Does joint custody mean six months with Dad and

							Does joint custody mean six months with Dad and six months with Mom?

No. There is a difference between joint legal custody and joint physical custody.
Joint legal custody involves sharing decision-making with respect to children's
upbringing. Joint physical custody has to do with how you share time with the
children.

A "Joint Child Custody Plan" describes what will be handled routinely by each
parent, and what should be handled by the parents together. Routine matters are
handled by a parent exercising physical custody at the time. Extraordinary matters
are either assigned to one party or require consultation between parents and
consensus decision making.

Parents can have joint legal custody without having joint physical custody, which
presumes approximately equal time-sharing between parents and children. The
time-sharing (or visitation) in a joint child custody plan may be a standard
schedule from the court's advisory guidelines. It may include extended or
approximately equal time-sharing. The child will likely still have a primary
residence.

Courts have imposed joint custody upon a parent who did not request it. In such
cases, the court should find a "likelihood" of parental cooperation. Both parents
should provide good home environments. Joint custody should not disrupt other
aspects of the children’s lives, such as schooling.

Can I modify or terminate a joint child custody plan?

Yes, if the parties or the court determine the plan is no longer working in the best
interests of the children. Oklahoma law is unclear as to whether there must be a
change in circumstances since the entry of a joint child custody plan to justify
changing or ending it. The law is also unclear as to whether simply deciding that
you aren't getting along as hoped justifies termination of a joint child custody plan.
Decisions will vary from judge to judge. When a court terminates a joint child
custody plan, custody will be determined as though there has been no prior
custody determination.

If the parties to a joint child custody plan are in disagreement over the terms of the
plan, they must first attempt out-of-court dispute resolution before a judge will
hear the case

What is child custody?
Child custody embraces the sum of parental rights with respect to the rearing of
the child, including the right to direct a child's activities and make decisions
regarding the child's care and control, education, health and religion. Visitation or
time-sharing is a form of custody. Fathers and Mothers may both seek custody of
or visitation with their minor children. This is true in dissolution of marriage and
paternity actions.

What custody options are there?

There are several forms of custody available under Oklahoma law.

Joint Custody - The term joint custody means the sharing by parents in all or
some of the aspects of physical and legal care, custody, and control of their
children. Parents apply to the court for a joint child custody plan. The plan sets
forth what decisions concerning the children's upbringing will be shared (and
which, if any, will not be shared), and plans for time-sharing. The time-sharing
schedule will vary with each family's circumstance. It may look like a standard
visitation schedule, share the children's time approximately equally between
parents, or any of an infinite set of variations.

Sole custody - In this arrangement, one of the parties is awarded exclusive control
of decisions regarding the children's welfare. This is usually accompanied by the
right of reasonable visitation with the non-custodial parent. The term reasonable is
obviously broad, flexible, and highly fact-dependent.

Split Custody - Under the Oklahoma Child Support Guidelines, split custody
involves families "where each parent is awarded custody of at least one of their
natural or legally adopted children."

Birdnesting - This is a form of divided custody. The children stay in place, and
the parents rotate in and out of the children's home on a schedule. The parents may
or may not share the alternate living quarters. It requires substantial cooperation
between parents and is rarely successful.

How are custody decisions made?

The mantra for all custody determinations is to award custody "in the best interests
of the children." Obviously, determining the best interests of a child in a given
case is highly fact-driven and case specific. Here are a few guidelines from
statutes and cases.

Domestic Abuse, Mandatory Consideration - There is a rebuttable presumption
against awarding custody, guardianship or unsupervised visitation to registered sex
offenders, anyone living with a registered sex offender, convicted child abusers,
persons living with a convicted child abuser, alcohol or drug-dependent persons,
domestic abusers, or persons living with a domestic abuser.

Relationship History - The primary proof for an initial award of sole custody
involves the relative capacities of the parties to meet the parenting needs of the
child. The parent who proves superior skills in meeting the needs of the children
will be most likely to prevail. Parents putting together a joint child custody plan
will work together to meet the needs of the child. Each can play to the other's
strengths, and shore up the other's weaknesses as part of co-parenting.

Moral Issues - Proof of immoral behavior must be connected to the possibility of
harm to the child (nexus) to be relevant in a custody proceeding. Exposing the
child to improper intimate sexual contact with a lover would provide such a nexus.
Exposing the child to drug users in the home would provide such a nexus.

Race, Gender & Schooling - Race may not be considered in establishing custody.
Oklahoma law specifies that there shall be no gender-based custody preference,
and no preference for or against private school, public school or home schooling.

Visitation & Relationship With Other Parent - When it is in the best interests of
a child, the court is to ensure "frequent and continuing contact" with both parents.
The court should consider, among other factors, which parent is more likely to
allow frequent and continuing contact with the other parent.

Does the child have a say in custody?

Historically, the courts looked more to the best interests of a child than to a child's
whims, wants and desires. In 2002, the Oklahoma legislature passed a law to
provide some deference to the wishes of children age 12 or older. The modified
statute still provides a gatekeeper role for the court. A judge has discretion to
determine if the best interests of a child would be served by the child expressing a
preference. Assuming the child's best interests would be served, the court must
then consider whether the child is expressing an "intelligent preference." There is a
presumption in favor of the choice of a child of age 12 or older. If the court does
not abide by the "intelligent preference" of a child of sufficient age, the court must
set forth findings of fact supporting the court's decision. The child's testimony may
be taken in the judge's office, not in the courtroom.

I'm a good parent. Do I have to go to a seminar on parenting and divorce?

You may be a good parent, but separating from the other parent or taking legal
action changes your relationship with the other parent drastically. It is important to
minimize the effect of those changes on the children. Oklahoma law and local
court rules require persons involved in a custody proceeding to attend a divorce
education seminar. The seminar will discuss, among other things, the impact of
separate parenting and co-parenting on children, visitation and conflict
management, stages of child development, and financial responsibility for
children. The seminar is not designed for individual therapy.

Tulsa county and all surrounding counties require attendance at the "Helping
Children Cope With Divorce" seminar presented regularly throughout northeastern
Oklahoma by Family & Children's Services, Inc., a United Way agency. The
seminar receives high praise in participant surveys. The cost of $30.00 to $40.00
for the sessions is means tested, and can be reduced or waived depending upon
your circumstances.

Courts have held that mandatory attendance at "Helping Children Cope With
Divorce" seminars is constitutional. Courts have determined that the need to
protect the welfare of children in Oklahoma is more important than the
inconvenience suffered by parent attendance at the seminars. Please attend with an
open mind. If you learn one thing at the seminar that helps you or your children, it
will be 4 hours well spent.

How do we decide visitation or time-sharing?

Oklahoma law sets forth a policy that supports children having frequent and
continuing contact with both parents. It is always in a child's best interests when
parents who live separately can agree how to share physical time with the children.
Emotion can cloud a good parent's judgment in this circumstance. When parents
cannot agree, the court will impose a specified minimum amount of visitation
between the non-custodial parent and the children. The order will encourage
additional visitations of the non-custodial parent and the child, and encourage
liberal telephone communications between the non-custodial parent and the child.

In January 2005, the Administrative Director of the Courts in Oklahoma put forth
standard visitation schedules, and advisory guidelines for their use. There is no
proposed schedule for children through age 5. The guidelines suggest that the
focus be on the developmental stage of the child, and the involvement of each
parent in meeting the routine and developmental needs of the child. For children
age 5 and over, the recommendations become a bit more specific.

The advisory guidelines discuss weekend time (limited or extended), mid-week
time sharing (just an evening or overnight), ways to alternate holidays, summer
vacation, the mechanics of time-sharing (notice, transportation, etc.), and other
special circumstances.
The visitation guidelines provide a frame of reference for someone who has
trouble comprehending how parents living in different homes will share time with
a child. More or less time for the non-custodian may be appropriate for a given
family. The guideline schedules may or may not work for parties crafting a joint
child custody plan.

How do I change a custody order if we already have one?

The parent asking that custody be changed must be able to prove that: (a) since the
entry of the most recent custody order, there has been a permanent, substantial and
material change of conditions, as a result of which (b) the minor child would be
substantially better off, with respect to its welfare.

The change of conditions referred to above concerns the status of the custodial
parent's household. Changes in the life of the non-custodial parent are irrelevant in
assessing proof of permanent, substantial and material change sufficient to warrant
modification. Changes in the non-custodian's life may only apply in deciding
whether a child would be substantially better off if custody were changed.

Sexual relationships - A parent's sexual behavior must relate directly (nexus) to
the child's welfare to warrant a modification of custody. Where the nexus can be
proven, a modification may be in order. A parent's involvement in a same-sex
relationship is not sufficient, absent evidence of harm to the child resulting from
the relationship, to warrant a change in custody.

Permanent change - As the test for modification suggests, temporary changes in
the custodial parent's household will not support a change in custody. For
example, where a custodial parent's frequent moves can be explained, and the
circumstances causing regular dislocation of the child no longer exists, there
should be no custody modification.

What if one parent wants to move with the child?

This has been one of the most controversial and contentious areas in domestic
relations. In our increasingly mobile society, the chance that a bi-nuclear family
will face this dilemma becomes more likely. The one sure result of a parent
relocating some distance from the other parent - the children will have much less
physical contact with one of the parents.

In 2002, the Oklahoma legislature passed a relocation statute which provides that a
moving parent or custodian must notify the other parent or custodian of an
intended move of more than 75 miles approximately 2 months before the move, or
within 10 days of learning of the move. The notice must include a number of
things, including the moving parent's new address and phone number, when the
move will happen, why the mover is moving, and a proposed schedule for sharing
time with the children after the move.

Failure to follow the statute and notify the non-moving parent will work against a
moving parent in a custody modification proceeding. The court may order the
return of the children if the move has already taken place without notice, and may
award attorneys fees and expenses to the non-moving party.

The parent who is not relocating has thirty (30) days to file a custody proceeding
objecting to the relocation plan proposed. The burden is on the non-moving party
to take action during that period or the relocation will be authorized by law.

What do I do when the other parent denies me access to my child?

Wilful refusal to provide court ordered visitation can be remedied by contempt of
court action.

The non-custodial parent may also file a motion for enforcement of visitation
rights. Upon filing of the motion, the court must either issue an order for
mediation or set a hearing on the motion, which shall be not more than twenty-one
(21) days after the filing of the motion.

If the court finds that visitation rights of the non-custodial parent have been
unreasonably denied or otherwise interfered with by the custodial parent, the court
may order make-up visits, posting of a bond which will be forfeited if visitation
does not occur, attorneys fees and costs, or another appropriate remedy.

If the non-custodial parent fails or refuses to return the child, the custodian can
compel the return of the child by filing a request for the court to order the child
returned, known as a writ of habeas corpus.

The other parent's isn't paying child support. Can I deny visitation?

Failure to pay child support is not grounds to withhold access to children, nor does
failure to provide access to a child excuse non-payment of support.