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God is my Rubik's Cube

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									God is my Rubik’s Cube
By Mark Barkaway


My desire for god is like the infinite turns on the Rubik’s cube. Just
like my searching to understand God I have been waiting for a
solution to the Rubik’s Cube for thirty or so years.

When I started out with my Rubik’s cube I was certain there was an
answer. I had seen the picture on the front of the box. I had heard
stories of people who could complete it within 26 simple moves and
under a minute. But over time I struggled to find an easy way to
navigate my way to the end of the puzzle.

In my early years I got bored with it and cast it aside for a while. I
disbelieved there could be an answer for me. But there was always a
deep unexplainable intrigue that drew me back. A desire to achieve
and succeed the triumph of those equal walls of primary colour. A
desire to be able to share and tell others of the solution I had found. A
compulsive need to figure out the right way.

I would meticulously turn each square, sometimes I would feel like I
was making progress with a clear layer of colour forming, but then
quickly I’d discover what I thought was the right way didn’t provide the
solution I was looking for.

I grappled with the cube for years. But as I struggled with it I came to
realize it is in this wrestling that I experience what a rubiks cube is,
not in it’s completion.

I am still waiting to complete the puzzle of the Rubik’s cube. To find
the answer that I long for. But I know deep down that the purpose of
the Rubik’s cube does not lie in the finding the answer to the solution
but rather in the conundrum it poses, the anticipation and the wait,
the challenges and the questions it asks of me along the way.

								
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