18 Metrotainment September 2007 Film reviews with Marcus Sinclair THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (PG) What a surprise! It’s clever, witty, satirical and funny; it’s THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (PG). The transfer from the box to the big screen is most successful, thus allowing plenty of room for the development of sight gags, which are in abundance. Home alone ... The plot hinges around the current world problem of pollution and the attitude taken by politicians and the fickle masses. Running for 87 minutes it is just the tonic not only to drive away the winter blues, but also to offer food for thought through laughter. BLACK SNAKE MOAN (MA) The Deep South is the setting for writer/director Craig Brewer’s BLACK SNAKE MOAN (MA), a tale WHETHER IT’S because Mum and Dad need to leave you at home for a bit, or about a nymphomaniac (Christina Ricci) who, beaten up and left for dead in her underwear on a because they’ve finally got the message that you’re not some little kid anymore, lonely bush track, is found and taken home by a these school holidays might be the first time that you’ll be left on your own from kindly, poor farmer (Samuel L Jackson) who cares anything from a few minutes to a few hours, depending on your age. for her and tries to reform her licentious ways. If your parents haven’t talked to you about being home alone yet, how about Apart from the fine acting of the two principals and the fine music (which those in the know tell me is you approach them with the ideas listed below? Now that’ll show them that superb), this is a glorified B-movie which verges on you’re well and truly up to the challenge of looking after yourself! soft porn. It defies credibility on all levels and drags on for 116 minutes. What to do BOYNTON BEACH CLUB (M) * Your body often will signal when you are This one is strictly for “old-timers”. Susan feeling unsafe or nervous. It’s important to Seidelman’s BOYNTON BEACH CLUB (M) is an listen and trust these signals. enlarged TV Soap, set in a retirement village in If you’re unsure about something, ring your sunny Florida. mum and dad, or some other trusted Amid the sexual references, the occasional coarse contact. language, and the corny plotting, she brings her * Have a list of contact and emergency characters to life as various elderly people who numbers available near the telephone. manage to come to grips with the loss of a loved one * Have an escape route planned for any likely and find comfort in the company or arms of another. emergency, and practice it with your parents. It stars Joseph Bologna, Dyan Cannon, Len Cariou, Sally Kellerman, Michael Nouri, Renee Taylor and * Make sure you understand what electrical always say that your Mum or Dad can’t Brenda Vaccaro. appliances and utensils you can use for come to the phone and take a message. food preparation. DR PLONK (G) Don’t get into conversations with the caller. * Keep doors and windows locked when If someone’s at the front door, don’t answer Made for the standard screen (1.33:1), filmed in inside the house, but make sure you know it without looking to see who it is. If it’s no black and white, no dialogue, highly stylised acting how to get out easily in an emergency. one you know, don’t open the door. If you accompanied by captions and simple melodies happen to open the door without thinking, * Callers - Never tell people who you don’t played on the violin, piano accordion and double don’t invite them in. know that you’re at home by yourself – bass, Rolf de Heer’s DR PLONK (G) is a throw back to the Golden Days of the Hollywood silents. Starring Nigel L Lunghi, Paul Blackwell, and Magda Szubanski, it tells of an eccentric scientist Educational toys bring added income who goes into the future to prove to the Prime DO YOU want to bring additional income Minister that the world is going to end in 2007. The into your household while directly advancing narrative is rice paper thin, the gags are repetitive, and educating your children? Jigsaw and it’s not particularly funny. Verdict: a cinematic Educational Toys Pty Ltd produces an award curio! winning Australian designed and owned NO RESERVATIONS (PG) product. Their unique range of fun and stimulating toys, games, books and puzzles Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart and little are beautifully made and of the highest Abigail Breslin (who steals the show) are the stars quality. of Scott Hicks’ NO RESERVATIONS (PG), a rather weak comedy/tragedy/romance set in a high class Support along the way New York restaurant. In the film, Zeta-Jones and Imagine being able to work your own hours Eckhart are both chefs, both have professional and still be able to fulfil all your family’s rivalries, and they finish up falling in love. needs during the busy week. Jigsaw offers you the flexiblity to earn as much as you Yes, nothing new here, and what there is, is of little want, with a full-time or part-time income — interest to the male of the species. Hicks does a fair it’s up to you. This is a proven company with job at directing. He makes great use of arias from a world-class product and you’ll be supported well known operas and the natural locations around every step with a low start up system. the big city. over Australia. What has made Jigsaw so Still going strong after 35 years successful is the genuine delight so many DIE HARD 4.0 (M) Duncan Watson has continued the fine parents have in seeing their children Bruce Willis is back as John McClane, super hero of work his mother Jeanie McKendrick founded advance and enjoy these colourful and the NYPD, in Len Wiseman’s DIE HARD 4.0 (M). over 35 years ago in creating the toy shop stimulating toys. Call 1300 JIGSAW for a From start to finish there is rip roaring action as with a difference . . . we come to you! Jeanie go-ahead pack and launch into a lifestyle Bruce battles the machinations of master villian became only the second woman to be you will truly enjoy and appreciate for years. Timothy Olyphant, who is determined to take inducted into the hall of fame in revenge against the government for refusing to the Direct Selling Association recognise his superior computer-generated system of Australia. in place of the one that the officials have to control everything from traffic management, power, money, Launch into a new finance etc, etc. lifestyle 28 Progress St, Dandenong Sth Wiseman knows how to fill the big screen with This product is found 1300 JIGSAW (1300 544 729) spectacular car chases, gunfights, computer in pre schools, primary schools, and homes all www.jigsaw.net gadgetry, and massive destruction of buildings, freeways, cars and flying machines. WIN WIN WIN The editing is rapid and highly professional in the modern style; the camera is constantly on the Jigsaw Educational Toys Pty Ltd is offering 5 lucky readers the chance to win a Designer-3, movie; and Bruce has the professional know-how 40 piece laser cut wooden puzzle to the value of $47.95 each. To enter simply forward your and skill to make this nonsense world of virtual name, address, age, gender, email and contact numbers to - Jigsaw, metro news, PO Box reality totally believable. A must for all action fans. 2224 St Kilda West 3182. All entries must be in by 3/10/07. September 2007 Kids Mini Metro 19 mini metro . kids and home safety Priority 2 • Cool the burned skin with gently running, cool water from a tap or hose for 10 minutes. Priority 3 • Cover the burned area. Use a sterile non-stick dressing or clean wet cloth. DO NOT use lotions, butter or oils on burns; DO NOT prick blisters. If the burn is larger than a 20c piece and/or there are blisters, you’ll need medical help. In the event of a fire Hopefully, your family should already have a fire safety plan. If not, ask your parents to organize one urgently. Here are some tips: • If you discover a fire, help anyone in need if it is safe for you to do so, and leave the room. • Close the door to prevent the fire from Photos courtesy of The Safety Centre, Royal Children’s Hospital. * Accidents - Most accidents are minor. spreading to the rest of the house. However, occasionally, what looks like • Get out the nearest and safest exit nothing can in fact be something more possible. serious. To be on the safe side, ring your • If you live in a two storey house and find Resources to tell your parents about parents if you’ve hurt yourself and let you can’t escape, don’t panic: Kidsafe VIC has some useful information about safety. 9251 7725. them know what happened. • Move any one who is at home into the www.kidsafevic.com.au Scrapes and grazes one room. As does the Safety Centre at The Royal Children’s Hospital. 9345 5786. Wash thoroughly with running water to • Close the door and seal the bottom of www.rch.org.au/safetycentre remove dirt. Cover with non-stick the doorway with a blanket to prevent dressing, bandage or tape the dressing in The Metropolitan Fire Brigade (MFB) provides in depth home safety brochures smoke entering the room. about fire safety. 9665 4464. place. • Ensure you have a landline phone or http://www.mfb.org.au Burns and scalds mobile phone in your bedroom and dial 000 for the fire brigade. State Emergency Service (SES) has a Kids Corner website with activities, Priority 1 information and action plans. • Move to the window, open it and yell for • Smother burning clothing: STOP, DROP http://www.ses.vic.gov.au help. and ROLL then smother with water or a Police Victoria also has information on home safety on their website, look under blanket. • Do not jump. their Community Safety pages • If a hot liquid caused the burn, remove • Once out of a burning house, stay out. http://www.police.vic.gov.au clothing carefully, but quickly. • Phone the fire brigade on 000. Last month’s colouring New range of classic Mooo toys MIKE WILSON, Mooo designer and free storage box worth $20. The puzzle competition winners maker of kid’s toys has just announced the pieces have three coats of paint and release of a new range of beautiful and wooden pegs perfect for small fingers. were: classic Mooo toys which come with their Fundraising - Think Mooo Charlotte Smith, Age3, own storage system. No more lost pieces and everyone knows where they go. Fundraising with Mooo is simple to run, Mount Waverley profitable and won’t rot your teeth. They Mike says “The new range is a mixture of Bridget Graffeo, Age 7, offer two options: hands-on and auto-pilot. practicality and innovation. 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To • New Boxed Super Size Puzzles: WIN enter simply forward your name, address, age, gender, email and contact $79.95 The range includes alphabet and numbers to Mooo, c/- metro news, PO Box 2224, St Kilda West, 3182. shapes puzzles which all come with a WIN Entries close 30/9/07.