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PARTNERING TOGETHER

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					          PARTNERING TOGETHER
                                                     (A publication of Special Health Care Needs-Family Partnership)
                                                                                                 Southern Missouri
                                                                                                       Spring 2005


                                                                     Have you        received your invitation to
                                                             our statewide Family Partnership Conference
         The Four Rules of Love                              being held in Columbia, April 15-16? If not, keep
1.   Time -     One effective way to maintain contact        an eye out!       We’re very excited about this
     with your child is to set aside 15 minutes each         conference. We anticipate having 20+ exhibitors
     day when you shed your parenting role and
     agenda, letting your child be the boss. Sit on          along with several speakers such as: Sharing our
     the floor to play with your toddler or                  Strengths, Family Voices, EFECT, Columbia Fire
     preschooler; play games or help your six- to            and Police Departments and so many more! See
     12-year-old with a school project or hobby; go
                                                             the back of this page for more information!
     with your adolescent to buy a CD.
          Just remember, your child is in charge. You                Also, I want to let you know that we hold
     either follow your child's directions or copy and       monthly Member conference calls. This is where
     describe your child's actions without making            members throughout the state come together on a
     suggestions or supervising the activity. During
     this time your child reveals his true self, feeling     toll-free call to discuss various issues, stay up-to-
     loved and accepted by you.                              date with FP activities, and give input to services
          You don't have 15 minutes for each child,          and the delivery of those services provided to
     you say? Then take less time and remember
                                                             them under the Special Health Care Needs Unit.
     the importance of focusing on the child with
     adoring looks, listening and responding to his          In the past, we’ve reviewed various websites that
     needs and interests.                                    are used as resources in a tool being created for
2.   Word Power - Be aware of the power of                   families, and also the Annual Financial Eligibility
     your words. "How you talk to your children can          Review form. We want to ensure that these
     make them your allies rather than your
                                                             remain family- friendly and are easy to read.
     adversary," says Nancy Samalin, author of
     LOVING YOUR CHILD IS NOT ENOUGH                         Thank you to the SHCN Unit for bringing families
     (Penguin). Respond similarly even when                  to the table and allowing our input!
     there's not a problem. Your child runs in the                   I hope to see you at the conference and
     door: "My team won at recess today." Don't
     say, "Uh huh," or "Go hang up your coat."
                                                             hear your voice on our calls! Happy spring!
     Instead respond with a question: "What were                                                 ~ Carla Sandwell
     you playing?" or "What was the score?" Your                                          Southern Family Partner
     question implies, "I heard what you said. I'm
     interested. I want to know more." This
     communication skill completes the cycle of the
     conversation. Interest proves love.                     Four Rules of Love (continued)
3.   Emotions -     Validate the emotion your child
     expresses, but limit his behavior. Your toddler         reasonable guidelines for behavior gives the message
     is determined to climb on the kitchen table and         that you have the interest and energy to care.
     throws a tantrum when you stop him. Your                     Hold to your "No," but include a love message
     empathetic response: "You're mad, you want to           along with it. Here's how: "I can't allow you to ride
     climb on the table, but I won't let you." By            your bike to the shopping mall; I feel it's unsafe. It's
     naming the emotion and staying with the child           only because I love you so much." Make sure you're
     when emotional, you help him absorb that out-           not capricious with "No." Ask yourself first if it's in
     of-control emotion.                                     your child's best interest.
                                                                 There are probably days when it seems all you do
4.   Love and Limits -        Realize you can express
                                                             is nag and yell, but understand everyone bounces
     love and limits at the same time. Stopping your
                                                             back easier when there's a solid base of love to rely
     child from misbehaving may cause him distress
                                                             on.
     in the short run, but in the long run setting (see
                                                                  (for more on parenting, see www.familyfun.com)
     next column)
       FP Member                                         SAVE THE DATE!
     Conference Call                                          Family Partnership
 all calls at 12:00 p.m.                                     Statewide Conference
                                                              Columbia, Missouri
              April 19th
                                                               April 15-16, 2005
               May 17th                      Meet & network with other families from across the state.
                                             Learn valuable tools & resources for your family.
               June 21st                     Meet your Family Partner.
                                             Provide input for policies, services & delivery for your family.
       Contact Carla for                     Hotel & Meals provided ~ reimbursement for childcare (up to
       Toll-free number                       $100), mileage and stipend.

              Your Family Partner:                          Check out the new exclusive listserv
                 Carla Sandwell                         for Missouri families of children with special
               1333 W. Loren, #B
                                                                 needs participating in the
             Springfield, Mo 65807
                                                                Family Partnership program
           Local: (417) 866-8212                     To subscribe, send an email to:
      Toll-Free: 866-809-2400 ext 308                       MO-FP-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
          Email: fvmo@mchsi.com

  Check out our NEW Website!
                                                                     Turkey Hunt!
 www.dhss.mo.gov/FamilyPartnership/
                                                     There will be a turkey hunt Saturday,
                                                     April 30 and Sunday, May 1st at the
    WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27, 2005                        Andy Dalton Shooting Range in Bois
    Disability Rights Legislative Day 2005
                Jefferson City
                                                     D’Arc. The hunt is sponsored by the
    March around the Capital 1:00 – 1:30             Dept. of Conservation. You must pre-
            Rally 1:30 – 3:00 p.m.                   register! Contact the Southwest
     A day to raise awareness and provide            Center for Independent Living at (417)
 information to the state Legislature on issues
     important to people with disabilities.          886-1188.

Carla Sandwell, Southern Family Partner
Miller County Health Center
Family Partnership
PO Box 2
Tuscumbia MO 65082

				
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