Parenting skills newsletter for by fjzhangweiqun


         19 & 20 Months
                 Happy Dancing
                                 First Wish
                                  A        h   a    p    p    y       &       h    e    a
                                                                                            Cooperative Extension Service

                                                                                              New Mexico State University

                                                                                                t   h    y       l   i f e

Your Child                                                                             Toddlers like to do things with their
                                                                                       parents. They like music and
                                                                                       rhythm and body movement.

Is Special                                                                             Happy dancing combines all these
                                                                                       things. Turn on some music. Teach
                                                                                       your child to do a happy dance.
Isn’t it nice that your child is like                                                  Dance to fast music and to slow
no other in the whole world? With                                                      music. Hold hands and dance
every issue of Baby’s First Wish, we                                                   together. Clap your hands to music
have told parents that normal                                                          or use large wooden spoons or beat
children differ in their speed of                                                      on something that makes a nice
development. Parents often worry                                                       noise. Show your little one how to
that their children are not develop-                                                   keep the rhythm and play along
ing like other children.                                                               with the beat. Children grow up to
  Those who study young children                                                       like the kind of music they hear
agree on one thing, children develop                                                   when they are little. Play different
at their own pace. Some children                                                       kinds of music, and your child will
walk as early as 7 months. Many do                                                     learn to like many kinds.
not walk before they are 18 months
old. Children may begin talking at 8
months or at 24 months, and so it is
with all learning.
  Your child enjoys learning new
skills. You can support this learn-
ing, not by pushing or putting            Remember, Baby’s First Wish describes a typical child at each age. Each
down or comparing your child              child is special and each child develops at his or her own pace. Children
with other children, but by teach-        may do things earlier or later than those described in Baby’s First Wish.
ing, encouraging, and celebrating         If you are concerned about your child’s development, see your doctor.
her successes.

                     A m o n t h - b y - m o n t h n e w s l e t te r f o r y o u a n d y o u r b a b y 25 & 26 Months   1
                                                                                 T That
                                                                                 Milk Carton Blocks
                                                                                 Block play allows young children
                                                                                 to learn about patterns, shapes,
                                                                                 and sizes. They learn how to
                                                                                 stack things, and they learn
                                                                                 what happens when stacks are
                                                                                 knocked down. These lightweight

                                                                                 building blocks, which cost
                                                                                 almost nothing to make, are very
                                                                                 popular with children.

Mealtime Is Mess Time                                                            Materials
                                                                                 • Milk or cream cartons
Toddlers are messy eaters. You can         Serve your toddler food at the        • Heavy plastic or duct tape
bet that a lot of food will end up       same time everyone else is eating.
on the floor. If you are worried         Your toddler will learn how to eat
about the carpet or floor, put an        by watching you and other family        Making the Toy
old sheet under the high chair. You      members eat. Don’t expect good          Take any two cartons of equal size
can shake it out after meals. When       table manners yet. Your child will      and cut them to the same height.
it gets really dirty, you can wash it.   learn these over the next few years.    Turn one over and slip it inside the
   Things that make eating easier          A high chair can help. Toddlers       other so that it makes a block.
for your toddler are small items         are such busy little people they        Tape the edges with duct tape or
that won’t break, such as a:             might not want to stop to eat           heavy mailing tape—a kind chil-
• Spoon with a short handle.             when it’s time for a meal or snack.     dren can’t peel off and swallow.
• Bowl with sides to push food up        When you put your child in a high       You can cover the blocks with con-
against.                                 chair, he knows that it’s time to       tact paper or you can paste letters,
• Cup that your toddler can circle       stop what he is doing and eat.          numbers, or pictures on them.
his hands around and pick up.
(This cup shouldn’t tip over easily.
If you use a training cup with a
lid, it can make drinking easier.)
   There will be lots of spills. Most
of the time they will be accidental.
If it happens three or four times in
                                         He She? Him or Her?
a row, your toddler might be play-       Baby’s First Wish gives equal time and space to both sexes. That’s
ing or trying to get your attention.     why we take turns referring to children as “he” or “she.” Please note:
This means it is probably time to        when we use he or she, we include all children.
end the meal.

   2    Baby’s First Wish
                                                                                 Be Good
                                                                                 to Yourself
                                                                                 Give Yourself a Gift
                                                                                 Taking care of a toddler can leave
                                                                                 you feeling like you never have a
                                                                                 moment for yourself. If you’re feel-
                                                                                 ing stressed out, give yourself a
                                                                                 gift—some time just for you. Trade
                                                                                 babysitting with another parent,
                                                                                 or trade a service like cooking a
                                                                                 meal in return for a few hours of
                                                                                 baby- sitting. You’ve earned it, you
                                                                                 deserve it, and you don’t need to
                                                                                 be embarrassed to ask for it. Here

Special T or Blanket                                                             are some suggestions for spending
                                                                                 time on yourself:

Lots of children have special blan-      teddy bear or toy is a friend who       • Take a long bubble bath, a walk,
kets, teddy bears, or toys. Some chil-   has shared your child’s life through      or a swim, see a movie, or read
dren take up with the strangest          thick and thin, in sickness and           a book.
things. They claim them and call         health, in good times and bad.          • Plan your future—look for class-
them their own forever—or at least       Most of us would welcome such a           es you might take, jobs you
until someone makes fun of them.         friend if it could do as much for us.     might like, things you would
The most common favorite object is          What do you do about these spe-        enjoy.
a blanket. Your little one may           cial comforts and attachments—          • Spend time with a friend—
appear every morning with one            you leave them alone, because, in         without children.
thumb in the mouth and the other         time—your child will realize the        • Talk to someone about the stress
hand holding a ratty, worn blanket.      blanket or bear or other toy isn’t        you feel and what you might do
   There are some stories about          going to solve life’s problems. He        to reduce it.
security blankets that would truly       will come to realize he can solve his
surprise you. Heaven forbid if it        problems by himself. For now, let       The time you take just for yourself
should get lost, stolen (who’d want      him enjoy his comforting “friends.”     will help you feel better and ready
it?), or washed. Yet that blanket or                                             to face your child again.

Sometimes Change Takes Time
Does it sometimes seem that your         telling him you like what he is         minutes without fighting, tell him
child changes almost too fast, while     doing. That way, he won’t get upset     you like what he is doing.
at other times he learns things soo-     and have trouble learning.                Let him know you like what he
o-o slowly? Believe it or not, your         If your messy eater gets two         can do. Try not to talk about what
little one wants to learn and is         spoonfuls of applesauce in his          he cannot do. He’ll learn faster
doing his best. Some things are just     mouth without spilling much, let        and you’ll both feel better.
hard for him to get the hang of.         him know you are pleased. If he
You can help by being calm and by        plays with another child for just 5

                                                                                               19 & 20 Months   3
What’s It Like T Be
19 And 20 Months Old?
                                                                                   • I’m still not very interested in
                                                                                     other children.
                                                                                   • I may treat other children
                                                                                     like they were things; I may
                                                                                     hurt them.
                                                                                   • Even when I’m with other chil-
                                                                                     dren, I like to play alone.
                                                                                   • I want to keep my toys to myself,
                                                                                     and I may hide them so others
                                                                                     can’t play with them.
                                                                                   • I need time to get to know peo-
                                                                                     ple; I’m afraid of some people.
                                                                                   • I like to do things without
                                                                                     adult help.
                                                                                   • I may be less friendly to adults,
                                                                                     but this won’t last long.

                                                                                   What I Can Do
                                                                                   • I can brush my own teeth.
                                          • I ask a lot of questions, mostly by    • Sometimes I will let you know
How I Grow                                  saying “why?” or “what’s that?”          when I’m going to have a bowel
• I explore a lot.                          Be patient with me. I am just try-       movement.
• I may be able to kick a large             ing to learn.                          • I can let you know when I need
  ball.                                                                              dry clothing.
                                                                                   • I can feed myself pretty well.
• I like being independent, but
  sometimes I want to act like            What I Have
  a baby.
• I can run without falling too often.    Learned                                  Play I Enjoy
• I can stand on either foot              • I can pull the toilet paper way out.   • I like to play alone, but I like
  holding on.                             • I can put two pieces together to         adults to be near me.
• I still like to climb on things.          form a simple figure.                  • I enjoy swinging on a swing.
• I don’t know about safety, so I         • I’m beginning to know what             • I like dressing up in adult’s
  count on you to keep thinks safe          things are for, like a hammer is         clothes and pretending I am
  for me.                                   for banging.                             an adult.
                                          • I can draw an up and down line         • I like picture books, and I love
                                            pretty well.                             looking at pictures of myself.
How I Talk                                                                         • I like to have you sing to me.
                                                                                   • I like making mud pies and
    I’m very good at saying “no.”
    I love to name things.                How I Get Along                            pretending to eat them.
                                                                                   • I like to take toys apart.
    I can follow simple directions.
    I like to be read to.                 with Others                              • I like rides and walks.
•   I can say about 15 words.             • I love cuddling.                       • I like to look at myself in
•   I like to listen to nursery rhymes.   • I like to help you do simple things.     the mirror.

      4   Baby’s First Wish
Games for Growing

Big and Little Touch a
Purpose of the Game
To teach your child about oppo-
sites and sizes.                        Word
How to Play                             Purpose of the Game
                                        To help you child point to objects
• Sit with your child.
                                        named and learn the words for
• Place three big and three little
                                        these objects.
  blocks on the floor.
• Pile the blocks up in different
  patterns and describe what you        How to Play
  are doing. For example, “Now I’ll     • Sit with your child.
  take the big block. Now I’ll put      • Turn pages in a baby’s picture
  the little block on it,” and so on.     book and say to your child,
• Now say something like, “We             “Where’s the car? Touch the
  need a big block. Give me a big         horse.”
  block.” Or ask for the little         • Then say, “Now look at this. This
  blocks, so that your child learns       is the word for car.” Point to the
  the difference between big and          word and then say, “Point to the
  little. Help your child make up         car. Touch the word for car.” Play
  other block games or big and lit-       this and any game only if it is
  tle games you can play together.        fun for both you and your child.

                                                                               19 & 20 Months   5
Toddler Talk                            Guidance
Let Me Play                             and Discipline
in Water and Sand
Let me play in sand, dirt, and          Temper Tantrums
mud, even if I get dirty. A pile of     Sometimes children between the
sand or dirt in the corner of the       ages of 1 and 3 have temper
yard will be great. You can make        tantrums. They may cry, shout, hit,
a sandbox by filling an old tire        bite, throw themselves on the floor
with clean sand. Keep the sand-         and kick. Some hold their breath.
box covered when it’s not in use        You may not know what started
to keep out cats and dogs.              the tantrum. You certainly know
  Let me play with water.               you want to stop it!
Bathing, filling containers, and          Some children have tantrums,
washing dishes are great fun. Give      because they have learned it is a
me a bucket or can filled with          way to get something they want.       • Try to stay calm—often hard to do.
clear water and an old paint-           Others copy parents who have          • Keep your child from hurting
brush. I will paint the sidewalk,       quick tempers. Tantrums might           herself or others.
the house, and everything I can         mean that the child is angry or       • Remove her from other children
reach.                                  upset. Maybe she has been told too      or from the place where she’s
  Put a small dishpan of water on       often what she cannot do.               having her tantrum or just hold
the kitchen floor or outdoors. Add        Children seem to have temper          her in your arms.
a funnel, sponge, measuring             tantrums most often when they are     • When your child has calmed
spoons and cups, a washcloth,           too tired, hungry, or very excited.     down, hold her and try to learn
and a plastic squeeze bottle. I’ll      Although temper tantrums are            the reason for the tantrum.
enjoy pouring, washing and              normal for children this age, they    • If you give the child what she
squirting. Don’t leave me alone         don’t happen as often if the child      wants when she has a tantrum,
with water; I can drown in less         feels loved and special.                she might learn to use tantrums
than 2 inches of water.                   There is no magic way to handle       to get her own way all the time.
  All this is teaching me about the     tantrums, but here are some things
world I live in—and it’s lots of fun.   you might try:

Watch Out!
Avoid Burns
Burns are very serious and painful      the kitchen when hot liquids are      hold before your child gets burned.
for children. The problems and          spilled. Be careful when you are      Remember that your child might
pain from a burn could last the         cooking and serving. Hot appli-       surprise you with his actions. Be
rest of your child’s life. Most burns   ances can burn children.              prepared:
to children occur between birth           In this early age, children grow    • Never eat, drink, or carry any-
and 4 years of age.                     so fast parents are often not ready   thing hot when you are carrying
  Most burns to children are            for what a baby can do. Toddlers      your child; you can’t handle both!
caused by:                              can pull hot food off a table or      • Never leave anything hot on the
• Hot liquids and foods, such as        touch a hot stove, while they are     edge of a table or counter.
  coffee, tea, and grease.              trying to walk. A 2-year-old will     • Be very careful when your child
• Touching hot surfaces, such as        get in your way in the kitchen, and   is with you in the kitchen. Don’t let
  stoves, irons, and heaters.           you can spill hot food on him.        him play in the kitchen when you
  These burns occur most often in         Change your habits and house-       are not there.

    6   Baby’s First Wish
What                                    Questions
We Know                                 Parents Ask                              Health
How to Help                             What Are the                             Give Your Child a
Toddlers Feel Secure                    Terrible Twos?                           Healthy Smile
There have been a lot of studies on     Q. I’ve heard about the terrible         Your child’s first teeth are
parents and their young children.       twos. What are they and how do           important for:
Some parents are close and loving       I cope with them?                        • Helping your child chew and
with their children, but others are                                                talk.
tense.                                                                           • Saving space for adult teeth to
  In a close family relationship,       A. Terrible twos may not be terri-         grow in straight.
the child feels secure. She feels she   ble, but they can be hard. Most          • Helping your child feel good
can count on her parents for love,      toddlers go through a period at            about her smile.
care and safety. When parents see       about 2 years old—some as early
their child’s distress and can com-     as 18 months, some much later—           By following a few easy steps,
fort the child, they become close       when they love doing just what           you can avoid dental problems
and secure. Children are more like-     you do not want them to do.              in your shild’s life:
ly to obey parents if they have a         This happens because toddlers          • Gently clean your baby’s teeth
positive, trusting relationship.        are learning independence at this           and gums daily with a damp
                                                    age. They have the              cloth, gauze, or toothbrush.
                                                    ability to do things on      • Feed only formula, milk or
                                                    their own and are               water from a bottle. Do not
                                                    learning that they can          add sugar. Offer the bottle
                                                    have some power over            only at feeding time.
                                                    others. They have            • If you use a pacifier to comfort
                                                    learned to say “no” and         your baby, never dip it in any
                                                    “I want.” They want             sweet substance.
                                                    right now, and they let      • If your drinking water has flu-
                                                    you know this very              oride, (check with your county
                                                    clearly. Sometimes they         health department) give your
                                                    want things they                child water to drink. If your
                                                    shouldn’t have, and             child’s drinking water does
                                                    sometimes they want             not have fluorlde, ask your
                                                    things they don’t even          doctor about fluoride supple-
                                                    want just to show how           ments. Fluoride helps build
                                                    powerful they are.              strong teeth.
                                                         Remember, when          • Take your child for a dental
                                                    your toddler reaches            checkup when she is between
                                                    this stage, he is not try-      2 and 3 years old.
                                                    ing to be mean. He’s
                                                    just showing that he is
                                                    growing up. Take it
                                                    easy. Use the ideas we
                                                    have discussed in this
                                                    newsletter. In a few          Coming Next:
                                                    months, your toddler          • Hassles In Public;
                                                    should be moving out          • Choosing Child Care
                                                    of this period.

                                                                                               19 & 20 Months   7
                                                                                     NMSU COOPERATIVE EXTENSION SERVICE OFFICES

Baby’s First Wish                                                          Alamogordo
                                                                                              401 Fairgrounds Rd.
                                                                                              1510 Menaul NW
                                                                                              213A S. Oliver
Editor: Diana S. DelCampo, Ph.D.                                           Bernalillo         811 Camino del Pueblo                 867-2582
        Child Development and Family Life Specialist                       Carlsbad           1304 W. Stevens                       857-6595
                                                                           Carrizozo          300 Central                           648-2311
                                                                           Clayton            100 Street                            374-9361
                                                                           Clovis             818 Main                              763-6505
                                                                           Deming             700 S. Silver                         546-8806
                                                                           Dulce              Hawks Drive                           759-3530
                                                                           Española           1122 Industrial Park Rd. #82          753-3405
                                                                           Estancia           County Courthouse                     384-2416
Baby’s First Wish was adapted from Parent Express,                         Fort Sumner        514 Avenue C                          355-2381
California Cooperative Extension, by Dr. Wendy                             Gallup             5002 W. Historic 66                   863-3432
Hamilton and Dr. Diana DelCampo, New Mexico State                          Grants             515 W. High St.                       287-9266
University Cooperative Extension Service.                                  Las Cruces         808 N. Alameda                        525-6649
                                                                           Las Vegas          County Courthouse Annex               454-1497
                                                                           Lordsburg          300 Shakespeare                       542-9291
                                                                           Los Alamos         475 20th St.                          662-2656
            Another 4-H Prevention Program                                 Los Lunas          319D Hwy. 314                         865-9561
                                                                           Los Ojos           Los Ojos Hwy. House 72                588-7423
                                                                           Lovington          100 N. Main Ste. 10-C                 396-2819
                                                                           Mora               Hwy. 518                              387-2856
                                                                           Mosquero           3rd & Pine                            673-2341
                                                                           Portales           705 E. Lime St.                       356-4417
                                                                           Raton              3rd & Savage                          445-8071
Order Alert: Baby’s First Wish is an educational pro-                      Reserve            County Courthouse                     533-6430
                                                                           Roswell            200 E. Chisum, #4                     622-3210
gram from NMSU’s Cooperative Extension Service. This                       Santa Fe           3229 Rodeo Rd.                        471-4711
newsletter series is designed for parents with young                       Santa Rosa         450 Parker Ave.                       472-3652
children. To order the series, contact your county                         Silver City        2610 N. Silver                        388-1559
Extension office. 2002                                                     Socorro            214 Neel Ave., NW                     835-0610
                                                                           Taos               202 Chamisa Road                      758-3982
                                                                           T or C             2101 S. Broadway                      894-2375
Visit our Web site at:                                     Tucumcari          301 S. 3rd                            461-0562
                                                                           Zuni               02 Route 301 North                    782-4495

    New Mexico State University is an equal opportunity, affirmative action employer. NMSU and the U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating.

                                                                                                                      19 & 20 Months

                                                                                            LAS CRUCES, NM 88003
                                                                                            BOX 30003, MSC 3AE
                                                                                            COOPERATIVE EXTENSION SERVICE
                                                                                            NEW MEXICO STATE UNIVERSITY

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