New Computer We have bought a new computer that's the fastest ever seen. It has terabytes of mem'ry and a forty-eight inch screen. It has all the latest gizmos and accessories galore. It has every last peripheral they carried at the store. It has disk drives by the dozen it has twenty-seven mice, and it even has a microwave included in the price. It can teach you how to mambo. It can play the violin. It can calculate the distance from Botswana to Berlin . It can speak in seven languages with scholarly finesse, then defeat the world's grandmasters in a tournament of chess. It can conjure anti-gravity, or build a time machine. Our computer is undoubtedly the fastest ever seen. When we went and bought it yesterday we thought it pretty neat, but today our new computer is already obsolete. So you see, to write your own exaggeration poem, you only need to do three things: 1. 2. 3. 4. Pick something to write about. Pick a feature or characteristic of the thing that you are writing about. Exaggerate that characteristic in every way you can think of, making a list as you go. Take your list of ideas and turn them into a poem.
Here are some more tips to help you get started:
When you write your exaggeration poem, it doesn't have to rhyme, unless you want I to. If you can't think of a funny ending for your poem, try ending it with the same lines you used at the beginning of the poem.
How to Write a Clerihew
You're going to love learning how to write clerihews. Why? Because clerihews are funny poems you write about specific people. That means when you learn to write a clerihew, you can instantly write funny poems about your parents, your teacher, your favorite movie star, your best friend, your pet, or anyone else you can think of. Clerihews have just a few simple rules: 1. They are four lines long. 2. The first and second lines rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other. 3. The first line names a person, and the second line ends with something that rhymes with the name of the person. 4. A clerihew should be funny. That's it! You don't have to worry about counting syllables or words, and you don't even have to worry about the rhythm of the poem. Let's look at an example. Let's say your art teacher was named Mr. Shaw, and you wanted to write a clerihew about him. You might start your clerihew like this: Our art teacher, Mr. Shaw, Really knows how to draw. Notice that the first line ends with the name of the person the clerihew is about, Mr. Shaw. The second line ends with "draw" because it rhymes with "Shaw." To finish the clerihew, you need to write two more rhyming lines. In a well-written clerihew, those next two lines will make the poem funny, like this: Our art teacher, Mr. Shaw, Really knows how to draw. But his awful paintings Have caused many faintings. You don't have to limit yourself to writing clerihews about people you know. You can write clerihews about people you have never met. A clerihew will work best, though, if you write it about someone who is well known, or who at least is known to the people who will read it. For example, if I wrote a clerihew about my aunt Norma, that might not mean anything to you. But it might work very well if I planned to share it only with my family. On the other hand, if I wrote a clerihew about a famous musician, it might be funny to many more people. Here is an example of a clerihew about some well-known singers: N'Sync Stink. Their music hurts my ears. I much prefer Britney Spears.
And you don't have to limit your clerihews to real people. You can even write clerihews about characters from books, movies, comics, cartoons, etc. Here's an example of a clerihew about a character from a book: The enemy of Harry Potter Was a scheming plotter. I can't tell you what he's called; I'd be ashamed To name "he who must not be named." So you see, clerihews are short, easy to write and can be about any person or character, real or not. They can be about people you know, people you don't know, or even about animals, cartoon characters, rock groups, or anyone else you can think of. Just remember, put the person's name at the end of the first line, rhyme it at the end of the second line, and then write two more rhyming lines that make it funny, and you're done. Have fun!
Let's say we want to write a poem about a spicy food. But let's exaggerate and make it the world's spiciest food. What kind of food might that be? How about the world's hottest hot pepper? What kinds of things would happen if you ate the world's hottest hot pepper? Would you breathe flames? Would your hair ignite? Would you drink a lot of water? Perhaps an entire lake? What else would happen? Let's start writing and find out. I Ate a Spicy Pepper I ate a spicy pepper From my brother on a dare. The pepper caught my head on fire And burned off all my hair. My mouth erupted lava And my tongue began to melt. My ears were shooting jets of steam. At least that's how they felt. I ricocheted around the room. I ran across the ceiling. I dove right in the freezer To relieve the burning feeling. I drank a thousand soda pops And chewed a ton of ice To try to stop the scorching Of that spicy pepper's spice. At last, the flames extinguished, I admitted to my brother, "That pepper was the best one yet. May I please have another?"