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					18        Metrotainment                                                                                                                                     September 2007

 Film reviews                                         with Marcus Sinclair

What a surprise! It’s clever, witty, satirical and
funny; it’s THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (PG). The
transfer from the box to the big screen is most
successful, thus allowing plenty of room for the
development of sight gags, which are in abundance.

                                                                              Home alone ...
The plot hinges around the current world problem of
pollution and the attitude taken by politicians and
the fickle masses. Running for 87 minutes it is just
the tonic not only to drive away the winter blues,
but also to offer food for thought through laughter.
The Deep South is the setting for writer/director
Craig Brewer’s BLACK SNAKE MOAN (MA), a tale
                                                                              WHETHER IT’S because Mum and Dad need to leave you at home for a bit, or
about a nymphomaniac (Christina Ricci) who,
beaten up and left for dead in her underwear on a                            because they’ve finally got the message that you’re not some little kid anymore,
lonely bush track, is found and taken home by a                              these school holidays might be the first time that you’ll be left on your own from
kindly, poor farmer (Samuel L Jackson) who cares                             anything from a few minutes to a few hours, depending on your age.
for her and tries to reform her licentious ways.
                                                                              If your parents haven’t talked to you about being home alone yet, how about
Apart from the fine acting of the two principals and
the fine music (which those in the know tell me is
                                                                             you approach them with the ideas listed below? Now that’ll show them that
superb), this is a glorified B-movie which verges on                         you’re well and truly up to the challenge of looking after yourself!
soft porn. It defies credibility on all levels and drags
on for 116 minutes.                                                                       What to do
BOYNTON BEACH CLUB (M)                                                       * Your body often will signal when you are
This one is strictly for “old-timers”. Susan                                   feeling unsafe or nervous. It’s important to
Seidelman’s BOYNTON BEACH CLUB (M) is an                                       listen and trust these signals.
enlarged TV Soap, set in a retirement village in                               If you’re unsure about something, ring your
sunny Florida.                                                                 mum and dad, or some other trusted
Amid the sexual references, the occasional coarse                              contact.
language, and the corny plotting, she brings her                             * Have a list of contact and emergency
characters to life as various elderly people who                               numbers available near the telephone.
manage to come to grips with the loss of a loved one
                                                                             * Have an escape route planned for any likely
and find comfort in the company or arms of another.
                                                                               emergency, and practice it with your parents.
It stars Joseph Bologna, Dyan Cannon, Len Cariou,
Sally Kellerman, Michael Nouri, Renee Taylor and                             * Make sure you understand what electrical          always say that your Mum or Dad can’t
Brenda Vaccaro.                                                                appliances and utensils you can use for           come to the phone and take a message.
                                                                               food preparation.
DR PLONK (G)                                                                                                                     Don’t get into conversations with the caller.
                                                                             * Keep doors and windows locked when                If someone’s at the front door, don’t answer
Made for the standard screen (1.33:1), filmed in                               inside the house, but make sure you know          it without looking to see who it is. If it’s no
black and white, no dialogue, highly stylised acting                           how to get out easily in an emergency.            one you know, don’t open the door. If you
accompanied by captions and simple melodies                                                                                      happen to open the door without thinking,
                                                                             * Callers - Never tell people who you don’t
played on the violin, piano accordion and double                                                                                 don’t invite them in.
                                                                               know that you’re at home by yourself –
bass, Rolf de Heer’s DR PLONK (G) is a throw back
to the Golden Days of the Hollywood silents.
Starring Nigel L Lunghi, Paul Blackwell, and
Magda Szubanski, it tells of an eccentric scientist                           Educational toys bring added income
who goes into the future to prove to the Prime                                 DO YOU want to bring additional income
Minister that the world is going to end in 2007. The                          into your household while directly advancing
narrative is rice paper thin, the gags are repetitive,                        and educating your children? Jigsaw
and it’s not particularly funny. Verdict: a cinematic                         Educational Toys Pty Ltd produces an award
curio!                                                                        winning Australian designed and owned
NO RESERVATIONS (PG)                                                          product. Their unique range of fun and
                                                                              stimulating toys, games, books and puzzles
Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart and little                                are beautifully made and of the highest
Abigail Breslin (who steals the show) are the stars                           quality.
of Scott Hicks’ NO RESERVATIONS (PG), a rather
weak comedy/tragedy/romance set in a high class                                      Support along the way
New York restaurant. In the film, Zeta-Jones and                                Imagine being able to work your own hours
Eckhart are both chefs, both have professional                                and still be able to fulfil all your family’s
rivalries, and they finish up falling in love.                                needs during the busy week. Jigsaw offers
                                                                              you the flexiblity to earn as much as you
Yes, nothing new here, and what there is, is of little
                                                                              want, with a full-time or part-time income —
interest to the male of the species. Hicks does a fair
                                                                              it’s up to you. This is a proven company with
job at directing. He makes great use of arias from
                                                                              a world-class product and you’ll be supported
well known operas and the natural locations around
                                                                              every step with a low start up system.
the big city.                                                                                                                   over Australia. What has made Jigsaw so
                                                                               Still going strong after 35 years                successful is the genuine delight so many
DIE HARD 4.0 (M)
                                                                               Duncan Watson has continued the fine             parents have in seeing their children
Bruce Willis is back as John McClane, super hero of                           work his mother Jeanie McKendrick founded         advance and enjoy these colourful and
the NYPD, in Len Wiseman’s DIE HARD 4.0 (M).                                  over 35 years ago in creating the toy shop        stimulating toys. Call 1300 JIGSAW for a
From start to finish there is rip roaring action as                           with a difference . . . we come to you! Jeanie    go-ahead pack and launch into a lifestyle
Bruce battles the machinations of master villian                              became only the second woman to be                you will truly enjoy and appreciate for years.
Timothy Olyphant, who is determined to take                                                 inducted into the hall of fame in
revenge against the government for refusing to                                               the Direct Selling Association
recognise his superior computer-generated system                                              of Australia.
in place of the one that the officials have to control
everything from traffic management, power, money,                                               Launch into a new
finance etc, etc.                                                                                    lifestyle                  28 Progress St, Dandenong Sth
Wiseman knows how to fill the big screen with                                                        This product is found      1300 JIGSAW (1300 544 729)
spectacular car chases, gunfights, computer                                                         in pre schools, primary
                                                                                                    schools, and homes all      www.jigsaw.net
gadgetry, and massive destruction of buildings,
freeways, cars and flying machines.
                                                                                                                  WIN WIN WIN
The editing is rapid and highly professional in the
modern style; the camera is constantly on the                                 Jigsaw Educational Toys Pty Ltd is offering 5 lucky readers the chance to win a Designer-3,
movie; and Bruce has the professional know-how                                40 piece laser cut wooden puzzle to the value of $47.95 each. To enter simply forward your
and skill to make this nonsense world of virtual                              name, address, age, gender, email and contact numbers to - Jigsaw, metro news, PO Box
reality totally believable. A must for all action fans.                       2224 St Kilda West 3182. All entries must be in by 3/10/07.
 September 2007                                                                                                                               Kids Mini Metro 19

    mini metro
. kids and home safety
                                                Priority 2
                                                • Cool the burned skin with gently
                                                  running, cool water from a tap or hose
                                                  for 10 minutes.
                                                Priority 3
                                                • Cover the burned area. Use a sterile
                                                  non-stick dressing or clean wet cloth.
                                                DO NOT use lotions, butter or oils on
                                                 burns; DO NOT prick blisters. If the
                                                 burn is larger than a 20c piece and/or
                                                 there are blisters, you’ll need medical

                                                  In the event of a fire
                                                 Hopefully, your family should already
                                                have a fire safety plan. If not, ask your
                                                parents to organize one urgently.
                                                 Here are some tips:
                                                • If you discover a fire, help anyone in
                                                  need if it is safe for you to do so, and
                                                  leave the room.
                                                • Close the door to prevent the fire from                       Photos courtesy of The Safety Centre, Royal Children’s Hospital.
 * Accidents - Most accidents are minor.          spreading to the rest of the house.
   However, occasionally, what looks like       • Get out the nearest and safest exit
   nothing can in fact be something more          possible.
   serious. To be on the safe side, ring your
                                                • If you live in a two storey house and find
                                                                                                                 Resources to tell your parents about
   parents if you’ve hurt yourself and let
                                                  you can’t escape, don’t panic:                 Kidsafe VIC has some useful information about safety. 9251 7725.
   them know what happened.
                                                • Move any one who is at home into the           www.kidsafevic.com.au
         Scrapes and grazes                       one room.                                      As does the Safety Centre at The Royal Children’s Hospital. 9345 5786.
  Wash thoroughly with running water to         • Close the door and seal the bottom of          www.rch.org.au/safetycentre
 remove dirt. Cover with non-stick                the doorway with a blanket to prevent
 dressing, bandage or tape the dressing in                                                       The Metropolitan Fire Brigade (MFB) provides in depth home safety brochures
                                                  smoke entering the room.                       about fire safety. 9665 4464.
                                                • Ensure you have a landline phone or            http://www.mfb.org.au
          Burns and scalds                        mobile phone in your bedroom and dial
                                                  000 for the fire brigade.                      State Emergency Service (SES) has a Kids Corner website with activities,
 Priority 1                                                                                      information and action plans.
                                                • Move to the window, open it and yell for
 • Smother burning clothing: STOP, DROP                                                          http://www.ses.vic.gov.au
   and ROLL then smother with water or a                                                         Police Victoria also has information on home safety on their website, look under
   blanket.                                     • Do not jump.
                                                                                                 their Community Safety pages
 • If a hot liquid caused the burn, remove      • Once out of a burning house, stay out.
   clothing carefully, but quickly.             • Phone the fire brigade on 000.

       Last month’s
                                                New range of classic Mooo toys
                                                  MIKE WILSON, Mooo designer and                  free storage box worth $20. The puzzle
    competition winners                         maker of kid’s toys has just announced the        pieces have three coats of paint and
                                                release of a new range of beautiful and           wooden pegs perfect for small fingers.
          were:                                 classic Mooo toys which come with their            Fundraising - Think Mooo
       Charlotte Smith, Age3,                   own storage system. No more lost pieces
                                                and everyone knows where they go.                 Fundraising with Mooo is simple to run,
         Mount Waverley                                                                         profitable and won’t rot your teeth. They
                                                  Mike says “The new range is a mixture of
      Bridget Graffeo, Age 7,                                                                   offer two options: hands-on and auto-pilot.
                                                practicality and innovation. For example
            Elsternwick                                                                         They also stock you up with flyers and step
                                                the Mooo wooden alphabet and shapes
                                                                                                by step instructions to make things hassle
                                                puzzles come in four separate pieces which
        Brittany Raux, Age 11,                                                                  free.
                                                easily click together with magnets so while
                                                the puzzles are now actually bigger in size
                                                they’re easily stored in a compact box.
                                                With some of the new classic toy sets the
                                                lid slides out and on the back is a roll-call
                                                of all the contents. Pack-uptime becomes a
                                                game in itself”.
                                                • Personalised Name Puzzles: from
                                                  $24.95 Mooo Name Puzzles are a
                                                  fantastic way for children to learn their                                                        Order securely online or
                                                  name. These puzzles are tactile,                                                                 call 1800 507 592
                                                  stimulating, colourful and fun. Can be
                                                  made to order in any child’s name and
                                                  inclues a free storage box worth $13.
                                                                                                WIN        Mooo is offering 6 boxed Personalised name puzzles, valued up to $46.95
                                                                                                           each. All puzzles come with a free solid wood storage box worth $13. To
                                                • New Boxed Super Size Puzzles:                 WIN        enter simply forward your name, address, age, gender, email and contact
                                                  $79.95 The range includes alphabet and                   numbers to Mooo, c/- metro news, PO Box 2224, St Kilda West, 3182.
                                                  shapes puzzles which all come with a          WIN        Entries close 30/9/07.

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