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Succeed by being single-minded

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					Succeed by being single-minded
By NICK BLISS                              asking whether it was one or two                                                these, all of these or none of these   since they dated and there is a new
and JULIE HOUGHTON                         out of three marriages that ended
                                           in divorce.                          I Survival tips                            - the choice is yours.
                                                                                                                              Society today puts a lot of
                                                                                                                                                              .   learning curve to be negotiated.
                                                                                                                                                                    These people' really need tG
                                             That's one way to put people in                                                emphasis on "fitting in", and peo-    connect with others, but they may
All my friends are getting married         their place if they ask intrusive    • Enjoy your single status, whether It's   ple do tend to embark on relation-
Yes, they're all growing old               personal questions.                                                             ships to solve loneliness.             not want an intimate relationship.
                                                                                  astage in your life or a more
They're all stayin' home on the weekend      Remember, there are things you       permanent arrangement.                      A broader vision of knowing who       Sometimes sharing houses with
They're all doin' what they're told.       can do as a single that you may                                                 you are and how to fill that need by   others is the way to go.
                         -   Skyhooks     have trouble doing as a couple.       • Realise that awider group of friends     engaging with a wider group of           If you feel like trying the inti-
                                             You may have a group of friends      can fulfil emotional needs.              friends may be more helpful.           mate relationship game again, it's
     HE late Shirley Strachan had         with whom you go out to dinner                                                      A useful question for smart sin-
T    his tongue planted firmly in
     his cheek when he sang these
words in the 1970s, but they have
                                          and have open conversations
                                          because you know one another
                                          so well.
                                                                                • Don't leI the smug marrieds make
                                                                                  you feel less important - remember
                                                                                  Ihal marriages aren't always made
                                                                                                                           gles is whether being single is the
                                                                                                                           destination or a place along the
                                                                                                                           path of life?
                                                                                                                                                                  important to realise it may not go
                                                                                                                                                                  smoothly at first. It may take five
                                                                                                                                                                  goes at a relationship and it's the
                                                                                                                                                                  sixth one that works.
the ring of truth for many single            If you add a couple to a group       in heaven.                                  Being single can be very com-
people.                                   like this, the conversation may                                                  fortable, without a lot of attach-       Our lifespans are longer and we
  When you're surrounded by peo-          suddenly be different because the                                                ments and responsibilities.            have more single elderly people.
ple leaping off the singles branch        dynamics have changed.                  Nearly a third of the population            It's a great stage in life and it   Many solve the companionship
on to the marriage tree, life can            Singles often crave being nur-     is single, but society can tend to         may come to a natural end if you       problem by living near others in
seem to be moving a little too fast.      tured emotionally and it's a mat-     place a lesser value on being single       meet someone, or it may be what        retirement villages, maintaining
So how does a single cope when            ter of finding out how you can fill                                              suits you permanently.
surrounded by "smug marrieds"?            this need outside the couple state.   than being a couple.                          Take the journey and see where      their independence but fulfilling
  In the film Bridget Jones's                A group of women or men who          Life in the 21st century is about        it leads you.                          their need for social contact.
Diary, Bridget was the only single        meet regularly to talk about issues   options. Years ago, the life path             One group are people who be-
invited to a dinner party of insuf-       atIecting them may fill this need     was more clearly marked: grow up,          come single again after separation     Nick Bliss is a counsellor and mediator
ferable smug marrieds. When               for some people, and this can be a    get ajob, marry, have children and         or the death of a partner.             with Relationships Australia.
questioned about her single sta-          great source of emotional strength    settle down.                                  The issues for this group are       Ph: 1300 364 277 or visit
tus, she responded sweetly by             for singles.                            Today you may do some of                 different - it's been a long time

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