RUN-ONS JOKES & RIDDLES Cub #1: What monster flies his kite in a rainstorm? 1st Cub: My grandmother came to visit for her Cub #2: Benjamin Frankenstein. vacation. 2nd Cub: Did you meet her at the airport? 1st Cub: Goodness no. I've known her all my life! Cub #1: What’s the purpose of the propeller on a plane? 1st Cub: What kind of monkey flies? Cub #2: To keep the pilot cool. If you don’t think so, 2nd Cub: What? just 1st Cub: A hot-air baboon. stop it and watch him sweat! Cub #1: How many balls of string would it take to Instructor: We all know what a “good landing” is. reach the moon? Student: One that you can walk away from. Cub #2: One, if it were long enough! Instructor: Do you know what a “great landing” is? Student: One where you can use the airplane again! Cub #1: What do astronauts eat off? Cub #2: Flying saucers. Cessna: Jones Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel. Cub #1: What is an astronaut’s favorite meal? Tower: Roger, Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best Cub #2: Launch. glide! Do you have the airfield in sight? Cessna: Uh, tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want Cub #1: How do you put an astronaut to sleep? to know where the fuel truck is. Cub #2: You rock-et. Cub #1: Where does a bird goes when it loses its tail? Q: What bird is always out of breath? Cub #2: To the retail store. A: A puffin. Cub #1: What goes up when the rain comes down? Q: Why do Hummingbirds hum? Cub #2: Umbrellas. A: They've never learned the words! Cub #1: What is up in the sky but is not a cloud or a Q: What is a mosquito's favorite sport? plane or a man? A: Skin-diving. Cub #2: The sun. Q: What’s smarter than a hummingbird? 1st Cub: (pointing at the sky) is that a jet or a plane up A: A spelling bee! there? 2nd Cub: I don't know, I'm a stranger here myself. Q: Why did it take the elephant so long to get on the airplane? 1st Cub: What do you call an alien that rides first class A: Because he had to check his trunk! on an airplane? 2nd Cub A Passenger! Q: When do ducks fly upside down? A: When they “Quack Up!” Ike Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland? Cub 1: How do you get an astronaut baby to sleep? Mike He couldn't afford plane fare. Cub 2: You rocket 1st Cub: I'd like to have enough money to buy ten jet Cub 1: What is an astronaut's favorite key ona computer airplanes. keyboard? 2nd Cub: What would you do with ten jets? Cub 2: The space bar. 1st Cub: Hey, I don't want the jets, I'd just like to have the money. Cub 1: What did the astronaut see on the stove? Cub 2: An unidentified frying object! Cub 1: What do you call an astronauts watch? Cub #1: What do moon people do when they get Cub 2: A lunar-tick married? Cub #2: They go off on their honey earth. Cub 1: Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches? Cub 2: In their launch boxes. Cub #1: Why wasn't the Martian upset when he saw a bug in his soup? Cub 1: Why don't astronauts relate well to other people? Cub #2: Because it was just a fly-in-saucer. Cub 2: They are not always down-to-earth Cub #1: Why did the astronaut give his copilot a Cub #1: What does Chewbacca use for practical jokes? sandwich? Cub #2: A Wookiee cushion. Cub #2: Because it was launch time. Cub #1: What do you get when you crossR2-D2 with the Cub #1: What cleans Saturn’s rings in the bathroom? Invisible Man? Cub #2: Halley’s Comet Cub #2: R2-C-through. . Cub #1: What goes "MOOZ"? Cub #2: A spaceship flying backwards. Cub #1: Which relative visits the astronauts in space? Cub #2: Auntie Gravity! Cub #1: Why is an airport like a closet? Cub #2: It has plenty of hangars. Cub #1: How do aliens tie up spacemen? Cub #2: With astro-knots. Cub #1: Why don't astronauts answer thephone at noon? Cub #2: Because they're out to launch. Cub #1: What do they eat at outer-space picnics? Cub #2: Toasted martian-mallows. Cub #1: Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? Cub #2: He got stuck in orbit! Cub #1: Why is space a vacuum? Cub #2: To clean up all the stardust. Cub #1: What goes "swish" in outer space? Cub #2: A shooting star. Cub #1: What is the brightest fish in the universe? Cub #2: A starfish. Cub #1: Why did the astronomer stare at the dreamers? Cub #2: Because they had stars in their eyes. Cub #1: What did the Martian say when he landed in the flower bed? Cub #2: Take me to your weeder! Cub #1: What works only when it's fired? Cub #2: A rocket.