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The Shabbat Seder


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									                            A Host's Planning Guide to Friday Night Dinner
                                      For A Day Apart: Shabbat at Home
                                    by Noam Zion and Shawn Fields-Meyer
                              Arranged by Rabbi Dov Gartenberg and Noam Zion
                                  Panim Hadashot, rabbidov@panimhadashot.com
                                      and Noam Zion www.haggadahsrus.com

         Shabbat is an opportunity for meaning, a moment to forge connections and to belong. Lawrence Hoffman

         The seventh day is a palace in time which we build. It is made of soul and of joy. Abraham Joshua Heschel

         If Judaism is to have a renaissance, it will have to be celebrated vibrantly in the home. Home-made Judaism,
         customized to your needs and your guests, can transform your table into a place of sacred celebration and
         shared conversation.                      Noam Zion

With this Shabbat planner brochure you may design you own lively celebration of Shabbat dinner using the beauty and
variety, in form and content, from A Day Apart's blessings, quotes, activities, art and explanations.

Repertoire of Shabbat Table Activities and Blessings

Table of contents of Shabbat table activities is the first column on the left cites the main chapters in the book which
divide the Sabbath ritual meal into its basic units.
The colored columns suggest readings and activities designed for specific age groups and gatherings.
The host's guide makes it easier to pick and choose a few additions or expansions to your basic Shabbat ritual whatever
it may be and to maximize participation of all ages. From time to time on Shabbat you may experiment with something
new. Each Shabbat dinner has its well-known core rituals as done in your home and yet an opportunity for an innovative

REPERTOIRE          For Pre-             For Families       For Teenagers        For Couples          For Adults          For Beginners
of Shabbat          Schoolers            with School-                            by themselves
Dinner                                   Age Children
Introductions                            Enhancing Home-    Breathers 8          Time to Connect 7    Enhancing Home      Spiritual Timing 9
for the leader to                        Made Judaism 7                                               Made Judaism 7
browse 4-7
Setting the         Bo’i Kallah          Pleasurable        Bo’i Kallah 18       Recipe for           The Original        Blessing over
Shabbat Mood        (snack before        Preparations 13    (traditional snack   Liberation 17        Baker’s Gift 16     Hallah 16.
13-18               dinner) 18           Extra Effort 14    before dinner)       Beware! A Time of    Baking Hallah 16    Meditations 16
                    Play background      Polishing Silver                        Marital Conflict
                    music for Shabbat    (photo) 14                              18.
Tzedakah 19         Teaching our         Hillel 19          Read Magic           A Mystical           The True Believer
                    children 19          Story of           Money 20.            Warning 18           20
                    Tzedakah Block       Fundraising 20.
                    Box (photo) 21
* Candle            Through a Child’s    A Shabbat Box 30   A Lonely Shabbat     Meditations:         A Perfect Rest 22   How Many
Lighting 25         Eyes 31                                 32                   Kavanah 22           From Birth and      Candles 31
Personal prayers                                                                                      Beyond Death 31
Shalom              Parent-Child         Tales of           A Person Reaches     The Messenger 43     More Angelic        Guidelines-
Aleichem-           Corner 41            Peacemakers 45     36                   Hassidic Kugel 45    Inspectors 42       Getting Started 40
Welcoming Guests                                            Prayer for
& Angels 37                                                 Shalom 43
Blessing Our        Blessings for Good   ‘Secret            Blessing: May You    Believe in Love 46   For the Child       Renew

Children 47         News and New       communication’      Be Yourself 54                              without a Parent      Connections 49
Prayer for          Objects 47         in Parent-Child                                                 53                    Getting Started 50
Healing 49                             Corner 51
Eishet Hayil        Happy Mother's     A Family Prayer     Remarkable            Blessing One’s        Controversial         Getting Started 64
61-63               Day 65             59                  Woman 65              Beloved 59            Faces of Eishet
Song of Songs                                              Golda on Beauty       Song of Songs 59      Hayil 64
59                                                         65                    Sanskrit poem 60      Govenor's Woman
                                                                                                       of Valor 66
* Kiddush over      Parent-Child       Why Cover the       The Week in                                 To Be Fully Free      Guidelines 72-3
wine 69 - 71        corner 76          Hallah 74           Review 77                                   78
                    Photo of Israeli   Don't cry over
                    Kindergarten 68    spilt wine 76
* Hallah and        Surprise Under     Grandfather         Overwrought           Open Channels 88      Introduction to       Guidelines 83-84
Hand washing        Hallah Cover 85    Feeding Cats 90     Parents 85                                  Handwashing 82
81                  Hot Dogs and       Shabbat             Blessed be these                            or A Pitcher 86
                    Jello 85           Electricity 85      Hands 86
                                       Shabbes Dog 84                                                  Honor Family
                                       Bread tales 91-92                                               Recipe 82
                                       Peanut cartoon 82
Activities during   Parent-Child       Shabbat Table       MORE Shabbat          Getting to know       Dvar Torah or         Getting Started 96
Dinner:             corner 95          Talk 95-97,         Table Talk 138-       one another           Shabbat Sharing       A Noisy Torah
D’var Torah 95                                             139                   138-139               139                   Argument 97
Shabbat Table                                              A Noisy Torah
Talk 95-97, 138-                                           Argument 97
Zemirot:            Parent-Child:      Short songs         Short songs           Reflections: "Song    Traditional Song:     Getting Started
Shabbat Table       ‘Repetition’ 111   108-109 (most       108-109 (most         of the Self and the   Menukha               110
Singing 98-113                         are camp songs)     are camp songs)       Soul 112 -113         v’simkhah
* Birkat                               Parent child 130    Tales of gratitude:   Judaism               Tales of gratitude:   Getting Started
Hamazon:                                                   A Muffin 132          encourages 115        Stealing a Meal       130
Gratitude -                                                Break a leg 133                             132
Short 120-121
Long 119-128
Post Dinner                            Pick Your Oneg                            Couple’s Prayer       Holy R&R Menu         Pleasures of
Pleasures: Oneg                        Pleasure Card 137                         and Making Peace      135                   Shabbat 136
Shabbat 134-141                                                                  before Love 140

Rules of Thumb for Successful Shabbat Dinner:

     Plan a menu with a few special treats specially requested in advance.
     Invite your guests and your household members personally and in advance to make this special Shabbat dinner
      Weave in your family traditions so you can personalize the Shabbat.
     There is no perfect way to lead such Shabbat dinner. Many aspects are options added over the centuries – not
      required prayers (for example, Shalom Aleichem or Blessing the children). Do what gives your home meaning.
     The bare basics (marked in grid by an asterick *) are merely candle lighting, Kiddush, hallah and a blessing
      of thanks after eating.
     Use English where Hebrew becomes difficult.
     Build a small library of cds and audio files of Sabbath table music to build traditions of table song or mood music.
     Try something new or at least offer a new reading, but never try to add too much on any one night.
     Delegate readings or activities or blessings to any willing participant, but do not force active participation on
      anyone. Let it come gradually when it is ripe. Play to your guests strengths and be open to their own ideas.
     Experiment with a suggested conversation topic or an Oneg Shabbat special pleasure, not just blessings or
     Let household members and guests know in advance that you will be adding something, that you would be happy of
      they participate actively but there will be no coercion and it will not take too long. Keep a light sense of humor
      about this experiment and assure them this is a trial run, not necessarily a weekly obligation.


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