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The Power of Language Agreement Frames

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The Power of Language
  h r r v r 0 ,0 od n h n lh a u g cod g o o tn
                                             i     n
T ee ae o e 5 00 0 w rs i te E gs l g a e a c ri t C mpo ’           n             s
encyclopaedia. Other sources state that the figure is closer to 750,000. English has
the largest number of words of any language on earth. Yet our habitual vocabulary
(the range of words we use personally as individuals) is extremely limited.

The average person has a vocabulary range of 2,000 –10,000 words. This is just 2%
of their capacity. The words we choose to use, impact on our communications with
others. It is important to understand how the language we choose to use (there are
at least 450,000 alternatives) contributes to our success or failure when we
communicate with others.

Agreement Frames
The beginning of any successful negotiation starts with getting the other party into an
agreement frame. Quite simply, an agreement frame is a position of expecting and
 a t g o a y ’ o e s me n n n ge me tr
     n           e.                       t
w ni t s y‘ s T g t o o ei oa a re n f mey un e t a ka        a     o ed o s
                                                          ry ’ n x mp oo s
                                                             e.
series of consecutive questions which all elicit the answe ‘ s A e a l flw .e l

Example
S e   t u c e k h p l g f o r a , -A-R-A-H I ta c r c ’
             s              ln
‘ol mej t h c tes ei o y u n me S                  e?
                                          .s h t or t
A d h o t d ee s 0 0 ’
              c
‘n tep s o eh r i2 0 ?
O n o a h up s fhd             ei o a s o e i o r u g t n o
                                n           e
‘ka dy us i tep ro eo teme t gtd yi t rv w y u b d e a dt
                        ?
plan for a holiday, right’
 I j t h c my oe wt o , o r
  ’u
  l
 ‘l s c e k n ts i y u y uaemar dt J h wt 2c irnJ me a d
                           h      i
                                 re o o n i      l
                                            h hde a s n
   r?
    e
Mai ”

 h ln h s o e p n e y ’o r i . h y r n h ge me tr .
      i                           e         me
T ece t a n w rs o d d‘ s fu t s T e aei tea re n f me                        a
                                                                             ‘ ’
                                                                              e o
They are in a pattern of saying yes. This does not mean that they will answery st
anything you say, it means that they are warmed up and ready and willing and in an
agreeable frame.

This is a particularly good model to use for short conversations. Often advisers have
a need to telephone a client with information, get instructions or to provide
information. Imagine that you had informed the client that you would telephone them
with information, and that the outcome of this telephone call will make the difference
as to whether the client agrees to meet with you again and discuss further. Imagine
that the information you have is that a return they were anticipating at 9% is actually
3% and you now have to call with this information.

 f o a s meh g l g h i s fH S rh Mac s ee I f d h eun
                  n o        n
Iy us y o ti a n tele o ‘i aa , ru h r,’ ari tertrs           m a
          h n o x e t ,h y r n %”y u o l e sue h th ln
                        e              y              d
are lower ta y ue p c d te aeo l3 , o c u b a s rdta tece t                  i
would be disappointed and would be reluctant to hear more information about your
products and services.

However, consider the following example;
H S rh ti s ru , r o r o a ? ( e ”
           s
‘i aa ,h iMac s aey uf et tl ’‘ s)e      k y
Ia ai i h eas o a td n z, o
      l n
‘ m c l gwt ted ti y uw ne o zz in wag o t ? ( e ’
              h           l                s     me y )
                                             o d i ’‘ s
        This article may be copied and distributed provided that these references remain in tact.   1
                            First published in Tribeca On Track in May 2005
                                       www.acceleratenow.com.au
I a te ur teun h t o ee s c r u a o t a n i ( e ’
 t           e                             o
‘ w s h c r n rtr ta y uw r mo t ui s b u w s ’t’‘ s      t? y )
I i Ie a ta y u ee o i o ao n %.s h ti t’‘ s
  tn        l              on
‘ h k rc lh t o w r l k gfr ru d9 I ta r h? ( e ’    g     y )
O h n r t n h v ee u g s h t z s o g i o e h a ow r
        f     o                    s                 n
‘ktei omai I a eh r s g e t ta zzi n t o gt b tew yfr ad
 o y u Ii o n u a 3 T a i o o s t ? ( e ’
         s      g                s
fr o .t c mi o t t %. h t tol i ’t’‘ s w ni y )
O e   t     ae o   o to
‘K l meh v al ka s meoh r pi sa df ds meh gmoes i b fr
                               te o t n n i o ti
                                      o         n         n          t e
                                                                r ua l o
you. Can I make a time with you now to present some other options to you next
 e k’
w e?

You can see from the example above that the client would be more receptive through
being in the agreement frame. The agreement frame is also valuable during the
                         Ti c s g me n et h ln i
                           a on                   in
presentation and close. ‘r l l i ’ a sg t gtece tnoa a re ni     t n ge me t
frame and testing to see whether the product is suitable at the end of the
presentation and before making the close.

Example
S o a n es d o h rd c ok?
                  a        s     s
‘oy uc nu d rtn h wtipo u t w rs ’
                      th r s 0 e r o t to k g h s rmi
                                       me       n        ms ’
And you understand tha teeia1 y a c mmi n t ma i te epe u ?
D o h kh t 1 5
         n               nh s f d b o ad ti ’
                               o   e
‘oy uti ta $ 2 amo t iafra l tw rs h ?    s
D o n es d h t a p n i u a t k h a me t’
              a                y
‘oy uu d rtn w a h p e sf o c n ma etep y n?
S nu        r       .u
                     (
‘oi s mmay…….s mmai tr pe u a db n f ) h l es that up
                          r e em, rmi n e ei …s a w e t
                           s         m       ts   l
o a?
td y ’


Modality Talk
                    o a o o e a u g s o d p w rs h t u h te
                         k           s n
The easiest way t tl s me n ’ l g a ei t a o t od ta s iteoh r              t
 es n r y d l .f es n s i a s od u h s o , e n
        s ma              iy                  s ,
p ro ’ pi r mo at Iap ro i v u lu ew rss c a l k s ea d                   o
picture. If a person is auditory, use words and phrases like listen, sound and tell. If a
person is kinaesthetic use words such as sense, touch and feel.

 aey ’ d e tr
S ft vsA v nue
 rw      i n
          n           i e f a e n re s ey c r n ) t n n n
                      e                    t a ’
D a a le o a p c o p p ra d w i ‘ ft (eti y a o e e d a d at
a e tr’u c r n ) th te.
  d               at
‘ v nue (n eti y a teoh rWea h v apeee c   l
                                           l ae       rfrn eas too how much
safety or adventure we prefer. Generally, we will apply our attitude to safety and
adventure across all aspects of life.

Consider Richard Branson as an example. In business he is a big risk taker. He
thrives on uncertainty. He has competed directly with global established companies
such as British Airways, HMV and Coca Cola. What does he like doing in his
personal life? He thrives on adventure! He has flown around the world in a hot air
balloon and competed in yacht racing. He has had numerous near death
experiences.

   e o n es d n te p ro ’ t u e o aey n d e tr, o a
                   a                  s i  t
Wh ny uu d rtn a oh r es n at d t s ft a da v nue y uc n
begin to talk their language. If someone is predominantly more comfortable with
 aey s od i g rne d l i ’ c t n ‘ ue ’ t f es n s
     ,              k u            ,o s , e a ’ s
s ft u ew rsle‘ aa te ’‘w r k ‘ r i,a s rd ec iap ro i       , .
 l e t d e tr, s od le g
 o                              k a l, d e tr’f y f , xi g
                                        e‘
c s roa v nue u ew rsi ‘ mb ’a v nue ‘t i ’e ci ’      f t
                                                    , i -f y ‘ t . n

When it comes to ascertaining risk, you must always follow compliant risk profiling
techniques. Do not put an adventurous person into shares and a safety person into
deposits, on the basis of knowing their preference for safety and adventure.
Consider their preference for safety or adventure and use appropriate words for the
purpose of communicating.



        This article may be copied and distributed provided that these references remain in tact.   2
                            First published in Tribeca On Track in May 2005
                                       www.acceleratenow.com.au
For example when building rapport talk to a safety person about routine, non risky
things like gardening or reading. When building rapport with an adventurous person
talk about spontaneous risky things like motor racing and bungy jumping.

   e o r x l i hde ’ d c t n o l i e p
                    on       l s           o       s h
Wh ny uaee p r gc irn e u ai g a wt p o l with a preference fore
safety, talk about the structure of the education system and academic pathways. In
other words, the routine aspects of a child getting educated. When you are exploring
 hde ’ d c t n o l i e p
   l s             o       s h          e h ae
c irn e u ai g a wt p o l w o h v apeee c fr            rfrn e o adventure, talk
about the fun of living on campus and getting an experience for life. In other words,
the excitement of the child going out and exploring the world.

When you make a presentation, focus on the certain aspects with people with a need
for safety, and focus on the uncertain aspects (and the associated possibilities) with
people for a need for adventure.

Chunking Up/Chunking Down
  rw i n i e f a e a d re d a’s e i s h n i o n a o e
          n          e                     t e l
D a aleo ap c o p p r n w i ‘ ti (p ci / u k gd w ) t n  c
                                                        f c       n
 n n v u n s’c u k g p
            a                  n
e da d‘ g e e s (h n i u ) at the other. We all have a preference as too
how much detail we prefer or how vague we prefer to be. Generally, we will apply our
attitude to chunking across all aspects of life.

If a person likes a lot of detail, you will not be talking their language if you offer them
a high level overview and vice versa.

Sometimes there is a need to get a vague person to give more detail and a detailed
person to be more general. To get more detail from a vague person ask questions
i h
le‘ w s e i ay ’ rw a e a t? T g t d tidp ro t g eamoe
 k o p ci l? o ‘h t x cy ’ o e a eae es n o i
              f l
               c                    l .                l               v        r
 e ea rs o s s u so s i g eay h t . ri n e tn e h w
                           i     k e        l          ”
g n rle p n ea kq e t n le‘ n rl w a…. o ‘ o es ne c , o   n
 o l o ….
    d
w u yu .     .
             ’


Words to be mindful of
There are words that require you to proceed with care;
   >   No
   >   But
   >   Why
   >    o’
       Dnt

No
           n cn ae
            o               e ai mp c o h e e e. e ai mp c c n ra
                               v              v       v
The word ‘ ’ a h v an g tei a t nterc i r A n g tei a t a be k
 a p r o s e d l i h od n f
       .      d
rp otC n i r e t gtew r ‘ ’rm y u v c b l y e c p i i tn e w eeis
                     en                       a       n s
                                 o o o r o a u r, xe t n a c s h r ti
used to confirm a negative.
Confirming Negatives
I n b h re n x fe iI’
 w t             t    l
‘ o ’ ec ag da e i e wl?
’ o ’ e h re a o h i rw l iI’
I   t               h      l
‘w n b c ag dtx ntewtda a wl?
T e rmi o s ’ sa t v r y a d e i
       m     t    a              ?
‘h pe u d e n e c l ee ey e r o st’
 s er
  d o o fmi e ai s sn h x mp b v ,h od n s o l e v i d I
           r g
A i f m c ni n n g te a i tee a l a o e tew r ‘ ’h u b a o e .
                    v           e                  o       d        d
 fe e a k d h to a n e d fn . h n w r
                     s      o
otng t se w a t s yi ta o ‘ ’T ea s e is nothing, say nothing. Just delete
n f m h o a u r.
 or           a
‘ ’ o tev c b l y



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                            First published in Tribeca On Track in May 2005
                                       www.acceleratenow.com.au
Examples
S o l g t u s m a tee do tetr ’‘o w u j t e trep y nsa
      d
‘ow u I e al                    Y    d s
              mp u th n fh em? ( u o l u g the a me t t
 er35 n 0   )
y as , a d1 ’
C n t s te oc t
     a e     i
‘a Irn frh p ly omy o ? ( notn tltep lys o t n frb ’
                   s n ’‘ fr ae h oc in tr s a l)
                         U  u   y    i      a e e
Cn o o       n e       h v n g ’ ‘ e e t v ib p o t n
                        s
‘a y u c me a d s e me ti e e i ? ( h n x a aa l a p i me tIh v i
                              n    T         l e     n       ae s
o r ’
   o
tmorw)

But
 h od b ’u s
T ew r ‘ ti anegator.tsrc i db o r ri a ac mma dt ‘n r a dd l e
                     Ii e e e y u ba s s o
                           v        n             g
                                              n o i oe n e te
 h t j h ad eoe h b ’ o n h ha e h s ra k , u h s a g t t
       s              u’.            e        d
w a Iu t e r b fr te‘ t S i tep rs ‘ i age t i b t ei n u hya
 c o lte e e e wl n a e oe fh a th th hd s a g t i c o l
     ’      v   l y                      l
sh o,h rc i r io ltk n t o tefc ta tec i in u hynsh o  .
 gi hr r i
   n
A a teeaet sw e tew r ‘ th si u e ,o e a l t d leae n g t
                me h n h od b ’ a t s s fr x mp o eb rtl e ae
                             u    s            e   i   y
something you have said.
Examples
Ae h r nr e s ’‘ s h r r nr e s u te eun q oe s e o te e
         y      Y          y                            )
‘r teee t fe ? ( e teeaee t fe b th rtr I u tdin t fh s ’
I h
 s s i y rd c (ts e me o e i y rd c i h ttn s n v re s
           s          ? I                      s
‘ ti ar k po u t’‘ i d e dt b ar k po u tnta ii e t i o es a            v s
shares, but as we discussed you need at least 10% of your portfolio to be invested in this
 y f rd c t c i e o r b cv s n o t o ri poi ”
 p                   e
t eo po u toa h v y u o j te a dt mac y u r k rf .
                                ei                h       s        e
                                                                  l)
  et a en te o ‘ ’ h n o o o ws o e ae h t o a e a s a ’ o
     e t        v        u                        h        d n.
Ab t r l rai frb tw e y ud n t i t n g t w a y uh v s i i ‘ d S
h b v x mp o l e o H s ra k n e s a g t a sh o. h o l
                 e      d                           d      ’ s
tea o ee a l w u b c me‘eiage t i a dh in u hy t c o lT iw u    d
mean the receiver retaining both parts of the information.

Why?
 h u so w y ’
         i          s u so h t p s h e e e i
                              i
T eq e t n‘h ? i aq e t nta s i terc i rnod fn emo e A k g‘ y ’
                                        n          v    t ee c                n
                                                                      d . si Wh ?
suggests to the receiver that they need to defend a choice or decision they have made.
 o s e te i e c fmp c b te n Wh i o e o
     d        f e                               d
C n i rh d frn eo i a t ew e ‘ yd y ub c meata h r’ n ‘ a g t    e c e? a d Wh t o
 o n h e c i rfsi ?
     t           n
y ui oteta h gpoe s n ’     o .
    ot moe u t a o a k g h u so w y ’ o s te u so h
      e            e
As f r r s bl w y f si teq e t n‘h ? it a k h q e t n‘ wc me ’ r
                                n   i s           i o o ?o   ,
to ask other exploratory questions.
Examples
Why did you buy this house?                              What brought you to this area?
Why did you invest in shares?                            How come you invested in shares?
Why did you break into the savings?                      How come you needed to access the savings?

 o’
D nt
 o’t
D n is a complicated word that our brains are required to decipher. For example if you say
d ’ a v rte ri a o g r h od d ’ n es d h e tn e f l v r
 ot l                n
‘ n flo e’h ba h st i oetew r ‘ n ’u d rtn tes ne c ‘ lo e’
                                n                ot   ,        a                   a
 n hn pl h oy           n d ’wi
                             ot  , c        a s e es h e tn e r e k pposite.
a dte a p tec mma d‘ n ’ h hme n rv retes ne c o s e o
Fortunately our brains are very quick processors of information and can do this in a
nanosecond. However in addition to taking time to decipher, a sentence incorporating the
 od d ’a o e u e te e e e t h k b u te e ai i
       ot s          r          v       n                  v n
w r ‘ n ’ l rq i s h rc i roti a o th n g te( this case falling over).
Examples
 o ’ og to a J h
   t        l
D n fre t c l o n                              =         Remember to call John
I oe d ’ po e sf g to a J h ’ e k p o i fog t e mb ro a J h )
 g     ot ,
( n r ‘ n ’ rc s ‘ re t c l o n s e o p seo fre =rme e t c l o n
                 o        l    ,         t                 l


f o o ’ ce s h n rs
       t         t
Iy ud n a c s tei ee t                         =         Allow the interest to compound



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                            First published in Tribeca On Track in May 2005
                                       www.acceleratenow.com.au
      e d ’ rc s a e s h n rs,h k i h u hs b u h v g h n rs t
           ot ,        c           t ’ n c
(Ignor ‘ n ’po e s‘ c s tei ee t ti n eto g t a o t a i tei ee to       n       t
spend, seek the opposite of seeking the interest = not touching the interest = allow the
interest to compound


  e t d ’f
   e     o t o h o a u r. h o o l e
                                a     s        y
D l e‘ n ’rm tev c b l y T i n t n k eps you focused on positives, it
also helps the receiver to process what you are saying more quickly and effortlessly.
 h u s o ‘ u o’ lw h a
       e       h d
T erl frs o l n t oo tes mep t rs s o ‘ n ’
                          fl                 e
                                          at n a frd ’   ot  .


Summary
Note: The intention of this article is to build advanced skills to incorporate into your
existing compliant practice and does not replace any existing requirements upon
you. Even if your new advanced communication skills identified that your client had a
high desire for taking risks, you would still be expected to conduct risk profiling tools
and techniques. It may be the case that the client has a need for certainty in a select
area of their portfolio. It may be the case that the client has taken too much risk with
their portfolio and now needs a level of certainty in order for diversification.

The skill of advanced communication lies in your ability to develop your sensory
acuity. Observe how people around you communicate and notice the responses they
are getting. Explore how you react when others communicate with you. Understand
that when someone is sharing a positive experience, for example how much they
enjoy their work, it has an impact on you and makes you feel joyous. Yet when
someone talks about how they despise their job and how they are not respected and
valued, it has a negative impact on how you feel.

  e w r f h od n , b ’ d ’ n h u so w y d s o r
                              o u, o t
B a ae o te w rs ‘ ’ ‘ t ‘ n ’a d te q e t n ‘h ’ A j ty u    i         . u
vocabulary so that you only use these words in their most effective format. Notice the
results that others get from using these words.

 o i o e p n e ti o o e ss o o o r? F na t! ,’
       l                me                         i’ o
H w wly urs o dn x t s me n a k y uh w y uae ‘a tsc? ‘h
              o rI v a h os w e , h s e n wu?
               ?    h                 t          ’
you know, so-s ’ o ‘ a eh dtew rt e k i a b e a fl




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