Grand plot by pansey


									Tentative Infrastructure: Ludin is born on Homeworld. Ulyphia is born on Barren shortly after. Ludin is raised in mostly traditional Homeworld ways. Ulyphia grows as a daughter of a wealthy family. They meet on Homeworld being about eight years old. Ludin is changed drastically in the next few days, bringing up suppressed ways. He resumes to lead a fairly traditional life, though not acting as normal as the rest. Ulyphia goes on to advance personally, but her mother slows her down. They are both unhappy, and they meet again in the very same neighborhood at about age fourteen. They continue to meet occasionally while Ludin is drafted into the army at 15 and Ulyphia‟s mother takes much tighter control over her life. The meetings stop at 16. All sorts of feelings and thoughts simmer in Ludin until he is eighteen and he kills his commanding officer/uncle. Meanwhile, Ulyphia is stuck in a life she doesn‟t like but doesn‟t leave. Ludin lives as a vagrant for a while and then joins criminals. The organization collapses and he resumes to try running as long as he can with his friends. They are caught and brought to meet the rulers. Ludin accepts a sentence of being reformed and controlled for life by his society for the sake of his friends. One friend manages to break the government by using it‟s vulnerabilities. Chaos ensues on Homeworld and on their controlled parts on Barren. Ludin is able to escape his prison on Barren and goes on to unite with Ulyphia and other friends. They leave their former lives and take half a year or so to explore Barren. They leave Barren on a spaceship for their first advanced society. Despite being in the best company yet, many things are unsatisfied. They resolve to explore the universe together in search of satisfaction.

Possible intro: Superior- feeling future person laughs at Ludin's behavior. "You wouldn't laugh if you knew what he had been through. You need to understand how he grew up before you judge him."

Introduce the information in a less obvious way. The information below might be gathered by dialogue and events. Homeworlders seem too normal. People are not supposed to be similar to their ancestors in the far future unless it is actually intended. Since the beginning of mortal memory, humanity has existed. From an untraceable beginning, they have spread out and evolved into so many different things. They have mastered all technologies and rediscovered every secret. Out of the many, there are a surprising few who could be said to have really progressed. There was a planet known by it‟s inhabitants as Homeworld, and it‟s history follows a common pattern. Since the early days of settlement, the most dominant people had the most power. The most dominant man told the weak to unite with each other under

him so they can survive, and his legacy and philosophy lasted for over a thousand years in the country he founded. It was known as the Aristocracy, and since it was the only recognizable nation in the world it needed no official name. Everybody simply knew it as the Aristocracy. It was founded on certain ideals, and these made the nation tremendous, the people loyal and hardworking, cooperative, and the entire nation stable. In exchange for stability was stagnation. A thousand years after settlement, the technology largely relied on coal- and water-produced electricity and steam. All the advanced technology the original settlers brought was carefully controlled, and most people lived their lives practically unaware of life outside their neighborhoods. Almost all of the world was part of the Aristocracy, and most of the inhabitants of the Aristocracy lived together in an overbuilt metropolis. The city was so dense many parts were built in different tiers, like strata in rock. Roads and train tracks overlapped in a complex but elegant way that was a product of hundreds of years of practice. The spread of the city made the world‟s sky a smoggy grey, and most of the plant life that was grown before settlement was consumed for industry, so all the land that was not built on was stony grassland. The city and the nation‟s power would have been impossible were it not for the convenient geography of the world. Contiguous continents did not exist, all the water flowed in lakes, carving many narrow islands in a lateral direction. The ease of travel from this geography connected the entire world closely. Change this part to be from the point of view of a policeman assigned to keep watch on the family, or a number of reports by other agents connected into one report. Earlier note: Ludin comes from a planet that has ties to greater powers, like a mostly isolated country such as 19th century Japan with some ties to other powers. It was isolationist but they had interests with other nations. Ulyphia had either two or three children born to her mother before her. Either one after the old brother or two. At least one should be a girl. If I go with the idea that her mother took her in because she was the eldest girl, perhaps the older sister should be made to die at birth. Assembled report on Ludin Pralomit, assembled for the cause of the sanctity of the People of the Nation: On this world, a boy was born into a common family. His grandfather was once a part of the influential class, but he separated himself and so his family would never be allo wed into the better class. His name was Ludin Pralomit. There was nothing notable about him until the age of 5 [6 and a half], when he met someone outside his class and his society. “Mommy, who are those strange people we see here sometimes?” he asked his mother one day. She was walking him from the school train. “Those are foreigners.” “Are they from a different country?”

“No. They aren‟t from the world, they from a place called Barren. Some nights you can see their home among the stars. Why, are you afraid of them?” They exited the station building and walked down the stairs to the lower streets. “No. My friends say the people from different countries are bad. Mr. Senior Governor said so yesterday on the radio. But those foreigners aren‟t from another country. I saw some my age playing at the train yard, and they didn‟t do mean things like the people from the other countries do. May I see them?” They now reached the bottom street and walked down it. “I don‟t know. Such people scare me. If a policeman recognizes you talking with one them they might confiscate things from us again. I remember your grandfather had a lot of strange friends, and I‟ve heard that‟s the reason why we didn‟t inherit anything.” “How long have those people been coming here?” “I don‟t know. Before your grandfather I think” “Grandpa said meeting new people helped him learn. You want me to do well in school, so if I learn from them I‟ll do better.” “I remember him saying that. I see you‟re really interested in meeting them. You can go later, after you‟ve done all your work. But tomorrow at school, don‟t tell your friends and teachers. I‟ll let you go as long as you don‟t talk about it with anyone but me, and I want you to tell me everything. What are they teaching you at schoo l? ” “They teach me what they teach all the kids. I‟m just curious.” Ludin Pralomit and Mother Pralomit walked down the road to their home, a bottom street apartment that flooded often. It had a shared bedroom and a combined kitchen and congregating room. It was an average home set aside for small families of three, though most families were very large. The Pralomit family name used to bring respect from the lesser class, but since his grandfather fell out with the state and was executed, his descendants were reduced in status. The only thing that set them apart now was somewhat unusually high intelligence and unusually frequent police surveIllimisce. Ludin‟s mother and her siblings were left without inheritance after her father‟s death, so they had no more opportunities than anyone else. His mother adapted surprisingly well. She seemed to prefer the life of a commoner, even though she didn‟t fit into the life perfectly. Ludin‟s father had been accused of marrying her because she was the nearest he could get to reaching the higher social rank. The respect the family received from their peers was high, but their status was kept at the lowest possible as punishment for their grandfather‟s offenses. During late sunset, Ludin ran to the train yard to meet the aliens. Sometimes he went there to watch the trains pass by and to watch the cars being moved through the levels. He found them on the tracks. He walked up to the fence that separated the rails from the

road. -Barreners are rarely seen in public there, so it seems kind of unlikely that he simply sees them in his neighborhood. Maybe there are other curious kids, but out of all of them he is the only one that fits in and earns their respect. Maybe he meets one of them in school, because the mother wants them to gain the culture. After that, maybe he follows them to the train yards they go to regularly after school, or he talked to the friend and he invites him. Maybe the conversation with his mother goes on after he finds out where he can meet them, and after that he follows them the next day. “Hey! Why are you on the tracks?” “We already told the workers. We can jump out of the way!” After this he stood near the fence and watched them for a while. Ludin was usually shy. There were five of them, all around his age. They looked a lot like the people he knew, but they had darker skin then he had ever seen, and their hair was white and reddish. The contrast under the setting sun made them even more strange to him. The clothes they wore were unlike any he had seen, because they had style. The aliens had hairy tails and pointed fuzzy ears, and the were taller and thinner than him but he could tell they were his age. Ludin liked how they reminded him of his pet at home. “Why are you standing there? Don‟t you people always have to work?” said the same boy. He had short red hair and wore “No. My momma let‟s me play when I‟m done working. Not all kids my age can do that though.” “Well if you came to play with us, why are you standing there?” “I can‟t jump away from trains.” “Really? That‟s why? I heard most kids here would be afraid of us.” “I have no reason to be afraid.” He climbed over the fence and carefully walked over the tracks. “What are you guys doing here?” A girl in green told him “Our parents are visiting this city to negotiate with the contractors. They want to improve our town. We are one of the families that own a town on our planet.” “Really? I wouldn‟t expect rich kids to play around trains like I do.” “We‟re not rich, and there isn‟t anywhere else we can go. Our parents are busy and the people here don‟t like us.”

“Why not?” “I don‟t know. They all look afraid. Do you know why are all the people here the same? All of them are short, have black hair, dress in dull colors, and they‟re friendly to each other but not to us. Is the whole world like this?” “I never thought of us as the same. People in other countries are different too. I don‟t know why.” He wondered. “”Do you think we work a lot?” The oldest girl there suggested, “Maybe they work more because they live longer. They still get as much free time as we do.” “That seems right.” While the oldest boy, the oldest girl, the other boy and Ludin were talking, the two youngest girls were playing in the middle of a track. They were chasing each other around the rails. Not once did they trip or stumble, yet they were running faster than Ludin ever saw a child run before. Ludin watched them with interest. “You don‟t live like I do, do you? How do you live?” “I don‟t know what you mean. We live in the middle of a town in the desert on Barren. Our family is one of the governing ones in our town, so we get a big house. Did you know the day and night are as long as a year on our world?” “No, I didn‟t. I didn‟t know anyone lived that way. Is it called barren because it‟s empty?” The girl said “I‟m not surprised you don‟t know. The planet is called barren by your people because the desert looks empty. This world looks like it‟s completely covered with buildings, I like coming because it‟s so different!” There was another pause. The oldest boy stated, “I hate this place.” The four of them talked for a while (the two youngest didn‟t speak the Homeworld language). They told him about the world they lived on that was so different, and he learned things that most of his people never learned in their life. At his young age his experiences and what he knew moved into a new light and he questioned them. He walked back home when the sun was completely down, there would be more work tomorrow. He would meet these friends every day for the next few days, until they went back home. He kept his promise and didn‟t talk about it with anybody.

For the next few years, he continued to attend school and do what was expected of him. His teachers and peers noted some unusual behavior and interest to continue education past his free [three years]. This wish was contradictory to what they expected, because he

was unusually quiet and didn‟t participate often in class activities. Even though he wanted more education, his parents didn‟t have the money or desire to send him to a higher school. He worked as a trainee in the train yards. His preferred place was the depot he met his friends in, but for reasons never shared with him his employers would not let him work in any station or depot near a spaceport. He was enthusiastic whenever he caught a glimpse of somebody from Barren, but he was too afraid to talk to any of them. He didn‟t have many personal friends, but the ones he had were kept close and they were quiet like him.

{include a lot more. Dialogue too, describing the world and things for the reader through conversation and showing character development. Sometime they could go in a boat through the canals} In his childhood, point out that death was common and not treated the same way. The Barren kids have more appreciation for life and individuals. Until this point, he was not an individual. Earlier Note: Put in plenty of cultural accidents. Maybe the point of one story can be the differences in different psyches and the question of how any can be right. While he learns about them, he looks at her and says “There is something strange about your eyes.” because they dilate like a cat‟s. Barreners have cat features, but they can also be compared to many types of animals. The similarities in appearance are pointed and furry ears, furry tail, retractable claws on the fingers and toes, and fast dilating eyes. C over the subject of the spaceships and who and what they are. The idea is that Uliphya and Ludin change each other. They were unremarkable before they met each other, but it was their acquaintanceship that began things and made them special. Indicate what interest she has in him and his interest in them and her in the conversation. One thing to show about him is his growing curiosity. In their conversations, include history in the dialogue. Also show the culture of the people. Earlier note: The two of them may know each other since a very young age, and they benefit each other throughout their lives. The y learn about differences and become tolerant and understanding early on in their lives. Earlier Note: The laws and religion and moral rules of Ludin‟s planet should sound believable, like something that could exist if given the right circumstances. The grandfather was an aristocrat. Earlier note: It might be likely that Ludin‟s common people actually are stupider than the rich ones, because a web site said (With graphs) that generally the poorer countries are stupider than the rich ones. If this is the ca se, maybe it should be so that a high-class grandparent deviated from the ideals of the major society and perhaps was killed, with some now low class children left behind, one of which is Ludin‟s parents. There is an incident a few days in where Uliphya d rops a handkerchief as she walks. Ludin picks it up for her, but she laughs a little and tells him he can keep it. He stops to think about this and gets angry about it. She doesn‟t want to take it back because he‟s dirty, although the ground was dirty too she dropped it on a table somewhere. The anger isn‟t mostly directed at her for being a snob, part of the anger is the idea of himself

as a low class person in bad esteem, which is emerging with along with other ideas he is gaining. She also reconsiders things after this. Even at this age, she does like how he is getting out of his niche, since she herself is also like that. They pass by a huge and put-of place building. It has high walls all around, and Ludin already learned to ignore it just as his peop le have, but the place attracts attention from the Barrener friends. It has a high wall without any entrances or signs, but it is very tall, even taller than any surrounding buildings. None of them know what it is, but it annoys the friends because they pick up a very high-pitched noise from it so they leave. The building is one of the numerous and necessary high- tech buildings. The people who use it are specially trained and taught to be very secretive of it‟s operation. These people enter from underground. This building perhaps is a storehouse for items of technology and a communication center. The point is, that civilization needs to use some technology to sustain itself, but since that technology can change the people in the society and can‟t be kept secret the people learn to ignore it. Many of these buildings exist to keep the environment stable and livable, since the planet wasn‟t designed for all the pollution. None of them, however, know anything about it. Make it clear that Barren is just as isolated as Homeworld. (The only person really on top of things is the Principal Aristocrat) Barren is a place that was stunted until Homeworld came by. It can be made into a sort of mystery, since the Barreners know only their own history and not that of Homeworld. (Such as: Where do the spaceships come from?) They are all equally ignorant about the spaceships and other higher technology things. Many areas resemble miniature cities unto themselves. Cathedral- like centers of government Complicated but efficient system of subways and trains. Maybe he tells them about how they are said to be bad people, and they all go out of their way to appear totally nice to prove him wrong, which enforces his belief later that all foreigners are good people. Most Homeworlders would be happy to live uninteresting lives. Everybody has something in them that keeps them away from differences. Show this. His society is very ethnocentric. Maybe they give grander descriptions of themselves, to increase interest in the story. The word in the Homeworld language for the world is “Om” Energy is constantly recycled. There are no permanent reserves, such as endless petrol or such. Instead, they use plants that the original settlers brought. One common plant is a rough black tree. It has green strands instead of leaves, and these dry up after a while and stick to the tree, where by some process they become part of the trunk. The trunk frys into a black coal- like thing, which can be chipped off for fuel. The frequent chipping makes it look rock-like. There is no money in this society. It is unnecessary, since all power is centralized and there is a file on everybody, so their worth depends entirely on their value to the government. As a no-class citizen, he has little social skills and no manners. He can offend people without knowing it. All the while, bring out that his is a culture of fear. Maybe at some point it seems

like the place is a peaceful utopia, but then later we learn of it‟s foolishness and how recessed it is. “Do you think god creates lightening?” “No. Uliphya told me it‟s energy made by molecules.” “At least you know that much.” This is when he gets a small spark of the fantastic things that exist outside of his world. He learns things from them, and he also gains an imagination. Remember that he will also gain more of this in addition to other invaluable things from Uliphya. Before they met she was a simpler person as well. She already has some imagination, but she didn‟t realize fantasy. In conversation, his curious wondering abo ut the new things he learned gives her imagination. Before this, he was a little curious and a little imaginative. One thing mentioned is the amount that a persons fate is decided when they are born. Being born into a certain gender assigns you the role of that gender. Avoiding doom. In the sociology textbook, it says how in societies all over the world education is used as an agent of social control, where kids are taught to become the same as the rest. How does this affect the characters? Ludin‟s education is almost totally for this purpose. His society is overfilled with this sort of thing. (Include many examples, such as songs, rewards and punishments, rituals, and stories (not much that encourages thinking though. In the levels of higher education, the requirements are not only aptitude but conformity.).) Perhaps he breaks free of such influences slowly over time as he learns more, despite the constant influences otherwise. It is about when he decides to leave for good that he has grown apart from his society. Uliphya‟s world is much less conformist overall. Her education is by unbiased scholars, and the only social controls are found in family and society. She is more lucid and freethinking in her childhood. (maybe if she meets him in his school, she has some interest and belief in the society for a while, but they are just thoughts that she changes when she thinks about it more.) Despite her mother‟s attempts, she never actually believes so much in any people being greater, (later, when they are going to leave, Ludin thinks the accomplished and highly technological people might possibly be right about everything, but she has doubts.) partially because of lessons gathered from Ludin. Social controls are probably important to societies that are struggling. His society works as if it is constantly struggling, allowing it to do a lot. Her world is struggling less and less since modernization came. It has more natural resources than it would seem, since there are is a lot of water underground and lots of life where you can‟t see it. There were never large enough nations for social controls to last or have a major effect (until Homeworld, which is incompetant enough to be a minor threat.) “Hidden Curriculum”- sed in Conflict Theory The teachers say things that would not be tolerated here, such as saying the Barren kids are actually worse. Until later, make it look like the planet is constantly under huge threats, so that when they see how oppressive the place is it seems right and necessary. This is a sort of surprise. There are no names that are shared by males and females. This is one example of the distinct separation and structure of this society. “You have no siblings, and such a small family? Who looks out for you?” Barren is more dangerous. Homeworlders take things very literally.

Ludin knows the names of everybody in his large neighborhood. The teachers are angry at him when he isn‟t embarrassed about something the other kids would be. Grades don‟t matter as much as behavior. Ulyphia has the attitude that I sort of had in mid childhood that I was just waiting to be an adukt, not specifically anxious about either. The Barreners act alittle like punks, mostly in the way they act separate from others and hang around places they aren‟t supposed to. With the overbuilt structure of the city, consider the tops of buildings. They might have railroads crossing the tops, as well as maybe some energy-gathering devices (maybe something absorbing sunlight and heating a pylon.) “Mom, I want to go on a train and just ride as far as possible. I want to know what happens.” After they leave, he acts markedly different. He starts to wander at times, just going as far as he can. His parents worry about this. They think “I don‟t know how curiosity works. If we let him wander, maybe he will become satisfied.” Knows the names of a vast number of people because of large neighborhood. Homeworld has a culture of straightforward frankness, like the Dutch. It should be made so that allowing Barreners children to be educated on Homeworld was a move made too soon; others should be changed as Ludin was. “You were playing with girls?” Remember that children are strong stereotypers at that age. Om their own language, Barreners talk fast. Narrative by Ulyphya‟s older brother, being given to another person. Begins at his arrival, when he was [11]. He starts in by describing the location and his initial impressions. The world is overwhelming. There are so many people around, and it is unbelievably overbuilt. This is added by the confusing layout of all the streets and levels and such. The overall impression at first is that he is in the domain of titans. The hints as to who they really are are rare and small, such as saying he is surprised they have not completely conquered his world. He and his siblings are escorted with their mother to an Aristocrat‟s home, where they stay for the couple of weeks they are on that planet. This is a few pages, where the setting and situation are told. At this time, he thought his mom was unusually wise for what she was doing with these people, making a deal. (maybe it‟s something like “protection”) (It‟s like that book about the people that move to old Chicago and think it‟s great while it‟s actually very bad and cruel.) Their out of place feeling is hurt more by the colorful clothes they wear. On the next dawn {severe subspecies jetlag} they are sent to a regular school nearby for children their age, because their mother thinks that is the best education they can get, and she wants to change all of them to love the state as much as she does. She turns down a tutor like the ones the aristocrat‟s students receive, because she is told the state education is made to enforce the proper spirit. They go to school optimistically. The initial impression is that the teachers are just very strict, but we see the way education works here. Their propaganda teachings are full of arguments that would seem infallible, which are disguised as practical lectures. The students are not allowed to say or do much of anything, just to listen and perform the

rituals and routines and they spend a lot of time doing actually productive work with their hands. The siblings have to speak up because they already know facts that are against the teachings. (such as when the teachers say “this is the best and only proper way to do this” (the right way to write or something common like that), which is contrary to what the siblings have done.) They also quote the scholars that usually teach them. In the course of an (actual) argument, the teachers actually call Barreners inferior people, among the other exaggerated socially instructional things. The other students are mostly unsympathetic. It‟s a very uncomfortable place, where they only learn to dislike those people. The teachers can‟t punish them as severely as the other students, luckily. After school, the student are all free to do as they wish in the schoolroom while they wait for parents to pick them up (if they don‟t go home on their own). The siblings are treated like inferiors and by the other students, except by Ludin, who is curious. In the first day and the next couple of days, Ludin noticeably treats them differently from the other students. The other students already seem to fear and loath them at their age, but Ludin has fear with curiosity. He stares at them a lot, but doesn‟t say anything to them. Sometimes they draw and write little things since they aren‟t listening to the teacher. They notice Ludin doing this once, but he gets violently punished by the teacher. He imitates them in some other little ways too. After a few days, he follows them after school. He tries to be stealthy, but they easily notice him. They know their mother will be busy all day again, so they go to the nearby train yard to pass the time. He watches them for a while, and he gets over his shyness when he gets worried about them and vocalizes his concern. They start talking, and he comes down and joins them. They play some jokes on him too, playing with his ignorance. They introduce themselves grandly, like mytho logical princes and such (As the reader knows so far, they could be. This world that seems so unusual to us is already losing it‟s charm to them). They get acquainted here. They learn a little about Ludin, and they all can observe he‟s different from the others. Eventually Ludin has to go home around sunset. Their mother thinks she does quite right by her kids, and she has nothing for them to do besides tour the metropolis. He doesn‟t talk to them much in school the next day, but explains afterward that his father doesn‟t want him to socialize with them, but his mother wants him to but insists he keeps it secret. He is a welcome friend among the hostile strangers. They spend the time touring. Ludin is sort of a guide, and they visit locales and talk. Ludin visits them in their temporary home sometimes. The exchanges and events form the story here.

What about showing the administration as something good at first? He learns to loathe, just like Ludin does later, except he has learned less and has less mentally programmed into him. This viewpoint gives a negative view throughout. Maybe it should be from Homeworld friend. Readers might think it‟s Earth early on. Older brother should be like a leader to the others, as he is the first born. First borns are

said to be more socially dominant, less agreeable, and less open to new ideas. The narrative ends when Uliphya stops visiting. =+= Practice Other character Told from POV perhaps of a family chronicler. Look at past notes. She thinks he‟s fascinating. Things here are very unusual for her, including him and the way he is. He could do a lot for himself. He makes an impression that he is different from all the people she knew. Part of the reason she is friends with him and eventually leaves the system is that he is an eager friend, and she grows distant from other friends. Her life doesn‟t grow more difficult as time goes on, except for her social life. Her mother goes crazy for some reason, and chooses her as the favorite. Her mother embraces some Homeworld culture and values, and that is a source of difficulty, and she encourages her daughter to come with on her trips. Her mother tries to apply Homeworld values to the place they live, such as assertion of their family office as permanently their and theirs only. Because of her mother, F is distanced from her acquaintances, friends, family, and community. When rewriting later, don‟t forget that while she changes him early on in life, he should also change her. At the point in his life when his friends leave, he is content enough with his life, although he now is actually thinking about things in a new way (unlike his peers). He has a general respect for everybody, because he‟s learned strangers may turn out to be perfectly acceptable people. He also gains some new appreciation for animals and an overall gentility. She lives on a world where there never was a dominant way of living and people can vary wildly among their groups. Look at parts of Earth where this has been the case. Evolutionarily, people can vary wildly. There are places where women are taller than men. There are places where people don‟t visibly have the same traits the Barreners are known for. Actually, maybe this planet is geo-socially similar to Earth. The variety of environments is simpler though. The major factors are that the planet revolves slower, water is plentiful but underground, and it has a shorter geological history. The acceptance of these foreigners betters him, but it also gets him in trouble. Of all the siblings, she gets along with him the most. The family is a reatively wealthy bunch among a world of poor. She felt like all the Homeworlders were just untrustworthy imperialists, and they didn‟t know any of them individually. She is educated by the monk-scholars of the ancient worldwide order. She pursues questions pertaining to Ludin. This opens up philosophy for her. She is asked questions she cannot answer. The scholar tutoring her effectively continues what Ludin started. “You can‟t just run off, I own you! I gave birth to you! If I don‟t, who does? You‟re friends?” “Nobody owns me.” She and he aren‟t that friendly in the early beginning.

Practice Returning to Ludin -He does have other friends, though none he appreciates as much as her and her siblings. A few friends, about three or four, stay his friends the whole time. On a fall night when Ludin was [13], he heard music. The sound was a violin, but Ludin didn‟t know. Any music was an unusual event. Ludin was working, and his co-workers were all concerned about this unusual thing, but they assumed it was a wedding or some sort of thing. Ludin was more familiar with music, and recognized something about the song and instrument, and he left to find the source. He walked towards it, following the sound. He came to a large graveyard. His own class didn‟t receive the esteemed memorial of a grave when they died; this cemetery was a place for the rich. He walked in through the front gate, it was open. He walked among the memorials and monuments to find the sound. The source was at the top of a narrow stone building he had passed a few times. One of his childhood friends was sitting there, the oldest girl from the railroad. He still recognized her, he would have recognized any of them. Her name was Nusa. He approached her p lace slowly so she wouldn‟t be startled and leave. She startled him instead when she stopped playing and jumped down when he got close. “Do you remember me?” she asked. “Yes I do. How long were you aware of me?” “I‟m hard to sneak up on. Are you here to warn me I might fall?” “No. I have never heard music like that before. Actually, I hoped it might be one of you people, but I‟m lucky it was you. Why are you hear today?” She looked a little sad. “My family is doing business again. They came back to ta lk about what rights the Aristocracy has to my town. My parents are separating, and now your people are trying to steal a share in our town. They think our society works the same as theirs, but social positions don‟t pass to different generations of a family. Property and rule are controlled by the people who it affects.” “Your parents are separating? Has something terrible happened?” “No, nothing like that. It‟s normal for a pair to separate when their children are independent enough. They‟ll still be friends and they‟ll still raise us. I hear it‟s different on Homeworld.” “It‟s very different, but I‟m not surprised. I mean, I know your place isn‟t the same as

mine.” “I‟m glad you do. The officials talking with my parents don‟t.” This was a compliment to him. “Thank you. Why are you playing your instrument in this graveyard, though? Aren‟t you afraid you‟ll be arrested or attacked?” “I came here to meet you. My parents brought me here because I enjoy seeing this world, but I have no friends in this place. I was told you were working nearby, but I didn‟t want to walk the streets alone looking for you so I played music in this quiet place. I went to the top of that huge grave because it gives a good view of whoever comes in.” [I THINK THAT THEIR LANGUAGE USAGE SOUND VERY FORMAL, NOT LIKE TWO KIDS TALKING.] “You shouldn‟t have asked questions about me. That may have put us both in danger. You made that plan to find me?” “It wasn‟t a plan; I thought of it on the spot.” “But how did you know I would follow the sound?” “I was afraid it might attract other people too, but you‟re a different sort of person. You are the only curious person around, and music is rare.” “I didn‟t know I had such a friend. I‟m sorry to ruin this, but I have work to do. If you can meet me some other time I will probably still have to work.” “You‟re very dedicated. Can‟t you manage a compromise? I will be here for a few days.” “I don‟t know how it works on Barren, but in the Aristocracy work rules are strict. They tell me to work so I must do it.” “Really? They didn‟t tell me about that in school. You don‟t deserve that.” Neither talked for a while “Would you leave this place if you could?” “Leaving? My family lives here, I can‟t leave” “Are you proud of your place? Do you like how you fit into society?” “Well, life isn‟t as pleasant as it could be, but that just sounds impossible. I don‟t think anybody leaves.” -Contemplating. Making metaphor. Maybe they should meet again when he is in the army, and she requests that he is assigned as a guard for her? Sometime maybe he can get an early look at the high class when he goes to something with her, part of the business with her mother trying to make

gains through the state and bring their culture to their home. -His mother should be overprotective. His dad is very protective and fearful, as most other people there are. She is odd. She carries the ideals of her parents, but has the same fears and practices of common people. She is afraid that Ulyphia is dangerous in many ways, and she expects him to like her too much when they can‟t conceivably be together always. FINISH LATER -Before the conversation, show how his life is now. What he does at work for instance. -The two of them could have more dialogue. Basically she wants to be friends with him, but constrictions don‟t allow that. He wishes he could be too, but leaving or anything like that is impossible. I read a quote in National Geographic saying that when people are powerless, that is when they are easily manipulated. This is true, as I've seen many other times. Perhaps as Ludin matures, he gets more power and gets smarter. Likewise, when F gets older she is expected to fall in and start being what others want her to be. -Imagine what it would be like to hear beautiful music among the other sounds while you are in the middle of downtown New York. -This scene is in a graveyard, and I originally thought there would be more symbolism or something like that. The gravestones remind him of all the generations that have gone before and how significant he might be. Earlier note: F is on Ludin‟s world because her family is looking to gain from the Homeworld. Her family was just a normal one, but her mother wants to adapt Homeworld values and to use the favor of the government to become the new rulers of their town. They meet because Ludin has unusual interests and goes out of his way to meet aliens. They meet in a graveyard where she is playing a violin instrument. As a child, he should face some adult moments where he has to make serious choices, similar to Harry Potter and The Golden Compass and The Chronicles of Narnia. - Earlier note: One of his acquaintances may be a kindly old lady, who is afraid he‟ll get exposed to things that will hurt or change him when he visits those strange people. She is kind, but typically conservative. This character is another person who‟s opinions are shown to the reader, but she is an old conservative. Maybe in that society, old people are meant to take care of children when parents are busy? Maybe they can also be teachers of whatever field they worked in their whole life. -The situation for people there is practically slavery. Though most are completely willing to do their work for civilization, they are ordered to work by the state. -Although family name is important and a family is a legal gurdian or it‟s children, the highest social institution is the state. -The people of the nation are not encouraged to be rational. The government keeps them stupid, and so emotional appeals work very easily. It‟s efficient but the prospects for personal and national advancement are bad. -She could have unusual, artsy sort of ideas on things. One might be that she imagines herself as something other than human. She might she the disadvantages of life as a human being, such as the burdens of the social structures and demands. -On her world she is thought of as pretty. On Homewold, she looks like another savage,

except maybe by people who can empathize with Barrener people. Instead of saying she is, just describe her features in other‟s accounts. Perhaps is given a picture of the world from space Wants to leave for a very long time, but he also wants to stay because of fear and love of the people and the places he knows. -He and her get along well from the start. He likes how smart she is for one thing. He really appreciates that. -His people should be constantly paranoid. -Maybe when they hear the music, the come up with some sort of mythological explanation, like Sirens luring somebody to their death. -Many successful men on Homeworld are bullies. -Beatings happen often there. If they are unhappy with one of their own, they beat him up. Individuals don‟t tend to be well-developed, endorsing simple measures. They also tend to all be in agreement when this happens, making it easier. -He liked to think that she was his girl, like he was her only male friend. He learns this is wrong. She has many male and female friends, as they tend to on Barren. -What about duty, value, and roles? The Homeworlders really walk all over the Barreners, and even though they do it using only a number of high-ranking troops, they are unbroken because they are “Good Citizens”. Once, he is on the job. They were taking a break to get back energy and eat. He looks up for a moment and likes the change in perspective. A peer working with him asks “Why are you doing this?” He is caught by surprise, and he isn‟t sure why he does it. He says “I don‟t know. It seemed interesting. Do you wonder why we tend to look one way instead of another?” His peer says “I don‟t know. Bring it to the superior.” He does, and he just says “We weren‟t created to look up. We‟re meant to look forward. Only look up when there is a reason to do it. There is an inherently wrong direction to orient yourself. There is one right way, and we do it.” “I heard from some of my co-workers that you left the trains to talk with a girl from Barren. If my personal friends know the police must know! Why are you letting one of those people to be your friends? You are not just putting your family in danger, you are putting all of us in danger by being in contact with one.” “Why do you do this? Is she cute? Is she offering you things?” “I like her because she‟s different. She is my best friend. I don‟t understand your fear. Her parents are here visiting officials, she isn‟t here to hurt anyone” “You don‟t understand. Even if she really is a good person, she can destroy things. I see she has already changed you.” -She might be using some kind of witchcraft on you. I have heard the gods have unimaginable powers, do you know if she is in league with them?

-Mom mentioned the theory that Barren might actually be the real rulers. Make this a Red Herring? [IT WOULD BE REVEALING TO GET TO KNOW SOME OF THESE PERSON‟S THOUGHT, AND WHAT HE THINKS SHE CAN DESTROY. USE EXAMPLES THAT HE THINKS ARE REAL.] - Earlier note: “Those who do not accept our beliefs are a short step from evil, and even if they do not accept some aspects of our beliefs, we should stop them before they harm by using severe action!” For a closed minded culture to go on, it must be strict. - Earlier note: Ludin believes in being a good person, but he starts having problems with authority and really starts considering things seriously around 15 years of age, but he also starts acting pretty mature. F is different from her peers while she is young, but she accepts her parents and authority on her world at this age, but she also acts less mature and stops pursuing knowledge. Her mother is the matriarch of her family, and start s going crazy about here. - Earlier note: F is in a family that partially adapted the values of Ludin‟s world. She has some younger siblings. F is of a common interracial blend. They have an estate at the center of a settlement. She is educated and open minded. She also plays a string instrument very well. -Show people in between, incLuding intentionally lesser evils. -Remember his imagination. It is active, but outwardly subdued. Show it in small things. -The Homeworlders have the term „Liar‟s eyes‟ for those who have unusual; eye structures. Their limited gene pool has common traits for everybody, and they can distinguish outsiders quite easily. - On Homeworld, the old are given the essential role of preserving things, just as they are often made to do in less advanced societies. They are allowed and expected to judge. -„Liar‟s eyes‟ A term used by homeworlders to describe foreigners. They can often tell differences very quickly, as they mostly have very common genes there. -“Where were you? What was more important than getting to work?” “An old woman fell down. I stopped help her.” “And you considered this more important? {slaps him} You‟re an idiot. There are others meant to help.” “She had been on the ground for a while and was calling for help. Nobody else did anything.” {slaps again} “I didn‟t ask for an excuse.”

At [15], he was picked for early conscription into service. It was mandatory for most boys to be conscripted at [17], but it was his father‟s and the state‟s desire to begin at the earliest possible age. His mother hoped he would be able to continue working instead. On his birthday, the police came to take him away on their own. Normally his parents would be expected to take him themselves to the camp between [16] and [17] and see him off o n his term in the military, but today the special black-suited police came, which meant there could be no objections. He was told his father‟s brother, who was already a veteran, would be his superior and, by the order of the state, his legal guardian. He never even met his uncle, but he had no choice. They took him on a military train into the thinner part of the city to a training installation.

The issues seem settled; tradition conquers. She is abiding by her mother and he is in the army. Come up again. Ludin‟s in form of coming out when kills uncle, Ulyphias in form of distressed life. -It is regarded as a regular thing for a young man to be raised two sets of guardians - his parents, then the army. When he is in the army, his parents are not supposed to have any control over him. - They brought him to a fenced in area with other boy youths, aged between [15] and [18] years. They sat on the ground. An old man with bad disposition gave a speech. The lines of it were “This is where you problem children will learn to forget everything I want you to. You will be perfect soldiers, like me and the rest of the two-billion man army!” Some of the more weak-minded kids cheered. Ludin looked very uncertain. Here he meets some new friends, and is introduced to the system. -the training should reflect the real purpose of the army. Peacekeeping, dirty work, and mental training. For one thing, nit much is taught about keeping yourself alive. Generals don‟t even know much about strategy. In camp, he was given propaganda- laced education and emotional, mental, and physical training. Many assumed he was retarded, because he was not talkative at all and seemed distant from everything. He seemed like one of those odd retardates with some great skills though, because he could focus very well on certain tasks. After [five months] he was assigned the role of marksman and of train specialist. His training afterward was concentrated on things related to these, which he excelled at. He objected to the army life at first, but he quickly learned not to object. -Before he entered training, he had never eaten meat. Until then, he usually ate gruel and mushrooms and other simple plant foods. When he was told that it was animal flesh he was eating, he felt very sick. -Earlier note: Ludin‟s early story could have a theme of the value of life.

Despite how he appeared, he proved his aptitude in the tasks he was given. His training officer suggested he be put into specialized training for the new flying vehicles on account of his expected passivity and his technical aptitude, but before [an hour] after the suggestion the officer received a call directly from the office of the special police denying acceptance, arguing he was too low in class and so surely such a person could not be worth it, and that a position on a space vessel would only enable a “possible risk to the state and to the nation‟s well being”. Months before his [16 th ] birthday, his officers found him sufficiently able and acceptable for duty. -Artillery division? He could find that the artillery that comes down during his first battle was actually their own.

Unlike most soldiers, he was not allowed to visit his home contact with his family. His officer was now his legal guardian, after all. In the Two Billion Man Army, officers are common. Every rank above Conscript had command over somebody, even though these positions of command had no real power until the level of captain, which meant command of over 200 soldiers. Ludin‟s uncle Besor had command of four soldiers. Besor was not kind, even to his nephew. Kind people did not rise in rank. -Between the age of 15 and his mid-twenties he learns to hate his country and becomes disgusted with his people, and he also learns more a few years after schooling than he did in all his time in school, because the schools are more about indoctrination than education, but through his connections to F he leans a lot. The disgust begins in the military school, and only increases. -Many on his world should show examples of manipulating religious interpretation to control them. -Marriage on Homeworld is arranged by community or family in order to have the people pair off based on pre-decided codes of behavior that maintain things in a specific way.

For a few months, Ludin was moved around the greater city. Until he started training, he never went far from home at all. He noticed how very similar all parts of the city were. They were like the same thing, but crafted differently. He was relived that his duties for the first few months were not violent. His group was used to construct large scale projects. His expertise in machines and his intelligence brought him respect among his friends, although he remained a quiet and unusual person. -The function of the army would be mostly dirty-work. Because of their huge size they are simply used as another labor force that can also be peacekeepers wherever they are working, and the purpose of fighting is actually to give them an enemy to be aggressive toward. When they are not fighting, It is standard for almost all young men to be conscripted sometime between 15 and 19, because if they are in the army they can be better controlled than if they lived without constant supervision. It is a historically major theme in the world that everything be done for safety, and threats are allegedly everywhere. So, the upkeep of the military is presented as one of the end results of the nation‟s effort. It is a sign of the culture that they don‟t believe women can spur revolution. The women of the culture are bred and raised to be docile, but I imagine that since so many young men are being watched and tightly controlled it is women that could bring on revolution. -Maybe now he meets this character: A studious and subjective scholar of the world, akin to a College Republican. He is like the intelligent but ignorant type of person that you see. His personality would be pretty intolerable to me. He is like an ambitious apprentice of the society. -Toward his uncle, he acts like a subdued dog. The threat of his authority is present. However, his uncle claims to love him like a son. At some point, his uncle starts sharing cigarettes with him. In some example moment, he goes up to his uncle with hands in his pockets and keeping his head low. He asks him for one in a way that indicates he is at his

mercy. He hoped that by showing his value outside of military roles, he could be accepted into a more peaceful job, even though he was assured that this would be totally impossible by his uncle. No matter what he did to prove his loyalty, his occasional contact with the Barren girl negated that. The army gave a young man little chance to do anything besides army things. His fondest time was when he guarded a depository of knowledge. (why it needed guards was not very clear) This place held books, mostly produced for the purpose of educating people for their careers, but some of the books were meant for other purposes. Deep in the back of rooms rarely used, there were useless books. These were books about the world as a while, books on philosophy, arts, history, and even fiction. They were apparently used very rarely, but sometimes they entertained Aristocrat‟s interests. [maybe they are also kept for some sort of posterity, since knowledge lost means it has to be relearned, and the civilization is meant to go forward eventually.] He heard from his Barrener friends that broad knowledge makes them smart, and he thought he could prove himself so he might go somewhere beside the army. He managed to get the assignment by finding out who guarded it, and then asking them all if he could have the job. Eventually he managed it. The guards really didn‟t need to guard, nobody even came to the place unless they were teachers or people on aristocrat business [The army is there in place of librarians, and they are meant to deter anybody like Ludin from pursuing knowledge.] He was able to stay a few weeks until it came to the attention of an official. It was stopped, and he was sent back to his unit. In those few weeks, he did become slightly more dangerous. He actually became more benign, sometimes quoting things his comrades never heard before. Now he was smarter, though, and this made the people he knew a little uncomfortable somehow. He became careful not to show it off anymore. Uliphya still visited with her parents during their business trips. Because they had connections, they could arrange their time for visits. Her siblings wouldn‟t come anymore, just her. She explained she wished to be smarter, and the trips were so beneficial. The actual bulk of it was that her mother wanted her to absorb the culture and learn how she wanted her to live. She revealed once that she pities how sad he usually seemed, especially since his conscription. When he was [16 2/3] he was sent to the front, and these visits suddenly stopped. -Turbulent cheers rocked the station as soldiers piled into the trains. They sent him to a place outside the city. For the first time, he was not surrounded by buildings, and he could see stars. {point out direction and location too} They were in a military zone to fight the barbarian threat. Only 1/3 of the world had barbarians, but apparently they were very dangerous. Millions of soldiers were stationed here constantly to guard the borders and the outlying boundaries of the country. There was a line of fortresses creating a solid line. These fortresses were never actually attacked while Ludin was there, though from the vicious enemies he would have expected frequent assaults. He found the stars very interesting. In Homeworld beliefs, the stars are explained as just Spikts of things from the emptiness outside the world. That kind if is what stars are, but

they don‟t go deeper than the description above. He looks at the stars often, unlike any of his comrades. He is asked why he looks at them by a veteran officer, and he lies that he is afraid is watching for dangers. The officer says that‟s natural, and reminds him, thinking of himself as a wise old person giving insight to a youth, to remember to focus on the pressing danger when it is near. Ironically snipers are supposed to be aware of all their surroundings. - Ludin has feelings of appreciation for life, but his experiences during his teen and early adult years trained him to be more brutal in action. - Gains some confidence during service. Being in this kind of situation forces him to take action on things, and into adult situations. -Ludin would have been a conformist, right-wing sort of person, but he was introduced to radical new things early in age. Now he has to live with people he isn‟t very similar to, and who would be very threatening if he voiced the things he‟s learned. -The army always has group prayers before doing anything big. -Out here is the first time he sees the unobstructed sun. The first thing he says about it is that he doesn‟t like it. He says it feels uncomfortable, that it feels like it‟s bearing down on him aggressively, and it changes things more than he likes. When he first sets eyes on it, somebody yells at him that he needs to learn not to stare or it will kill his eyes. The Army made frequent violent raids, apparently to keep the enemy on the defensive. Ludin had no grasp of the big idea, but he was told he didn‟t need one. Eventually, he was sent on one of these raids. There were twenty thousand soldiers on this raid. They were instructed to obliterate a small inland town for some impudence. The raid party moved in quickly on boats. The town didn‟t look large enough to have even ten thousand citizens in it. The other soldiers attacked furiously, screaming and destroying things like mad, even though more people were running away than were fighting back. At some point, explosive artillery came down all around the town for about [half a minute], and then stopped. Afterwards, the soldiers killed all the civilians in sight and burned everything. The whole time, Ludin was guarding a possible escape rout. He didn‟t guard it well, though. He thought it was strange when the shots came down. He was told it was the enemy, firing on their own vIllimisge to kill the Army men. It seemed strange how brief the shooting was, in that case. Ludin decided he would ignore it anyway. -The generals and commanders aren‟t better qualified if they know about strategy. They are put in positions for reasons of family and personal status with the government. Their job is mostly managing and disciplining their platoons. They are told the actions of the military are aggresice defence, and that anylists believe an actual invasion would be disasterous (which it could be, since the army would likely fall apart since it is in no way adaptable to such changes). -The weapons are not designed to be particularly efficient or effective, but to make soldiers feel powerful and to allow them to go berserk. For example, the rifles, rather than being bolt-action, are lever action. This allows them to be fired faster. Aside from rifles, they have a large revolver kinf of rifle that can shoot shotgun shells or a powerful slug to

penetrate anything their enemies hide behind. Machine guns are all fireable while walking. Many weapons, as a reflection of their brutal purpose, have bayonets. Every weapon has attachments, even machineguns and pistols and all rifles. Maybe many common infantry weapons are designed to double as effective close-combat weapons. Maybe there is a long revolver that has a bayonet attachment on the front and a handle that is at 45 degrees to the barrel, to make it like a sort of half-sword. All bayonets are the same, fitting in standard holders and being the same size. -The organization of the army is very simple. The smallest group is of two to 30 men, and it is referred to as a “twelfth platoon”. Ludin‟s is 7 strong and run by Besor, and he takes orders from a commander of an “eleventh platoon”. This commander has his own soldiers under his direct command, and he has some small powers over the lower groups designated to him. He manages small things such as individual soldier placements as well as particular management, and when a commander dies he can choose his replacement. It goes up like this until it reaches the generals. The system of ranks is designed for ease of management instead of efficiency or power. Generals have eleven rungs below them, and above them are aristocrats. The aristocrats essentially have their own armies, as they are individually empowered with millions of soldiers. The purpose of this is again ease of management, but it would be very simple to have complete control over their soldiers under the right circumstances. They haven‟t been given reason to do that ever, yet. -Maybe he should have more bad qualities right now, a small one being buried loathing. -On homeworld, they have the phrase “All who wander are lost.” -At times, does things in a somewhat sarcastic way, such as saying “I accept everything my masters say” - The weapons are low maintenance, user friendly, and able to be used for things other than shooting. This design is not just for cost-effectiveness by enabling soldiers to maintain their own weapons, but also for enabling the rebels who capture the weapons. It is part of their manipulation to keep enemies threatening. War is an integral part of the nation. The larger weapons all have a sort of metal bar under slung beneath the barrel, which can have biopods, bayonets/axes, or other attachments attached to them. The rod is also hollowed so as to hold a cleaning rod within. The bar is just far enough below the run so fingers can fit.

Later, he was used in guard actions against an enemy that Ludin could see was dangerous. They were bandits and dissidents apparently, and they lived within the borders of the country. These people lived among the inhospitable lands that cities weren‟t built on. He didn‟t know who they actually were, but he knew they wanted to kill him. When he was [17], he killed somebody for the first time. This person had a gun, and was shooting at one of Ludin‟s comrades. He was behind a rock, but Ludin waited for him to reveal his head and he shot the man with his rifle. He saw him die, and this troubled Ludin all night. This person was trying to kill his comrades, but wasn‟t Ludin trying to kill this man‟s comrades? It would seem they had the same reasons for killing each other in the first place, the defence of their own comrades. [I LIKE HOW THIS IS REDUCED TO THE MOST BASIC ELEMENT RATHER THAN THE LARGER ELEMENT OF DEFENDING SOME UNKNOWN.] But why was this person fighting in the first place? Why was Ludin himself fighting in the first place? His superiors told him

the enemy was horribly cruel, atrocious, and the worst threat to the state. Ludin didn‟t trust the state completely. In his experience, they were publicly touchy on the subject of the people from Barren, yet in practice they didn‟t like them at all. Were the people he worked for contradicting themselves? Ludin wondered what it would be like If he met the person he killed, and if he would want to kill them. Just as he told himself when he was [six] and he started questioning things, he told himself that the world works in mysterious ways and once he‟s an adult it will all make sense. He had respect for his elders, as his mother taught him. Whenever an acquaintance connected closely to them dies, they have a mourning ceremony. Usually, after acting solemn they just jump right back into things without anything unexpected of them. Ludin stays pensive, unlike any of them. - earlier note: Was quite kindly when younger, but consigned to a sort of unquestioned indifference in some regards, such as murder being acceptable if it's done to another as a soldier. He understood that these people weren't different from him, but he ignores this (since he feels he can't defeat the morality at the time?) -Some soldier tells him about what he learned from an enemy. The soldier has learned about things, but makes the mistake of trying to teach Besor. Besor kills him. Besor says that even though he was innocent and dilusional, he was more dangerous than any enemy outside of the country. -Another purpose of the military is to keep the people of other nations from becoming powerful and creating a competing civilization. He continued this philosophy until he was [eighteen]. He had an attitude of acceptance of the world around him, supposing that wisdom and answers will come later, but he was growing increasingly dissatisfied. He followed orders and carried to daily activities numbly. He still hadn‟t seen his parents or his alien friend. [IN HOW MANY YEARS?] He had seen the comrades in his original group die, and whenever a member of a group dies the remaining members are combined with another short group so experience is combined. His uncle was still his officer. He killed and pillaged like the other soldiers now, though without the same enthusiasm. One night, he found his uncle Besor doing cruel things to a girl. They were in an enemy town. Their battle group was camping there for the night. Besor had her locked with him in a basement. He had called Ludin down to invite him to join. He sa w the girl on the floor abused, and his uncle was smiling and telling him she was his now, he could do what he wanted with her. Ludin was staring at nothing. His uncle was patient with him for once, believing he was considering the great opportunity he was presented with. Before his uncle knew it, he drew a revolver and shot his uncle three times. {His feelings came back. Also, he looks ugly for once, because with all the feeling rage at his uncle and the world comes.} He then told the girl, who (for resons he didn‟t know) surprisingly knew his language, that he would help her leave but he wanted to know some things. [here he leans some things. She was a dissident, and she ran out of the nation to escape. Most of the world outside of the Aristocracy is made of people like her. The army could destroy them, but instead they just make very aggressive moves and then leave. It is the

only possible life beside living in the Aristocracy. Etc.] She explained she was a dissident from his own country, and that she came here because there is no place else to escape to. She suggested that he leave with her. He declined, saying he was too afraid. (He picked up his uncles cigarettes and lit one. Smokers seemed to enjoy them in times of stress.) He walked her out of the town, dodging soldiers. (Few were on patrol, since it is actually unnecessary. The ones that were didn‟t do it well, since the soldiers have little reason intraining to be taught how to do their work efficiently) He knew first hand that he would be at the mercy of the Aristocracy if he were to try hiding. [YOU MIGHT MENTION ALSO HIS FEAR OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH HIS FAMILY.] -His uncle is doing something that is not considered immoral for his people but that we and the people on F‟s would consider very immoral. When she was finally away, he looked up to the star that was actually the world of Barren and wondered what would happen now. His comrades would not consider his uncle‟s actions badly as they were considered in his mind; in fact this was common in the army. He wasn‟t sure if what he did was justifiable. His uncle certainly meant to kill her later. He wasn‟t sure how he felt. The next day he reported to his comrades that his uncle was attacked and killed by a survivor that was hiding out. He showed them an already dead body and claimed it was the corpse of the assassin, and also showed them Besor‟s body. His comrades accepted this totally. -Until he meets and talks to that girl, he tells himself the people they are fighting may be as bad as they say, and he ignores the fact that his people were wrong about Barreners. Until that event, he was going along with everything like the others, and any occasional outbursts inside were silenced, usually ending in some kind of frustrated and violent burst. -Nobody cares about or looks into the murder. He and his uncle are that obscure. [OKAY. MAKE SURE THE READER UNDERSTANDS THAT. BUT STILL, THEY ARE IN THE ARMED FORCE, AND THINGS LIKE LOSING A SOLDIER ARE NOT TAKEN LIGHTLY. THAT SOCIETY ESPECIALLY SEEMS TO DEM AND SERVICE FROM ITS PEOPLE.] The troops in the army are considered quite disposable, and nobody was suspicious of him. -At this point, maybe he actually should have strong feeling of rebellion and of changing the world. Gradually does he see how useless it would be to try. Even before he met his Barrener friends, he felt like something was wrong. He was very uncertain about things, and just rolled with it. The incident with his uncle forced him to make up his mind. Now he is still uncertain about morality and truth, but in a world where he must essentially live one way or the other, he has chosen the unsafe path because he knows the other is wrong. Now he means to do something to change the world, or at least he means to separate the truths from the lies he has been told. One lie is that there is good, being the way of the Aristocracy, and evil, being everything outside the Aristocracy. He doesn‟t feel like the Arostocracy is totally evil and everything else is good, because among the bad things in the Aristocracy he knows they are very peaceful internally, and some fair justice exists.

As he learns more about the way it works, however, he hates it more. He appreciates many things in the culture of foreign people, but he is aware they can do bad things as well. He goes into the metropolis to find a place of safety and to try and get help from the people on Barren. After he sees the futility of trying to rebel and the costs (more than money) of it, and with convincing from the Barren friends, he decides to just run away with them. -He has heard of militantism from his Barren friends, how people have banded together against conquerors when they were unhappy with them. It happened in their past, and it is common in places where the Aristocracy asserts itself. - He doesn‟t reveal the murder to his friends. She feels like he had a tough and dissident history, but she isn‟t aware of how far he‟s gone. In concern to his military history, she mostly feels like somebody in this time would when they hear someone is a soldier. -How is Ludin on religion? Since religion is the thing that keeps people in check even after they find fault with things, Ludin should be somewhat beyond it. Before he met the siblings, he didn‟t have religion programmed into him. His mother was never common mentally, though she never actually went far enough to endanger herself or her family. Unlike other peasants, she didn‟t try to drill anything into his mind. Consequently, he was at least neutral about religion from the first. He is an unacknowledged atheist at this point. -He finds out later that several soldiers conducted a ruthless but short and ineffective investigation afterward, killing several more civilians and some prisoners. -He committed a murder. Something more should happen from that. - after somebody dies on that world they are still told what to do by some “death authority” (should be an old person) who carries out the ceremonies while telling the dead person to do they things that they make the body do (such as “go underground”) as if it were still responsive to authority. -The part of the world that these people live on is very inhospitable. That is part of the reason they have not been taken over (the leaders are too lazy to do it). They are slowly working it into a civilization, building it up and becoming something more than a bunch of people. The death of his officer and former guardian made things very difficult. Ludin now had control of his group, but he did not want the duties expected of him. All the soldiers under him would now scrutinize his actions. It was a landslide of pressure for this man who didn‟t even like hurting animals. It was the day after killing Besor that he began his plot to escape. He was afraid he would throw his life away, but the alternatives were either brief freedom or an unbearable life as an animal. By escaping to whatever there was outside of there, he might eventually have some sort of satisfaction and answers. Move somewhere. He considered that among the billions of powerless people, he was one of the few who had weapons, technical expertise, and foreign friends. He didn‟t know what to do, but he was done accepting the world. He would leave the army, but he knew it was futile to live in an outside country. considered trying to change the people from within society, but he realized that it would be impossible and revealing himself would get him killed.

He convinced his superior to allow him a visit into the city, claiming he needed to set his affairs in order now that his uncle was dead. The manager was unusually understanding, but it was true that Ludin was a soldier in a war, and the war was going on since the beginning of (his) known history. He took a boat into the city instead of a train because the many seas ran parallel to each other in an east-west direction, and he was stationed west of the metropolis. The train would be faster, but he wanted to avoid anybody he knew. (and he was afraid to face his comrades) -Truly alone -It would make more sense if he learned about traveling stealthily from a rebel. [A Week] later the boat arrived near a train depot, where he was meant to take a train to an administrative building. Instead, he wandered into an empty building where they kept broken trains. Ludin disassembled and scattered his rifle a nd equipment and put on the bland clothes civilians wore. He didn‟t steal the clothes, because he knew it would inconvenience somebody. He wore his own. He kept his revolver in his jacket and bullets in his pocket. Every citizen had to carry a small book o f identification papers, he dropped these in mud and tore some bits of paper off. Some other little items were in his pocket, such as a military multitool. His uniform was burned. He was now a mostly anonymous thing. {For the first time ever, he actually has some freedom of choice now. He still has limitations, but the state isn‟t telling him what to do.} He hopped onto a train bound for a close friend‟s neighborhood. When a train conductor inevitably began walking through his car and checking papers, Ludin was able to move behind other people and avoid him. [Trains there were wider and passengers often stood close together] Train conductors often had hundreds of people to check, so they were quick instead of thorough. He remained uncaught by picking the most crowded cars. What does he eat during these weeks of traveling? Eventually he got into the thicker part of the metropolis. The only refuge was in a place of disease, a bunkhouse where the contagious aliling who could not be treated were sick and nobody could take care of them they were dead to the world until they were fortunate enough to get over it. While he was in his lonely room, he considered his position again. No friends remained to help him. He didn‟t know why Uliphya left, the only friend he might have trusted has betrayed him, he cannot return to his parents, the military he was a part of is pursuing him, all of his other friends are still in the military. At that moment, it was obvious police would know about him. Luckily, they would sooner look in his old home and in the homes of his contacts than in a poor persons asylum. The next morning, with things looking grim, he decided he would wander the Asylums until he found some sort of opportunity. Taking trains and boats seemed inconsiderable, since the police might know about him now. AMONG BILLIONS OF PEOPLE? WAS HE THE ONLY ONE WHO WENT

AWOL? ARE THERE NO OTHER CRIMINALS SUCH AS RAPISTS AND MURDERERS AND KIDNAPPERS THAT PEOPLE WOULD RECOGNIZE? (A wrongful fear, since AWOL soldiers are expected to run to the foreign lands. because people so often fall in line, crimes are low and most criminals are found because of the tight police forces.) He continued to stay at free, disease-ridden poor houses. (Becoming sick is like becoming an outcast. Anybody different is thought to have problems, and when the problems are biological they are sent to these places to die or get cured.) He found from a very elderly woman that these houses didn‟t exist until Homeworld made contact with Barreners. He also found out that Barren was first contacted over [100 years ago], but not why or how. One night in one of these places, he met a woman named Illimis. She came to him and said she guessed he was there for reasons other than being sick by his behavior and health. (They were drawn to each other by their similarities. They were both smart, and working toward similar things. She was not being pursued, but she might be in a worse state were she a man. She talked about her opinions on the state, and about how she serviced this place because the officials and the patients mostly ignored her. She was in the poor house to help others, and not just the sick. In this poor house and some others Ludin visited, dissenters usually gathered, mostly young women. Ludin found that one of the true purpose of the military was to teach men to fall in place while they were young. [When the system of living on this world was finally changed, it was because the timidity of women was overestimated.] After she decided to trust him, Illimis introduced Ludin to other people like him. Unlike before, he felt secure with these people. The men in the group were never soldiers; none of their families were so common that they had to join, so they were men of mechanical work and positions of management. The women were also from plain backgrounds, and like other women they either had dull jobs or they were married. Ludin found dependable friends in them, and he shared his past and his plans. The men, never having been disciplined, were all eager to go with him, and so were some of the women. He left the day after meeting them with six companions, three men and three women, including Illimis. The trip was much easier now, because they could base their trips around the various refuges. Most people in the metropolis were ignorant about what happened outside their neighborhood, [I WANT TO HAVE A SOLID IDEA OF HOW MANY PEOPLE LIVE IN A NEIGHBORHOOD] [A neighborhood is just supposed to be a general area where people socialize, like one island or district of governance. A neighborhood could have ten thousand.], so they would go from one refuge to another, learning about the next leg of the trip from the ones they visited. In each poorhouse they learned a little more about how they might get off the planet. The news about them slowly grew. There was an acknowledged consensus in the group that Ludin was the leader. He didn‟t want to lead at all, but he knew the most about how their enemies operated and thought, plus he had a weapon while the companions never eve n touched one. -The diseases in the poor houses are mostly sexually transmitted. The careful control over the people meant diseases were eradicated or cured quickly, but STDs stayed because the conservative government does not give education on that and it is a rare topic. Because most of the diseases are sexual and because he gained some resistances after gaining

diseases from Barreners, he stays safe. -He fears it would be hopeless to try and make a major difference. He wants to but doesn‟t do that much himself, and much later that world seems relatively insignificant so he does not return. -Being different enough is regarded as a disease, and these places are built partially for those sorts. -He is rumored about as someone who “sticks it to the man”, not necessarily as a noble hero. He‟s appreciated for what he does and also for things people imagine he does. Ludin carried a sniper officer‟s revolver. They were the same as other long-range pistols, except it had and inlaid copper design and was not a military hand- me-down like other weapons. It was a tradition for families to display the trophies of their men‟s accomplishments, a decorated revolver was a symbol of trustworthiness that could be displayed above the fireplace if the family was loyal eno ugh to keep it. He stressed to his friends that he didn‟t prefer it for its status, he preferred it for its quality. As they drew closer to the spaceport, they learned about a significant movement that could help them. Rumors circulated about a man who offered refuge within the city. He recently returned from an exodus to the foreign countries, and was one of the most wanted men by the state. and he was also seeking a ship to own. Joining his association and getting his help was the next obvious course of action. They were sent to an apartment building instead of a poor house. It was between a river and the street, and looked completely typical from the outside. Ludin went inside while the others stayed out, considering it might some sort of trap. Ludin went to the apartment number he was given. Inside he saw one man alone in a room. [Perhaps here he is given a loyalty test, but sees through it. It involves bringing the man to a spot very near a police station, and the idea is that he could give the agent to the police or moving on to the next place. After they pass, Ludin points out why it‟s such a terrible test.] They were led from this place to a new building. This building was also a plain apartment structure, although it was set in higher ground. They were brought to a sub-basement, and then through a door labeled for service and maintenance. They walked into a large and unattractive room. It was directly above the water level, and the sound of water was always present. The rebels turned it into a headquarters, though most of the available space was used to house Spikt and other regular rebels. Spikt welcomed them and let them know about the things he heard. He said he didn‟t accept them for their wish to deviate alone, but because he hoped Ludin could get help from Barreners. He expressed that help from these mythologized aliens could bring so much help to them. [He actually wants Barreners because their speed and skillfulness can help him steal more.] The hideout is like something from the TV show Secret Passages. It was specifically built as a secret place. Maybe it started as a sort of hole dug out to horde things in, and the person who built it originally was prolific enough to expand it. That

person eventually met Spikt, as their enterprises drew them together. The one who made it is the matriarch of the related families in the apartment building. He uses his family for more criminal enterprise. Spikt is a major member of his mafia, just below the ranks of his family. He manages what ahppens in the now expanded hideout and runs things for him. Many people are brought in because it's one few refuges, and they are eventually made to participate in the criminal acts or else do work for the family. The children in the family are kept from knowing about the criminality until they are able to be trusted. The patriarch who leads it began doing somewhat illegal things in the army, and he continued to do it after returning home. He is does not fear the same things the other people of the country do, but he doesn't embrace these things either. His own elders are mostly dead, but the people in his family who are a risk are usually neutralized one way or another (he usually does things to put them far away forever. Maybe the protagonists meet one of these people on Barren, who was sent there with the army by the Matriarch's request. In fact, suggesting to the army that certain people need to be in it may be one of his more common ways of getting rid of people.). Bring out how all this is an example of what happens in this sort of society. "My life was there's, but I'm making my own life now. I have taken it onto myself." They settled down in the hideout. Beds were improvised using materials, they didn‟t need much since they brought few possessions. They seeded the nutritious moss in buckets of water, growing their own gruel. They were taught about the many routs to their place, and that the basement entrance was only used because the others are harder to remember and they needed to be taught about those. They learned that their host was forced to flee from the country after he became an infamous character and the state slandered him with lies. [Here he is lying about the degree of his fame and about his actual reasons for being a wanted criminal. He was a thief and murderer, and he ran at age [22]] He learned about things from foreigners [and he gained the little ideals he had from here], and then he returned to the country to undermine the Aristocracy and bring life to revolution. [He is basically a false character; he manipulates the mostly simple people under him so he can gain personal power. Like Ludin, he is smarter than average citizens but this is because he is from a foreign country, a fact he doesn‟t reveal to many.] With the seven new recruits, the permanent residents formed a group of 15. With contacts included in the plotting they numbered about a hundred, and with potential contacts they numbered about two hundred. Spikt enjoyed his position as leader, but he treated Ludin as the second highest in the hierarchy because he had the most experience and only he had contacts with Barreners. He became an underground hero, but only among the people in the same racket in their neighborhood. {Ludin was sent out on tasks with other dissenters, mostly doing simple crimes such as stealing things for their living and cover up their own tracks, but a number of tasks were about contacting Barren. He eventually found a way to contact his military friends, and called them (After collecting the numbers from a military directory and breaking into an official‟s office) under the guise of family calls and asked them general questions and ambiguous information to the ones willing to help. He managed to get the help of one officer who sends a letter in a mail shipment to a headquarters on Barren (even though

the Aristocracy has walked all over Homeworld, they bring some things such as an expensive mail service, which was already supplied for practically nothing by the migratory people) The letter arrives in an official fashion at the house about two weeks after being sent, and the high charge is paid for since it is demanded. The letter is a lengthy piece that is the words of Ludin after being transcribed to the military friend over the phone. Ludin describes his times in brief, laments over Uliphya‟s disappearance from his life, and he describes in detail his current location and actions and begs her to do anything for him that could help such as politics, but in particular coming or sending help. F herself at this time has been acting very different, like momma‟s girl. She does this to keep her mother, who is becoming insane, happy. She accepts things more blindly than she did when she was younger and she barely uses her education and abandons her better qualities to live loosely and seek fast pleasures because she feels her life as it was before the parent‟s divorce is irretrievable, since her life has been taken over by others. The reasons for her behavior are not yet decided, but it may be that her siblings and friends distanced from her when their mother chose her to be the one she imparts her values on (she does this because she is the eldest daughter, her eldest son is too rebellious to stay.) She fell into the lifestyle, using her good looks for instance to get more. Now she is actually very sad to see how things are going because her crazy mother is controlling her life, and she is especially sad when she reads the letter. She really wants to go and join Ludin and maybe even run away with him forever, but she simply can‟t do that herself. The letter is shared with everybody in the family and her brother decides he will join Ludin in leaving since he is as tired with the place as she is but able to leave. Her brother also brings two like- minded male friends and a female friend. They tell the Homeworld people they want to explore business opportunities on Homeworld and they get a ride in a ship. Once they land, they take a train to the place and show up outside the apartment building that is above the hideout. They hung out there for a while, and many locals spotted them. The police were informed as well, and that report seeded an investigation of the area and several individuals the police knew to be in the area, which would later become the investigation that catches them} -Look up the actual practices of partisans and other rebels. -Express in places that Barren isn‟t actually held by the Homeworld, but the Homeworld is the largest presence there. They are turning the society into dependants, but most of civilization on Barren is in small, self- governing pockets, which mostly have Homeworld connecting them together. -After a little while, the Barreners there have difficulty adapting to the new conditions. They are starving, even though they eat more than the others (their metabolism needs lots of meat) They hate the confined quarters. After half an hour, they were spotted by someone retuning to the hideout. Ten minutes later Ludin personally showed up and brought them in through the apartment entrance. Spikt was joyful, but Ludin was happier. With the help of these able friends, he could accomplish goals much more easily. They made everybody uneasy except Ludin, they looked very different (everybody basically looked the same on Homeworld with black hair, dark blue eyes, similar height, and practically identical skin) and acted differently. (The Barren women are as tall as Homeworld men, and the Homeworld men are usually

at least three inches taller than the women, so Homeworld women are under two thirds the height of Barren men.) They told them they were there to help as long as they got help in exchange getting a took a ship that could travel to a different star, and not specifically to help anybody‟s cause, which created some distance between them and the others since most of them couldn‟t imagine actually leaving their home world and since this made the Berreners mercenaries in a way (Ludin wasn‟t sure if he wanted to go to a new star, but changes his mind eventually. The four Barreners were partially drawn by a great want to know what was out there). Uliphya‟s oldest brother told Ludin later that he was willing to help him because his sister wasn‟t able to help, and she was very worried about him. He brings up the question of if Ludin is really friends with her or if he just wants her help, and if he just likes her because she is pretty. Ludin says he never noticed if she was pretty since he hasn‟t seen her for years, and he promises she is his most treasured friend ever for many reasons. (He proves this over time) He spe nt hours explaining to him the events since the last time she met. She could not meet him because her mother kept her close, and the trips stopped to his planet stopped when his country extended into the town by making it a center of government which covered about a thousand miles. He was as interested in leaving the planet as his fellows, but he would take care of Ludin for his sister. -Over time, Illimis begins to put pressure on Spikt. She sees through him better than anybody. She became Ludin‟s friend when there was nobody there for him, so she and him are good friends. In the same way the Barreners changed him from the others when he was only a little different, he changes her when he tells her about his own experiences and shares knowledge (He doesn‟t share the murder though. He feels like the murder was no worse than the ones he was made to commit in battle, but he knows others won‟t feel the same.) Over time, she sees through Spikt even better, better than Ludin, and she eventually takes his place. Even though she and Ludin are friends, he never has any desire to start romance with her. He never had things like love on his mind. -There is some conflict with Ludin and the others about how he can‟t stand the world, while the others mostly can‟t imagine leaving or making it totally different. -How does religion work into this? The peasants have been raised conservative and follow a religion, and in fact Ludin is the only one of them who is actually Atheist. Maybe Spikt is a religious leader as well, claiming he learned god is on his side because the government has become corrupt and lost the way. Maybe he also claims that their socialization with the Barreners is part of it, and perhaps he also claims the barreners who came are exceptions from the others of their kind. When Illimis takes over, the whole group might become unruly, but then they could somehow be kept in check by her careful planning, and that planning might involve the power of the Barreners. -The older brother has been a rebel since youth. Although Barreners are similar in appearance to 18- late 20 year olds until their [late 40s], he looks more grizzled. His face is alittle rougher, because he has spent time in the desert. He isn‟t so bad that he‟s killed anyone yet, but he does that later. -Illimis could be an “uppity woman”, like some of the women in history from strict societies who acted controversially. She might even believe in having a loving, maybe even sexual, relationship without marrying first. Ludin has deep feelings of apprecia tion for his close friends, maybe even as strong as love, but from what he has learned about

love in his society and since the event where he killed his uncle, he doesn‟t love. -Illimis is uncomfortable with these people as well, but she learns to think o f them in the same way as other people of her country with some help from Ludin. -The brothers tail is pierced for a knife. Bring up their tails more. -There is not room for imagination on Homeworld, especially not for art and other such things. -Spikt wants Ludin‟s appreciation, but his reactions to him are logical but seemingly simple at the same time. Whenever Spikt makes a gesture or says things meant to impress, Ludin is unconvinced but still talks and uses simply structured sense (but, again, it‟s sense biased in an uncommon way and with knowledge behind it.). The new visitors settled into the underground hideout, but they were very uncomfortable. Their world was mostly desert, so their own lifestyle was very different. The skies were usually clear during the daylight half of the year, but on Homeworld the hazy clouds above the central metropolis rarely ever left, and they constantly drizzled but rarely poured. The city was very confined, so confined that many parts were built over others and roads were built over others creating the feeling of being in a tunnel. The quarters they lived in were very cramped, since all that could be done once they arrived was empty some small closets full of pipes. They brought some birds with them to compensate for the lack of meat they could get, and these were kept in coops and fed the same gruel the people ate. Ludin tried an egg once and was unsure what to think of it. He knew how babies were made, but he had no idea how it worked for birds. The Barrener who gave it to him felt like assureing him it didn‟t work the same for his species. Ludin didn‟t know if it counted as meat or not, so he reasoned that if it wasn‟t alive yet it can‟t die so he ate it anyway. His friends considered it a good imitation of a luxury. The Barrener‟s possessions and presence was very entertaining, since the most entertaining thing until then was a stolen radio they used to eavesdrop on conversations. Even though they lived under pressure, they were the most entertained peasants in the metropolis. -Ludin learns a lot about things from his arrived friends. Previously, he knew next to nothing about history. The date is only known by officials and Aristocrats and a few other people who actually need to know. He learns about the Barrener‟s version of history from the older brother, but his own planet‟s history is still pretty mysterious to him. He learns more about cultures and other people as well. One thing about Barreners is that they generally don‟t use money with assigned value, their pla net never had a united power running it and so no common currency was spread. With the daily (meaning yearly) migrations of nomads as a source, trade and exchange was unregulated, so barter continued even after Homeworld people arrived. While most of his p eers wouldn‟t even be interested in the universe outside, he was happy to expand his horizons, and he wanted to leave the place even more. -the barrener‟s presence contradict the belief that they are bad people -Everybody hoped they might be ale to make anything possible with just their presence. Many thought they might be able to get weapons and use them to change the world. An invasion does come, but much later and too late. The Barreners were quite tolerable with the company they were among to begin with, but

the hosts (except for Ludin) didn‟t relax for a while. The Barreners proved their trustworthiness when they went with on an outing to learn about their setting. They could move as quietly as anything, and twice as quickly as anybody. Spikt was pleased in particular. The next day they were sent to steal more, which they did with proficiency. They were restless, though. They insisted, with some undertones, that they see some progress on their goal. Spikt assured them he was forming a plan. Unlike the other conspirators, they didn‟t accept his assurances very easily. They went to Ludin next and asked him what he would do if he was leader. He told them he didn‟t want to give orders to anybody, but that Illimis had ideas. They couldn‟t consider becoming leaders themselves and they had no place else to go, so they went to her. They let her tell them what to do from then on instead of Spikt. They worked best on their own already, so she became their leader. Now that the "super people" were following her, the advantages came to her and Spikt began losing his influence. -The thing about Barreners is that their planet had a lot more radiation and difficult conditions (They are all humans too, but they evolved more dramatically.) Besides some mental characteristics (such as a low likelihood of neuroticism), they have better senses, develop motor skills quicker, have darker skin, different hair colors, much slower aging (they look young until they near old age, when they age dramatically) and they are faster in movement and reflexes. The drawback for them is their fast metabolism. They move about twice as fast, but live half as long. A peasant on Homeworld can live to be a hundred, but a Barrener doesn‟t live long past [50]. Additionally, they come from a world with less gravity, so at this point they can move faster and farther than even on their own world. (Sexual dimorphism is said to depend on paternal investment in parenting. This subspecies has more paternal investment, since their higher number of children needs more work. -Ludin‟s cigarettes are sort of an unintentional sign of stature, bringing prestige. They are usually used as cheap rewards to citizens doing exceptional work for the state, and they work well since they are addictive. He loots them from offices of officials. This unintentionally impresses others. -Since in this society nobody talks about sex and it is only permitted after marriage, I think there might be a large number of gays. Maybe a number of the sincere rebels would be gays who can‟t even talk about it with anybody else. Over time, they had gathered plenty of information from files and records to bring the conspiracy forward. Illimis took it on herself to form a plan, with help from Ludin. The first they considered was a complicated one of planting documents and creating personas for themselves within military records and then arranging through deception a way to get themselves on a ship and then steal it. (This would be easier than it seems, since people in the Aristocracy simply trust each other. If ever asked why they wanted to go to Homeworld by an official, they could claim they wish to be heroic). The second plan involved stealth, which would be simpler than the first plan but less likely to succeed. The third plan would be asking all of their friends and contacts for favors that could bring them onto a ship in a legal way. Nobody thought that could work. The fourth plan involved braking into or sneaking into a spaceport, getting as close to a ship as they could, then running into it and winging it from there.

TAKEN FROM EARLIER SPOT: He eventually came to the home of his friend, Thersu. He was an engineer Ludin worked with before. In the [months] since they parted, Thersu was relieved of his military duties and became a regular engineer. His family was always loyal, and he was a more than competent worker so his military career didn‟t last very long at all. Thersu lived in a small apartment with his wife. [Marriage is quick on Homeworld. Men are expected to marry as soon as they are employed.] The apartment was on the first floor of a street that had another below it and one above. Ludin approached apprehensively, but once Thersu greeted him Ludin was rather bold. There was no place else he could go. “Ludin? Good morning! Where have you been?” Ludin spoke very seriously: “Are you a completely loyal adherent to the Aristocracy?” [WHAT A STRANGE GREETING! HE SURE DIDN‟T WASTE ANY TIME!] -Throughout a good portion of this conversation, he is unsure if Ludin is an officer testing him or genuine. Now Thersu looked confused and worried “Of course! Yes! I have always been. Please tell me, what have I done that calls for the military to question me?” Ludin was worried now “If you are as loyal as you say, I am at your mercy. I have left the military on principle and I came because you are the only person who might be able to help me. If you are still my friend, I beg you will at least let me leave without telling anybody I came.” Thersu was relieved and he smiled now. “Ah. I exaggerated a little. I will always help my friends. If you‟re running from the law as you say you may come in, but only because you are a friend.” [THAT “I SUPPOSE” IS A LITTLE WISHY-WASHY AFTER HIS AFFIRMATION OF FRIENDSHIP.] “Thank you so much. I don‟t know where else I could go.” He walked into the apartment. There was a plastic pad with shoes and a hanger with coats next to the door. Although he never knew of people doing it before, he took off his shoes and jacket once he was in. [THAT‟S AN ODD THING CONSIDERING HE‟S NEVER KNOWN OF IT BEING DONE. I WONDER WHY THERSU HAD THEM THERE IF IT‟S THAT UNUSUAL A THING. HMMMM….] It‟s a class difference. He has always lived in a very poor and dirty home and he never saw an upper-lower class place. It‟s because of his broad knowledge and his intuition that he figured out not to wear his shoes in the clean apartment. “Take a seat.” They both sat down at the kitchen table. “Explain what horrible things you

have done to make you so fearful and tense.” “What? I haven‟t done anything horrible! Have they told you things about me?” Thersu chuckled. “No. I don‟t expect you‟ve done anything too bad. I know you wouldn‟t. You‟re here because you don‟t fit into the army, right?” “Yes. That‟s it. Are people looking for me?” “No. You can calm down. I heard you deserted when I talked with our mutual friend Captain Schesi a few days ago, but we were just worried you would be so scared you might go hide among barbarians. You remember Captain Schesi, when he was High Sergeant of the platoon? He told me how the death of your uncle, god rest him, made you so upset and jittery. I suppose a person can only take the death of so many friends.” “Why were you so worried when I came to the door?” “Ah. Well, I thought you were an undercover man, and I was being tested. But I‟m absolutely sure you aren‟t though. Um, I‟m sure that you‟re just a citizen who merely didn‟t adapt to military life, which is very common and forgivable.” Ludin was more comfortable now. “I don‟t believe you‟re sure I‟m not. If I am, you could be arrested for letting me in. You‟re aware I‟m a traitor now, aren‟t you?” “Well, you haven‟t killed anyone or tried to hurt anything. Spreading lies? Right? You‟re just a friend who ran away because he knows he can‟t cope. Aren‟t you?” I‟m glad you still decided to stay with us all instead of running to a barbarian country. “I am. I would never try to hurt a friend or damage his reputation. I just want refuge.” “Yes, of course. You‟re just like the rest of us. You may have run away from duty, but you‟re a true countryman. I‟ll let you stay. You have a friend in me, even if you aren‟t a model of a man.” “Thank you. I might not need to stay for long, because I just need to know some things. First, do you know how I can get on a spacecraft?” “How far do you plan on running? Don‟t you think you might change you‟re mind eventually and stay?” “That is impossible now. As I said, I left on principle. I don‟t fit here anymore. I just want to leave.” “I didn‟t think you would give up so easily. I can tell you what I know, but first tell me: where do you expect to end up? Do you expect those gods would even allow someone

like you to travel with them? I can only wonder where this journey might end. Someplace strange, I‟m sure, where you will fit in even less.” “I have friends on Barren., but I have learned about the place and it isn‟t as different as you my think. I‟m told they actually have their own government and civilization. The place is different, but not inhabitable. Maybe adapting sounds impossible to you, but I want to risk it. If that world isn‟t good, I think there might actually be more worlds out there.” [BUT HE DID NOT ADAPT TO THE SERVICE AND DOES NOT SEEM CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT PUNISHMENT WILL COME TO HIS FAMILY— THE ONES WHO RAISED SUCH A REBEL.] -If they be gods, I will be humiliated. -I wil be happy if I was wrong about everything, but I would not regret my actions. Someone has manipulated me, and I‟m certain about who. “Well, I suppose you might know some things I don‟t. If you are really this confident, I‟ll tell you what I know about spacecraft. First of all, they travel to Homeworld from an unimaginable distance. Let me tell you the only way to possibly leave is with them. The only people I know of who are allowed on a vessel are military expeditions, and most go to Barren. The Aristocracy carefully controls which people are allowed.” “Where did these spacecraft come from originally?” “Is the past important to you? You always were some kind of historian. They are here, and they move people between worlds. The heavenly people use them. As far as I know, they were built here. All I am certain of is that only those who the aristocracy allows can leave.” “Have you ever met a Barrener?” “You know I don‟t socialize with anybody outside the Aristocracy.” “Do you know how I can talk to one? If the spacecraft are there, maybe they can bring me with them on a return trip.” “You are really pursuing this. So do you not belong to this nation anymore?” “I told you, I am a traitor. I belong to no place and no people. Just consider me a neutral being that will decide where it belongs later.” “Well, you can only get in contact with Barren through the authorities. I have no power to help you leave myself, but if I did I would help. You can stay here tonight, but not tomorrow. I hope this doesn‟t end badly.” Later his wife arrived at the apartment after working. Thersu shared Ludin‟s story with her in private. His wife was not as understanding, probably because she was not friends

with Ludin. She explained that being soft on traitors and deviants allows them to spread, and that he was a danger even if he only meant to leave. She insisted that Thersu call the authorities to subdue the menace. After dinner, Thersu acted much differently. He told Ludin that his idle time was over and that he would be brought to prison. He told his friend he expected him to come to prison without argument and that all Ludin needed was reeducation. “Yes. You‟re right. I‟ll trust your judgment and come with.” He put on his shoes and jacket while Thersu did the same. Ludin put on the jacket while he was facing the door, and he discreetly pulled out the revolver. He qouckly turned around, bearing it on Thersu. “Back up against the wall. Both of you.” “How could you? You made me think you were a good man.” “I don‟t intend to shoot you, but if I must I will. I see I must be more selective in my friends. You are as simple as the rest of them, but I expected you to be more tolerant. I‟m grateful for your hospitality, so thank you. Now I will leave, but if you are stupid enough to send a good man like me to jail I will kill you. Goodbye.” He opened the door and stepped out. He added, “I‟ve done more than you or anybody else knows, but I didn‟t tell you because you will be happier if you don‟t know what I know. I did that for you. I would tell you how this place really works, but they would kill you.” He shut the door, put the gun in his jacket, and ran out of the building. Ludin was surprised when Illimis told him she herself didn‟t intend to leave. He was surprised at the trouble she took when she didn‟t have a stake in it herself. Even though she could benefit from his help and the Barrener‟s help, she knew how they felt and she didn‟t want to deprive them of their ambitions, but she was also willing to make the sacrifice because she loved him a little. Ludin told her he was sad to know she would be left without their help, but hearing she would stay did not change his mind at all. -Among his personal friends is/are an opinionated revolutionary who does not appreciate the sensitivity of all things and is unwise. He is like the common modern revolutionary, who might be on the right side, but is actually just a common person except for that he has been crafted by events to be different. He probably was upset about some things, then was brought into the revolt by chance and learned about things from them. -The main gang that was around before Ludin and his friends came were mostly criminals that passed as good guys, like Robin Hood. After Ludin, they were made aware of more things and grew a little less criminal. After the Barreners came they changed more, and once Illimis takes over they are mostly total revolutionaries. They presented the plans to their comrades the next morning. They got into a debate over

their wants, and the subject came up over why they should all concentrate on something as risky as stealing a spaceship when only a few of them would leave. After a while, Ludin asked why so many of them didn‟t see running from that terrible place as an option. He was put down with arguments from patriots who still had nothing but appreciation for their place (Many people are part of this because they have wishes for personal gain or wish to take some things into their own hands). Spikt spoke up, questioning them all and asking who was the leader here in the first place. He was the one who kept his people happy this whole time, but he rule was faltering since the Barreners sided with Illimis. She asked what progress he made in changing the Aristocracy, and he argued that he would if his people were more loyal. She told him she doubts he had any real plans, and declared he was no more than a mob boss. He began to rant about these attacks on his integrity, and how they are just ignorant fools who did not know what he knew, but the audience turned on him when they heard Illimis‟s calm and appealingly stated counterpoints. She was cleverer than he, and she was honest while he was not. Eventually, he backed up against the wall and took a revolver from a pocket. He started yelling nonsense and told everybody that things will go his way from now on, and he started talking directly to Ludin, about how all of it was because of him. His tone and words grew harsher and his looks grew crazier, but [Uliphya‟s brother] quietly walked up from Spikt‟s flank like a predatory animal and in an instant had him disarmed and on the floor. He cringed and cried and babbled something, then he looked at the people around him and got up and ran out. Ludin told [the older brother] he had better follow him in case he does anything crazy, and he told him to bring the gun just in case. As Ludin and the other learned a long while later, Spikt came close to reporting to an officer and having revenge on his former friends. Instead, he was shot by [the older brother]. After Spikt left, the renegades were much more divided. The sides were separated among the deviants and the conventionals. With the deviants are Ludin, the Barreners, Illimis, the sincere rebels, and a few similar, close friends. People continued to argue, mostly about goals and such. After [a few hours], many left the place until mostly just the deviants were left. Illimis pointed out that after all this they would be in danger if they stayed in the current hideout. They would have to leave most of their possessions behind and travel lightly. They were able to stay with a local rebel that still kept his civilian life. They left behind all the furniture and large items and the rad io, bringing their clothes, stolen papers, personal belongings, and small weapons. -The whole thing lasts about seven months. -Sometime shortly after this, he might see his mother a last time, and he explains himself, to her sorrow. He never tells her the full extent of his actions. He explains that he changed his mind while in the military, and he is unwilling to continue living the way he has been, so he is running away with his friends. Then, for one thing she asks how he became this way. He supposes that he learned to see the world from the outside. -There are no heroes on Homeworld, because a mythology to the religion would give some education of history. -They run across the densely urbanized country, and it‟s similar in feeling to Kidnapped The next day they all stayed in the apartment, out of sight from the surrounding city.

There were eleven now. It would be impossible to form a new hideout now that they were so few and knew of no other concealed locations. Illimis had not expected this, she had no idea where to go. Ludin decided the next move was to take action. They had no permanent harbor in this hostile city, so they would have to call every favor and take every advantage to survive. He paced, puffing a cigarettes. “There are only two cho ices. We can‟t go the way we‟ve been and continue to go on, it doesn‟t work. There are two paths we had to choose in the beginning, and they were to go on as we were or be different. We have chosen the less beaten path, and now we are alone. Now we will either leave or they will destroy us, so the next choice is clear. We must go directly to our target, the central spaceport.” The central spaceport was in the heart of the metropolis. The center was the most overbuilt place in the world; the city spread fro m this artificial island in an artificial lake on an artificial mountain. Approaching the heart would take over [a month] walking across treacherous territory, over [three weeks] in a boat (it would be tricky to get through the many locks), or a few days of constantly riding the trains. Even though the trains would bring them closest to others, the overall difficulty and risks would be less if they could manage to stay inconspicuous. Since Ludin was an ex-train engineer and exsoldier, the planning came to him. Things considered: -Because the people are not naturally suspicious, they are able to move round more easily than an escaped prisoner. -Maybe they can steal a rare truck. Automobiles are rare there, the top roads are made flat for these vehicles, and these are used for important things like priority transport. (the lower roads are made for people on animals, moving carts, and foot traffic) Once they get one, they can travel mostly unchecked. -Maybe they are smuggled through the trains with the fre ight. -The best stroke of luck was that there were several express trains to the center. Ludin supposed that if the engineer for one of these by some scheme failed to turn up, he could appear when the engineer was late and pretend he was a normal citizen appearing by chance and offer to drive it, and then he and his group could travel in the engine car and basically travel with more freedom. -The Barreners could turn up at the police and claim they were captured by the others for rebel purposes. They could then claim they wanted to bring them to Barren to face justice in their own courts. -They could also try and combine the multiple means of movement, but then their chances aren‟t good. -Sometimes it seems like Ludin is too clever to be realistic. Maybe more ideas should be from Illimis. -When Barreners cross the street, they just walk across. Even if it‟s busy, their senses let them know when something is coming for them. They next day, they parted from the friend that hosted them for the last time, jus t walking toward their goal. They let him keep the [chickens]. As soon as they walked out of the

neighborhood, they were much safer. People knew of them in that neighborhood, and that‟s where the police were looking by now. They walked in the darkness, in the bottom tier. While they were journeying, the police pursued leads. On the night of the coup, they received an anonymous report with plenty of information. They raided the hideout immediately, but all they found were fingerprints. They went after people whose prints matched those in records. Officially, Ludin, the Barreners, and three other people with them are recognized as “missing”, while Illimis and the other three are matched as runaways. The police have only made a small connection between them and the Barreners, knowing that four were spotted outside the location of the hideout [a month and a half] ago. Other conspirators were very unlucky. The police matched over 50 prints to people, and all of these people were arrested and investigated. Most of them were sent to a strict re-education center, but a number were interrogated, even tortured, and a few were even killed when it was decided they were too far gone to tolerate. After these people were gathered, the police found over 30 more after gathering information. When Ludin and company eventually heard about this, it was a little consolation that most of the people were merely involved because Spikt brought in money, so they weren‟t good friends of theirs. The police started a new investigation to find what happened to the eight unaccounted for rebels, and put an experienced officer in charge named Riniv Ketsa. {Possible scene to introduce Ketsa: There is some sort of standoff, where some criminals have a child or woman at gunpoint as a hostage. Ketsa and his officers are in front of hem, and guns are pointed at each other. Ketsa explains that it would be an overall better choice if they were rid of the criminals if they killed the hostage, and then he tells them to surrender. After a few seconds, Ketsa starts shooting and then it turns into a gunfight. The offercers are better armed and more numerous, so they quickly wound them all. The leader, who held the hostage, is wounded but not dead. Ketsa goes to him and says it was good of him not to kill the hostage, and then Ketsa shotos him dead.} Ketsa suspected from the start that the missing people were going to continue their pursuits rather than flee to the foreign lands, based on his experiences in the past. He figured they were a group that chose to stay in the country to undermine it, and they still had pretty much the same reasons to continue. He also was the first to suspect the Barreners were on their side, simply because they were last seen in the area. He had no suspicions of Ludin, because his name never came up and his prints were not matched because he went missing over a year ago and so the police had no reason to include him in the print comparisons (only people living in the general area of the hideout and known rebels were included in the comparison, though that means several million people). -Not all of the people taken were just profiteers. There was at least one good friend of Ludin who was also pretty smart, but he didn‟t want to come with because he felt safer just going home. The police eventually find him. He is interrogated for information, and when they find he never received much education past early school and that he has a history of not working, they just kill him because they don‟t think it would be worth itt o send him to re-education. Maybe this character was a rare artist, and he was in the group because it was to only way he could get the chance to work on it. The officers don‟t care about his art, even though they are the most skillfully done things they ever saw. Almost

all of it is destroyed. Later, Ludin is shown that this friend is dead when the leader gives him one of the paintings to take away. While in the hideout,he also learns how to play a small instrument given by a Barrener. -They only have one choice. They can‟t continue as they were, since the police have many of their identities. I suppose some of them decide to run on their own to the foreign countries, but Ludin and others know how unsafe that is. The gang decides to go for escape by getting on a ship. Maybe another character could try and get back into society and find a way on from there. This character might be sent to reeducation immediately after trying to get in. They don‟t know what they will find, but they cannot take the alternatives. No major plan was formed yet, but Ludin had an idea that would cut several days off the trip. They traveled to the top tier in dawn, to a goods allocation building. It was one of many industrial structures connected to the tracks and made for the purpose of carrying goods from one place to another, but this place had trucks and cars. None of them were ever in a car before, but if they could get one they might be able to travel all the way to the spaceport in a few days and in relative safety. {This is when they steal a car. The Barreners sneak in, open the outside gates to let the others in, and Ludin figures out how to drive. He knew how to do it best since he was a train engineer. He plays around with the controls while the others anxiously give suggestions while they try to figure it out. After a while one starts making noise but he accidentally breaks it by flooding gas or something, so he moves into the next truck. He does better with it, but then it also breaks. The third one he tries works. With foresight, Ludin realizes a machine must have a source of power so they load cans of gas into the back. They leave the place successfully, but the broken trucks alert the police. Luckily, they don‟t use license plates since civilians don‟t own cars. Eventually he gets the hang of navigating traffic and driving.} -I could change it so the things they get into during this time could be made to show what their willing to do for freedom. They might do desperate things to escape and live as they are. Now that he is in a car instead of a train, it is a comparison to how his future is now more in his own control. Meanwhile, officer Ketsa‟s investigation continued. On his orders, the police questioned many locals, as well as known relatives of the missing people and train workers. A few people reported seeing tall, hooded strangers moving in a group at night, and all descriptions indicated they were traveling East. It appeared the missing people were running somewhere, and the officer expected these tall people were the Barreners, and the group was the rest of the runaways. He had people questioned that were in the vicinity the people were headed, and eventually he connected the report of two broken trucks and one stolen truck to them. The theft occurred a little farther than the location where the last report of the strangers was. With his powers of authority, he ordered police east of the site of the theft to watch out for a truck with suspicious characters driving it. He still did not suspect their ultimate goal was to go off the planet, but he did have some fears they were going to attack the center of the city, where most of the Aristocrats lived. After a few days, they encountered an area of the road where trucks were lined up. Police

were talking to the drivers and checking the insides. This was obviously a checkpoint, and some felt they should just try to drive through and maybe the cops couldn‟t pursue them, but Ludin (the one in charge of driving) knew degree of control they had over the city. They drove south a few miles, and found they could go around the check points. As they drove closer to the target, they found more checkpoints, and even when they went south again they encountered more. The reason for this was that a policeman at the first checkpoint observed their truck sitting stationary for a while and then turning, and he reported it to the police, and this reached Ketsa, who increased the checkpoints accordingly. [This wouldn‟t attract much attention on Earth, but any odd behavior drew attention] Eventually, after more than a day of traveling around so many checkpoints they made a quarter circle around the area they were headed to, they had to leave the road to continue moving. They would take long detours across train tracks and through secondtier roads to go around them. At nightfall, they actually pushed the truck into the water and decided to walk the rest of the way for about [120 miles]. Their driving behavior when they were evading the checkpoints attracted police attention, which went to Ketsa, who was confident they intended to enter the heart of the metropolis or conduct conspire near it. He concentrated police and brought some military officials into that area. Coincidentally, Ludin still had friends in the military. After a day of anxious walking, evading police and military, they snuck into an administrative building. This was a great rest, since they camped under bridges and in hidden alleyways for days without much rest or food. They found a pantry with good ood and meat, which the Barreners enjoyed. They slept on large, padded chairs, a relative luxury. A night lasts about one and a half times longer there. (or should it pass twice as quick, making it all seem like a blur.) Ludin used the [couple of hours] before dawn to get help. He made a bunch of calls, pretending to be an official gathering information for various purposes. He managed to get through to a few military friends. He couldn‟t tell them much about himself, but he enjoyed talking with them for what he knew would be the last time. He told his friends a little about how he was trying to stay low, and he pretended to still be a runaway afraid of the army‟s judgment. None of them could possibly come to him or exercise any power, but one of them did have something to offer. He told Ludin about a friend of his that was stationed in the deep inner city. This friend was someone that was always friends of his friend‟s friends. He also shared some disagreements with the state. After talking to his friends, he called the trains and found a freight train was headed for [a few miles] outside of the central city, and it was leaving in [an hour]. Besides bringing some food, they also forge some signatures onto papers that they might show to guards if they are stopped. As the fist light of dawn appeared, the company walked to the trains through the morning mist, where they would meet with the friend. -Because all the water runs in one direction and the climate everywhere is the same, weather patterns are very regular and uneventful on Homeworld. The morning mist is a dependable occurrence. -It‟s not unlikely that Ludin could be mistaken during his earlier times for being gay or (psychologically) androgynous. -Possible: Maybe one of the travelers should change their mind midway through it all.

Perhaps this person just wants to go back, but realizes this is impossible since the state knows their a vagrant now. So, instead the person tries to betray them to go back into favor with the state. Then, as usual, the older brother puts an end to it (being the harsh protector of the group). The officer gathers information about the calls put through from that location, and learns about the actual conspirators and gains insight about their plans from the locations the calls were directed to, such as the train statio n. Any riders at the local station were checked before boarding. Even though the gang arrived in the early morning, plenty of guards were at the entrances already. Ludin went to find the friend while the others stayed in an alleyway. He walked to the arranged meeting place, a lamppost just outside a military bunkhouse. A soldier in uniform was standing there, smoking. Ludin walked up to him. He walked up to him and asked “What‟s your name?” “It‟s Asac. Do you want something?” “Uh, I was told to meet you here.” “Ah! Hello Ludin. I thought there would be several of you.” He stepped on the cigarette. “They are busy right now. Can you help us onto the express?” “Of course. Bring them and we‟ll go.” “I would like proof of your intentions. Why do you want to help us?” “You hurt me. I‟m doing this because you rebels and I share a lot in common.” We learn about him and the person he is, such as how he is less than patriotic and is in the same boat. Asac is actually working with the police. When the friend from the military called him on Ludin‟s behalf, Asac meant to go through with helping them. Asac is actually rather similar to Ludin, but he has taken advantage of the benefits of military loyalty. Even though he is actually less than a patriot, he changes his mind shortly before Ludin arrived, and he makes a quick arrangement with the police. He would bring these people to a part of the train depot where they would be ambushed and arrested easily, and Asac would be rewarded. He reveals himself when he says something he shouldn‟t know (This is because the police gave him some information when he told them about him. The police weren‟t sure if these were the ones they were after, so they don‟t bring all of their cops into the trap) Ludin brings him back to the group, and as he is apparently leading them to the trap Ludin carefully informs the others and they divert him somehow off the intended path toward a secluded place, probably another water area. Asac tries to continue his plot the whole time, even afer he is confronted with their suspicions. While talking, he gives excuses for what he is doing, and it ends in his death because of Ludin‟s accuracy and . He ends up dead, and they are unsure if he really meant the things he said

about himself. (Years later Ludin reconsiders all the events and determines he was probably being honest, and the event becomes another regret.) -Maybe Asac, despite seing things wrong with society, belives in the importance of duty and his assigned role. His sence of duty betrays allies and leads to his death. They leave the place stealthily, and it turns out getting onto the trains is easier than expected. They just walk among the many trains being pulled around until they find the right labeled train, and then they just jump into a loaded car. (They get some luck because the trainyard has curved rails and they chose a loaded car so that nobody comes to put more inside it.) The train is an express to the center, where the aristocrats live and the most supreme efforts are carried out, so it is carrying a huge amount of goods. -It seems odd that a somewhat less than common person and a group of renegades could make it into the center of it all. What are the key factors that make this possible? They are well learned after their rebel operations, Ludin particularly since he has experienced so much more. The four Barreners should help in those critical moments when they come close to being caught. They also have the naiveté of their countrymen working for them. -The older brother character is distinguished by his general anger, which comes from the dissapointment at home. He is one of the first to consider killing an enemy in any situation. The train takes them directly to the central city. (They aren‟t checked because the sheer amount of traffic makes it unfeasible to check everything.) They leave the train at a stop just outside the city (A careful and wise decision, because the police mean to check every train arriving from the neighborhood they were spotted in). The center is about 100 miles across, from one end the outer shore of the lake that surrounded it to the other side of the shore. They are only just inside the city. The grand spaceport is near the center, meaning they need to walk about 50 miles through the densest part of the city. Even though the place is the home of the Aristocrats and the center of the unarguably greatest government in the world, security is more relaxed than expected. Guards are quite common there, and so are military being sent out for missions, but they aren‟t all that careful because in reality (opposed to what the public is told) there are few serious threats. Their more in danger by the people under officer Ketsa, who are pursuing them in all possible places, particularly the capital. A few days later, the disorderliness of the car they were in brings some additional attention. -Around here, Ketsa‟s investigation finally identifies Ludin‟s prints. His suspicions are confirmed when somebody realizes the odd prints found at the scene are those of Barreners (the finger has a little bump where retractable claws are). He expands the search to be more thorough, incLuding all military runaways. The reason the searches take so long and are so small is that the Aristocracy doesn‟t like letting their people use computers for anything. -As said earlier, remember not to make Ludin unrealistically clever. Let Illimis and others think of things. -When they get into the center, maybe that is when Ludin makes up his mind to go.

They began walking through the dark streets. They had no idea where to go from there, but they needed a place to stay. They were all surprised when they saw a pair of Barreners walking towards them. After some quick arguing, they decided to ask them who they were and what they were doing there and to see if they might help. [The older brother] stopped them. He greeted them in his own language (the chances that they were from the same area were low), and asked if they knew the local language. They replied in the local language. A conversation started, and the two strangers said they were some hired servants and they were brother and sister. Ludin This is when it came up that many workers were brought to the capital for certain jobs, such as entertainment, servant work, and special security positions. They were very curious who the gang was, and how the Barreners could be unaware of this. [The older brother] told them he was aware, and that his whole family was offered positions and residence there in exchange for their property, but they declined becauase the locality was so unpleasant (to a Barrener, the constant rain and the smog and close quarters would be very unpleasant compared to where they come from). asked them directly if they were loyal patriots of the state. They acted uneasy, but since the Barreners in the group didn‟t talk highly about the state they admitted with smiles to be there for the high paying jobs. Going directly to the next point, Ludin asked if they would harbor fugitives. They were surprised by this, and asked if they were the fugitives. They said they knew a place to stow them, but they couldn‟t keep them for long. They knew that being a fugitive there could mean you simply didn‟t like the state, and they were sympathetic. They didn‟t suspect them of being murderers or terrible thieves (though one of them was a murderer). They lead them a few blocks away to a wine cellar where they talked more. Illimis carefully told them the parts of the story they needed to know. She told them about the refuge for those who didn‟t entirely like their life, about the false leader, how they just wished to leave, how their new friends came along to join them because they were tired of both worlds altogether, how their false leader betrayed them, and how they made their way to the capital so they could escape, pointing out that they went to the capital spaceport instead of a smaller one because they could get the extrastellar ships there only and it was part of the deal wit the Barreners to get an extrastellar ship. The two were intrigued, particularly by their want to travel out of known existence altogether. They told them they were impressed and sympathetic, but they were very worried about the risks of harboring them. They could be fired for it, but they would probably receive worse. They told them they would let them stay in the cellar for the night, but that others come by often. They asked what their plan was for getting into space. They used to have plans they could try, but they thought they would try just getting in there and stowing away. The two told them there were better ways to try getting in. They told them what they knew about the capitol, and that nobody was ever known to get onto a ship without firm permission. They suggested they might get across much more safely if they had disguises and if they could forge the right documents. The two could tell them how to get to an office where they had that, but they couldn‟t come along to help. The gang stayed the night, and the next morning they thanked them for the help and went off. Officer Ketsa was getting very frustrated. It felt like he was receiving evidence of the

runaway‟s locations just a day too slow. He had sent his police after them as they journeyed over a thousand miles, but they were more difficult than any other runaways in his experience. That morning, he just heard about the death of a loyal informant who was killed by the gang a couple of nights ago. Now that they went far enough to commit murder, he would have many fewer restrictions on how aggressively he could pursue them. He suspected they were in the center by now, so he might not even get the reward for their capture since he suspected the local police would stop them. The gang broke into an administrative building they were told to go to. It was daylight this time, and the Homeworld people stayed in an alleyway while the Barreners actually climbed the building a few floors and entered through a window. They walked among the workers, and even though they didn‟t pretend well the people assumed they were there o n their own business and left them alone. They found a store room full of unissued military items. They took uniforms for the four Homeworld men in the group based on the sizes given to them and the appropriate ranks Ludin wrote down for them. They also took four rifles and other accessories. They sneaked out through the window, and the four changed into the uniforms. They were now well disguised, but the four Barreners looked a little ragged for high-class servants, and the three Homeworld women didn‟t look like they fit either. The Barreners break into an Aristocrat‟s home (which turns out to be surprisingly easy). They steal clothing and information. Other servants try to stop the theives since the Aristocrats will suspect them, but they lead them to where their armed guys are and they explain that they can blame the stolen clothes on them, and they ask nicely that they don‟t tell their bosses about noticing them until they actually notice the missing clothes. They accept as long as they get payment. OR, the Barreners, having heard many Aristocrats can‟t tell the difference among Barreners, pose as servants at the time when they were told the regular servants will be out. They act the part and steal clothes just before they bail. -Narrate some part from the point of view of an officer or official documenter, showing the bad sides of their actions. -They try their best, but the state catches up with them. The gang walks toward the spaceport. They find that despite the higher police presence, they can steal from homes much more easily, taking food and such. They even manage to find the location of the office where they process permissions for getting onto ships. When they get very close to it, officer Ketsa finally narrows down their location after their increasingly reckless activity, and his police close in. Eventually the group made it to the last part of the journey. Because the purpose of most space voyages was military in nature, the area surrounding the spaceport was essentially a military base. The plan was to disguise as military and service personnel, sneak onto a vessel, and either hijack it or run away and disappear as soon as they landed on an alien planet. The plan was doomed from the start. The military had their identities, and the plan

was easier to imagine than carry out. Before they entered the boundaries of the base, they were spotted and quietly surrounded by the black-suit police. “We‟ve been found.” Ludin said to his nearest friend. “What do you mean?” “Have you noticed how quiet it is? Barely anybody else is out, the residents are hiding in their homes. That is part of the police strategy, allegedly for their own protection, but also so nobody sees what happens. Remember? We‟ll disperse, and then meet in the square at nightfall. If you don‟t find me then, stay in this neighborhood. Whisper it to the others, tell them to split up and run when I start running.” “Yes boss. Oh, sorry. You don‟t want to be called that.” They continued to walk down the street in the bottom tier of the city. Ludin could see his friends were getting restless from the news. The cops would move in soon. They continued walking until they reached a staircase, and several alleys were around them. Ludin sprinted up the stairs, and his some of his friends yelled things out as they broke off and ran in different directions. The police were very close, and a few jumped out from their hiding places and pursued. One shot his machine gun in their direction, but hit nobody. Two runners were caught as soon as they ran into alleyways. Ludin reached the second tier street, and ran into an apartment building. He continued running until he reached the other side, and ran out into the street and up another staircase to the top tier. He was spotted by an officer here, and he threatened to shoot if Ludin didn‟t surrender. Instead, Ludin shot him with his rifle, and kept running. There were pedestrians up here, and some people screamed. Three uniformed Barreners emerged together as if from nowhere, armed with Sub- machine guns, and ran straight for him. He knew how much faster they were, and even though they would intimidate others into surrender, he ran behind a car, turned around, and said “Stop” while he pulled out the revolver and aimed for one of them with the rifle in his right (while it rested on the car) and aimed the revolver in their general direction. They actually stopped. They were still in the middle of a populated street, and more police would be there soon. He said “I know you are in this fight for money, but mine is a fight of ideology! Just stay out of this, unless you love this place like the rest of the simpletons!” One stayed in his place, but one started running while the other opened fire, just as three police emerged from the second tier. With accuracy the police didn‟t anticipate, he shot the fast approaching Barrener in his tracks and then one of the officers. He turned into an alleyway, and continued running erratically, while just two police and a mercenary followed him, the officer being officer Ketsa. Even though the special enforcement (The black-suited) cops being former military officers, were among the most qualified in the country, Ludin had experience enough to evade the other two, but the leader could predict his path whenever he turned a corner. Thinking on his feet, he led him into a populated office. It was noisy and busy. Ludin ran until he reached a quieter hall, and he stopped at the end of an empty dead-end with the gun drawn, and listened for footsteps. He meant to hit the officer with a single shot. When the officer didn‟t appear after several [minutes], Ludin saw he made a

mistake. While he was running, the officers couldn‟t guess where he would be. He did lose the officer in the factory among the workers, but that meant the officer could call other police. Now that Ludin shot policemen, he was a high priority offender. He put the gun away and walked casually toward an exit, and he found the workers were all leaving. Unfortunately police were identifying all of the workers leaving the build ing. Ludin retreated toward the deep basement, and finding soldiers arriving into the building from all directions, ran to the roof instead. Even though Ludin has a revolver with a few shots, he is a much better shot plus he is clever enough to gain advantages when he makes the officer come to him. The police rush into the building (not in a tactical way like SWAT guys, they just run in there) and Ludin locks himself on the roof. The officers check the rest of the building, and they try to have him shot from the rooftops of surrounding buildings, but Ludin uses his experience to move some objects around and wisely maneuver so they cannot shoot him. Ketsa is brought in to kill him because officers traditionally get to execute the one they are in charge of catching and he wants to continue it (basically for beurocratic reasons and those conservative, “must do things the right way” reasons, plus he want the honor), and they break through to the roof and he goes in with a sub-machine gun and body armor and a few other well-armed guys. In the couple of hours he was up there, he formed some good defenses and traps. He waits in a shadow, surrounded by some defensive things, where waits for and shoots an officer. He uses the advantage in similar ways to eliminate more of them, until he runs into Ketsa. The officer says some mean things about him and his type of people while he walks around trying to find him. Here he also announces his suspicions that Ludin killed his uncle. He is the only one that figured it out. Ludin manages to flank him and shoot his weapon arm. The officer drops it, and falls to the ground, and apologizes and tells him he only wanted to anger him so he would reveal himself. He says he knows Ludin is just an unlucky kid and that he hopes he can just return to society. Ludin asks if he feels the same way about the other people he was sent after. Unlike a common hero type, he shoots this vIllimisin instead of walking away. Four were sent up, and he killed two. The other two run back into the building, and a few minutes later regular soldiers are sent up. He is ready to fight to the death, but when he sees they are army men he put the gun down and makes it clear that he gives up. [Later, when asked why, he explains he does not want to harm the ignorantly innocent. The officers were dedicated loyalists, but he knows soldiers are simpler people.] The soldiers beat him up a little, arrest him, and take him to a prisoner van. Inside are all of the people in the gang, except for one Homeworld man that was k illed when he fought back. In the van, one thing that happens is he counts the people he‟s killed and counts who he thinks deserved it. They are taken to a prison, and the police promptly begin to interrogate them. The officer in charge of them now is even worse than Ketsa. He is almost 70 years old, but he is not at all a kindly old man. He berates them and wonders out loud at the same time “All of us accept the way of things but you. I wonder why. Foolish.” They argue serious and fundamental issues with him, and he demonstrates a thought-out philosophy common among the commoners. "You know, you killed that Barrener man you shot." Someone else says "It's your fault.", and Ludin says that it was unavoidable." They don‟t stay in

that prison for much longer than a day, because their extreme feats are a freak occurrence, and they are brought to Aristocrats. They are restrained while the Aristocrat‟s guards guard them. Some of the Aristocrats have a conversation with them, and some things become clearer. “Since we were created onto this world, the only choice was total unification or destruction.” “How long ago was that? When we were created?” “I have no idea. It was a very long time ago.” “I doubt many of the things you say.” The personalities of the Aristocra ts are shown. They really don‟t act very differently from the commoners. They are likely to be smarter, but not very. They don‟t even have to exercise their minds much; their roles in society are to control the people who manage and to exercise high judgme nt and law. They make executive decisions for society, so they don‟t actually do much work. Mentally, they are as bigoted and simple as the rest of them. They aren‟t much more educated than a common person, since an education feed open-mindedness, and they don‟t need to be much more open-minded than a common person. The band sees definitely that the Aristocrats are no better than any commoner. There are some arguments of philosophy in the conversation. -“You make no gesture of the slightest honor or respect to us?” -remember philosophy in the conversation. For one thing, what‟s been presented as truth have been lies. Foreign people can bee good. In fact, just about all the foreigners Ludin has known were good to him. Another thing is that the Aristocrats are totally unaware that they are very similar to commoners. Ludin and others are unsure about what to believe now, but the Aristocrats say that is because they are (in some way) retarded. When asked to explain what made them retarded, the Aristocrats say they were exposed to the evils from outside of civilization (few of the people there are aware actual civilizations other than their own exist) and they are pitiful for it. Ludin asks how they can be against that when they interact with Barreners every day, but they explain they are the smartest and wisest people so they can benefit from it without being harmed. Another argument is that society is perfect compared to the other places people live. There are rarely murders or social disturbances of any kind, and therefore they as a nation are the strongest force anywhere. Crime and separatists are actually a recent phenomenon, starting a few hundred years ago, shortly after the first space vessels were known to have traveled. Ludin tries to clarify who his grandfather was. He wasn‟t a particularly special person, just somebody who was too different. He looked around and knew too much. He actually would not have been a bad candidate for Principal Aristocrat, but he had feelings against the system. He eventually went too far, and so he was killed and his family was dishonored. After conversing for a while and having their fun, the Aristocrats give their judgment to execute them. The gang turns militant again. They generally panic and some make good attempts at breaking out, but they couldn‟t go very far since they are in the center of the Aristocracy. They are put in a basement, apparently for immediate execution. Some

people pray, but just stares at nothing and talks about his thoughts on things now that it‟s all seemingly over. He also asks who they think they are praying to, since if they believed in god he must be against them after all they have done. (Despite being alleged sinners, they get pretty lucky in the end. Who would expect that after defying the deity?) A few hours later, they are taken instead to the seat of all power, the mansion of the Principal Aristocrat. Because the people are worked hard until the day they die without any objections, the members of the aristocratic class live in ridiculous luxury. Maybe the actual intention of the aristocracy is to breed their people into a sort of submissively communal subspecies. This would be how they view what they are doing, as simply the caretakers of a new subspecies. Their reasons for sticking to it are not scientific, however. They continue because they are accustomed to the fantastic lifestyle. The position of Principal Aristocrat is kept secret to minimize any quells for power. Maybe he gets out by threatening to tell somebody who the principal aristocrat is. The aristocrats know little history so that they have few examples to draw upon. Maybe just before he leaves, he tells an are rebellious aristocrat who the Principal is. While the commoners are quite calm, Aristocratic society is the most turbulent. TO ELABORATE ON: The Aristocrats are not necessary, since the system can run itself if it was arranged right. The Aristocrats exist essentially because they can. The founder wanted people to socialize and work with, and he believed countries should be ruled by a selected superior class. He meant for his civilization to be brutally efficient and utopian; for the Aristocrats to do all the thinking and head the intellectual pursuits and for the commoners to provide all the labor and do the work, keeping the two classes separate. -A while ago, I thought that the Aristocracy might constantly be engaged in some sort of warfare games. These might be used to keep the cooperative people of the planet suspicious of those outside their local areas. Just an old thought. -The aristocrats have “manners”. They have many high society traits that show others and themselves that they are the superior people. In the past and now, following the trends and all the mannerisms of society is one way to show your value. By do ing these status things and emulating the values of the best race in the world (your own), you show your value. People who didn‟t follow the practices of society, such as low-class people or counter-cultures, haave been valued less by all civilizations. This has gone on throughout history. -The state is self-perpetuating, really. It depends on the traits easily inherited in people such as bigotry. -The Aristocrats have no actually redeeming qualities. No artistic vision, for instance. - Many aristocrats are fat, but the principal isn‟t. He is quite different from them, reminiscent of an alien or the god that isn‟t a hypocrit because he creates the rules. -Reveal what it is that sets the Aristocrats apart. Are they more intelligent? Are they the most gullible? Are they the most similar to the leader? The aristocrats are really the only source of ideas, and they are the management. -At it‟s best, religion can keep people safe and from committing evil. Leaving religion frees a person, but it exposes them to unfiltered reality. -The religion is a tool, but not the cause. -Many of the Aristocrats heve a personal or family history of loyalty mixed with aggressive manipulation for power. They expect them all to be executed, but they

speculate that he not a farfetched candidate for an aristocrat, even at this point. -As part of their frivolism, the aristocrats have many fads. Many keep their hair long, and many also play with styles. -religion plays a major role, and the aristocrats are royalty and clergy. -The topic comes up of who the Barreners are. They are actually all humans, but the principal hold they are aliens and they are animals that developed independently. -It is here they learn the identity of the Principal Aristocrat is kept secret. The principal is actually there, but he appears to be just another aristocrat. His name is mentioned onece when somebody addresses him, but few recognize him when he talks to them later. -At least one should have a thing for Barrener women. Others might think of them as butch, feeling attractive women are supposed to be weak and passive. Maybe he thinks of these wild-women as more sexual and interesting. One of the Aristocrats has a real perversion for Barreners. Sometime, he is wooing one but it comes up that he likes it because there is a “Bestial” feeling to it. She gets offended. He wants threatens to execute her as she goes, but he doesn‟t. She also hears later from another that he is getting weak, and therefore is doomed.

The principal talks to them individually, but the major thing is Ludin‟s conversation. His own people would want to kill Ludin, but the Principal Aristocrat sees Ludin as just one abnormality out of billions of carefully crafted and loyal people. He asks him questions about his life and how he came to be the way he is, and he just lets him go eventually. (He reveals a lot of information, but a lot of the truth is revealed ambiguously or only hinted at. He doesn‟t want him to know the whole truth, since Ludin might become an Aristocrat. One thing not revealed is the species of the Barreners.) Part of the conversation: “We believe in what we say. We have goals for our people, and isolating them is an important part of our plan.” This guy explains his view, explaining how what Ludin has done will create some difficult to repair damage to civilization. He also explains what he has been trying to do for the past thousand years with these people, in much softened terms. He doesn‟t explain in great detail, he says he is a leader of a nation and he does what he wants. He also argues it is a benefit to the human race since it shows what they can do when they are united. “Are these people from out of our sun‟s area really the gods? Are they the ones who made us and created the rules?” “Of course! And the members of the aristocracy have always been their representatives.” “This doesn‟t make sense. I‟ve heard god is the supreme power, but then why do these gods simply use machines? It seems like gods are no more than people with more power than we have. It seems like you have all the power on this world.” The guy continues to say these people are gods, but he‟s a skilled liar. He knows the truth because he is the one who continues the project. They get onto the personality of the guy, and who he is anyway. “You haven‟t said anything about the people that died because of us.” “The officer you shot is a hero, who died fighting for what he believed in. He will be celebrated among his peers.” “But he will be forgotten after a generation.” “Why should that matter? Everybody is forgotten in time.” -In the conversation the guy should use those common argument cheats.

Ludin argues that the barreners turned out to be good people. The guy argues that they are not dependably good, and they came not to help, but to get a spaceship. Uliphya has been the only person dependably good to him, since they came to help partially on her request. “I see you‟re a smart person, you‟ll understand in time. You will be an asset if you let us make you into one.” He doesn‟t want to let him die, because he is interested in him. He tells him he should be raised as a member of the Aristocracy because if he is not one of the lower classes he must be an Aristocrat. He calls him a misplaced Aristocrat. If he actually was turned he would make a good one. He tells him the reason his grandfather was outcast and killed, but in his own version of it. Maybe he has discrepancies in the story that allow the reader to see the actual version out. He thinks Ludin could make a good Aristocrat because he has qualities that most Aristocrats lack (because they have been bred to the point of dullness) and the guy has few personal friends. He also feels that the other one‟s are very dull and really all the same. Most of the Principals elected in the lines have been somewhat different from other Aristocrats, so he hopes Ludin could be a friend at least, and possibly even his replacement if he could be made to understand his point of view. He‟s lonely at the top too. Ludin refuses. Among the reaso ns, he knows he would be reduced to the stupidity of the Aristocrats. Even though he would live in absolute luxury, he would sooner go out into unknown space. He tells the Principal his only goal remains to leave the world. “So bizarre. You expect to simply fly to heaven, and for the gods to just let you in?” (the founder himself was Atheist, as were the other people of his civilization, but religion will always be a tool.) “I don‟t think these are gods. I think they are people just like us from far away.” “That‟s interesting. How did you come to that conclusion” “You‟ve lied to everyone, but I think I know the truth. I‟ve been told Barreners are completely alien from us, but that isn‟t true. They are the same shape as us, they act the same, and they seem to think the same even. If this world wasn‟t under one country, they wouldn‟t be all the same. From what I‟ve heard, Barren is extremely different, but even though it‟s the only other world that‟s admitted to exist it‟s been treated by the army as just more land to exploit. To me it seems like an amazingly different place, and I‟ve been told civilization exists there, and that it existed even before we came along. Since this is the case there, on a world that isn‟t all that special for some reason, that must mean there are more worlds with people living on them, people like us.” “This is why we don‟t educate you. You would be so happy if you knew nothing.” “Yes, I would. But don‟t think I‟m unaware of why the people here are kept ignorant. Once they know things, they become like me. They stayed content because they only know one world and one way. I know it would be fruitless to try and change this world, and I don‟t want to. There are greater things, and I would never be content if I lived as an Aristocrat here.” He asks Ludin if he thinks badly of the state. Ludin says he is very angry at it. Then the guy asks if the state keeps it‟s people happy. Ludin admits that it does, but he loathes the world and cannot live on it. “I guess you‟re just a different person from the rest of us. The founder was like you; he couldn‟t accept the civilization he lived in. He was great, and I know I‟ll never be like him. If he wasn‟t given the opportunity, our race would never exist. You have gotten so far, and you o nly mean to leave. I don‟t want to just let you go, but you won‟t stay, and I would be unhappy to see you die.” At this point Ludin still doesn‟t know about the planet‟s actual history. -The character could be a fickle one, quick to change his mind.

-New possibility: maybe the character is more of a person that has learned a lot about reality, like Ludin will. He thinks more like a computer, acting subjectively but with little feeling. He is a little hypocritical, though he does sincerely think of humself as a good guy. -Remember the old friend who wanted to be artistic, but is killed. Ludin is shown that this friend is dead when the leader gives him one of the paintings to take away. -Whether he is let go or what, while he is leaving he reveals the name o f the Principal. Maybe another Aristocrat asks him, and possibly in exchange for freedom. Another possibility is that he just announces it on the radio. Effectively, the thing is he would successfully break the Aristocracy by providing a chance for power-hungry Aristocrats to rebel. An Aristocrat in an inferior place might try to convince people otherwise from what they have learned. -From where did we originate? | The first settlers came from a……called…… | And where did they originate? | I don‟t know. | -It is very difficult to keep people simple while introducing technology. If they aren‟t kept simple, they will differentiate. Society must be carefully prepared for every new thing, or else the structure may fall apart from the inside. -Advanced science and other things that are not understood are often taken for magic or theological spirits. He knows this and abuses it. -You have aggressively pursued the truth, but there are great questions I can only speculate on the answers to. How far are you going to p ursue it? Are you brave enough to gamble losing your mind? The answers may likely be worse and more destructive than you can imagine. Our peasants are happy, they have purpose and meaning. | …They‟re meaning is to serve you. | That isn‟t all of it. I am working toward bringing society toward an ultimate goal. When this society is greater, it will be decided what that goal is. | Nobody alive now will take part in that. Many have and will live their lives without even knowing what they are alive for. | And yo u have decided that is not good enough. Don‟t you see it‟s possible to know to much? | I would rather know everything. Even if it would kill me, at least I would know it all. -It is an injustice that they let the founder make a society so oppressive to it‟s people | Answer me this: would you or any more of these people exist if this government didn‟t exist? -There are good people and there are bad people. The world is simple. | How do you see those that posses some good traits and some bad traits? | Those people are ugly at their best. I consider them bad. | Maybe good and evil varies on opinion. [Reality is more complex than it we naturally perceive it] -He knows that an actual invasion would be quite easy, but it would be impossible to keep them under power and keep societal stability. -Part of the ideology is that the human race is sure not to fail. The way it operates is similar to being in a constant state of emergency, so if anything severely bad happened, such as an invasion of some sort, they could mobilize to handle it. -“are you aware of how inconsistent religion is on that planet? Doesn‟t that say something to you?” The religion of that planet is not consistent with theirs, but religion on their own is rarely totally consistent. -What a huge lie heaven is. It‟s a terrible illusion. People have and continue to take terrible treatment for the promise of heaven. It does keep people from investigating and

exploring though. -When Ludin suggests the arrangement for escaping, the Principal actually thought of it first but leads him to think it was his idea. Perhaps throughout the conversation he‟s been manipulating to make him come to this conclusion. -All these questions and issues are meant to confuse Ludin into thinking that the Principal is wiser and righter. However, it make him very curious and uncertain about what the knows and so it makes him want to leave and find answers even more. -Perhaps by his definition, good things are what is best for human advancement, and therefore everything he is doing is good. -When he makes the arrangements, he mentions that in a way Ulyphya‟s mother is responsible for his becoming the person that he is, since it was her decision to bring her children when she visited. -The aristocrat brings up the god thing. If you don‟t attribute anything to god, how do you explain the world around you? How do things lead to other things? -Perhaps a part of the long-term strategy for Barren is to break down every single structure so the people adopt theirs. It turns out that the major fault in this is that the general world culture has developed not to rely on structures.

---------------The story of the planet‟s foundation and it‟s reason for being the way it is: The first settlers were from an extremely advanced civilization. This civilization was able to do unimaginable things because they were so afvanced. The original people had ideologies different than the mainstream of the culture, so they were allowed to start from scratch on this terraformed world. Once they settled, they divided into groups and decided what each of their new civilizations would have technologically and genetically and such. Afterward, they were cut off from outside contact and these original people were free to develop on their own. (The philosophy of the society that released them was that people are free to have their own philosophical beliefs. The mot major issue is the ultimate end or goal of humanity. In this civilization, that issue was an extremely controversial topic.) Unfortunately for the rest of the world, the one who created the Aristocracy had specific, sort of crazy plans for his own civilization which involved getting rid of the others. He united his people completely and conquered most of the world. He left a third unconquered deliberately as part of his big plan, since people controlled by fear need enemies. After a thousand years, his position was passed on to others who could keep to his philosophy (It wasn‟t hard; even the Aristocrats are very similar. When a person deviates a little from the norm, they aggressively reject that person or force him/her to conform.). He considered his nation a success, but he left to higher civilization to enjoy himself while his civilization grew. The position of Principal Aristocrat is designed not to create contention for power. The head aristocrat is actually kept very private, and only his personal police and staff know who he is. Every Principal passes his position secretly to a successor who is considered the best candidate for carrying on the founder‟s beliefs. His decestors recently (200 years ago) renewed contact with the outside universe, being the beginning of the next stage of society. The newest successor has some complex plans for spreading his subspecies. He must be careful that his people don‟t take too much outside influence. The stated purpose of the regime is

safety against fictional enemies and dangerous influences. The original leader ironically wanted to create a new society from scratch in which there would be no deviance allowed, yet he desired to create a new society form scratch because he didn‟t like the one he lived in. He and a few thousand others were brought to Barren and Homeworld, far away from the civilization they lived in because they had ideological differences with the civilization they were from. One problem that could produce these people is that there are so many different things a culture might consider to be the ultimate destiny or goal that there will naturally be deviants who believe in some other path. One of the core ideals behind the creation of Homeworld was a strict hold on people, so they can do things with unity. Ludin asks what that society and culture is building up to, what the ultimate point of it all is. The guy explains it is assuring human existence, which they will continue until such time as they are advanced enough to some to that decision. He says are working for something that will benefit all humans in time, since so many end up leaving the universe for other things. The planets were chosen for terraforming specifically for their gravity and proximity and they‟re far away from any great technological civ. Barren was also settled like this, but one specific ideology can only be spread so far on that world before it loses strength. The excelled radiation on barren was supposed to be temporary, but all the original people died out after a hundred years. People continued to evolve on their own after that. (Their basic human attributes, such as their faces and body structure, were not changed as much. Their appearances are mostly the same as what can be found in regular humans today (skin color, facial structure), except for commonly shared differences. (Most of the planet is the same environment, so the differences are found from the specific types of regions they settle in and the history of their family lifestyle (such as dawn migrators)) The most recognizable common features were much increased metabolism and the animal- like tails and ears for balance and improved senses. There was much interbreeding, since people were culturally very flexible, and these features were very suited to the planet‟s harsh conditions. These dramatic changes were much increased by the radiation. The reason Ludin‟s people aren‟t in control of F‟s planet is because it is not a feasible idea. The geography and culture would make sustained dictatorship very difficult. Instead they do business and trade with them. They assert ownership of some small parts, such as vacation cities for the rich and remote sites kept for stora ge and experiments. Perhaps thy keep prisoners and other people deemed undesirable here and put them to work. Maybe some elderly that are not useful enough are sent as labor. [AND DON‟T LAST VERY LONG. MAYBE RELATE THIS TO THE MOTIVE OF GREED; IT ENABLES THE CHILDREN OF THE ELDERLY TO TURN THEIR BACKS ON THE AGED SO THAT THEY CAN INHERIT. REMEMBER THAT THE REFUSAL TO ALLOW INHERITANCE WAS A PUNISHMENT TO LUDIN‟S FAMILY. A MINOR THEME LIKE THIS WILL HELP TO HOLD THE STORY TOGETHER.] The society is impeded severely because it‟s too hard for anybody to adjust to new changes, such as spaceship technology. The ideology has kept society stable and productive, but among the advantages is failure to change. It moves very slowly, and must be very carefully controlled or else the system will die. The unfortunate and hard to accept thing about the place is that it does work. It lasted for a thousand years, and so the people have adapted to it and accepted their roles.

The people work together very well, and the entire nation is capable of coordination and moving toward goals collectively. Many social issues are eliminated. (Individual greed is absent among the common people, since everything goes to the Aristocrats. Crime is very low. (most crimes involve people trying to get wealthy without acting in favor of the government) People get along very wel, but there is high discrimination against different people. There are no gay rights or birth control or sex ed, since it is part of the prerogative to have as much man-power as possible. Gun control is very high, but this helps keep crime down. Homeless are absent, although this is because everybody is used to their maximum. Justice leans toward the favored. There is almost total peace within the nation, except in extreme examples. The planet could be called overpopulated, although food is not a problem because they grow nutritious gruel plants at home. Socially, there are commoners who can at most imitate the high class by appeasing them. Much of this is possible partly because the people as individuals are very weak, one reason being they are kept stupid and ignorant and very restrained. Social offences are actually very common among the higher people, such as aristocrats and military. The Aristocrats are said to be the ones the true burdens are on,and while it is true that they are the most educated and The weakness in it is that they cannot adapt to change, because changes would break the dependable regularity of the society. It simply can‟t work in the long term unless it is managed really slowly and carefully. Show that such a society, though stable, does not work with changing conditions. Show that on Barren, they absorbed technology very well in the ten hundred years since Homeworld people arrived, while the Homeworld government can‟t adapt themselves to that planet at all. It is noted that every smart Homeworld person who did things right was removed from position for some reason (Because these are different people, they have what it takes to adapt, but are unpopular with their own people. Maybe some leave the government to live successful lives on Barren.) Little changes can go a very long way. Because the people are worked hard until the day they die without any objections, the members of the aristocratic class live in ridiculous luxury. Maybe the actual intention of the aristocracy is to breed their people into a sort of submissively communal subspecies. This would be how they view what they are doing, as simply the caretakers of a new race. Their reasons for sticking to it are not scientific, however. They continue because they are accustomed to the fantastic lifestyle. [ALEX, I BELIEVE THAT TO MAINTAIN INTEREST WE MUST SEE THE EVIL IN THE GOVERNMENTAL STRANGLEHOLD ON CITIZENS RIGHT AWAY. THE ENEMY MUST ALWAYS REAR ITS UGLINESS SO THAT WE CAN APPRECIATE AND APPLAUD LUDIN‟S EVOLUTION INTO WHO HE BECOEMS.] Don‟t blatantly make them look evil, like there is simply a good side and a bad side. The way it operates should be shown more completely through example s. -Perhaps the Aristocracy can be said to be an example of an authoritarian state that has successfully and completely assured it‟s power over the world and one that is moving purposefully toward a goal. Unlike the dystopia in 1984, the aristocracy isn‟t terribly self crippling. For example, information can move around quickly, and common people are aware of most major events. -1984 has a specific type of authoritarian government, but the Aristocracy is like all the right-wing governments in the past, with the same strengths and weaknesses. -Usually, when people threaten the status quo, religion serves as a second form of

defense. -The society should be open to discussion. It has good qualities for sure, and people should definitely be able to see things in it. Diseases are mostly absent. -It would be interesting to see the future of that civilization. One thing is that it might assimilate many other people. It might have extremely great technology in the future, but it uses them simply to assure that it continues as it is. People might live with this technology, but their position would be the same. -technology can be seen as bad, and for those reasons advocates of that view can see the reasons they believe this to be so in the Aristocracy. -The advanced civilization that gives the Principal technology has a complicated relationship with them. They share the objective belief of the society that preceded them, which is why they observe and give some essential help to them. They also are aware that this society could some day become a major stellar power, even a threat. That is why they do not give them everything, but do not totally ignore them. -------------------------------------------In modern earth setting stories, there is no escaping problems. Here, they can escape. Unfortunately, they are caught, and a compromise must be made. The compromise still turns out to be a victory, and they get to escape anyway. He might be like one of those people who had wished for things not demanding, but impossible no netheless, but unlike them he got a chance. (taken from the page on The Trial on Wikipedia.)

He thinks first that the only thing is to make him an aristocrat or execute them. Ludin says that he is willing to work something out. The principal makes this decision: He will become an aristocrat, and his friends will live. (He pretends that the reason he doesn‟t let him go is that the Aristocrats won‟t accept it) He must go to a reeducation center on Barren, where the mother of the siblings will regularly report on his progress. His Barrener friends and all of his other friends who want to go there will also be sent where they will be free and ignored, except for Illimis, who will be held as a sort of hostage. [the volatile state that Ludin creates when he announces the Principal‟s name helps her later]. Ludin agrees to this.
Courses considered: -He orders them to be executed publicly, since punishment is an important part of authoritarianism. Maybe he personally sees some interesting things in him and would be sad if he died, but has to do it anyway. Maybe he can‟t because the Aristocrats won‟t have it. He and his friends are released by another aristocrat after he takes them aside and they make an exchange to tell him the name of the Principal. -He offers to let the rest go only if Ludin becomes his aristocrat. -The principal wants to let them go and does. -He offers to make him a highly esteemed servant if he won‟t be an aristocrat. Perhaps this is just to get rid of him. -He doesn‟t have the power to give him a ride on an ext rastellar ship, but he lets him exile to Barren (Where he and his friends take one.) -Wants them to be reeducated and sends them to a reeducation center on Barren. Maybe they are trusted to Uliphya‟s mother. -The older brother‟s relation to a friend of the state should play into it. -Instead of just being let go, maybe he is pitied by a visiting person fro m space. -Does he send him to Barren to get rid of h im? They send him there under the guise that he is now an important person. He doesn‟t want to be an important person, and they don‟t actually want to make h im

one. He is sent to a prison camp on Barren?}

The principal promptly sends them all back to a comfortable prison, except for Illimis, who is meant to be kept close and out of contact with anybody outside his office/fortress/palace (although she later socializes with aristocrats). {The principal is a very careful person, it seems a little unlikely that Ludin would just run into one and they would start conversation. Maybe they are cut off from anybody besides the trusted servants of the palace, but some ambitious Aristocrat sends them very simple messages, arranging for them to give the identity of the Principal. Maybe the principal never reveals his name or anything besides his face, but he is there in the group of Aristocrats that talk to them. His name is mentioned only once when he is addressed by another, before they know who he is. On the trip to Barren, they are talking among themselves and he finds out one of them has keen memory. They connect the name and sell it to the supervisor in exchange for a promise later on. The supervisor sells this to an aristocrat for a huge price when he gets back, and this sets revolution in motion.} A few hours later, they are put on a ship bound for Barren. -Before they board, they are inoculated for viruses. They are put onto a spaceship transporting soldiers and other prisoners who were bad enough but fortunate enough to be sent to be reeducated (minor criminals have things taken from them or forced to have their criminality publicly known, and major criminals are usually executed or forced to change through something like this.) To keep them, there are two soldiers for every prisoner, plus the crew. All the prisoners are criminals of some kind being sent to a reeducation center. The ship that the characters leave in has many simple and rugged features. It is very utilitarian. -The controls on the inside are very ugly. They are manual reads, using those number displays that flip and things similar to speedometers. The inside resembles a nuclear reactor, with all sorts of those little metal switches and things. -The exterior is some simple shape, and it is white and gray. The white paint shows up strongly in all spectrums in case the ship get stranded. Around the middle is a wide rotating cylinder that produces gravity. There are large thrusters on the back, and smaller jets all around to turn it. On the back, starting in the middle of the thrusters, is a crane like things with a sort of bolt gun. It shoots the bolts using a hammer and heat, and the crane means it can shoot anywhere like a turret. The interior is similar to a submarine, with metal things all over and small quarters. -One feature is a safe room with a heavy door that locks on both sides, with a lock for the lock on both sides so that it serve the purpose of a safe room and prison. The vehicle is piloted by extremely loyal technicians, who rarely ever interact with others. They have one supervisor from the advanced civilization. They regard him as some sort of heavenly representative, who they think is there to correct their mistakes and guide them through their complex work. He is actually more like a foreign worker, he is being payed luxuriously in valuable items for his work. Part of the contract is that he will become an enemy of the state if he tries to do anything against their wishes. He is a sort of passive person, and he is agnostic in many aspects of life. He is practically impartial to

anyone, though he is weakly anarchist. Part of his feelings of ambiguity is that he suggests reality might be a dream. He is smart, like many of his people, but he isn‟t a genius. It is not very uncommon to be an operator of a space vessel, it‟s about as common as train engineers in Ludin‟s country. -The design of the ship is for transport. It was not created to be a prison ship. It‟s meant to be a multi-purpose, reliable, simple transport, created for whatever uses the government might have. The technology that built it was more advanced, but it was made so that anybody who reverse-engineers it would be able to gain only a limited amount of technology from it. -Most of them are interested in this thing, but Ludin is in particular. He had only imagined such things, and he wonders about it. Realizes he has a huge interest in technology. The group already makes plans for stealing it while they are on. Some socialization with the supervisor goes on, and they learn about the schedule of it and if the guy could help them. They obviously can‟t steal it now, since there are so many guards. The ship lands in the desert in an empty area near some tracks among some buildings. It is a strange sort of settlement. It is entirely a transport center and depot, with a supply depot and railroads headed to many areas. As a sign of the inadaptability of the conquerors, many structures are not adapted to the conditions of the world, and are falling apart. The entire settlement is constructed around servicing and supporting the ship. They barely spend any time here, since they are escorted to a train bound for the camp. When the ship lands, everybody is offloaded so they can be put on a train. When they are out and waiting for the train, the supervisor yells out that he understands some of the Barreners have been in an uncomfortable place for a long time, so they can go and stretch their legs in the empty desert where they can be seen, and if anybody else feels like running into the desert they can. Most of the Barreners just start running, and shortly after Ludin feels an urge to try (he‟s never even seen such an empty area, and the strange air of the place and the opportunity to just run away makes him want to) He takes off his jacket and runs for a while, but after a couple minutes he gets really hot and has trouble breathing, and he vomits. The years of living in smog and the smoking have hurt his lungs, and he has to adjust to the new atmosphere. After waiting an hour, during which he becomes oriented a little, the train arrives and they are sent on a [eight hour] ride to the camp. Here, Ludin and his friends part ways. They are sent to Uliphya‟s town, where the Barreners will go back to their families and friends and the Homeworld conspirators make their own life. They are brought to an isolated camp in the middle of the desert. It is walled off like a prison. The purpose is total isolation, so they can be reeducated more easily while the risk of their spreading back into Homeworld society is minimized. They are all told that they have no chance of escaping from prison, since the desert is hot, dry, and empty. They are also told they would meet “hostile natives” and “monsters”. (The locals are only potentially hostile, and there are some very dangerous animals) The camps being on that

planet helps deter potential criminals, since most people think the planet is full of terrible barbarians and bad influences. -It not only has prisoners from Homeworld, but it also serves as an orientation school for Barreners moving to Homeworld. They are meant to assimilate as part of their assimilation by learning from the Homeworlders, but the overall effect is that the reeducation students take in the propaganda slower. -The place is also like a small military camp, since most Homeworld presence is either education centers like these (meant to serve the state) or military camps. -Oases of the vast desert are connected by lengthy lines of straight train tracks. The ride to Uliphya‟s town is no longer than two days. Even though it is many hundreds of miles, the trains are able to go very fast. The tracks and the trains are designed that way. -It is situated in a place of defence, although nobody has ever attacked. -Ludin was specifically sent to that one because it is the closest camp to that town, and Uliphya‟s mother is meant to evaluate him. -The teachers in the institution are often changed in order to prevent them from assimilating. This creates a flaw, since every new administrator must be taught how things work. -Ludin stays for about three months. This ends up helping him sort of ease into the new environment, and it is his introduction to the world beyond. (The two and some others share a want that is seemingly unattainable, of leaving and experiencing and possibly becoming something greater.) He learns about the place from the other students. All the students have somewhat specialized education, but since Ludin is meant to become an Aristocrat his is more special. The instructors only know that he is meant to have training to make him suitable for official duty, and that Uliphya‟s mother has precedence over his education. The instructors give him nicer consideration, since he seems more important and more respectable than the other students because of his specific education instructions. {The situation around this time is going to be complex.} His friends are all living in Uliphya‟s hometown, except for Illimis who is being kept as a hostage by the principal. The supervisor sells the identity of the principal a couple of days after they disclose it to him. {Instead of them selling it to him, maybe the information should be given to an Aristocrat on the planet. This guy will work with them later, and it doesn‟t seem right if he does things only for money. Maybe the Principal reveals his identity only to Ludin after he agrees to be taught to become an aristocrat, and perhaps he then deftly trusts him now that he has a hostage. But then, it would mean that his trust destroyed everything. Maybe somehow it could be his mistrust that fails him? If it does, Ludin perhaps thinks about it and then gives the name to the supervisor. Maybe there can be a sort of “counter- invasion” plot, where angry Barreners gather to attack Homeworld. Come to think of it, the name of the principal being known shortly after Ludin‟s departure would lead to an obvious correlation by the principal, and that would lead to Illimis‟s death. She might make plots herself, and end up being the cause of chaos. Maybe she could go to the reeducation center, and Ludin is kept as the hostage? He stays in the school for a few months, since Illimis would be killed if he didn‟t. It is

chaos among the aristocrats and Homeworld that allows her to escape, and then he hears about it and leaves the school. Maybe the guy from the ship is intelligent and able enough to manipulate things and help the scheme. The supervisor might also see them as the most interesting people he‟s met in years. He might also have learned to loath the Homeworlders. Maybe Uliphya takes a part in this. Maybe the other rebels feel thankful to him, since he almost managed to get to a ship with them, and it‟s because of his deal that they were left with their lives. The plot doesn‟t have to be as ambitious as destroying the Principal, they just need to make room for chaos, which could be do ne by creating an opening for an aristocrat to try taking power.} Tentative outcome: They became friendly with the supervisor from the ship, and they learn he is loathsome of Homeworlders. That means they might rely on him at a later day. On the trip to Barren, they already begin scheming. The scheme is to simply damage the status quo, though Ludin doesn‟t hope to ever be released at the time the scheme begins. On the ship, they ask fr the help of the supervisor, who is willing to eventually betray the government if they make it possible. While Ludin is in the reeducation place, the Principal feels like Illimismis might also make an entertaining and interesting aristocrat. A few weeks after sending Ludin away, he allows her to socialize with other aristocrats instead of keeping her locked in his palace, though she is still controlled and watched very carefully. {this leading to the downfall brings the point that the system must be strict} She does not restrain her opinions at first, but then she learns it would help to gain the manners of them and to fit in. (they are more thoughtful and interesting than average commoners, although they are also more hypocritical and inconsiderate.) She brings herself into their good graces by acting more like them. She learns a deal more things about how that world works. (it isn‟t that easy for her, though. She meets with blocks and suspicions, and she does it without any real friends supporting her. The Principal doesn‟t warm up to her as much as to Ludin, but she gets close to a lot of powerful people. She even picks up some aristocrat manners and culture. All the while, she is under close watch.) After a few months, the principal makes a small accident that lets her reveal his identity to an aristocrat. Now that his identity is out, he can be attacked. Maybe she can be sending messages to Barren while she is there somehow, brewing more chaos. Barreners angry with Homeworld might want to go there directly, to cause trouble or aid any sort of rebellion since keeping them busy in their own country will make them less willing to attack their world. His own friends might also hear about this and plan to help him out of the school. (It is the principal‟s breaking of tradition that ends up foiling the state. Principals have been very slow to allow anybody into the aristocracy just because they interest them, or at least they don‟t allow people in if they might threaten things (since numerous people have become Aristocrats through ambition) During his time in the school, he learns the teachings but accepts them the same way as when he was in military school. He makes it seem like they are getting to him. He makes some more friends here? His friends in this place are countrymen that are different from other Homeworlders, like him (Most of the students are problem people, like him.) He also knows a number of Barreners who are attending the school in order to get jobs on Homeworld. A number of Barrener students buy into the propoganda, but some have other reasons for going there, usually to get high-paying jobs serving aristocrats. His ability to collaborate is limited, since the place is not very different from a prison.

Prisoners have little time to communicate privately, since whenever they are not watched they can still be heard by other inmates (most of them are convinced of the propaganda.) Techniques and methods used in the reeducation school: -They are made to watch propaganda films and lectures. Those that can read are given books that explain why their nation is great. (Remembe r that commoners are kept so unaware that most think they are living in the only civilization.) -The major focus there is re- indoctrination. They try to turn people who have grown apart from the ideology of everybody else back into assets. Many have beco me the way they are after discovering facts that seem to contradict what they have learned. -They have to write letters and confessions in which they explain how they were wrong to do whatever they did. They must deny facts they have learned, even though anybody who knows a little about life on Barren would see blatant contradictions of -The whole time, they are put to work. In society, they are expected to do their share of work, and so they can‟t be taking breaks here. -Part of the reeducation is enforcing the paranoia that is integral to the state. -As a settlement, it looks like a miniaturized version of the metropolis. It is built using the only techniques the Homeworld constructor knew. An aqueduct (This one is a narrow, deep river of mountain water. It is not as efficient as Barrener-built ones) bring water in one side, and on the other side it comes out filled with waste and garbage, which pools a few miles away. The place has a wall around it, and the other structures are built vertically in the middle. The space between the cluster of buildings and the wall are used for agriculture. The most dependable students and the instructors and soldiers live in the top parts (Not the most efficient way to watch prisoners.) - (techniques) -There is a constant threat of worse treatment if they fail to learn, usually taken to mean torture, removal of good treatment, and even death. The work is mostly the same as on Homeworld, except it contributes to maintaining the faltering education center (Even though reeducation has been a practice for many years, this new center (40 years old, when they started building them on that planet) is badly constructed for the environment and the staff is usually incompetent. -There are reeducation centers on Homeworld too, but the ones on the planet are less likely to have escapees. The inmates here are usually more dangerous to the status quo than others. Ludin was sent to this one because he wanted to know his other friends are safe, plus his escape would be very threatening if he went to a school on Homeworld. Ludin does a lot to convince the instructors he is absorbing the propoganda. “You have defeated me, and I resign to the victors” He is asked to discipline other students to prove his loyalty, but he says that he cannot do that now that he knows he was the same. This sort of thing is hard for the instructors to grasp, but they accept the excuse anyway. Every few weeks, Uliphya‟s mother visits so she can make a report on his progress to the Principal. It is during her first visit that Uliphya and Ludin meet for the first time in years. He is nervous and very interested in seeing his friend. They are happy to see each other, and many things come up. Ludin is happy but a little distant at first, but she is more outgoing. For a while when he was in the army he felt deserted by her, since she was his

only tie to the outside. He felt much better when her brother and others came partially on her behalf, knowing that his first real friends still cared. During their first talk, they just talk about their lives so far and their feelings. During consequent visits, they talk deeply about things, getting into beliefs and ambitions. She is stoically accepting her mother‟s control over her. Even though at this point she is living a better life than he was while in the army, she is unhappy. The way they grew up might be expected to make them contradictory personalities. {At this point, she is vocal and observant of the ideological issues that arise form their circumstances, and the meaning of their actions (probably because she is debating what she herself should do. She makes Ludin think about these things, ultimately leading to both of them making up their minds about major decisions. Observe how Shakespeare brought this up in his characters dialogue. Also, their philosophical questions are different. His questions are more on the human level (such as ethics), and hers are mostly on a level beyond that, such as the nature of life. Eventually they grow more similar.} Ludin gained most of his knowledge from talking with people, while she learned from tutoring and schooling. At this point, however, they are actually of similar minds. One large thing is that they have learned reality is much more complex than they have been told. Both are very sad about the positions they are in. They are both aware of some greater universe outside their worlds, and they both want to see it. (The idea of greater things outside his world is attractive to him since he is so disappointed with the stupidity of Homeworld. She was always very entertained by new things since she visited Homeworld the first time, and she is mindful of her mortality as other Barreners are (their 50 year lifespan is sadly short of the many years Homeworlders live) and so she wants to seek the great things that might exist out there. {remember that they are also have strong imaginations as well.} She is more familiar with science and genera l knowledge than he is, so she is more aware of what amazing things might be in space than he is. They share a desire to leave their lives and see the greater things that are beyond their star. Ludin would be completely happy to leave his world, but she still has ties to hers. Her desire to leave is really propelled by how unimpressed she is with her society when it‟s compared to the ones that might exist outside of hers. It is also helped by fictional stories she has heard. (Barren has literature, incLuding speculative science fiction, written by scholars.) They both feel oppressed and limited where they are. Ludin by society, and Uliphya by her mother (and to an extent Ludin‟s society.) They also both see foolishness in both worlds and hope that some greater place in space will be a refuge from that. When they talk together, it‟s a nice break from usual life for Ludin and a pleasant visit with a similar friend for Uliphya, but they have less than an hour every time. Her mother checks with the instructors in the meantime, and then she interviews him, during which he pretends to be absorbing the things the instructors try to drill into him. He recites key things and generally goes along with it all. {At this time she has sort of a sad face, and she look melancholy. She thought she would be able to live free and become somebody, but instead she is just the daughter of an eccentric, somewhat infamous woman.} -Notice that both of them get the chance to climb socially, but reject them and leave. -Remember that she is to be a character as prominent as Ludin. -She is really different from what Homeworld men would find attractive.

While he is in the reeducation school and Illimis is living among the aristocrats, the old gang is living in Uliphya‟s hometown. The Barreners return to their families, but at first the Homeworld people have nowhere to go. Luckily, none of the numerous Homeworld residents (officials, soldiers, and administration workers moved in since her mother agreed to help them take the town, living clustered together in a sort of mansion) know about them. They were given the same train tickets as the rest, and after the ride they were dropped off the train. None of the Barrener friends can put them up, since they left their families and homes and their families can‟t just accept them. The older brother leaves them at the station while he goes to ask local friends if they can help (while spending time with them, he became much friendlier) While waiting at the station, (How many were there now? 5?) they are approached by a man who offers to hire them. Homeworlders are reputed to be reliable laborers, and he sees they are totally lost and so he can give them inferior payment. On Barren, they have money, but on Homeworld they have a labor queue. Had they come as part of a labor group or in the army, they might know where to start. He brings them to an empty site outside of town where he is putting up apartments. He tells them they can live with him and he‟ll feed them while they work. He tells them they will get some money when the place is done, and he quickly pushes them to sign a contract written in the local Barren language. He acts very benign at first, but as soon as they start working they see he isn‟t very generous. There are other immigrants from Homeworld on the site, mostly runaways from the military or second generation. It turns out the guy is in the same league as Uliphya‟s mother, and this town is being turned into a Homeworld center. The man was put in charge of constructing this building for the anticipated influx of immigrants, and the government is paying him in gold to build it. They expected the world to be more mystical, but it turns out to be surprisingly mortal. They are being riped off, just like they were on Homeworld. The people here are not magical in any way. The place is foreign, but because of their mistreatment they see bad people exist everywhere. This knowledge makes them want to leave more, but at the same time it changes their expectations for whoever lives outside the worlds. Since they are rejects with unusual ideology, these people aren‟t as industrious as their countrymen, which angers the contractor. During the first day of work, the older brother finds them and is afraid for their future, afraid of what the man might do to them. This is the only alternative to living with their old friends, so they continue even though the man is unfair. They learn about living here though, and life is sort of normal for them now. They wish they could do something about the conditions (which would be acceptable on Homeworld), but most of them imagine they might never leave and so they are plan for the long term. Some of them just leave his employ when they find a fairer job somewhere else in town. It isn‟t until they are fired, when the state pulls funds for the project, that they leave their job and the planet (about three months later). -The gang actually meets her mother a few times, since she is the local Homeworld official. They meet Uliphya too. Meanwhile, the other Barreners are living with their families (except for the brother, who

is living with friends). They are all still friends, but since their original plan of taking a spaceship failed they are making a new plan. Their plan revolves around taking the ship with the help of the supervisor, who they contact once in a while when he comes to the planet. They want to help Ludin, but they know he can‟t leave since Illimis would be killed. They would do something if they could, and Uliphya is as sad as ever, feeling like life for both of them will be very different from what they want in the foreseeable future. After about two months, Illimis gives information on the Principal‟s identity to an aristocrat. Two weeks later, some move is made against the principal by the aristocrat who was given the name. He has his own people find out everything they can about him. He has people watch his public manor (Aristocrats are similar to Lords) Now that he knows who he is, he can use his own tremendous wealth to rob the power from him. The aristocrat tries to orchestrate a quiet takeover within the Aristocracy by using his own private Barrener mercenaries to kill him in his fortress, (The most secretive place in the world, without any outwardly appearing doors and few windows.) but it fails since they underestimated the extent of security. It escalates dramatically after that. None of the mercenaries knew the identity of their own employer, so the Principal does not discover the identity of the Aristocrat that tries too supplant him. Immedia tely after the coup fails, the aristocrat begins his second, more dramatic plan. He spreads his own evidence of the state being corrupt inside, and being weaker than ever due to stupid loyalist aristocrats who have been seduced by outside influences. (He makes up history to support this, since nobody knows history anyway) He uses the control methods that have been so common to easily influence the commoners. All the while, he keeps his own identity secret until he becomes powerful enough. Separation grows within the Arostocracy, as different people seem to have more power than others, swaying how the fickle aristocrats pick sides. -It is the inflexibility of the society and state that makes the problems so dramatic. The state was very vulnerable to all disturbances. One example is that the people readily believe anything. Another is that the government was structured to prevent mutiny, not fight it. The chaos puts the government into an emergency mode, resembling an extremely oppressive dystopia. All the propaganda techniques are used to their full extent by the present state and the competing state. The military is converted to an emergency peacekeeping force, but with the chaotic changes in power two divisions that fought one day might fight each other the next. Illimis, on the day she gave the Principal‟s identity, requested that the aristocrat sends a paper message to Ludin. It is worded ambiguously, but in a way Ludin would understand. It tells him that opportunities may soon arise for escape, and he should consider himself free of restraints when they do. On the night of the attempted assassination, Illimis is helped to escape by the mercenaries. She is brought to the Aristocrat‟s mansion. He treats her with gratitude and lets her live with him and act with freedom. In the chaos, she has his protection. She secretly pulls together a new rebellion. {Among all the people, there are independent

thinkers who have been told enough contradictions to decide they will follow neither side. Illimis wants to bring them to her side, but they would be stronger and she would be in less danger if she brought them to the aristocrat‟s side. He supports the idea of her allying these people with him, since they would be more dangerous if left to their own or allied with the state (the state can still sway them). She recruits these people, posing as an independent person who used to be an aristocrat‟s servant. She leads them with her aristocrat‟s guiding, but secretly she is setting it up so they can act as an independent group later. Eventually he finds out about her scheme, but among the chaos she has the only dependable, loyal people, and she is easily able to escape. After this, she merges with other rebels in the foreign countries. The foreign countries, being less turbulent than the others and having much fewer military invasions, are finally able to pull together and merge into a cohesive sort of administration, in which Illimis becomes a leader. The purpose of this government is specifically to counter the Aristocracy. Illimis is not an ambitious or aggressive person, but she is very sensible and unusually knowledgeable. Basically, she doesn‟t have masculine traits. She knows how to run things perhaps, and she is really a leader more than an active worker. She doesn‟t work for her own ambitions, she is trying to make things better, and her unusually good choices make her a leader. Feminine features are thought of as very beautiful there, and many people adore her beauty. People should expect Ludin to try reclaiming his family title. Maybe afterward, his parents are restored as aristocrats because of some rules, and they accept despite who they are, what happened, and what Ludin would expect of them. Perhaps the law spares his family from punishment because the y used to be in a higher position, and the feds think better of them. Should being up the point that because very few people run from the army, they are bad at catching runaways. The leader of the gang they lived with for a time, though he wasn't really a good person, is later mythicised and turned into a hero. At the time of the Homeworld rebellions, most rebels are actually people serving their Aristocrats as before, but the only truly, reliably good one is the one headed by Illimis. Among the others, there is a great disregard of life, but not in hers. Homeworld has several simultaneous rebellions sprouting up at the same time. That‟s just how it would probably work. After the initial rebellions are finished by failing or something, The emergency on Homeworld cuts off their presence on Barren. Ludin breaks free a month after Illimis‟s revelation. He doesn‟t so much break out as walk out. The center‟s instructors are cut off from contact after being told there is an emergency and to focus on detainment. They are also told to be strict on the prisoners and that they have permission to kill if the prisoners are too rowdy. Despite the harsh orders, organization falls apart quickly. Some Barreners were planning some sort of rescue, but Ludin just walks out with some friends and supply and commandeers a train to the hometown. (The trains are practically unmanaged now. He just takes an engine and heads in the right direction. When he gets there, he still insists on parking it on a side track even though proto col is

broken down.) This town is a little chaotic since the government lost it‟s power on that world. Uliphya‟s mother encouraged and played a large part in the government . She was thought of as a stupid collaborator, climbing a social ladder at the expense of the rest. (She also helped them take the town because she embraces their culture.) At the time when she began it, the town was a democracy. The monarchial family would have total power until it was challenged, at which time a vote must be held to decide whether they stay or if they are replaced with a new family. It worked for a log time, since the irregular history favors convenient changes. Some families might be frequently elected to the monarchial position, and Uliphya‟s family was one of these. (This was partial in her reasoning that she ought to take over) The mother was interested in bringing the principles of homeworld into the town since before her family was elected. This is part of the reason her husband didn‟t wish to continue any sort of relationship with her after the children were a little mature. After her husband left her, the people questioned if they wanted her to be the only one running the town. It also had the effect of making her eccentric mind crazier. She institutionalized more of Homeworld into the town. -She isn‟t from a rich family until later. Her mother is an adopter of the Homeworld values, and is trying to get Homeworld government help to become the boss of the town. Maybe when they get into contact with the supervisor of the ship they were on, he tells them he can take them in a few months, on the return trip to his home. He doesn‟t know who‟s fault it was that the government fell apart, but he isn‟t that bothered about it. Since he loathes his employers, he takes this time (of all times) to cash in on what they owe him. He has been doing his job for years, and he‟s sick of the routine and dullness. With this fortunate unemployment, he feels benign enough o take these people with once he‟s done with what he‟s doing. These few months give Ludin some free time, which he spends exploring and working on getting Uliphya out. He learns about her situation, and he catches up to her one day to talk. He hoped she would be able to leave with a little convincing, but she isn‟t quite ready. Now that the government is in Anarchy, it is only a matter of time before her mother loses her position. -In their pursuit of freedom, they lose the options of their life choices. -Does she have a weakness of worrying too much about others? She pressured others a lot to help Ludin out, and she stayed with her mother because she knows it would hurt her to leave. (In one scene, a narrator could be at her home. He observes how she lives in luxury, yet is so unappreciative of it. Her mother has her recite part of the ideology and act according to it, and the observer notices that she does even this without enthusiasm, (unnoticed by her mother) and he thinks that she is simply spoiled. Maybe after a while he realizes she can't stand her mother, like everyone else. -Another reason for staying might be that she already has a lot invested in it. Perhaps when it started, she was not only pressured into it, but also tempted by the rewards. When her mother dies, she would be the one to inherit everything. This could be one reason she stays. -Reasons she stayed: Inheritance, pressure from her mother and her circle, fear of

her mother‟s vulnerability, she was sort of separated from common society early on, her friends and the rest of the family have forsaken her as a lost brat, she has adopted the lifestyle. Reasons she leaves: Her situation depresses her, she is ashamed, she doesn‟t believe in the people she is with (it‟s contrary to who she is and what she‟s learned), the great discoveries to be made tempt her. -Her history: She was already a different person, although she kept it to herself until he came along brought it up. She received a lot of education, even up to when Ludin comes. She lived in one town, though it was a wealthy and cultured place, and she traveled a lot. Her mother was one of the people who favored Homeworld culture and saw it as superior. She tried to impart her new values on her kids at a young age (part of the reason she brought them on her visits), but none of them were willing. Like in the Aristocracy, the oldest children are given the most. (the children could have lived with their father, but the mother argued very strongly to keep them, and she received help form the state since by then she already had some favor with them.) Uliphya was the oldest child after her oldest son, who was outright unwilling to live with that. Uliphya was the second oldest, and also the most open minded (after the trip where she became met Ludin). Her mother decided she would be her successor. The other children received less, and so Uliphya would receive the most but she also would be expected to do what her mother wanted from her. She loved all her children, but Uliphya the most. She went along because at first she was willing to learn about the other world, but after that she pitied her mother as she was going crazy and life became easier for her as her mother took care of everything while her siblings lived on their own (She was about 18 when Ludin arrived, and he was 19. Children are expected to go on their own at 17.) In her last day [meaning year], she became less mature. Until her mother began to indulge her (raising her like an aristocrat) she pursued intelligent things. She was very sad about her isolation from the rest of the family, and she was ashamed of herself as well. She felt trapped though, since she didn‟t want to abandon her mother and reveal that she didn‟t actually like the Homeworld way. -“I never killed anyone while being sure that I ought to.”

She knows things will change soon, so she does what she can to make it softer on her mother. (She doesn‟t yet know what she is going to do from here) Others help, but principally just Ludin, who pities her mother and wants to make it so she comes with to space. (She is his best friend ever) She tries to bring her siblings and her mother back together, although a number of them plan on leaving and she meets with resistance from both. (She sees herself as taking care of her the whole time, not as leeching off her as others do.) A number of her mother‟s friends leave her already, because they were friends with her for the power. Uliphya tries to arrange things so her mother can keep some property if not her status by having things moved since the judgment of the town will be harsh. Her mother‟s pride makes this all harder. She gets in the way of her trying to change from a passive child. She can see her changing her friends and living by her actual ideals, and the situation plays similar to a when a young person with conservative parents becomes a hippie. Her mother is angry with Ludin, feeling he should have stayed in the school. She won‟t let him into the house. Also, her mother is very particular about

manners and tradition, like an Elizabethan gentle-person. She objects to all the things she does near the end, accepting her excuses for doing them but wondering what the neighbors will think. Her mother is so enthusiastic she even seems extreme to similar people. She should also be sort of unpleasant. One reason her mother is becoming distant relatively quickly is because she sees how her daughter isn‟t the same person she thought, and she doesn‟t belive in the teachings she wanted her to have. Perhaps Ulyphia should be shown to initiate or spur on her mother's loss. The big reason being she is bored with the royal life and wants to set out exploring the rest of the universe. There comes a point when she threatens Uliphya with removing her inheritance. This becomes moot when she loses everything to an angry constituency, with reconstituted laws that remove her power and generally bad treatment. It ends badly for her, as she loses everything else after losing her status. Her power declined with Aristocracy presence. They slowly disbanded when it became clear to them they couldn‟t win without powerful backing. There were instances of violence, but the slowness of the transition toward the old government was gradual and unstoppable. The day after elections, they kicked her out of the manor. She is left with no home, no friends, and no status whatsoever. Even though Uliphya did what she could to do well by her mother, she disowns her at this point, like she did her other children. She spends the last of her possessions for passage on a train. {Maybe in the power vacuum, some people monopolize the transportation and lifelines that span the deserts, connecting the pockets of civilization.} The last the main characters see of her is when she leaves on the train. She goes with the last Homeworlders to leave to a newly founded military citystate, which is considered the last refuge for Homeworlders in the world. She ends up becoming a servant to the Aristocrats (A little ironic. Maybe insinuate this or make it a small side note in somebody else‟s narrative.) Ludin knows that there is great danger in wandering the world, but some people think he should see what the world has to offer. Instead of waiting out, they go on a sort of "grand tour". They all now have a few months to settle some things for the final time before they are picked up. His friends from the old gang are unemployed but free of restrictions since the employer left. This is Ludin‟s first chance to tour the world a little. It's the first time he's free, and it changes him. -Present company includes: Ulyphia, Ludin, her brother Akasqir, the zealous rebel from the gang… -It is realized that things might be unsafe. There is a generally happy and safe mood around the world that Homeworld is absent as a threat. There are also causes to be wary, such as new powers coming up and lawlessness. It is suggested that they should leave the town because Ludin was on the agenda of the Principal. -the aristocracy and the Romans demand conformity from the conquered, or else they are destroyed. This was strict, and somebody had the idea that it wo uld be more effective if they just not have tax demands or anything, but they do a few things to absorb the culture. Of course, good ideas don't last long in that culture if they are their newness is unacceptable.

Notes about what happens to them in this time and on Barren: Readers might relate to her struggle to break free from her constraints, and may sympathize when she does. When he is on Barren, he thinks about his artist friend, and thinks how he would have enjoyed the place so much. Personally, she works to cut herself off from the world. She essentially had two choices: leaving for some indefinite amount of time, or staying with her mom. She would rather have both, but now, as happened to Ludin, she is slowly losing choice. She could stay on her world, but now that she has lost the benefits of her formerly powerful mother she doesn‟t want to stay. Maybe this becomes apparent to her as she wanders the world with Ludin. One way she learns this is that one she sees how wonderful her world is to Ludin, she also wants to have experiences like that. Another thing is that she is reminded of the limitations of the world, and since it obviously won‟t be improving soon she gives up on it. All her friends are leaving too. It is Ludin‟s insistence and help that is responsible for this, really. Otherwise, she would have stayed and lived like any other person there. Ludin helps convince her to give it up and leave. When Ludin and company get to Barren, he really thinks about what he has learned. He becomes quite uncertain about things, and begins second- guessing himself. Uliphya at this time relearns things, since she took life lightly during her teen years. When he becomes an uncertain person, she (even though she learns to see things as uncertain soon after) acts with strength. When it is found out that Barreners and Homeworlders can have children together, it becomes clearer that they are the same species. “You know, even after all their failures, they think their way is better.” “In the hundreds of years they have been on this planet, they don‟t ever learn. They hold their way to be the best way ever, and changing would mean admitting they were wrong. There must be something different between them and us that allows us to learn so much quicker.” “Isn‟t it that they are stupid?” “It is true they are mostly dumb, but what about those of them that have left and adapted to life on our world? They are wiser, they have given up their pride and adapted.” He meets some Homeworlders living on their own in a small house in the desert. They survive on the local flora and fauna. The whole area around their house is empty of cactus and other plants. The foolishness of their lifestyle is reflected by this, since they avoid the conclusion that the resources will run out, and they will eventually have to leave their (permanently built) house or die. In a poem or something, it is said they are like fire. They burn hot, but their time is very limited. They burn brightly until the near end, when they falter and the fuel of their life eventually runs out. Compared to the Homeworlders, they have depressingly short lives, which is a motivation for those that want to leave. The Homeworlders are like Ice, being cold to difference and seemingly hard to break. (the army can‟t be beaten in a direct engagement, but it is easily beaten in other ways.) Ice lasts forever, unless the temperature warms. Only fire melts ice. This is akin to how change is key to bringing down the society. How like youth they all are in knowledge, and how like old men they are in curiosity and willingness to change.”

Uliphya and Ludin are foils to each other. Not totally though. After the dangers are passed, Ludin tries to decide what to make of all this. He has a hard time coming to terms with what everything he has seen means. Uliphya understands it better, and clears it up for him. A person‟s heredity does not settle who they are, reality is not black and white. He feels he will be unable to change from his people, as if they are a separate species of animal. Why did she want him to be rescued? What are all her motivations? Remember that he influences her as she did him. She influenced him when he was young, maybe now he influences her? Yes. He was a commoner until he was shown different things by her, and she isn‟t particularly unique until he comes along. Since she met Ludin, she has been very empathetic for his well being and the state of life on the planet. The feelings of other Bsrreners for Homeworders usually range from apathy to hate. Usually the ones that actually know somebody from that world have any sympathy. Even up to the time the siblings met Ludin, they thought of the Homeworlders negatively. Even though they were told positive things, they knew not to accept everything their mother says, and all o f their experiences with Homeworlders until then were negative. They saw men trying to take as many liberties with their mother‟s offers as possible. They were vigilantly watched with suspicion by everyone who noticed them. She has seen dualities in human nature too. Not only is she knowledgeable in history, but she has seen much. Her mother is not only somewhat crazy, but she also keeps her by dramatizing her problems and taking all her sympathy. Her mother was never totally sane, and she became worse when the father of the children left. She had the illusion that his relationship would last permanently, as they do on Homeworld, but he left his wife after the kids matured enough to take care of themselves, and she became crazier after that illusion was broken. He wanted to raise the kids, but she won that right. possible addition: She already has a one-year old child. She had it with a man early on in her “loose living” phase. The child would be a newborn when her brother and friends left for Ludin. Later, she leaves the child and her man, allowing her mother to take care of it. Why does she leave? Is she upset with the world and willing to leave everything for whatever potential wonders are out there? Remember that she is now as major as Ludin. Figure o ut her traits. She is highly educated and knows about applying logic. Maybe, therefore, she should have comparable or faster skills in wisdom. The Aristocracy has tried many times to assert itself in parts of Barren. They usually fail through incompetency, their soldiers and workers fail to adapt. (However, this fact does work into the long term plans of the principal) In the long term (They started relations 200 years ago, when they received space technology from a third party) they have helped the planet a lot with technology, a sort of standard worldwide government (not a powerful one, but one that makes things easier by doing things such as providing a common currency and language), and they have brought overall peace among the population now that most aggressiveness is directed toward the government. A number of Homeworlders who were moved to the planet for military purposes have deserted their government and immigrated. They are known for doing hard work and providing knowledge in their areas of expertise (which has helped the population by

giving them more technological knowledge). Immigrants meet with varying acceptance, though it‟s often surprisingly good, since the immigrants are usually people readily able to adapt and accept their new environment. They even breed with Barreners (they are all actually humans, but they are just more genetically different than people on modern Earth). The Aristocracies actions are irregular and their plans are unclear. Sometimes they actually try to conquer (which is easy since they have the technological and numerical advantage), and then they usually fail to hold their cities or territory by a failure to adapt and by the ignorance of their military leaders and soldiers. Over time, they have managed to slowly assimilate Barren (such as in language and how people have willingly accepted them in parts). The presence on Barren is actually directionless. It does provide the Principal Aristocrats with experience they can learn from and adapt to society in preparation for a future of spreading their ways. They actually could devastate Barren, but their purpose is assimilation. The Principal always learns the full history of his predecessors, and part of the big plan is to assimilate other subspeciess into the Aristocracy slowly in a way that can bring strength without weakening the status quo. The thing is that any influx of soldiers on Barren assimilates it more. A time would come in the future when the society of the Aristocracy and the conditions on Barren would be prime to make a major move. A small example is shown in the workers brought to the Aristocracy. They are unlikely to change the people they come in contact with (since the Aristocrats are very happy with their place), but they might be the first to assimilate. (Maybe there could be some Aristocrat children born from Barreners and Homeworlders?) On both planets, there is a presence of people from the nearby advanced civilization. They treat Homeworld scientifically, respecting their unique place and plans for the future, like anthropologists that mostly neutrally observe small and relatively benign culture. They interact with the head Aristocrat only. They are willing to give his society good technology, but it doesn‟t fit into his plans. He just uses it for necessar y things such as keeping the planet from becoming unlivable, and he took a little technology for spaceships so he could begin assimilation. They also observe Barren, but they don‟t directly talk to anybody because they don‟t regard anybody as major enough to deal with them. They want to let them develop more overall before they share technology. The nearby civilization isn‟t the one that the founder and his colleagues came from, that society has gone on to something greater, outside of the universe. This civilization is actually another ideological offshoot from that one. Chaos was ignited when the principal‟s identity was revealed to an aristocrat. This aristocrat starts his own rebellion to steal the power. This upsets many things, including Homeworld power on Barren. After the Aristocracy pulls out of Barren, the people who hated them so much decide to attack them on their own world. Maybe this is actually orchestrated by somebody who doesn‟t want the militants to fight each other. Maybe somebody else tries to make them the foundation for a world army, someone who wants to create a worldwide government to fill the power vacuum. It‟s an alien invasion. Maybe they work with Illimis, and it happens a few months after the departure. It could be that Illimis doesn‟t actually command them, but gets the right people to be in charge of them. What sort of weapons do they use? Industrialization on Barren in the past was entirely controlled and used by Homeworld. Industry is very small in most areas, but it dominates in the larger cities. Many individuals posses pre- industiral weapons, which were usually

used half for war and half for fighting dangerous animals. Swords, spears, and crossbows mostly. Guns are associated with disreputable people, like bandits and conquerors. The invasion forces are mostly armed with second- hand guns and traditional melee weapons. The smart ones know they can‟t win at direct engagement, but they excel at sneaking around and fighting close. Called the Army of Dawn Ludin should have interaction with the nomadic scholar- monks. Short Narrative telling from point of view of two soldiers on Barren, or perhaps from the narrative of the Vendetta Agent “We brought them peace.” One might be a veteran, the other might be a recruit. Barren has mythologies, but it‟s very confusing. The same story might exist in many cultures but have many differing details. Some might involve visitors from elsewhere. Over time, they both learn the complexity of things. For example, the schools are not educational but social institutions. He realizes on Barren that everything on Homeworld existed as a social institution. They eventually learn that everything is relative. The Barren religions usually have lots of gods and deities. Their religions, just like the religion of Homeworld, has many personifications. Make the point that it‟s a common thing. With the huge mix of religions and cultures and because of the quickly changing nature of the world, religious beliefs developed to be very flexible. On barren, loyalties are not very broad usually. They are usually limited to family and less so to friends and community. It's not uncommon for people to make major decisions of allegiance simply because they like someone. Crime (Although it may not be called that since government is small or absent in many parts) is often seen differently. Criminals aren't looked at as evil, just as people who made that career choice, perhaps for acceptable reasons. Most of the time, attitude doesn't prevent intentions of killing on either side. There are criminals who are worse about it, but usually there are ways people can tell what kind of criminals they meet. -In some example of this, the characters may be traveling when they are stopped by a gang of bandits. In this example, the attitude of the place may be that whenever people go to a life of crime, it's because they are desperate. Because of this, people are expected to give them what they ask for, and neither the thieves or those stolen from are expected to fight or have any hard feelings. The monks say that humans can be aware of who they are and they have the capacity to know the outer world, unlike other animals. It is their order‟s position to be an eternal source of peace, in case the world falls apart in war. They do not take sides, but they work to support human endeavors as a whole. They are monks, but religion is not constant among them. They are more like scientists. "Were we sheep, watched by a shepherd? Sheep that grew into great beasts and killed the shepherd?" "No, the shepherd was never there. But we have overcome and killed him anyway." In Africa, genocides and such are committed by people who are dedicated to what they believe in. Nearly every person believes they are good, and inflexibility prevents them from improving. From Ludin‟s and F‟s point of view, they are learning about different people and these concepts sort of like children do. When they leave their homes or shortly after, they

abandon many pre-conceived ideals and notions to learn about the worlds outside. [CAN SHOW THAT THESE ABOVE-AVERAGE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE CONSTANTLY EVOLVE AS THE PEOPLE THEY MEET GIVE THEM NEW INSIGHT THAT SPURS THEIR EMOTIONAL, MORAL, AND POLITICAL GROWTH.] Some scholars may prefer to train immigrants from Homeworld, anticipating that they will live longer and preserve the knowledge they learn longer. Maybe it would be a typical Barren thing to prefer to take prisoners during conflict than killing. There is less animosity. The monk order on Barren came along because of the need for some constant, worldwide sense. The planet had a huge number of religions and cultures, since civilization existed in so many small pockets. Conflict and highly mixed interpretations of facts contributed to uncertainty. The order developed out of the nomadic groups that moved with the sunrise. Rumors are common over the exact details, such as if it had one founder, what group it came from, etc. -The group has few rules. It is not religion specific, although at the time of the story they are largely non-religious (because of the relatively recent boost in knowledge). They usually just don‟t talk about religion, and the rules never mention religion. They are common throughout the world and similar to moving universities. For a time earlier on, the monks had a more religious type of organization. Meditation with deliberation was a major part, but now these places have turned to centers of knowledge; even laboratories. Are Barreners physically capable as well as fairly smart because of all the incentives for evolution? Because Barreners are so individual, they judge others on their individual qualities and so prejudice by race is small. Inborn bias is culturally defeated. It could be made so that it's a sign of refinement to have soft hair on barren, as the weather toughens it. In some lesser known parts of the world, there are nomadic herders who violently fight each other for good land. Some parts of Barren and other undeveloped worlds could be like this. On Barren and other places, it could be shown that so me people pushing their ways onto less developed people can easily be disastrous because these methods replace some very well developed ones. Trying to spread the American Free Market every where many many starve. With all the deserts on Barren, they might develop some sort of land-yachts. Wild weather might produce very strong winds, which could be powerful wnoguh to pull something wheeled across sand. There is a lot to be done with their times on Barren. There are plenty of ideas specific to that place. Maybe they should spend over a year on that planet. One vehicle that could work in the desert might be a large, wooden thing with wheels on the bottom and a sort of windmill mechanism for propulsion. It would be made of very light materials. Also, the wheels should have these things like treads on them. A pair of wheels next to each other have a leather belt like a figure eight, which give extra traction for the sand. On Barren, they might encounter a character from Homeworld who possesses some of those traits of an independent person in the wilds, like the character of an

Australian wilderness man. He has independence and knowledge of all sorts. Maybe they hire him to help them survive those who are chasing them. The monks have a common number system works the same as ours. The Homeworld system is the same, but the actual numbers are different. People all over tend to use one or the other. The monks numbers come from symbols all over. The Homeworld numbers are simple; each one has a corresponding number of lines. Maybe they look like this: In the region they pass through where they are robbed, there are a few additional details: At least one person with them considers it actually rude not to pay them anything, because this region is historically destitute. There is no way to sustain it but to take money from travelers. In fact, this is particularly advantageous to take money from travelers because the area is a passage which would be inconvenient for many to go around. This area is a very arid mountain range with a lot of volcanic activity, making it unstable and having few resources and difficult ways to exploit them. Once, during a particularly ambitious capaign of conquest, this area was held by the army. It was eventually lost, but since then a sort of basic government has arisen. The bandits are really just the soldiers of this government, taking tolls to fund their existence. It's essentially how many governments came to be; with somebody asserting power. The vendetta agent should go through here sometime. -“You are reluctant to kill your countrymen, who you know to be doing evil, yet you are hasty to kill these people you don‟t even know about?” They see the way that world will fail when they see a community led by Homeworld immigrants who integrate into general society and slowly bring their own culture into it. In this slow way, the world eventually is likely to become an extension of Homeworld. The monks are the best likelihood for advancement on the planet. Knowledge is often formed through traditional stories and such, but scientific research expands knowledge beyond that which is used for simply surviving. However, the tolerance for them is limited. Because of the often changing conditions of the p lanet, there is generally a high tolerance for differences because it has been good for survival. Many of the scholars have little to prevent them from becoming atheists. The biggest conflicts against them come from traditionalists who's beliefs in how reality functions are uncomfortably different from theirs. Sometime, they should run into one of those battlegroups that fails and becomes stuck. Since they never bring them back, they always end up losing eventually. Almost always, they are inevitably defeated. Afterwards, they might disperse into the population or they might be killed. (On a resource-scarce world, the victors might just take whatever they can and leave them, or they might kill them, or perhaps enslave them.) This group they meet is a military battalion of a few hundred who is trying to survive and hold out as long as possible. Their fate is uncertain. Occasionally, criminals that do significant things against the Homeworld presence are regarded as heroes. They meet some people and their leader. This leader uses the fears they have of the Homeworlders to have power over them. A captain says to some soldiers “If you run off I‟ll kill you!”, they keep running. Almost kills them, but says “Fine. Die later than sooner.”

One distinct difference in Homeworlders on Barren was that they showed signs that they did not know how to take care of themselves in this environment. A prominent feature was that they didn‟t tend to protect their faces from the wind and sun, giving them that leathery look. The character who resembles the Vietnam-psycho type comments that the place must be the border of hell. It‟s not all nice. One thing is that they go through at least one place with totally unfair rules, such as killing a child to punish a parent. In another place, “Stupidity is no excuse.” Sometime, while they are wandering Barren, some gang offers protection. “They would rather have it this way than try and fight us. I believe if we were attacked they would betray us if they felt they could defeat us.” Ludin realizes he‟d done this before himself, as part of the metropolis mob. Ulhyphia: ”I believe I can eventually be happy here, and I might find some acceptable explanation of reality. This is not enough for me. There are things I can never know and never have if I stay here.” Humans today have measurable brain tendencies to get used to or be against changes. In a brain test, they saw if certain people reacted to changing images more adeptly. Democrats were better at adapting to changes than Republicans. The Barreners are very open to new changes, and they rarely tend to have mindsets that can be compared to conservatives. Barreners are more narrow than Homeworlders. People of cold areas tend to be stouter, so here they are more lithe. Women seem more elegant and men gangly. Consider that men and women are more able to be friends and don‟t have to be romantically involved. How do Barreners treat the retarded or disabled? It would probably come down to personal things. Norms and rules of behavior are very erratic. Generally, it would probably happen a lot since there is more radiation and genetic variation, so perhaps people would generally have to adapt to it and make use. On Barren, he fully realizes that his is the inferior culture. Ludin might think of individual traits as counting for groups in the very early times, ending sometime after he leaves Barren. This is, of course, stereotyping. -Sometime, while they are wandering Barren, some gang offers protection. “They would rather have it this way than try and fight us. I believe if we were attacked they would betray us if they felt they could defeat us.” Barren is supposed to be larger in circumference, but about the same weight as Earth or Homeworld. It is simply thinner, and it‟s tectonics are often affec ted by the powerful underwater currents. Although much of the surface is sandy desert, the actual elevation of the terrain is variable because of the changes happening above and below ground. One feature is the great potholes all around. They are like caves with gaps in the very top. Often, they have lakes in them (farther down than most people can see). A possible addition to this is that many plants grow here. In particular, this is the source of lumber- like material. Cells grow out of fertile pools. Some organism grows adhock lattices in the simplest directions. This is developed to help the thing by keeping the enclosure open. These start thin, networking around the caverns. When the collective organisms detect a straight line across the cavern, they grow thicker.

Part of the shared sort of philosophy is that everything is temporary. It is shown in their short lives, as well as in the frequency of dramatic changes. There are no particularly long-term settlements, as the conditions destroy them or make them less hospitable. The dimorphism of genders on Barren may be more dramatic, since variation is more important. Firstborn males might be very male, and fifthborn females may be very female. “There are things you will never know if you stay here.” One distinct difference in Homeworlders on Barren was that they showed signs that they did not know how to take care of themselves in this environment. A prominent feature was that they didn‟t tend to protect their faces from the wind and sun, giving them that leathery look. Homeworlders on Barren might even be lazy. “I don‟t have to do this.” They would probably be bad at making advantageous choices, though. Ones born on Barren or their parents wouldn‟t really know much about that. “The Barren people really take a good attitude. They adapt very quickly, and the various cultures are all quite successful in their niche without being too set in their ways to survive.” I think that another pattern of people of the future (or maybe just the mentally adept ones) will be able to invent things quicker, moving on from old concepts to their own or new news. Barreners might often have those volatile sort of competitions but treat them like rivalries rather than hostilities. In a way, Barren the planet has a colossal failure because it‟s open- mindedness allows the Homeworlders to blend it al together. Although the world goes into a sort of nasty era, it ends when the collective open- mindedness is too small to accept Homeworld. They kind of go back to older, liberal ways but is in a conservative way. On Barren, he learns the idea of individuals being central. Determining that, he takes a very fancy jacket that a Homeworld general wore and wears it (like a sgt peppers thing). There is a number of very sneaky monsters on Barren. This spurred the adaptations in humans that allowed them to survive dangerous encounters independent of technology. Sometimes, I can see that shows and movies were filmed in a slow speed. To people who think and act faster, such as Barreners, many things ma y appear choppy. "Since there isn't any government, if these bandits claim this place that makes it their own." Conversation over what defines property Should really capture the culture's outlook Because of the huge variations on Barren, eye colors could have dramatic variations. Eyes where each is a different color can be more common than it is here, and eyes that are mainly one color but speckled with another can also be common. Ulyphia should have the ladder, with mainly hazel and then some other color. Hippie-like character they take. Speaks in ways that sound deep. Spent a lot of time on Barren. Remember the quality of Barrener people to be slow to be slow to second-guess selves (but still very open- minded to differences and change) In deserts such as Barren, some people should be shown living in rock- hewn

structures carved into ground level. Ulyphia is conscious that her world will eventually end. They encounter scientists trying to create a space vessel, despite the fact that they have such primitive technology. They have gathered indormation from various sources on spacecraft, such as people who have sighted them or been on them or stole from them. The project is sort of a huge undertaking unprecedented in their worlds history, and it is very significant in that it‟s a sort of ultimate and lofty goal that may actually be impossible. They end up making a lot of discoveries anyway. “We theorize that beyond our world is emptiness. We know that the air grows thinner with altitude, and from this and the fact that the air of your world is different we have gathered that there are limited quantities of air and they are only around worlds.” Think about how the cultures of Barren would develop considering that life is unstable and expectancy is so short. (remember also that a big reason is because of the changing climate.) Consider how individual life is valued highly. Ulyphia‟s brother did a lot of unusual things. In his time on Barren, he could have traveled the world, climbing mountains and visiting all sorts of people and learning and things. Probably did a variety of drugs. While the protagonists spend the months wandering Barren, they accumulate a party of people they met who are ready to leave everything and embark into space. Some stay in the civilization that they went to, and they end up preserving their species and culture long after it is assimilated. Ulyphia has all sorts of passions and desires, which she cannot have while under her mother. Ludin probably wouldn‟t want for Barreners to go to his world, mostly for the protection of his people. When getting the feeling for when Ludin and other Homeworlders wander Barren for the first time, consider the song “A Horse With No Name”. Criminals wandering Barren, who simply are shown doing normal sorts of things but who have and occasionally continue to do violent criminal acts. Maybe they are of a wandering culture that does criminal things to support itself. They both have independence for the very first time. Introduce many concepts that are new. Even very simple things now, like an individual having possession/rights over own body, would be very new and revolutionary to some of them. They do a few circles around the planets in their ship before they leave. They meet a large variety of people in the migrating society. Perhaps the governments on Barren are mostly organized similar to how Native American governments were; with similar tribes together in larger nations. The names should be like those of the ancient Middle East. Babylonia and the Hittites. The principal two traits that can be used to describe Barreners are intrepid (but not totally fearless) and open- minded In some region(s) on Barren, the people look much like Homeworlders. Some Barreners could have green hair from some influence from copper in their system. “I‟m starting to understand something I never did before. What are we? What do

we come from?”

Shortly before they leave, when they are waiting near the vessel, they run into someone who is going with them: “This is a wonderful place. Some people say its much more reasonable to just use a simulation, but I prefer the real thing.” “What are you talking about?” This person has been on the planet a while. Even though there are many reasons not to be there, this person really loves the place. They bide their time by wandering the world. They have experiences. A number of friends leave them and they gain new ones as well. While there, the two resolve to leave. When they leave their homes or shortly after, they abandon many pre-conceived ideals and notions to learn about the worlds outside. Eventually, they and the owner of the ship meet up and leave. They and a number of friends voyage to the much more advanced civilization. Ludin is leaving Illimis (and he is aware it may turn out to be fore ver. Perhaps he writes one final letter) They bring few possessions at all. They all anticipate a variety of things, and going there means many things to them. They also have a variety of emotions and conflicts. (Now, they either take years to go there at light speed (which feels like barely any time to them), or they get there instantly/very quickly) When they arrive in this civilization, they get their first glimpse of a really sophisticated society. They really don‟t have much of anything. They bring some clothes and portable possessions. Future societies will probably turn out to be very distinctive, meaning there won't be a "normal" one. Here, the problem is that they have an attitude that can be described as "retired". A brief self-description might be "We've done a lot, it's very hard to advance more, why don't we just all enjoy ourselves since we're at a point where we can all do that without losing anything?" Life expectancy is infinite. The attitude is fairly hedonistic, although that is not the most noticeable feature. The civilization has satisfied all of it's own needs, and now pursuits change to the sorts of things that people could never do because necessity replaced the ability things. There is a lot of participation in the unreal, such as simulations. Many people engage in significant things on whimsy, such as creating artificial life forms. They are very lazy, but this is not a problem for them since everything can be taken care of by machines, smart animals, and other creations. There is little enthusiasm to interfere with anything far away from their place, because they know there is are people all over and so individual efforts aren't so important. They are at a point where they can enjoy themselves, so they do. It would appear stagnant, but there is a lot of mental growth at the time. The problem is that there is so little happening that there is nothing new to say and too little change. The way of thinking has become limited. Everybody seems to be going in one direction, despite the totally free environment. If it weren't for the fact that most people are hundreds of years old and remember what how different and hard things used to be, the society would be changing quickly along with each generation. There are some similarities between their behavior and the behavior of the aristocrats. One debate is over the point of what they are doing. Some think there is no point

to doing much of anything now, and they wonder if this can be the ultimate point of everything or that the ultimate point will be about the same. They are not in an all-powerful position. They simply are at a point in which they are enjoying themselves, which they have been in for about [300] years. Technology is advancing, but at a much slower rate than it could. There are a number of people who desire to make discoveries and create things, but there is just too little motivation or need. Many people think it's too hard to do more, since it's so complex and requires learning a lot. Could be seen as a utopia, but it's seen by the characters as an empty place. The captain left many friends and family members behind when he left, over a hundred years ago. Because of the nature of the society, he may have several loves simultaneously. “Opening relations with less developed worlds makes it possible for some of our people to exploit them. Also, the dramatic changes may be too much for the stability of it. It or we could destroy it.” “How can we trust ourselves to be parents to a younger civilization?” (Another reason why high civs might keep a low- interference policy on less developed civilizations.) Ludin didn‟t know what life was reduced to. “That‟s what we all look like inside.”, and “That‟s what we all come from.” Unaware of these things because of his environment while growing up. Ulyphia, oppositely, doesn‟t think much of it. Advanced people might see that giving technology to less advanced people because they are acknowledged as less wise and potentially dangerous to them (such as when a country in an undeveloped stage gets nuclear weapons.) In an advanced society, perhaps the first one they visit, where people have unlimited natural lifespans, it could be said that "Those who have not learned, often the young ones, adopt the simplified and apocryphal explanations." The people of the first advanced society they visit have a lazy quality. They are very patient, and they tend to do things slowly. Competition is low. Perhaps things such as competition and jealousy are important for the race as a whole, and not just a fluke of natural selection. They have plenty of reasons to be casual about their interactions with newly discovered civilizations. The most pertinent thing is that any ones they haven't found are unlikely to have anything to do with them. “Why not fantasize? What‟s real is a constant issue anyway. What consequences are there anymore if I spend my time away from reality? I wouldn‟t expect you to agree, since you‟ve learned to behave in such a survivalist way.” “How would you feel if you learned that the world was already an illusion?” Liffa‟s brother enjoys himself a lot there. He humors “I‟ve fallen in love with a much older women.” “Maybe you need a gradual easing into this. Perhaps if you look at places that are similar to your own, and gradually see stranger ones, you will broaden gradually.” They meet at least one person who made herself artificially identical to a Barrener. The people of an advanced society might have similarities to children. They might be permanently impressionable, since they are so changeable. Their behavior (and the

fact that they can live forever) make them like perpetual children. In advanced society, there are few or no reservations. They don‟t hold back. -People here appeared to lack standards of decency. It showed in their ac tions and words. There isn‟t need to, and in fact it helps not to be because few expect it. Person in advanced society decides to enter fantasy thing while standing in middle of path. “Someone pick her up.” Fantasy/para-reality is just so common. The advanced civilization would be a “type II” on the Kardachev scale. They have a network of satellites surrounding the sun of the planet they visit as well as more machines immediately around and within the sun. Maybe nobody needs sleep in the advanced civilization. The approach to relationships in the advanced society is that one can separate from someone else even with immense affection. Since everybody lives indefinitely, it naturally worked out that they would end up with multiple running relationships. An individual has a wide social circle. It‟s normal for people to not talk to each other for along, time, because there are simply so many people to know. People are much more relaxed. Mistrust is rare and social dynamics are much kinder and allow for all types. In advanced society, maybe they have it worked out so they can trust each other but they don‟t trust the new people from primitive societies. “You trust each other but not us?” The sort of weapons they might have from their advanced society friends might be railguns, or something else that has immense energy stored in the weapon already (such as by an advanced battery) and propelling its projectile. This seems like the next step up from weapons in which the propellant is held in the projectile. The advanced civilization they visit could be called the 21 st Incarnation”, as many more earlier civilizations in their “indecisive” state had come before them. They should meet at least one guy in this civilization who lived through thousands of years and saw many civs come and go but never went along with any of them. One of the youths from the advanced society who comes on the trip with them is not allowed to do much after a while because they have decided he is unable to think critically enough. Because people of advanced times will be practically free to do anything, why not make a sibling couple somewhere? Any genetic problems in offspring would be artificially repairable. The government of the advanced civilization might be something loosely based on something like communism to begin with, but is develops into whatever system it is that actually give complete freedom. They see a person simply suddenly break down and scream while in the advanced society. “Something looks like it‟s terribly wrong for that person!” “Don‟t be bothered by it. It‟s existential anguish. It happens all the time. ” "If everyone was beautiful, no one would be." In the advanced civilization, there are debaters, competitors, and those who ignore it. The people of the first advanced society they visit have a lazy quality. They are very patient, and they tend to do things slowly. Competition is low. Perhaps things such as competition and jealousy are important for the race as a whole, and not just a fluke of natural selection.

“By accepting this…” When they go to their first high-tech civilization, they would probably have the chance not just to join, but to improve themselves physically. They turn down both for their implications and consequences. The people are called bad things, like lazy or gullible, but they are accustomed to their situation. They aren‟t pressed to do anything and do what they do for their own reasons. They tend to be too patient. At times when schedules are important, they don‟t always pick up on it. The idea of time is understood perfectly but not practiced much. A large number are bored, but uninterested in endangering themselves. “Here is some burning ice. There‟s nothing important about it, but I thought you might be interested.” “There is no place for some personality types now. Most of us are artists and thinkers. All other sorts have a hard time fitting in or even finding anything to do.” The things Ludin is looking for are absent. He cannot find ultimate resolution here. Ulyphia was looking for a better life, but now she sees an opportunity for any life she wants. If she really wanted to, she could probably go and make major changes to Barren. Since a huge amount of time has passed, they can be sure the people they knew have died or changed a lot by now. This along with the fact that they can travel instantly means they can see what else there is. Essentially, this is what they set out to do.

Although they aren‟t at this point yet, the characters are not led to think that black is white, it‟s all transparent. It could be taken as them going to the wrong conclusions, or it can be taken as them finding the truth. In one critical event, they can be lead to make a major choice based on how they percieve the world.

Is this just a story about good winning over evil? Unplaced details

On homeworld, snipers might be used usually in a role to minimize their own casualties, (He drew him out in clear and easy shot. I had no choice.) but they are also the ones usually next in line for the assassination type that involve more than rageing.

Something found while writing a story which should be resolved: Why can‟t they just go for help? Did they decide at the beginning to do things on their own? Do their to have anything to do with it? Are they trapped when thieves overtake their ship? Are they an indepe

designation when they left? Did they cut ties from their civilization when they left? Did they go to a there a limit to how far they can blink? (If so, it could be made so that the energy needed to travel a d travel that distance at light speed.) Maybe it can only blink to someplace physically similar enough, a ahead of time, which takes longer depending on how different the place is. I might need to make a plot device, which sounds bad but perhaps necessary. Without crafting an artificial d deliberately test themselves and do these things as experiments or something else (like the captain wants the some reason. Another possibility is that the people in the home civ have a strict policy not to help everybody sometimes be to benefit others.) The ship is very loose, so the choices and positions of characters can act as t of distance and interest. Maybe they think doing stuff there wouldn‟t work out.)

Remember the captain is supposed to be somewhat temporary. He should be removed after about two years o common accordance that Ludin is the right one to follow (or he and Ulyphia) or some other events lead to th know enough details.

Instant teleport technology sounds like it would be very hard and advanced, supposedly because it probably d The attitude of many of the advanced societies may be that they are just playing with things; sort of l The device might be relatively new, as well as being extremely complex and barely developed.

Maybe as a plot thing, the computer which they have controlling the ship, which they leave everything to, ha over them. Instead, they could have a superior back in their civilization who usually tells them to solve things on area could be given entirely over to their judgment.

Their principals, the things they learned, conflict and become confused in the first stage. As they go on, they and less.

It would be funny if, during the time of rebellions, some drugs from Barren were imported and counter-cultu While exploring Barren, maybe they visit a group of ex-Homeworlders in some sort of small cult- like mountains. What is the relationship between them and the captain? To Ludin “You don‟t accept anybody, yet you have friends.”

Scarves give a different look to uniforms. Maybe the soldiers on Homeworld should get them, just for a disti there, since the world is mostly overcast and no landmass is far from water). In the early stage, the question of the worth of the pursuit of knowledge comes up.

Perhaps to stop them from making dramatic decisions about changing themselves, the supervisor makes it so because he doesn‟t feel they are knowledgeable and wise enough for those things.

The beginning of their second era, when they enter their first society, could have such a plot as this: They ha perhaps like immigrants who think they are going to the country where everything will be better, yet they fac different facts that they learn to what they knew change everything for them. Also, they find it impossible to

The one time Ludin is alone on his home world, it is a very different experience for him, and it is something The captain might let go of them when he sees they just aren‟t people to be controlled.

At the point where they are empowered, they are matured enough to know what to do with it and not to desir Because of their captain‟s interest, they don‟t go very far from their starting point.

On Homeworld, another defense for the ruler might be to structure the government in a complex way so mos charge. The awareness of the power structure grows with those individuals in power.

They might think of several societies, perhaps including their own, that they can't share their discoveries bec ways and have disastrous effects. For example, it may be though that Barren has evolved very well to adapt t

Ludin and the other protagonists might be thought of as heroes when their role in the breakdown of known c really just people that came along at the right time; the blame is in the trust the principal put into them.

There is already something in people that makes it hard to lie, so it could be that in Homeworlders they are b The advanced society would be a place of wonder.

The criminal they stay with should have a carefully built secret place, perhaps put together from connections One of the Homeworld's police should be a fighter because he is afraid

"It's like we were ants, kept under the ground and happy to be there. The clouds were the surface, and we ma

Somebody make a painting or some image where there is a man representing the Aristocracy putting a comm Barren, because it is uncomfortable and there is no way to escape.

Almost all of the Homeworlders on Barren are men, which actually helps the strategy of combining Homew produce offspring faster than women.

The Barrener invasion, although it helped change the world, ended up backfiring because the government us convince them again that they need the government as it was for their protection.

The women have shorter tails than men. Men have a higher center of gravity, so there is more weight to their

Earlier on, Ludin wouldn‟t be described as easy going. Included in this is that, although he is aware of differ people can still be on his side, his first instinct isn‟t to be open- minded about it (in these cases, Ulyphia is es Perhaps it would be a part of the supervisor/captain‟s character to sell the resources he gained from his time make his ship capable of instant travel.

Perhaps when the protagonists leave on their first ship, it‟s actually only capable of light-speed travel, and th light- years away. Because they are going at light speed, time slows down for them. The supervisor who origi

wanted to abandon his life and everything anyway. They may return to their home region hundreds or a thou just be a few years at most. “It is said that any family with any minds at all are part of the aristocracy at some point.”

Homeworlders generally are not considered emotional people. It could be said so because their lives are mad

We are capable of doing anything we want. You‟ll see that pointless rules have a place. | If you can do anyth over Barren? | They are actually more restrained and less capable than they seem.

When his uncle kills a soldier under him who is probing too much, it‟s to protect Ludin. There are alternativ quick fix.

Make the names on Homeworld carefully structured, such as the “UL” part meaning something like “Foreign between “Ludin” and “Ulyphia” (making it so that Ulyphia was born after her mother started converting to th aggressive sort of history.

Ludin lived a sort of life that might produce a very violent, mean person. What stops him from this? Maybe freedom when it became available (at the school) was something selfless. A few times in the second period, kind of nihilist. What is the good thing about the story? What are the meanings of it? Is it more than just events happe Way he met Illimis. Perhaps she knew him in school, then when he left the army he knew where to find her. “Maybe if we made you a general.”

What was the philosophy of the man who founded the Homeworld civilization? Maybe it is something that L long time.

It‟s a moderately cloudy desert. It‟s a desert because the weather can be so extreme at times that life is sparse

Remember that the characters have to be complex. Officer Ketsa believes in the preservation of civiliza tion a allow and deviants from the norm to live. Make it that he himself was different in youth, and had experience became like he is around [early 20s] so he actually would kill a person who could potentially be just like him distanced when he saw his kids changing a little. He became afraid of their change, and that they would chan problem. Maybe one or several of his mature children join the rebellion after his death. Illimis gives herself t encouragement was Ludin. She loved him for many reasons, and she waited for returned feelings for a long t even, thinking he would return (The final time they talked he said he was leaving to visit a better place and w is afraid of changes that might happen. She would like it if the world looked the same, but just worked differ new technology change the world, or even to destroy the aristocrats. She just wants things fairer. She doesn‟ ambition to make things fairer by her standards. At times she see ms passive, (something seen as attractive in plans and makes things work. Her actual character is deceptively different from how she seems. She starts as necessity she evolves. Consider their taste in music.

Homeworld is under cultural protection. Protection also acts to keep tabs on them. They get respect for their caution.

It might be that the soldiers who are sent to Barren are reputed not to retur n usually. If they quit, they are usu assimilation. They get full rights after a prominent person meant to decide their treatment spends enough time with them. what he needs to hear and then convince him to let them go. They depend on his sympathy.

Aristocrat child who misunderstands things and is so adventurous that he accidentally sees the unfortunate tr early on, but unlike the either protagonist his point of beginning and experiences and things learned iver time

The main reason they leave is because that society just isn‟t good enough. They aren‟t satisfied. They leave t and ways are like that of a double spy, keeping out of the center and not loyal to any faction.

After they go to the nearby society, they are allowed to just keep the ship. It was a basic one designed for eas sold to the Homeworld government, and now it‟s officially stolen. The ship was technically stolen by the sup refugees. They are allowed to keep the ship because they sympathize with the protagonists and the judgment intolerable to them, so stealing a ship was okay, especially since it was put to the purpose of helping refugee

Dangerous plants and animals is a new thing to Ludin. It is more awkward since he has always been quite ge

There is a scholar monk who has eviated from the common agreement which says that they are all decended settlers). Some evidence has pointed that they resemble Homeworlders more than BArreners. This one has ta were Homeworlders. He is a consort of the Homeworld occupation. He is grateful for her help, and he feels like he‟s saving her from a bad life.

Their leaving for a greater civilization is a rare and extremely luck y opportunity. The supervisor of the ship s benevolence. They feel boredom with their place. One reason they stay on Barren for a while is that Ludin feels so thrilled to see the new world and to be free have the life she couldn‟t live before.

When he is in conversation with his new friends, Ludin would like to accept the simple explanations of comm people, but his curiosity and the confusing contradictions interest him.

In the future, humans will probably be able to influence the entire universe. [In the story, the dumbed down p they know is the entire universe. Imagine the pride of when they see how their own hands shape the entire un come from outside the universe or a separate one, as in hell.] What if some other life forms have done some experiment which is sending a sphere of destruction out at the speed of light. We wouldn‟t see it until it arriv

After leaving home and going for Barren, monks or a monk teach him to lose pre- made perceptions. He learn and organize thoughts objectively. The monks/scho lars have been the most constant people on the planet bec

huge differences and instability.

On Barren, it is typical of the subspecies to have short relationships. It is acknowledged that love is rarely pe though, and occasionally people re-marry. The relationship between Ludin and F grows steadily over a long in the relationship when she has feelings of love for him, but he doesn‟t notice or doesn‟t even have it on his leave home, she expects some sort of romance, but he basically never felt want for a relationship until a long feels like this again, but he doesn‟t notice. At some point he begins to love her. Perhaps this part plays out th and they are talking and her unreturned feelings come through. At this moment, he sees that this woman is th love and lust for the first time.

After leaving, more is seen and revealed and they learn about deep things. It‟s similar to a picture of many si bigger picture as you look farther away, but the picture continues to turn into more. She learns some things about fighting when she learns about defense for her trips to Homeworld. In Ludin‟s nation, the government controls everything. One aspect is that there are no brand name products. interchangeable among items. This saves on waste and production. A famous bandit who somehow stays uncaught.

Ludin comes from a planet that has ties to greater powers, like a mostly isolated country such as 19 th century was isolationist but they were had interests with other nations. In the main character‟s same vicinity of space technological society. Despite their size and grandeur and scale of accomplishment, they have not ye t tested in the greater vicinity wanders Gilthoniel, who is just one person that exists with practically no limitations of uncertainty, and without any permanent state.

Principal: “There have been 34 globally-threatenting disasters since we took power. Any of these might have to take care of it.”

Ludin believes in being a good person, but he starts having problems with authority and really starts thinking he also starts acting pretty mature. F is different from her peers while she is young, but she accepts her paren but she also acts less mature and stops pursuing knowledge. Her mother is the matriarch of her family, and s

“We have learned how to live much longer by controlling our bodies through our consciousnesses. We have years to do this. We value ourselves highly, and we can keep ourselves and our knowledge alive during extra Barren are bastions of knowledge, and this includes things beside what we are aware of in regular science. U techniques when she is younger, but this ends when her mother increases her control over her. Later, they sp while wandering. It is a part of their experiences. Ludin gets some control over his neurotic ism here. Should the Homeworlders smoke with pipe or paper? The drug commonly given slightly numbs the emotions and sensations. While Ulyphia is being taught, a lot of conflict happens between her mother and her instructor. Her educatio also conflict.

In some instance while he is in the army, he is one of practically no dissidents in some event. Units are inten

groups, because groups influence individuals strongly. One outstanding time he objects to group, and major She's unaffected by groups.

The evolution of Barreners can be summed up by saying that they would be forced to change a lot anyway, s “Few of us could be said to be a warrior race. In fact, it‟s very casual and taken lightly.”

They have lab-grown meat on the advanced world (and many others). Few people actually desire real meat t Homeworlders tend to think egocentrically, like children. Capture that. Ludin talking with Ulyphia. “Animals don‟t seem really different from us.” “Humans are animals.” “What do you mean?” “They are all different creatures, but still essentially the same. They are that similar.” “No, that can‟t be right.”

At least one Barrener learned to dislike enclosed spaces during time in Homeworld underground. This is a p into space.

The plot in the story of their beginning might seem to fall in to the typical “unstoppable hero” thing. Howeve Ludin got by with a little help from his friends. He was set on his course by his new friends, and they helped In reality, events are set by what precedes them. The things that happen should be t he course these two world catalysts for the characters. There should be underground settlements on Barren.

At least one Barrener should be a disgruntled civil servant, who is unhappy with the world he‟s in while also

Singing. Instruments are very rare on Homeworld. Songs used often in a ritualistic fashion. Religious servic they re combined into everything. At one point during the revolution, the beginning notes to one song are bro confused people just start singing along to it.

Ludin first sees the stars when he is brought out of the city during his military service. They are explained as detritus. (Most think the world is flat out of ignorance. Ludin knows that there is at least one other world, and another speck among all of the others.) He isn‟t sure if the universe revolves around his world, and he puts a few days after seeing them, he takes a telescope and looks at them. It doesn‟t reveal much, but entices his cu yellowish, which turns out to be Barren. He eventually sees that both Barren and Homeworld are planets, and unsettling feeling of smallness comes to him. Before he goes out there, he has to have it explained that it‟s b Ludin eventually comes to the subject of religion with his friends. They don‟t describe themselves as religio unique. He observes that their own mythology and that on his world don‟t coincide. The classmates are very rejecting.

“You seem to seek out people of status.” Ludin interacts with people above his class so much. She is drawn by an intolerance and dull outlook for regular life, and she has seen how vulnerable everybody their current lives. Ludin has a rejection of everything he‟s learned do far, and Ulyphya is drawn to the superior life she can ha everything He learns a lot about the inexplicable cruelty of his civilization.

The contrast between the way the subspecies age brings up some things. Old Homeworleders are generally q away. Barreners live a shorter time, but they live fully. Which would they rather choose? Which is better?

Because the people are worked hard until the day they die without any objections, the members of the aristoc Maybe the actual intention of the aristocracy is to breed their people into a sort of submissively communal su what they are doing, as simply the caretakers of a new race. Their reasons for sticking to the lifestyle are not because they are accustomed to the fantastic lifestyle.

The reason Ludin‟s people aren‟t in control of F‟s planet is because it is not a feasible idea. The geography a dictatorship very difficult. Instead they do business and trade with them. They assert ownership of some sma rich and remote sites kept for storage and experiments. Perhaps thy keep prisoners and other people deemed Maybe some elderly that are not still useful enough are sent as labor. When they meet the advanced civ, it is similar to meeting aliens and the expectations are similar.

Maybe Ludin is raised by his uncle. His parents were killed along with his grandfather as enemies of the stat has no children of his own.

A person goes on a quest for solace, or something to settle his dissatisfaction. He asks questions of justice an

The people of Homeworld tend to have excellent timing. It‟s a habit from all the tight schedules. Ludin has t His sense of time is very steady on top of that. Black leather vests for officers, maybe with cloth sleeves. Property is not private or public, but rather belongs to god. Language is closely tied with law and the system in the Homeworld society. It can be so in others as well.

Barreners, despite strong genes, often get sick because the Homeworlders carry so many things from unsanit

Because of the flexible physical changes, women are less likely to be controlled on Barren. They can change situations, so if they are mistreated and upset and angry, they are eventually will respond reactively. Another reason the world is so slow to advance is the natural instability and disasters. Areas of Earth have advanced slower.

On Barren, they have to run from some people for a while. It‟s ina mostly flat part of the desert, do they see are against them. It‟s found that Barreners are better as sprinters; Ludin and other Homeworlders get farther kept at gunpoint while others go to catch the Homeworlders. It was already won, however. They were caugh and Ludin and others make use of their distance to pick those guys off. Actually, why don‟t they pick them o vast sands?

Sexual relationships commonly hardly controlled. Often who the parents are doesn‟t matter much, and there Maybe the literal name for Homeworld is Houg. “Don‟t you know that it‟s always night on one side of the world and day on the other?”

There are multiple vessels owned by the Homeworld government, but they are really only owned under cont The uniforms of the main labor force on Homeworld, the Army, are pale grayish-khaki.

Instead of some weak and complicated explanation for why they advance so slowly on Homeworld, maybe s in them would be better, such as them simply being uninterested due to liking the way things are. Homeworld is about at ta level that lets them keep control of people easily, and not much farther. Maybe his grandfather tried to be a noble, or failed to last as one.

They eventually leave the planet with the captain, on the same ship they were on before. Most of the original people come with, although some stay and a very small few return. Here they “act like young people”. They are smart but just maturing. At some pint, Ludin feels like he doesn‟t have friend of the advanced type or the unadvanced type because he isn‟t seen as being with either. The advanced people actually like everyone (basically), but he doesn‟t feel like he fits with them and therefore that the aren‟t exactly friends. They would like to see the universe at their leisure, but the captain prevents that. Their enabler is not a full enabler, and acts as a disabler. Perhaps their spirit in the first stage should be like the first star trek. They‟re so eager to discover things. Their first ship could be called the Impetus. When they first get into space, they keep very close to what they have learned, and conserve their ways. They then unlearn and then relearn everything. “What does it mean when the engine does that?” “It means it‟s created a small accidental physics disturbance. Nothing to worry about.” I was thinking that they have too safe and overbearing a structure to allow them to

do much. It limits the story. Maybe they should leave the ship in the middle of their early stage.

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