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Of Clowns and Giants

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					Of Clowns and Giants

The “Son-of-a-Beach” has done it again. Yes sir. Another simpering broadcast cut in the
mold of Matthew Campisi and „Luda‟-Chris Hamre. It‟s really gonna have a „snowball
effect‟. I wish I had a snowball right now. The “Son-of-a-Beach” would get a Nolan
Ryan fastball right where it belongs.

The son-of-a-beach‟s latest broadcast featured a 7‟3” guest with the nickname „George
the Giant‟. That‟s right – George the Giant. Seven feet three inches in height. Too bad
he doesn‟t play for the Giants though, „Luda‟-Chris would love to have „em. George the
Giant is “a big believer that as long as you know what you are inside and how you are as
a person, what they call you doesn‟t really matter as long as you‟re happy with yourself”.
Yeah, that‟s right. So you little pipsqueaks don‟t worry about being called a few names,
Mr. 7‟3” doesn‟t mind being called a „Giant‟. Oh No. He‟s Big enough to take a little
kidding, don‟t worry about that. He‟s not small-minded. When people make inane
remarks to him he stands tall. He‟s above all that. That‟s the nature of the Big Man.
When people make an inappropriate remark to Big and Tall Men, they carry themselves
high and proud. Big and Tall Men don‟t mind being put on a pedestal. Big and Tall Men
don‟t mind being asked admiringly if they‟re a professional Basketball Player in the
NBA, while you‟re asked condescendingly if you‟re a „midget‟ in the circus or asked if
your mother knows you‟re out late. Big and Tall men don‟t mind folks looking up in awe
and wonderment, so you shouldn‟t mind people looking down at you and laughing. Big
and Tall Men don‟t mind people getting out of their way on the street in sheer amazement
at their incredibly statuesque bodies, while people bump into you out of sheer
condescension. Big and Tall Men don‟t mind the attention of women while the same
women ignore you as if you weren‟t there. (You‟re not) I‟m sure the Big Guy doesn‟t
mind some women wondering just how large his johnson is, while they call you a little
dick. I‟m sure he doesn‟t mind at all. It‟s quite apparent that he doesn‟t go around
claiming that everyone is discriminating against him because of his height. He doesn‟t
have a ridiculous website about “heightism”. He doesn‟t take part in foolish
documentaries. He doesn‟t write silly essays. He doesn‟t go around with a chip on his
shoulder. You know what? He doesn‟t mind any of these things.

He doesn’t have to mind them.
In every case society attaches many positives to his “super-human” stature, and that‟s
what his stature makes him in the eyes of the majority – SUPERHUMAN – JUST THE
OPPOSITE of what your small stature makes you in the eyes of the majority of people.
His Big and Tall stature makes him virtually invulnerable both physically and
psychologically to 99+% of the population in any kind of a confrontation – and he knows
it. Your short and small stature makes YOU a target for 99% of the population, both
physically and psychologically. And he‟s the one telling YOU the short person in effect
to just take things in stride. Ironic isn‟t it? And of course, his words must be respected
because – HE‟S A BIG AND TALL MAN. For some reason or another BIG AND
TALL MEN get IMMEDIATE respect - AUTOMATICALLY. They don‟t even have to
do anything.

George the Giant mentioned that he has a friend who‟s a dwarf – The famous „Mighty
Mike‟. GTG even mentioned that „Mighty Mike was touring with “Motley Crue‟ and the
“great” Britney Spears. „Mighty Mike‟ is obviously happy with himself. He‟s obviously
immune to the catcalls of the knaves. Funny though, GTG didn‟t mention what „Mighty
Mike‟ actually DOES. At least I don‟t think he did. That‟s strange. Oh well, it doesn‟t
really matter does it? All that really matters is that he‟s happy with himself. The Son-of-
a-Beach seemed to be agreeing with the Tall man all the way. Go Bit, uh, I mean Beach!
Oh by the way Big George has his own website. It seems the Big Guy is a “performer”
who does stuff like, swallowing swords, eating bugs, walking on glass and stuff only real
men dare to do. Only a Big Strong Man could do all that. You can bet your boots on it.

You know, if we were to ridicule Big George it would just look like jealousy, pure and
simple. It would look like we just wanted to be tall ourselves wouldn‟t it? It would
appear that it‟s just sour grapes. But if height is so trivial than why would anyone be
jealous of a Taller? Hmm. But what is Beach-the-clown trying to prove by interviewing
a man who is taller than 99.999% of the population and virtually agreeing with him when
he seems to be telling short people in effect to „just take things in stride‟ when demeaning
comments are directed at them? How do you fight heightism by telling people the same
bullcrap that „Mrs. Tallman‟* might tell you? How do you fight heightism by acting like
a buffoon? Apparently it is not Beach‟s intention to fight heightism here. Acting too
serious might affect the clowns‟ image and cause people not to laugh at him when he‟s on
stage. And if they don‟t laugh at him he won‟t be funny. And if he‟s not funny he won‟t
be able to make $$$$. Get the picture? A clown setting an example for other short men
to follow suit and act like clowns – that‟s about the size of it.

       See little man, I‟m a funny clown-like man. I make money being funny! You can‟t be
       funny like me? HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH!
       NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH!

I think folks that Beach may now be a contender along with Matthew S. Campisi and
„Luda‟-Chris Hamre for the title of most ludicrous. By the way folks have you seen the
Son-of-a-Beach‟s website? A real buffoon - perfect for NOSSA. A short man who‟s a
real clown reinforcing the clownish image of short men. I‟m sorry what did you say?
You like clowns? I do too – except for this one. We think he should stick to his juggling
act, maybe make some funny faces or dress up as a girl or maybe just take the role of a
clownish short man in some intelligence-insulting TV commercial that depicts short men
in their usual roles of buffoons. Heightism is a serious subject; at least we think that it is.
David „Son-of-a‟-Beach only reinforces the stereotypes of short men with this broadcast.
He only reinforces society‟s opinion that short men belong in the circus or on the stage as
clowns. As a matter of fact we think Beach belongs in the circus. It seems Beach is also
a magician. Hey I‟ve got an idea for the Beach bum. How „bout he recruit Matthew
Campisi for his magic act. How „bout he lock Campisi in a trunk and saw him in half.
Now that‟s a trick I like. I‟ll get the saw.
* see broadcasts

Supportfortheshort.org is issuing a challenge to all short-statured clowns who make
ludachris broadcasts to appear in a broadcast on this website with the webmaster, to
discuss the issues of Heightism; however we don‟t think they‟re going to accept – unless
of course they have a big Giant Man by their side. Cowards only run and hide – just ask
Matthew Campisi.

Oh by the way, Big George also stated in his interview:

          “As George Carlin said, “Words can‟t hurt you”. If you let the meanings hurt
          you. That‟s really your own fault.”

Your own fault.

Just call anyone a derogatory name based on Race, religion, ethnic background or
national origin, sex, sexual orientation, disability, marital status, transgenderism, color,
creed, age, etc. – even weight, and then tell them, “If you‟re hurt it‟s your own fault”.
See what happens.

ALL OBNOXIOUS SON-OF-A-BEACH’S PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY OUT OF
THE BROADCASTING AREA NOW!

Count how many times „Son-of-a-Beach‟ used the word “WOW!” admiringly in response
to Big George. Notice towards the end of the broadcast how Beach seemed to be
trivializing the problems of the short-statured with his reactions to Big George talking
about the logistical difficulties of his exceptionally Tall height. Oh by the way, we just
love the fake applause. Bit, uh, I mean Beach, sure does need it.

This David Beach character is someone very likely recruited by the unsavory character
known as Matthew S. Campisi. A „National Organization of Short Statured Adults, Inc.‟
formed following the webmasters‟ complaints to states‟ Attorney Generals‟ Offices back
in 2006, recruits a clown to do broadcasts to tell short men in effect to just „suck it up‟
and act like clowns. We don‟t know who‟s a bigger joke, David Beach or Matthew S.
Campisi.

				
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