Author: Dale C. Carson
Author: Wes Denham
Table of Contents
CRIMINAL JUSTICE PLAYERS: COPS, BAD GUYS, THE CLUELESS HORDE
1 New Plantations for New Generations
2 To Hunt and Arrest Is the Quest of the Best
3 When You're Living Free and Tall, Don't Become a Score in Police Pinball
4 Getting Wise to Real Bad Guys
5 Get on Board with the Clueless Horde
6 Those Freaking Jits Will Give You Fits
7 Why Minorities Get Hammered
8 Law Enforcement Shouldn't Give a Pass to All Those Crooks in the Middle Class
9 Some Modest Suggestions
ARREST PROOFING ON THE STREETS
10 Cop a 'Tude and You Get Screwed
11 Dirty Cop Tricks
12 Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Don't Let Big Bad Cops See You
13 Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come for You?
14 Blue Light? Stay Out of Sight!
15 If You Lie, the Cops Will Pry
16 Mama Was Right: Stay Home at Night!
17 You Can Win by Giving In
18 To Avoid the Tragic, Use Words That Are Magic
19 Street Creds Are Tops for Dealing with Cops
20 There Ain't No Hope When You Carry Dope
21 Emergency Procedures
22 When Girls Tell a Tale That Sends You to Jail
ARREST PROOFING IN YOUR CAR
23 Citizen Inspection? Revenue Collection? Or Driver Protection?
24 Mirror, Mirror in the Car, Will the Cops Stay Near or Far?
25 Staying Free During a Traffic Stop Means the Guy Who Loses Is the Cop
26 To Be Searched or Not to Be Searched? That Is the Question!
27 Tips That Never Fail to Keep You Out of Jail
28 Car Creds Are the Key to Keep You Free
29 Don't Get in a Lurch. Do a Search!
30 You Can Tell Cops "Toodle-oo" When You Squirt the Yellow Goo
AIDS TO LEARNING
The Golden Rules
The Magic Words
This essential “how not to” guide explains how to act and what to say in the presence of police to
minimize the chances of being arrested and to avoid add-on charges—which can often lead to permanent
disqualification from jobs, financing, and education. Citizens can learn how to avoid arrest both on the
street and when pulled over in a vehicle and are alerted to basic tricks cops use to get people to
incriminate themselves. Sprinkled with absurdity and humor, this urgent, eye-opening book is a guide to
criminal justice for all Americans.
As hunters of humans rather than animals, cops are at the top of the predator pecking order. All hunters
are interested in the number of animals they bag. Cops, however, are obsessed. The most important
thing in a cop’s life is the number of arrests made—how many each day, each week, each month. Cops
get paid, promoted, and earn status and a macho rep almost exclusively by arrest numbers. This is bad
news for you, because when cops come up short at the end of the month and have to make their
numbers, they’ll arrest anybody for anything.But relax and take a chill pill. If you’re reading this book,
you’re probably not in jail—yet. What you’re going to do now is study your hunters and discover what
they do, how they do it, and why.Cops are constantly studying and training how to arrest you. Now you’re
turning the tables and learning how to avoid them and stay free. What you will discover will astound you.
For cops, making arrests and giving out tickets is much like a game, with a point score and a monthly
total. I call this police pinball. It’s a game you don’t want to play.First, let’s discuss basic police patrol
operations. Forget what you see on TV—glamorous detectives, undercover officers, and crime-scene
technicians. These people exist in big-city departments, and they investigate the most serious crimes,
but they make only a small percentage of arrests. The average person, even one who has been
repeatedly arrested, may never encounter these types of officers in a lifetime.The cops who make the
most arrests and who fill jails around the nation are patrol officers, the men and women in blue. How does
a department know who’s a good cop and who’s not? Simple. Departmental bosses just count the
number of arrests and traffic tickets the cops give out in a month. Is it really that simple? Yep.On TV, you
see police officers having heart-to-heart talks about their careers with (usually) gorgeous psychiatrists.
You see concerned captains pondering thick personnel dossiers to which they’ve given hours of mature
reflection. In real life this rarely happens, and it doesn’t have to. The best cops give out more traffic
tickets and arrest more guys. Period.Some arrests are more important than others, so there’s a rough
scoring system. Let’s say traffic tickets are worth one point. Misdemeanor arrests then are worth two
points, and felony arrests three points. Arrest someone with an outstanding warrant? Extra point! Find
guns, narcotics, or stolen property? Score another point.Police departments deny this and piously
proclaim they don’t have quotas of traffic tickets and arrests. They’re right, in a narrow sense.
Departments don’t set quotas, but they sure keep score. All police departments value felony arrests more
than misdemeanor busts and traffic tickets, regardless of whether they use a formal point system.So a
good cop doesn’t hit the street thinking, “How am I going to make America a safer place?” He simply
goes out to score points. I set felony arrest records by being assigned to Miami’s most dangerous
neighborhoods on the night shift. During those hours the place was chock-full of high-value bad guys. It
was, as cops would say, a target-rich environment. Many of the guys I arrested had (a) outstanding arrest
warrants; (b) drugs, guns, and stolen goods; and (c) automobile violations that required a ticket. So on a
traffic stop I could get a traffic ticket (one point), a felony...