Silent_Dating__The_Zen_Path_to_Love

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					Silent Dating: The Zen Path to Love

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858

Summary:
The most innovative dating idea you'll ever read about: The silent date!
If you're tired of the same old "dinner and a movie" and want to have a
truly memorable dating experience, try this -- if you dare!


Keywords:
Dating, Zen, romance, love, spirituality


Article Body:
You’ve heard that song, “Silent Night, Holy Night.” Well, there is
something sacred about silence. Enlightenment comes to Zen monks in
silent meditation. With this in mind, here is an extremely bold idea for
a date. It's highly unusual, to be sure, and not many will try it.Ask
someone out on a date, but make this rule: Neither you nor your date will
speak a single word for the duration of the date. That’s right! You both
will take an oath of total silence.You will also keep all other forms of
communications to a bare minimum. That means no writing notes, few or no
hand signals, or any other form of symbolic communication.What you
actually do on your silent date is not as important as the fact that you
are dating in silence.For example, if you go out to dinner, you would not
be able to speak to the waiter when ordering food. Although you might
handle this by simply pointing to the menu items, the idea is to shape
the date around the fact that you won’t be saying anything. Choose an
activity carefully.

If you go to a movie, you won't be able to discuss it.Why this idea? Why
a silent date? What good could possibly come from it?Well, to be silent
is tremendously difficult for all of us who live in the modern world. We
live in the Age of Information. Everywhere is the constant clamor of
communication. Radios play, TVs blare, people everywhere babble into cell
phones, even when they have nothing to say. But if a person could just
stop for a time to just listen and observe, tremendous new insights can
be discovered about what it means to be alive today.Furthermore, when you
share your silence with a dating partner, you are creating a huge
opportunity to learn extremely subtle clues about who this person really
is, and what he or she is all about. Just as a blind person must enhance
his or her other senses to compensate for the lack of sight, two silent
people must double or triple their other senses for reading what the
other person is like “beneath the skin.”The silent date can produce truly
amazing insights about other people. Interacting and observing with
another person in silence is a powerful experience! Also, if you cannot
be comfortable with another person in silence, it’s a good sign you can’t
be comfortable with that person in any way.

That’s because we all use mindless chatter to cover up for how we really
feel. We all know how people blurt out anything, just to fill those
uncomfortable silent moments. When you date under an oath of silence, you
are forced to accept your date on a more subtle level. You see deeper
into their personality and psyche. In fact, it may take several silent
dates to get the full effect of this.And consider this: After your silent
date is over, you will have an iron-clad reason for a second date — you
need to get together again to share your experience, and talk about what
you observed and felt!This can be tremendously fun! For example, let’s
say your silent date involves a walk in a park. Perhaps you both stopped
to observe some wildflowers, or paused to gaze upon a water pond. After
your silent date, you can ask your date: “You know, I really wanted to
know what you were thinking when you were looking at those colorful
wildflowers?” The answer can be surprising!You see, an important aspect
of the silent date is that both people are forced to project their own
theory about what the other person is thinking during specific events and
activities. What you thought your date was contemplating, and what he or
she was really contemplating, can be dead on, or totally off base.

The silent date requires that each person pay extremely close attention
to the other as you both strive to determine meanings. This can only be a
good thing. Too often, what a person actually says does not always
reflect what he or she really means. Spoken communications are often
misinterpreted. But a silent date gives the daters deeper, more subtle
insights into each other. Ironically, silent dates actually enhance
communication in the long run. It does that by forcing the daters to
confront the process of communication from a new and more profound
level.I could go on and on about the magical wonders of the silent date,
but the real benefits can only be achieved by trying it. Yes, it takes a
lot of courage to suggest a silent date, especially in a first-time
dating situation. A lot of people will think you’re kooky. But the more
profound, open-minded and less shallow people will at least be willing to
give this bold idea a try.People who agree to a silent date are
guaranteed to be interesting people — and better yet, you may just have
the most interesting and memorable dating experience of your life. You
may even fall in love.

				
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posted:5/8/2010
language:English
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