As a connoisseur of fine cuts of deceased bovine goodness, I was thrilled to purchase a beautiful ribeye steak at our commissary. I returned home with this well marbled cut of meat and contemplated its preparation. The best possible method, I determined, was to broil it. After tearing apart my kitchen, however, I discovered that I did not own a proper broiling pan ... I decided to improvise. Weapons loaders should never be allowed to improvise.