HAPPY HACKER by maclaren1


									Mar 2010                           www.sun.ac.za/hockey                            Volume #2

FROM THE EDITOR                    as we strive for supremacy        major upsets. Simonsberg
I would like to start my first
                                   and make winning a lifestyle.     failed to impress (again), as
official Happy Hacker by
                                   This newsletter will connect      Dave Agar threw one too
welcoming all of the new first
                                   our maties players in             many overheads. They lost
years into the club and some
                                   incomprehensible ways, and        out to a Maties Club Mix side,
of the old war horses who
                                   allows input from all club        lead by the crippled bird,
wear their hearts on their
                                   members.                          pigeon and rich in
sleeves and bleed maroon.
                                                                     experienced Maties
Hope everybody is feeling fit      If you are wondering who the
                                                                     campaigners. The Maties
and are rearing to go after a      personality is behind this
                                                                     Club Mix side fought through
strenuous pre season fitness       paper of news, it‟s you. But I,
                                                                     tough times to top their group
regime which left most of us       Jacques “Steve Oh” Grobler
                                                                     and win a tightly contested
losing those unwanted              (add me), put all your faces
                                                                     semi final against Helderberg.
pounds that we put on these        and opinions together,
                                                                     The other side that competed
December holidays. We              forming a community of sticks,
                                                                     for top honour‟s of being
would also like to welcome         balls and pretty faces, and
                                                                     crowned the victors of
the new members of the suspi       who wouldn‟t want to be a
                                                                     summer league for the first
fitness team, as well as those     part of that. We have lots to
                                                                     time in their history is the
who have been working with         look forward to this season,
                                                                     formidable Libertas side. Who
us for years, into our maties      and if all the Maties club
                                                                     beat a flailing Paul Roos side
club and thank them for all the    members embrace our duties
                                                                     in quite a physical semi-final,
time they have set aside.          the club, and us as
                                                                     only to be beaten, in a nail
They play a big role in aiding     individuals, will have a
                                                                     biting final, on penalty flicks
us on our path to success!         prosperous and fortuitous
                                                                     by the Club Mix side. The
                                                                     women on the other hand,
The happy hacker is a fun          PAST EVENTS
                                                                     whose competition is
filled, factual guide as to what        STEINHOFF
                                        SUMMER LEAGUE                harrowing each season, which
is going on in our hockey club,
                                                                     was dominated by Sonop, met
and will be released on a          Summer league has been            an outstanding Nemesia in
monthly basis this year,           fiercely competed this year       the final‟s but Nemesia proved
seeing as there is so much to      and there were some               to be too strong yet again as
talk about in our hockey club
  2                                                                       HAPPY HACKER
they managed to notch              commencing with training on         acceptable hairstyles. But
another Summer League              Mondays and Wednesdays in           these elite few have gone the
Final win against their names.     the early slot. The Ladies C        extra mile and found that it
       Training Underway           Squad will be training on a         was greener on the other
       For Squads                  Monday and Thursday, in the         side. These are the following

Official club training sessions    late slots. Please ensure that      players that Made the

start this week, so please can     we all are aware of when the        province Under 21 pens side

all members be present at          early and late time slots begin     for both men and women:

their squad training and if not    and move your skeleton to be        Dave Agar, Callum Buchanan,

could they please inform their     at practice on time. You can        Mickey Crawford, Mark

coaches beforehand, either by      find the allocated training slots   Kokoropo, Brad Logan, Chris

SMS directly to the coach or       on the website. But in case         Mccathie, Keldohn

by emailing Grant Hawkins          you haven‟t seen the notice or      Swanepoel, Ross Chaplin,

and he will forward the            missed the email, I‟ll keep you     llandi Botha, Zonika Benade,

message to the relevant            informed. Squad training ends       Dani Crouse, Mari Janse v

coaches. Just a reminder that      on Thursday 11 March with           Rensburg, Chantelle Britz,

if you hit a hockey ball over      the final team‟s being              Carey Clegg, Sanel Jordaan,

the fence please will you fetch    announced on Friday.                Anli Potgieter and Amy

it immediately as you will only                                        Theunissen.
be costing yourself in the long    ALL YE MATIES!!!!!!                 There were an exceptional

run. The balls will not be                                             bunch that made the under 21

replaced again this season,                                            WP side, they were as

and we would not like to find                                          follows:

ourselves in a situation of only                                       Andrea Buhr, Hanli Hattingh,

having 30 balls to train with                                          Elzette Louw, Jade Mayne,

between two sides. So if you       Our Maties outfit is filled with    Pippa Rabey, Jenna Bowes,

hit a ball over, FETCH IT!         dedicated, outstanding,             Stacy Lee- Gedult, Candice

(Thanks Grant) The Men‟s A         enterprising individuals who        Manuel, Karmen Nash, Greta

Squad will be training on          strive for excellence day in        Raath, Tyler Evans, Matt

Monday, Tuesday and                and day out. Some of us             Hampson, Ashlin Freddy,

Thursday, whilst the Men‟s B       strive to make the perfect          Jacques Jordaan, Jono Reid-

Squad will be training on          braai, others strive to bench       Ross, Alex Rossi, Waldi

Tuesday in the late slot and       press 5kg‟s more each week          Roux, Keegan Stevens. Well

Wednesdays in the early slot.      when whilst hitting the gym         done to all who made it and if

The Ladies A Squad will be         boet (ganic), and notoriously       you didn‟t make the cut this

training on Mondays,               Stu Spooner and Chris               time, try and try again.

Tuesdays and Thursdays,            Mccathie strive to have the
                                   paradoxically siffest yet still     URGENT NOTICE!!!
with the Ladies B Squad
  3                                                                      HAPPY HACKER
We would just like club            1 X Good Attitude and              natural than Andries Bekker,
members to ensure that all         positive self talk.                and more attractive on the
club members work together         Blend for Approximately 30         eye. Here‟s to Double D...
and ensure that players do         seconds, unless you are Matt       (celebratory song for the next
not jump over the B field          Tanner and have the most           time we encouter him). Zol
fence. It has been happening       powerful blender known to          A.K.A Gregg Drake says this
on the reg, and if we could        man. Finally pour into glass       is the best shape he has ever
please take into account that      and bon appetite. Pls try this     been in; he said he went on 3
we are setting the standards       recipe and get back to me on       runs in the holidays ranging
for all external club members.     15346269@sun.ac.za, giving         from between 600 and 800
So if you see anyone about to      feedback on this fantastically     metres. Apparently the first
jump over the fence please         tasty treat. If you are lonely     two sessions were him
speak out and be proud of the      Agony Aunt 14862727@sun.ac.za      running to the fridge for a pre-
facilities that the club offers    is always available.               eat session he had forgotten
us. And if you a hit a ball over   HOLIDAY HAPPENINGS!!               about and the third time he is
the fence please fetch it.         During the december holidays       unsure of but when he woke
Many thanks                        people get festive and a our       up in the morning he could
Wogga’s Whimsical                  integrity is left to be desired.   feel he had had a good
Work-out drink:                                                       workout. Remember Gregg
                                   Here are a few of the crazy
We have a new edition to the       occurences of these past           there is always room for

hacker which is a power drink      holidays. Jacques Jordaan          improvement, however with

or meal which members of the       started a website as a tribute     your spider pig duties we

club can try out and say           to tall guys with broken hearts    understand that your plate is

whether it enhanced their          (I feel you brother), Vida Ryan    literally full at the moment.

energy levels, heightened          set up a training schedule for     Know your Maties
their sense of awareness or if     the South African ladies side,     Members!!!
it just hit the TG (tastes good)   unfortunately none of them         This is a short insight into the
spot on the pallet. This week      were available for comment         appearances and feelings of
the recipe for enhancing one‟s     as we are unsure of who is in      your fellow club members.
physical well-being comes          the national side at the           Zoe Christian ... topped the
from Warren Grobler.               moment. Darryl “the squirrel       tables as most attractive 1st
Ingredients needed are:            Davidse” has apparently            year girl and Niquita
10 X Grapes                        received a contract with the       Chamberlain ... has the best
Half a pineapple                   Stormers as lock for the next      open-face pull (no pun
1 X Apricot                        Super 14 campaign. Darryl,         intended). Pippa Rabey is the
1 X Plum                           who is relatively new to the       girl with the “grootest poot”, in
1 X Blender                        game of rugby was said to be       terms of her height to foot
                                   a natural, or at least more of a
  4                                                                     HAPPY HACKER
ratio; you know what they say      Rob Grant is on Honeymoon.           4) And cheese of the lot
about girls with big feet…                                                   is “I‟ve just moved you
                                   QUOTES FOR THE TERM
They have big souls. On the        AS WELL AS PICK UP                        to the top of my „to do‟
guys side Iain Kemp was            LINES THAT ARE BOUND                      list”
                                   TOO WORK.
voted as having the most                                             Ladies are welcome to use
                                   “I‟ll see you in the spring,
beautiful hair band, as 85% of                                       these pick up lines as well,
                                   when the mattress breaks”
girls members envied his                                             however we all know that you
                                   - Luc Donald
mane retainer. Iain Botha has                                        obtain the power in this
                                   “Let‟s make like a baby and
officially got the shortest hair                                     relationship, and don‟t have to
                                   head out”
in the hockey club, and the                                          try too hard to get together
                                   - Matthew Bradley
most ingrown hairs. Derek                                            with us clumsy fellows.
                                   The following pick up lines
Hammond is up to date the                                            In issue 3:
                                   have been tried and tested
hairiest hockey player to ever
                                   and work 66% of the time, all     Find out what news is going
step foot onto the Maties turfs
                                   the time. That‟s the same ratio   on in the land of Maties,
and Craig Mullon looks like a
                                   as the “naked man” (if you        Saskia Corbett lets us know
goat. Pigeon is still the only
                                   don‟t know what I am talking      what is happening in her
avian member of the club.
                                   about watch “how I met your       social portfolio for the hockey
LOVERS GETTING DOWN                mother”). So here‟s to all you    committee and more Quotes
IN THE CLUB!!!                     guys who need a little extra      of the month, pick up lines
                                   push when that Dutch              and relationship issues and
Warren and Caitlyn Grobler
                                   courage sets in:                  statuses. As well as the best
are still happily married;
                                       1) Grab a piece of ice,       Facebook statuses for the
Caitlyn said Warren will be a
                                           walk next to a girl,      month
good role model for their
                                           make eye contact and      CONCLUDING
children in the future. When
                                           then smash the ice.       The Happy Hacker would not
questioning whether they                                             exist if it weren‟t for our
                                           Then look back at the
were awaiting a child in the                                         enterprising club members. Its
                                           girl and say, “now that   informational, yet fun and
near future Cait could only                                          educational, kind of like the
                                           I‟ve broken the ice,
afford a blush. Stu Spooner                                          learning channel on SABC.
                                           may I buy you a drink”    Please if you have any info
and Jenna Bowes still Spoon                                          you would like to relate any of
                                       2) If you are quite
on a regular basis. Jane                                             your views and supply
                                           desperate there is “Be    information about funny
Herold apparently got pecked                                         happenings my email address
                                           unique and different,
by a bird on her neck this                                           really is
                                           just say yes”             15346269@sun.ac.za,
Tuesday, she definitely got                                          especially the ladies as I
                                       3) My personal favourite
pecked, however the                                                  usually am not too well
                                           “Are you Jamaican,        informed on your happenings.
appearance of the bird is at                                         I hope this has been as
                                           because you
this time unclear to us.                                             enjoyable for you readers as it
                                           Jamaican me crazy”        was for me to compile it.

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