- you do and living in your home.
dren to get hurt but no matter what I say, strates how to welcome whatever comes Yes.
they don’t stop. How can I help them to your way “without blinking an eye:” A So something happened only in your
stop name calling? warrior came to a temple seeking the old mind?
Zen master who stayed alone after all the Yes. Anger inside my head.
A: Your desire to stop the teasing is natu- villagers fled in fear. When the warrior Why?
ral. Yet, teaching children to control the did not encounter the submissiveness to Because she shouldn’t say that my
offender makes them weak and depend- which he was accustomed, he was en- reading sucks.
ent on others for their happiness. Instead, raged. “You fool,” he shouted as he Are you sure that she shouldn’t?
consider empowering your children in reached for his sword, “don’t you realize Yes. (Starting to laugh.)
the face of the teasing. you are standing before a man who could Can you really know that she should-