New “Mimicker” Device for Electric Guitar to be Released
by Jason Earls, author of How to Become a Guitar Player from Hell & Heartless Bast*rd In Ecstasy http://becomeguitaristfromhell.blogspot.com/ http://www.youtube.com/user/zevi35711 A guitar manufacturing company based in New York that specializes in innovative guitar designs, plus supplementary add-on features, has recently announced the development of a new “mimicker” device for the electric guitar, which should be on the market by late 2009. The new device, known only as a “mimicker” at this point, will be capable of installation on any type of Strat-shaped electric guitar by “add-on” or building it into the instrument. The mimicker involves pushing a single button to record any nearby sound for intervals of five seconds up to a full minute (depending on prior setup and programming), then outputting the same sound but in “distorted electric guitar” style, along with printing full guitar tablature and traditional sheet music to allow the guitarist to play the mimicker’s version of the source of the sound. The mimicker is presently about the size of a cigar box although not as thick and more contoured, but engineers for the company say it is expected to shrink in size by the time of release later this year. The mimicker fits securely onto the end of most Stratshaped electric guitar bodies and runs on two 9 volt batteries; paper insertion is also necessary for the printing of tablature and sheet music. Reports from the guitar company state that the mimicker will retail for approximately $600 but prices are expected to lower considerably after only a few months. For further elucidation purposes, here is a more detailed explanation in algorithmic outline of exactly how the mimicker functions: Attachment of the mimicker to an electric guitar. Hold the device close to a sound that the guitarist would like reproduce. Push a single button to start the following process. During a pre-programmed amount of time, the mimicker will a) record the sound to be reproduced b) play back the original sound in the form of a distorted electric guitar c) print out guitar tablature and sheet music which perfectly matches the notes played by the guitar as reproduction of the original sound, so the musician can learn, study, or further adapt the music, etc. Just how accurate is this new mimicker device? This reporter was present during the guitar company’s press demonstration (and also visited the main research laboratory to witness tests) and personally I was amazed at the level of reproduction of the 1. 2. to 3. 4.
original sounds transformed into that of a distorted electric guitar. I witnessed the company technicians efficiently reproduce a plethora of different sounds using the mimicker: bumblebees swarming, shattering glass, a soothing waterfall, bent-circuit synthesizers, elephant blasts, tubas and accordions and other “traditional” musical instruments, animal flatulence, even part of a recording of a symphony orchestra, these were all successfully “mimicked” and played back by the new device with accurate sheet music produced as well – it seems nearly any sound can be reproduced with the mimicker. What next? The possibilities for the mimicker seem limitless and it is suspected by “futurists” that a revolution in all musical forms and styles will soon take place as composers, guitarists, musicians, and various established bands get ahold of this incredible new piece of musical equipment at the end of 2009, proving yet again that there is no limit to what can be accomplished with an electric guitar. Hopefully the price of the mimicker will drop rapidly so that any and all musicians will be able to afford one. Representatives for the guitar company said even more revolutionary add-ons for the electric guitar are presently in development and will be released in the immediate future. (NOTE: THIS IS A FAKE NEWS STORY, IT IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. I hope you enjoyed it.) -end(Thanks for reading. If you know of any magazines that would like to publish this article, please contact the author: zevi_35711@yahoo.com. Also, you would be helping out the author greatly if you purchased one of his books from Amazon.com or another online book store of your choice. Regards.) http://becomeguitaristfromhell.blogspot.com/ http://zombiesofthereddescent.blogspot.com/ http://www.youtube.com/user/zevi35711 Bio: Jason Earls is the author of Cocoon of Terror (Afterbirth Books), Heartless Bastard In Ecstasy, How to Become a Guitar Player from Hell, Zombies of the Red Descent, If(Sid_Vicious == TRUE && Alan_Turing == TRUE) {ERROR_Cyberpunk(); }, Red Zen, and 0.136101521283655... all available at Amazon.com and other online book stores. His fiction and mathematical work have been published in Red Scream, Yankee Pot Roast, M-Brane SF, Scientia Magna, three of Clifford Pickover’s books, Mathworld.com, AlienSkin, Recreational and Educational Computing, Escaping Elsewhere, Neometropolis, Thirteen, Dogmatika, Prime Curios, the Online Encyclopedia of Integer Sequences, OG’s Speculative Fiction, Nocturnal Ooze, Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens and other publications. He currently resides in Oklahoma with his wife, Christine.