Dear SFE Partners_ by fjwuxn


									Dear SFE Partners,

Welcome to the SFE e-newsletter. The SFE e-newsletter aims to provide updated information on SFE and
other family life education programmes and happenings. We will also be sharing a short article with you in
this e-newsletter.

The highlights of the October 09 issue of the SFE e-newsletter include the Service Provider Sharing
Session and Collation of MCYS Family Life Resource Materials.

We would like to hear from you on how we can make this e-newsletter and the SFE programme better. If
you have any suggestion or feedback or wish to contribute to the e-newsletter, please contact us at

The SFE e-newsletter can also be viewed at . Do visit the SFE website on a regular basis
for updates. We hope you will enjoy reading this SFE e-newsletter.

The School Family Education (SFE) Programme is another family life education effort by Family
Education Department, MCYS.



                                     As part of our continual effort to improve the SFE programme and
                                     to develop and nurture partnerships, we are planning a series of
                                     sharing sessions with our key stakeholders, starting with the SFE
                                     service providers on 5 Nov 2009, 10.30am. As there are a number
                                     of new service providers in the last couple of years, it will also be
                                     a good platform to network and share our SFE vision. An email
                                     invitation with more details will be sent to the SFE service
                                     providers in the coming days.

Please mark 5 Nov on your calendar and join us for a fulfilling and enjoyable get-together.



We are collating requests from SFE schools for the MCYS family life education
resource materials. Please let us know the types and quantities of materials you
need for the period October 2009 to March 2010.

The quantity you can request for per publication per language is limited to 300
copies. For example, you can request for 300 copies of Essential Parenting Tips
(English) and another 300 copies of Essential Parenting Tips (Chinese).
If you would like to request for any of the materials listed, please complete the attached form and send it
to us by fax to 6354 9868 or email to by 16 October 09 .

Please click here for the request form.

The types of materials available to you for requests are as follows:

    •    SFE pamphlet - Parent Guide (E)
    •    SFE pamphlet - Parent Guide (C)
    •    SFE pamphlet - Parent Guide (M)
    •    SFE pamphlet - Parent Guide (T)
    •    Essential Parenting Tips (E)
    •    Essential Parenting Tips (C)
    •    Essential Parenting Tips (M)
    •    Essential Parenting Tips (T)
    •    Beyond the Vows (E)
    •    Beyond the Vows (C)

*(E) - English, (C) - Chinese, (M) - Malay, (T) - Tamil



                             We will be sending out the SFE Half – Yearly Report (1 Apr 09 to 30 Sep
                             09). The report serves as a consolidated record of the SFE-related
                             activities or programmes that had been carried out by your school during
                             this period, with the help of SFE coordinator and Service Provider.

Hence, please kindly submit the following SFE reimbursements to MCYS by 15 October 09.

    •    SFE reimbursement claim for Sep 09; and
    •    Outstanding SFE reimbursement claim for Apr 09 to Aug 09 (if any)

All submissions of SFE reimbursement should be sent to MCYS at:

Family Life Education Department
Family Development Division
Ministry of Community Development, Youth & Sports
510 Thomson Road
#01-00 SLF Building
Singapore 298135

Attention: SFE Programme Co-ordinator

Please visit for the full details of reimbursement processing.



This article " Parents as Leaders – Rule Setting ” is by Ms Evelyn Khong, Head of Family Life
Education,Fei Yue Community Services. We would like to thank Fei Yue Community Services for
contributing this article.

As the saying goes, every house has its rules; every society has its governance".

However, who thinks about these rules in the family? Who is in charge of defining and enforcing them in
the home?

All families have their own unique and special ways of doing things that define them as a family. How they
get along, what they need to do, and who is responsible for what are some areas where rules need to be
clearly defined in order to hold the family together.

Apart from the fact that rules hold the family together, responses received from a group of children in a
primary school indicated the following reasons why it is important to have rules.

"If there are no rules, everything will be in a mess".

"Rules help us to keep clean and tidy"

"If there are no rules, people will be very lazy"

"Rules help us live"

"Rules are important because they help to keep us safe from danger"

"If there are no rules, children will be spoilt"

"If there are no rules, everyone will be very confused so we need rules to help us keep in order"

"If there are no rules, people will be fired"

As parents take charge of everything in the family, this makes them leaders by default. Since rules are
important and parents are the family leaders, they need to communicate the rules to their children.

Firstly, make rules on what you want and not what you don't want. State the desired behaviour rather than
the undesired behaviour e.g. instead of "don't leave your clothes on the floor", tell them to "put the dirty
clothes in the laundry basket". Instead of saying "don't tell lies", get them to "tell the truth".

Secondly, your rules need to be very specific, short and simple especially with younger children. Talk to
your kids and get some ideas on what their thoughts are for rules in the areas such as meal time, playtime
(PSP, X-Box, Wii, etc.) computer time, outings, family time, games night, housework, homework, etc. For
example, only 1 hour of TV time per day.

Thirdly, choose rewards and consequences that you can live with and will follow through. Rewards need
not be material gains all the time. You can praise, affirm and encourage them when they make efforts to
keep with the rules. Use the "when/then" choice e.g. ‘when you have finished your homework, then you
can play the computer’, or ‘when you have finished your dinner, then you can have an ice cream’.
Consequences are meant to be taught to your child. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Fourthly, talk to your child about the rules and check with them to see if they can understand. Kids are
kids and they may not fully comprehend what you are exactly saying. Be sure to tell them what is required
in very clear and concrete terms. Show them, provide examples or even do a mini role play if need be.
That way, everyone is clear on what is expected of them.

Finally, relax and enjoy the process of parenting. There are no perfect parents and no perfect children.
There will be times when you will just blow it and it is okay. Be kind and patient with yourself. Learn to take
time out and pamper yourself a bit. Affirm, encourage and spur each other on even as you continue the
journey of a lifetime being the family leader in your home.

For more information on Fei Yue Community Services, visit or email


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